Roberta's mad at me. Can you feel it?
I'm not mad. I just wonder if this is the most optimal use of your time...
...since we're missing vital interface with voters at Faneuil Hall.
- Not to mention... - Roberta.
We have plenty of time for all that. We'll just be here 20 minutes.
We need to get to the harbor for the EPA announcement...
...which will have crews from every local station.
- Cable news. - Probably make the Globe, above the fold.
- So 20 minutes, right? - Yes, 20 minutes.
That's another thing. Who the hell is Alan Shore?
- Hello, Samantha. - Alan.
Samantha Fleming, this is Tara Wilson.
- Hello. - Pleasure.
- Do you get any sleep at all? - Yes. About three hours a night.
- Twenty minutes. - Well, Jack...
- ...shouldn't I be part of the meeting? - No.
Samantha and I will take this one alone.
The accusations were shocking:
Money laundering.
Tax evasion. Obstruction of justice.
The verdict, guilty on all counts.
And now, believe it or not, Jack Fleming wants to be our next mayor.
Ask yourself, would you rather have a candidate with convictions...
...or a candidate who's been convicted?
Paid for by the committee to reelect Mayor Thomas Snyder.
In your defense, black and white makes us all look a bit like Moe Howard.
It gets me ticked off every time I see the damn thing.
And there is not a word of truth in it.
But apparently that doesn't matter.
You know, I've got three Harvard law professors...
...and a former U.S. attorney on my campaign committee...
...all saying that there is no way I can get that ad yanked off the air.
So I doubt if you've got a silver bullet here, AI. No offense.
"Alan. " None taken.
The ad is completely false. Jack was never convicted of those charges.
It was a third generation family real-estate trust.
He was a passive beneficiary.
A victim of a trustee whose greed got the trust prosecuted...
...not Jack personally. I know you can help us.
You should feel flattered, Alan.
My wife seems to hold you in very high esteem.
And I her.
As you know, in college, not a day went by that I didn't long to sleep with you.
I hope I'm not being inappropriate.
- As a matter of fact, you are. - Then my apologies.
When you spoke about truth...
...I mistook that as a preference for full disclosure.
Boys, we don't have time for this.
I know it's gonna be tough to get an injunction on this thing.
You've read the First Amendment.
Three days ago we had a double-digit lead.
Then they put this on the air and our polls dropped six points in 72 hours.
If we don't move fast, we're going to lose. All because of this late hit.
These lies.
Please help us.
Let me see if I understand this. In college...
- ...you longed to have sex with her. - Yes.
You ached to feel her naked body pressed up against yours.
Yes. Well said.
- And yet nothing ever happened? - We suffered from bad timing.
You're wondering if that's our destiny, yours and mine.
- Twenty years of unrequited foreplay. - Is that what you want?
Is that what you want?
Well, it seems that our timing might also...
Mr. Shore.
I saw you in the conference room with Jack Fleming.
- What were you two doing? - Tai chi, actually.
I hope it is clear that it would be an unacceptable conflict of interest...
...for you to represent Jack Fleming in any matter.
This firm is extremely close to Mayor Snyder.
Then this firm should take a shower. He is a callous, smug and brutish man...
...who hates the poor and abuses the powerless.
You're not following me.
We earn a great deal of money working for the city...
...due primarily to Mayor Snyder's goodwill.
One would think that was obvious.
One would.
Well...
...now I have to take the case.
- I'm gonna ask you a series of... - Denny Crane.
Why did you just say that?
Well, isn't it how you guys usually begin a mental-status examination...
...by determining if the subject knows his own name?
- Well, yes. - Denny Crane.
- Got it. And who am I, Mr. Crane? - You are Dr. Thomas H. Lee, neurologist.
Good. Can you tell me what day of the week this is?
Monday. And a particularly crisp and beautiful one too, I might add.
Good. And who is the current president of the United States?
That would be Ernest Borgnine.
I'll bet you get lunatics in here every day that...
That say that stuff for real, right?
The president of the United States is George Walker Bush...
...son to George H. W. Bush...
...whose father was the senator, Prescott Bush...
...who at Yale once wrestled my father in the nude.
But that's a story for another day. Let's stick to the issues at hand.
Denny Crane.
Flight risk? Your Honor, my client can barely walk.
He weighs 300 pounds and suffers from acute rheumatoid arthritis.
Plus, I think I got a touch of the gout, judge. I ain't going nowhere.
He was moving pretty good when he left that jewelry store.
It was a one-time adrenaline rush.
Your OR motion is denied, Miss Colson. Bail set at 50,000.
We'll take 15, folks.
This way.
- You got a minute? - Sure.
I need a good lawyer.
You available?
- Flattered. What's up? - Well, Marcy and I split up.
Yeah. I was so sorry to hear that.
I can recommend somebody. I don't do matrimonial work.
No, no. I already found somebody for that part. There's something else.
Five years ago, when my son was born...
...we saved his umbilical cord blood.
- In the delivery room? - Right.
It's stored in one of those cryolabs...
...in case Zachary needs to use it to treat a cancer he develops, God forbid.
Welcome to parenting in the new millennium.
Anyway, the account, it was opened in Marcy's name.
Which at the time, I didn't think twice about.
The lab says that makes her the responsible party...
...not the two of us jointly.
She's refusing to release the cord blood. She won't let it be used.
Your son is sick?
I'm sick.
Multiple myeloma. It was diagnosed six months ago.
- Oh, Richard, I... - chemo hasn't worked so far...
...and they're saying that I need a bone marrow transplant.
But they can't find a suitable donor.
And your son's cord blood would work instead?
- They think so. - It's just sitting in a freezer?
Just sitting. Without it, they give me six months...
...maybe.
Do you think I got a lawsuit?
Let's meet with her first, hope we don't have to file.
Good, okay. Thanks.
And then what happened, Mr. Shrum?
Well, when I couldn't get the Pop-Tart out of the toaster, I unplugged it.
And then I jammed a fork down the slot...
...and I must've jiggered it around pretty good...
Give us a moment, please.
Mark, what did I tell you about volunteering extraneous information?
- Not to. - Right.
This is a deposition. Answer the questions truthfully...
...but never volunteer anything.
So don't add stuff like "jiggering forks around pretty good."
Just answer every question with as few words as possible.
Got it. Sorry.
All right, Mr. Shrum...
...when you repeatedly manipulated the fork around in the toaster slot...
...and then received an electrical shock and second-degree burns...
...whose fault would you say that was?
Mine?
I can't answer any shorter. That was one word.
Denny...
...we really do need to talk.
The partners are concerned.
- About what? - Well, your billables.
Do you realize that so far this year, you've only billed 1400 hours...
...which is 200 hours less than you had billed up to this point in calendar '03?
Which was, as you know, a year that saw a marked decline...
- Breakfast? - I already ate.
In short, Denny, you are coming in light by about 700,000 a year.
Which means that since calendar '99 alone...
...you have cost us 3.5 million.
- You ever forget things? - Things? Like what?
Names, where you put the car keys, whether or not you showered...
...what a case you're arguing is all about?
Not really.
Well, you should get it looked at just the same.
You could have what is called mild cognitive impairment.
It's a precursor to Alzheimer's.
Denny, you are theoretically our foremost rainmaker...
...but you haven't brought in a new seven-figure client in two years.
You haven't filed a class action in five years.
Care to guess how much Lisby, DeRusen and Floren billed...
...as lead counsel in the tobacco class action?
One hundred and twenty-seven million.
It's raining cash out there, Denny. We're not getting wet.
- You could do crossword puzzles. - Excuse me?
It's a great brain stimulator. So is learning new skills.
You know what else helps?
Speaking from time to time in a foreign language.
What are you...
- ...doing? - Researching a case citation.
Have you ever used a computer before?
An entirely new experience.
Bottom line, Your Honor...
...if Mr. Fleming feels aggrieved by how he's portrayed in the commercials...
...then let him counter it with his own.
As Justice Brandeis said, "The best antidote to false speech is more speech."
It's not surprising Brandeis would say that.
He was a well-known drunk and pedophile.
No, he wasn't.
That's right. He wasn't. I made it up.
Does anyone have a problem with me making provably false accusations...
...about honorable people just so my side can win?
That's certainly their strategy.
- He's amazing. - Yes. We're quite fond of him.
Mr. Shore asks that you impose prior restraint on speech.
Not just any speech, but the dialogue of a political contest.
- We don't do that in this country. - If they took a song from the Beatles...
...and used it without permission, would you order it off the air?
- You would. - It's an absurd analogy.
What if they ran a campaign commercial with footage...
...of this lovely woman right here, showering?
Footage taken with a lipstick camera mounted in her health-club locker room.
- This is ridiculous. - The point is...
...in all of those cases...
...we absolutely would see injunctive relief granted.
Those are rights worth protecting.
And so is the right of Jack Fleming to have the truth told about his life.
But how do we determine the truth, Your Honor?
Would Mr. Shore have us establish a government department of veracity?
Mr. Fleming already has a remedy available. It's called a slander suit.
I'm curious. When one wins a slander suit, does the court award votes?
That's the issue. They're trying to cost him the election now...
...even if they have to pay him a few dollars years from now.
Well, this has been fascinating, gentlemen.
Kind of like debate night at Mensa.
Mr. Gellman, that Tv spot you're defending is emphatically vile.
But, Mr. Shore, he's right.
Political speech is not subject to prior judicial review.
And thank the Lord, or it's all I'd ever do.
We're adjourned.
- Well, that was discouraging. - It was.
- I'm sorry. - You tried.
What now?
I'm gonna recommend we do a sitdown with the four local anchormen.
You by Jack's side doing the "stand by your man" thing.
Very important when accusations go to character like this...
...answer every question, dominate the airwaves. The message:
"Our guy is a superior piece of manpower."
- Feedback? - Sounds good.
- That copacetic on your end? - Sure.
Copacetic on my end too.
Your end?
Got it. Right back with your coffee.
Thank you.
We're very grateful that you agreed to meet with us.
Did I have a choice? You were pretty insistent on the phone.
Sorry, it's just a situation of some urgency.
I know you said you didn't want counsel, but I would suggest...
We've spent enough on lawyers.
Had a five-star divorce, didn't we?
Look, I have to pick up Zach from a playdate, so...
Well, what I came to say, it's simple, Marcy.
I'm sick, and I need your help.
I can't let you use Zach's cord blood. I told you that when you called.
What if he gets sick and needs it himself? We saved it for a reason.
I understand your feelings, but perhaps...
Do you have children, Miss Colson?
No.
You wanna protect Zach. And I understand that.
But how about protecting him from losing his father?
He's not gonna lose you. You're strong. You'll beat this.
No. Not without a compatible donor.
This isn't some simple transfusion we're talking about.
They need an exact match, and they can't find one.
They've tried, Marcy. Don't you get it?
- They should keep trying. - I'm running out of time!
Please don't yell at me.
I'm sorry.
I was thinking on the way over here about the day Zach was born.
And holding him.
And feeling as if I was part of some great continuum.
Feeling as if...
It's stupid, but feeling as if I had thrown my DNA forward into the future.
You know, like some biological javelin.
He's my flesh and blood, Marcy.
I would never do anything to put him at risk.
I've read all the literature.
The chances of Zach ever needing to use this are about one in 2700.
But I need it now...
...to live.
I am his flesh and blood too, Marcy.
Please, don't ask me about this again.
Either of you.
It's okay.
I understand you provided representation to Jack Fleming after all...
...contrary to my explicit instructions.
I did. But please understand...
...ordinarily I place great value on all things explicit.
Is it your feeling that Denny Crane will protect you from me?
It is.
To the extent that he recalls who I am.
Well, perhaps it will jog his memory...
...when I devote a large portion of next month's senior partners meeting...
...to a discussion of your situation here.
Miss Wilson.
- Was that man threatening you again? - Yes.
It seems to be his job description.
CNN said the election was too close to call.
Fleming is up two points, but it's within the margin of error.
I think that's what I'll call my autobiography.
Within the Margin of Error.
Will I be in it?
Depends on who ghosts it. I'll certainly lobby on your behalf.
Well...
...I'II expect a chapter, minimum.
Well, I would imagine you could earn a chapter quite easily if...
Could you help me with this product-liability issue?
- Never mind. - No, please. I'm all yours.
Hardly.
Ever used a computer?
Denny.
- Yes. Yes, I have. - Remarkable machine.
Let me ask you a question.
A manufacturer of toasters should anticipate...
...their safety instructions will be ignored to the extent they're counterintuitive...
...and should plan for that contingency, right?
In an ideal world.
What are you doing here?
I was afraid you'd hang up if I tried calling you.
- Can we talk? - I have nothing else to say.
I think I know your secret.
It was only one time.
Richard and I had just had a huge fight.
I spent the weekend at my sister's.
And there was a guy there, this houseguest of hers.
We were all drinking wine...
...and suddenly he and I were alone.
And it just happened.
I agonized about whether or not to have the baby.
In retrospect, I can't imagine not, you know?
But I promised myself that Richard would never, ever find out.
You can't tell him.
You should tell him.
- He deserves to know, especially now. - No. Now would be the worst time.
Being Zach's father is what he lives for.
If you don't tell him, I will.
I'm his attorney. I have an obligation.
Just tell him I won't release the cord blood.
Tell him to keep trying to find a match. He needs to keep trying.
If Zachary's blood could save him, I would let him have it.
And it tears me apart that I can't tell him that. But I can't.
How did you figure it out?
Occupational hazard. I watch people's eyes.
When Richard was telling you how he felt the day Zach was born...
Promise me you won't tell him.
I have an obligation.
Samantha.
- You're wet. - It's raining.
He's screwing her.
That media consultant, Roberta.
She left a detailed message on his cell phone.
Didn't know I was borrowing it.
Come in. Get dry.
Buy me a drink?
Maybe if he had done it with somebody extraordinary.
Roberta, she's...
- She's just so... - Sufficient.
I'm sorry.
It's fine. This is my regular place. I bring crying women here all the time.
Oh, really?
Well...
...I guess I'm that cliché.
The credulous political wife, cheated on, humiliated...
...didn't see it coming.
I have to do that interview with him tomorrow.
Stand by my man.
He doesn't know that I know.
What do I do?
What do you want?
I want out.
I guess I am out.
I guess I've been out.
I do want him to win the election.
I do. He'd be a great mayor. He really does care about people.
As long as they're strangers to him.
You really don't like him.
Is that why you made that joke in your conference room when...?
When I said not a day in college went by that I didn't long to sleep with you?
Yeah.
It wasn't a joke.
I had a place all picked out back then. A motel out on Route 9.
The Aloha Inn.
I thought you might appreciate the tropical ambiance.
I'm imagining a lot of rattan and plastic orchids.
There's a neon sign out front that blinks "Aloha" in orange...
...then "Inn" in pink...
...then the hula girl's skirt in green...
...over and over and over.
Sounds lush.
And all night long, the rooms are flooded with the glow of that neon.
And I always wondered how you would look naked in all that...
...pink, green and orange.
- Hi. - Hi.
You okay?
I'm gonna see if the candidate can squeeze me in for a moment.
Moment of your time?
- Are you joking? We're about to start. - It's a pressing matter.
Perhaps we could duck in there.
- You've got 30 seconds. - Then I better jump right in.
Do you have a favorite movie about politics?
Mine is The Candidate.
- Okay, we're done here. - I still have 20 seconds left.
I especially like that scene after Redford wins the election...
...when he asks his top advisor:
"Marvin, what do we do now?"
- Goodbye, Mr. Shore. - You're a married man, Jack...
...having a furtive sexual relationship with your media consultant...
...which begs the question:
"Marvin, what do we do now?"
Of course, your name isn't Marvin...
...and Redford had already won.
You, on the other hand, could still lose...
...if anything unpleasant were to come up.
- And does she know? - Use her name.
- Does Samantha know? - Samantha knows.
This is a memorandum of agreement.
By all means read it when you have a moment.
But I'll need your signature now, I'm afraid. So here are the headlines:
Samantha will do your dog-and-pony show out there...
...and all other events with you from now through the inauguration...
...should you have one.
She, of course, smiling at all times exactly like Pat Nixon.
And in return, after the divorce...
...she gets a meaningful role in every high-level appointment...
...and major policy initiative during your first term.
She put you here. She's earned it.
I would never, ever give her that.
- Do you understand? - Perfectly.
So then we'll handle this transaction...
...in the only currency that's really available to us.
Samantha gets the house in Nantucket...
...75 percent of all funds in the various bank accounts...
...as of close of business yesterday. The mutual funds in their entirety...
...and 60 percent of all other assets as determined by the forensic accountants...
...that we will hire and you will pay for.
Be sure to date it on the bottom there.
- You can't lie to a client. - I know, I told her.
It's just, the news will crush him. And to what end?
- What good will have been done? - He will have been dealt with truthfully...
- ...by his attorney. That's the good. - I know all the law school arguments.
- Let's talk real world here. - Okay. Real world.
If I learned that an attorney in this firm knowingly lied to a client...
...a lie central to the matter the client had retained us to handle...
...I would personally report it to the ethics committee of the state bar...
...regardless of whatever respect or affection...
...I might feel for the attorney in question.
- I'm sorry. - I was just leaving.
- Hey. - Hi.
Hey, thanks for seeing me on such short notice.
I could've faxed this, but I wanted to massage some of the language with you.
You'll be a better judge on whether the arguments are too inflammatory...
...which is a pitfall on filing appellate papers on your ex-wife.
- Richard, listen. - I'll shut up. I'm sorry.
Look, there's something I need to tell you...
...and I don't know how to begin.
You said my client was here. Mark Shrum.
He was here. Mr. Crane came out to get him.
Denny got him?
I don't understand how Marcy could do this.
She feels deeply ashamed.
But the priority now has to be finding you a suitable donor.
But how could Marcy destroy the cord blood?
It wasn't intentional.
She was having it transferred last week from one lab to another.
I guess she wanted to hide it from you. There was a shipping glitch.
It went 36 hours without being refrigerated.
She's devastated.
I talked to Denny Crane. He's a trustee of Boston General.
He's having their chief of Oncology call you.
Thank you. That's very kind.
They'll find you a match. I know they will.
You're gonna get through this.
Let's hope.
- -And at other times called it obnoxious...
...this refusal of Mayor Snyder to agree to debate his challenger.
Of course, there was one joint appearance...
...the two candidates sharing the same stage at one point...
...when the Snyder camp called a debate in which...
It feels good, doesn't it?
- What feels good? - Having sex with a candidate.
What if he wins? I bet the orgasms are even better if he wins.
I'm jealous.
Any minute now.
- We're ready to make a call in the race. - Okay, everybody, this is it!
Based on exit polling, we are now projecting that Mayor Thomas Snyder...
- ...has lost his bid to win. - All right, Jack Fleming!
The new mayor will be Boston businessman...
...and former city councilman Jack Fleming.
When he launched his campaign two years ago...
...he had no chance realistically against the popular two-term mayor.
But he ran a determined and, you could say tonight, successful effort.
He fashioned together, if you will, a coalition of various groups...
...often referred to as his traveling town hall...
...in which he would appear at venues around the city...
...and take questions from voters.
Always leaving an empty chair on the stage...
...to symbolize what he called Mayor Tom Snyder's "arrogant refusal. "
- Let's go. - He'll want you downstairs...
...in the ballroom basking in the adulation.
- Part of the deal. - New deal. This is where I get off.
- Coming? - But one thing we do know tonight...
...the Thomas Snyder era is coming to an end...
...and Boston's new mayor will be Jack Fleming.
Stan Forrester is standing by at the Fleming victory party at the Hyatt...
...where a very happy crowd is waiting for the mayor-elect...
...and his wife to make their way down to the ballroom.
Can you hear me, Stan?
Denny...
...I'm worried about you. You're speaking French to the messengers.
You got crossword puzzles spread out all over the conference table.
You walk into reception, hijack one of Sally Heep's clients...
...have a meeting with him in your office.
Did you even know what his case was about?
I took that test the other day.
The one where they ask you questions to see if you've turned into an imbecile.
They do a scan of your brain. You know what they found?
I have a lot of blue, yellow and red stuff colliding up there.
The damn MRI photo looks like a hurricane.
I don't remember what was the good color...
...and what was the bad color. But the point is this:
They discovered that I remember some things and I forget others.
And that's the way it's gonna be.
You wanna know what that man's case is about?
He stuck a fork in a toaster. It's a little pissant lawsuit.
But I remember what you said the other day.
- What was that? - Seriously, Paul...
...you have to have that test.
You said that we weren't filing enough class-action suits.
That we were missing out on a gold shower.
I believe I said a money shower.
When I heard the fact pattern of the Sally Heep case...
...I was able to persuade Mr. Shrum that there was a greater good.
And long story short, happily...
...the toaster company was open to my argument.
What argument?
That an attorney like Denny Crane...
...with extensive class-action experience...
...could easily turn Mr. Shrum's case into a lucrative opportunity.
On the other hand...
...if they were to give Denny Crane their ongoing legal business...
...augmenting the fine work done by the in-house counsel...
...then Denny Crane would be unavailable to represent Mr. Shrum...
...who incidentally is going to receive...
...fifty thousand dollars from the company as a goodwill gesture.
So don't you worry too much, Paul...
...about Denny Crane.
And I also want to say to my wife...
...Samantha, who could not be here, she's a little under the weather...
...Samantha, I love you.
I wish you could be right up here beside me right now.
That's right. Sure we do.
Okay. Thank you all.
God bless you, Boston.
You did the right thing.
Yes, I did.
I lied to him.
Lori...
...you realize you have exposed this firm...
...to a potentially enormous liability award...
...and imposed on me certain excruciating ethical obligations.
You'll do the right thing too.
We should've done this much sooner.
Let's do it again.
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