[calm music]
[upbeat music]
I have lied to those who trusted me.
I've stolen from those who've harbored me,
broken the hearts of those who love me.
My entire existence has been a monument to mendacity.
All in the name of the most insignificant personal gains.
Gains that have gotten me here.
Hollow, alone,
desperate, standing weak need
and weak willed amongst the human detritus
that I have left in the wake
of this hurricane of narcissism.
Does this sound familiar?
But how did we get here?
How did we get here?
Is this who we are? Who we've always been?
We all began as blank slates, didn't we?
Wide-eyed, curious seekers of love and light,
and the mother's nourishing [indistinct]
We were all pure once, we possessed wonder once,
we possessed truth once,
and then somehow we became this.
We evolved into these beings,
living lives that we deserve to live, didn't we?
Lives that we deserve to live.
But this thought is a poisoned well, of course.
This is not our final form.
How could it be?
We are nothing, if not beings of growth
from pupa to papillon.
We are ceaselessly transforming.
We are ceaselessly metamorphasing.
Because we are not the end of evolution.
We are not the end of evolution.
We are evolution. The end.
[upbeat music]
Wait here.
Ryan.
Ryan, it's me. It's Trevor.
Come on buddy.
You gotta talk to me. I'll make a deal with you.
If you come out from underneath there
and talk to me for a bit.
We'll go and do something cool
like the batting cages or something.
Yeah? Go-karts? But you gotta come out and talk to me.
[Ryan] Why the fuck are you here?
He's alive. He's alive.
[Ryan] Why are you here?
Because mom called and asked me to come.
I asked him to come, honey.
She was concerned.
I was concerned, honey, I-
[Ryan] Jesus Christ. I'm fine.
I'm fine, you can go now. Please.
I can't do that.
[Ryan] You can do that.
I can't do that. And I'll tell you why.
Because I am the man of the family, Ry,
and being the man comes great responsibility.
And coming back to Middletown to check on this mess
is just one of the many grim tasks
that I have to handle in the name of our father.
I was concerned, honey.
[Ryan] Yeah, mom, I know. It's okay.
He says he's okay.
Ask him if he wants some soup.
You want some soup?
[Ryan] What? No.
He says no, ma.
Ask him again.
Tell him it's no trouble and I think he should eat.
She says, it's no-
[Ryan] I can fuckin' hear her.
Language.
[Ryan] Tell her I said thanks, but no.
He said, sure, and thank you.
Okay, I'll fix him right up.
[Ryan] You are the second worst thing
that ever happened to me.
Well, technically you kinda happened to me, so.
So how long is this whole thing gonna last?
[Ryan] What whole thing?
This, this whole thing.
This is the reason we have bugs.
[Ryan] Six days.
That's more specific a number than I was expecting,
but okay.
What am I looking at?
Kyle's wedding invitation.
She invited mom, you know, and a plus one.
Yeah, that's fucked up.
She's getting married.
She's getting remarried on Saturday.
Bummer.
I'm gonna kill myself on Sunday.
I need you to do me a favor,
one of those grim man of the family tasks.
Sure.
I need you to look after mom when I'm gone.
Tommy Lee. Tommy Lee.
Let's look at Tommy Lee.
Born with an inherit sense of rhythm and coordination,
good looks, and a fucking fantastic pallet of hair.
Dude drops outta high school to form Motley Crue.
And then for the next 30 years is swimming in booze,
drugs, and top shelf pussy
from all four corners of the earth.
One of those said top shelves,
none other than Pamela Denise Anderson
during the inarguable apex of hotness.
Oh, and as if the jackpot in this cosmic lottery
needed to be sweetened anymore.
Well, we find out that our boy T-bone,
he's swinging an 11 inch hammer.
You weren't listening.
A hammer, Ry, a fucking hammer.
A hammer.
My point is,
if he had any one of those things going for him,
he'd have a noteworthy life.
But to have all of 'em, to have all of them, Ry.
Do you know what that is?
Sloppy brushstrokes of a careless and unjust creator.
No, you God-less heathen, that is absolute proof
that reincarnation is absolutely real, my friend.
Uh-huh.
Dude, Tommy Lee had to save an orphanage full of kids
from a blazing inferno and died a hero.
It's the only reasonable explanation.
Clearly.
And if it's the only reasonable explanation,
that means that this life was his just reward.
That means that if there's even
an ounce of plausibility to my theory,
you probably shouldn't kill yourself.
Because the same force that gave Tommy
Miss Anderson's sun kiss,
supple lady treasures on a deck of that pontoon boat
and some undisclosed Caribbean paradise.
Well, they will undoubtedly make you one of those
abominable dick face fish on your next go around,
though it probably would mean
finally the end of this miserable bloodline of ours.
Literally, the only thing
that's given me comfort in months,
the fact that I never passed on my jeans.
That was what they call gallows humor, Ry.
It's weird you're this close to me with a hard on.
It's not hard, but I'm definitely thicker than I was
when I first got here.
I came here to help you.
You came here 'cause mom knows I'm gonna kill myself.
Well, yes.
And I hear Jamie Mattel is freshly divorced
and back in town.
An I kinda wanna see where that situation's at,
but I mostly came here to help you,
and I know how to do that.
No.
Yes.
You see, I've been doing these self-improvement classes
back home for a year or so now.
[Ryan] I don't know what that means.
Well, it's this group of people.
We all follow the system of self-improvement,
and we get together once a week to talk about it
and eat donuts.
You know, it's called Alcoholics Anonymous for a reason,
right? - It's not AA.
It sounds like AA.
It's not AA.
Clearly you're not in a good place and I wasn't either.
I mean, I was desperate too.
I wasn't returned to my cum crusted twin bed
at my mother's house and run the clock out
until my inevitable failed suicide attempt desperate.
But I was desperate too, until I started this group.
And I can honestly say that it has made a difference.
Look, idiot, you are my brother and I do love you.
And plus, and check me if I'm wrong,
you did just casually mention
that you're actively planning your suicide, so.
I'll go.
Good.
If you promise to do what I asked.
What'd you ask me?
[All] Dear me, I have not always been great.
I will not always be great,
but I recognize these things is what makes me great.
I give me a remission to be me today, tomorrow,
and for the rest of my life.
Love me.
Okay.
What a truly moving profession of me.
Thank you, all of you for that gift.
Oh, and thank you, Daniel for this week's refreshments.
[All] Thank you, Daniel.
And folks, it appears
we have a couple new members of the tribe
joining us this evening.
Actually, I am not new to the fellowship.
I go to the Scranton chapter.
Name's Trevor,
Oh, welcome, Trevor from the Scranton Chapter.
[All] Welcome, Trevor from the Scranton Chapter.
I hope that our refreshments are stacking up well
against what you have down there in the keystone state.
Yeah. Amazing. Amazing, amazing donuts.
Would you like to share your proclamation?
I would.
Well, this week I got called home to help my brother.
And not in a biblical sense, like literally.
And well, we're not really tight at all.
Our dad died when we were young.
And instead of growing up together, we kind of grew apart.
And I wasn't always there for him.
Actually I was never there for him.
And this week he's coming home
now that he's finalized his divorce
and our mother's worried that he's gonna hurt himself.
So even though I'm not into the whole caring thing,
I made a proclamation of me by coming home
and doing the best that I can
to be there for my brother in this trying time.
Stop looking at me, man.
Just go.
That was a beautiful proclamation.
Thank you, Trevor.
Thank you, Liam. Thank you group.
Geez, that's gonna be a pretty tough one to beat,
but why don't you give it a try anyway, new friend.
What's your story?
I'm his little brother.
Hello, Trevor's little brother.
I think I've decided to end my life six days from now.
Do you have a name? Trevor's little brother.
Ryan.
What do you know about the letter P, Ryan?
It's the 16th letter of the alphabet.
How did you answer that so quick?
It's very perceptive.
Yes, it is the 16th letter of the alphabet.
It's a letter full of promise, full of power,
full of possibility.
It's probably no coincidence that our program's founder,
the Honorable Dr. Richard Douglas has a pension for it.
In fact, that's probably why the letter is the pedestal
upon which our entire patented P3
self-actualization plan is based upon
starting with your profession to me,
all the way through your personal pivot pyramid.
Pyramid?
Well, you know, it's probably easier if I just show you.
[calm music]
See, these petty trespasses are the tiny transgressions
that open the door to this waking nightmare,
that is your life.
Errors and judgment.
The cheating at a game, the lying to a friend,
the stealing of a box of condoms
from Tony Kessler's corner store
because you've known that man since you were a child.
And just the thought of him knowing
what you were going to use them for. [sighs]
Sweaty backs, breathless,
powerful, thrusting.
Things that don't cause much collateral damage
in the grand scheme of our lives.
These are the things we do
that tell us that it's okay to make a bad choice.
Ultimately leading us to the profound.
Dr. Douglas likes to call these guys emotional hurricanes.
The decisions that you make
that leave a wake of utter devastation,
shoeless dead bodies strewn through city streets,
dogs nibbling at their decomposing toes, metaphorically.
And these profound misgivings lead us to today,
you and I, here and now,
and the things you do today
that are hurting the people close to you,
hurting the people who love you
and ultimately hurting yourself.
You atone, you repair these things
and you'll be rewarded in the future.
You'll be rewarded with the future. P3.
[All] P3.
Great pardon.
Progress propulsively, procure perspective.
Liam?
Yes. Ryan.
Would you say
you practiced that pitch pretty persistently?
Is it the alliteration where I'm losing you?
Possibly.
[calm music]
Look, self-help is simple.
It's by definition just helping yourself. Right?
Sure.
See what the problem is,
most people don't even recognize that there's a problem
until they wake up one morning
and don't recognize the person
staring back at them in the mirror.
But you are here, you know,
and you know that this isn't what you want your life
or death for that matter to be.
I think you can turn it around, Ryan. I know you can.
I know that we can.
Yeah. Okay.
What is it that you want?
Make your proclamation, make it.
I want my life back. I want my wife back.
And I think we can get you there, Ryan.
I think we can, but you need to be open to the process.
Okay.
Are you? Are you open to it?
Yes.
[insects chirping]
I'm just saying if you need me to float you the money,
I will.
Are you fucking with me?
No.
You think I'm gonna...
$600.
If you don't wanna invest in yourself, who will?
I just wanna go home, please.
[Trevor sighs]
Fine.
Hey, hey.
Hey, hold up a sec. Hey.
Hey.
Oh, here.
It's kind of a tradition
to give the refreshments to the new guy.
Thanks, man. But I'm good.
It's just, I'm supposed to give them to you
and then you're supposed to bring them next time.
I mean, not these same donuts, but you know, new ones.
Oh, okay.
He's not coming back.
Yeah.
Yeah. I get it.
Anyway, I'm supposed to give the refreshments
to the new guy, so.
Okay.
It's the money, right?
The reason you're not coming back is the money?
[Trevor] Yeah.
Look, I appreciate the program
that it helps some people,
but it's just not for me, you know.
I'm pretty set in what I gotta do.
Liam is an asshole.
I think most of these group leaders are assholes.
I mean, they mean well and shit,
but they get the whole thing wrong.
It's not complicated.
They make it so fucking complicated
with the whole pyramid thing.
My man, Dick Douglas just wants people to realize
the power to change their lives is inside of them.
Redemption and healing. That's it.
It's that simple.
Change your past to fix your present
and give yourself your future.
That's what the man says.
But that's what I'm talking about.
It sounds like hippie dippy whore shit, man.
Like, what does that even mean? How do I change my past?
How does anybody change their past?
I don't know, man. I only know how to change my past.
But if it's in here, you don't have to pay $600 to find it.
I hope you figure it out.
Oh no, I can't take that.
Take it. I know what it says.
Thanks, daddy.
Anyway, I'm supposed to give you all of the donuts.
[footsteps thumping]
[Automate Voice] To listen to your saved messages,
press one.
First saved message. Received August 18th, 2009.
[Kyle] Ryan. Hey, it's Kyle.
Sorry it's so loud in here.
So I know we like literally just saw each other,
but I just wanted to say, had a lot of fun
and I'm glad we met.
Guys, can you shut up!
Sorry, my friends are so, you know...
Anyway, I might be a little drunk, but-
[Automated Voice] End of safe messages.
Your evolution is at hand.
The infinite is calling you. Do you hear it?
Sh!
Can you hear it?
Are you frightened?
Are you overwhelmed
with the possibilities of your unrealized purpose?
So honey, what do you think you wanna do?
We have arrived.
The journey of your rebirth begins
with one step and two words.
Hi. Are you sure this is a great idea?
This is a great idea.
Yes, mom, we're good.
Are you sure you don't want some sandwiches for the trip?
No, we're fine. We gotta get on the road.
Yes, please.
Good. Okay. Just...
It'll just take a minute. Just hang on.
Just...
[car throttling]
This might be a dumb idea.
I don't like your energy.
You don't like my energy?
Yeah, your energy.
Come traveler, find your story.
Find yourself. Go forward.
Fearlessly inspired, loved. Nope.
Let's go home.
We're not going home. We're doing this.
Trav, for real. This is dumb.
This book is dumb.
This idea is dumb and I don't wanna do this.
Where has doing what you wanna do
gotten you the past few months?
Living back home, lying in your old bedroom,
which by the way, still smells like a sperm bank.
We're changing shit up, bro.
Trev-
We're doing this because you don't want to.
Trev, for real, I'm not fucking around.
I wanna go home.
Okay. Okay.
Thank you.
Jesus.
[car whooshing]
Theorizing that one could time travel
within his own lifetime.
Dr. Sam Beckett, steppin' to the quantum accelerator end.
I don't see what the connect between quantum leap and-
And?
No.
And-
[Both] Vanished.
Vanished. That's right, Ry, vanished.
He vanished.
And that's what you're doing here.
You're in the quantum accelerator
and you're vanishing, bro.
Yep. We're going back into your past
and we're gonna put right what was once wrong,
and I'll be right here with you.
I'll be your Al Calavicci.
We're gonna fix this shit
and we're gonna leap you back home to a whole new life, Ry.
Fuck.
Come on man. This can work.
[indistinct] that show.
I know you do. I know you do.
Shit.
[birds chirping] [shoes clacking]
[knocks on door]
[birds chirping]
[knocking on door]
[birds chirping]
[knocking on door]
[door latch clicks]
[birds chirping]
Well, who is she?
Excuse me?
Your mother. What's her name?
Rosemary.
Geez, I don't even remember a Rosemary.
What?
I used to drink quite a bit. A little kid.
I knew this day was coming. Just didn't know when.
If I can be honest with you,
I was kind of hoping for a daughter.
No offense.
Jesus, Pete. No, I used to work for you at Ferraris.
Oh, Yeah. What'd you say your name was?
Ryan. Ryan Nichols.
Nicky, you used to call me Nicky.
I was a cook.
All right.
So I owe you some money or something?
No, Pete, I came here to set some shit right.
What'd you say your name was?
Ryan.
Ryan. Should I be nervous right now?
No, just when I worked there, when I worked for you,
I did a lot of things I'm not too proud of.
It's been eaten at me, Pete, and I just wanna make amends.
Okay.
So look, I used to take free drinks
like pretty consistently.
Uh-huh.
Like all day, every day.
And once I made 11 sandwiches for the girl
to bring back to her sorority.
'Cause I thought, she implied...
I thought that if I hooked her up, she would...
And I would call my friends back home,
some nights long distance from the work phone.
Most week weeknights actually.
Okay.
And once I closed shop an hour and a half early
so I could have sex with my girlfriend
in the walk-in cooler.
None of this is upsetting to you on any level.
Look, Nick.
Nicky, like Nichols, like Ryan Nichols.
The bumping pink parts with the gal in the freezer thing.
Well, that's gross, son,
but I can't say it was uncommon in that place.
And the stealing, safe bet I didn't pay you much, right?
$2 below minimum wage.
Geez. Really?
Well, yeah.
So I always expected your kids to rob me blind.
So that's it.
Yeah, kid. We're square.
Huh.
You've been worried about that shit all these years.
Yeah. Yeah, I guess I have.
Well, I guess I can't say
I don't know what that feels like.
Tell me, did that sorority girl, she-
She did not.
Well, that's a bummer.
So you're just waiting for an illegitimate child.
Well, okay. Goodbye.
[door thuds]
[birds chirping]
[door latch clicks]
[car door thuds]
So?
All good.
Yeah?
He knew, he just didn't care.
Well, yeah. Why the fuck would he.
But you feel good?
I do. I really do.
I think I'm ready for number two.
Ah, I'm so glad you said that
because I have had to take a shit
for like the last two hours.
So if you don't mind, find a gas station or something.
I'd be way into that.
The list, number two on the list.
Oh yeah, yeah.
[footsteps thumping]
Fuck, I hope that wasn't poison ivy, man.
You got anything?
No.
Me neither. Nothing, like zero.
But you already knew that.
Really?
Really what?
You're gonna convince me,
you never looked this brought up.
So you're the guy.
You're the one fuckin' guy
that has never gotten hammered and Facebook stalked his ex.
Man, I love your work or lack thereof.
I can never have that kind of discipline,
but man, it is an honor to meet you.
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
Okay. All right. Settle down.
Settle down? Settle down?
No.
- No? - No!
You're the one who convinced me
to pull this train outta the station.
Get bought into this self-help bullshit plan.
And guess what? Guess what, Trevor?
What?
I bought in. I bought all the in.
Good.
Yeah, could be. But we can't stop now.
We can't get off the train now.
We're not getting off the train now. We are strapped.
We are strapped
into this dynamite packed steam engine of misery.
The fuse is lit and no one is getting off
until we put out this fucker into the station.
Okay.
No one.
Next stop,
I apologize to Cindy Perkins for ruining her life.
And then I get my life back.
Okay. This, you see,
this is the energy that I'm talking about.
All right. What's the plan?
I don't know.
Okay. Gotta think of something.
Why can't we reach out to one of our friends
and say we're looking for, we'll make some shit up.
We'll say you got terminal cancer
and you need a lung donor.
Terminal cancer.
That's what I'm talking about.
Thank you.
Now gimme a name of someone she might know.
Jesus. She had a cousin, I think.
Lived downstate. Yonkers, maybe?
Susie Herra.
Susie Harold.
Check Susie Herra.
Fuck.
Wait, what was that girl
that used to hang out with her?
Come on. You know, kind of looked like Mumm-Ra.
A lot of robes, scarves rah-rah for a couple Christmases.
Her grandmother?
That's it.
Come on. It's a big world out there.
I just need one name and I could start reaching out.
First name?
Last name?
Maybe both names?
Wait.
♪ When you barely can survive ♪
♪ Hustling rooms out on the midway ♪
Think of something else, man. I got this.
[calm music]
All set.
Fuck.
Well, right back at your, Ry.
[Ryan chuckles]
You didn't wait for me?
I didn't think you were coming. Do you want something?
Why wouldn't I be coming?
So how have you been?
So I get a message out of the blue
from a guy I haven't spoken to since the Bush administration
asking me to help him get in touch with an old girlfriend.
I think the better question here is,
how have you been?
You know, not fucking great.
What happened?
His ex-wife's getting married
or remarried or whatever.
He's gonna off himself after the wedding.
And you are?
I am Trevor.
Ryan's recently single brother.
Uh-huh.
I'm actually the one that reached out to you.
I kind of put this whole thing together.
Oh, look how proud you are.
It's a real Reader's Digest version of events.
It's pretty accurate, I guess.
Oh.
Yeah.
So where does Cindy Perkins fit into this whole thing?
I need to fix some of the wreckage of the past.
[Trevor] "Quantum Leap."
I'm sorry.
The TV show, "Quantum Leap."
Scott Bakula. Dean Stockwell.
Yeah. Yeah, sure. I know "Quantum Leap."
Huh.
So can you help me get in touch with her?
No.
Right, right.
Yeah. I'm sorry.
No. What the fuck do you mean, no?
That's it?
Man, first off, fuck you.
Okay, you don't have to raise your voice.
It's just, I haven't talked to her in a really long time.
But she used to send this Christmas card, like,
I don't know, eight or nine years ago,
real cutesy shit with her and her husband
sitting outside a maple tree
with her kid dressed up like an elf or some shit.
She has a kid?
Oh, that's right.
You both took that vow of celibacy when you broke up.
So this must be really hard for you to hear.
I am deeply sorry.
She sends you a Christmas card?
Yeah, well, that's what I thought.
Then I realized that she meant to send 'em to Nikki Williams
and used my address.
And she must have noticed since then
'cause, you know, she stopped sending them
a couple of years back.
But I still have the envelopes at home
with the return address.
You see, that's not healthy.
And there's a reasonable chance
that she still lives there.
So, you know,
we could go find out.
Like, just show up?
Yeah, sure. Why not?
And you wanna come with us?
Well, you remember things didn't exactly end well
between her and I when you guys broke up.
So I'm not exactly psyched to see her,
but my brother lives sort of near there
and I've been meaning to go meet my nieces
for the last 10 or 11 years or so.
So, you know, just drop me off in town and go do your thing.
You just need a ride?
Need? Need, huh? What is need?
No, I'm helping you, you're helping me.
We're just a couple of helpers.
Just like old times, right, Ry?
Sarah.
Sarah, Is it?
It is.
Remind me.
Is that with a A or an H?
Both actually.
Well, Sarah with a both, forgive me for saying this,
but this sounds suspect as a mutherfuck.
I mean, how do we know you're not gonna us over here?
And how would I do that? How would I fuck you over?
I don't know. I watch "Dateline."
You ever see that shit?
Usually starts with something like this
and it takes years to recover the bodies?
Do I need to tell you the shape they're in? Huh?
Huh, Ryan?
Not far from here.
We can stop at my place and go grab the address.
♪ The kind of man who will love me just the way I ♪
Come on. Take me with you.
It'll be fun. We can catch up.
Okay.
Yeah?
Yeah.
You're not gonna ditch me in some gas station
when I tell you her address?
Jesus, no.
Promise?
[Trevor sighs]
You people and your promises.
Promise.
Just to point out,
there's no legal binding agreement.
You're not beholden to anything, Ryan.
You two are related, huh?
What's that supposed to mean?
And what the fuck does that mean?
Well, I know that she's in Worcester.
Where?
Worcester.
What'd you say the first time?
Okay. Okay.
Well, according to Ziggy,
Worcester is seven hours from here.
Okay.
Your healing has called you to wander.
Look within and change yourself.
Shed your skin. Embrace your evolution.
This will be your moment of occlusion, if you let it.
Will you?
[car engine revving]
[Sarah] Okay, five minutes.
Take your time.
[car door thuds]
Hey.
[car engine revving]
Listen.
Soon as she falls asleep,
you gimme a little volume in that squawk box there.
I'll jump back there. Ruth threw her shit.
I'll see if she's cool.
You are a broken person.
Mm. I'll tell you what's not broken,
my bullshit detector and it's lighting up with this girl.
So are you gonna tell me the history with you two or what?
No.
What the fuck did you do to this girl?
[calm music]
It seems like an awful lot of trouble to go through
to get back at an ex-boyfriend.
It wasn't my boyfriend.
We were never together.
Mm-hmm.
Officially like in a relationship.
Do you have any idea how many guys
I wasn't officially in a relationship with
that I let get all up in this in college?
Lots. It was lots of guys.
It was different.
It's always different.
No, it just wasn't like that.
[Becca] Okay.
Idiot. It's always like that.
What'd you do?
What did you do?
I fucked up.
And I never thought I'd get a chance
to make him feel as shitty as he made me feel.
Thought I'd have to just chalk it up to a life lesson,
you know?
And then he just got in touch.
And now?
Now I get to set some shit right from my past.
[Becca] What are you gonna do?
Well, I'm gonna get him to Cindy Perkins house,
and right before he opens his stupid little mouth
to pour his dumb little heart out,
I'm gonna tell her that I miscarried his baby.
The night that it happened-
I proposed to Cindy.
Yeah.
Oh, this chick is gonna kill us both.
That is some cling on shit.
Yep.
It was a while back, man.
I'm sure she's over it.
Yeah.
People move on.
Maybe this is a bad idea.
Seriously, I'd be surprised if she even remembers it.
You know the one thing I don't understand?
What?
Kyle, Cindy Perkins, this girl.
Yeah.
You know you are way not good looking enough
to be pulling this kind of trim.
You just, you need to be pulling your weight.
Thank you. I'll remember that.
[door latch clicks]
All set?
[Sarah] All set.
Do you have any firearms,
vegetables or fruits to declare?
[Sarah] My genius?
Dude, I'm shot you're driving.
Yes. Yes.
Listen, man, if you're gonna be my copilot,
you can't fall asleep, all right?
You think this is my first road trip?
[door latch clicks]
[upbeat music]
♪ Switch it up now ♪
♪ Shake it like ♪
♪ Shake shake shake shake shake shake shake ♪
♪ Shake it like ♪
♪ Shake shake shake shake shake shake shake ♪
♪ Shake it like ♪
♪ Shake shake shake shake shake shake shake ♪
♪ I Like it when you moving your body ♪
You don't have to sit all the way back there
if you don't want to.
I can pull over if you wanna switch spots with Ryan.
You can come up here and keep me company.
I'm fine.
Mm-hmm.
♪ Bump it, bump it up up up ♪
♪ Mix it up and everybody in the club ♪
Can I put some music on or something?
I don't care.
You know what I've been getting into lately?
I don't care.
Genuwine.
You see, most people don't know anything past "My Pony"
but his second album-
Stay awake.
"100% Genuwine."
"100% Genuwine" was his second album.
It's criminally underrated.
[upbeat music]
♪ Switch it up now ♪
[door latch clicks]
Wakey, wakey. Hands off snakey.
You're just the worst person.
What time is it? How long was I out?
Couple of hours.
What? Where are we?
Somewhere between where we started and where we're going.
Just get up.
Why are we here?
Well, the lines on the highway were making me tired.
So then I got off.
And then the lines on the non-high were making me tired.
I get it. I'm good.
Give me the keys
Too late. Get up.
I got a room.
What?
Room Five. Two beds, baller shit.
I'm sorry.
Don't be sorry for me.
I'm not the one with the expiration date.
[car door thuds]
Bewildering disappointment comes with the territory.
That is Trevor.
Yeah. What happened to that guy?
When we were little, like four and six,
mom took us to this super low rent dirt circus
that came to our town.
I got foggy memories of the whole thing.
But I remember ducks being one of the main attractions.
Ducks? Ducks like-
Like ducks waterfowl.
- Cool. - Yeah.
They advertised a tiger show into the big top.
But the tigers just turned out to be these couple of carnies
and these scuzzed out mascot type costumes
getting whipped by a sexual devient
in a leather daddy or ringmaster suit.
It's a fucking David Lynch movie.
So Trev asked for some cotton candy
and because it's the eighties, mom just gives him some cash.
Tells him to hurry on back.
Yeah, it was the golden age of pedophilia?
So after I don't know a while, he's still not back.
We go to look for him,
he's not in the filthy ass food trailer.
He didn't go for a second spin
on the tetanus factory teacups.
He's nowhere.
Mom is just about to lose her shit when we check the car.
And there he is in the backseat
eating cotton candy like it's no big deal.
Thank God.
His pants, his shoes,
his socks completely soaked in piss.
Oh, he peed himself.
He peed the entire lower half of his body.
Now, Mom is this weird combination of relieved and furious.
She's vacillating between screaming at him and hugging him.
But Trevor isn't saying anything or blinking.
He's just eating cotton candy
and staring into the distance with a thousand yard stare
of a damaged Vietnam veteran.
That's weird.
And it doesn't stop being weird.
In the days that follow, Trev keeps acting strange.
Strange how?
Strange like he refuses to eat anything
except peanuts and cotton candy and funnel cake.
Strange like he keeps pissing his pants.
So something's up.
Right.
Mom notices this strange behavior and is concerned.
And again, because it's the eighties,
she sends him to regression therapy.
Isn't that like hypnosis,
It is hypnosis.
They put him under, they take him back to that day
between the time he left us and we found him.
And what he remembers is, well, he's walking down the midway
on the way to the food trailer
and this clown whistles at him
from this tent that sells braided leather wallets
and shit like that.
Get the fuck outta here.
The clown leads him behind a row of Carney RVs
just out of the hustle and bustle of the midway,
just outta earshot,
instructs him to sit in this broken down lawn chair.
Then the clown hands him two bags of cotton candy.
Then he calls over one of the guys in the tiger costume.
The fuck outta here.
The guy in the tiger costume smoking a hand held cigarette
stands behind Trevor.
Starts massaging his shoulders.
Dude.
The clown stands in front of Trevor,
instructs him to eat the cotton candy while he watches.
When he's finished, he's handed two more bags,
then two more, then two more.
He's just watching him eat?
Yeah. And he's making balloon animals.
Like poodles and shit?
No. Like balloon animals.
Oh. Oh, no.
Now Trevor doesn't remember seeing anything specific,
but the therapist is pretty sure that-
That a clown jerked off on your big brother?
While being massaged by a submissive sex tiger
and force fed gotten candy. Yeah.
Now, is this traumatic experience responsible
for Trevor's personality quirks?
Possibly. But I'm not a therapist.
I do know mama's never the same after that though.
[door latch clicks]
Tap water tastes like dog diarrhea.
I'm just saying I've never taken Route 20
across the state, have you?
No.
[Trevor] You see, that's all I'm saying.
I just want an adventure. I wish you'd stop yelling at me.
So what's wrong with you?
[Automated Voice] To listen to your saved messages,
press one.
First saved message. Received August 18th.
Excuse me?
What's wrong with you? I mean, no ring.
No call home to your husband or wife.
I'm not judging, to check in.
Awful quick to jump in a car
with two guys that are practically strangers to you.
And that doesn't look like a bosom of a woman
that's nursed to any children.
So what kind of issues are we talking about here?
Hey. And don't be offended, man.
I like crazy broads like, call the cops crazy. So.
[seat belt clicks]
Sorry to invade your personal space,
but I have to get in nice tight
despite how physically repulsive it is
for me to be this close to you.
To make sure that what I'm about to say
comes across as clear as possible.
Okay.
My age, my relationship status, my sexual orientation,
my favorite fucking color are none of your business.
I am not here to make friends with you.
I am not here to succumb to your wit.
I am not under any circumstances
going to be charmed into fucking you ever.
I am a passenger on this trip
whom you will henceforth treat like your Uber fair.
And if I hear you mutter my name
or catch you so much as sneaking a glance at me
in the rear view mirror,
I will dig out the 11 inch hunting knife
that I have in my bag,
and I will sink it right through this fucking seat
and into your rib cage so help me God.
Do we understand each other?
We do.
Capital.
[Kyle] Okay. Hi, this is Kyle from tonight.
Okay, bye.
[Automate Voice] To save, press pound.
[keypad clicks]
End of save messages.
Shit, can you plug me in?
I think I should call her.
Cindy?
Kyle.
You should not.
Wait. Who's Kyle?
His ex.
Wait.
Girl, Kyle.
Ooh, fancy.
I think I should call her.
Look man, I don't know shit about your situation here,
but you really wanna do that?
Listen, before you do anything stupid,
just remember I am driving this car.
Pull over, Trevor.
No.
Pull over, Trevor!
I can't do that.
Boys, let's calm down.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
A lot.
Why would you do that?
You needed me to.
No, no I didn't.
You were about to make a huge mistake
that will shut this thing down.
I was about to make a phone call.
Yeah. Yeah.
And there was zero chance
that phone call was gonna go the way you wanted it to.
Then what?
If it was anything short of a Hugh Grant movie,
you would've lost your mind, Ryan.
And you would've gone down a spiral not to be pulled out of.
And we'd be on our way back home right now.
It's just, you got a plan here.
Fucking phone was $1,100.
And I can't pay for that, but I am sorry.
[car whooshing]
You guys feel that?
Feel what?
Seriously, man.
Does it feel like the car is riding weird?
I don't feel anything.
All right. Hey, it must be me then.
[insects chirping]
What do you see?
A bunch of fucking silver shit. I don't fuckin' know.
[Sarah] You guys have AAA?
It looks clean.
[Sarah] I have AAA. I could just-
You know, looking back, taking an auto tech class
would've been far more beneficial in the long run
than wood shop.
Does anyone know where we are?
Has anyone looked at a GPS since we got on the road?
My dad gets it for me every year for Christmas.
I keep telling him I haven't had a car in forever.
He shouldn't waste his money, but-
Although if I had the proper tools,
I could probably still make a gnarly fucking bong.
Ziggy. What about Ziggy? You can look this shit up.
Oh yeah. Yeah, sure. Let's see here.
My Elantra was just jerking uncontrollably
and completely shut down like a Barbara Dare orgasm.
Nope. Nothing, weird.
You gotta be a full-time asshole, man.
Can't take one day fuckin' day off?
Tow truck will be here in 20 minutes.
You guys do know that you can use these things
for more than just jerking off, right?
Yeah.
[calm music]
It's so bad.
Why do you do that?
Do what?
What time is it?
2:46.
I'm sure it'll be fine.
Whose car is this?
Me. It's my car.
You wanna come in here and say your final words to her?
Huh?
[car engine revving]
So I'll go check to see if there's any vacancies.
I'm going for a walk.
Cool if I come along?
[Ryan] Sure.
Where are you going?
Going for a walk.
A walk? Where?
[cars whooshing]
So what do you wanna do?
I got a plan.
Oh, okay. Good.
Great.
So you wanna share it with me or-
Share what?
The plan.
Find a place that sells booze, buy some
and then get problematically drunk.
Oh.
Figured the rest probably will just work itself out.
Got it.
You want some help?
Sure.
[door bell rings]
Closed? Closed?
What day is it?
Sunday?
Who closes the liquor store on a Sunday,
Pa fuckin' Ingalls.
The fuck.
[Ryan thuds on door]
All right. All right.
Hey bud. What's all the banging and cussing about?
I'm sorry about all that. I just...
Are you open?
Are you serious?
Incredibly.
You have a good day now.
[door bell rings]
Now look son, I don't want no trouble.
Oh no. Oh Jesus. No, I'm not robbing you.
Look man, it's been a rough couple of months
and I could really use a drink.
You know what I'm saying?
I understand. Gimme a second.
Thank you.
[door bell rings]
He thought I was gonna rob him?
Dude, I thought you were gonna rob him.
[door thuds]
Son, I want you to have this.
What is it?
It's got the address for St. Stevens.
If you head on down there now
you'll make it in time for service.
That's where I'm off to.
Stick around after it's done.
You head on down to the basement,
you'll be greeted by some nice folks who are sympathetic
to the demon that they're wrestling with.
And refreshments, of course.
God dammit.
Hey. Not here. Not on the Lord today.
Sir. Sir. Sir.
Hi. Hi
Young lady.
First of all, let me just apologize for him.
He's having a rough time.
I'm not having a rough time. He's having a rough time.
If you could just point us in the direction
of a gas station
or a convenience store that might be nearby.
I suspect you two will be getting sick pretty soon.
There's a new convenience store
about two miles down the road back the way you came.
Can't guarantee they'll sell you any alcohol,
but you're welcome to try.
Thank you.
Okay.
Son, I want you to know I'll be praying for you.
Okay.
Her too.
And all the fornicating and sinful
and lascivious acts you'll be getting into
later this evening.
Okay, thank you.
Did you know New York and Alabama were bordering states?
[birds chirping]
You're not worried about getting pinched out here.
What, for drinking?
Yeah.
No.
Besides, I'm pretty sure all 11 people in this town
are down at Saint Stephen's.
I can't remember last time I drank a 40.
No? Feel like you were missing out?
No. Just tastes like the vivid memory
of a dry, forceful fingering.
Mine too.
Hey, cough syrup's a nice touch.
Oh, you know, wouldn't give you a shot glass
if you weren't supposed to drink it.
And now this feels like problem drinking.
So you're on a mission, huh?
We are on a mission.
We were on a mission until, you know, very recently.
Right. Right.
I tell you, we started this whole thing in Oswego.
Speaking of dry awkward fingering.
[Ryan chuckles]
Anything change up there?
By all accounts just the seasons.
Yeah.
You remember the sub shop?
You mean the sub shop of the infamous walk-in?
Yeah.
So I saw old Pete yesterday.
Old Pete?
Pete Mars, the guy who used to own it.
Oh, dirty Pete with the nicotine stain mustache.
That's him.
He has a last name?
Peter Mars. Yeah.
Huh. He's still alive, huh?
He is.
And still waiting for an illegitimate child
to resurface from what I gather.
Not surprised.
Why?
Oh, I remember rumors of him just wrecking bush up there.
[Ryan laugh]
No.
Yes. I mean I never touched him,
but there were a few girls on my floor who did.
Who?
Oh no, I can't.
No, no. Fuck that.
What?
You don't get to do that.
[Sarah] What?
You don't get to tell me something salacious like that
and then turn it off, act all demure.
[Sarah chuckles]
You remember Jill?
I remember a few Jills.
Field hockey bisexual exhibitionist.
Get the outta here.
[Sarah chuckles]
Confirmed.
Smoke show Jill and-
Dirty Pete. Yes.
Are we talking about the same person here?
Jesus.
I can't believe you didn't know about that.
I can't believe I didn't know about that.
[birds chirping]
So where did you run into him?
I went to see him.
He was first on the list,
rather he was the petty point on the pivot pyramid
to be more accurate, I guess.
Right, the pyramid.
I flipped through your book on the ride.
The P3 program is the technical term.
And Cindy made the cut, huh?
She made what's known as the profound pivot point.
As in you profoundly fucked up.
I really haven't gotten that far in the book yet, so.
So thought about what you wanna say to her?
[Ryan speaks indistinctly]
You're being serious.
No, I've been having that conversation
on and off in the shower for 15 years or so.
Yeah?
Yeah.
How's it go?
Like word for word?
Yeah, word for word. Let's rehearse it.
I don't wanna do that.
Come on, you should.
You only get one shot, right?
You drive all this way,
you go through all of this shit.
You don't wanna sound like a moron, right? Met her twice.
That's so goofy,
Dude, you've come too far.
Like physically and metaphorically.
Hey, Cin-
No, not like this, sitting down. Come on.
Come on.
Okay, go.
Hey, Cin.
Alan! Alan!
Throw some Cheetos on the baby's tray
while I go get the [indistinct]
You better not be drinking out there.
Oh my word.
Well, hello, Ry.
Hey, Cin. [laughs]
All right. Christ.
Okay. Hey.
What can I do for you?
Well, the thing is...
Ryan, it is so good to see you, Ryan,
but it's kids' dinner time
and I gotta go check on the hot dogs stew before our buns.
Yeah, sure. I know.
Come on. Fuck it.
Fuck all that. How do you feel?
How do you feel right now?
I feel...
I feel like when you're young,
everything is so far in front of you.
You can't grasp how quickly time moves.
So the consequences of your actions, they're so distant,
they might as well not exist.
Look, I can't say
I know exactly what I was doing to you back then,
but I also can't say I knew what being sorry meant either.
Now I know, I know.
When we're young, we have all this shine, you know,
like our edges are still sharp.
But then time and circumstance and people
have this way of weakening those edges,
of dulling our shine.
I never wanted to be that person to you, but I was.
I know I'm probably just
a little unfortunate chapter in your past
that you've compartmentalized, tucked it away,
forgotten about, whatever.
I'm telling you, there has not been a day
in the past 15 years
that I have not thought about you and what I did to you.
And the guilt that I can't escape
for dulling the shine of someone I...
Of someone who meant more to me
that I could even comprehend at the time.
I'm sorry.
Hey, I'm so sorry for what I did to you.
[somber music]
How was that?
That was good. That was really fucking good.
[somber music]
[indistinct TV chatter] [somber music]
[door latch clicks]
Good morning road warriors.
Big day. Lots of miles ahead.
Let's get rolling.
Morning.
Hi.
Let's go.
[Trevor] Fuck you.
Why?
'Cause we're burning daylight here.
[Trevor] What time is it?
7:30.
[Trevor] In the morning?
Did you get your car back?
No. Fuck my car.
This is bigger than my car.
So we're gonna walk worcester.
I got a rental
From where?
I called the garage this morning.
Sketchy mechanic came to pick me up.
Turns out just outside of this small town
is an even bigger small town.
They got a ton of shit, among which is an enterprise.
It's 278 miles to get there on 20, take about seven hours.
Figure in time for sauce,
we should still be able to get there
before she could put the hot dogs' stew on for the kids.
Let's go.
That's what I'm talking about.
What are you one of those chicks
that wake up in the morning like Snow White?
We could take the throughway,
it would shave off four hours.
All right, I'm up, I'm up.
Fucking chipper Chester. [sighs]
[calm music]
♪ I don't know what I'm meant to feel anymore ♪
♪ I take it out on my girls and I smashed that door ♪
♪ I fucked around with my girls and I smashed that door ♪
♪ I fucked around with myself and I let you know ♪
♪ That if you're up there watching then start the show ♪
♪ Say it's over my friend ♪
♪ How long until the end ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm past the point where I can amend ♪
♪ I don't love myself but I can pretend ♪
♪ Repeated cycles in my head are bringing me down ♪
♪ And I've been itching at the back of my head the crown ♪
♪ Environment or inside my head? It's one of the two ♪
♪ 'Cause this head is controlling me and me is just you ♪
♪ Say it's over my friend ♪
♪ How long until the end ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm past the point where I can amend ♪
♪ I don't love myself but I can pretend ♪
[cheerful music]
♪ Say it's over my friend ♪
♪ How long until the end ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm past the point where I can amend ♪
♪ I don't love myself but I can pretend ♪
♪ I can pretend ♪
[calm music]
[car engine revving]
[car door latch clicks]
[car door thuds]
Are you sure you're good with this?
With what? Getting dropped off at a peeler
instead of going watching you make an asshole
out of yourself?
Yeah.
Yeah. I am way good with it.
Besides, I can probably still make the lunch buffet.
Oh.
Obviously you've never indulged in the culinary wonders
of a strip club salad bar.
Nope.
Well, there's no better time than the present.
I'm all set.
You don't know what you're missing?
Ooh, I do, money.
Ryan, you got a few bucks I can borrow for lunch.
Do you have a few more bucks I can borrow for a tugger?
A tugger?
Yes, a tugger. an old fashioned.
Henderson Cooper? Tugger Carlson?
The old Harry and Hendersons.
[Sarah] Wow. 40 bucks, huh?
Hmm. Anyway, usually two for one this time of day.
Of course, if you prefer I could always shop locally.
Drive away.
Have fun.
How can I not?
[Ryan] Right.
Hey, listen, I've taken you as far as I can.
Your next leap, it's your leap home.
Go and finish this.
I will.
[car engine revving]
I'm proud of you.
Be careful.
Careful?
These are my people.
[car engine revving]
You experience pain?
Yes.
You have caused pain.
Yes.
You regret the pain that you have caused
and you understand that it is in tightly wrapped symbiosis
with the pain that you feel?
Yes.
You are a being of light and warmth, Jimmy Abrams.
You have operated in the system of hurt
for longer than the universe intended.
The spiritual circuitry of the great consciousness
has delivered you here to the steps of your mercy.
Open the door, bathe in its intense profundity,
acceptance for the damage caused,
humbleness to those affected,
gratefulness for this moment of intersection and go forward.
Fearless, inspired, loved.
[birds chirping]
So here we are.
Here we are.
Yeah.
So what's your instruction manual say the next step is?
Now, explore the ocean that is you
to traverse the channel that is intuition, learning
and actualization.
I think we're past the book. [sighs]
I just wanna look at the house for a minute. [sighs]
Hey, I really appreciate what you did for me,
you know, getting me here and shit.
Don't.
It's not like you aren't doing me a big favor too.
Yeah.
So you pretty well set
with what you're gonna say to her?
I think so.
Hey, look,
I don't know exactly what's gonna happen here,
but I need to...
Shit, it's just I...
This is so stupid.
It's difficult and weird and fucking confusing.
And I'm really good at...
Uh, shit.
I'm really good at...
Shit, completely-
Hey, you can't do that here.
There are children in this neighborhood.
Fuckin' kids.
[footsteps thumping]
[birds chirping]
[door latch clicks]
What the just happened?
[car door thuds]
Sarah?
[car door thuds]
Sarah?
- Don't. - Don't what?
I don't know what the fuck is happening.
I don't either, I just have to go.
Go where?
I don't know. I just have to go.
Let me take you to your brother's at least.
I don't have...
My brother doesn't live here.
I don't even have a fucking brother.
What?
I just gotta go, okay?
Just let me go.
I don't want to.
This is not happening. You are not here for me.
I don't know that anymore.
Don't, don't fuckin' do that.
Just fuckin' finish what you came here to do.
Sarah?
Hey, Cin.
Just give her that apology.
It's a really good one.
Ryan.
Good luck with everything.
Thanks for the ride.
Ryan.
Hey, Cin.
What are you doing here?
You know, 30 seconds ago
I would've had a much more straightforward answer for you.
You came here to apologize to me.
I got that from Sarah screaming it.
Yeah, that's right. I did.
Okay.
[birds chirping]
You know, it's kind of funny.
You come all the way here for me
and you're still just chasing her.
Do you wanna come in?
Thanks for the coffee.
Sure.
Seemed like the grownup thing to do.
You seem to be doing pretty well in that department.
So listen-
- No. - Huh?
No, don't, you don't have to say anything.
I came a long way.
So have I.
Yeah, but you don't-
I, what?
I turned out great, Ryan, and maybe I wouldn't have
if things had worked out between us, who knows?
I mean, I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be and so are you.
Yeah.
I wouldn't change any of this for a second,
but I'm getting the vibe that you might.
It's just sometimes I think this whole life
is some sort of clerical error.
You know, like somebody put me in the wrong mailbox
and I'm not supposed to be this person I turned out to be.
And whenever I try to trace
to where the whole thing changed course,
like switched tracks, it always comes back to us.
At least I thought it always came back to us.
But then...
Look, I did not come here
to curi sympathy from you for how my life turned out.
You know what I think?
That I'm a piece of shit.
Yes.
I deserve that.
Okay. A piece of shit's a little harsh.
No, it's fair. You know me better than most.
No, I don't.
An unformed version of me
knew an unformed version of you a long time ago.
Then why have I not been able to stop thinking about it?
You haven't?
You're telling me I've never crossed your mind
in all these years?
Generally speaking,
people don't forget about long-term boyfriends
who move out in the middle of the night with no warning.
I'd say I thought about you a couple of times
over the past few years, but I don't know, Ry,
it just, it shrinks.
I mean it has to, otherwise I would've never gotten over it.
If I hadn't let it shrink, I'd still be angry at you.
And I'm not that girl that you hurt back then.
That's not me, Ry. I'm not that girl anymore.
And that's not who you are either.
And while I appreciate you
coming all this way to apologize to me, I can't accept it
because it really served no purpose
other than to make you feel better about yourself.
Which, no offense, I'm not interested in at all.
None taken.
I mean, I can't absolve you
for treating me like shit in the past,
but I can give you permission to move forward if it helps.
It does.
That was a long time ago, Ryan.
You've been looking back long enough, don't you think?
When did you get so good at being a grownup?
[Aubrey] Mom, you here?
I'm out back, Aub. I don't have a choice anymore.
Aub?
Aubrey is my 14-year-old daughter.
And you are an old friend from college
who's in town on a conference.
Conference?
That's why adults leave the towns they live in.
You are going to a conference.
Okay.
Look, what they say about teenage girls is true.
And this kid does not fuck around, Ryan.
Just let me do the talking.
Sure.
[Aubrey] Can you take me and Gracie to get our nails...
What is this?
This is Mommy's friend, Ryan.
Hi.
- Hi. - Hey.
[Cindy] We went to college together.
I'm on a town conference.
He's in town on a conference.
Oh.
Yeah, I'm a civil engineer.
So you know, traffic lights infrastructure.
Fascinating.
So can you take me and Grace to get our nails done?
Sure. Can you gimme 15 minutes?
- No. - No?
No. That's not how appointments work.
And ours is at-
3:30.
So you made an appointment
without knowing you had a ride.
- Yeah. - Sorry.
All right, fine. Let me get my bag.
I'm sorry.
No.
Unless you need more-
No, no, I'm good.
Okay.
Are there snacks?
Did you not eat lunch at school again, Gracie?
Have you eaten school lunch lately, Cin?
Help yourself. They're inside.
Cin?
Oh yeah, we're very informal now.
Respect for your elders is considered quaint antiquity, so.
[door thuds]
So what grade are you in?
Ninth.
Ninth. Ninth grade.
Wow.
[Aubrey] Yeah.
What's a ninth grader into these days?
I mean like what do you do for fun?
This is making me uncomfortable.
What? No, I mean,
where do you and your friends hang out?
Did you use to go out with my mom?
What do you mean?
Like on dates?
Like were you boyfriend and girlfriend?
You weren't just casual, were you?
Uh, huh?
Interesting.
What?
You never think about your parents
being with anybody but each other.
Like, you know, they have a past,
but it's pretty rare that you come home to it
standing in your backyard.
And if I'm being honest,
I wouldn't have pegged you for Cindy's type.
I used to have more hair.
I bet you did, Ryan. I bet you did.
All right. Ready to roll?
Your old boyfriend is weird.
I don't know what just happened.
Well...
Yeah.
So-
Ry, we're where we're supposed to be-
Mom, let's go.
Right where we're supposed to be.
Yeah.
Good luck, Ryan, with everything.
Thanks and good luck with everything.
Are you flipping kidding me right now, mom, let's go.
Hey Pito, just so you know, my dad's a cop, a big cop.
You married a cop?
Big one.
[calm music]
[Kyle] Ryan. Hey it's Kyle.
Sorry it's so loud in here.
So I know we like literally just saw each other,
but I just wanted to say I had a lot fun
and I'm glad we met.
Guys! Can you shut up!
Sorry, my friends are...
So, you know, anyway, I might be a little drunk,
but I liked you or I mean,
I liked hanging out with you tonight, so,
you know, use my number, you know.
Call me back soon.
Don't feel like you've gotta wait or anything.
I kinda can't wait to talk to you.
Okay, bye.
This is Kyle, from tonight.
Okay, bye.
[Automate Voice] To save, press pound.
To delete, press seven.
[keypad clicks]
Message deleted. End of save messages.
From the petty trespassers that open the door
to the most profound contraventions imaginable.
We inspect, we dissect, we try to heal these old wounds
that have since scabbed over.
We brace for pain and blood as we pick at them.
And we're often surprised just to find new smooth skin
in place of the trauma we remembered leaving.
Lacerations of the present, however, they are fresh.
They have not been given the time, the air,
the energy to heal.
This is where your journey will lead you.
When you arrive at the present, you arrive at the moment.
[calm music]
[crowd chatting indistinctly]
Sorry, I just...
Can you hold this for a second?
I'll be right back. I'm sorry.
I just have to talk to him really quick.
Hi. You came.
You look great.
Thanks. Are you gonna go inside?
It's getting pretty crazy.
My dad was just on the head table
leading everyone in the YMCA. [chuckles]
No, I just...
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Thanks.
I hope you have a really great life, Kyle.
[Kyle chuckles]
[insects chirping]
[melancholy music]
Hey, Sarah, why don't you give it a rest?
[melancholy music]
Do you wanna call him?
How about some air?
It's a nice night for a walk.
Look, I'm just trying to help.
I know.
[melancholy music]
I know.
I just can't anymore.
At this point in your journey, reverberations of your past
and the vibrations of your future
will converge into a singularity.
You'll be existing in real time.
You'll be living in real time.
You'll be evolving in real time.
Evolution has changed.
And change is the indisputable law of the universe.
It is our only constant.
So accepting yourself by the very definition of the word
violates this law.
There is no end to evolution.
There is no end to change, my papillon,
we are not the end of evolution.
We are not the end of evolution.
We are evolution.
Yeah.
[audience applaud]
Thank you. Books are for sale in the lobby.
And of course the seminars are available on the website.
Upgrade your gold membership for premium access.
[engine revving]
Look at this asshole.
[car door thuds]
Whoa, whoa, whoa. You can't park here.
Sarah Gordon. Does she live here?
Yay tall, dark hair, blue eyes.
He's talking about the pretty girl with the dog.
Oh, don't act like you don't know who I'm talking about.
I see you come out here all the time
to watch her walk up the stairs, you fuckin' pervert.
I'm just making sure she gets home all right.
There's a lot of creeps in the neighborhood.
Mm-hmm.
Upstairs, left door.
Thank you, sir. Thank you. Thank you so much.
[door thuds]
Henry, go inside and put on some underwear.
He could see your ding-dong.
[knocking on door]
Hi.
Sarah Gordon?
Becca Hanson.
No. Does Sarah Gordon live here?
Depends. You a student loan officer?
No, my name's Ryan.
Holy shit. You're Ryan?
Yeah. Does she live here?
Yeah, she went out a couple of hours ago.
Will she be back soon?
You know, I don't know.
Her LoJack stopped working a couple weeks ago
and I just haven't had the chance to get it fixed yet.
She went out to get some air.
Okay.
[dial tone droning] [phone ringing]
And left her phone on the couch.
Dude, there's like four places in this town to go.
Go find her.
Right.
Go, go.
Thanks.
[footsteps thumping]
I'm a supporting character
in a Cameron fuckin' Crowe movie.
This is my life? Jesus Christ.
[door thuds]
[calm music]
[door bell rings]
[calm music]
Excuse me, miss.
Miss, you wouldn't have a couple of cigarettes
you could spare, would you?
Yeah, sure.
Wow. God bless you, miss.
[Sarah] Anytime. [chuckles]
[calm music]
[both thud]
What the fuck?
[both grunting]
Yo, my man.
I don't know what the hell you think you're about to do?
But that shit isn't happening tonight.
Yo, miss, I suggest you keep walking. I got this.
Yo, are you listening to me?
Huh?
You see, that's exactly the problem
that you ain't listening to what I'm saying.
That's why I got no other choice but to give you the smoke.
Wait, what?
[fist thuds] [Ryan grunts]
Damn, I fuckin' broke him. [laughs]
No, no, no. Miss, miss. No, no-
- No, no, it's- - I'll handle it.
No, no, it's okay. I know him.
Wait, you know this guy?
Yeah.
Wow. My bad.
I'm truly sorry, my man.
You hit me.
Yes, sir. I did.
I haven't been hit in the face since the fourth grade.
And once again, I truly apologize.
[Ryan sighs]
[Ryan] Hi.
You're here.
Yeah.
You came by yourself?
[calm music]
You came here for me. [sighs]
I'm sorry.
[calm music]
You should have said that a long time ago.
I know.
[calm music]
You should have.
[calm music]
This is some of the most beautiful shit I've ever seen.
[calm music]
Ry.
[Ryan groans]
Ry.
What the hell are you doing here?
Hey, man, you hitting that thing?
All right, bro.
Quiet.
Oh, sorry.
Is that your ass?
Is that her ass?
What the fuck.
Wow, this is a confusing sensation.
Why am I looking at you right now?
Well, ma was worried about you.
Jesus, you didn't bring her here, did you?
No, of course not.
She thought you might have.
So she sent me out looking for you.
Honestly, I just guessed you were here.
Good guess.
I just asked myself, where would you end up?
[Sarah] What is going on?
What the are you doing?
Trevor?
Hi, Trevor. Trevor, can you see me?
Yeah, ma, I can see you.
Oh my God, did you find him? Where is he?
Yeah. Yeah, I found him. He's fine.
Oh God. Thank you, Jesus.
Trevor, what are you doing here?
Yeah, he's near Buffalo. He's with a girl.
Oh, girl?
What Girl?
Hey, say hi to my ma.
Trevor, no.
[Ryan's Mother] Hi. Hi, honey.
Hi, nice to meet you.
[Ryan's Mother] It's nice to meet you.
And thank you for taking care of my little Ry guy.
Ma, come on.
[Ryan's Mother] Hi, honey. I was so worried.
She was so worried.
I'm sorry for scaring you, ma.
[Ryan's Mother] Oh, it's okay, honey.
I'm just glad you're safe.
I think they had sex last night.
[Ryan's Mother] Oh, well that's a very natural thing
for young people to do.
I hope you had fun.
Mom.
[Sarah] Oh my God.
Hang up the phone.
Ma, I gotta go. I'll call you tonight.
Okay, okay. You boys be safe now. Okay?
You take care and I'll see you really soon.
I love you both so much.
I love you too.
Love you too, mom.
Okay. Okay, then I'm [mumbles]
Goodbye.
Get out.
[Trevor] Listen-
Get out.
You got a condom I can borrow, man?
I had two of them, but we used them this morning.
What?
No.
Who?
Morning.
- Becca? - Hi.
Did you ask him?
No.
Shit.
Becca, no.
Now that's a team player.
That's the kind of attitude
that's gonna bring you straight to the top.
Becc.
He's gross.
I'm counting on it.
It's an illness, you know, addiction.
It's an illness.
All right, let's go make some bad decisions.
[door thuds]
[Tom sings in foreign language]
[Trevor] Powerful thrusting.