[♪]
If I can transmit the written word on a long and electrical
wire in an instant, it might outdate
the entire postal service
- Oh don't forget to pick me up in half an hour
A magnificant concept.
Jasper!
Oh yeah, yeah.
Jasper, did you understand a word I said?
Oh yea well of course and I will pick you up
after I get the pendulum.
Oh gosh pendulum.
This...this method of ordering material and then waiting months
for delivery it's uh yeah...
it's as obsolete as sending letters in the post.
But transmititng the written word on a wire in an instant...
What a Concept!
[♪]
Careful now!
My Belladonna! My Euphrasia! My remedies!
Calm yourself, cousin Minerva.
Olympia, look.
My Tranquillity tea!
How will I ever calm myself now?
Relaxation through free movement.
Mind and body are one.
[♪]
Jasper!
Oh goodness!
Cousin Jasper!
A real gathering of the clan!
This year, almost everyone.
How?
Who put the word out?
The miracle of modern communication!
Foolishly, I booked lodging only for you and your mother.
Blessing in disguise.
Now we can all be together.
Of course you remember Lancelot.
Un chevalier celebre de cirque.
Bonjour.
Salut!
My lovely Olympia.
Galileo!
Phosphorite, humus and potassium nitrates.
Perfect for potatoes.
[laughter]
You remember Caspar Dale.
Casper, anything new under the sun?
Life on Mars.
More canals than Venice.
What sort of life forms are we looking at?
Next time I'm back there I'll write you a full report.
[laughter]
Fascinating...fascinating.
Can't wait to introduce all of you to Olivia, my wife.
Where is she?
Jasper!
You haven't misplaced her?
Oh... dear ...
She wasn't expecting us?
...nonetheless, she'll be thrilled.
What in Providence!
Bohemians! As I live and breath. Vagrants!
No Olivia now you stay put here.
Safe.
I 'll deal with this.
But, there's Jasper.
Jasper!
How like Jasper to allow this sort of impropriety!
Jasper Dale!
Just what in hades is going on here!
Skin and bone.
Sallow skin and porous bones.
Luckily, I have just the remedy.
Selina, the Culcarea Carbonica.
Regulates the colon too.
Why you could set your clock by it.
Madam this is private property.
Dale property.
Minerva Dale and I'm pleased to meet you.
Dale?
You mean that all these?
...Dales.
Most Dales ever assembled in one place at one time.
Hetty King.
Oh...weak nails.
A family trait?
Selina, the Arnica!
Jasper you said two cousins might come for the...a visit.
This is a full-fledged clan gathering.
My original estimates were off and The White Sands is full.
I suppose I could ask them to leave.
Jasper, they are your family.
We don't want to offend them.
I guess we'll just have to invite them to stay.
Stay? Where? Here?
Just for the week...
A week?
Weekend.
It won't do putting up with loads of house guests?
In her advanced condition?
Your wife has taken leave of her senses, Jasper!
Or are you too distracted to notice?
I think Hetty is right.
I don't think they can stay here.
This is faulty logic.
Chop logic.
But for the life of me, I can't think where we're going
to put them all.
Dry around the mouth.
..the forehead - large pores.
My skin is as soft as my baby brother's.
Selina the cucumber creamed liquid.
Where are we supposed to keep them all?
If we house some of them, what's your contribution, Hetty?
Well if I must uphold traditional King hospitality,
I 'll take the girl.
The daughter.
She seems the most normal, or rather, the least abnormal.
Well, that's one.
Who else do you want?
One is plenty.
My sentiments exactly.
Well certainly seems like a lot of luggage for one weekend.
We plan to stay in Avonlea to help Olivia look after her baby.
Alec! Alec!
Minerva Dale.
My table.
My parlour.
My house.
Oh no, no...things will stay where they're put.
Thank you.
The situation of this table and the rest of the furniture
impedes the flow of nurturing particles
circulating in the air.
If you wish to avail yourself of the air,
the door is open to you.
Mother, where should I hang the wind chimes?
The what?
Oh, they're really very nice, Aunt Hetty.
Just inside the front archway, dear.
Clap-trap.
Fol-de-rol.
It inspires peace of mind.
Not mine it doesn't.
Selina.
You'll find your temperment vastly improved with the
arrangement I have in mind.
I'll find my temperment vastly improved if you put down the
table and you and your daughter would try to approximate the
behaviour of rational human beings!
Oh this still isn't working.
Olivia really, if I didn't know you better,
I'd think you were turning into a Dale.
That Minerva and Selina Dale have taken over my house
entirely, turned my life topsy turvy
with their peculiar notions.
Olivia, not in your condition.
Oh it's not a disease, Hetty.
You know the Dales maybe a very eccentric group, but they're
very well-meaning.
Well-meaning, well they mean to spend the next year
taking care of your child.
Oh, that won't do.
Olivia, I'm so relieved to hear it.
Being in the family way will sometimes transform a woman,
I've heard but from a King to a Dale, well I'd hope not.
No they'll both have to go!
And I'll help you.
I may be crazy but I can't stand this chair or that loveseat for
another minute.
Am I crazy?
Shhh.
Jasper everything has to be in order before the baby comes.
Becuase I won't have any time to clean up once I'm into diapers
and feedings and Hetty says I'm crazy.
I like it when you're a little bit loony.
Yes more like a Dale.
Like those odd cousins.
You should hear what Hetty has to say about them.
And speaking of them, someone has to plan this family reunion.
What would you think of a picnic over at King farm.
Just a little gathering for the two families to get acquainted.
Oh... I don't know...
whatever you like, I leave it up to you.
I think this is the future!
Oh Jasper.
This is my future.
You want to change the world and I just want want a clean house.
Don't worry, Ollie.
Jasper do you think we'll make good parents?
You know because we've never had to think of anybody else and
we've always just done exactly what we've wanted.
I think we're doing a-okay right now.
I've got my magazine work, my researches and my inventions.
I know but they're temporary and we just never know
when another one will come in.
I think I'm suited for this kind of life.
Yes I know but our life is changing.
Are you saying, you think, I should get
a permanent position somewhere?
No.
Wishful thinking.
You said yourself you're not suited for regular hours
and a regular salary.
You know that I would do anything for you.
Good then move that old loveseat back into the house.
My!
Um my!
Here.
It's...it's working!
Look!
Oh!
That's wonderful Jasper!
You'll have to apply for a patent right away.
Excuse me.
Of course, I couldn't stop working even if I wanted to -
which I do not.
Because a family requires a steady income...
and don't you go telling me that's a man's responsibility...
My lips are sealed...
Good.
Except to say, that Jasper used to strike me as one of a kind.
But after meeting his next of kin, and living with them
I'll vouch there's not a Dale who's done an honest day's work
in his life.
Sara, what are those two up to out there?
Selina calls it acupuncture.
What's that?
It's a painless Chinese cure for most modern ills.
Sounds like Greek to me.
Don't let them to make a mess out there.
Selina Dale.
An unfortunate girl with an overbearing mother.
Well Jasper's awfully fond of her.
I guess I'll just have to get used to her.
I've accepted her offer to stay and help with the baby.
What?
That's absurd.
A helpless King baby at the mercy of a hapless Dale.
It won't do.
Oh Hetty I can't very well leave the baby unattended
while I go to work.
Long hours spent with Selina Dale
at such an impressionable age.
It's only for the first year.
A year with Selina Dale.
It's not my dream come true...
No it is not.
It is a nightmare.
Olivia I want you to know that I am here to make sure
that never happens.
Oh Hetty, that's sweet but...
No, no, don't you see with me in charge of the child, well you'll
be quite free to pursue your career as a journalist.
Oh but, what about your teaching.
Oh no, no, no I've thought long and hard about this
for some time.
Clearly my duty is to my family.
That is to say to you.
And to our new baby.
Oh Hetty, it's just not necessary.
Your place is in the classroom.
My place is with my sister.
Then too I can be sure that that child be raised as a King,
not a Dale, perish the thought.
Where is that tea?
Sara?
Hold still, now.
Sara! Sara!
Are you...are you all right child?
Aunt Hetty I'm fine.
You shall have better luck next time.
Your cousin is too skittish.
I'm sorry, Mother, she made me lose the target.
A good thing.
No Dale is going to turn my niece into a pin cushion.
I'm fine Aunt Hetty.
Don't...
Olivia there, there you see the very idea of these...
these lunatics taking care of your child.
A porcupine perhaps.
Selina, kindly tell your cousin Olivia
what sort of a proper up-bringing you have had.
Oh yes please do Selina.
One full of freedom and love .. .
at every turning point in my life mother
has allowed me to ex..
You can't have too much love.
You spare the rod, you spoil the child.
Eating whatever, whenever hungry.
Seems reasonable.
Babies are to be fed every four hours.
It's the rule.
Expression.
Creativity.
Not being constrained by unnatural things Such as
nappies, I suppose.
Hetty for heaven's sake it can't hurt to be open to new ideas.
Why every single King baby has been raised
in exactly the same way.
Yes, the right way.
Et voila!
Parfait!
Alors, Felix, c'est a ton tour.
Maybe another time.
I hear my mother calling.
That's her, all right!
Monte a cheval.
Vite!
Un, deux, trois.
Felix.
Et voila!
Encore une fois.
Encore.
I don't think so.
Unhand that boy.
Oh Felix!
Well I hope that's your brains in the direction
of common sense.
Yes Aunt Hetty.
I believe so.
Quelle Folie.
Spinning like a coccoon, turning into a beautiful butterfly.
And flowers reaching up for the sun.
Opening from a...
What on earth are you looking for?
E Coli.
In my kitchen?
Bacteria are everywhere.
Yes.
I'm sure they are.
Beginning with you.
Release my instrument!
Outside. With the rest of the bacteria. Out.
What's that dirt doing in my tub?
It's mud.
Good Lord.
Rare mud from the Nile.
Cleopatra's beauty bath-time secret.
Very relaxing and beautifying.
Do join us?
Here comes the bees...Here we are circles...turn...
Janet! Janet!
Has everyone gone mad?
Your family perhaps.
But I certainly have not.
Now Alec, in your capacity as School Board Chairman
I want you to...
Not now Hetty.
I've got enough problems as it is.
Read it Alec.
It is a serious matter.
I trust you'll take it seriously.
Alright hold on a minute.
You're requesting a sabbatical?
Yes correct.
Olivia's baby is to be born in two weeks.
Should be ample time for you to find
a suitable replacement for me.
You're giving up teaching?
To be a nursemaid?
Yes, temporarily.
Olivia needs me.
She's a grown woman, Hetty.
Helping out is one thing but ruling the roost
is quite another.
It's primitive.
But it works.
The letter ar being transmitted.
Yes.
Well, sometimes.
Now don't get down on yourself,
it takes a real gift to invent something like this.
Well, it's not gift to be different.
Believe me Jasper compared to the rest of your family
you are positively normal, even boring.
Thank you.
Alec, do you think I have what it takes...
to make a good father?
I've been reading all these books on child birth
and child rearing.
They all contradict the other.
Well, there's no mathematical formula Jasper, and I'm not sure
any of these gadgets of yours are going to help.
But being a good father is pretty straightforward.
Children need stability and discipline.
And a father's job is to sustain the family
through the good and the bad.
Be a provider and try and give them more than we had, eh?
Love? What about love?
Of Course.
I have no doubt that you'll provide plenty of that.
But then love doesn't put three square meals on the table.
Children are a big responsibility.
Oh yes, yes indeed.
Very, very rewarding.
Titus.
Andromida.
Isadora.
Peresepone or Belrofanie.
Hamlet, Horatio...Horatia.
Jupiter.
Caligula.
Giselle? What do you think of Giselle?
Giselle?
Hmm.
Olivia, might we have a word?
Oh Jasper, we have guests.
Olivia, have you thought of a name for the baby?
Oh yes actually I rather like Montgomery.
It's a name that's been in the King family.
Montgomery King?
Oh Monty?
Olivia, wasn't he that the scrapper
who ran with the side shows?
He was a prize fighter Janet not just a scrapper.
A professional pugilist.
I rather fancy Portia.
For a girl.
Oh that's a lovely name.
It is a boy.
I can always tell.
A boy then.
Ariel.
A great name from literature.
It's a rather feeble name for a strapping King baby.
Oh that's true.
You wouldn't want a name that would subject
the boy to ridicule.
Nigel.
There's a name you can be proud to say
to a prospective employer.
Not that any Dale is seems overly concerned
with a steady employment.
Hetty.
It seems premature to think about that.
Maybe we should name him Doctor or Mr. Justice
or the Right Honourable.
Take care of the vocation and the name in one fell swoop.
It seems to me that the Dale family is proof positive
that you can tell a lot from the name.
There's Galileo or...
Hetty that's enough!
All of you!
Japser and I will make the final decision about our baby's name.
Jasper?
Felix King, what on earth are you doing?
Mother told me to come here.
No room at my house.
Salade d'homard a la Felix.
For the picnic.
Some lobster, celery...
It's all stuck together with this yellow glue?
Mayonnaise.
A chef can never use too much.
Made it last night.
Last night.
Did you hear?
My parents were talking this morning.
Something about a feud between the families.
Things got so bad last night that Uncle Jasper
actually ran away from home.
Really?
Jasper Dale?
I couldn't believe it myself when Aunt Hetty told me.
I'll bet Aunt Hetty's never told a fib in her entire life.
We have to do something to mend fences.
I know, we'll hold a pow wow.
The two families smoke a peace pipe.
I read about that in The Last of The Mohicans.
I'll bet Minerva Dale has a remedy.
You don't really believe in all that stuff, do you?
I don't see why we shouldn't explore
each and every possibility.
Sara... I don't know...
Harmony Elixir.
Look at this.
It smells awful.
It must really work then.
And in any case Olivia you have no business at the Dale reunion
without your husband!
For that matter, none of us need go to the blasted picnic.
Not our family.
Thank heaven.
You're right.
Why if I hadn't married a Dale, I'd have no reason to be there
in the first place.
But you did.
And you love him.
Besides Jasper wouldn't leave at time like this.
Not with the baby due and his family's all here.
Sara you're right!
Oh Jasper'd never miss his family reunion.
I'll bet he's come home.
I'll just go and check to see if he's come back
or left a message for me.
Not on your life Olivia.
No, I'll not hear of it.
Not in your condition!
Now, now you're not to be alone, ya hear.
You're right!
Oh Hetty I don't know what went wrong between Jasper and me, but
I do know it must have been my fault.
You're wrong.
She's absolutely right.
She married an inventor.
A dreamer.
An artist.
A Dale.
But your family could never accept Jasper for who he is.
No!
Once Olivia King had him in her clutches she made it her mission
to turn him into a sensible, logical, bonehead.
A typical King!
Maybe she's right?
She's wrong.
Of course I'm right.
The man has fled.
It was just a matter of time.
I shouldn't have tried to change him.
Jasper Dale he is who he is.
Yes a Dale!
Flighty, irresponsible, unreliable, shiftless Dale.
Hetty!
That's enough!
This is all your fault, you know!
Olivia married a Dale.
Now she's Olivia Dale!
Olivia's born a King and she'll die a King!
Jasper.
Oh I'm so furious with you.
I expected you would be, but I had to do it.
Do what?
You go running off without word?
I was so worried...
There's nothing to worry about any more.
I've just returned from Markdale.
I decided that I...
well with the child and all...
I had to find a position that had a steady income.
A job?
You?
It wasn't easy.
Finding something suitable.
I considered a job in a store, but I'm not sociable.
Oh Jasper.
Everybody likes you.
I like you.
And there was a teaching position in the Charlottetown
papers, but I decided they might find that I was too progressive.
So I aimed my sights at a bank.
You robbed a bank?
Oh Hetty!
Oh no, I'm much too clumsy to be a bank robber.
So I've settled on being a clerk.
Oh Jasper, oh that sounds awfully dull.
It's not what I like about it.
I mean the body is chained to a desk but the mind is free.
Well done Jasper.
Why that's better.
You're becoming a husband and a father before my very eyes.
Jasper.
You've become one of them.
Adding up columns of numbers like a brainless machine.
Why, the Jasper Dale I know would be inventing
such a machine.
A machine that computes numbers.
A computing machine.
To free men from the wearisome pursuits and to allow them
more time for the meaningful things of life.
Art.
Science, spirituality, love and...
And picnics.
I hope is calms them down.
That looks lovely Felix.
Would you like some of my famous salade d'homard, Mr. Dale?
Young man, I'd be surprised if your salade did not up and crawl
right back into the sea.
Galileo, the lobsters are quite dead.
The mayonnaise is alive with bacteria.
See for yourself son.
The effect of heat on seafood and egg yolks.
That lobster is lethal!
Look at that crackpot, making a mockery of our son's endeavour.
Isn't it just like a Dale to turn lunch into a laboratory!
I say that looks good enough to eat.
Oh delicious.
Father.
Thank you.
My son made this you know.
Loaded with lobster.
Oh!
My dress!
Lice of the sea!
Bottom feeders!
We Dales are strictly vegetarians.
You are what you eat.
That's the truth.
They eat like rabbits and they multiply like them too.
I swear there's a dozen more Dales here than yesterday.
Poor Janet.
Thank you Hetty.
My goodness.
Well we certainly got a lovely sunny day didn't we.
The sun emits a spectrum of radiation.
Some of which are harmful.
Sunshine is wonderful, if you're a plant.
I'd like to propose a toast.
To the Kings...and to the Dales.
And especially to the new baby.
To nurture and nature.
To Gaia, mother earth from whence we all sprang.
To the rich, red earth of our beloved island!
Here's mud in your eye.
To the red mud of Mars!
To King Edward.
To King Arthur and his beloved Guinevere.
Sante et bonheur.
Salut!
Greetings and salutations!
To our ancestors.... ...the orangutan.
Here's to our forebears.
Men and women.
Brave and proud.
Oh I can recall tales of great grandmother, Matilda King,
who came tempest-tossed to these shores.
Is this a toast?
I think it's a lecture.
Of great-uncle Oliver, Olivia's namesake who...
Died of thirst while listening
to the King family tree.
...who built the first homestead here.
Norville King.
Yes, yes then there was Norville King.
He drowned quite tragically whilst searching
for the North West passage.
At least poor cousin Norville had something
with which to wet his whistle.
Oh the rudeness!
Alec, do something please.
Get away you...you uncouth orangutan.
Excuse me Olivia.
No Olivia, wait!
Oh Jasper I can't stand all this bickering.
Even the picnic has been ruined.
I don't understand.
The Kings and Dales are just like oil and water.
What does that say about our future together?
Felix! Hurry up.
There are others who need to use the facilities.
[moans]
I think it must be the food.
Or maybe it was the punch.
The Kings are suffering because of the food
and the Dales are in misery due to the drink.
Hetty said here was no alcohol in the punch
Good riddance.
Nux Vomica is good for digestive complaints.
Pulsatilla for women's problems.
It's all my fault.
No it was my mayonnaise.
The harmony elixir.
It wasn't charmed. It was cursed.
We have to send for a doctor.
Sulphur is good for asthma.
Yogic breathing.
In goes the good air.
Out goes the bad.
Maybe a nice cup of Pankiw's Perfect Tea?
No I really think we should send for a doctor.
Actually Janet, it's fine now.
I feel much better.
The pain is completely gone.
That's the power of homeopathy.
Often the mere mention of the remedy can cure the ailment.
There you are mind and body are one.
Recurring pains of increasing intensity.
Arthritis?
Constipation?
Labour!
Jasper Dale, your wife's going to have a baby!
Yes, well, I'm aware of that.
In approximately two weeks.
give or take 14 days.
Oh.
Oh!
I think you should get her upstairs.
What?
Don't worry all King babies have been born here.
King babies!
Jasper, Jasper this is a Dale baby!
Strictly speaking, it's fifty/fifty.
Jasper.
It's only fitting...
Jasper was born at the Dales.
Jasper get a doctor.
Jasper should I get Felix to get the doctor.
A doctor really isn't necessary.
I know everything about childbirth.
Ah yes, in addition to her many other vocations,
Selina is training to be an apprentice midwife.
Mid-wife in training?
Olivia we've got a...
Uncle Jasper, Aunt Olivia's gone.
Oh Olivia!
Hetty I didn't mean to bother you.
I tried...I couldn't get all the way home .. Oh, you are home.
Come.
I think it's customary to boil water on occasions such as this.
I never understood that.
Me neither.
The truth is Olivia, I know quite a bit about some things
and something about most things,
Oh I don't know anything about birthing and babies.
If I had been a mother myself I would've
a better idea of what to do now.
But then not everyone is cut out for motherhood.
Any regrets?
Regrets me?
Oh no...
I answered my calling.
No I have always been happy with the path I have chosen.
I think we should continue this discussion, definitely,
but, right now..
My only regret is I'm not able to be of more help you.
What can I do?
Oh Hetty!
Please...do something.
Please help me.
I can't go on.
I can't...Hold my hand!
Yes you can.
You must.
You will.
Olivia!
Jasper!
I'm so glad you've come.
I've brought the midwife.
Capable of looking after the baby my Auntie!
Oh Jasper.
Right.
I will need hot water, clean towels and a blanket.
Jasper I think the presence of a husband in this situation
is highly uncustomary.
Now Olivia.
Just take my hands.
Now bear down hard.
I suppose, we have dispense with conventions,
for now, whilst we wait for the doctor to arrive.
According to my research, this baby's
not going to wait another minute.
Oh well, goodness.
I'd best go and boil that water.
Lord knows, I could use a cup of tea.
[moans and groans]
Oh my!
Oh my goodness!
It's...it's...a baby!
I heard him.
You heard the baby?
I heard Jasper.
He said..." It's a baby!"
It's a baby.
[♪]
Something's wrong.
Janet.
I am the mother of four healthy children...
Listen.
I don't hear a thing.
Well exactly.
Babies are supposed to cry.
Jasper...the baby.
It's a boy...but..
But?
Stillborn.
He absolutely cannot be.
He has to breathe.
He will breathe.
He can't be...our little son.
[baby crying]
Japser...
He's all right, isn't he?
[baby cries]
Oh...oh Jasper Dale, you are a remarkable man.
I do remember reading in my readings there was a passage
about the clearing of the airways after birth.
Selina.
[♪]
[baby cries]
I've just had the privilege of meeting my new nephew...
It's a boy.
[cheering]
No quitter, oh no he's... he's a fighter, that boy.
Oh in my opinion, he would make a very fine Montgomery.
An excellent name for a King.
Montgomery King...
Oh...I...I mean Dale.
Montgomery Dale.
Oh Minerva.
Such a tiny boy but strong fingernails, you know.
Blue...blue eyes just like Jasper.