Previously on Boston Legal .
I met somebody wonderful.
- Fab. And? - And she's suing me for sexual assault.
You need to talk directly to her and hope she's persuaded.
Do we have a chance of getting back? Yeah. I'd really like that.
Mr. Shore, you came down here from Massachusetts?
Yes. You know what I'd like to propose?
I'd like to propose that you've got a problem with the death penalty in general.
Now, is that why you came here, sir?
I have a problem with a state executing a man with diminished capacity.
[ Bell Dings ]
Jerry? Katie, hello. Welcome. Hello.
Everything all right? Yes, hello. Welcome.
Jerry, your face is beet red. Are you sure you're okay?
I'm fine. I'm not sure you are.
Look at his face. He's completely scarlet.
- I'm fine! - Jerry, look at me.
Has he been drinking?
What's going on, Jerry? Nothin'!
[ Chuckles ] Jerry.
I lost my cherry.
- [ Popping ] - [ Mouthing Words ]
[ Chuckles ]
Okay, but first, I'm assuming the sex was safe.
Of course.
Why are you looking at me like I've done something bad?
I thought sex was supposed to be something wonderful.
Well, it is, it is!
Was it? Yes! It was tender.
It was lovely.
It was everything I ever imagined.
And it was with Dana?
Of course it was with Dana. She's my girlfriend.
[ Knocking ] Alan? Ah--
Could I steal you for a second? It's important.
I lost my cherry. [ Pops ]
Alan.
Hmm.
[ Laughing ]
What's going on? We have a new client. He raped an eight-year-old girl.
He's been convicted. His lawyer's come to us to handle his appeal.
Specifically, she asked for you. I'll pass.
The man has been sentenced to death, Alan.
The appeal is before the United States Supreme Court.
The United States Supreme Court.
** [ Funk ] ** [ Man Vocalizing ]
[ Man ] * Uh-huh
* All right
* Come on
All right *
* Well, yeah
* Outlaw *
The argument is scheduled for Wednesday. I brought all the files up with me.
So-- This Wednesday? Isn't this a little last-minute?
Well, the truth is I planned to argue it myself.
But I've tried three cases in my life and I'm not ready for the Supreme Court.
- And you think he is? - I've read the transcript from his death case in Texas.
You're what I'm looking for.
I have a flight waiting to Louisiana. That's where the client is.
I'd like for you to meet him.
[ Sighs ] Did he do it?
He says he didn't. He has an I.Q. of 70.
So-- Well, executions of the mentally disabled are unconstitutional.
He was never officially pronounced disabled.
- A 70 I.Q. only puts him in range. But in Louisiana-- - He could be governor.
I'm from Louisiana.
I'm sorry. It's just when it comes to jokes or women, I can never resist the cheap ones.
Are you cheap? A-After you meet the client,
- I've arranged for the mooters to be here tonight. - The mooters?
A law firm that preps lawyers to argue before the Supreme Court.
Most have argued there themselves, clerked for the justices.
They'll tell you how they think, how each one'll likely vote.
They'll put you through a mini boot camp to make sure you're ready.
- [ Laughs ] In just two days? - In just two days.
[ Chuckles ]
Fired up? Ready to go?
The fact that the Supreme Court is even willing to listen to your case is a very good thing.
Will I get to go home?
No, Lenny.
You'll probably never get to go home. I explained this.
This is, oh, uh, to stop them from executing you.
I never was arrested for a crime before.
You can check. I never ever been arrested or convicted or anything.
Will you tell them that? I will.
And I didn't do what they said I did. I promise.
Make sure you tell them that.
That's really important.
That's really... important.
Call her? Well, it wouldn't be the worst idea.
What should I say?
Well, perhaps exactly what you shared with Alan and me--
that you found it tender, loving, magical.
Okay.
- [ Knocking ] - [ Gasps ]
- Hi, Jerry. - Dana, hello, welcome.
I was just about to call you to tell you the sex was tender, loving and magical.
Ohh. [ Popping ]
I'm sorry. That's okay.
I'll give you some privacy.
I just came by to say the same thing, Jerry.
Last night was really special for me. It was?
It was everything that making love should be.
You were caring, respectful--
You're a wonderful man.
You're a wonderful woman.
[ Both Laugh ]
Wow.
What a day.
And it isn't even over yet.
[ Sighs ]
What?
Little field trip, Alan?
You think you're going to the Supreme Court without me?
Denny, this isn't your kind of case.
- If it's before the Supreme Court, it's my kind of case. - The client raped a child.
[ Whispers ] It's not about the client. It's about me!
Denny--
The only thing missing from my legacy is an appearance before the highest court in the land.
My best friend has the power to make that happen, and he didn't tell me.
Denny, the Supreme Court isn't the place for my nonsense,
much less... yours.
I can behave.
Ah-- I can suck it up one more time.
Like I did for my murder trial in January when I rose up and proved to the world--
I won that, right?
You did.
Alan, please.
I have actually dreamed about this more than anything.
You've never told me that.
Well, I never thought I'd have the chance.
And, well, I guess I've never wanted to admit to myself...
that there was anything I hadn't accomplished.
But... to have the chance--
My God, you and I to do this together.
That would be everything.
- Are you out of your mind? - Look, if I do all the talking--
- Denny Crane before the Supreme Court? - We could sell tickets.
Alan, this is not the time. And certainly, definitely not the place.
How much harm can he really do?
Carl, I'll be doing all the arguing. Yes.
And as your back is turned to Denny while you argue,
who's gonna make sure he keeps his pants up?
You got plans?
Lorraine, hello, welcome. Lips!
Dana. Lorraine. Hello.
- You two know each other? - We do.
We work out at the same gym. How are you two acquainted?
- Dana's my girlfriend. - Is she? Well, congratulations to both of you.
[ Elevator Bell Dings ] Well, our reservation's at 6:30.
We'd better go, Jerry. [ Laughs ] It was nice to see you again, Lorraine.
You too, Dana.
[ Man ] The moot court will consist of nine mock justices.
Treat them as you would the actual justices,
which is to say with the utmost respect.
You may think you have some idea of what it's like to argue before the Supreme Court.
Trust me. You do not. This will be the most difficult,
the most high-pressure courtroom experience you'll ever encounter.
[ Farts ]
The justices are intimidating.
They're often abrupt, sometimes rude, all formidable.
You make a single misstep, you're likely to lose.
You have the added pressure of knowing that if you lose, your client dies.
Okay, first off, know that a criminal defendant has a better chance...
of getting a presidential pardon than a reversal from the Supreme Court.
You need five votes. You're not gonna get Roberts, Scalia, Thomas or Alito.
So don't even bother. You should get Ginsburg, Breyer, Souter and Stevens.
Kennedy is the swing. You need to focus on Kennedy.
Keep your argument focused on constitutional issues.
Do not, do not, do not be talking about your client.
Well, if-- He raped a child.
If this turns on whether they care about him, you lose.
What's up?
This needs to be kept confidential.
May I have your word it shall be?
Okay.
- Jerry's girlfriend, Dana Strickland. - What about her?
She works for me.
I beg your pardon?
I didn't entirely give up the brothel business-- only my London office.
You're still a madam?
I am.
And Dana is one of your girls?
She is a rather high-priced call girl.
May it please the Court, my name is Alan Shore.
[ Moot Court Coach ] Don't waste time introducing yourself.
- They'll know who you are. - Fine. I'd first like to direct the Court's attention...
- to the fact that my client has an I.Q. of 70, which means-- - That's not on the table.
Well, don't you think you should put it on the table before killing Mr. Serra?
You speak with a tone like that, you're done.
The only issue here is: Is it constitutional to execute for a non-homicide rape?
This Court already held in Coker v. Georgia...
that the death penalty was not authorized in non-homicide rape.
That case did not speak to the rape of a child.
And also, the Court looked to a national consensus at the time...
which was against capital punishment in non-homicide cases.
- Today the consensus is different. - Wait a second.
So it's to hell with precedent. You're going to gauge popular opinion.
Okay. He's a disaster.
[ Chuckles ]
My turn.
[ Mouths Words ]
So, Lenny, we argue before the Court tomorrow.
They probably won't make a decision right away, so we all have to be patient.
What about, you know, that I'm slow? Does that count?
It does. They'll put you in charge of FEMA.
[ Clears Throat ] You'll tell them I didn't do it, right?
Lenny, for the purpose of this appeal, they have to assume you did.
I want you to tell them I didn't.
And I want you to ask them not to kill me.
I know some guys want to die. I don't.
I need you to tell them that.
** [ Humming ]
Hey, Jerry. How did your dinner go with Dana?
Splendid, thank you! Splendid!
Ah! [ Chuckles ]
What's going on?
Jerry, you're aware I once ran a brothel in London before coming to America.
Yes. Why?
I run one in Boston...
and New York and several other large cities.
- You do? - It's mostly Internet based.
I rarely meet my employees unless they're extremely high earners.
Why are you telling me all this?
I've met Dana.
And it wasn't at a gym.
Many of my employees are in committed relationships.
And I don't mean to indict the legitimacy of yours with Dana.
I tell you this simply because, well--
Katie and I both feel you should know if you don't already.
Can you please go away now?
For what it's worth, I know Dana to be an honest and honorable person.
If she tells you she loves you, I suspect she loves you.
Please go away, both of you.
** [ Swing ]
[ Applause, Cheers ]
Oh, my God.
* How lucky can one guy be
* I kissed him and he kissed me *
* Like the fella once said
* Ain't that a kick in the head *
* The room was completely black *
* I hugged her She hugged me back *
* Like the sailor said, quote
* Ain't that a hole in the boat *
* Got sunshine enough to spread *
- Cigars? Scotch? - * And just like the fella said *
* Tell me quick
* Ain't love a kick
- Thank you. - * Tell me quick
[ Chattering, Laughing ] * Ain't love a kick
* In the head *
[ Beeping ]
We could've gone back to their place for one drink.
It's the night before the Supreme Court, and I'm tired.
It's always the night before something.
The something tomorrow is the highest Court, and a man's life is at stake.
- [ Groans ] You used to be fun. - Can you begin to appreciate the gravity of tomorrow's--
- Please. - A man is facing death.
- Well, we all gotta die at one point. - Shut up!
You said you wanted to be part of this case.
Well, be part of it, damn it! It's the Supreme Court!
It's not enough for you that we're out singing and drinking with the go-go girls!
And now you gotta go back to their--
[ Clicks Tongue ] Sorry.
I don't mean to snap at you.
I'm nervous, Denny.
I really didn't think I would be,
but I'm a little scared to death.
I'm sorry.
I've been thinking.
This kid's...
best chance--
You should do all the arguing.
It's enough that I'm in the room.
My legacy will be complete.
Denny-- I-I-I-I'm not ready to go toe-to-toe with Rehnquist.
Denny, Rehnquist is dead.
Even so.
You argue.
I'll flirt with Ginsburg from the table.
Right.
- You sure? - I am.
But, eh, you gotta do me two favors though.
First, I bet 50 grand that we'd get, uh, Clarence Thomas to speak.
The man hasn't spoken a single word in 154 cases over two years.
Well, mention Anita Hill.
Huh! The porn collection. Bait him a little.
I'm not gonna bait a Supreme Court justice.
What's the other favor?
Kick ass!
It's our time in the Great Hall in front of the highest court in the country--
maybe the world.
Be respectful--
[ Whispers ] but kick ass.
Be Alan Shore for all you're worth.
And you know how they start these sessions?
This, uh, clerk, this really pretty woman,
she says, "Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes!"
It's like sex, Alan.
It's not "Oh, yes." It's "Oyez."
What? Oyez.
[ Woman ] Oyez. Oyez. Oyez.
All persons having business before the honorable,
the Supreme Court of the United States, are admonished to draw near...
and give their attention, for the Court is now sitting.
God save the United States and this honorable Court.
I had no idea they sat so close.
We're here, Alan. We're really here.
Look at us in the Supreme Court of the United States.
[ Gasping ] I love you, Alan. I love you too, Denny.
[ Clears Throat ]
This morning we will hear arguments in Serra versus the State of Louisiana.
Mr. Lazarus.
Mr. Chief Justice.
How do you distinguish this case from Coker...
where we barred the death penalty for non-homicide rape?
Well, first, Mr. Chief Justice, Coker was linked to the rape of adult women.
- Dull. Where's the remote? - Shh.
And second, that ruling relied on the evidence of a national trend...
against execution for non-homicide cases.
Today, five states make child rape a capital offense.
We also have the death penalty...
for air piracy and treason, also non-homicide offenses.
When a child is raped,
the impact is beyond horrible, beyond repair.
And the fact that the raped child doesn't die...
doesn't make it any less heinous,
any less unconscionable, any less unspeakable.
And-- [ Farts ]
[ Knocking ] Hey, Jerry. Ready for lunch?
What's wrong?
Lorraine informs me you work as an escort at her service.
Is that true, Dana?
- Yes. - [ Exhales ]
Please leave.
Could I have an opportunity to explain?
I don't think there's an explanation you could offer I would find satisfactory.
Dana, please leave. Jerry--
I kept part of my life a lie.
When I tell you I love you...
that isn't a lie.
What we had the other night--
That was not a lie.
The punishment is not disproportionate.
It reflects the current national consensus.
This Court has been criticized recently for not standing up for the little guy.
Well, I'm standing here today asking you to stick up...
for an eight-year-old girl who was raped by the defendant.
Okay, Mr. Lazarus, the red light indicates your time is up.
Thank you, Mr. Chief Justice.
This is it.
I think I'd rather be fishing. Go get 'em.
May it please the Court, Mr. Chief Justice.
Currently there are 3,300 people on death row in this country.
My client is one of only two who did not commit murder.
You here to give us a box score?
I'd like to provide a context, Your Honor.
In Louisiana, 180 men have been prosecuted for child rape...
since this law went into effect in 1995.
Leonard Serra is the only one facing death.
Look, counsel, Louisiana law permits death for child rape.
-And I would respectfully submit that law is unconstitutional. -Based on what?
Based on this Court's finding in Coker that the death penalty--
That spoke to the rape of an adult, not a child.
Maybe you need to read it again.
And even if I were to concede your point, which I don't,
there's a national consensus now in favor of authorizing...
the death penalty for non-homicide rape.
Why? Because Louisiana passed a barbaric law,
joining the ranks of Saudi Arabia, Uganda, China--
- And other states in this country who-- - Five.
Five states. That's hardly a consensus.
And none of those other states authorize death for first-time offenders as Louisiana does.
And it should also be noted in your reliance on a national consensus,
you look to trends in legislation,
laws passed by politicians mostly around election time...
when they're desperate to appear tough on crime.
The people who care the most about the welfare of children--
doctors and social workers, the people who actually treat abused kids--
have filed amicus briefs asking you to strike down this law.
Because they know the death penalty, in fact, does not protect kids at all.
But rather, it makes it less likely the children, even if they've been abused,
will report the crime, especially if a family member is involved.
No kid wants to be responsible for a relative being executed.
And children often get it wrong.
They are uniquely prone to suggestibility and coercion.
Not that the police would ever be guilty of that, of course.
But we already have an epidemic of wrongful convictions in this country,
as many as 15,000 a year, too many of them ending up on death row.
And child rape prosecutions are especially unreliable.
And now we want to add the death penalty to make these mistakes irrevocable?
Whatever one's feelings are on capital punishment--
and I realize with this Court, one seems to be for it--
you simply cannot ignore the fact that we often screw it up.
We convict the innocent, we botch executions,
which is why many states have declared a moratorium on capital punishment.
That's your true national consensus.
And yet, here comes Louisiana...
seeking to expand the death penalty to non-homicide cases.
And this is my favorite part-- to kill the mentally disabled. Are we serious?
This defendant was never officially pronounced disabled.
But he is just the same, Your Honor. He has an I.Q. of 70.
They're gonna kill him because there was no official pronouncement?
The way this goes, counsel, is we work off a record which you are not free to amend.
But by "record," you simply mean the conviction.
A reading of the entire record shows that he denies his guilt and always has,
he has no prior arrests, that the victim never even made the accusation...
until a full 20 months after the alleged crime.
- There was no D.N.A.-- - Factual innocence is not something you get to argue.
Well, how silly is that? You're deciding whether or not to kill someone,
and his possible innocence is irrelevant?
Mr. Shore, I don't like your demeanor, your tone.
And I would remind you of where you are.
I know exactly where I am, Mr. Chief Justice.
I'm in the Supreme Court of the United States.
- And let me tell you. You folks aren't as hot as all get-out. - Dear God.
Let's consider your respective Senate confirmations. You all testified under oath...
that you never actually considered how you would rule on abortion.
You must be kidding me. Never gave it a thought! No perjury there?
Justice Scalia, you went duck hunting with Vice President Cheney...
while he was a named defendant in a case before this Court.
Congratulations on not getting shot, by the way.
But you didn't exactly avoid the appearance of impropriety there.
Justice Alito, you were caught hearing a case involving a company...
you'd invested hundreds of thousands of dollars in.
Huh. No conflict of interest there? You also don't recuse yourself in terrorism cases,
even though your best friend is Michael Chertoff, head of Homeland Security.
Seems to me the Supreme Court of the United States should be made of sterner stuff. Am I right?
Justice Thomas, at least put down the magazine. Hey!
- [ Gasps ] - I really don't think you mean to come after us, counsel.
Oh, but I do. In your short term as chief justice, this Court, with your narrow majority,
has turned back the clock on civil rights, school segregation,
equal protection, free speech, abortion, campaign finance.
You've been overtly and shamelessly pro-business,
making it impossible for some plaintiffs to so much as sue corporations,
especially big oil and big tobacco.
Somebody's gotta go after you. ExxonMobil made over $40 billion in 2007.
40 billion. And yet 19 years after the Valdez oil spill,
plaintiffs are still waiting to be fully compensated.
Justice Scalia, you want to overturn the verdict altogether,
because it's not the company's fault that the ship's captain got drunk?
But he was a drunk, and they knew it. Perhaps not the best choice...
to pilot 53 million gallons of crude oil through an environmentally sensitive area.
You are getting so far off point.
My point is, who are you people? You've transformed this Court...
from being a governmental branch devoted to civil rights and liberties...
into a protector of discrimination, a guardian of government,
a slave to moneyed interest and big business.
And today, hallelujah, you seek to kill a mentally disabled man.
I'm curious, as a group, how many executions have you all actually witnessed?
I'm sorry. That's--
That's unfair.
I've seen five.
And it is the most inhumane,
cruel and unusual hypocrisy...
of a system that promises to be just.
I'll ask you to leave your personal politics out of this.
And I'd ask you to do exactly the same!
The Supreme Court was intended to be free and unadulterated by politics.
It is now dominated by it. You're handpicked by presidents with ideological agendas,
and of the two dozen 5-4 decisions in your 2006-2007 term,
19 broke straight across ideological lines.
That's politics.
And while you claim to be against judicial activism, you rewrote--
Check that. Invented new law to decide a presidential election, for God's sake.
If that's the way it's gonna be, then at least have the decency to put your names on ballots...
like the rest of the politicians, so that we, the people, get a voice!
Mr. Shore! You have said quite enough.
Now, you might consider using what little time you have remaining...
to represent your client instead of your own left-wing agenda.
Yes.
[ Clicks Tongue ] I absolutely cannot...
stand up here and ask anybody...
to excuse the rape of a child.
If it were my child, I'd want to shoot the son of a bitch in front of the courthouse.
But the more evolved response would be to take into account all the circumstances.
And to deliberate and decide whether Leonard Serra truly represents...
the worst of the worst of humanity, for whom we reserve the death penalty.
I've been... advised by my advisers not to talk about Leonard.
But I am going to talk about him, because Leonard Serra is not in any way the worst.
Leonard is not a son of a bitch. Emotionally, intellectually he is a child.
Is this really the person to make an example of?
Of all the men Louisiana has prosecuted for child rape since the passage of this law,
only Leonard has been sentenced to death.
Does it strike any of you as fair that the one guy singled out...
is the one with an I.Q. of 70, really?
Leonard Serra is black.
In Louisiana, historically, it's been blacks...
that have been executed for rape in non-homicide cases.
In the last hundred years, Louisiana has executed 29 men for rape. All were black.
On the face of this building it reads, "Equal justice under law."
I would beg you to honor that.
And finally, I'd like to say, despite my tone,
I have always been, and still am in--
[ Sighs ] enormous awe of this institution.
Elected officials represent the will of the American people.
But the Supreme Court has always reflected our soul...
and our... conscience--
my conscience.
And I hope yours simply cannot reconcile...
executing a mentally disabled man,
whether he was officially pronounced as such or not.
We have to be better than that,
even if Louisiana isn't.
[ Clicks Tongue ] You know, on the...
back of this building is that magnificent sculpture,
part of which symbolizes...
the concept of...
justice tempered by mercy.
If mercy truly lives within these walls,
within your hearts as justices, as people,
you cannot cause this man to be injected with chemicals...
for the purpose of killing him...
for a crime it's very possible he did not commit.
He asked me to tell you that-- that he did not commit it.
He felt it was important that you... know that.
He also asked me to tell you...
he doesn't want to die.
[ Vehicle Tires Squeal ]
How long before they rule? Do we have any idea?
Could be weeks, even months. Do I have any chance?
Well-- I mean, with you.
Let's just say Lenny Serra's chances would be better than yours.
Tease.
Well, this is good-bye then. Yes. Thank you.
Listen, I'm not a very sentimental person--
If you're gonna say anything mushy, direct it at me. I'll direct it at him.
My father tried to discourage me from the practice of law,
suggesting that the profession was anything but noble.
Listening to you today--
Well, good-bye, Alan, and thank you.
- Carl. - Audrey.
[ Denny ] Just to clarify, since you did all the arguing, should we lose,
this does not count on my record. Of course not, Denny.
I don't plan to end up 18-and-1, if you get my drift.
Alan.
Uh, one second?
For the record,
though some lawyers would've found your little performance heroic today, and say,
"Wow, you really are something,"
be aware it's not the policy of Crane, Poole & Schmidt...
to attack, dismiss, disrespect the Supreme Court of the United States.
And should you ever have opportunity to revisit the Great Hall,
you will conduct yourself in a manner more commensurate...
with the values and policies of this firm.
Notwithstanding, there are those who might think...
you really are something.
Got it?
Got it.
- Hey, Jerry. - Hey.
- Talk to Dana? - I did.
We're done-- fini, terminare, kaputski.
I'm sorry to hear that, even though I'm sure it has to--
What is that?
That's Patty. We've reconnected.
You've r-reconnected with a doll?
Yes.
Jerry-- [ Clears Throat ]
having a relationship with an inanimate friend...
suggests certain willingness on your part...
to forsake conventional expectations.
Might such an open-mindedness...
occasion you to consider a relationship with Dana if you two really love each other?
Go out with a call girl? Do I look that desperate?
You don't seem at all desperate enough to date a doll.
I'm not saying it wasn't right to end things with Dana.
But I am saying...
love is difficult to find.
It's very... difficult.
Perhaps you might take a day or two...
before declaring it fini, terminare and especially kaputski.
There's a certain finality to ending things in Polish.
I'm not gonna date a call girl, okay?
[ Clicks Tongue ] Okay.
- Well, good night then. - Good night.
I thought Scalia would rupture a blood vessel.
Did you see Alito?
He hasn't been so offended since they let blacks and girls into Princeton.
I didn't really mean to go on the attack.
I just--
Did I at least make sense?
Eh, not to me. [ Sighs ]
But I'll tell you this. I admire you.
To march into the Supreme Court...
and fight for a principle you believe in.
Wow.
How many people have such a chance and actually seize it?
You made me proud.
My favorite part was when you got Clarence Thomas to talk. [ Chuckles ]
Wow! [ Chuckles ]
Huh. We got to see the White House.
Up close-- as close as Ginsburg's mole.
Did you see her making eyes at me?
She was hot for me. What woman isn't?
It's my curse.
Huh! You know, I was thinking about what you said...
about mercy.
I sometimes wonder whether that'll be part of my legacy.
I mean, will someone stand up at my funeral and say,
"That man had mercy in his heart"?
I will.
[ Sighs ] I hope they don't kill that kid.
I'm for capital punishment.
But I hope they don't kill him.
Yeah.
I read... somewhere,
"Make time to travel with a loved one...
to a special place."
You and I? First, Nimmo Bay.
[ Whispers ] And now the Supreme Court.
Where to next?
I'll think of someplace.
'Cause we're not done, Alan.
No, we're not.
Not even close.
- Maybe we can go to Wednesdays. - Next week?
Why not?
[ Denny ] Wednesdays. I like it.
- [ Grunts ] - [ Woman ] You stinker!
Captioned by Captions, Inc.