"Sticks and stones can break your bones,
"but words,
"words are weapons of mass destruction in the wrong hands.
"Words, when you say them out loud...
".. can have the power to tempt fate,
"to unravel the very fabric of society."
I think I might be ready.
Nah, mate, it's choppy as anything.
- There's nothing to surf. - No, I don't mean that.
I mean ready to engage.
Oh, you mean with your bevy of lovelies?
Well, I... I wouldn't say 'bevy'.
So hang on, when you say you think you might,
what do you mean?
Well, sometimes I think I'm not.
You know, that it's too complicated, too soon.
Hang on, are you one of those blokes that gets in trouble
when he starts thinking about stuff?
Or are you one of those blokes that gets in trouble
when he just doesn't think?
Bit of both.
OK, so you're an option C bloke.
There's an option C?
Fate.
Let fate decide for you.
Well, you remember what a CFO is, right?
Yup.
It's a Compulsory Family Outing.
Correct!
And you understand the term 'compulsory'
in this context, right?
It means you and Geek Boy go have wild adventures
while I stay here.
Come on, come and explore with us.
If you wanna live in this place,
you're gonna have to engage with it.
Pass.
OK, your loss.
Come, excitement awaits.
It's Weld, Dad. Don't get your hopes up.
- Watch out for cougars. - What cougars?
Ignore your sister.
I do know what cougars are, Dad.
But none of the girls we know around here are older than you.
Yeah, exactly.
And if there were loads of girls chasing after you,
I think I would probably notice.
Thanks, mate.
It's definitely all in Shay's mind.
She's just at that age
where everything she thinks about is sex.
Uh-huh.
Only me!
(Shit.)
Stay here.
Woody.
Oh, hey, Shay.
I sense that there are others in the house.
Nah. Just me. Studying.
Do you have to work today?
Oh, look, you'll hardly know I'm here,
apart from the occasional power tool.
Right, but, you know, the whole studying thing.
Oh, look, I made a solemn promise to your dad
that I would get his office done,
and I have broken that promise way too many times.
You'll hardly know I'm here.
Not helpful.
So, are you coming or not?
So, my guess is this probably won't be
one of the great museums of the world.
Cynicism helps nobody, Arlo.
So, do we pay or what?
I guess we just look around.
Well, that won't take too long.
Check this out.
Bunch of sad old dudes.
No, no, the... the writing crimes.
"Some of the survivor's" -- with a misused apostrophe --
"in where some 180 'soles' were lost."
S-O-L-E-S. Maybe only their feet drowned, right?
Yeah, yeah.
"Most catastrophic shipwreck."
How many shipwrecks have they had round here?
Quite a few, actually.
- Oh, Fiona. - George. Arlo.
Got a problem with our captions?
No, not at all.
Well, you should -- they're awful.
What are you doing now?
Now? Not much.
Good. Then you can rewrite them.
It's still got all its pieces in the right place.
Katie made Dad glue the top rock on
just in case it took off down the hill again.
What's the deal with her and your dad?
She's, uh, the next one after my mum.
They were pretty good for a while,
and then he got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
Mm.
Yeah, she gave him the boot.
They've still got the hots for each other, though.
What about my dad?
Nah, I don't think my dad's got the hots for George.
I meant Katie, idiot!
She could do a lot worse.
Why?
No reason.
Has he got a thing for her?
My mum died, Ike. Less than a year ago.
Yeah, I know, and that's really sad,
but a man's got to move on sometime.
What?
You don't know anything.
You're not the one watching them circle him.
Them who?
Those women, being friendly to him all the time.
Maybe they're just being friendly.
It's a pretty friendly place.
Maybe you just need to chill out a bit,
go with the flow.
I don't want to go with the flow.
Your call.
I don't wanna be here.
Take me home.
- How do you find the time? - Sorry, what?
The museum, the boat club, the book club.
Driving the ambulance.
I like to keep busy.
Well, you do an amazing job.
Doing all... all those jobs.
Thanks.
You... you right there?
Oh, yeah, yeah. I just... I'm just thinking.
Careful with that. Might get you in trouble.
Hey, Dad! Come check this stuff out.
No. He shouldn't be in there.
For museum staff only, OK?
Why?
No offence, this is way cooler than what you have out there.
It's complicated, OK? Out.
- Both of you, get out. - Why isn't this on display?
Uh, it's been withdrawn from the museum by the donor.
Let me guess -- the McNamara family.
Yes, the McNamara family.
Thought they'd be all over the chance to glorify their name.
They were, and now they're not.
What changed?
Let's just say that I've got no interest
in people who rewrite history.
Now please get out, before I have to find out if this works.
Instead of poking your noses where you shouldn't,
you can make yourself useful delivering these.
There you go.
A fundraiser for the fundraiser?
It's the fundraiser that raises funds
to stage the main fundraiser,
which is the annual Weld historical ball.
OK, well, that kind of makes sense.
Of course it makes sense.
So, you up for delivering some, or got something better to do?
No, no. I'm sure we can do that.
Great!
And then tonight you can come to the committee meeting, OK?
Is Fiona one of the cougars
that Shay was talking about?
There are no cougars, Arlo.
Hey, what say when we finish this,
we head up the McNamara place?
To find out why all the good stuff's hidden out the back?
Yeah.
Was that gunfire?
Is this wise, moving towards gunfire?
Pull!
Can I have a go now, Dad?
No. Not after last time.
Dad, trespassers.
Not trespassers, you nong! That's George and his boy.
- G'day, George. - Bill.
I'm sorry to interrupt.
Not at all. Fancy taking a pot?
Oh, no, I'm good, thanks. Have you got a minute?
For you, many minutes.
What brings you all the way up here?
The museum, actually.
Oh, yeah, what about it?
We've been lending a hand there...
Roped you in, did she?
Call it fate, if you like.
Anyway, I-I couldn't help noticing
that all the McNamara exhibits have been taken down.
As soon as I find another home they'll be out of that place.
Why?
Well, what did she tell you?
- Oh, not much. - That'd be a bloody first.
So I figured I'd speak to you.
George, let me ask you a question --
do you think that if I allow my family history
to be put on show for all and sundry,
that I should have some say in how we're being portrayed?
Sure.
Then let's just say that that woman
has caused this family enough hurt already,
without dragging my ancestors through the mud.
And we'll leave it at that, eh?
Pull!
Are you going out?
Museum committee meeting.
Since when have you been on that?
I'm not. I'm just helping out.
- Helping who? - Fiona.
- Busy Spice. - Sorry?
I've given them all names.
Busy Spice, Surfy Spice, Arty Spice and Teacher Spice.
Are there any others I've missed out on?
You're far too young to be referencing the Spice Girls.
- Yet somehow they fit. - I'm going to a meeting, Shay.
If we have to live here, we might as well get involved.
If? Does that mean there's still a chance we're leaving?
It means I'm going to a meeting.
Ah!
A quorum.
I'm not actually on the committee, remember.
All those in favour of George Turner being on the committee?
- Hm. - Passed unanimously.
Congratulations, George. Have a seat.
What happened to the rest of the committee?
Oh, um, apologies have been taken, excuses made,
useless lot that they are.
First item of business -- the wine and cheese fundraiser
to raise funds for the fundraiser.
Flyers dutifully delivered.
Good.
First problem --
we have no money to buy wine or cheese.
Seriously?
We never do, George.
But until this year,
we... we had a sponsor who paid for the wine and the cheese.
Big Mac.
What exactly is the story there?
You've spoken to him?
Yeah. I was intrigued.
Follow me.
Until recently, the brightest star in the McNamara galaxy
was Great-Great, um, Aunt Celia.
Because for many years after they arrived
the McNamaras were remarkably useless.
They lost more money than they made.
And then along came
this remarkable, staunch woman
who turned the family fortunes around
and kick-started what you see today.
And Big Mac has a problem with staunch women?
Well, yeah, but not with Celia.
He loves Celia.
Which is why when, a few months ago,
this turned up, the shit hit the fan.
That's Celia McNamara's journal,
bequeathed to the museum by a distant relative.
It shines a whole new light
on how Aunt Celia saved the family fortunes.
.. my hand and place it upon another tent,
one in his trousers.
I gasped, for he was truly a man.
- Oh, my God. - Yeah.
So, it turns out that Aunt Celia
did much of her best work flat on her back,
and other positions.
Yeah, well, I see why Big Mac wouldn't want this put about.
As it were.
But it's the truth.
Celia used her womanly charms
to cut the deals that made the McNamaras rich.
Shouldn't we be telling that truth?
Can I take this? And read it?
Sure.
You're on the committee now.
My favourite bit
is how she won over the dashing young journalist.
What are you reading?
Celia McNamara's journal.
- Well, can I read it? - When you're 18.
What? Why?
Go to bed, Arlo.
Go to bed.
You can capture a life in words.
Honest words, outlining a life of honest hard work.
And there are times...
.. when all this honesty
should never fall into the wrong hands.
Weirdo.
So, can you just give her a message for me?
OK, I guess.
- I need to talk to her. - Why?
I just do.
OK, yeah. Whatever.
You are so much like your Aunt Celia.
What did you just say?
I mean in looks, not in other ways.
Lindsay!
Hey, thanks, George.
Hey, I heard you're on the committee.
Wow, word really does get around.
So, is being on the committee
a part of the whole being ready thing?
Yeah. What if fate drove me to the museum that day?
Towards Fiona?
Whoo!
That'd be fate setting the bar pretty high for you, mate.
What do you mean?
That's for fate to say, not me.
But she is a ferociously attractive woman.
Yeah, luring you into her many worlds.
Hello?
George, it's Tracey.
Oh.
You calling me during school hours never ends well.
No, I'm afraid it doesn't.
What the hell is wrong with you, Lindsay, hey?
Have you not learnt a bloody thing from your brother?
Sorry, I came as quick as I could.
Oh, thanks for coming. Take a seat.
As you're aware,
this school has a zero-tolerance policy
when it comes to this kind...
Tracey, I'm halfway through a bloody bathroom fit-out, OK?
Lindsay knows the score.
She mucks up again, she's out of here,
like her bloody useless brother.
And if you're too thick to get that, too bad.
Now you can suffer the consequences.
Bill, I don't think we need to...
No, no, she's been warned, Tracey, she's had her chance.
No, it was... It was all my fault.
I was, um, I was making fun of Lindsay and her family,
and, well, New Zealand in general,
saying sheep jokes and stuff like that.
She asked me to stop and I kept going,
and so she slapped me,
but that was the right thing to do.
I would have slapped me
if I was me.
Get back to class, and try and stay out of trouble, alright?
- Was that true? - Yeah.
Because it didn't sound like you.
Yeah, I know.
I don't know what came over me.
Sorry.
I have to go to class.
Give me the name of the hussy who belted Arlo
and I will come over and belt her.
I knew I could count on you to be a calming influence.
You're too reasonable, George. She sounds like a little bitch.
I never said anything about her.
She hit Arlo. That is enough for me.
- How's my column? - Your column?
The one that's gonna fill the blank page I currently have.
It's coming. I have an idea.
- Do I get a clue? - I'm... still pursuing it.
Uh-huh.
OK, in part it's about righting the wrongs of history,
choosing the right words, and fate.
Good fate or bad fate?
What do you mean?
Fate goes both ways, George.
Well, good, I hope. Like I said, I'm still working on it.
And I'm doing my best to make sure everything works out
for the better, for all parties concerned.
Well, I very much look forward
to seeing how things turns out
for you and fate.
Yeah, me too.
I'm meeting a couple of people here.
OK.
And here's the third!
Thanks for coming.
Always happy to talk, George.
Fiona.
William.
Jolly good. So let's get on with it.
This is a cracker of a story that has to be told.
I agree.
With the appropriate sensitivity.
Censorship, you mean.
Before we get into all of that,
could we please just sit down?
Please?
Good. Thank you.
So, what we have here, we're all agreed,
is a story worth telling
and an empty museum to tell it in.
How do we get those things together?
By not slandering my family.
It's not slander if it's the truth.
Well, luckily, that's where I come in.
Because there is a way to tell both sides of the story.
These are the captions I've written
to go on display with the journal.
They tell the story of how
Celia was a woman ahead of her time,
with great business acumen,
who turned around the fortunes of the McNamara family
whilst still not being afraid to be a woman,
to allow herself to live a life
overflowing with companionship and friendship.
Some of my finest work.
Even if I do have to say so myself.
Pretty fancy words, George.
Pity they can't undo the past.
See?
See what I have to live with?
Hey.
Hey, I...
Look, this sucks.
Whatever I said, I'm sorry.
Why'd you do that?
What?
Stick up for me.
That's what a gentleman does, isn't it?
Weirdo.
At least she didn't hit you.
Hey, Arlo, you've read Celia's journal, right?
No.
It's OK. I know you have.
OK, then yeah.
Celia's life's a story that should be told, right?
You mean how she really liked sex?
More that she was a good businesswoman too, right?
You mean how she liked to have sex
with people who gave her money and land
and stuff like that?
No, no, just skipping over that bit.
She had this way of getting people to do what she wanted.
Yeah. By having sex with them.
You know what? Never mind.
That's good, 'cause this was starting to get a bit weird.
Yeah.
Thank you.
- Can I ask you a question? - Sure.
Why have I been wasting my time with this whole Celia thing
when it's really not about her at all?
My ex-husband was...
.. is Big Mac's son.
- Which one? - You haven't met him.
Oh.
Robert.
Robbie.
He's not around anymore, and it didn't end well.
Well, I get that.
I don't get on that well with my in-laws either.
Bet you've got nothing on me.
And that is something that I would love to discuss with you
at a wine and cheese evening.
If we had some wine and cheese, that is.
I see what you're doing there.
So, why let your history stand in the way of actual history?
I'm not. He is. He's the one that took his toys away.
Therefore I'm giving you the opportunity
to prove that you're better than him.
To rise above it. For the greater good.
I'm all about the greater good, me.
So you like my captions then?
I love your captions.
Then what's stopping us?
Apart from the actual wine and cheese.
Of course I believe in the greater good, George.
Everything I do is for the greater good.
That's what I thought.
Then why ask me?
Just checking.
- What's this? - The Celia captions I wrote.
Fiona signed off on them. Literally.
Turns out you both believe in the greater good.
So it's over to you whether the event is on or not.
Why me?
Well, you're the man who pays for all the wine and cheese.
I always bloody have.
Why should this year be any different?
Hey, looking pretty sharp, Mr T.
Thanks, Woody. You're looking pretty sharp yourself.
So, you ready?
Am I dressed? Yes.
Am I ready?
Only time will tell.
Nice suit.
Finest Stafford has to offer.
Woody, can I have a word with my dad?
Yeah, yeah. Go for your life.
Shouldn't you be changed?
- Do I have to? - Well, I'm paying you.
- So, what's the plan? - What do you mean?
Who are you gonna hit on first?
- I'm not gonna hit on anyone. - What if they hit on you?
- Well, that's not gonna happen. - What if it does?
Well, what if it does?
Come on, you tell me, you tell me what I'm supposed to do.
I'm single, I like women, I like these women.
- Dad, it's less than a year! - Don't you think I know that?
What I don't know is how soon is too soon.
This. This feels too soon.
Shay, your mum is alive in my memory every day.
That is not going to change.
Maybe that's why it feels too soon.
You need to get changed.
I am...
.. ready.
You should be paying us twice what you are.
We agreed the fee. Be happy.
Dressed like this? Impossible.
Ripper.
Oh, what did you do that for?
For the social pages.
No! Just no.
Hallelujah, the saviour of the wine and the cheese is here.
Well, I wouldn't go that far.
I would, and further.
You two look fantastic. Thanks for volunteering.
We couldn't really say no.
Well, Lindsay will show you what to do.
- She's an old pro at this. - Great.
Come on. Get stuck in. It's not gonna drink itself.
OK, listen up.
It's real simple.
Just keep shoving wine at them, keep shoving cheese at them,
and when I give you the signal, get the hell out.
Why?
Just flee, if you know what's good for you.
The, uh, kids know to split when they get the nod, right?
Why would they need to do that?
George!
Hey, Zac.
- Are you ready? - For what?
For all that's about to happen.
At a wine and cheese evening?
Yes -- there's something about this night, George,
that makes the locals go crazy.
Especially the womenfolk. They go nuts.
You better watch yourself tonight, George.
Why?
Being the most eligible bachelor in town,
you are fair game.
♪ As the waves on a tide to the shore
♪ I've been holding you up so you'll go
♪ Just like the waves on a tide to the shore. ♪
This is very civilised.
Yeah, don't worry. That is gonna change.
- You ready? - Please stop asking me that.
OK.
You got roped in, eh?
Something like that.
Hey.
One year Fiona tried to get Ike
to be the Maori dress-up warrior.
He gave her this big speech
about cultural this and inappropriate that.
He used some pretty big words for a 12-year-old.
He's got principles, that boy, I'll give him that.
William, welcome.
Fiona.
Hope I'm not too late.
Right on time, as usual.
Grab a wine, some cheese,
before we begin the formalities.
I might just do that.
G'day, Celia. Ha!
Still a bit sensitive about that, I see.
Yeah.
Mate, you've done a great job.
You have no idea how long it took us to find two pages
of her journal we could display to the public.
Flick over the page -- Celia's take on race relations.
Oh, jeez!
Ladies and gentlemen, if I could have your attention...
You, um...
Oi!
Oh.
Just like to welcome you all, again,
to our annual pre-fundraiser fundraiser.
Thank you for you donations thus far
in terms of your tickets,
and we look forward to plenty more across the evening,
in terms of actual donations to the donations box.
We accept cheques, except from Monty.
And now let me introduce
the man without whom any of this would be possible --
our patron and number one benefactor, William McNamara.
Thank you, Fiona.
And, as always, top work on the evening.
Big round of applause for Fiona, ladies and gentlemen.
- As you know... - OK, that's the signal.
What?
.. McNamara family has always been a proud sponsor...
When Grandpa starts speaking we dump the trays,
and then it's everyone for themselves.
But this year we're doubly proud
because this year we get to celebrate the life
of one of our most revered ancestors,
Great-Great-Great-Great -- Aunt Celia.
.. the best way she knew how.
Oh. I'm... I'm sorry. I didn't realise anyone...
Oh, hi! Don't be.
Rule number one of these nights?
Always hide the good stuff.
His sanctimony goes on for ages, trust me.
Anyway, this will give us a chance.
To what?
Well, to have that conversation you mentioned, of course.
So what are we meant to do now?
Get far away, if you're wise.
I-I didn't like the way your dad spoke to you.
That's why I took the blame.
Hurry up, Lindsay!
Whatever.
What are you doing?
Leaving.
- That's not your bike. - I'll bring it back.
Are you going home?
What should I tell Dad?
Don't tell him anything. Not that I think he'll care.
We should really get back out there.
- Not yet. - You won't be missed?
Well, maybe we'll both be missed
and people will start talking.
Yeah, I'm getting used to that.
So you wouldn't mind?
If it was us that they were talking about?
If you'd asked me that question about half an hour ago,
I would have said no, not at all.
What changed?
I just realised. I'm... I'm not ready.
- Ready for what? - Someone new in my life.
A relationship. Whatever you want to call it.
I'm sorry.
What makes you think that I wanna be in a relationship
or whatever you want to call it?
Oh.
I think I might have just made a huge mistake.
Well, to be fair,
it's a mistake I was thinking of making as well.
Oh.
What stopped you?
Oh, too much emotional baggage.
Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
No, not you. I mean me.
My ex-husband...
.. is in prison...
..'cause I put him there.
'Cause he was an abusive drug-dealing prick.
So I called the police and I testified against him.
And 'cause he's the golden boy who can do no wrong,
I have yet to be forgiven for my treachery.
You're not the only one with emotional baggage, George.
Yes, I tend to forget that.
To be fair,
dead wife's quite a lot of emotional baggage, isn't it?
Yeah, but the ex-husband prison thing
is also not a small thing.
I'm sorry, I'm so out of practice with all this...
Me too.
Hey.
Sorry it's late.
No, that's... that's OK.
You want to come in?
It was nothing you said.
Well, it was, a bit, but...
.. mainly it was all about me.
I don't want another mother.
I don't want Dad to move on.
Not yet.
Not when I still think about Mum every single day.
Hey.
Too much has changed too fast, and I hate it...
.. because I can't change it.
And that's why I took it out on you.
Because I like you.
Really like you.
And if we...
If we, you know...
.. then that's another change.
That's another commitment to here.
It's another gap between me and the past.
Between me and Mum.
God, that sounds so stupid.
I'm sorry.
Don't be.
Maybe you need to look at things different.
That it's fun, that it's... that it's good,
that it helps you get over the past.
And that I really, really like you too.
Really, really?
I can put in more reallys if you want.
You don't have to.
Are you sure?
I am now.
Um... Mm...
Hurry up!
Come on. They'll have reached it by now.
Reached what?
The slippery slope.
If it's any consolation, George, at the right time...
.. I could fill my life with a man like you.
Well,
your life seems full enough as it is.
Well, exactly.
♪ Let's go all the way
♪ Tonight's the night
♪ All rock until the break of day
♪ Let's go all the way
♪ Let go, you know
♪ I don't care what the neighbours say
♪ Let's go all the way
- ♪ Tonight's the night... ♪ - See what I mean?
♪ All rock until the break of day
♪ Let's go all the way
♪ Let go, you know
♪ I don't care what the neighbours say. ♪
She biked home? How?
On Lindsay's bike.
Are you sure you're alright with this?
All good, for tonight
I am the taxi driver.
'Cause we don't have an actual taxi driver.
And it saves on paperwork in the long run.
You gonna be alright by yourself, Dad?
Sure.
I'll help clean up here and I'll see you there.
You want the flashing lights on?
I'll be OK, thanks.
Hi!
Some of us are going for a night surf later.
Do you wanna come?
Well, you don't think I can surf during the day.
Uh... I'll save you.
Maybe some other time.
OK. Definitely some other time.
Whoo-hoo!
George!
Do you know that, despite all the fights,
you have the best kids?
Thank you.
And I think the father has something to do with it.
Well, thank you.
Do you wanna come for a post-party drink at my place?
Uh, no, I think I should get home, you know?
- The kids. - Right.
- Some other time. - Some other time.
Dance with me, George!
- I'm not a dancing person. - I bet you are on the inside.
Not on any side. Goodnight, Katie.
- The night is young, George. - Not for me.
One day, you and me, we will dance.
One day.
Hey.
So, were you ready?
No.
Yeah.
Figured not.
- Hey, wait. - I have to go.
I know.
Get your hands off me, Tom.
It's not funny, Monty!
It's not funny.
Have you got the keys? I can't find the keys.
You sure you're gonna be alright with this lot?
No worries.
Then I'll probably stake out the billboard for a bit.
They'll probably strike tonight.
While everyone's distracted.
- Good luck with that. - What about you?
You OK?
Oh, I'm a work in progress.
I mean to drive.
Oh! Yeah, sorry. One drink, all night.
Be a record for this do.
Huh.
Oh! Oop!
George!
- Fiona. Ooh. - You're still here.
Yeah.
I, um, sleep in the ambulance after events like this.
Just makes it a bit more efficient
when I go to tidy up in the morning.
Care to join me?
What happened to not being ready?
Yeah, but that's before I had a lot of wine.
Oh, well, never mind.
Here, you alright?
Up you get.
You're a wonderful man.
And... and you are a remarkable woman.
I know.
Down you go.
Oh.
No cougars in tow?
No.
Aw. No takers?
Something like that.
Also not ready.
It's Mum's birthday soon.
Yeah, I know.
We should do something.
Yeah, we should.
I hope tonight wasn't too horrible.
It was OK.
'Night.
Goodnight.
"In the cold, hard light of day,
"when words have failed you,
"I think it was the Dalai Lama
"who said that silence is the best answer...
".. because that sounds like the sort of thing he'd say.
"And he'd be right."
Ally-oopa!
"Silence is the best answer.
"Because maybe,
"at the beginning and the end of the day,
"you get to the point where it's time
"to let the words go
"and just get on with living."