Hello, there.
Welcome.
Mr. Grollman, let me introduce the Mandelbaums.
Good morning.
Please come in.
-Take a seat, please. -Sit over there.
Richard Grollman.
-Pleasure. -Thank you.
Mr. and Mrs. Mandelbaum.
Please, I... I'm a "doctor," not a "mister."
Doctor. Of course.
Well, it is an important day for both you and for us.
We want to make your settling in to Cliffside Manor
as comfortable as possible.
Well, I think of it more
as an unfortunate day than an important one.
What kind of a doctor were you?
I specialized in cardiac and GI disease,
and before that I was an internist.
Internal medicine has changed over the years.
Tell me about it.
Do you have any questions, Mrs. Mandelbaum?
Uh, no blanks or statements.
So, all of your clothes are labeled?
Yes, our names are on everything.
Good. Uh, let's start with valuables.
Uh, uh, we both have gold rings.
Do you ever take those off?
-No. -Good.
Um, anything else?
Yes, my wife has a fur coat.
That's not allowed, Mr. Mandelbaum.
It's Dr. Mandelbaum. I'm not a "mister,"
and I could not bring her without the fur coat.
-It makes her happy. -I understand, Mr. Mandelbaum--
Dr. Mandelbaum--
but we can't be responsible for a fur coat.
I don't care, okay?
Okay, I'll make a note.
Abe?
-Abe? Abe? -Oh, God.
-Abe, where am I?
Molly! Molly, everything's okay. Everything's fine.
This is our new home.
All is well. I love you.
I love you very much.
It's all right.
Here, Molly. That's good.
This is a good chair. Here.
-Hi. -Phil Nicoletti.
Dr. Abe Mandelbaum.
-This is my wife, Molly. -Hello, Molly. How are you?
So, what brings you here to this home, Phil?
You got a half hour?
Cataracts, diabetes, sleep apnea,
stenosis of the back, four slipped discs, cancer.
Well, I'm sorry to hear that.
What am I going to say?
I'm passing through? I'm on vacation?
-Well, you're looking good. -Abe,
there are three ages in life, I think: You're young,
you're middle aged, and "you're looking good."
How about you, Abe? What brings you here?
My wife.
She's...
I couldn't keep her home anymore.
-And you? -Oh, I'm okay.
I've had... I had, um, you know,
heart trouble a little bit and a minor stroke.
I'm okay.
Can I help you?
What's happening here?
I think she's dying. Somebody come over here!
I think she's dying.
Damn it! Come over here!
- Oh, my God. - Take care of the doctor.
Jesus Christ.
Abe, honey.
Abe.
- Abe! - Baby.
Come on.
Oh! Oh, there you are.
Molly...
Oh, I was scared.
-What happened? -It's okay.
Debbie, you think maybe you can get him some water?
Okay.
-Abe... -Yeah?
That woman died. They took her away.
-Abe, what happened to you? -I guess I passed out.
I...
I hate it when people die.
Vacant look in their eye--
I mean, you just never get used to it.
I saw it once.
I never want to see it again.
-Who are you? -Oh, I'm Angela.
Curly Bryant. I'm 84.
I've been here two years. I like it.
-Who you got here, Curly? -I don't know.
-You're his granddaughter? -Oh, uh, no.
I'm a new nurse here.
I was a boxer at the Elliot Street Gym.
Golden Gloves champion.
-Oh, wow. -He was a janitor.
Got hit in the head too many times.
I'm Jennilee Dublan. Curly's my boyfriend.
Can't be too picky. There aren't many eligible men here.
Mr. Grollman?
Hello, Doctor.
What was it you wanted to discuss?
Well, uh, my wife, Molly, has a fur coat,
and I'd like you to see to it that your staff
realizes that she has the right to keep it.
You need to sign a waiver.
We're not liable for the coat.
Any other questions?
What prompted you to want to be director of this place?
I... hate old people.
I've lost some hearing. I think...
you either said, "I hate old people"
or "I ate old people,"
but either way, it doesn't make a lot of sense.
I said, "I hate old people."
Well...
Is this some kind of a joke?
Why would I tell you a joke?
Look what happened to you the other day at lunch.
Your wife has permission to keep her coat.
Uh, thank you.
Where did you work before?
Um, at a children's hospital.
Folks here on the fourth floor might as well be babies.
Feed 'em, clean 'em, put 'em in wheelchairs in the hall,
then back in bed and lift up the side rails.
How long have you worked here?
Four years, but I only work on the fourth floor
a few months of the year.
And how big is the floor? How many men?
Twenty-four people, six men.
Time to clean Billy.
Want to try or watch me first?
Um, I'll watch.
One thing you got to know is,
you're going to want to breathe through your mouth.
Billy! You may feel some pressure, okay?
All right.
There we go.
♪ Now, if you get there before I do ♪
♪ Coming for to carry me home ♪
♪ Tell all my friends
♪ That I'll be coming too
♪ Coming for to carry me home
♪ Swing low, sweet chariot
♪ Coming for to carry me home
These two old guys are in a restaurant, and they're reading about
how the college kids run naked through the classrooms.
And one guy says to the other, he says, "That's a good idea.
We got nothing else to do. Let's do it."
So they go balls-ass naked, running through the rest home.
They pass two old women,
and one of them says, "Did you see what just passed?"
And the other says, "Yes, and did you see what they were wearing?"
She said, "Yes, and it needed ironing."
Aw, come on, it's a great joke.
It's a joke. I'm not sure it's great.
Are you suggesting that you and I
run through this place naked?
It would take us too long to get our clothes off.
They would probably tie us to our beds.
Yeah.
Oh.
I-- I remember a joke, a dirty joke.
-You? -Yeah.
-A dirty joke? -Yeah.
Shame all over you. Go for it.
Okay. This guy...
is an old guy, and there's a knock on his door,
and he opens the door, and there's a woman there
wearing a short mini skirt and a low blouse,
and she's got piles of makeup on, and she says,
"I'm here to give you a present."
And he says, "What's the present?"
And she says, "Super sex."
And he says, "Super sex?" And she--
Doc! Doc! Quick!
No! Oh, look at the mess you've made here!
Oh, God.
I think we're going to have to sedate her.
No! No meds!
-Get away from me! -I know what she needs!
Molly! Molly!
Oh!
Let's put your coat on.
Oh!
She's okay.
- Hello. - Hi.
You're not supposed to be smoking here.
Yeah, I'm not sure if I really care.
What's the matter?
Nothing.
Well, something's the matter.
I mean, you're pacing, you're smoking, you're...
I mean, something must be wrong.
I'm all right.
I'm Abe Mandelbaum.
I'm Angela.
Donadio, my last name.
It's a pleasure meeting you.
Abe...
come over here.
-What? -Abe, I wanna clink on you.
No, wait, wait, wait.
Let me just put my arms around you.
It's late, it's late, it's late.
It's time to sleep, my darling.
Oh. Oh, come on, Abe.
No. No, I...
It's time to sleep.
I can't do it anymore. You know that.
-It doesn't work. -Try, Abe.
Try for me, huh?
Okay, I...
I'll help you, Molly.
Oh, my darling.
I love you, Abe.
I love you.
Oh.
Oh, Abe, don't cry.
Don't cry.
No.
It's all right, my darling.
I love you.
So, have a family?
No. Uh, I was never married, so I got no kids.
Nobody to come and see me. There's a lot of people in here like that.
The things that gave me pleasure in my life
were baseball, poker, and fucking.
But not in that order.
Why don't you finish telling me that joke you were telling me? Sounds interesting.
-What? -The one where the beautiful woman knocks on the door
and says, "I have a birthday present for you."
Yeah. Okay.
Uh, she says, "I've got a present for you,"
and he says, "What's the present?"
And she says, "Super sex," and she pinches his cheek.
and he says, "Super sex?"
And he thinks for a minute, and then he says,
"I'll take the soup."
That's so funny, it hurts. I wish it didn't apply to me.
Yeah.
It's been five years since I've had an erection.
It all began when Molly became sick.
Ah, you know,
she may be losing her mind, but not her desire.
I'm the one who's failing.
So you can't get it up anymore. That's been my problem for years.
Oh, yeah, I loved sex.
Nothing I like better than a good fuck.
My record making a woman come is nine times.
Nine times.
How many women have you slept with?
A few hundred.
-No! -Yeah.
You want names?
Don't tell me that you can remember all their names.
-Every name. -What?
I had a system.
Every time I'd screw a woman,
I'd put her name on the list,
and then I would recite the list to myself
two or three times a week before going to sleep.
It was like counting sheep.
My God.
The last one was named Gloria.
She was a beautiful woman.
And I knew I was in trouble, because...
I only got hard once, right,
and then I couldn't get hard again.
And, uh, she was a sweet soul.
She was trying to help me. She used a feather.
She put syrup on my dick and licked it off.
Am I being too graphic for you?
-No, no, no. -Yeah?
And then, uh,
nothing worked, nothing could happen,
and I was so embarrassed, I just...
-You know what I did? -What?
I put my head in her lap...
and I cried like a baby.
Hey, nothing wrong with crying, Phil.
You know, Abe,
if I had had a gun that day, I would have shot myself.
It was so much a part of me.
I went to the doctor, and they discovered the diabetes.
I tried those pills they have these days,
but they didn't do shit.
And there I was, a 54-year-old Italian man...
with sweet blood and a soft dick.
♪ Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream ♪
♪ Merrily, merrily, merrily merrily ♪
♪ Life is but a dream
♪ Row, row, row your boat
- ♪ Gently down the stream - One more.
♪ Merrily, merrily, merrily merrily ♪
♪ Life is but a dream
Hey, there.
I haven't seen you around lately.
It's good to see you without a cigarette.
Oh.
Yeah, well, smoking is the least of my problems.
What kind of problems?
Okay.
I'm adopted.
My adoptive father died when I was in high school,
and six months ago,
my adoptive mother passed away.
And... since then,
I've just felt like an orphan all over again,
and I started having these nightmares.
What kind of nightmare?
That I'm trapped in this giant house,
and I can't get out.
I just keep going from one room to another.
I'm 35. You know, I'm not married.
I'm an only child.
I can't stay trapped inside this house forever.
Yeah, what kind of cancer was it?
Colon. I took a crap one day.
There was blood, and right away they were cutting me up.
-But it never metastasized. -No.
According to them, the results are negative,
but I developed cataracts and now I don't see very well.
-Oh. Mind if I take a look? -No, not at all.
Oh, yeah. I can see your cataracts.
-Yeah. -Anything else?
-Uh, no, no. -Oh.
I'm glad you're here.
Hello, Sadie.
- Want to get together? We can get busy later. - Stop it.
-She doesn't even know what the fuck I'm talking about. -Stop it. Stop it.
Hi, Sister Elizabeth? I really need your help.
I told you the last time you were here, Angela.
I checked on the adoption records, but I couldn't find anything.
Yeah, something happened since the last time we spoke.
I received a note.
Do you know who sent this?
I have no idea.
Well, what are you going to do?
Well I went to visit Cliffside Manor,
and then... I took a job there.
Do you think that's crazy?
It's not crazy if you really want to find him.
Who am I, Sister?
I... I'm afraid I'm just a mistake.
Come sit.
You are who you are,
no matter how you were conceived.
You are many things, Angela,
but you are not a mistake.
I'm just worried that this is a bad idea.
I know you don't think I should be looking for my birth parents,
but I... I feel like I have no choice.
How am I supposed to know who I am
if I don't know where I came from?
Follow your heart, Angela.
I can't stop thinking about that note, you know?
I mean, who wrote it?
Was it my mother? And...
I just keep looking at all of these men's faces
and wondering if one of them is my father.
I don't know how else to ask you,
but, um, did you ever...
Angela, I think I've told you before.
Molly and I could not have children.
We tried. And tried.
Now, that is a nice picture.
You've got to be kidding.
Well, here.
Try again.
How's everyone doing here?
How's the drawing going?
-Oh, I'm-I'm Abe Mandelbaum. -I'm Sheryl.
-Hello, Sheryl. -Hello, Abe.
Maybe you want to draw something.
Why not?
What?
What do you think?
Why are you drawing this?
Well, I like drawing houses.
Are you making fun of me?
No.
Look, young lady, I happen to be a doctor,
and I happen to know that my drawing is infantile.
And I thought you were here to help people and not mock them.
I didn't mean to mock you. I didn't mean to hurt you.
Well, okay, then.
Let's forget about the pictures.
Who-- Who are you?
I'm a volunteer.
I like being with old folks.
-Eh, it's no fun being old. -I know. I hate it too.
Yeah, but you're... you're not old.
-I'm 54. -I'm 83.
My face is...
getting awful,
but none of the plastic surgeons will operate.
What's to operate on?
Well, the pits on my face. They're very painful.
You don't have pits on your face.
I do.
It's just, you can't see them, but I can feel them.
Oh.
I used to be a singer,
but my voice isn't good anymore.
Are you married?
Divorced.
Children?
Yeah, I have one,
but I don't see him much.
Are you married?
You know, I'm curious about that.
-What's in there? -Photographs.
Oh.
When I was 16,
I went to Florida to visit my uncle,
and one day a man with a big camera around his neck
asked if he could take my picture.
He said I was so beautiful that
he could take pictures of me forever.
-Wow. -Hmm.
And then he took me to California to make me a star.
I took modeling and singing lessons,
but nothing ever came of it.
You know.
And now...
my face is changing.
I look so old.
No, you don't.
You don't look old. You look beautiful.
You want to see my photographs?
-Yes, I'd love to. -Okay.
Wow.
-Long time ago. -Mm-hmm.
Wow.
These are beautiful.
But I'll tell you something--
You are still beautiful.
-Really? -Really.
I like you.
I like being with you.
What's the matter?
What is it?
Uh, nothing. I'm fine.
I have to go now, Abe.
Let's talk again soon, okay?
Yeah, I'd love to.
Oh, my God.
Molly? You won't believe what happened to me.
I have a surprise for you.
Oh, God!
Oh, God.
Oh, Phil!
You're not going to believe what happened to me.
You got laid.
I'm sorry. I got a one-track mind.
Well you're in the right ball park.
-What ball park? -Well, I mean, women. Getting laid.
-You got laid? -No.
-You almost got laid? -No.
-You were with a woman? -Yes.
Well, what good is it? You can't do anything.
-But I did. -You did what?
I got hard.
You got hard?
-Yeah. -So did you stick it in her?
The whole point to have it is to stick it in her, Doctor.
-That's what it's for. -But I didn't have the chance.
So what did you do? Play with yourself?
-Yes, on my bed. -Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.
Hey, hey, hey. Don't take this away from me. It's all I've got.
Look, if you get a hard-on, you're supposed to stick it in a woman.
-That's what a hard-on is for. -I just think you're jealous.
Jealous? You know, go fuck yourself.
-Fuck you! Hey! -No, fuck you!
You're just an old man who wants to be called "Doctor."
I'm old, yes, but I am a doctor
and I know you're going to be dead soon, you...
Oh, Jesus.
What do you mean?
I'm sorry.
I saw it in your eyes. They're jaundiced.
That means your cancer has moved to your liver.
I'm so sorry.
Just... don't make fun of me.
Don't make fun of me. Goddamn it!
Gotcha.
I'm going to report you to the administration.
The administration takes due note.
What are you drinking?
-You really wanna know? -I do.
Deal the cards, and I'll tell you.
So, there's a doctor in Switzerland,
injects cells from fetal lambs to stop aging.
He's treated famous people--
Winston Churchill, Charlie Chaplin.
News flash. They're both dead.
But they lived to a ripe, old age.
Is that that fetal shit you're drinking?
Mmm. No.
Similar idea, though.
Human cancer cells.
I am so the fuck out of here.
Cancer cells live forever,
and by integrating them with normal cells,
they can halt the aging process.
You know that you're going to get cancer, right?
No, they can't cause cancer.
They're in an incomplete form.
I've been taking them for six months.
Never felt better.
Well, that is interesting.
-Abe Mandelbaum-- you know, the doctor. -Yeah.
He looked at me
and told me that my cancer had spread.
So, let me ask you...
what if I took some of that stuff?
It could serve a dual purpose for you.
It could stop the aging process, but second,
it can act as a vaccine,
help your body kill its own cancer cells.
So you're telling me that you have a treatment for old age
that cures cancer on the side?
Crazier things have happened.
Well, I'm a gambling man.
Pfft! Set me up.
Movement...
is what creates life.
Ready?
Ten, nine,
eight...
Clap. Seven, six,
five, four,
three, two, and one.
All right, everybody's looking good. Very good.
How does that feel? Good?
I'm sorry, Phil.
Um, can I talk to you for a minute?
Of course.
-Ladies, will you excuse me? -I'm sorry, ladies.
-Yeah? -The reason I got a job here
is because I got a note
that my father is at Cliffside.
Uh, I'm adopted,
and I'm searching for my birth father.
And I wanted to ask you--
No.
I was never married. I never had any children.
I mean, it's certainly possible,
but it's unlikely, honey.
I wish you were my daughter.
-Thank you. -Yeah.
And thanks for your time.
Oh, anytime, every day. Jeez.
How are you doing, Phil?
Hi, Abe.
I guess I'm all right.
Mind if I come in?
No.
I'm really sorry. I...
I lost my temper, and I should never have told you
the way I did that you had cancer.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry too.
I had no business making fun of you.
Hey, I deserved it.
But I'm gonna make up for it.
-What are you gonna do? -Something for both of us.
-What? -I'm gonna shtup Sheryl.
I'm gonna actually have sex with her.
Who is Sheryl?
Sheryl is the woman I met in the activities room that got me hard.
-Oh, my God. -Yeah!
Dr. Mandelbaum!
Man of science, esteemed man of letters,
is gonna fuck Sheryl!
You're gonna get her alone?
-Alone. -And then you're gonna be harder than you've ever been?
-Harder than I've ever been! -Aching, can't wait to get in?
Aching and throbbing and can't wait to get in!
-Get on top of her. -And I'll get on top of her!
-You'll stick it in. -And I'll stick it in!
-She loves it! -And she loves it!
-And you do it-- -For both of us!
Hi, Dr. Abe.
Here I am.
Are you happy to see me?
You don't know how much.
It was funny--
I feel like I'm 15 years old.
That's jailbait for me.
Abe, I can feel you.
You're big.
I haven't felt this good in a long time.
In fact, I'd love to do something with it.
Really?
Really.
With whom?
With you.
Come on. In your condition?
Yes, in my condit-- I'm feeling great.
-You're not serious, are you? -I'm very serious.
Hi, Abe. What's up?
Well, Sheryl has agreed to sleep with me.
Really?
-Yeah, but I'm... -That's fantastic.
Well, I'm having second thoughts.
Abe, come on. You promised. This is for both of us.
You gotta! Okay?
I don't have a place to do it in, so I'm gonna call it off.
Welcome to Phil's palace of wonders.
Here?
-Okay. -Okay.
-I'll let you know when. -Let me know. I'll be out of here.
Coraggio.
-What? -Courage.
Oh, yeah. Okay.
Go, Abe!
Jeez, you are something.
I arranged a special room for us.
It's called the Phil Nicoletti Room.
And we can even... even watch television,
if we want to, from the bed.
When was the last time you had sex?
-A long time ago. -Mm.
How about you?
It was a year ago.
Do you think it's a little strange?
I mean, you being here with me now? I mean...
No, I don't think it's strange,
'cause I like you, Abe.
You're kind,
and you understand me, and,
I don't know, I feel safe with you.
-Here, you got that? -I've got it.
I'll take off...
Ah, that feels good.
Okay. Yeah.
What?
I can't come on top. You go on top, okay?
Oh.
All right.
- Hi. - Hi.
Faster, Abe. It's got to be faster.
No, harder. Abe, Abe.
Faster. Abe.
Come on. Come on.
Come... Oh, come on.
Abe?
Seriously?
Okay, we're going to have a little "shake it up" time.
Can anybody help me pass these out?
That would be good.
We're going to do a little rhythm section,
and, uh, get some...
I call these the "hoochie coochies."
- Hoochie coochies? - Yeah, and you can...
Oh, she's already volunteering right there.
Okay, good. There's another one and another one.
How was it?
Oh, uh,
it was wonderful.
Absolutely wonderful.
Really?
Would I lie to you?
Ha! You are hot shit, Abe!
Ah, I want to hear all the details!
How was her orgasm?
-What do you mean? -Her orgasm.
You know, a woman has an orgasm. How was it?
Did she say anything to you during it, like,
"This is so great. I love your dick," or whatever?
I'm not sure.
Well, I mean like, "This is great.
You're a great fuck." Something? Nothing?
I'm not sure.
Okay. Let's establish something here
before I drop dead this minute, okay?
You were rock hard, you were inside her.
-Yeah. -But that's all you remember?
-Isn't that enough? -Well...
-Hey, Curly. -I'm lost.
Have you seen Jennilee?
He's always lost.
They shouldn't let him walk around alone.
There you are.
Let's go to my room.
What are they gonna do? Get busy?
Jesus Christ, am I the only man in this joint
that isn't getting laid?
Yeah, if you could just make sure she gets that.
Yeah, I'll take it.
Hello. Can I help you?
Yes, I'm here to see my great uncle.
-What's his name? -Uh...
Phil-- Phil Nicoletti, room 104.
Come in.
Hello, Phil?
Your uh, niece is here.
Hi there.
Come on in. How's Mom?
Come on in.
-Hi. -Hi.
-How are you? -Yeah, good.
I'm just going to put this here.
Sure.
Yeah.
Uh, okay.
Oh, God. Okay, sorry.
You don't seem too comfortable.
Sorry. I've just never been in somewhere like this before.
-Okay. -Okay, sorry, my--
The zipper too. Oh, my God.
It's just...
Well, you know, um, uh...
Oh, yeah, okay.
Go a little faster.
Okay, stop.
Stop trying. Stop.
-Sorry. I, uh... -It's not your fault.
Not your fault.
Sit down. Come on, sit down.
I guess the goddamn cancer cells didn't work.
Not worth shit.
Abe...
Abe, my-my coat.
Fix it.
Oh, my coat!
My coat!
My coat...
My coat!
-I want my coat! -Shh!
No!
It's mine...
Much better. Good.
Good girl. You're okay.
You're fine.
Hi, Abe.
Hi.
Hey, what's the matter?
It's Molly. I...
What happened to her?
They stole her fur coat.
She had a fur coat here?
Yeah. I couldn't bring her without it.
They had to medicate her. I...
Do you want to talk about it?
You know, one day in the activities room...
-Mm-hmm. -...I met this woman.
-Sheryl is her name. -Mm-hmm.
And uh, uh, that's when it happened.
What? What happened?
-I got an erection. -What? Oh, my God!
Don't laugh.
I haven't had an erection since Molly got sick.
I mean, I felt young, and I felt excited. I was...
Well, that's good.
Why does that have to be a secret?
That wasn't a secret.
Oh, what's the secret?
The secret was...
I slept with Sheryl.
What?
We had sex.
But the sad thing is, I-I failed.
You um, you couldn't keep your...
No, I was hard as a rock.
I was like a teenager
looking at pictures in a magazine.
But I c... I couldn't finish.
I...
I collapsed.
And when I came to, she was gone.
Well,
at least you didn't have a heart attack.
Small consolation.
If I were to die right now,
I think it would... it would be a relief.
When I was little, um,
I used to believe that when you died,
you just dreamt about all the great things that happened in your life.
So... then when you died in your dream,
you just woke up into another dream,
and you just kept living your life
over and over and over again.
That sounds pretty nice.
What do you think happens when you die?
Nothing.
Does that scare you?
Let's not talk about death, okay?
Okay.
How would you like to be adopted?
I don't think I would.
I mean, like you, I'd probably do a little searching...
I'm not talking about me.
I'm talking about you.
I'm gonna adopt you.
What?
Well, how does one go about getting
adoption papers for an old person like me?
-I don't know. -I'll tell you what.
What?
Forget the adoption papers.
You take Phil and me
out of this establishment
for one day to have some fun!
All right. You guys are sprung.
Up. Everybody up.
Get up, get up.
♪ Oh, say, can you see
♪ By the dawn's early light
♪ What so proudly we hailed
Go Sox! You bums!
It's television. They can't hear you.
Yeah, but they're still bums. Go on, tell 'em.
-What? -Go ahead, tell 'em!
Bums! You're bums!
You're bums!
- Angela, your turn. - Go Sox! You're bums!
I'm glad to be out, aren't you?
God, that fucking place drives me crazy.
Oh! Yes!
Yes! Yes!
High five!
That is the magnificence of baseball.
-Seventh-inning stretch. -Okay.
♪ Take me out to the ball game
♪ Take me out to the crowd
♪ Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks ♪
♪ I don't care if I never get back ♪
♪ And it's root, root, root for the home team ♪
♪ If they don't win, it's a shame ♪
♪ For it's one, two, three strikes, you're out ♪
♪ At the old ball game
♪ Da, da, da
-We should get back to Cliffside. -Yeah, I think so.
Phil?
Hmm?
What?
We gotta get back to Cliffside.
Oh, no.
I don't want to go there. No.
Well, you know, I'd rather not go back right now too.
Where do you want to go?
Anywhere else.
- How's Phil? - Oh, he fell right to sleep.
I like your place.
Oh, thanks. I'm working on it.
Are these your parents?
Oh, yeah, the picture near the chair?
-Yeah. -Yeah, that's them.
That's the last picture of the two of them together.
Ah, thank you.
I was just thinking about a...
a nurse I used to know.
You remind me of her, actually.
I actually haven't thought about her in years.
Well, what was her name?
Patricia.
I don't think I've even said her name out loud
in God knows how long.
What-- what makes you think about her now?
I don't know.
Maybe...
thinking about the hospital... I don't know...
Don't know.
She made a big mistake
in a medication dose
on one of my patients.
That was a long time ago.
I haven't talked about her
to anybody
for a very long time.
When did this happen?
Years ago.
One day she vanished.
I never knew where she went.
She never looked me up.
And, uh...
Well, it's probably for the best.
Molly, there's something I need to tell you.
Remember that woman that I told you about
who was searching for her father?
W-woman? Father?
Years ago, I had a brief affair with a nurse
-who vanished and... -Affair?
Yes, Molly, but it was a long time ago.
Affair, Abe?
Yes.
Well,
it's possible that she had a child.
Child?
Yes, my child.
Never found it.
Never found it, Abe.
Close under the grass.
This is called "five-card draw."
Each participant gets five cards.
The person with a strong hand
can make the first bet.
I think I can open.
Uh, five chips.
-Okay, um... -You have to put in five.
-Good. -Five.
Five. Okay.
What do you got?
Uh, I got a straight.
Oh!
Three tens.
A pair of aces.
Whoa, wait. Hey, Phil, I'm not sure if that's...
You know, I should've had second thoughts
about playing poker with you.
Yeah, you've fallen into the same pit
that many have fallen in.
Nobody can beat me.
Two of a kind.
There you see it. Full house. Aces over jacks.
I win again.
Royal flush.
Hey, he's got all the chips.
I beat everybody. I always beat everybody. Nobody beats me.
Look, I'm getting tired.
I would like to go to my room.
Would you help me, Angela? I want to talk to you.
-Yeah. -I'll see you later, Abe-y.
Okay.
-Thanks, honey. -Yeah.
Uh, I got something to tell ya.
What is it?
I'm your father.
Uh, say that again?
I am your father.
I'm confused.
You came looking for your father.
Came looking here.
You found him. I hope you're not mad at me.
Why didn't you tell me the first time that I asked you?
I don't know. I just,
I'm no good at handling anything like this,
and I always run away from everything.
Jerk.
I had an affair with your mother,
and she was married to a serviceman who was overseas.
She had the baby
and gave it up for adoption
before he came back, and I never saw her again.
What was her name?
Maria Picardi.
How do you know for sure that I am your daughter?
It all fits.
The age.
You came here to find me. You're obviously Italian.
Do you know who wrote the note?
I don't know that.
Do you know who handled the adoption?
Then that way I could find my mother.
I don't.
Oh, my God.
Angela?
-Yeah? -I'm dying.
There's very little time left.
I want you to take this.
It's yours.
I have no one else to give it to.
Where did you get all of this money?
I made a lot of money in my life,
and a lot of my money came in cash.
I couldn't even put it into the bank.
I can't. I can't take your money.
Oh, you can't tell me that. Don't do that.
Give me a chance to make it up. I gave you nothing.
Just give me a chance maybe in some little way,
to make it up to you that I wasn't around.
Just a little bit.
Okay, take a big deep breath and hold it.
Let it go.
Deep breath again.
Okay, that's good. Okay.
Now I'll just check your eyes.
All right.
-What's the verdict, Doctor? -Well, the good news is,
Grollman's treatment hasn't caused any bad side effects.
I'm no doctor, but...
I feel it can't be good.
Well, you're going to be all right.
So I'm not gonna die, Abe?
I didn't say that.
But don't worry about me, Abe.
I'm taking care of myself. I found someone to look after me.
What do you mean?
Angela. She's my daughter.
Wait a...
Yeah. We met.
I told her all of my secrets. I gave her all of my money.
Is she really your daughter?
She's my daughter. I gave her all my money.
I'm talking flesh-and-blood daughter, daughter!
How the hell would I know that she's my flesh-and-blood daughter, daughter?
You know how many women I've screwed?
I figured somewhere along the way, I must've had a child.
Did she ask you any questions about her mother
or about the conditions of the adoption?
Yes.
I made it all up so she'd believe it,
just like when you're bluffing
and you didn't pull the inside straight.
Are you serious?
This isn't a poker game, Phil.
I've got a confession to make.
I had a... a wild hope that she was my daughter.
How the hell could she be your daughter?
Years ago, I had an affair with a nurse.
She might have had a child that she put up for adoption
without my knowledge, that's how.
You can't take her away from me, Abe.
It's all I've got.
Of course not. I would never do that.
I've got no family,
I've got no children,
and I don't want to die alone.
I'm here for you, Phil. I am.
Thanks, Abe.
Oh, God.
You know, Abe? It feels like we've known each other
longer than this little time we've spent here.
You know, maybe when... when you get old,
time slows down the way...
the way it did when we were kids, you know?
We're two old men, Abe.
There's no escaping that.
So many things we can't do anymore,
so little to look forward to,
yet we still try to live our lives,
scared to death of dying,
trying to stay young with some crazy ideas.
But you know what, Abe?
We're still the same as they are,
no matter how young they are, because we're friends.
Goddamn it, we're better than they are.
-You know what I say to them, Abe? -What do you say to them?
Fuck 'em, I say. I say, fuck 'em!
-Fuck 'em. -Fuck 'em all.
-Fuck 'em all! -Yeah.
I'm really tired.
I have to rest a little bit now.
Thank you, Doctor.
Don't call me "doctor."
-Mr. Grollman. -Doctor.
I have a proposition for you.
What's your proposition?
You have a nurse working here
who is adopted,
and she's searching for her biological parents.
Now she recently got a note that said
her father is living here,
so I'd like to help her.
I'd like to take samples
from all the men here for DNA testing.
There's no way I can do that.
Besides, we'd need permission for the samples.
Well, they're just throat swabs. I mean...
The answer is no, Doctor.
If that's why you came here,
you can leave now.
Let me ask you a question.
Did you have to get permission
to give cancer cells to people?
Cancer cells are immortal.
Drinking them
will vaccinate
with immortal factors
and prevent aging.
Someone has to do something.
You can see what it's like to get old.
Is that why you say you hate old people?
I don't hate the people.
I hate watching them get old.
The cells are safe.
They're in an incomplete form,
made by a professor at the medical center.
I was a scientist in his lab before I came here.
My experiments failed. I had to leave.
Well, I think that, uh,
if people found out what you were doing,
you'd also have to leave Cliffside.
Make it happen, Mr. Grollman.
This won't hurt. Just open your mouth wide.
I'm just going to get the inside of your mouth.
Very good.
All right.
Very good. Thank you.
I have to...
figure out how I'm going to give that money back to Phil.
No, you can't do that.
I promised him I wasn't going to tell you.
No, I... I have to give it back to him,
because...
I'm not sure that I'm gonna be here anymore.
What are you saying?
It's time for me
to stop my search and to leave.
No, no. You can't do that.
You are on the verge of finding out who your father is.
Wh-what are you talking about?
I wanted to surprise you, but because of me,
Grollman has allowed DNA tests
on all the men at this facility.
Is that why they did a throat swab on me?
Yes.
You had no right to do that.
Well, I thought that's what you wanted.
It's not your choice to make.
I thought I was doing you a favor.
Oh, God.
I know that you thought that you were helping.
Tell Dr. Mandelbaum that the results are in.
Abe...
I think it's all over.
Fuck 'em all.
Fuck 'em all!
Phil...
Oh, Angela,
my beautiful daughter.
I'm so glad
I was able to do something for you.
I'm heading for that big poker game.
I hope you take good cards.
Don't worry.
I can always cheat.
He was my friend.
He could have been my father.
Here it is.
No more search.
No more nightmares.
Now you'll know
if Phil was your father or if I was your father
or someone on the fourth floor is your father.
I gotta tell you, I'm nervous.
I'm not nervous, Abe.
-Wh-what happened to me? -You had a heart attack.
-How's Molly? -She's fine.
We told her where you are
and that you're getting good care.
How are you?
Any regrets?
No.
How's he doing?
I think he's doing okay.
Grollman.
I must really be sick.
-Did he give you the envelope? -I tore it up.
Look what you put me through, Dr. Mandelbaum.
You're not a bad guy, Grollman.
I'm really sorry
that your c-cancer treatments didn't work.
You know,
I don't hate what happens to old people.
I'm glad I got to be old.
I love life.
Thank you.
I'll, uh, leave you to it.
Thank you. Thank you.
Are you in pain?
No. No pain.
Just happy.
Very happy.
You're gonna make it, Abe.
No.
No, Angela.
My life's over,
and nothing can save it.
All the happiness,
all the pain, all the years--
Everything is at its final place.
Nothing can...
Nothing can change the balance anymore.
I'm here with you.
I love you so much.
Angela, I love you.
I love you too, Abe.
Take care of Molly for me, please,
and-and look for...
P-Patricia Rossi.
I'm on my way to meet Phil
for...
for a big poker game.
Hi, Molly.
Hi. How are you feeling?
Oh, it... it's a day.
Actually um,
I have something for you.
Oh!
Would you like to try it on?
Oh!
Does it fit?
-Oh... -It looks beautiful.
Oh!
Do you like it?
Hi, Mom.