(PLAYING UPBEAT MARCH)
(ALL CHEERING)
NARRATOR: The first hazard for the returning hero is his fame.
The adulation can spin you quite giddy.
Those who once dismissed you as a lousy pork chop
now clamor just to be in your presence.
BOY: Sir.
Look, sir, look! Look! Up in the sky.
(PLANE WHIRRING)
(SNORTING)
Excuse me, Mr. Hoggett, sir.
Mr. Hoggett, sir. Your pig...
Can you hold the pig up for the press?
REPORTER 1: Look this way.
REPORTER 2: Show us the pig. Show us the pig.
NARRATOR: The deeds of the farmer and his remarkable pig
became renowned even in distant lands.
(SNORTS)
Invitations came from all over to open fairs,
to demonstrate sheepherding,
and, indeed, to meet a queen.
But Arthur Hoggett was a retiring man.
He found his best pleasures working his farm.
So it was one morning, he set out to repair the water pump,
and Babe somehow got it into his head that he could help.
But fate turns on a moment, dear ones,
and the pig was about to learn the meaning of those two cruel words of regret,
"If only."
- If only he hadn't been so careless. - Whoa!
If only the weight of the pig and the pump did not exceed the weight of the farmer.
If only the farmer did not connect with the platform on the way up,
or jam his fingers at the top.
If only the pump hadn't fallen off at the bottom,
and if only the poor farmer had the presence of mind
to hold on to the rope.
Boss?
- (MOOS) - (CLUCKING)
(HOGGETT GROANING)
(DUCHESS GROWLING)
(BABE SNORTING)
(GROANING)
(SNORTING QUIZZICALLY)
(SNORTING HAPPILY)
NARRATOR: At no other time in his short life
had the pig wished more that his words could be understood by humans,
if only to say, "Sorry, boss."
BABE: (WHISPERS) Sorry, boss.
(MICE SINGING SOULFUL SONG)
NARRATOR: Even before her Arthur's misfortune,
Mrs. Hoggett was ceaselessly busy,
bustling, baking, bottling and pickling.
But now, having to nurse her husband and pay the bills,
she found life considerably more challenging than she had ever anticipated.
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
Before long, two men showed up.
Two men in suits.
Men with pale faces and soulless eyes.
Such men could have come from only one place, the bank.
(THUNDER CRASHES)
MRS. HOGGETT: Arthur.
(DOGS BARKING)
(MUTTERING) Where is it?
(GASPS) Yes.
"Dear Mr. Arthur Hoggett...
(MUTTERING) "...guest appearance for your pig.
(CONTINUES MUTTERING) "...sheepherding demonstration.
"Free air travel, accommodation, and a generous appearance fee."
Arthur. Arthur, a generous appearance fee!
Look. See?
Pig.
Pig. Pig, pig, pig. Pig.
FLY: Come, dear. You're being called.
- MRS. HOGGETT: Pig. - He's not here.
Babe.
BABE: Babe's not here.
You can't undo what's happened, son, but you can make up for it.
Babe, the boss is about to lose the farm.
- We'll all be sent away. - And there's no telling where we'll end up.
Not every human is as kind as ours.
- But what can I do? - Nothing.
You're a sheep-pig. A champion, no less.
Most likely they'll want you to herd sheep.
You can't leave. He can't leave. You're my lucky pig.
MRS. HOGGETT: (ANGRILY) Pig!
Pig.
Arthur. You call the wretched thing.
Come, pig.
(HOGGETT WHISTLES)
Well, I must be off, then.
You won't be alone, dear. You'll be with the boss' wife.
Oh, sure, sure. The boss' wife. You'll be in the company of a serial killer.
Do not take counsel of your fears, lad.
FLY: Do you want to pee before you go? BABE: No, thank you.
Come on, pig.
FERDINAND: But I need this pig. He's my lucky pig. My good luck pig.
Without him, I'm dead.
Deceased. Lifeless. Extinct. A demised duck.
In you go.
Can you come with me, Fly?
I wish I could, dear, but it's you they want.
- Please? - Stop it, now. You're a brave pig.
And, Babe, more often than not in this uncertain world,
fortune favors the brave.
Porridge in the morning. No sugar. Just a little bit of salt, but not too much.
Tea. No milk, just lemon.
Okay. I think that's everything.
Right. I'm off.
Esme?
Don't worry, Arthur. I won't let anything happen to your pig.
Arthur.
(GRUNTING)
(SQUEAKING)
NARRATOR: And so, dear ones,
the pig and the farmer's wife ventured into the larger world.
What follows is an account of their calamitous adventures,
and how a kind and steady heart can mend a sorry world.
SHEEP: Save the farm, Babe. Save the farm.
(READING)
(ENGINE ROARING)
(BABE SCATTING)
(STEWARDESS ON PA)
Oh!
(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)
(HUFFING)
- Pardon me, boys. - Yeah.
You see that thing, that fat, featherless, flying thing?
Uh-huh.
- Any idea where it's headed? - Follow us.
Good. Follow them.
(FERDINAND SCATTING)
Oh, whoa!
(SNIFFING)
Excuse me.
- Excuse me, but I was wondering... - Look, pal, I'm busy.
- I seem to have lost my human. - Hey, hey, hey. I'm working here.
(QUESTIONING IN ITALIAN)
Whoa! Ain't you a weird-looking puppy.
I'm not a puppy. I'm a sheep-pig.
My human's gone, and I'm hungry, and I'm supposed to save the farm.
Yeah, yeah. That's truly tragic, but you see that long line of stuff over there?
- And all those piles yonder? You see them? - Yes.
I gotta sniff every doggone one of them. I'm a sniffer, you see.
A fully qualified, triple-certificated sniffer.
Oh.
It's all in the hooter, the schnoz, the olfactory instrument.
You could be a sniffer with a schnoz like that.
That's very kind of you, but...
Don't interrupt me now. I'm just getting to the good part.
When you sniff the right smell, do you know what happens? Do you?
Mmm-mmm.
You jump up and down and go berserk. That's what happens.
- You should see the humans come running. - They do? But why?
Beats me, but it's sure important. I get big rewards.
- Rewards? - Sure. My heart's desire. Watch this.
(BARKING)
MAN ON PA: Security guard, to the floor.
We got one.
MAN 1: She could be my mother.
MAN 2: Creepy, isn't it?
MAN 3: Esme Cordelia Hoggett?
Oh! Thank heaven. Look, my pig still hasn't come through,
and I've only got 15 minutes to make flight FF-115.
I've still got to get all the way across to the other terminal,
but there's no point me going without the blessed pig.
- Ma'am, we have the pig. - Oh! Let's get a wriggle on, then.
If we miss FF-115, then we won't make the 4:15 shuttle.
And if we don't make the 4:15 shuttle, then we won't make it in time for the fair.
It's the granddaddy of all state fairs, so they say,
and today's the very last day.
It'll all be over and we won't get the appearance money.
And if we don't get the appearance money,
the bank won't take, "I'm sorry, I missed my flight" for an answer.
That'll be it. All over. Arrivederci, farm.
Poor Arthur would be utterly
- devastated. - (GRUNTS)
(GASPS)
Esme Cordelia Hoggett, we have reason to believe
you may be carrying illegal substances on your person.
And being an officer of the Drug Enforcement Agency,
I am authorized by law to conduct certain procedures.
Please step into the cubicle and remove your clothes.
Pardon?
(BABE GRUNTING)
NARRATOR: Of course, it was proved beyond any doubt
that Esme Cordelia Hoggett was not a felon.
But sadly, they had missed their all-important connection,
and to make matters worse,
they were obliged to wait some days for the next flight home.
They couldn't go forward and they couldn't go back.
They were stranded.
(GULPS)
(SNORTS)
(SNIFFS)
Uh-huh. So, you don't take pets?
But he's just a little pig.
It's more of a dog, really.
But he's practically human.
(AIRPLANE LANDING)
(HUMMING LULLABY)
(BABE SNORTING)
(SNORTS)
Scram, lady.
This is not a farm.
(MAN CHATTERING ON PA)
MAN: Excuse me.
Flealands Hotel, a few blocks south.
You'll be welcome there.
NARRATOR: Esme Hoggett studied the face of the stranger...
Thank you.
NARRATOR: ...and wondered what could have provoked
his unexpected act of kindness.
(MICE SINGING)
(READING)
Oh. I need a room for myself and the wee pig.
Are you crazy? Animals in here?
- What makes you think we take animals? - Oh, but I...
What kind of an establishment do you think this is? Well, it isn't.
Am I aware of the city codes and regulations? Yes.
Am I one to break the law? Absolutely not. I am very lawful.
Are you hearing-impaired? Go away.
(AIRPLANE PASSING OVERHEAD)
Psst! Psst!
Mmm?
- How long did you want to stay? - Two days.
- Will an attic room do? - I thought you...
That was just for the neighbors. Heartless meanies.
Where do they expect these poor creatures to go?
- Is he house-trained? - Oh, yes. Just like you and me.
Do we provide meals? No.
But is there a convenience store? Yes. Two blocks south.
And what is the golden rule? Never answer the front door.
Why? It might be an inspector.
Mind that step.
- What happens if you need anything? - (ANIMAL SHRIEKS)
You knock on this door on the left.
Who lives there? I do.
Where's the bathroom? End of the landing.
Do we provide towels?
(SNIFFING) Is that a canine? You canine? You a puppy dog?
Flealick, come back. We don't know where it's been.
- Do we, Alan? - No, Nigel.
- Feline. You're a cat? - Do I look like a cat?
How do I know if you look like a cat?
I got the myopia. I can barely see a thing.
If you're a cat, you gotta scat. That's the rule. Hey.
Kitty. You got no business being on this floor. You got that?
No felines on this floor. Period.
Where's the pay phone? In the foyer.
Local calls only.
And where does the little piggy stay at all times?
In the room.
(CATS MEOWING SCALES)
And where does the dear little fellow do his necessaries?
In the kitty litter.
Who empties it?
You do. Any questions?
Oh. Where do I make a long-distance phone call?
Oh.
Two blocks south.
(MRS. HOGGETT SIGHS)
(GRUNTS)
Stay, pig.
Stay.
(BELL TOLLING)
(SHIP'S HORN BLOWING)
NARRATOR: Babe looked out across this vast habitat,
abundant with humans and other creatures,
and wondered when he would see his first sheep.
Then, the thought occurred to him.
Maybe it wasn't sheepherding.
Maybe something else was required of him.
Whatever the case,
in this place with its dark corners and endless possibilities,
the pig felt sure he would find a way to redeem himself.
Aww!
Can I help you?
What are you doing?
(BABBLING)
I beg your pardon?
Hey. Wait a minute.
That belongs to the boss's wife.
Hey. Come back.
(CONTINUES BABBLING)
Wait up.
(EXCLAIMING)
Whoa! Hey, slow down. If you're not a cat, stay and chat.
BABE: Sorry.
We don't get out much nowadays on account of Nig and Al.
Their nerves. They're a little nervous.
Me, on account of the hips. Well, don't be a stranger.
Open up, please.
Open this door.
You got a problem, sweetie?
BOB: Who is it, honey?
It's kind of a baldy, pinky, whitey thingy.
Show him in.
I'd like the bag back, please.
(WHIMPERING)
Hey, pinkness. Look at the little guy.
You wanna break his heart?
But it doesn't belong to him.
All I know is what I see.
Tug comes in with the bag, just doing his job, collecting stuff,
and you barge in here "accusicating" and making "demandments."
I didn't see you with the bag.
Who's to say it belongs to you?
I'm not leaving without the bag.
I don't think my big brother, Bob Bobalooba, the Big Banana,
is done 'splaining how things work around here.
I have to warn you, I may be small, but I can be ferocious if provoked.
THELONIUS: And what have we here?
Well, we're in a negotiation with this naked, pink individual.
ZOOTIE: He's of foreign extraction, your honor.
Possibly even an alien.
THELONIUS: You drooling imbeciles.
This is an omnivorous mammal of the order ungulata,
an inconsequential species with no other purpose
than to be eaten by humans.
This lowly, handless, deeply unattractive mud-lover
is a pig.
Oh.
For your information,
I'm a sheep-pig, and I've been sent to save the farm.
Come to think of it, I should be saving the farm right now.
(STAMMERS) And if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.
So, will this little pink lunchness fulfill his destiny, nourishmentally speaking?
We shall see.
I feel very uncomfortable with this conversation.
- I want my bag back. Get out of my way. - (DOOR CREAKING)
(DOOR SLAMS)
(WHEEZING)
LANDLADY: Uncle Fugly.
Uncle Fugly.
(FUGLY WHEEZING)
(SQUEALING)
BABE: Please let me out. LANDLADY: Uncle Fugly.
There's been a theft upstairs. Can you imagine?
Esme Hoggett, Fugly Floom.
Uncle Fugly, Esme Hoggett.
- Perhaps we should call the police. - LANDLADY: No, no. No police.
No authorities. Heaven forbid, it would be the end of this place.
Surely you understand.
Oh, dear. I just phoned my Arthur to tell him that at least his pig was safe.
- Now, on top of everything else... - BABE: Hey, that's my human. Open...
LANDLADY: Remember, we have found your clothes.
MRS. HOGGETT: I don't care about the clothes.
But the pig... The pig. I can't go home without the pig.
- (MUTTERING INCOHERENTLY) - (AIRPLANE PASSING OVERHEAD)
Did you get that?
Approximately five minutes ago
something that looked like a pig exited this establishment.
Where did he go? Left on Canal Street, then in the direction of the beach.
Okay. Thank you.
(MOANS)
(CATS HARMONIZING)
MOUSE 1: What's that? MOUSE 2: It's beautiful.
MOUSE 3: Oh, it's lovely.
(GIGGLING)
ALL: Oh!
(ALL SINGING)
(SQUEAKING)
(READING)
MRS. HOGGETT: Pig.
Pig.
(LOUD TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING)
Here, pig, pig, pig.
(MRS. HOGGETT CALLING STERNLY)
Pig.
Here, pig, pig, pig, piggie.
Who you calling a pig, lady?
Not you. Another pig.
My husband's pig.
What's in the bag?
Give it here.
(GRUNTING)
(SCREAMING)
Oh!
Whoa!
MRS. HOGGETT: Oh, dear. Oh!
(CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYING)
(CHILDREN LAUGHING)
(PLAYING CHEERY MUSIC ON VIOLIN)
(CHILDREN LAUGHING)
(SNORTING)
NARRATOR: Show business may not be as honorable a profession
as sheepherding, but the pig was willing to endure the ridicule
if it would help put things right back at Hoggett Hollow.
And the animals had told him if all went well, there would be big rewards.
- Hey. So, when do I get paid? - (SHUSHING)
(CHILDREN APPLAUDING)
(CHILDREN SQUEALING)
BABE: Sir, I've got to get going now.
How do I collect my reward?
I told you, stay under the table.
Yep. Okay.
(BABE EXCLAIMING)
(FIRE ALARM RINGING)
(SOULFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
(WHIMPERING)
MRS. HOGGETT: Take your hands off me.
It's a mistake. I'm a grandmother.
Somebody help. Call Farmer Hoggett.
Okay. Freak show's over. Beat it.
MRS. HOGGETT: Help. Help.
(READING)
Just tell me.
There is no reward, is there?
Was there ever such a thing?
Oh, little pink thingy, this is the city.
As Bob always says... What do you say, Bob?
BOB: It's all illusory. It's ill, and it's for losers.
No, that wasn't it.
You know, that stuff about no yesterday and no tomorrow.
All you got is this actual now-ness.
The past is gone, and as for the future... (BLOWS RASPBERRY)
Yeah. No guarantees, my little pork pie.
It's a dog-eat-dog world, and there's not enough dog to go around.
So, you look after number whatsy.
- Get my drift? - I'm not a pork pie.
Whatever you say, cutie pie.
I'm not any kind of pie. I'm just a pig on a mission.
(MICE SINGING YEARNING SONG))
NARRATOR: It's tough if you're a pig alone in the city.
It can leave you empty.
And whom do you turn to?
Where was the boss' wife?
He thought it might help if he could recall Fly and Rex and their steadfast words,
and he tried really hard,
but he could barely remember the face of his beloved boss.
The farm was fading.
It had become just a comforting dream,
an echo.
(MICE CONTINUE SINGING)
- (THUD) - Huh?
(THUDDING CONTINUES)
(HEART MONITOR BEEPING)
(WHEEZING)
(WHIMPERS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
(AMBULANCE SIREN WAILING)
Are we okay, Thelonius?
Thelonius?
THELONIUS: I couldn't wake him. I tried.
But he wouldn't wake up.
He'll be back.
Himself always comes back.
Thelonius?
ZOOTIE: Easy, let him be.
FERDINAND: Let's see.
Mmm-hmm.
Whoa! Whoa! Wait a minute.
This looks good. Hmm.
Just drop me off... Yeah, right here'll be fine.
Thanks for the ride, pal.
I just hope you get that operation for your wing.
Yeah, right, yeah.
Not being able to fly long distances
on top of the amount of family tragedies you've suffered.
Oh, my gosh.
Yeah, yeah. Don't sweat it. See you.
Farewell, noble duck.
FERDINAND: Okay. You are cleared for landing.
Here we go. Flaps down.
Perfect.
Oh. (CHUCKLES)
Hey.
(GUNFIRE)
(GRUNTING)
(EXCLAIMING)
(SHUDDERING)
(WHIMPERING) Pig.
Pig.
(READING)
NARRATOR: By nightfall, all Babe's concerns,
(MOANING)
all the troubled voices in his head were drowned out by one insistent moan.
(STOMACH RUMBLING)
DEEP VOICE: Food.
NARRATOR: The fact is, Babe's belly was making such a fuss,
he began to believe it was talking to him.
DEEP VOICE: Food.
Huh?
BOB: Anybody got any food?
Anybody?
Hey, dogs, you got any edibles, any nibbly-dibblies?
FLEALICK: Yeah, we got a carpet here with some nice spaghetti stains.
But we can't keep licking the carpet, can we, Alan?
No, Nigel.
Hey, cats. Cats.
What about you?
CATS: (SINGING) No, no, no, no food, no food, no food
No food, no food, we have no food
Well, then I'm gonna get proactivated.
I know where there's food a-plentiful.
We're going outside? Without a human?
Could be kind of dangerous, you know, in a lethally sort of way.
We'll stick to the shadows, honey. It's coolness.
(DOOR OPENS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
BABE: Wait. Wait a minute.
Where's the food? I have to eat.
(WHISPERING) Hey. Keep your voice down.
(WHISPERING) I'll do anything, absolutely anything.
Go porkinate.
What can you do? You don't even have any hands.
What can I do? Lots.
Yeah, right.
Sheep. I can herd sheep.
Go home, sweetie. You're making a spectacle of yourself.
Wait a momentum.
I'm thinking I might have some of those sheep for him to herd.
- You do? - Uh-huh. I'll show you.
Right here, behind the Food-O-Rama,
is where they keep the sheep.
I'm gonna open this hole.
Open Sez-a-Bob.
They're in there.
Border Leicester or Scottish Blackface?
Pit bull and a Doberman pinscher. Very exotic breeds.
Where do you want me to herd them?
That's up to you. Just keep them occupied till we get the necessaries.
Okey-dokey.
Hello?
Anybody home?
(LOUD SNARLING)
Anybody else?
DOBERMAN: You must have a very thin grasp on reality.
Unless, of course, you are suicidal.
(WHIMPERING) I'm just looking for some sheep.
I warned you.
(BARKING)
Baa, ram, ewe.
To your breed, your fleece, to your clan be true.
- (BARKING CONTINUES) - Baa, ram, ewe.
BOB: Down here, honey. Take care, now.
(WHIMPERING)
(SNARLING)
(BARKING)
PIT BULL: I'll head him off.
(SNARLING)
BABE: Let me in.
Please. Somebody.
Let me in.
(CHITTERING)
Open the door.
MAN: Darling, don't get yourself in a state.
It's not my imagination. Something is going on in that place.
MAN: Hortense, you'll miss the aria.
Hortense.
I'm gonna catch me.
(ALL MURMURING)
(PANTING)
(BARKING)
NARRATOR: Something broke through the terror.
Flickerings, fragments of his short life,
the random events that delivered him to this,
his moment of annihilation.
As terror gave way to exhaustion,
Babe turned to his attacker, his eyes filled with one simple question...
Why?
(SCREAMING)
(SNARLING)
(GROANING)
(GASPING)
(SNARLING)
This is what happens, Alan, on the outside.
It's the times, Nigel.
(CLANKING)
Honey, come away.
(HOOFBEATS RUNNING)
(SPLASH)
(MURMURING)
BABE: Please, someone, give us a hand!
(GASPING)
(CHITTERING)
PINK POODLE: Kind sir? Kind sir?
Can you help me?
I have been cruelly cast out and have nowhere to go.
- But how? - Please. Please.
I know you're different from the others.
Those that have had their way with me make their empty promises,
but they are all lies. Lies.
I'm cold, and I'm afraid, and terribly, terribly tired.
- Where's your human? - My humans belong to someone else now.
Someone younger and prettier.
I never ever had a human.
I'm hungry.
My human tied me in a bag and throwed me in the water.
My tummy hurts.
Try not to think about it.
Take pity on us.
We are the excluded, and have nowhere to go.
Well, it is nice and warm inside.
- Not a good idea. - But they...
No, no. No-ness.
Could that be food?
Oh, have mercy.
(ALL CHATTERING)
THELONIUS: Quiet.
Quiet!
You'll bring all manner of trouble.
Perhaps if we all went inside and we all lined up,
I'm sure there'll be enough to go around.
You're talking as if you're the word around here.
PIT BULL: I'd say he is.
(GASPING AND MURMURING)
I'd like to offer up a solution that I feel confident you'll all respond to.
Whatever the pig says, goes.
Anyone hostile to the notion?
- No! - Whatever the pig says!
No problem.
Anybody else?
Fine by moi.
Anybody else else?
It's still just a pig.
PINK POODLE: Well, fluff my fur.
This recalls the glory days when I was dizzy with privilege.
I had my hair styled and my nails manicured.
- Freeloaders. - Riffraff with no manners.
They'll soil willy-nilly, won't they, Alan?
Willy-nilly, Nigel.
PIT BULL: Hey, swine. I want you to have this collar.
That's not necessary.
- Yes, it is. - You're very kind, but...
No, no. I'm anything but kind.
In fact, I have a professional obligation to be malicious.
Then you should change jobs.
- No, I can't. - Yes, you can.
No, no. It's in the bloodline, you see. We were once warriors.
- Now there's just the urge. - Oh.
A murderous shadow lies hard across my soul.
So, should I have let you drown?
Most would have.
Pig, if you were to wear my collar, it would honor me.
(EXCLAIMS)
PIT BULL: Thank the pig.
OLD DOG: Thank you, pig. BABE: You're welcome.
PIT BULL: Thank the pig.
FEMALE DOG: Thank you, pig.
BABE: You're welcome.
PIT BULL: Thank the pig.
MALE DOG: Thank you, pig.
BABE: You're awfully welcome.
Thank the pig.
- Thank you, pig. - You're welcome.
PIT BULL: Thank the pig.
- Thank you, little thingy. - BABE: You're welcome.
PIT BULL: Thank the pig.
Hey! You!
Thanks.
And some for you.
Thank you, your honor.
PIT BULL: Thank the pig.
(SQUEAKING)
PIT BULL: Thank the pig.
FISH: Thank you, Thelonius.
PIT BULL: Okay, folks, cafeteria's closed!
I'm still hungry.
A couple of jelly beans don't even hit the bottom.
- If only there weren't so many of those cats. - Will someone slap the dog?
- Watch it, pussy! - Hey...
Shove it, butt-sniffer!
- BABE: Hey! - (ALL ARGUING)
- Hey! - (ARGUING STOPS)
The chief has something to say.
(MUMBLING)
Well, maybe cats and dogs could be nicer to each other.
Right.
It is decreed that all cats and dogs
put aside their instinctive and fanatical abhorrence of each other
and that hereafter all creatures, great and diminutive, shall be of equal stature,
with rights to liberty and justice that nobody can deny, and so say all of us.
KITTEN: I'm still hungry.
My tummy, it feels all thingy.
I know, honey.
We did all the work. We should get the biggest share.
No, honey. Here.
(MOANS)
What? What's wrong?
(ZOOTIE SIGHS)
Nothing.
NARRATOR: And so, dear ones,
this topsy-turvy night was to end with a beginning.
(READING)
NARRATOR: This event, that weaves a thread from past to future,
soothed the tired hearts of those assembled
and, for a while at least, they put aside their uncertainties.
(BABIES COOING)
I'm an uncle.
Twice.
(COOING CONTINUES)
Who's like us?
Darn few.
Yeah.
Darn few.
- PINK POODLE: Well done! - Congratulations, Mom.
Look at that little face.
- They're so cute. - They've got their father's ears.
FEMALE DOG: I just wanna lick them all over their little faces.
On behalf of us all, I'm sure the Chief would like to
extend a special welcome. So, listen up!
Well, I...
Ahem...
(SINGING SWEET SONG)
(SCATTING IN TUNE)
(ALL SCATTING)
(FISH SCATTING)
Pig! Pig!
(ANIMALS HOWLING)
God! Roger, the place is teeming!
Overrun with filthy animals. It's a zoo!
(ALL SCATTING)
Ferdinand!
PIT BULL: Hey, wait. Pig, where you going?
(LAUGHING)
- Oh, Ferdy! - FERDINAND: Give us a peck! Come on, pig!
Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss.
- Who are these losers? - Ferdy!
What's going on here? You look different.
Yeah. Well, this place can really take it out of you.
Tell me about it. But, hey, I'm with my pig. My lucky, lucky pig!
Little old Ferdy,
snug and safe at last.
MAN 1: Man!
MAN 2: It's gonna be a real busy night.
(ANIMALS WHINING)
MAN 1: I'll check upstairs.
My word!
There's no one home!
Come on.
(MAN 1 WHISTLING)
Well, bite my tail.
(MAN 1 CONTINUES WHISTLING)
Don't! Don't go there.
MAN 1: Good girl.
That's my pretty girl. Yeah.
Pig, let's go home.
(ANIMALS SCREECHING)
(SNARLING)
(WHIMPERING)
MAN 1: Now!
(BOB EXCLAIMING)
(MEN GROANING)
FERDINAND: Pig? Pig!
Come on, Zootie.
(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO)
MAN 1: Okay, now. MAN 2: Okay.
MAN 1: You got him. You got him.
- All right. He's on. - Really?
Pull him in. Pull him in. Come on, you got him.
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
WOMAN: Okay.
MAN 3: Net.
(ZOOTIE SHRIEKING)
(FERDINAND SNEEZES)
FERDINAND: Are there any cats in here?
Cats? Cats? Cats, no. Absolutely not. No cat would dare come in here.
But I'm allergic to... (STAMMERING)
(SNEEZES)
(ANIMALS COMPLAINING LOUDLY)
(GROWLING)
Good heavens! His heart condition!
He'll kill himself, won't he, Alan?
Yes, Nigel.
- Flealick! Flealick! - Flealick!
Hey, get a load of this.
Think we can get out of here without either one of us getting hurt?
How about you cooperate with me?
MOUSE: Do something!
BABE: Water!
He needs water!
(THELONIUS SHRIEKING)
(SQUAWKS) Whoa! Whoa!
MICE: (SQUEAKING) Ew!
(FISH SCREAMING)
(SIGHS)
Thank you, pig!
(WORRIED CHATTERING)
(CHITTERING)
(EXCLAIMING)
What is that? Get it out of here.
What are we gonna do with that?
Come on! Let's go!
NIGEL: Flealick! ALAN: Flealick!
(PANTING)
MAN: What happened to you?
(SNARLING)
Flealick!
Let go! Let go, Flealick!
(SQUAWKING)
(SNARLING)
(FLEALICK PANTING)
(EXCLAIMING)
BABE: Flealick.
Flealick?
Huh?
Flealick?
Can you hear me?
(FERDINAND QUACKING)
Are you okay?
FLEALICK: Just flip me over. Flip me over.
Okay. Okay! Whew!
Feeling good, feeling peppy! (SNIFFS)
All right. They went this way.
Actually, Flealick, I think it's the other way.
Wait a minute. What are you doing?
- It's all in the hooter, Ferdy. The schnoz. - The what?
The olfactory instrument.
FERDINAND: Pig! Pig, pig. You're unraveling here!
"A," they are long gone. "B," they were not nice people.
"C" is for "kamikaze" and "D" is for "delusional,"
which is what you are in the head!
- Ferdy. - Face it. You're just a little pig in the big city.
What can you possibly do? What can anyone do? Why even try?
(WHEEL SQUEAKING)
Huh?
Would you help me off with this, please?
Ferdinand the Duck. Witness to insanity.
(READING)
MOUSE: Sorry.
NARRATOR: Sometimes we discover our talents only through necessity.
Babe, who never used his nose for anything but the piggish pursuit of food,
soon found he could make his way through the trickiest of smellscapes.
As the morning wore on, he became quite the virtuoso.
BABE: It's close. It's close. We're getting close.
(SCOFFS)
Tourists.
BABE: I do believe we're here.
(ANIMALS EXCLAIMING)
(CHITTERING)
Dead. Dead. I knew it. They're all dead.
- They're not dead. - Let's go get them.
- Hey. - BABE: Flealick.
If we get caught, we won't be able to help anybody.
MRS. HOGGETT: Yes, I've given myself a good, hard talking-to, let me tell you.
I said to myself, "Esme, you have let Arthur down,
"you have let yourself down, and you have let the pig down."
NARRATOR: The judge had never heard anyone
speak so many words in so short a time.
Evidently, this was a woman of clear conscience and good intent.
I used to dismiss pigs, but then a pig became my husband's best friend.
NARRATOR: Besides, he grew up on a farm and had a fondness for pigs.
...you can bind me in chains, but the minute I'm set free,
I shall march straight back out into those ugly streets
and continue to search for my Arthur's pig!
Case dismissed!
(CHITTERING)
BABE: Hello? Hello?
BOB: It's the pinkness! EASY: All right!
ZOOTIE: Thingy! PIT BULL: Chief!
PINK POODLE: Oh, I knew he'd come.
PIT BULL: Hot-diggety doggie-doo!
- (SHUSHING) We have to be quiet. - PIT BULL: Sorry.
- I'll go lock up. - All right.
Okay, okay. You all know the term "survival of the fastest."
Well, I've got an idea. We split into two groups.
Fast ones come with me. The slow ones stay behind and sacrifice themselves.
- BABE: Ferdinand! - Well, that way we don't all die.
I think that's only reasonable. Don't you?
Where's Thelonius?
What are you doing?
I'm not dressed.
But, Thelonius, you're an orangu-thingy.
- Well, I'm not dressed. - BABE: Mr. Thelonius?
Time to go.
BOB: This is insanitary.
THELONIUS: Thank you for waiting.
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
BABE: Quick, go back.
(FERDINAND EXCLAIMING)
(DOOR LOCKS)
PINK POODLE: When is something nice gonna happen to me?
Oxygen. Oxygen.
(OPERA MUSIC PLAYING NEXT DOOR)
MRS. HOGGETT: Hello?
Hello?
(SNAPPING)
Pig?
What's going on? What happened?
I thought I could make a place where we would all be okay.
But how can you do that here?
This used to be a lovely neighborhood.
People kept an eye out for each other. They really did.
But now, I'm away for one night, just one night,
with my Uncle Fugly on his deathbed.
You poor, wee thing.
Why couldn't they just leave us be?
- Who? - What did the animals ever do to her?
- Who? - Her! That...
Her.
(OPERA MUSIC PLAYING)
Right.
Clothes. Got anything that'll fit me?
(BELLS JINGLING)
(SHOES SQUEAKING)
(POUNDING ON DOOR)
Where are our animals?
(RATTLING)
NIGEL: I'm not going across there. ALAN: Do it, Nigel.
FERDINAND: It's just a walk in the park.
Try and use all of your legs.
Come on, we're almost not there.
PINK POODLE: In this whole wide world, is there anywhere that's truly safe?
ZOOTIE: Yeah, for my babies?
BABE: There's a place I know, but it's ever so far away.
- And... - NIGEL: How do we get there?
BABE: Well, first we have to find my human.
MAN: Darling?
There you are.
(JINGLING)
(SQUEAKING)
BABE: (WHISPERING) Quietly. FERDINAND: (WHISPERING) Quietly.
Four leg. Two.
This is a dog.
And a pig.
Hi, monkey.
Come on, Thelonius. Come on.
(FERDINAND QUACKING)
(BABE SNORTING)
(SIREN WAILING)
- MAN: John? John. - (ELEVATOR DINGS)
Mrs. Willis.
- Any pain? - No. Very little.
Good.
- Good evening, Doctor. Good evening, sir. - Good evening.
Okay. Thank you. Have a good night.
(SIREN CONTINUES WAILING)
(SQUEAKING)
(BARKING)
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
Evening.
We're looking for some animals.
What kind?
Pig, cats, dogs, monkeys,
that sort of thing.
(ELEVATOR DINGS)
(ANIMALS HOWLING)
Hey! You can't come in here.
(GASPS)
Pig!
(SHRIEKS)
Well, bite my tail.
EASY: This must be the fun.
Oh. What a surprise.
I adore surprises.
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
(ALL SCREAMING)
Okay, go!
(BABBLING)
Pig? Pig, pig, pig...
Whoa!
It is her! It's her!
FERDINAND: Sure, it's her. MRS. HOGGETT: Stay, pig, stay!
But it looks like Himself!
Thelonius, I don't think so.
I tell you, it's Himself.
Things are looking up, Ferdy.
CHEF: You're coming with me, porky.
- That's not your pig! - He is my pig now.
LANDLADY: Esme! The chef's got your pig!
(GASPS)
(GRUNTING)
(FLEALICK GROWLING)
Okay, Thelonius, let's go.
(GUESTS EXCLAIMING)
MAN: Grab her, man!
(BABE SQUEALING)
(QUACKING)
I am Esme Cordelia Hoggett,
and I've come for my Arthur's pig!
(GASPS)
(EXCLAIMING)
(TINKLING)
(BABE SQUEALING)
(GUESTS EXCLAIMING)
(MRS. HOGGETT WHOOPING)
(WHOOPING)
(GUEST EXCLAIMING)
Isn't this appalling?
(HISSING)
(SCREAMING)
(MUFFLED GROWLING)
Come on, Ferdy. Come on.
MRS. HOGGETT: Come on, pig! Come on.
(GUESTS EXCLAIMING)
(PANTING) I'm coming. I'm coming.
Grab him!
(BABE SQUEALING)
(GUESTS GASP)
(BABE SQUEALING)
(MAN EXCLAIMING)
(MAN SCREAMING)
Pig!
(QUACKING)
(CHANDELIER GROANING)
(WOMAN LAUGHS)
(MRS. HOGGETT GROANING)
ZOOTIE: No.
BOB: What, honey? What's wrong?
ZOOTIE: I think I dropped a baby.
BOB: What do you mean, you dropped a baby?
- I must have dropped the other baby. - Oh, Zootie.
Calm down. Calm down. Zootie, don't worry, honey.
We'll still find the baby. The baby has to be right here.
My baby! My baby!
(SQUEALING)
Thelonius, look! Look up!
(SCREAMING)
ALL: Oh!
(BABY CRIES)
(COOING)
- Thank you. - Yeah, Thelonius. Thank you.
Thank the pig.
Pig, you get here now!
(TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING)
NARRATOR: You can't always put things back together as they were,
but you can look to something afresh.
At least that's what the two ladies decided.
So it was, the hotel was rented out, and this provided for a curious arrangement.
Roger! Roger!
(MICE HUMMING WISTFUL SONG)
NARRATOR: The money from the hotel
allowed the Hoggetts to keep the farm from the bank.
Race you home, Alan.
(PANTING) You betcha, Nigel.
NARRATOR: And so it was, the pig brought the two worlds together.
Two broken halves to make something afresh,
in a place just a little to the left of the 20th century.
The chimpanzees left show business behind
and were able to be chimpanzees.
(MURMURING)
As you would expect, the air agreed with them immeasurably.
Although the others got a taste for country life,
Flealick found the pace too slow
(SNARLING)
and took to chasing trucks.
Sad to say,
the thing between the pit bull and pink poodle didn't last.
She ran off with another dog and left him with the kids.
Come on, kids, you got to be scary. You're warriors. Give me your snarl.
ALL: But, Dad, do we have to?
We don't want to.
(MICE CONTINUE HUMMING)
As for the orangutan,
he insisted on staying at the farmhouse with Herself.
And finally, dear ones, the pig and the farmer
were content again in each other's company.
And things were back to where they started, more or less.
Hmm.
(PIPE RATTLING)
HOGGETT: That'll do, pig.
That'll do.
Thank you for staying till the end.
Bye-bye.