Woman: Tavi, I can't believe you just did that.
Tavi: Well, he-- I told you! (slaps)
Stacy: All right, forget it. We're going.
Come on, Elexa, let's go.
(girl crying)
Woman: You have to maintain yourself.
Tavi: Don't ever bring your son here.
(crying continues)
Shut up! (crying)
Hey! I'm upset! I'm upset!
I don't care! You don't hit her!
Really! No, 'cause you don't know what the fuck is why!
Damn it! Stop it!
(crying continues) Stop!
Now! Ow. Stop.
'Cause I'm not in a good mood... Okay!
...is the hell why. (screams)
Stop! Stop.
Oh my God. Elexa!
Damn it, Ethan, knock it-- knock it off now. Now!
No, don't. No, Ethan! Why don't you guys get the fuck outta here, dumbass!
I'll kick your ass! Shh! God damn it. Stop.
Stacy: ...hit the chair with? Ethan: Shut up!
(Elexa crying)
Stacy: What did you do that for?
Stop! Ethan: I'm upset!
Okay. You can be angry at Uncle Tavi.
You don't need to be angry at Elexa.
Ethan: Because I'm not in a fricking asshole mood.
Stacy: Okay, but she didn't do anything--
Ethan: I'm not in a fricking asshole mood!
(crying)
♪ ♪
(whines)
(crying)
Liza Long: I'd been trying for years to get help for my son.
I... I was desperate,
and I thought I was the only mother in the entire world
who felt the way I did, the only mom.
How can I not get my child help?
Surely all the other mothers
are getting their child help.
Why not me? What's wrong with me?
Creigh Deeds: You know, I used to worry that--
that Gus was gonna wind up at a jail or a hospital
or-- or homeless.
Um, all of those would be preferable
to the situation I'm in now.
If a state senator,
um, someone who's run for governor,
whose name's been in every paper of the commonwealth--
if I can't get the help,
what does that say about ordinary people?
We don't treat mental illness the way we treat other diseases,
and so the care is just not available.
(Elexa crying)
(crying continues) Stacy: All right.
Thomas Insel: Somebody once said that a serious mental illness
is any mental illness that affects somebody you love.
And in a way, there's something to that.
♪ ♪
I'm not in a good mood!
Thomas: For people who have serious mental illness and who are not treated,
there's a tendency to violence,
especially towards the people that they're closest to
and, most of all, towards themselves.
And only about half of the children who have a mental disorder
are going to receive any kind of care whatsoever.
♪ ♪
(rain pattering)
All I get is people that want to just sit there and lecture me.
I need to do this. "Do you understand that your son's gonna do this
and that your son is this way? Do you understand?"
As if I'm in denial of something,
as if I might be able to get some extra help, but I'm just not wanting to.
And it is so frustrating and so exhausting.
I can only stick to my guns so far, Tavi,
because it becomes too dangerous,
and that is why you're right. Giving in to him in the end-- in the end
isn't the best idea, because it does make him more manipulative
and more worse. Yes, but not giving into him when he's really persistent
is also just as dangerous.
And that is why the behaviorist already said
that he doesn't believe that-- anything I can do at this point,
he doesn't believe there are any consequence--
he doesn't believe I can do anything, myself, at this point.
You think that-- Tavi, you think that,
but I hate to say it, you think that, but it isn't same.
You can train a dog easier that a child like this.
(scoffs)
Stacy: When he started being aggressive,
he was only about two and a half, three. I was worried then.
You ask a doctor, they can't tell you what he'll be capable of.
They don't know where he's gonna go or what direction he's gonna take.
(sighs) I just can't help myself, 'cause...
it's just what I usually do.
I don't know how to control my anger.
(mumbles) Gosh, only if someone was a lifeguard.
Man: What'd you say?
I said if only there was a lifeguard who could...
help me...
try to control myself.
'Cause you know lifeguards are good, right?
Yeah, they save everyone, even when they drown.
♪ ♪
(kids chattering)
Boy: No.
Cora: Vontae is 12.
Well, he'll be 12 in October.
(gunfire)
Cora: In the beginning, he was talking about he just wanted to die.
Now he's talking about hurting other people.
He don't express himself verbally,
but he's real good expressing himself at writing.
So if he gets upset, and I'll go in the room
and I'll see all these signs all over the bed--
"I hate myself," "I can't control myself,"
and just stuff like, "I'm no good,"
and "I'm better off dead," and stuff like that.
I don't never take stuff like that as just talk.
I feel like if it's in you and you saying it, then it's a possibility.
That's how I feel.
'Cause why would you say something like that?
♪ ♪
I'm just doing my part on my end
to make sure he knows that I love him
and to know that I'm there for him.
♪ ♪
At the time of the school shootings,
my son had been in an acute care psychiatric hospital for two days.
Newswoman: It is the scene of one of the worst school shootings in the history
of the United States, and we can report to you
that police have now identified
a school shooter as Adam Lanza.
Newswoman 2: Police are trying to determine a motive.
They say the shooter killed his mother,
then broke into Sandy Hook Elementary Friday morning,
killing 20 children and six women
using an assault-style rifle.
Newsman: Even before the shooting,
Adam Lanza, seen here in a photo taken seven years ago,
was known in the neighborhood as a troubled child,
with an overbearing mother.
My son played with him when they were young,
and... in her home, I know she was very particular.
I just think she...
maybe had too high of standards or something.
Liza: That day of Newtown...
something broke. I...
I sat down, and I wrote my truth,
the truth that my family was living-- that I was living--
that I was afraid of my son.
And the mother of a mentally-ill child
getting backlash for a blog posting with the title,
"I am Adam Lanza's Mother." The post went viral.
In it, Liza Long says her aim was to describe the challenge
or raising a child who she says is seriously disturbed.
Most people with autism
and most people with schizophrenia
are not inherently dangerous,
but we do ourselves a grave disservice
if we deny the fact that some people
in these communities behave in ways that are traumatic,
and I think we need to support their families.
Liza: I knew right where the dialog was gonna go.
They were gonna say, "This was Nancy Lanza's fault.
"Why didn't she get her son help?
Why didn't she this? Why didn't she that?"
But I felt immense empathy for Nancy Lanza.
Andrew: I think people insist on the narrative of blame.
In part, because they want to believe
that these things were caused by poor parenting,
because if it's caused by poor parenting,
then you can know that you're a good parent and it won't happen to you,
and I think that's a false comfort.
Alison: Where is he going? I'm going to the room.
Stacy: Let's go upstairs and play with Ethan.
Stacy: Can you...? Okay.
Alison: You want me to go with you? All right.
Stacy: Elexa, come upstairs.
Murray, out. (clicks tongue) Go.
Murray's a good boy. (Murray whines)
All right, well, then you keep him contained.
You're the good boy.
Alison: You wanna sit down, Ethan?
Really-- he really bothers everyone.
Stacy: No, he's not bothering everybody.
I know, but he-- see-- Elexa: Hi!
Will you just tell Murray to leave?
(rock music plays) Oh my God!
I love this song!
Alison: You like Ozzy? No, I like this song.
What song is this? Alison: It's Ozzy.
No, it's-- Man: Pink Floyd.
Stacy: It's Pink Floyd. I was gonna say this is Pink Floyd.
Alison: Yeah, I was thinking of another song.
Oh yeah, I-I-I-- I love this song.
Alison: Is this Is this Dark Side of the Moon? Seriously, I like this song.
No, not the Dark Side. No, shush, you guys. I like this song.
Alison: She just wants you guys to listen. Shut up.
Elexa: Stop! Stacy: Stop.
Shut up, Elexa! Stacy: Stop. We're not gonna yell.
All right? I hate her! That's why.
Stacy: That's your sister-- Shut up!
I will kill you!
Ethan, do you wanna go outside, honey?
Shut up! (women chatter)
God damn it, I will-- I'm gonna--
I'm gonna fricking punch you, Elexa, if you don't... stop.
No, you stop it! Stop. Now.
Stacy: Elexa. Elexa, move.
Ethan: Whatever! Go! Go! Go! Stacy: Stop.
Stacy: Damn it. Ethan: I don't want to be touched!
(Elexa whimpers)
(sighs)
Stacy: I just can't handle this.
Eth?
(sighs) I don't know what to say.
One wrong word sends me into a psychotic rage
where I've got no control over myself,
and it's like... watching myself...
do things that I didn't want to do.
And then afterwards, I-- I either completely forgot,
like I'd block all the memories,
because it was too painful to remember,
or I would remember and that would be even more painful,
because I would have memories of myself doing it,
even though I didn't want to, even though I had no control,
I still accused myself of doing it.
(channels switching)
There's just been countless episodes with him,
and I just see, uh, the anger and the, um...
the violence getting progressively worse.
Can he turn to family? Well, sure,
but when he acts like that, no.
I can't have my child exposed to that,
and I have to be protective of my child.
I think my-- my nephew needs professional help.
I don't even know if it's anything Stacy can do anymore.
I can't keep defending him.
I can't-- I can defend him so far,
but I can't expect the rest of the world
to not get upset or just forgive him or just deal with it.
I can't expect that, I never did.
He constantly threatens he's going to kill somebody,
and when people hear that, it sends them into a mode.
You don't know if he's serious.
If somebody comes up to you and gets mad at you
and tells you, "I'm gonna effing kill you.
I'm gonna beat your ass. I'm gonna find a gun and shoot you,"
whether he would do it or not, you don't know.
But the fact that somebody would say that to you,
and you're sitting there wondering, "Are they capable of it?"
"Mom! Come here!"
"Hold on!"
"Mom!"
"Be quiet, Ethan!"
"No, you!" (grunts)
And he hits me, and he pulls my hair...
and he kicks me...
and he...
pulls my arm...
to the wall,
and he pushes me to the wall.
And...
he beats me up...
like that.
And one time...
um, Josh, my mom's boyfriend,
he got really mad at him--
Ethan, he got really mad at him, and so...
um, Josh has guns that he hides only from bad guys,
and Ethan found one, so he picked it up.
And it had no bullets in it,
but he picked it up.
The very last thing that I want to do,
that any parent wants to do,
especially at 10 years old,
is think about or have to put their child in a...
in an institution or in a home,
to give him up.
That's not what I want to do,
but I am at the point, and it is as bad
that if-- if nothing else,
I don't know that I have a choice.
It's becoming more than a safety issue.
I have a daughter. I have to protect her, and I can't.
♪ ♪
Creigh: The whole deinstitutionalization process was driven by two things:
One, we wanted to save money,
and, second, we wanted to restore people's civil rights
and treat them in the community.
Well, we closed the institutions down,
but we didn't really adequately follow through
with ensuring that there are adequate supports in the community.
And the problem is we don't--
we just don't have enough beds right now.
Thomas: We went from about 600,000 beds,
today there are less than 60,000 public beds
for people with serious mental illness.
It's raised the question about, "Does there need to be a new kind of institution?"
Maybe not like the old asylums, but places where
kids, young adults, or even older adults could go for short periods of time
to get more comprehensive care.
I think there aren't enough options available to people.
There is the sense that rehabilitation
is a luxury for people who have a lot of money
or who live in states in which there are
particularly good programs because we have regional networks,
and in some places there's rehabilitation
and in some places there's almost none.
(door closes)
William. This is the first time that I've gotten a chance to meet with you in...
we determined the other day, like since January. Like months.
Yeah, months.
Gosh, you have had a really...
a very busy year, huh? William: Rough time.
It has been a rough time. It's been a really rough time.
Uh-huh. Yeah.
Man: And you really wanna get back
to kind of a more normal life, huh?
Yeah. Why can't I? Man: Yeah.
Well, you know what? That's a very good question. Edie: Yeah.
Brian: I met William at the age of 12.
He has a mild intellectual disability,
and also, in addition, a mild autism spectrum disorder.
He's also diagnosed with a schizoaffective disorder,
and that is the condition where he can,
especially when really emotional
and really elevated, and...
well, we also say dysregulated...
he can really start to lose touch with reality
and have some pretty delusional thinking,
can experience auditory hallucinations.
Since January, you've been down to...
William: It was first Children's Hospital, and then Jefferson Hills,
and then Denver Children's Home,
and then Denver Health, and then El Pueblo.
Brian: Wow. That's a lot. (chuckles)
Yeah, that's been a rough time, hasn't it?
Yeah. Brian: Yeah.
Yeah. William: 'Cause I wasn't eating anything at all.
Mm-hmm. I was getting skinny to the point of mal--
All I was doing was watching my videos,
staying up all night. I was in horrible shape.
By the time I got there, they noticed I was skinny--
dangerously skinny to the point of malnutrition.
Mm-hmm. What was going on
that made all of those trips to Children's Hospital
and El Pueblo and Denver Children--
why were all those places necessary?
'Cause my behavior went downhill.
Yeah, what kind of behavior?
Damaging property.
Cops had to come over. Brian: Yeah.
I was constantly kicking and screaming and hitting.
Brian: Yeah. Yeah.
I was scared to death.
We end up calling the police when he is so out of control
that he's not listening to reason anymore
and he's becoming, um...
dangerous to himself or us.
Or his sister.
And so, when he starts throwing lamps
or throwing the TV or things like that,
then we have to call the police.
So, remember when we, um, when we were at Children's?
William: Yeah. And we said from Children's,
we were probably gonna step down to a residential? Yeah.
And then work our way home? Yeah.
So, we started that process when we were at Children's. Yeah.
And when you got out of Children's, the home wasn't ready.
Yeah. It became ready.
What do you mean? That the home that's right before
you staying home with us is ready for you now.
(gasps) Brian: It's available.
And it's-- a good thing. I'm going?
Yeah. It's the best thing for right now.
It's the step down from going to Children's
to staying home... full-time.
Okay. Okay? And it's really close to home, William.
Man: It's very close to home. What is it?
It's a-- it's a house. You have your own bedroom.
What is it? It's a home.
William: I don't wanna go.
What-- what is it that you are worried about?
I'll behave at home. I've been doing great.
I really don't-- You have been doing really well...
Brian: You've been doing better.
...but there's still some things that need to mature and get completely safe.
Question. Brian: Yes.
Why are you trying to make my parents more strict with me?
Brian: Strict? Am I trying to make them more strict?
Yeah. What does strict mean?
What are they doing that mean-- that's strict?
I don't know, but-- but you've been doing this
since we've started seeing you.
Yeah. Can you tell me why?
Brian: This is big news, huh?
Yeah. I'll do anything not to go.
Brian: You've been working really, really hard.
Edie: We know you've been working hard, William,
and I know your intention is to behave.
There's just still some things that you can't quite help,
and they're there to help you with that. I don't wanna go.
I'm gonna ask you to do something, okay? What?
I want you to trust us...
'cause right now...
you-- Don't make me go.
I want you to just trust that we're making the best decision.
I'm gonna act up there and get restrained.
Edie: This is the step that we need to take
to get home. (whimpers)
Okay? We're almost there.
Brian: And use your skills right now, okay?
'Cause we want you to remain safe. Yeah.
We'll just give him a little bit of a break.
That's a lot. Let him digest a little bit. Yeah.
(indistinct chatter)
He needs somebody there 24 hours a day
to help him through the emotional roller coasters he goes through.
You know, we can only do so much.
We have... you know, work, and we have a daughter,
and other things to tend to, and, um...
He needs this amount of care right now.
Residential treatment is, sometimes, the only option,
and I think the hard part for parents--
I've watched some of my own friends go through this--
is to accept it again,
to say, "No, this isn't that you were a bad parent.
This is the appropriate treatment for your child."
In the very worst cases, sometimes states will require you...
Nobody likes to hear this.
Sometimes states will require you to sign
your child over to the state, so you're--
You're giving up your child,
just so your child can get care.
♪ ♪
(indistinct chatter)
I'm here, and we wanted an update on that case you talked about.
Our bureau responds to all
the critical incidents in LA County.
The most commonly known thing that we have
is our psychiatric mobile response team,
which provides evaluations of individuals
who are suicidal, homicidal, or gravely disabled.
(woman speaks on phone)
Tony: But he's also talking about killing himself, right?
Woman: Yeah, yeah. No, no. Yeah, he's--
Hi, Ms. Cora. How you doing? Hi. Fine.
Can I come in? Yes, come in.
Great, great, great.
This is Vontae.
What's his first name? Vontae, with a "V."
Vontae, how you doing? Mm-hmm.
Tony: Do you know who I am? No.
Never met me. Me neither. My name's Tony.
Well, the reason we came by is that
we're really, uh, interested in what's going on with you
and trying to figure out how we can help you and your mom.
Maybe we can start by you telling me,
what's going on. Nothing.
Everything's okay? Mm-hmm.
Well, that's not what we heard, and that's why we're here.
I feel like he's a kid with so much bottled up inside of him,
so much anger, and some of the things he writes in the letters
and on the paper is saying, "Okay, something is wrong. I need some help.
There is something going on with me. Somebody please help me."
Tony: Yeah, your mom said that you got a lot of anger inside.
You think that's what it is? Vontae: No.
I ain't got no anger. Tony: What do you think it is?
I don't know. Tony: Maybe a lot of hurt?
Probably. Tony: Yeah, miss daddy?
Yeah, of course. Tony: Yeah.
That's tough, you know? You've been through a lot.
What-- what worries you the most?
(sighs) You know, what worries me the most is...
I don't want...
to see him on the news as one of those kids
that didn't get the help that he was supposed to get
and-- and it leads to destruction.
Just-- that's what I don't want to happen.
I mean, that's what I'm afraid of.
(chattering)
Cora: He didn't really know his father,
but I think his father has such a great impact on me and the kids.
(kids chattering)
Cora: Well, it wasn't a shoot-out. The police shot him,
though he wasn't-- he didn't have no gun.
His father went to the fish market
on Crenshaw and... Manchester,
and I guess he fit one of the profiles of a gang member,
and they had him-- had him get against the car,
had his hands on the car,
and he turned around and told them that-- he didn't like wearing belts.
And he was a pretty big man, so they told him--
Well, he was telling them that he needed to pull his pants up.
And when he pulled 'em--
when he was reaching to pull his pants up,
I guess they thought he had a gun, and then they started shooting.
And then when they went to look, it wasn't a gun.
He was pulling up his pants, and he was like-- he was--
he had some alcohol in a bag,
but it wasn't alcohol, it was a soda.
And...
He does have a lot of strikes against him,
so there's no doubt about that.
But the question becomes, what can we wrap around him,
so that he can have the right kind of guidance
as things get a little more complicated?
Well, he has the predisposition of substance abuse as well.
Tony: Yeah, the whole thing. He's got everything.
So, he's got the dad's death in his head
and the ultimate solution-- suicide by cop. Right? Mm-hmm.
You know, one of the things that we are going to push
is for-- in September, for a more...
I would say, comprehensive assessment of Vontae.
I don't know if there's some kind of psychosis or not.
Right now, he's got the diagnosis of bipolar,
but, you know, it's still something that
they really need to tease out.
Edie: Hey, William. William: What?
What? I've been doing so good at home! You're being unreasonable!
Bill: William. Hey. It's only-- Edie: Okay.
Why do you want me to go so bad?
Be re-- be-- Negotiate!
I've been doing so good at home!
(Bill speaks indistinctly)
William: Yes. Yes.
I'm not going.
No, you're-- (spits)
No.
(sighs)
We know this, that illnesses
that involve psychosis,
where people become irrational,
they may become frightened,
they may become highly, highly paranoid--
they can be dangerous.
That's part of the disorder.
We understand that.
That's why it's so important that they be treated,
because when they are treated,
there is a profound reduction in risk.
And in fact, at that point, it's much more likely,
they're going to be hurt by somebody else
rather than them hurting somebody else.
(William screaming) I thought I was staying home!
William. (screaming)
Call the cops, have them come over and take me.
Okay, you don't have to do that.
Aah! I thought I was staying home!
William. I thought I was staying home!
Let me stay home or I'll start threatening to hurt myself!
(screaming)
Don't take me. Edie: I can't drive with you like that.
(William crying) Edie: The police are here.
(siren wailing)
(crying continues)
I wanna live at home! I wanna be at home!
Edie: Help! I wanna be at home!
I miss home! I wanna be at home!
I wanna be at home!
I wanna live at home!
Officer: Come here, buddy. (William crying)
Liza: I can tell you there's nothing harder
than watching your 11-year-old child
be handcuffed and pushed into the back of a police car...
because of what you know...
is just a behavioral symptom.
I can't tell you how many parents have described to me
having to call the police on their kids
and have said to me, "It was the hardest, saddest thing
"that I ever had to do in my life.
"To call the police to come in to discipline my own child,
whom I couldn't control felt to me like the biggest failure I had ever known."
♪ ♪
(William crying)
(crying)
♪ ♪
I mean, this has been just about every month for--
I don't know-- almost a year now.
And Bill's going there, and then I'm gonna...
take over for Bill. We do shifts, so...
he'll stay with him in ER,
until I get there, and then I'll relieve him for a few hours,
so that he can get a little bit of work done.
When puberty hit, he just went into mental illness.
It was more a mix between autism...
and anxiety disorders and things like that,
and then somewhere around puberty, he started hearing voices.
And, um, pretty scary voices, actually,
like telling him...
"I want you to do what James Holmes did."
William is fascinated with James Holmes.
He's fascinated with the story.
I think it scares him, because he stayed at Children's Hospital,
and he knew that James Holmes lived nearby.
And, um...
and I think in a way, he's kind of testing
to see-- is he as bad as James Holmes?
'Cause he's asked that a few times.
"Am I as bad as him? Am I gonna end up like him?"
Newsman: His hair still bright orange,
James Holmes stared blankly and yawned in court today
where, for the first time, his lawyers claimed he is mentally ill.
The past several weeks have seen
another deadly outbreak of mass shootings,
part of an epidemic of senseless violence
that's now occurring on a regular basis.
It's become harder and harder to ignore the fact
that the majority of the people pulling the triggers
have turned out to be severely mentally ill.
There's every reason to think that there's something
about the way the brain's functioning
that leads to the symptoms that you see.
That's important to us, because what we've learned
in the case of heart disease is
that you have to get past the symptoms
You have to begin to look at the mechanisms of disease.
It's like giving painkillers to someone who's got chest pain.
You can give them a way to relieve the short-term pain,
but what you really wanna do is figure out what's wrong with their heart
and figure out how to make sure
that they're getting the best heart function possible.
The same can be said for mental illness.
(rock music plays on computer)
(gunfire, explosions)
(TV playing indistinctly)
I'm going to be meeting with the case manager
and the two people from the program.
Just-- it's a meet-and-greet pretty much.
They're gonna come over, tell me about the program,
what to expect, what's gonna be going on.
I mean, I would like if you guys would look at his medicines,
and if you felt like you might want to try something else,
whether it'd even be with the ADHD--
'cause it's like, I-- For a long time, I guess I was hoping
there'd be a medicine that would fix it.
When people are like, "Abilify has this calming nature and da-da-da."
When I don't see that, I'm like, "How do I know if it's working?
"I don't know. Is he supposed to be breaking his doors
and having these meltdowns?"
Right. I-- I don't know.
Ethan has attention deficit disorder,
hyperactive attention deficit disorder, ADHD,
and oppositional defiance disorder, known as ODD,
and with the underlying diagnosis of autism--
so he's on the spectrum.
He's high-functioning but just on the spectrum.
It's almost like I kind of feel like at times,
I forced the other symptoms into play with the doctor,
saying, "Look, obviously, there's something else going on."
Like right now, they say they won't diagnose him with bipolar, he's too young,
but even if, he's on meds that are--
that people with bipolar would take.
It's almost like a Ouija board experience, right?
Where you take your child into the specialist, it's like, "Ooh!"
They interview him for a while, they give him a bunch of little tests,
and then I don't know, they're like, "Ooh!
Oppositional defiance disorder! That's what it is today."
You're like, "Okay, what do we do for that?"
"Well, we're gonna take this drug and this drug and this drug,"
And my child-- I think he'd been on 12 or 13 different drugs,
again, by the time he was 12 years old.
A lot of these medications aren't tested in children,
many of 'em are off-label--
sometimes they're like for blood pressure or something--
and that's a frightening experience for a parent.
At this point, a lot of the time,
someone guesses at a diagnosis, medicates for it,
"Oh, the medication didn't work,
therefore you probably don't have that syndrome. Let's try another one."
And it feels like the child is a dartboard,
and you're sitting there thinking, "We'll throw this. We'll throw that.
Oh, look, that one seems to help. Okay, I guess he must have this,"
and the diagnosis is the result of a medication response
rather than the basis for the assignment of a medication.
Hey, Ethan. Hey, why don't you sit down?
They're gonna leave soon. We want to tell you something.
I wanna go. I wanna leave. Wait, wait, we want to talk--
No, I need to talk to you about something with them.
Sit down. I want to use my Wii.
Okay, I'll tell you what. You can, but first they're gonna leave,
and we need to talk to you about something important,
so could you just sit down?
I wanna go on a ride. Okay. Listen. Listen.
Listen, first let me talk to you.
So, these are gonna be your new counselors.
Okay? And then-- this is the thing, honey--
you're gonna start seeing them next Monday, but...
they are actually in Lakewood,
which is past Tacoma, okay?
And you're gonna go and stay with them for a while.
Stay with them? Like, live with them.
They're gonna try and help you...
control those anger problems you have...
'cause you always say you want to try and control yourself,
and you don't know how, and they're gonna try to help you.
So you're gonna stay there for a while.
'Cause they're just helping. They are,
so you're gonna live with them for a couple months.
All right. Wait. Is there gonna be everyone?
No. It's not a hospital. It's a house.
Man: It's a nice house.
Woman: It's a very nice house.
So do you think you are gonna be...
a big boy and you're gonna let them help you?
I'm gonna take you to this place, okay?
What? To their place.
Next Monday. Next Monday.
You're gonna start living there for a little while.
Until three months?
Or six. We don't know.
Is it days? It depends on you. No, months.
Like 90 days to 180 days.
All right.
Yeah, I don't think it's really sinking in,
but at least he's taking it pretty well.
Woman: That's good.
Mitch's dog...
is always in trouble.
So, this poor thing is always staying at Red Hill.
This is the facility that Mitch's dog is in.
He has all these reports...
for all the people that come in here.
He processes his experiences,
so, um, and how he does that is he role-plays.
So he's made this into a residential facility,
and the dog, you know, needs to fill this out--
name, gender, age, and why he's here.
And then sometimes they go to juvenile home,
sometimes they're going to Children's Hospital, things like that.
So he role-plays in order to process, I think.
♪ ♪
(sighs)
Hug? Here hug.
(indistinct chatter)
♪ ♪
(Ethan shouting) No! No!
No! Oh God. Ethan, knock it off.
Ethan! Oh my God! Stop!
(mutters) Shit. You bitch!
Knock it off now! You want me to turn around and pull your hair?
♪ ♪
You make me angry!
Stacy: Ethan. We're on the way to the place
you're going to be staying, you're not gonna see me for a long time,
and you want to act like this in the car? I don't want to see you.
You don't want to see me? Okay. Well, guess what.
You're not gonna get to, Ethan. Why don't you think about that?
♪ ♪
Look, Ethan, that's the house you're gonna stay at.
Stacy: Okay. (phone chimes)
Hey, Ken. This is Ethan.
Just trying to call you, 'cause today, I'm not being with Mom anymore,
and I'm not allowed to bring my electronics.
I-- I have to leave,
and I'm not gonna be with Mom anymore, maybe. Right.
I live so-- I live super far away,
with someone else,
and that's all I wanted to say. So, bye, Ken. I'm gonna miss you.
It's my turn.
(kissing) Mmm.
I love you and I'm gonna miss you so much. (Ethan cries) Me too.
I really am gonna miss you. You're my baby boy.
(Stacy coughs)
(sniffles)
(rock music plays on radio)
Hey, William. What?
Remember what I said. This is temporary.
Yeah. I'm gonna find a place for us, okay?
And...
Okay. You're gonna be fine. You've done this before.
Where is it? It's right here.
That it? Mm-hmm.
Look at me. It's gonna be fine.
Okay. Okay?
Gonna get out and walk around a little?
Can you come with me? Of course.
Okay. All right.
This isn't permanent, is it? No.
No. Not at all.
You are grieving, you know, not your child
so much as the dream associated with the child.
Definite feelings of guilt,
and then you play it over and over again,
and then you think about, "Okay, well, should we have not have gotten divorced?
"Should we have worked harder on our marriage?
Did that, you know, make it harder on him?"
So there was all these things along the way where it was like,
"If I had kept him on a steady diet,
"more holistic from the beginning,
"could this have been...
changed or the outcome could have been different?"
So...
As a parent, you will be blamed.
You'll be blamed for your child's struggles. You'll be told,
"Oh, you should just take parenting classes. That will fix it."
For decades, we claimed
that children developed autism
because they had cold refrigerator mothers
who are somehow pushing them into autism,
that they had schizophrenia because they had parents
who nurtured an unconscious wish that they not exist.
If we go back a few hundred years,
we insisted that parents caused dwarfism and other deformities
which were a manifestation of the mother's unexpressed lascivious longings.
And we've dropped the narrative of blame in all of those situations,
but we still blame parents when their children are deeply troubled,
and especially if they're deeply troubled in ways
that involve criminal or destructive behavior.
♪ ♪
Liza: If your child has cancer,
the whole community rallies around you,
but mental illness is not a casserole disease.
Nobody brings you a casserole when your child's in the acute care psychiatric hospital.
♪ ♪
Creigh: There was a time when you spoke only in hushed terms
of people with serious physical illnesses like cancer.
"She's got cancer, you know?"
And... today,
you know, anywhere you go,
somebody's having a fundraiser for somebody with cancer,
you know, we're having rallies. We're going things that are very, very in inspiring,
and people give great testimonials
about the way they fought battles and overcome
these serious physical ailments,
whether its cancer or diabetes
or-- or any sort of disease.
We need-- we need to do the same thing with mental illness.
♪ ♪
Cora: I would like to see him in some after-school programs.
I think he needs to be around other kids his age,
'cause he's never had anything like that.
I think he needs to be out more,
but I want him out with some structure.
I don't want to just-- I don't want him just out on the streets.
The reason I'm afraid is because before I got help
and before I got on medication, I was like that.
I would just snap and things would happen,
and I'm sitting in jail like...
"Wow. How did I get here?
How did this happen? What exactly did happen?"
Everything Vontae...
is going through, I've been through that,
and I'm still kind of going through it, you know, but I'm older now.
You know? I am-- I'm older now,
and he's still young, and I'm like,
"If I had've got the help at his age, I think I'd be okay today."
I think I'd be okay today, but I can't get...
his mental health team to step it up
or get him into some programs.
They not hearing me.
♪ ♪
"My name is..." Both: "Ethan..."
"And I am a great kid."
"Sometimes Mom, Dad or my teacher
"will tell me to clean up or do my work.
Sometimes they will tell me..."
Ethan: "What to do."
"Sometimes I get mad."
Mmm. Yeah.
Ethan: I'm going home in three months.
It's up to the staff...
so, I don't go home for a while...
'cause you know, I'm never gonna go home yet
until, you know, I keep working on my behavior.
But, you know, I'm still learning and...
Yeah.
I swiped my belt, but then they took my belt away.
At least they let me keep my other belt, but only if I'm safe.
Woman: Why'd you swipe your belt at the door?
'Cause I got super angry and...
But that was a long time ago, so...
Yeah.
What happens if you're good? Can you go to heaven?
Even if you weren't, can you go to heaven?
I mean, even if you aren't good,
you still can go to heaven?
Woman: I don't know all the answers to those questions.
Well, you could go to hell...
when you don't behave.
I mean, hell's underground.
Woman: Is that something you're worrying about?
Well, what do you mean? I'm-I'm-- I'm not worried about nothing.
Woman: Okay. So...
(knocks on door)
Come in. (door opens)
Woman: Hi.
It's two o'clock. Are you ready to move on with your schedule?
Creigh: Gus was probably the most capable person I've-- I ever knew.
He was-- he was able to do anything he wanted to do
and do it at a high-- at a very high level.
He made movies with his friends,
and he-he-- he could speak any language he put his mind to learning.
He could play any instrument he wanted to learn.
He-- he was-- he was unbelievable.
You go through pictures, you look at things,
you think about things, lots of times with Gus,
he-he-- he contributed a lot,
and he-- he impacted so many lives.
♪ ♪
Nobody else in the family really thought there was a problem.
In October of 2013, you know,
I noticed on Facebook he-- he was just, you know--
he was concerned about...
professors gang-- ganging up on him,
and I was, um, I knew that wasn't Gus.
But he started cutting his friends off...
and then he just started behaving erratically.
The next thing I know, he's decided to come home, to leave school.
Maybe I didn't accept how sick he was.
I mean, I-I-- I know that I didn't...
but I-- I didn't expect violence.
Hi. How are you? Is Mommy home?
(child speaks softly) Can I talk to Mommy?
Can you go get Mommy?
(child speaks softly) Okay.
Do you want to go get her?
(child speaks softly) Maria: Thank you.
I'll wait. Go ahead, go get Mommy.
(child speaks softly)
I think Cesar spoke to you.
He went to the school on the 28th of October,
and Ivanka was still here.
Mm-hmm. So what happened?
I know that you were struggling with him, right?
Yeah, that's it. I just came downstairs from with the manager,
because, you know, since she found out who's been lighting the fires...
Mmm. Uh-huh. ...now I gotta pay for all the carpet that's been burned.
And when I talked to another little boy in the building...
Mm-hmm. ...he did admit that Vontae was setting fires.
Wow. So I'm like, "He can't come back here.
We'll get evicted." She already got a report
that's to the owner, so I don't know what they're gonna do with us.
We're gonna have to pay for the damages,
which I don't have money to pay for the damages.
What happened with the therapist?
Was that even helpful?
Was she still coming here? Uh-huh? You know what they tell me?
They tell me 'cause I been getting on they case,
I'm like, "You guys--" 'cause he started spiraling down.
I'm like, "You guys gonna have to do something."
I was like-- I been really emphasizing and really pushing them
to get him in some after-school programs.
I was like, "He needs to be in an after-school program..." Right.
"...and he needs to be in something to keep him busy on the weekends."
I've been saying it, saying it, saying it. Nobody's doing anything.
Mm-hmm. So when they come over, when I start talking to them
and really pressing them, they was like, "Well, we don't know what to do with him,
'cause he won't open up to us," and you know, I'm like,
"Well, if you can't do it, find somebody that can do it." Mm-hmm.
You know, if you saying you can't reach him,
he's not opening up, then refer him somewhere else.
He has not seen a psychiatrist.
Obviously, he's crying out for help.
I'm not a professional, so I can't give-- all I can do is be a mother.
Right. You know, that's all I can be,
but he needs more than a mother.
He needs some serious professional help.
(sighs) You know, I just learned right now
that, um, there was a conference call
with the therapist, and one of the recommendations
was to increase his mental health services
and also a referral to a psychiatrist,
and it doesn't seem like it happened,
and so I'm gonna call right now and find out what happened with that.
Yeah. I'm calling in regards to a minor
who I've been working with-- him and his mother.
It-- its been a while. Probably about maybe two months ago,
there was a-- a teleconference with one of our supervisors
and Cesar in regards to making a referral to a psychiatrist.
So what happened with that referral?
And see, if we would've had that information,
it would've been very helpful, because if we had to take Mom
to get the physical exam that Vontae needed, we would've done that.
If in the future, you get a case
and you have a problem with that,
please let us know, and we'll do that,
because... it's been a year
and he hasn't been seen by a psychiatrist.
That's pretty-- Yeah.
(phone clatters) (sighs)
So it was all based on the paperwork,
on a-- on a-- on a... physical exam that was never taken place.
Woman: What do you mean, "It was all"--
Well, I mean-- I mean that him being seen by a psychiatrist,
it was-- they were just waiting for a physical exam,
like the results of a physical exam.
That's all they were waiting for.
♪ ♪
Woman: Okay, first, close your eyes and take a couple deep breaths...
while I get this other paper out.
(clatters)
So throughout this whole thing,
don't forget to breathe, okay? (inhales sharply)
(soft flute music playing)
Clench your fists. Real tight! (exhales)
And hold it for 10 seconds.
Nine, eight, seven,
six, five, four,
three, two, one.
Tense the muscles around your forehead
by raising your eyebrows as far as you can.
Just like that. And hold it.
Hold it right there, real tight.
Don't forget to breath.
10, nine, eight-- Thomas: The problem that we face most of all
is that we're still in love with the magic bullet.
We still think there's gonna be a pill
or there's gonna be a psychotherapy
or there's gonna be a critical insight.
If somebody says the right thing to the right person
at the right time, they're gonna be well.
That works great in Hollywood.
Doesn't actually work that well in real life.
These are really complicated problems.
It takes time, but it also takes
a lot of different converging kinds of interventions,
and that could include medicine, education,
skill building, what we call cognitive retraining.
That's what you need for recovery. It's not going to be simple.
♪ ♪
Ethan (on phone): Hello? Stacy (on phone): Hi, Ethan.
Ethan: Mom? Stacy: Hi, Baby. I miss you.
Ethan: Hey, Mom. How is your day going?
Stacy: It's going good. How's your day going?
Ethan: Oh, my day...
Some parts were bad, and some parts were good.
Stacy: Are you working on your behaviors?
(man speaks indistinctly)
Ethan: Some parts, yeah.
Stacy: Do you think you're, like, learning to try to not get so angry
or control that a little bit more?
Ethan: Well, kind of.
May I say hi to Elexa?
Stacy: Oh, honey, you could say hi to Elexa,
but Elexa's outside playing.
Okay, well, I love you, baby. Mwah!
Ethan: Mwah!
Bye, Mom. I love you. Stacy: Bye, baby. I love you too.
♪ ♪
Hey, why don't you tell me how your therapy's going
with Wendy. What do you mean?
Good. I haven't really talked to you about it.
So, what do you like about her? She's nice.
That's good. What do you guys do?
Play a board game.
You play board games?
And we talk. What do you talk about?
My diary, Mommy.
I can't tell you.
No. Okay, when I said that she's like your diary,
I meant that she can't tell me what you talk about.
That doesn't mean you can't tell me if you wanted to tell me.
I can't tell you what I said to her.
Well, you can tell me if you want to tell me.
Well, I don't want to tell you.
Nothing? Not anything?
Do you feel like you cannot talk to me about stuff?
Yeah. Why?
Because you always say comments about it.
No, I don't. Mm-hmm.
What I mean is...
I hope you don't feel you can't tell me things,
'cause you can. I do.
Can you explain to me why you...
want to take medicine and think it's so cool?
'Cause everyone else does. Who's everyone?
All my friends.
Ethan takes medicine every day because it helps him calm down.
Then can I do that? No, because you don't need that kind of help.
Well, I can't calm down sometimes.
Yeah, all people get angry and sad and hyper.
Mad. And mad. Well, that's angry.
Because of their mother?
I'm kidding. (giggles)
It kind of feels like they favor him over me.
But I know that they kind of have to...
put a lot of time and effort
into dealing with him.
Sometimes, like, I would want them to, like--
I would-- for example, like, show them...
something I did at school,
like homework or a project or something,
but it... kind of would be like they were always busy,
had something with William, busy with William,
just always something with him. Always.
Edie: I think she needs a lot more attention
than a typical person her age.
It's really important that we give it to her,
or it's really upsetting to her, you know? Like, "Watch me do this,
and watch me do that." And he gets special treatment.
You know, he doesn't get grounded like she gets grounded.
The rules are different, and I think that's the one thing she resents,
is that the rules are different for him
than they are her, and they have to be.
Stacy: "Answer."
Elexa: A-N-S-W-E-R.
"State."
Elexa: S-T-A-T-E.
"Several."
Elexa: I know this one.
S-E-V-E-R-A-L.
I'm excited he's coming home,
and I'm kind of worried
that he's gonna... be bad still.
Like... he's gonna yell and stuff and hit me.
(sighs)
I did get the door replaced.
It was broke... hole on the side,
and I did fix the hole in the wall that he made,
so he had punched a hole in the wall, and I did get that fixed.
So, yeah, I tried to make it look nice and clean and new again
as much as I could for him when he came home,
and I hope that he doesn't re-destroy anything
after all the work I've put in and the money I'm spending, but...
you know, I wanted him to, hopefully--
I wanted to have kind of a fresh start and a clean start--
a clean slate so to speak, so.
This is really sad. Now that I have to fold all these clothes,
I can absolutely see, in these past six months just how much weight I've put on.
I don't think any of these fit me anymore.
I think it was...
the feeling of... you know,
having six months of thinking you needed
to start marking things off your bucket list.
To like feel like that because your son
is away from home is something else.
Ethan: I'm going home today.
(rock music plays)
I've heard this song before. (laughs)
Yeah, turn it up, please. Turn it up?
A little bit, okay?
♪ ♪
Yes, I like this song. Do you?
I miss this song. (laughs)
(vocalizing music)
♪ Baby, baby, ooh, baby, baby ♪
(laughs) ♪ Ooh, baby, baby ♪
♪ Baby, baby ♪
♪ Ooh, baby, baby, b-b-baby, baby ♪
Can you do this? Oh! (vocalizes music)
(laughs) ♪ Make a film ♪
Hi. Hey.
Stacy: Your hair's all wet. Yeah, I spiked it.
Can I have a hug? Someone spiked it for me.
Do I get a hug? Hi. Yeah.
Are you okay? No, I'm okay. I'm...
I thought you'd be excited to be home. No, no, I am.
Stacy: Can you read that for me?
(paper rustles)
"Home expectations.
"I will listen to adults.
"I will respect everyone and their property,
"and will not take things without asking permission.
"I will always be safe. I will keep my hands to myself.
"I will use my inside voice.
When I get upset, I will ask for a break."
Stacy: I need you to try to remember these rules...
and your coping skills. Are you looking at me?
Can I have a kiss?
I missed you.
Can you believe you're home?
Are you staying overnight?
Mm-hmm! I'm staying forever. (laughs)
I hope so. My God, how much gel did you use? The bottle?
(bird chirping)
Edie: William's been home about two months,
and at the beginning he was doing great,
and he was happy and...
really controlling his behavior.
We had some set up structure
for him that he followed really well.
And then slowly he started wanting to take back his...
personal freedoms and decided to... put up more of a fight,
and so some of the nights were...
pretty intense. We've had to call the police a couple of times on him.
Yeah, pretty much the money issue is the main reason
why William was let go from the home.
Medicaid doesn't want to pay.
When we had our meetings...
you have Brian who's saying, "This child needs to be in a home...
at least a year, you know, if not until he's 18,"
because he wants to see long-term progress.
You know, Brian's thinking...
"Who is this person going to be when he's 25?
And what's the best way to make him a productive member of society?"
And that would be a long-term retraining
of everything that--
that he's had to unlearn and relearn.
The county is looking at, "Well, he's been in for 120 days.
He's been in for 186 days." And they're counting days,
and to them, the days are dollar signs.
And so it seemed every time we had a meeting,
it was... the mental health professionals saying
"This is what he needs," and then the people paying it saying,
"You know, well, he's not hurting anybody.
He's not hurting himself. Let's send him home."
Man (on iPad): Kidding! Your ass isn't that--
Well, it's pretty big, but I'd still do you with the lights off.
(clatters) Where the (bleeps) did that come from?
(continues indistinctly)
♪ ♪
Creigh: Sometime that spring,
Gus was agitated and twitchy...
and, um, one-word answers at best.
His behavior was just very erratic, very erratic.
You know, and by that I mean, you know, he would just--
he would, um, he was... skin and bones then.
♪ ♪
One morning, I was coming out of the feed room
and Gus was just walking across the yard.
And I said, "Hey, bud, how'd you sleep?"
Or I said, "Hey, bud, good morning," or something like that.
I said, "Hey, bud, how'd you sleep?"
And he said, "Fine."
And I turned around, and-- and I went-- I--
He was on me, and I-- I turned around--
Once I-- You know, I guess I dropped the feed bucket,
but I got back around, and I said, you know,
I said, "What's going on, bud?
I love you so much."
And he didn't say anything.
♪ ♪
Newsman: As we speak right now, he is in critical condition.
State Senator Creigh Deeds has been stabbed inside of his home.
And the death of his son in what police are investigating
as an attempted murder-suicide.
Newswoman: Behind the blue lights blocking the Deeds' driveway
is a case that perplexes even police
as investigators search for answers.
Creigh: That night before, and it was just very clear he was in crisis.
He said to me-- at one point, he just--
he-- he just talked about--
he talked about suicide.
I brought Gus to the hospital,
and Gus was examined, and they determined
that he needed-- he was in crisis,
and he needed a bed,
but that there weren't beds available.
Newswoman: Deeds had to get a court order,
but the emergency custody would run out in six hours,
and a representative of the local community services board
told Deeds they couldn't find a bed.
I looked at the guy, I said, "The system failed my son tonight."
He said, "What?" He got very-- really defensive about it,
but, you know, but it-- it did.
I knew Gus would not be happy with me.
He would feel like I betrayed him...
so I was worried.
I was-- I was a little scared coming back.
I didn't expect the sort of...
situation-- I didn't expect that.
But I-I-- I was a little worried.
♪ ♪
I can't get Gus back.
No matter what I do, I can't get him back.
He's gone.
I know that-- that he would've been alive for longer
if we could've found him a bed that night.
♪ ♪
But I was blessed, so fortunate
to have him in my life for 24 years.
(man speaks indistinctly on phone)
Ethan: Oh God.
Uh-oh. I gotta-- Bill, I've gotta go right now. Ethan: Oh-ho-ho!
Stacy: You're not allowed to watch TV, Ethan.
Why are you in here?
It's just showing me something--
It doesn't matter. You don't do that.
And as soon as I got off the phone with dad,
it was your power of choice time. Do you want to lose it?
This is my room! No, this isn't your room!
Don't spy on me like that!
Okay. That's enough.
Don't you touch the damn TV.
That is enough. Give me-- give--
Don't touch the damn TV. One. Give me the controller now.
Two. Remember when you said you could go back to CCSS? You... piece of shit.
I don't have a TV in there.
Yeah, you do. Stop it, right now.
I will use this gun.
Oh my God. Get...
I'll fricking-- ...out of my room!
You get-- You fucking want me to shoot your gun? Stop.
I'll shoot that fricking gun. Okay! Enough!
Stop that, frickin' bitch!
(Ethan mutters) Stacy: You're-you're-- you're hurting me.
You realize that? Then don't you turn my Wii off!
What was the first rule? You lost your Wii.
You will not have it tomorrow,
and you will not have the TV. You are not gonna tell me-- boss around!
I will. Going in my room. I'm gonna get the gun
if you don't shut the fuck up!
I-- One!
Don't! Shut the fuck up! Two!
Go!
Shut up!
You need to calm down!
Man: Are you okay? Stacy: Let go!
Man: Do you need anything else?
Ethan: You want me to make you cry?
Then shut the fuck up.
Stacy: You're hurting me.
I tell my students that-- I'll ask them the question:
Let's say that you have a breakdown, what would you do?
What would your family do? And they invariably say,
"Oh, well, we'd-- we'd call the-- the doctor,
and you'd go to the hospital."
And I say, "This isn't true.
"You'd call 911, and the police would come,
"and if you were lucky, you'd live through that encounter,
and they'd take you to jail."
There really isn't a good way to get help for people.
I mean, my dad put me in juvenile detention,
and he said he did it because he was trying to help me
and he loved me.
At the time, I didn't understand what he was saying,
and I hated him for it.
But now I realize that 70 percent of people
in juvenile detention had a severe mental illness.
Tiara (on phone): Hello?
Cora: Tiara. Tiara: What?
Cora: You need to come and take care of Tristan.
I'm falling to pieces over here.
I'm-I'm-- I'm falling to pieces.
I can't keep it together in here.
I am falling. I'm crumbling,
falling to pieces, and I need for somebody
to take care of Tristan. (sniffles)
All right.
(sniffles)
Man: Where is Vontae?
I don't know.
I tried to call the social worker,
but he not answering, so I don't know.
All I know is, they was taking him to a command post...
last night, so I don't know where he's at.
Actually, I won't know until either he calls or the social worker calls.
Yeah, he called me...
about 12:30, and, um...
he left a message saying that he got put out of the group home,
and that he was at a gas station, at a pay phone,
and he didn't have nowhere to go.
So the next morning I got up, and I called the group home,
and the group home-- the guy answered the phone,
and he said that... (sniffles)
Vontae wasn't no longer with them
and that he AWOL'ed.
And he told me it was better-- best for me to call the social worker.
So I called the social worker, and Mark says...
you know, he don't know anything about this,
and he was like, "So where is Vontae?"
And I'm like, "I don't know. I called you 'cause I thought you knew where he was."
This is Mark, the social worker.
Hello?
(on phone) Hey, Cora. It's Mark.
Hi, Mark.
Mark: Hey. What's going on?
Where is Vontae?
Mark: I can't hear you. You gotta speak up.
I said where is Vontae?
Mark: He's back at the office.
He's at your office?
Mark: Yeah, they couldn't find a place
for him last night, so they brought him back.
Okay, so, um, so what happens now?
(Mark speaks indistinctly)
Oh, is there a number where I can call, so I can--
'Cause I need to make sure that he's okay,
and I need to be able to keep in touch with him,
'cause I don't want him lost in the system.
Mark: I can't hear you. You gotta speak up. What now?
I don't want him lost in the system,
so I would like a number or something
where I can keep up, you know, where he's at.
♪ ♪
(sniffling)
♪ ♪
(geese squawking)
(indistinct chattering)
William: Do you know what jail is really like?
Do you have any clue?
Edie: I've seen some shows.
William: Yeah.
Edie: Jail is almost like...
punishment more than it is a place to get better.
William: I know.
'Cause in jail, you have to do hard work.
You have to work for the cops.
So basically in jail, you basically become
a slave... to the community.
Edie: Mm-hmm.
William: What they do is basically just slavery.
It's overnight slavery.
Edie: It's kind of true, honey.
And I think part of the reason there's a jail, honey...
Yeah? ...is to keep people like that...
Yeah?
...away from the public,
to keep the public safe...
Yeah. ...from people like that.
That's what I think. Okay.
Edie: He's fascinated with jail.
I think, on some level, he feels like some day he'll be there,
and so its almost like he's preparing himself.
Um...
And because he knows that his behaviors...
would be jail behaviors if he wasn't special needs.
There's gonna come a time where they're not gonna give him that kind of grace.
(groaning)
Are you all right?
Get away! (woman screams)
Man: Look at that. He looks like a girl...
Elexa: Yeah, in this video he does.
Yeah. That's where we were hiding, Elexa.
Elexa: That must hurt so bad. Ethan: A cat?
("Thriller" playing) All right.
(animal howls)
Stacy: I'm 20 weeks, five months.
Still kind of surreal really.
I'm only just barely starting to feel her move and...
Either way, it's a very big gap
between the two kids I have now,
so, it just feels all brand-new again.
He has not laid a hand on me, anything like he ever did before
since I told him I was pregnant.
He has really shown a lot of strength.
I mean, I've... I've got him in situations
where normally he would've-- he would flip out on me,
and he's really showed a lot of restraint.
Bail Bonds. (phone beeps, ringing)
Hold on just a moment. Bail Bonds.
You know, I'm brutally honest about things,
and I really don't try to sugarcoat anything,
and I don't try to hide anything, and I...
I'm not gonna say he's a hundred percent better. He's not.
I'm really happy that he--
I feel like he's come a little ways.
I just am being honest that he still has a long ways to go.
You know, I don't think I'm doing anything so different
as far as how I'm talking to him or the way I am with him...
but he's becoming a little calmer at times,
and, I don't know, we changed his medicine too, so.
I think the medicine he's on now is a lot better,
and I think that probably is playing a little bit of a part in it as well,
um...
but I'm sure it's a combination of everything.
♪ ♪
Cora: I worry about him a lot.
Especially if he's getting--
wherever he's getting these toy guns from.
What I'm afraid of is because he's tall and--
and Vontae, because of his height,
can be very intimidating to other people,
so I'm afraid that they're gonna take the wrong perception of him
because of his height and his record
and all the trouble that he gets into,
and he's going around, carrying toy guns and stuff like that.
Oh God.
I don't like-- I don't like it.
I'm like at a place now where I can help my kids.
You know, now I can be, I can be...
I feel like now I can be a mom.
You know, I can be a mom now,
and I want Vontae to experience that.
I want him to see the-- be able to experience
the new side of me,
because I think it would help him.
♪ ♪
Woman: What's your-- what's your biggest fear for William?
An accident... something like that.
That makes me cry, yeah.
Yeah.
That I'll get a call...
So...
You know, when he threatens, sometimes, you know, cutting himself--
what if he does it too hard one time?
Um... or, uh...
he's hanging out with kids that are no good for him
and something goes wrong?
Um... So, he's like a lamb. You know, he's innocent.
(indistinct chatter)
Edie: In my most hopeful moments, I see a brilliant mind.
I see... a sweetheart...
and I see somebody that is so unique
that there's nobody on the face of the Earth like him, and...
if we could somehow channel that into something creative
that he can actually make a living for himself,
and then he can maybe live...
you know in a carriage house behind our house or something,
and actually have a decent life.
You know, maybe even go to college or something like that.
In those moments, I'm hopeful for him,
you know, when I dream that.
So... cautiously hopeless or hopeful, yeah.
So...
♪ ♪
Liza: As I looked at Adam's path
and the trajectory he was on,
it was so similar to my son's,
and the only thing where it started to change
was with my blog post,
when I screamed to the world
and said, "Hi, I need help.
All of our-- all of these moms, we all need help."
There is a sort of politics
and a reality that are often in conflict.
Most people with mental illnesses,
most people with autism,
most people with any of this variety of conditions,
which we largely describe as brain diseases
of one kind or another, will never hurt anyone.
If we talk too much about those dangerous situations,
we stigmatize people we shouldn't.
If we take a politically correct standpoint
and we don't acknowledge those situations,
then we end up with families in which a child is
terrifying and violent and nobody believes them,
and they don't understand what it is they have to deal with.
It's a very fine balance we need to strike.
I think what we forget most of all
when someone is violent
and when they have a serious mental illness,
is that we've failed them.
It's a little bit like if someone had diabetes
and they go into a coma.
That's part of the illness, right?
But if they get treated, that should never happen--
if they get treated well,
and that's where we've-- we've let people down.
We need to understand that treatment before tragedy
is not only possible, but it should become our reality.
And that's-- it's gonna take some tough conversations.
♪ ♪
Liza: This is about helping people who are suffering,
and we know that if we can get children treatment,
we can change the whole course,
not only of a child's life,
but of an entire family's life.
Stacy: Oh, over here. What kind of penguins are there?
Hi, penguin. Stacy: Hey. I wish one of them would go in right now.
Ethan: Hey, Mom, watch.
Stacy: Absolutely. I see. Elexa: Look at the--
Ethan: Look, I see one over there.
Good afternoon.
It's always polite to say that.
You want a taste?
Mmm. You're welcome.
I wouldn't go to heaven if I didn't share.
Mm-mmm.
If I don't share, I can't go to heaven.
No, I can't, actually.
Well, you know why?
Because in hell, they're controlling you.
Here you want me to hold yours?
Stacy: Well, that's very nice of you, Ethan.
Here, let me see the spoon. Do you want-- do you want--
sorry. Oh, 'cause you want to play with it?
Elexa: Mmm!
♪ ♪
(firecracker sizzles, pops)