BOYS: Here's the story of a lovely lady
Who was bringing up Three very lovely girls
All of them had hair of gold Like their mother
The youngest one in curls
GIRLS: Here's the story of a man named Brady
Who was busy With three boys of his own
They were four men Living all together
Yet they were all alone
ALL: Till the one day when The lady met this fellow
And they knew that it was Much more than a hunch
That this group Must somehow form a family
That's the way we all became The Brady Bunch
The Brady Bunch
That's the way We became the Brady Bunch
CAROL: Pedal faster, Mike.
What do you mean, faster? I'm passing you.
Ha-ha-ha. That'll be the day.
Well...
There. Two miles. I'm done.
Aha.
Six miles.
- Oh, wait a minute. - Yeah.
You didn't reset the thingamabob from yesterday.
- That's why I'm not tired. Ha-ha. - Ha, ha, ha.
Oh, Mike, weren't these bikes great Christmas gifts
- we gave each other last year? - Some gifts. Torture devices.
Speaking of Christmas--
I knew you were leading up to something.
Have you given any thought at all to what you'll get me this year?
You sly little devil.
Not only have I thought about it, I know exactly what I'll get you.
- You do? - Yup.
Oh, come on. What is it?
Oh, come on, Mike. Please. Tell me. What is it?
Where is my checkbook?
- Right here. - Oh.
I'm going to need that for your Christmas present.
Mike, you can't do this to me.
You can't tell me you know what you're going to get me
- and not tell me what it is. - Yes, I can.
- You know why? - No, why?
Because I'm mean and cruel and sadistic.
Yes, I know that. I just hope you're generous too.
- How about a hint? - No.
Okay. If that's the way you're going to be.
I have a surprise for you too.
But if you won't hint, I won't hint.
That's a deal. I have to get dressed.
- Sweetheart Ha, ha. - Ha-ha-ha.
Remember, we don't have any kids at home anymore.
And I don't have to go do business at the real estate office today,
and you don't have to go do business either, so...
I thought maybe you and I could do some business together, here.
[GROANS]
- You tempt me. You really do. - Ha, ha.
It's your fault.
I have to meet Ted Roberts. You're the one who introduced us.
I didn't know it would ruin my love life.
He really seems impressed with the new plans
- I've done for his building. - Why not?
You are the best architect this side of Frank Lloyd Wright.
Is that what you told him when you sold him the land?
I certainly did. In fact, I told him you were the best architect
on the other side of Frank Lloyd Wright too.
Well, no wonder I loves you. Come on.
Make that last.
[PHONE RINGS]
- Hello. - Marcia. It's me.
Hi, Mom. Why are we whispering?
It's a secret. I don't want your father to know I'm calling you.
Gee, I always thought Dad liked me.
Oh, Marcia, I am so excited about the Christmas present I'm getting him,
I had to tell someone or I'll bust.
- And so you called me. - Who else would I call, Greg?
- What are you getting Dad? - It's a trip. To Greece.
Greece. That's great!
I never knew who Dad liked better, you or the Venus de Milo.
Ha, ha. I'm taking the money from our special vacation account.
Now, Jan, please be sure and keep it a secret.
Sure.
Now, Peter, I'm counting on you to keep it quiet.
I bet you told everybody about this.
Oh, he'll love it!
So you really think it's a good present, Cindy?
Mom, I think it's a great present.
I mean, who wouldn't want a trip to Greece for Christmas?
Most of the people living in Athens, I guess. Ha-ha-ha.
And Dad doesn't know a thing about it?
Nope. Just you kids.
Now I hope I can count on you to keep it a secret, Bobby.
YOU can count on me.
Now I just hope I can count on me.
[PHONE RINGS]
- Dr. Brady. MIKE: Greg?
Dad. I was just thinking about you.
I got a problem.
And you called me?
Well, you're a doctor. I need a second opinion. Ha, ha.
How do you think your mother would like it...
if I surprised her with a trip to Japan?
- Japan? MIKE: Yeah, Japan.
You know, pagodas, the Ginza, geisha girls, things like that.
When are you planning this trip, Dad?
December. It's a Christmas gift.
Uh... Somehow, that's what I thought.
We've been saving up all this money for years.
The vacation account.
I bet that's what you're using, huh?
You kids are smart
But I don't know quite how to break it to her.
Gently, Dad. Break it very gently.
The thing is, I don't know exactly when to tell her.
After the first of the year, Dad.
But it's a Christmas present.
I know.
- Thanks, Bob. BOBBY: Bye, Dad.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
- Alice! - Alice!
What a happy surprise!
[SOBBING]
So, Sam walked out without saying goodbye.
No, Mrs. Brady. My husband left me a note,
written on paper from his butcher shop.
"Dear Alice,
I lied to you.
I wasn't working nights plucking chickens.
I met a younger woman.
At first we just traded meatloaf recipes.
Then one night she asked me over
to season her rump roast."
The next part's kind of blurred.
That's my tears.
Hm.
"I guess I'm an old fool,
but I fell for her like...
a pound of ground chuck."
That no-good, two-timing meat manger.
That snake in the grass. That low-down, conniving--
Mrs. Brady.
That's my husband you're talking about.
- Sorry. - Alice, we feel terrible.
I feel terribler.
Alice, you did the right thing coming here.
Well, you've always been like a family to me.
Even better than a family.
You never left me, like Sam did.
Stay here for a few days.
Could I?
Oh, sure.
Your room's still there. It's just like you left it.
Could I-- Could I stay here?
- Could I really? - We insist.
I'll be right back.
You know, Mike, I'm shocked.
Sam and Alice were always like liver and onions.
Welcome home, Alice.
Gosh, I was hungry, but not this hungry.
Oh. I set places for Greg, Marcia, Peter, Jan, Bobby, and Cindy.
I don't know where my mind is.
Yes, I do. It's with that butcher.
How about some nice scrambled eggs?
Scrambled eggs. Yes, Mr. Brady.
Alice. You are not our housekeeper anymore.
Can't I even scramble an egg?
After you left, I did all the things you used to do.
I knew it. I'm obsolete.
Alice, good friends are never obsolete.
You said that right.
Are you sure I can't do something to help?
Crack them or stir them, or even leave some shell in them,
like I used to sometimes?
Alice. You never did that.
Isn't there anything I can do?
Yes. You can stay out of Carol's way.
Besides, there's something I want to talk to you about.
Really good to have you back, Alice.
It's like old times.
Listen, Carol and I were talking last night,
and as far as we're concerned,
you can stay here as long as you like.
We're gonna be gone for a little while. But that's okay.
Christmas is coming, right?
I'm going to treat Carol to a trip to Japan.
Oh, Mr. Brady, that is beautiful.
Yeah, but now, don't say anything.
[SCOFFS THEN SPEAKS IN FRENCH]
- Hey. Eggs almost ready? - Eggs with a smile.
Just the way I like them. Soft.
Good.
I think I'll skip breakfast today.
I have to be at the real estate office early.
- Enjoy your breakfast, dear. - Bye, darling.
Alice, why don't you walk me to the front door?
Mike and I were talking last night,
and you could stay as long as you want.
And since you're here,
I want to let you in on a little secret.
Christmas is coming, right?
Well, I thought I would surprise Mike with a cruise to Greece.
- What do you think? - I'm speechless.
That's exactly what I am.
Speechless.
I mean, even if I could say anything, I couldn't,
because I'm absolutely, totally speechless.
- I knew you'd be delighted. - Oh, I'm more than delighted.
- I'm speechless. - Good.
Well, bye now.
[EXCLAIMING IN GREEK]
- Hi, Donald. - Hello, Mike.
Bet you can't guess why I'm here.
- You want to go somewhere. Ha, ha. - Who told you?
Get out your Asian brochures, look under J for Japan.
I've just drawn the money out of our account.
You've got it.
- Hello. Please sit down. - Thank you.
I've never been here before.
I know this is the agency my husband always uses.
- I'm Mrs. Mike Brady. - And I'm Mrs. Crane.
I'll be delighted to help you.
- You're planning a trip? - Yes. To Greece.
The reason I came in,
is because it's going to be a surprise for my husband.
Well, I have a deposit here from our special account.
I do hope it's enough.
You don't mind if I verify this at the bank, do you?
Oh, no. Not at all.
Excuse me.
Greece.
There you are, you little devil.
[HUMMING IN GREEK]
Thanks.
It seems that you have a balance of $8.17 in your special account.
Oh, that's impossible.
That's our special savings account.
That's the money for our cruise to Greece.
Well, thanks for stopping by, Mrs. Brady, if that's your name.
Of course, that's my name. I am Mrs. Mike Brady,
and I suggest you call the bank again.
There has to be some sort of mistake.
No, there's no mistake.
They told me the money was withdrawn just a little while ago.
BY Whom?
By the other joint account holder.
But that's my husband.
Somebody took our money.
Somebody's pretending to be my husband.
Hi there.
I'm the man pretending to be your husband.
Mike. All our money's gone.
Well... and I came in here to surprise you with a trip.
Honey, why do you think I'm here?
Carol.
Did you ever read O. Henry's Gift of the Magi?
- You mean...? - Yes.
- Oh, Mike. Oh. - Ha-ha-ha.
I told you I was Mrs. Mike Brady.
Alice, why didn't you tell us
we were each planning a different trip?
Thanks, honey.
Well, you both told me it was a secret,
and I can't work for people who can't trust me to keep a secret.
Alice. You don't work for us.
Then, I can't befriends with people who can't trust me to keep a secret.
Alice, what do you think? Greece or the Orient?
The Orient or Greece?
Can I skip this question and go right to the bonus round?
Look, you folks had such great times on vacations.
I don't think it matters where you go.
You know, Mike, she's right.
- Remember our camping trip? - Which one?
The one where the boys almost got eaten by a "bear".
Oh, yes. How could I forget?
Dad, a bear!
A bear!
That really is a bear!
MIKE: Now, boys, wait! Boys. Wait!
[ALL SCREAMING]
Well...
you finally got what you wanted.
Oh, yeah? What's that?
Togetherness. Ugh.
You know what made those trips really special?
- The whole family. Together. - Yeah.
Now almost every year,
some of the kids come back, and some don't.
- What if, this year... - Yeah?
...everybody came back for Christmas?
Husbands, wives--
Yeah, yeah. Kids, grandkids, everybody.
- Oh, good. - What better way
to spend our vacation money.
All those people in this house at one time?
Boy, if I worked here, I'd want a raise.
MICKEY: I'm going to get you! JESSICA: Stop it!
- Mom! MARSHA: Stop squirting your sister!
I've got to get Jessica wet!
You don't have to get her wet!
- Yes, I do! - Mom, make him stop!
Mickey. Do you remember
when you put chewing gum in your sister's sneakers?
- No TV for a whole week. - This is worth it.
Aah!
- I'm going to get you! - Mickey!
[PHONE RINGING]
You're lucky that I have to answer the phone, young man.
JESSICA: Mom! Mom! - Hello.
Hi, Marcia.
Hi, Mom, how are you?
Oh, fine. How are things going?
Oh, same as always.
Tell Mickey to stop chasing Jessica.
Kids!
Marcia, your father and I have a plan.
Yeah?
Remember I told you I was going to take him on a trip to Greece?
Right. Then Dad called, and he said that--
Scratch both trips.
Instead we want to send everybody airline tickets
to come home and join us for the Christmas holidays.
Your family, your brothers and sisters, everybody.
- Everybody? - Yes, even Mickey.
[CHUCKLES]
- Well, what do you say? - Well...
I'd say that that sounds absolutely great.
Let me just check with Wally when he gets home,
make sure that he can get the time off.
- Hi, honey. - My life is over.
Mom, let--
Mom, I'll call you right back.
Okay.
What's the matter?
I don't know where to begin.
Well, is there anything I can do to help?
There's nothing anyone can do.
[GROANS]
Oh, thanks, Alice.
[PHONE RINGS]
That was fast.
- Pardon me? - I'm sorry.
I thought you were my daughter.
Heh. I haven't been anybody's daughter
for as long as I can remember. It's Ted Roberts.
Of course. Mr. Roberts. How are you?
Well, I could be happier, if you could do me a favor.
It's concerning the land your office sold me.
The property on 34th and Oak.
Certainly. At Advantage Properties we have a saying,
"A customer isn't a customer
unless a customer is a satisfied customer."
Well, it's kind of a tongue twister,
but, well, that's what they like us to say.
Well, I hope your firm means it.
- Oh, we do. We do. - Good.
As you know, I hired your husband as the architect.
The perfect man for the job.
Well, the perfect man and I are having a difference of opinion.
I thought you might talk to him about it.
Well, I don't think I should meddle in my husband's business.
You meddled enough to recommend him.
Well, that's true, but, I--
Now... [SIGHS]
Your firm handles a lot of industrial properties.
I have done business with Advantage Properties in the past.
I am doing business in the present.
That only leaves the future.
I think I understand.
The plans are within building and safety code requirements,
but Mike is insisting on additional structural modifications
that are unnecessary,
and I might add, very expensive.
Look, Mr. Roberts, I don't think I'm qualified
to discuss structural modifications.
Oh? Are you qualified to discuss
losing a major account for your company?
Good day.
[DIAL TONE]
That wasn't Marcia calling back, was it?
No.
[SIGHS]
Come on, Dad. Let's play with my toys!
Heh. A best seller. Aw, toys!
I don't ever want to hear that word again!
Did you say one of your bad words again?
- All I said was toys! WALLY: Don't say that word!
Honey, did something happen at work this afternoon?
I don't know. I wasn't at work this afternoon.
They let me go this morning.
The Tyler Toy Company fired you?
That's right.
I won't be going there tomorrow or ever.
- Great! - Dad.
Now all of us can play with toys.
Daddy doesn't like that word anymore.
I mean, I gave them my best.
I established markets they never had before.
Then there's a merger and a consolidation,
and I'm gone!
You're a great salesman, honey.
You'll get another job.
Fine. But until then,
where do we get the money to live on?
I mean, we hardly have anything in the bank.
Here, Dad. Here's my allowance.
- Give him yours. - No way!
Now-- Wait a second.
Look, I don't want you kids to worry about this, okay?
We'll work it out.
Do you want to hear some good news?
Only if we won the lottery.
Well, in a way.
My folks have invited all of us to their house for Christmas.
They're buying plane tickets for Greg and his family,
Phillip and Jan, Peter, Bobby, Cindy, and us.
Great. We get to see Grandma and Grandpa,
and all our aunts and uncles.
And Kevin the slug.
Mickey. Kevin is Greg and Nora's son.
Now he's just a little shy. So you stop calling him a slug.
That's right, Mom, because that slug is our cousin.
Well, I can't go.
I mean, I can't let everyone know I don't have a job.
- We're going. - No, we're not.
- We're going. - We're not.
- We're going. - Boy, a fight.
- No, it's not. - Yes, it is.
- We're going, Wally-- - We are not going!
Wally, we're going!
[PHONE RINGS]
Carol Brady here. How can I help you?
Well, you've been helping me for years.
- Greg, how are you? - Fine, Mom.
You know, right after you called the other day, Dad called.
Yeah, I know, I know. Look, it's all been squared away.
- Do you have a minute? - I have. But Mrs. Powell may not.
Your father and I want to send airline tickets
to you, Nora and Kevin to join us for the holidays.
- All the kids will be here. - That sounds perfect.
We've been at Nora's folks the last couple of years for Christmas.
Have you talked to the other kids?
Well, I've reached Marcia and Wally, and they're all set.
- Well-- AMY: Dr. Brady,
- Mrs. Powell's in active labor. - Thanks, Amy.
- Mom-- - I've tried to reach everyone else,
but so far all I've gotten is "leave a message"
and "please wait for that beep."
- So, I-- - Mom. Mom. Mark us down.
I've gotta run. Mrs. Powell's having her baby.
[DIAL TONE]
How rude. She could at least have waited until I finished talking.
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
- How are you, Mrs. Powell? - Oh, just peachy.
Mom was on the phone, honey.
She wants you and me and Kevin to come out for Christmas.
Everything seems normal. This should be easy.
Well, easy for you. How many times have you been through labor?
[GROANS]
Come on, Mr. Powell. Help your wife with the breathing.
- Remember the breathing exercises. - Yeah.
Greg. My folks invited us for Christmas.
I know.
But we went to your folks last year. And the year before that.
So? Christmas together is a tradition in my family.
That's the way it was in my family, Doctor.
But this is the first time in years all the kids will be together.
That's a good point.
But I already promised Mom and Dad.
That's worth considering.
- Hey. What about me? - Just breathe in and out, Mrs. Powell.
Remember the breathing exercises.
Wally and Marcia will be at the folks' with Jessica and Mickey.
So Kevin will have cousins to play with.
Cousins? Nobody said anything about cousins before.
Yeah. if we're talking cousins,
Tom and Tricia will be there with all five of their kids.
- Whoo! - We saw them last year.
That doesn't mean I don't want to see them this year.
Well, if she's got cousins and you've got cousins,
that makes it more complicated.
I don't mean to interrupt this discussion,
but I think I'm having a baby or something.
- Ugh. - Oh!
Nora, let's move her. It won't be long now.
Lights, camera, Mr. Powell. Action, Mrs. Powell.
- Birth of our baby. Take one. - Take one!
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING]
Mike. About the building, the one at 34th and Oak.
I got the most curious call from Ted Roberts.
I know the plans meet building and safety code specifications,
but he wants you to reconsider some new structural modifications.
Well, if it doesn't make any difference, that's one thing.
But if it really matters,
I'll agree with you no matter what you decide.
Works for me, Mrs. Brady.
Of course I don't make as good a Mr. Brady as Mr. Brady does.
Hi, honey. Hi, Alice.
Wow. What are the candles for?
Mike. I have something important to tell you.
Yeah?
- You're not pregnant? - I said important, not ridiculous.
If you two will excuse me...
Ah, red. My favorite year.
- Well, how was work today? - Oh, fine.
Finally got everything cleared off my desk for the holidays.
How was your work?
I got the Harrisons to come up 2000 on the Winstead place.
And I got the Winsteads to come down 2000.
Hey, that's great.
But they're still 74,000 apart
[CHUCKLES]
Well, I guess I have trouble with my work,
and you have trouble with your work.
In fact...
Sometimes I'm sorry you ever mentioned my name to Ted Roberts.
[COUGHING]
- You all right? - I'm fine.
Just fine.
He's the only thing ruining my Christmas.
If you think it's wrong, don't do it.
I haven't told you what he wants me to do.
Mike, I know the plan to meet building and safety code specifications,
but he wants you to reconsider some new structural modifications.
Now, if it doesn't make any difference, that's one thing, but if it really matters,
I'll agree with you no matter what you decide.
[SIGHS]
- That was very good. - I've been rehearsing.
Roberts talked to you?
Yes. He wanted me to influence you.
Well, I know exactly what to do about Ted Roberts.
- Let's talk about pleasanter things. - Okay.
- Like Christmas? - Yes.
And you'll straighten things out with Ted Roberts.
You got that right.
Were you able to get in touch with all the kids?
Well, so far, Marcia, Wally and their kids are set.
And Greg and Kevin and Nora.
But I haven't been able to reach anybody else.
Let's try the others.
Right now? We're almost ready to eat.
- Well, first things first. - Okay.
These are brochures from Aspen, Vail, Steamboat, Sun Valley!
- Great. Which snow is the best? - Which guys are the best?
[BOTH LAUGH]
[PHONE RINGS]
- Steve? - No. It's not Steve.
- Rory? - No.
Ross? Tyler? Richard?
I'm sorry. It's Mike.
Oh, hi, Mike. Wow, you sound older.
Well, I probably am. I'm Cindy's father.
Oh. It's for you. It's your dad. He sounds cute.
He's not cute, he's Dad.
- Hi, Dad. - Hi, sweetheart
We'd like you to come home for Christmas.
Home? What happened to Japan and Greece?
Well, we had a change of plans.
All of us together at Christmas. Wouldn't that be terrific?
Yeah. Terrific. Home for Christmas.
- Cindy, everything all right at school? - Yeah. Yeah. These are my last finals,
and then I am out of college for good.
Boy, it's hard to believe. To us you're still our little girl.
Yeah, I guess I am.
- Well, we'll see you at Christmas, then. - Okay.
- Bye. - Bye.
I can't believe I just overheard what I just overheard.
Yeah, well, you shouldn't have been listening.
You're not going skiing with the rest of us, right?
Look, Belinda, my folks want me to come home.
And you're going? You're giving up a trip with the whole gang?
Come on, Cindy, you're an adult. The state recognizes it.
Why can't your parents?
I'm the youngest.
Everybody just always assumes I'm going to go along with everything.
And besides, I do want to see my brothers and sisters,
- and the whole family. - You're graduating college.
This is a time to bust out.
Not a time to go home and listen to the same stories you've heard 100 times.
You know something? You're right.
I mean, why do I have to do what everybody else wants me to do?
Exactly.
For once, I'm going to do what I wanna do.
And what do you want to do?
I don't know. Maybe I'll ask my folks.
- Oh, no. - Ha-ha-ha.
- Mike. Mike. - Ted.
- Glad you could come by, Mike. - Hey, what's up?
Well, you know what we're sitting on here?
We're not sitting on shale. We're sitting on solid granite.
Ted, I know what the soil is.
I still insist on a larger margin of safety here.
I own a lot of buildings. I never had any problems. Not one.
I want you to keep that perfect record.
That's the reason for the design modifications.
I figured you might change your mind after you talked to your wife.
I can't for the life of me understand why you'd want to involve Carol in this.
Because this is important to me.
I'm not asking you to do anything that's against the building code.
But you want heavier columns, and that requires larger footings.
And that's almost adding 10 percent to my cost.
- Now that's hitting me where I live. - Wait a minute, listen--
And there's nothing that indicates these modifications are necessary.
Ted, listen, you pay me for my experience and my expertise.
That's what I'm giving you.
You got anything else you want to show me?
There are other architects in town.
Well... be my guest.
If I don't see you for a while, Merry Christmas. Happy New Year.
[INTERCOM RINGING]
- Yes? WOMAN: Peter Brady is here.
Good. Send him in.
- Hello, Miss Thomas. - Come in, Mr. Brady.
[DOOR LOCKS]
- I just got a phone call from my folks. - And?
And they invited me home for the holidays.
- And? - And they want me to bring you along.
I always said they had good taste.
Well, I told them that I didn't think that you could make it.
Why not? I can rearrange our schedule so we can take the time off.
Besides, it'll give me a chance to meet all those brothers and sisters
you claim to have.
Maybe next year, okay?
- That still bothers you? - Yeah.
Things just worked out this way.
I know if I had a desk out there and you had a desk in here,
it would make you feel better.
Yeah.
I can't help it if I'm your boss, Peter.
And that only bothers me because it bothers you.
And it shouldn't, sweetheart
From 9 to 5 I may be the boss, but from 5 to 9...
- I am. Ha-ha-ha. - Heh, heh.
- I'd say it's about even, right? - Right.
Relationships are about two people.
- Not two-- - Valerie?
What?
Pete. What are you doing?
- Back to work, Peter. - Come on, Valerie.
Nine to 5, Peter.
[BOTH CLEAR THROATS]
One more for the road.
- Is the shimmy still there, Bobby? - No. You did it, Howie.
No, you did it. You figured it was the bar under the seat.
- I just used my brains, that's all. Ha, ha. - Heh, heh.
- Brady, you got a call. - Oh, thanks.
Hello?
Bub?
- Dad? - Yeah. Who'd you think it was?
Well, it's a little hard to hear.
Where are you? Sounds like an airport
No, it must be a bad connection.
Yeah, I called your room,
and your answering machine gave me this number.
I thought you were studying for exams.
Right. I am studying.
But I'm not in my room. I'm at the library.
[TIRES SCREECH]
Library? Sounds like a lot of traffic in your library.
They're doing some construction outside. I'll call you back.
No, no! Hang on a minute. I'll talk louder.
Listen, Bob. Your mom and I have canceled Japan and Greece,
and we're arranging for all you kids to come home for Christmas if you'd like.
- That's great! - Yeah, we're all going to be there.
Do you think you can make it, or do you have to study?
- No, I can make it. - What?
I said I can make it!
That's great. Look, I'll send you the ticket.
- Thanks, Dad. Bye. - What?
Bye!
I don't know how kids study with all that noise.
Let's go.
- What was all that about the library? - Oh, that was my dad.
He thinks I'm studying for my exams in business administration.
They don't know you dropped out of graduate school?
Not yet.
They'd be worried to death if they knew I wanted to be a racecar driver.
- When you going to tell them? - When the time is right.
- Maybe after I win the Indy 500. - Hey, that could be years away.
Meanwhile they won't worry.
[ENGINE STARTS]
MIKE: Wally and Marcia in our room with Jessica.
Jan and Phillip in the room that the girls used to have.
Greg and Nora in the exercise room.
I got Kevin and Mickey in the room that the boys used to have.
Yeah.
Peter and Bobby in the living room. And Cindy and Valerie in the den.
Just have to rent rollaway beds, you know,
and use sleeping bags and all that.
Excuse me for interrupting-- And it really sounds great.
--but where are we going to sleep?
How about two hammocks on the patio? Heh-heh-heh.
I have been waiting for years to say this to the great architect.
Back to the drawing board, Mr. Brady. Ha-ha-ha.
Wipe your feet.
Are you almost done?
I'm moving my things out with as much alacrity as I can.
I'd move out even more "alacritically" if I could.
Good.
[PHONE RINGS]
- Hello? - Hi, Jan.
- Oh, hi, Mom. - Didn't you get my messages?
Uh, yes. But we've been very busy.
- How's Phillip? - Oh, fine.
- Let me say hi to him. - All right.
It's my mother. Say "hello."
[GROANS]
- Hi, Mom. - Hi, Phillip. You sound out of breath.
- I've been, uh, exercising. Heh. - Good.
- Keep on doing what you're doing. - I plan to.
- So, uh, what's up? - Great news.
Japan and Greece are out.
Your brothers and sisters and their families
are all coming home for the holidays.
We'd love for you and Phillip to come too.
- Ahem. - Our treat. Isn't that great?
Perfect.
Well, I know that Phillip is busy during the semester,
but he isn't teaching over the holidays.
- Well, I would love to say yes, but-- - No buts. Put Phillip on.
Yes, Mom.
Hello, Mother. Did Jan talk to you?
- Oh, yes, she did and we're delighted. - You're delighted?
Yes. We can't wait to see you and Jan over the holidays.
Well, bye.
Well, wait--
[SIGHS]
Obviously, you didn't tell them we're separating.
Well, I didn't wanna spoil Christmas for everyone.
Besides, you didn't tell your folks.
No, I didn't.
But I didn't accept an invitation to a happy family get-together either.
Phillip, it's just for a few days.
Oh, the hypocrisy.
Please. Just for the sake of my family.
All right. For your family.
I'll go with you, but I don't have to like it.
My blanket. My fish.
[CHUCKLES]
- Excuse me? - What?
You're beaming.
Me? Beaming?
You're a beamer. There's no doubt about it.
Yep. You're right. I am guilty of beaming.
Oh, Mike, we have so much to be thankful for.
The kids are all healthy
and they're coming home with their families for the holidays.
Ted Roberts is finally out of our lives.
Yes. I have every right to be beaming.
Honey...
You wanna see me beam?
I'd love to.
But my folks are expecting our family.
Honey, this year my favorite aunt is coming to my parents' house.
I haven't seen Aunt Francis for six years.
I don't even know your Aunt Francis.
So that's why I have a suggestion to make.
A suggestion?
Kevin saw my parents last Christmas and the Christmas before.
My folks will understand if you go to your folks with Kevin.
Oh. You mean it?
I know how much you wanna see your family again
and I-- I don't wanna disappoint mine.
You know something, Nurse Brady? You're kind of special.
You're all right yourself, Dr. Brady. Heh-heh-heh.
Dr. Brady?
It's okay. I'm just teaching this nurse mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
[CLEARS THROAT]
[BOTH LAUGH]
Well, what's first?
Well, according to my calculations, all this sleep paraphernalia
will go into various sleeping quarters throughout Camp Brady.
Yes, sir, general.
Alice will meet them at the airport, collect the luggage,
and arrange for them to get here.
You mean we have to move all this stuff?
Yeah. Any questions?
- Yeah, just one? - What?
How do I transfer out of this chicken outfit?
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
[DOORBELL RINGS]
I'll bet it's Greg and Kevin.
I bet it's Marcia, Wally and the kids.
Could be Cindy. Or the mailman.
No, it's Valerie and Peter.
Peter and Valerie. You lose.
"Peter and Valerie. You lose." One hell of a greeting.
CAROL: Come on in, Valerie. - Hey, Dad.
- Merry Christmas. PETER: You look great.
Hi, Val. I'm so glad to see you. Merry Christmas. Come on in.
- Oh, gosh, it looks the same. - Oh, Mike. Mike, look.
- Don't they look perfect together? - They sure do.
[LAUGHS]
We made great time driving out. Is anybody else here yet?
Don't you hear the quiet? You're the first ones.
- But not for long. - Hi, Greg!
Hi, Kevin, you little devil. How are you? I'm so glad to see you.
I don't like it when people mess my hair.
Come on, I'm not people. I'm your grandpa.
I don't like it when grandpas mess my hair either.
Hoo-hoo-hoo.
Greg, Kevin, this is Valerie. Valerie, this is Greg and Kevin.
- Kevin is the one without the mustache. - Ha-ha-ha.
Come on, Kevin.
- Let's get something to eat, okay? - Here you go. Come on.
Now remember, you're not going to say anything.
Wally, everybody loses a job. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
- We still love you, Daddy. - Thank you.
Sure we do, Dad. Even if you're down and out.
- I'm not down and out. I-- - Kids, now remember,
your dad doesn't want Grandpa and Grandma to know
about Daddy losing his job. It'll be our little secret.
Even though I think he's being childish and pigheaded.
- I think he's being pigheaded too. - He is not.
- Is too. - Is not.
- Is too! - All right! Knock it off!
Kids, this is the way Daddy wants it. Okay?
- Okay. - Okay, pighead.
I am not a p-- Hi!
- Hi, Marcia. WALLY: Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas. Hey!
Hey, everybody, the Logans are here.
Hello.
- We made it. - Peter!
Hey, there, Mickey. How you doing?
Where's the slug?
Right this way.
WALLY: Mom. Look at you. - Wally, Wally, Wally! How you doing?
- You look great. - You too.
- Merry Christmas. - Hey!
Hi. Oh! You got so big! My goodness!
- Is this still the Bradys? - Bobby!
- Hi, guys. - Hi, Bobby.
- Hi, Greg. Good to see you. - Merry Christmas. Good to see you.
- Hi. - Hi, Cindy.
How did you get to be so tall?
You're a doctor. You know growth is a natural process.
Now, you changed your hair. No curls.
Greg, I haven't worn curls for 12 years.
I know. I know. I know.
- Bobby! Come here! GREG: Look who's here.
- Hi, Cindy. CAROL: Oh, look!
CINDY: You look so pretty. CAROL: So do you.
- Look at you. - Look at you!
- Oh, hi! - Hi!
[DOOR CLOSES]
- Room for any more? - Hey. Come on in!
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
Nice to have you here. It's been a while.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
- Honey, is that the doorbell? - What?
The doorbell!
Alice.
VALERIE: I have to tell you that I heard what's going on...
Merry Christmas. You want some help?
Alice. How long are you planning to stay?
Those kids were terrific.
You should have seen how sympathetic they were, Mrs. Brady.
Some blabbermouth told them all about Sam and me.
- Honest, Alice, it wasn't me. - I know. It was me.
It's nice to have family.
- Can we help, Mom? - Sure.
Here's the nutmeg.
Cindy, get the ladle. You know where it is.
Marcia's right there.
Remember how she used to love to stir the eggnog.
Heh. Yep. That's my idea of a good time.
Okay, Kevin. If you do it, I'll do it.
Mickey, leave him alone. He's going to break his neck.
So? Then I'll know it's dangerous.
Mickey, didn't I tell you not to slide down the banisters?
Yeah. But you told me there was a monster in the garbage disposal,
and there really wasn't.
[GUYS SINGING]
Kevin. Come here.
Deck the halls With boughs of holly
Fa-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la
'Tis the season to be jolly
Fa-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la
Don we now our gay apparel
Fa-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la
Troll the ancient Yuletide carol
Fa-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la
Oh, Mickey!
Mickey. Do you want to see your next Christmas?
- Yes. - Don't ever do that again.
- Deal. - Okay.
You tell him.
GREG: I hope you didn't hang that stuffed clown
you made in elementary school.
If I see that thing, I'm burning it this year.
That looks good, Pete. Who put this clown back here?
Pete-- Peter. Peter. Not going to work.
Sorry, Greg. I didn't see you there.
[ALL LAUGH]
GREG: Kevin, did you find your present under there? It's a big box.
- You're a lucky man, Wally. - I am?
Yeah. With your job at Tyler Toys, I'm sure you get free samples.
That's got to come in handy at Christmastime.
Oh, yeah. Heh. Yeah, that's just the way I look at it too.
I'm lucky. Lucky me. What kind of luck?
Well, I've gotta hand it to you, Bobby. You sure seem confident.
Me? Why? About what?
It's almost time for final exams and you didn't bring home one single book.
- Oh, that. Well... - Excuse me, Bobby,
- but I've been waiting to see you. - Oh, great.
I mean, I'm ready to be seen.
Anytime. What do you need?
Well, when you get your degree in business administration,
can you help me out with some financial advice?
- Uh, I'd love to, Alice, but... - But what?
Any firm I go to work for would probably want me to charge too much.
I remember when Sam gave me that first job at the butcher shop.
[CRIES]
What did you have to go and say Sam for?
[SOBBING]
I blew it, Mom.
Kids are so cute when they're asleep.
[LAUGHS]
Speaking of kids, have you two any ideas?
What did I say?
Just talking about marital bliss.
You know, I can't believe I'm finally getting to meet all of you.
Let's see if I make any mistakes. Greg and Bobby.
Marcia and Jan.
- Dopey. Happy- - And Bashful.
[LAUGH]
It's sure great being home, Mom.
But I miss Nora. I wish she were here.
CAROL: Oh, yeah. So do I, Greg.
- To Nora. - Yes. Thank you.
Okay, everybody. The tree's all ready.
- Who wants to put on the star? - Me, Grandpa! Me, me!
Okay, it's you, you, you. Come on. Greg, put him up on me shoulders.
Okay. Come on, Mickey! There you go! Up on Grandpa!
- There's your star. - Be careful.
PETER: Give you a hand here. - Be careful.
[ALL CHEER]
Okay. Hit the lights, Phil.
- Phillip. - Phillip.
WALLY: Good job, good job. BOBBY: Okay. Here we go.
Here come the lights!
ALL: Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride In a one-horse open sleigh, hey
[SIGHS]
- Mom. Why is it so quiet? - Mickey's not here.
It's nice, isn't it?
It's too quiet. It gives me time to think about losing my job.
When I think about losing my job, I worry.
When I worry, I get nervous.
When I get nervous, I start grinding my teeth.
When I start grinding my teeth, I think about going to the dentist.
And you know he always finds something wrong.
And everything that he finds wrong always costs a lot of money.
And so then I start thinking about the bill he's going to send me,
and how I'm going to pay for all that dental work.
And it's dental work I wouldn't need, if I didn't start grinding my teeth
because I was worried about my job that I lost in the first place! Ugh!
It would be easier to have Mickey here.
- I'm not pleased about this. - You think I am?
My parents think a double bed is appropriate.
- I don't like this any more than you do. - In that case...
Seems like old times, doesn't it, Bobby?
Just about. Heh.
Hey, listen, now that we're all grown up,
do you mind being called Bobby?
No. There have been a lot of great men named Bobby.
Well, yeah, like, um, Bobby Kennedy.
And Bobby Unser, Bobby Allison, Bobby Rahal...
Hey, those guys are racecar drivers. They're hardly great men.
What? Bobby Unser won the Indy 500 three times.
And when Bobby Rahal won it in '86, he averaged over 170 miles an hour.
- And Bobby Allison was the number-- - All right, Bobby. All right.
How come you know so much about racecar drivers?
It's a hobby.
You spend that much time with your hobby,
I'm surprised you have enough time for your studies.
- Peter, can I talk to you? - Sure.
I mean, really talk.
Yeah.
What's up?
I'm not in school anymore.
What?
Mom and Dad are always telling me how well you're doing in school.
They don't know.
- Well... when did you drop out? - A year ago.
Are you racing cars?
- Yup. - Heh.
I know Mom and Dad would think it was too dangerous.
They want me in business school adding assets and debits.
When are you going to tell them?
That's a big decision. I kind of wanted your advice.
Oh.
Bobby, I can't even make
big decisions for myself.
- Your career's going great, isn't it? - Yeah.
I can't make up my mind about Valerie.
Well, that's easy.
I'll make up your mind for you. She's great.
I know she's great, Bobby.
No one knows that better than I do.
Well, do you want to marry her?
Yeah.
But she's my boss. She makes more money than I do.
$0?
It bothers me.
Look, if you add your salaries together and divide by two,
you both make exactly the same.
[CHUCKLES]
Yeah, I guess you're right.
And who's to say you're always going to be making less?
And even if you do make less, does it really matter?
Hey, now, wait a minute, I thought you were asking me for advice.
Well, Pete, a person has to face a problem head-on.
You got a point, Bobby.
Yeah, I guess I do.
Thanks for the advice.
I always wished I had a big brother or a big sister
to help me work things out.
Yeah. Well, I'll tell you something. I have always been a little sister.
And I've always been expected to do what everybody else wants.
- But you've got such a great family. - I know, I know. And I like being here.
But I was told to come home.
Nobody asked me. They told me.
Peter wasn't sure whether he wanted me to come at all. Heh, heh.
Why?
He can't seem to make up his mind about me.
[SCOFFS]
You know, he's my brother, and I love him, but he's an idiot.
Hold on a second. You're calling the man I love an idiot.
Yes. Look, does the idiot love you too?
Yeah.
So, what's the problem? Does he want to marry you?
Heh. Yeah.
So, what's the problem?
The problem is...
I have a higher position at the company than he does.
So... the idiot won't ask me.
- So ask him. - What?
Valerie, you're an independent woman. You have your rights.
If the idiot won't ask you, ask the idiot.
- Heh, heh. I can't do that. - Why not?
Heh. Yeah.
Why not?
- You know something, Cindy? - Mm?
People really should listen to you.
Would you mind spreading the word to the rest of the family?
- Ha, ha. Sure. - Thanks.
Thanks.
That's okay. I'm used to it.
What do you mean "used to it?"
You always fell asleep in the strangest places
while you were doing research or grading papers.
And you'd cover me?
Did you think there was a blanket fairy?
I never really thought about it.
I know.
Kevin. Wake up.
- What? - I gotta go to the bathroom.
Well, go ahead.
I'm not going alone.
Ugh.
- Hey. Where are you two guys going? - The bathroom.
- Have a good time. - Kevin wanted me to take him.
MICKEY: Look at the presents. - I know.
BOBBY: Who's that?
- Me, Uncle Bobby. - Me too.
We're going to the bathroom.
One thing, Uncle Peter. Where is the bathroom?
Uh, It's up there. First door on your right.
CINDY: Hey, you two. Out of here!
We thought you girls were the bathroom.
It's the second door.
- It's the second door. - Yeah!
- You sent them in there on purpose. - Uh-huh.
Valerie wanted to know what it was like to have a big family.
[BOTH LAUGH]
Hi.
- Thought I heard someone out here. - Yeah. I couldn't sleep.
- Why not? I got Mickey with me. - Ha, ha.
You want a piece of pie?
- Sure. - Okay.
- Looks like one of Alice's specials. - It is.
Here, let the doctor make the incision.
Professional.
- Yeah, I couldn't sleep either. - Yeah.
I'm not used to being without Nora.
Thought we heard one of Alice's pies being sliced.
- What are you guys doing up? - Couldn't sleep.
- Yeah. I got things on my mind. - Well, here.
Nothing like a piece of pie to cure insomnia.
Thanks, doc.
Honey?
What time is it?
- Mike? - Huh?
Now. I don't like that "Mike."
You say "Mike" like that and something's bothering you.
What is it?
Well, do you think that everything's okay with the kids?
- Why? - I don't know.
- I just have this feeling that something-- - Uh-oh.
Here it comes. Women's intuition, huh?
Well, you know I'm usually right about these things. Heh.
There's nothing to worry about.
- You think so? - Sure. I know so. Trust me.
- Everything's going to be perfect. - Okay.
I guess you're right.
- Come on. Let's go to sleep. - Okay.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
CAROL: Jan, Phillip?
Time to get up. Breakfast is ready.
[BOTH GRUNTING]
Jan? Phillip?
- Uh, Merry Christmas. - Merry...
Merry Christmas.
Heh.
Time to get up, Phillip.
Yeah, I just--
- We can explain, Mom. - Yeah.
We haven't exactly been sleeping in the same bed lately.
Ha, ha. We haven't exactly been sleeping in the same house.
Yeah, we've been having, um, problems.
Well, Phillip thinks I don't love him anymore.
Well, you don't.
Well, why would I get out of bed to cover you with a blanket?
- I don't know. Pity? - He even said thanks.
He hasn't thanked me in months.
Moving from associate professor to full professor
has made him impossible.
- Well, I have my work. - Okay. You have your work.
You know, being an architect isn't easy either.
But I made time for us.
To me, a husband and wife are more important
than the migrating habits of the Graylake goose.
- Graylag goose. - Ugh. Graylag goose. Sorry.
I didn't even know you knew it was a goose.
Of course I knew it was a goose. I was proud of that research.
But that goose kept you from being there
the day we cut the ribbon on the Mansfield project.
I had to make personal sacrifices.
I know.
It's just that I didn't want to be one of those personal sacrifices.
You mean, you really covered me every night with a blanket?
Yes.
- Jan? - What?
Perhaps we should've discussed this before it was too late.
Phillip, if it were too late,
do you really think we would have come here
to spend Christmas together?
- Oh, Jan. - Yes?
- Maybe we should... - What?
Have our discussion.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Mm. Oh.
Thanks, Morn, for bringing us back together.
- Thanks, Mom. - Me? All I said was, "Time to get up."
You can be late for breakfast.
Get a chance to exercise on the road much?
No. My work keeps me pretty busy. Pretty, pretty busy.
Gotta be sure to take free time when you can, Wally.
You know what they say, "All work and no play..."
Right. I'll have to remember that next time I'm not so busy working--
- Hey, Leonard! Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas, Mike.
- Doing your 8 o'clock feeding? - Yeah, you can set your clock by it.
This is my son-in-law, Wally Logan. Wally, this is Leonard Prescott.
- Marcia, Jan, or Cindy? - Marcia. Hi.
- Nice to meet you. - Good to meet you.
- This is Mickey. - Named after you, Mike?
Well, he couldn't be named after me, could he?
- Mickey. - Mickey's right.
Got a good sense of logic, that kid.
You and Wally have a lot in common.
Leonard's Leonard Prescott of Prescott Toys.
- Really? Prescott Toys? - Yeah.
He makes toys, you sell them.
- Is that right? - Yeah. Yeah.
Mike, remember I told you
my best salesman relocated about a month ago?
- I wonder if Wally would be interested... - Phew. Well...
Oh, no, no. I don't think so.
I mean, from what I know about it, Wally's number one man at Tyler Toys.
Yeah, but I-- You know--
No chance of my stealing Tyler's star salesman?
Well, you never know.
Why don't you talk to Wally about that?
Now, that's a good idea Mr. Prescott. Talk to Wally.
- I'll see you back at the house, Dad. - Yeah. See you, Leonard.
- We got to jog along. Come on, Mick. - See you later.
- Thank you, Mickey. - For what?
For telling me your dad can play with you all day
because he doesn't have to work anymore.
- Oh, that was nothing. - No. That's something.
- A little over there. - Yeah. Oh, no, this is great.
- This is-- What kind is that one? - That's a zinnia.
- Yeah, that's beautiful. - Wanna race?
Race? Go!
I'll beat you.
GREG: Hey, what's going on here, guys?
Gotta get in there.
MIKE: Now, if you'll tilt the whole...
[VALERIE LAUGHS]
- I got a head start - Don't give him too much.
Sure smells good.
Alice, I told you before,
you are not our housekeeper anymore.
Now, we have a place right here for you to sit down.
I'm sorry, Mrs. Brady. First I serve, then I sit.
Everything's about ready, folks.
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]
MIKE: You sit over here. CINDY: Come on, guys.
PHILLIP: Oh, it looks so good. CAROL: Wait till you see the turkey.
MIKE: That smell is so good. - Yep.
I am hungry.
[GLASS CLINKS]
Your attention, ladies and gentlemen.
- What about us kids? - Yes, you kids too.
A few months ago,
your mother and I celebrated our 20th anniversary.
Twenty years ago, Carol and you three girls,
and I and you three boys, came together
and in time became one.
Now, that one has grown.
So this is a very special Christmas for your mother and me,
to have so many members of our family
all gathered here together in this house.
We realize, of course, that for some of you
it was more difficult getting here than for others...
But we're here.
That's the important thing.
We're family.
We've learned to face problems together.
We've learned to be honest with each other.
We found out that some day's difficulties
turn into the next day's blessings.
I believe that we find our strength
in God and each other.
- Mike, can I say something? - Sure, Wally.
- Oh, boy. Here it comes. - Shh. Mickey.
Well, I haven't been honest with the family.
I lost my job. And because I wasn't honest,
I almost lost a wonderful new job I got from Mr. Prescott.
So I'd just like to tell everyone that I'm sorry.
Don't be sorry. Just be Wally.
Hear, hear.
Sorry, folks, I was just looking for those pies I baked for dessert, and I--
Well, I guess I'll go back in the kitchen,
and try and figure out what happened to them.
Wally.
Wally?
ALL: Wally! - Hm?
I wasn't necessarily talking about you.
I think you were talking about me, Dad.
I was?
Yeah.
Mom, Dad, I haven't been honest with you either.
I didn't really want to come home for Christmas.
You didn't?
Well, I did.
But see, the girls, they planned this big ski weekend,
and I was supposed to go.
But then you called and I felt that I had to be here.
I wanted to be here.
I just don't know why nobody asked me.
I mean, I just wish sometimes
that everybody would stop thinking of me as little Cindy
and start looking at me as someone older.
- I do, Aunt Cindy. - Well, thank you, Mickey.
- Me too. - Me too.
Cindy...
Sometimes parents have a difficult time
realizing that their children are grown up
and capable of making their own decisions.
Especially, when it's their youngest.
You're right.
We should have asked you to come home instead of telling you.
Sorry.
I agree. But you made a good choice.
[LAUGH]
Cindy, would you like to come over now and sit with us at the big table?
Oh, Morn. Heh. Thanks for asking, but we've got a game going here.
And I wasn't necessarily speaking of you either.
Dad, were you necessarily talking about me?
- No. - Well, good.
But I'm just going to come right out and say what I have to say anyway.
I never wanted to hurt you either...
but I'm not in graduate school anymore.
I dropped out a year ago to become a racecar driver.
I looked everywhere for those pies, and--
I guess I'll keep on looking.
Bobby. A racecar driver?
It's what I've always wanted to do.
And I know that you and Dad really want me
- to finish my business courses-- - Yes, we do.
[SCOFFS]
We've always wanted you to be happy too.
Driving is what makes me happy, so that's what I'm doing.
Whether we approve or not?
- Yes. - Bobby, it's so dangerous.
Oh, Bob.
[SIGHS]
Well...
I didn't always do what my parents wanted me to do.
Did you?
No.
It's your decision to make.
If racing doesn't work out, I promise I'll go back to business school.
But right now this is what I need to do.
Fair enough.
Be careful, Bobby.
And win.
All right, Bobby. The checkered flag.
Now, where was I?
I guess you were getting around to me, Dad.
I was?
No, I think you were getting around to me.
Don't let her talk, Dad. She's not in the family.
Is this a good time for me to talk about the missing pies?
- No, Alice. - No.
I'm going to leave the rest of my speech till after dinner.
Thanks to Cindy's advice, I've been doing a lot of thinking.
- I've come to a conclusion. - Well, so have I.
We're in an equal society now. Women can make decisions too.
Well, certain things are a man's prerogative.
Not anymore. Not when men take too long to make up their minds.
Excuse me. I have a feeling a question is about to be asked.
- Yeah. - Yes.
I have an idea. Why don't I count to three,
and then you can both ask the question at the same time.
How's that?
Well, that's okay with me if it's okay with her.
Valerie?
- I can live with that. - Good. Okay. Here we go.
One, two--
- Peter, will you marry me? - Valerie, will you marry me?
That's the dumbest proposal I ever heard.
Don't you know to get down on one knee?
Oh, I'm so happy for you.
ALICE: What happened? Did you find the pies?
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Oh, I'll get it.
[RINGING CONTINUES]
Coming.
- Nora! - Alice.
Oh, Merry Christmas.
- Hi! - Nora.
Hi! Oh, my sweetheart, I have missed you!
- Hi, sweetie. - Hi.
- What are you doing here? - I got there and I saw my folks,
and I saw Tom and Tricia, and Trent and Tim,
- and Terry and Tina and Tony. - And your Aunt Francis?
Yes. She came in, she gave me a big kiss hello,
she asked where you were. And I told her about our arrangement.
And then I said to myself:
"Well, Nora, you've seen Aunt Francis and everyone.
Now it's time to go back to your husband and your son."
And so here I am.
- Did I miss anything? - Yes.
But please don't ask us to start at the beginning.
- Merry Christmas. - Good to see you.
- Grab that chair for her. - Go ahead, Nora, take a seat.
- How about right here? BOBBY: Merry Christmas.
[ALICE VOCALIZING]
Uh-oh. Drum roll.
Look at that.
[CLAMORING]
WALLY: That is gorgeous. CAROL: Get ready.
[PHONE RINGS]
- Oh, I'll get the phone, Mr. Brady. - Who in the world could that be?
I don't know. I thought the whole world was here. Ha-ha-ha.
Brady residence. Merry Christmas.
Well, yes, he is. But he's just about to carve the turkey.
Oh, I see. Well, just a moment, please.
It's for you, Mr. Brady.
It's, uh, Mr. Ted Roberts. It sounds important.
I'll only be a minute. Don't anybody touch the bird.
- Honey, hang that up for me, will you? - Sure, Dad.
- Who's Ted Roberts? - Ebenezer Scrooge.
I hope he's not calling with a lot of bah and humbug.
- Oh. I'm so hungry I could eat a... - Graylag goose.
- Ha-ha-ha. - A graylag goose.
I'm sorry, everybody.
There's been a little trouble at a construction site.
I don't think I'll be long. Go on without me.
ALL: Aww.
Trouble at the Roberts' job.
They've had a cave-in, and two security guards are trapped.
Why didn't they call the architect who replaced you?
Everybody's out of town for the holidays.
I'm the only one they thought could help them. I've got to go.
- Mike. - Yeah?
- Be careful. - I will, honey.
Didn't even get a chance to finish my speech. Heh.
Merry Christmas.
Yeah. Merry Christmas.
[CHATTERING]
[SIREN BLARES]
Keep the crowds back, men.
I don't want anybody near the entrance to the building site.
Let's move back, folks. Move back, please. Move back.
From what we understand,
there are two men trapped in the cave-in,
and as long as the supports hold, they'll be safe.
Now, we've been told that someone is on his way with a plan to rescue them.
In fact, someone's coming this way.
Perhaps that's the man they've been waiting for.
Excuse me, sir. Are you the architect or the engineer?
- No, I'm not. - What have they told you so far?
Can you give us a statement, sir?
Okay, apparently there's no time for an interview.
But as soon as we get it, we'll pass it on to you.
- Ted. - Mike, I'm glad you're here.
- How bad is it? - Nothing like this
has ever happened to me before, Mike. If I thought- Ah.
Let me check it out.
Now, we're going to try to come to you throughout the day as events warrant.
But in the meantime, back to you in the studio.
I can hear them. But you can't get to them.
The forms have shifted off the foundations.
Is there anyone around here who can handle that Cat?
Yeah, sure, I can handle it.
It's been a while, but I was a construction foreman.
All right. Take it around the south side. Start trenching over there.
Yeah, but won't that cause it to collapse further?
Ted. It's the only way I know how to relieve the stress.
Whatever you say, Mike.
- Come on, get to it. - Okay.
[METAL CREAKING]
Mike?
Mike!
REPORTER: From what we've been able to learn, a local architect,
Mike Brady, is still in the collapsed building,
where two security guards are known to be trapped.
Mrs. Brady, we understand that your husband is in there
- trying to rescue the two men. - Yes, he is.
You must be very, very proud of him.
Of course we're all proud of him, but that's not going to help much. It--
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
Great! Here come the men.
Carol, the trenching shifted the stress just like he said it would.
- But where's Dad? - Oh, my God, Mr. Roberts.
- Where's Mike? - Mom, I'm going in.
- No, Greg! It's too dangerous! - My dad's in there!
Get back, come on. Get back.
- We heard a noise. - We went into see what happened.
- Then it all came down. - Where's Mike?
- He was right behind us. - There's only one support left.
He must be trapped.
I'm sorry, Carol. Mike is still in there.
[GRUNTING]
Two men were rescued earlier, but one still remains trapped inside.
Ironically, he's the man who set them free.
Structural investigators have refused to allow rescue workers
to enter the building to save the third man,
pending the arrival of the safety commission.
Mom.
Hey, do you remember that Christmas when you lost your voice?
I was a little kid then.
But I remember I asked Santa Claus to give you your voice back.
And we all prayed about it. And you did. You got your voice back.
Remember?
Daddy, Daddy!
Heh, heh. What are you so excited about, sweetie?
Santa's going to give Mommy her voice back for Christmas.
He's what?
He promised Mommy can sing on Christmas morning.
Oh, honey, how could he do that? He's not a doctor.
He's better than a doctor. He's Santa Claus.
I remember, Cindy.
Joyful and triumphant
Oh, come ye
To Bethlehem
Come and behold him
Born the king of angels...
Oh, Mom, I wish I still believed in Santa Claus.
Sweetheart, big girls can have wishes too.
Oh, come all ye faithful
Joyful and triumphant
Oh, come ye
Oh, come ye to Bethlehem
Come and behold him
Born the king of angels
Oh, come let us adore him
Christ the Lord
Oh, come all ye faithful
Joyful and triumphant
Oh, come ye
Oh, come ye to Bethlehem
Come and behold him
Born the king of angels
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
Folks, this is a Christmas story with a really happy ending.
And I just noticed the street sign on the corner.
It looks like another miracle on 34th Street.
MICKEY: This is great.
Alice, this is the best Christmas dinner
in the history of reheated Christmas dinners.
Hear, hear, hear.
Well, it would have been better if it had had my pies.
[ALL GROAN]
Alice, we confess.
The whole bunch of us finished off those pies last night.
- That's terrible. - What bunch? I didn't get any.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
- Yep-- Sit still. I'll get the door. - When do I get to finish my speech?
Oh, honey, give that up, why don't you.
Coming, coming, coming, coming.
Santa!
Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas!
Ho, ho, ho!
- Santa! - Santa Claus! Oh, Santa!
- Santa! - Merry Christmas, Santa!
If you're really Santa Claus, where's your bag of presents?
Oh, sorry, kids. I just have one present. For Alice.
Phoo.
Oh, I didn't mean to break up your Christmas dinner.
- I'm sorry, folks. - Well, that's all right, Santa.
Whoever you are.
Did you say you had a present for me?
- Yeah. I brought you me. - Sam?
It's Sam.
I've been a fool, Alice. It's Christmas. Please have the spirit.
Do you have it in your heart to take me back?
Sam, don't you ever do anything like that again.
Oh, I won't. I promise.
You're top sirloin.
Next to you, everybody else is just chopped liver.
Looks like we all got our Christmas wishes.
We wish you a Merry Christmas.
We wish you a Merry Christmas We wish you a Merry Christmas
And a happy new year
ALL: Merry Christmas!