Let me ask you something.
Do you know what a dream actually is?
How about a memory?
I'm actually asking you.
Anybody?
Well, I once heard that memory
is about dreams from our past,
and dreams are about memories from our future.
I guess it makes sense, both dreams and memories
are somewhat shapeless and hard to define.
Confused?
Okay,
this is my memory about a dream I once had.
A dream to perform, in my own way,
and as long as I got to do that,
nothing else really mattered at the time.
You see, when I arrived that night,
and yes, this is the memory,
I was scared shitless.
I was about to follow a dream, but in doing so,
I was getting way more than I bargained for.
Bitch.
No, no, no, no, no, let me tell you something.
I know that motherfucker around here somewhere,
because I tell you what,
I got that track his ass app he was telling me about.
Talking about he going to get some milk.
-Who take two - -? -Excuse me?
Excuse you.
What the fuck?
I'm sorry, I'm just trying to get to - -.
No, what you're trying is my mother fucking patience.
What are you, sneaking around here.
You the FBI?
The NSA?
-The CIA? -Okay.
BLT?
-BET? -I'm sorry.
Bitch please. Hello, girl..
Hi.
You here for the show?
Yeah, yeah, I'm here for the show.
ID.
Right, sorry.
Here you go.
I'm actually in the show.
You sure you're not lost?
This is the Cherry Pop, right?
Go on then.
Dressing room's in the back.
Great, thanks.
Don't make eye contact with him.
Fucking queers.
âª
But in doing so, I was getting way more than I bargained for.
Fucking lights.
Cherry Pop wasn't exactly the place to be at the time.
But I was prepped and ready.
Nothing was gonna stand in my way.
I wanted to be on that stage.
Looks like Dorothy got lost.
That's tonight's cherry.
-He's the cherry? -Hey, you got here.
He's the cherry?
I'm Michael, the night manager.
Right.
Were you running late or something?
No, why?
Nothing.
You know where the dressing room is?
Yeah, back there, right?
Yeah, the show starts in about 20,
but you got a while till you're up.
So take your time.
Okay great.
You nervous?
Yep, a little.
But I, I've been warming up the vocal chords all day.
For the after party?
No, for the singing.
Honey, there's no singing, just move your lips to the words.
I, I understand, but, I told the day manager
that I'm actually singing.
He said it was fine.
Well, I don't.
Meet Michael.
His dreams never came true.
And I'm pretty sure he didn't want anyone else's
to come true neither.
And it's night now and not day, so what I say goes.
-Yeah, yeah, but you... -Listen,
I got to get back to work.
But if you need anything, let me know.
-Yeah, but it's a big part of... -Break a heel.
Just to clarify for all of you
who might be a little confused right now.
I was a normal guy with a normal life
that I was lucky enough to share with an amazing person.
So, why didn't I just leave
when I was told I couldn't sing as promised?
Well, the answer is that
singing was only a part of the performance.
I had this dream, I wanted to have the experience
of giving others an experience.
But finding the stage to kickstart your dreams on
is not an easy task.
And that is how I ended up at Cherry Pop .
You see, Cherry Pop wasn't your normal dive bar
with an open mic.
It was a drag club.
Taken.
Taken two, the sequel, honey.
I'm not really sure what I had expected.
You can't sit here.
But feeling like it was my first day of school was not it.
Anyway, let's start with the queen of queens.
Zaza.
Girl.
Get your ass out here.
Zaza.
My Marcello.
What am I supposed to do without you?
If only you could see what's become of this place,
of me.
How am I supposed to follow such
talentless drool
without you?
What's the point when the only good thing about this shithole
went away with your last breath.
You left me.
Helpless.
Hopeless.
Worthless.
Powerless.
Senseless,
defenseless.
Motionless.
Emotionless.
Zaza.
They say Zaza had the potential
to be the biggest drag queen the world had ever seen.
Not only because she broke seven feet in heels,
but because her performance as the first cherry
was supposed to be the greatest drag number of all time.
Garnering a three-hour standing ovation that was just ending
by the time she reached home.
But it never would have happened
without her long-time muse, lover and collaborator Marcello.
He was her Mona Lisa.
Her inspiration.
And when he died shortly before my arrival,
she lost all reason to tuck.
She handled it quite well.
Hey, hon.
I'm Ariela, did you want a seat?
Yes.
Thank you.
So, you're our cherry tonight?
Yeah.
Laundry day?
What? No.
Why? W - - why?
Never mind.
Okay, hey, they always this warm?
Only to the cherry.
Don't worry about Skid Row over there.
Some sort of friendly hazing, or...?
No, this is just them being friendly.
Everybody goes through it.
So, how long does it last?
As long as you do.
And then if you survive the night,
you get to come back and join us again.
I was the last cherry to make it.
-How long ago was that? -A few months ago.
That's high standards for such a fine establishment.
I mean, sorry.
This gig isn't what it was supposed to be,
so I'm not sure if I'll be back anyway.
Because you think this is where we want to be?
Hon, this is where dreams go
after they're dead and gone and buried,
six months rotting, here we are.
You found yourself at the same place.
Great.
I swear to God, Zaza, if you don't come out,
I will get them to tow your car.
I will do it.
Not my reserve spot.
I'll fucking do it.
You wouldn't dare.
You just,
you just gonna sit here?
Did you want me to sit there?
Being raised on a farm
had earned Kitten a rare degree of patience,
a trait extremely useful for a hostess at Cherry Pop .
She'd left home at the mature age of 15
and followed her dream to move to the big city.
A couple of years and street corners later,
she eventually ended up here.
But you could still see that twinkle
of a little farm boy's dream shining bright in her eyes.
My God,
Zaza, I'm serious.
The show starts in like, two minutes.
I don't care.
Tell them I'm dead.
Wish I could.
All right, look.
You're on suicide watch tonight.
No, honey, that was last week.
But thank you for being aware.
What are you talking about?
The TV show, Suicide Watch .
That was last week's episode that I was on.
No baby, no.
No, no, no.
I
need
you
to stay outside this door
and make sure Zaza doesn't kill herself.
You know, c...
Thank you.
I'm just gonna see....
Okay, what is wrong with my clothes?
Seriously?
You're the cherry?
Yes.
Okay, whatever.
Listen, you go on towards the end of the show.
-Okay, great. -Just before Zaza, got it?
-Yes. 'Cause I was... -All right, good.
That's good.
I was trying to tell, Michael, that I'm supposed to sing live.
Sing live?
Yeah, that's my act. I sing live.
Honey, we're all singers.
Bam, I have three albums.
You don't see me complaining.
So just go out there
and you're gonna do what you're told.
-Okay? -Okay but...
-No, no. -No, but...
Bop, sh.
Good girl.
-Hey. -What?
Ariela, it's your mom, girl.
-I'm sorry, your mom's here. -Yeah, yeah, yeah, I - - I.
-Your mom's here. -I get, I...
Your momsy came to see you today?
I just, I don't know.
-You want the...? -No keep them.
They're good actually.
This is what, I was really into, scat for a while.
Not jazz, just I was into... scat.
Scat?
Like scooba-dubba-dop-dop-doop?
You're new in town.
You're new.
I'm gonna tell you about scat.
It's,
Okay, okay.
Okay. Okay. Okay.
So, if you're free later.
Honey, hey pumpkin.
Hey, Mom.
What are you doing here?
I, I'm here to watch the play.
God, okay.
Makeup's a little heavy.
Is it one of those Asian plays?
I've told you a thousand times, mom, that we're drag queens.
You're playing a queen?
How Shakespearean.
Ariela's mom always dreamt of having a daughter
with whom she could dress up,
play Barbies, and have tea parties with.
Instead, she had a son.
Whom to her surprise enjoyed being dressed up,
playing with Barbies and attend tea parties
as much as the neighborhood girls.
But even so, she was still waiting for the day her prince
would bring a real princess into their lives.
Okay, I have to go.
Okay, I just wanted to wish you luck before your show, honey.
Okay.
-I'm gonna go. -Okay.
Is Brenda coming?
I'm not sure if Brendan is coming.
If she comes, you tell her to text me, okay?
Well, if he does I'll let you know, if HE does.
-Okay. -Him, him.
Come on.
Sorry.
Break legs, I love you.
Yes, it's fine for now.
I just wouldn't touch the box.
Great, thanks Hector.
So we're good for tonight, right?
Yes, we are.
-Just don't touch the box. -Okay, great.
Hector, thank you.
We're pretty swamped back here, so I'm gonna get back to it.
Sure, yeah.
Half past already.
Hey, there's a show tonight, right?
Ye - - yes, yes.
It'll be starting any minute.
We're just running a little bit late.
Hey, this damn.
Woo-woo.
I'm not sure what Terry wanted in life,
but he sure did love the Cherry Pop queens.
I mean this guy never missed a show.
Every week he was there, even though he wasn't supposed to.
You know, because of the restraining orders.
What time is it?
- It's Terry time. - Jesus.
Hey, will you watch the bar for me?
I got to check in the back, see what the hell's going on.
Michael.
Terry.
Angry little mother fucker, ain't he?
-Hey, Terry. -Eric, my man.
Hey, the show hasn't started yet?
Nope.
It'll be on soon now.
Delicious, I think I'm gonna get me a seat.
You mind fixing me a drink?
Usual?
One Terry and tonic, yes sir.
Eric, my man.
Yeah,
All right, and make sure you put your tip on my tab, all right?
I got you, I got you.
Kitten, what the hell is going on?
I'm trying to get Godzaza to come out of her fucking cave.
I don't care.
Start the show without her.
Zaza, open this door.
I'm untucking.
Don't you dare untuck.
What are you doing?
I'm choosing a monologue.
This one's got a cowboy in it.
Like that movie, you know, Broke ass Mountain.
We said we broke up, see, so you know I...
- I know, I know. - Is this seat taken?
Hey girl.
Drop it.
Hi.
Jizzelle.
That's beautiful.
Is that southern?
Not when I'm upside down.
Dante.
Like the writer?
No, like the volcano.
Eric my man, all right.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Pardon me, excuse me.
Excuse me.
Excuse - - excuse me.
Excuse me!
Rude ass mother fucker, like you own the place.
Around here, Terry's table.
Show you what...
Honey, you are looking fabulous.
You look just like a real girl.
Isn't that what we all hope for?
Are you in the show?
Heaven's no.
I'm no Joan Crawford, but I do have my respect
for proper hangers.
You know what I mean?
No, actually, my son is in the show.
Congratulations.
Like father, like son.
Sure, I guess there are things in common.
Excuse me,
why are you touching my things?
According to Choriza,
she was once the most beautiful girl of her village.
I don't know what women from there look like,
but she had moved here
in hopes of becoming the next Miss America.
I know, long story short,
she ended up working a lot of odd jobs
and living in a lot of random places with other immigrants
until she ended up working here at Cherry Pop .
Legally, of course.
What do you mean things?
My makeup, honey.
Gosh, Choriza, just leave her alone.
Andale , shoo, shoo.
She touching my makeup.
I'm sorry, I thought it was the dressing room's.
Here, hon, just take this.
You're gonna want to use that,
that's probably made in Mexico.
Mira, pendeja.
First of all, I'm not from Mexico, okay,
I'm from Puerto Rico.
So technically, I'm American.
And secondly, my makeup, from China.
And speaking of makeup,
where the hell is my God damn mascara?
Well, honey, I would be more concerned with those eye brows.
Well, the one eyebrow that you've got going on,
more than I'd worry about those eyelashes.
I'd worry about them damn teeth you got in your mouth
before you worry more about them lips.
You Mister Ed looking mother fucker.
Meet Collin and Latron, our very own odd couple.
Collin was an Ivy League graduate
and the son of a senator from Connecticut
who dreamt about fame and fortune.
I always knew her as Blanquisha.
Latron was from a low-income family in the south
and dreamt about the exact same thing.
I knew her as White Chocolate.
Did you think this was Collin?
Tsk, tsk, did you vote for Trump as well?
Bet it was you that stole my makeup.
Do we now?
You use foo-foo mascara as well?
Actually, yes, I do's.
No, you don't.
For us, from us.
Okay.
Even if it was your makeup, I'd be doing it a favor.
A favor?
No, darling.
There's no makeup in this world
that could ever do your face a favor.
Listen here, you 1987
Rhythm Nation fat ass Janet Jackson wanna be?
F - - hold on, fat ass?
-Fat, thick. -Don't you - - ever.
Ever.
Ever, call Miss Jackson, if you're nasty, fat.
You bitch.
Security.
There is a black man up in here.
Bitch, where?
I am not black.
I'm dark white.
Did someone say black man in here?
Okay look, , I was young,
they said there was gonna be nudity.
But I thought it was gonna be like
more of an art piece kind of thing.
I didn't know the name of the film was so literal.
No, girl, I didn't get the lead.
I was the one he was in .
Goo.
Dellusia was special.
She didn't have dreams, but fantasies.
She wasn't just the actor, writer, painter, sculptor,
playwright, teleplaywright, or the great dramatist, novelist,
activist, Satanist and botanist that she claimed to be.
She was so much less than all of that.
She was a person.
And with or without the respect no one had for her,
she tried her damnedest to prove it.
Well.
So hon, tell me, what are you doing here?
You mean, why am I putting myself through this?
Yeah.
Same as everyone else.
I just want to perform.
That's right, you're the singer.
Yup.
So, I'm assuming it's not going so great,
'cause you're about to put some panties on.
No, it's not.
But I've been trying different things, and, you know.
Different things like tonight?
Yeah, exactly.
I'm just trying to find my path.
Except I'm not gonna be able to test my routine tonight,
so I'm not really sure what I'm doing here.
Well, I've said it once and I'll say it again.
This place doesn't exactly give you what you're looking for.
Yeah, well, we always want more.
It's our brightest talent and our biggest curse.
The dream for something bigger, something better.
Or just something different.
I've always been baffled by people who are content
with what they have and where they are.
For the rest of us,
life seems to be about managing the balance.
But when you start asking yourself
if you've gone too far in pursuing your dreams,
or if your dreams are truly dead,
the answers you seek are not gonna be where you're looking.
Especially when you're staring yourself down in a mirror.
Sometimes you just have to grab the makeup at hand
and throw yourself into the deep end.
Ladies and gentlemen, after much wait,
we finally bring to you our hostess needing the mostest.
Woo-woo.
Miss Kitten Withawhip.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Welcome, welcome, welcome.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Cherry Pop .
How you all feeling tonight?
Woo, woo, woo. Yeah.
I think I've actually had sex with about,
two-thirds of the audience tonight.
So, go to the clinic,
because that was the purpose of this show.
-All right. -Woo-woo.
Looking good, baby, looking good, yeah.
And we have our all-time favorite,
Craig's List killer in the house.
Make some noise for Terry, ladies and gentleman.
Woo, woo, Terry in the building, baby.
First name fucking last name Terry.
Terry has scared more middle-aged white men
than prostate cancer.
How you feeling tonight, Terry?
I'm trying, time flies, you know.
All right, calm down, calm down.
Now some of you guys may have heard, it is actually
Lady Zaza's last show with us tonight.
Or anywhere, for that matter.
-She's done. -Yep, yep.
-That's it. -Yep.
But listen, as in every week,
we're gonna bring out all the girls
you've grown to know and hate,
and we're gonna bring out one new girl.
And someone's gonna get that cherry popped.
Woo-
And of course please put your hands together
for DJ Oscar, ladies and gentlemen.
Now Oscar had the beautiful and innocent mind of a child.
And when he agreed to deejay at the bar for only college credit,
no one had the heart to tell him that he would
have to actually enroll to receive them.
Third grade education, thank you DJ Oscar.
Stop.
It's time to see what you came here to see.
Men performing in dresses
they probably stole from Target,
'cause they can't pay their rent.
So, get ready to throw some crumpled up dollars
at people who have made their parents very sad.
Let me hear you make some noise.
What did she just say?
I'm not gonna tell you one more time, I didn't steal your shit.
-I wish you - - no. -I didn't steal your shit.
-You need to quit, bitch. -Quit what, bitch?
If you taking my things one more time.
- Hey, hey, hey. - I don't.
-Ladies. -What?!
What is going on here?
Icky Azalea over here keeps taking my things.
Listen here, you ghetto bitch.
-Ghetto? -I don't...
- ...yes, ghetto, honey. - No.
I will have you know I am from Connecticut.
And I went to a Ivy League school.
You probably didn't even get a GED.
- GED? - Yes.
Not everybody can afford college, Michael.
I've been trying to tell your ass...
-Will you two quit it? -What?
I'm the - -.
-And you. -What?
You're up. Get out there.
Listen here, bitch.
No, it's not over, bitch.
-All right, let's go, come on. -It ain't over, bitch.
No.
-I'll be waiting for that ass. -Come on.
-Fucking bullshit. -All right, you.
All right, let's get it together, come on.
Don't tell me what to do, hold on.
This is a hate crime.
A hate crime.
I hate you.
You got some more to say?
I do.
-You got some more to say? -Ladies.
I always got something to say, bitch.
All right, all right, we'll take care of this after the show.
To my dearest loved ones.
You want to come back for more?
You ain't nothing. You ain't nothing.
Let's do this. Bitch. Are you crazy?
To whom it may concern.
By the time you'll be reading this,
I will be reunited with my love.
Having leapt out of the window.
It's time to make some noise
for the only white girl who lives in Compton.
Please put your hands together for Miss White Chocolate.
Yeah.
âª
âª I can't have this kid right now âª
âª Don't know who the daddy is anyhow âª
âª I can't afford it âª
âª I'm gonna have to abort it âª
âª It's my right âª
Yeah.
âª It's my prerogative âª
âª I'm the one who says if this baby's gonna live âª
All right, Zaza, that's it.
I'm calling the tow company.
Hello, is this Cici's Towing?
I'll be right back, I got to go take a hot, steamy dump.
All right.
Hey.
Any of you know how long until I'm up?
What, is that a weird...?
Are you growling?
Okay,
âª If I was 17 I would flush you at the prom âª
What? Is she talking about...?
âª I feel you feeding like a parasite âª
-âª Rock a bye âª -Is that a baby?
âª I would say, goodnight âª
âª I can't have this kid right now âª
Ain't no baby of mine.
âª Don't know who the daddy âª
Can you two shut the fuck up?
Thank you.
Shit, really?
I just said, shut the fuck up.
âª Thanks to Roe Vs. Wade we can be pro-choice âª
âª Now only God can judge and shake a finger âª
âª But I'm still in the alley with a wire hanger âª
âª I can't afford no time âª
âª I can't afford no energy, yo âª
âª Let me spell it out in alphabet cereal âª
âª N-O-B-A-B-I-E-S âª
âª This goes out to all my selfish bitches âª
- Well. - My goodness.
Come on girl.
âª I can't have this kid right now âª
âª I don't know who the daddy is anyhow âª
âª I can't afford it âª
âª I'm gonna have to abort it âª
Shake it, you sure can't afford a baby.
âª I can't afford it âª
âª I'm gonna have to abort it âª
âª Hey âª That baby was yo's.
You're not coming? What do you mean?
Yes, she's here.
Yeah, because your mother's such a gem.
An ex-convict.
I - - yeah, yeah, she got out early on parole.
That's not the point, honey.
Who is it?
It's just me.
I'll, I'll be right out.
Everything okay?
Yeah, of course.
Everything's fine, why would you ask that?
You just sounded upset in there.
No, no, nothing to be upset about.
Absolutely, no reason to...
At that time, Ariela was going through a rough patch.
Her boyfriend, Brendan, just didn't understand her mother.
Her mother just didn't understand
that Brendan was her boyfriend.
And being the youngest queen at a place like Cherry Pop .
Looking back, I totally understand.
Kitten, you're up.
God damn it, shit, shit.
All right here, here.
Shit.
Hello.
Owner of the car?
I can play anything you want.
I can play whatever role.
See, this is how it's done, bitch.
Soft and feminine.
Soft and feminine?
No, darling.
You're a fucking man.
In the end there was no more flame burning,
in this life.
No more beauty in this world.
No more song in this dance.
No more dick in this ass.
I was never one of many words.
So, let me end this brief farewell with a haiku.
Life leaves one thirsty,
a broken heart, cracked, and dry.
Worse than my herpes.
All right, it's time to keep this show moving right along.
Yeah.
Put your hands up, but don't shoot.
Make some noise for Blanquisha.
âª
âª I hate you, white bitch âª
âª Could be your high-pitch cross stitch âª
âª something about you flips my switch to off, bitch âª
âª You turn me off, bitch âª
âª I said it âª
âª Brenda, girl, you such a big time spender, girl. âª
âª Ask ma what your husband ball âª
âª be the chip to your membership âª
âª Costa Rica, take a trip âª
âª And you never pay a dime for it âª
âª Hey, hey, hey âª
âª Stephanie âª
âª you drank up all the Chardonnay âª
âª In my house, in my house âª
âª Golf clubs, goat cheese âª
âª high roller with your baby stroller âª
âª and you always in my way âª
âª by the way, your husband gay âª
-âª So get - - âª -Just breathe.
It's gonna be okay, a, get, it's gonna be fine.
Just breathe.
I just got to tinkle.
Okay, hey. Let's...
Hey, hey, what's wrong with you?
What's wrong?
Everything's wrong with me.
My relationship, is all wrong.
My mother's brain, is all wrong.
My makeup is probably so wrong.
- I just can't... - Okay, so...
Okay, yeah, bring it in, bring it in.
See, I told you.
Telling me,
Okay, well no habla espanol. But let me tell you something.
He was a saint.
My God, can you please hand me the phone?
I cannot look this anymore.
I shouldn't have eaten those fish tacos.
See, this right here is exactly why
you don't leave your phone behind.
Amen.
Hello?
Ex - - excuse me, no. Listen, the thing is,
I'm trying to tell a story here and I can't
because this ring tone keeps going off.
And everything...
Wait a minute, you're his what?
My God.
What?
Bitch, that mother fucker is straight.
No.
-Yes, bitch. -No.
Thanks, I needed that.
You know, what you have must be pretty perfect
compared to all this.
Hey, we have our issues just like everybody else.
But I guess having someone who can put up with me
is pretty unique?
I mean this has got to be weird.
But it's just something I have to do.
I'm sorry, I don't know if I'm making any sense.
I wasn't.
You are.
I really wasn't.
I hope that your man knows exactly how lucky he is.
Well, actually.
Like if you need a crutch to cry on,
a shoulder to lean on,
whatever, I've got your back.
No matter what.
Thank you.
But actually, Ariela, I'm a...
Breeder.
- Wait, what?
âª
- âª Get in your golden minivan âª - Yeah.
âª Start with a girl âª
âª might have had a kid but you're still look pregnant âª
âª Girl, drinking juice without gumption âª
âª What's that you left on your plate? âª
âª You eat chicken without the skin? âª
âª Girl âª
âª You just a stupid white bitch âª
âª talking about hot yoga âª
âª Like, I'm on my way to hot yoga âª
-âª Okay âª -Come on, Blanquisha.
-âª Brenda âª -Yeah, baby.
âª Stephanie âª
âª Lisa skank âª
âª Caroline âª
âª Pita chips âª
âª Goat cheese âª
âª Skittles âª
âª And baby corns âª
âª So, get in the golden minivan âª
âª Start with a girl âª
âª You might have had a kid but you still look pregnant âª
âª Girl, drinking juice without gumption âª
âª What's that you left on your plate? âª
âª You eat chicken without the skins? âª
âª So, does that mean you're not gonna eat that? âª
âª Well, slide it over here, white bitch âª
Now that's how you do it, bitches.
I swear to God I was like...
No, where the hell is everybody?
I don't know.
But listen, you need to find Choriza,
she's up next. Thank you.
What the?
Girl?
Where'd everybody go?
gang bang in the bathroom.
Let me tell you something, it's nasty.
It's sticky, it's wet, it looks weird and it smells crazy.
And I'm not even talking about the pussy yet.
Okay enough.
I'm not feeling so well.
-Girl, I'm not lying. -I'm feeling like cheat.
What are you even doing here?
Yeah, what are you doing here?
What about the stuff you just said about having my back?
Let's not dwell on the past.
Okay, wait, so just because I'm straight
I'm some sort of freak here?
Is this some kind of a joke to you?
Do we look like fucking clowns?
-I mean... -Don't even answer that.
What the hell is going on up in here?
Did I miss a gang bang?
No, bitch, but you about to witness a straight bashing.
A, what?
He's a hetero.
I'm standing right here.
You mean he's... ?
Yes.
My God.
You seen a...
vagina?
I know, it's disgusting, we were just talking about it.
Okay move, I have to use the toilet.
No, no, no, girl, you're up next.
You need to get up onstage.
No, no, no, no, no. I just cannot go on stage right now.
- Come on now. - Jesus Christ,
I thought you Mexicans had stomachs of steel.
Enough.
I am no Mexican woman.
-See what you're doing to us? -You're tearing us apart.
Go!
Bitch!
Fucking Mexican seal-looking bitch.
All right, this next girl's a crowd favorite here
and in the local bathrooms at the public parks.
Make some noise for Miss Choriza.
Woo-woo.
Man, substitute teaching is hard.
Shadida, don't run so fast.
No doubt, Wendy.
It's definitely not what I had planned,
but, you know, times is tough.
Yes, sir.
Malcom Jamal, give Seja her ball back.
Well, hello, Nicotina.
What's wrong, honey?
Miss I made doo-doo.
You know when I shit in my pants,
I just shake it out the leg.
âª Shake it out the leg âª
âª When I shit in my pants I just shake it out the leg âª
âª Shake it out the leg âª
âª When I shit in my pants, I just shake it out the leg âª
Miss Tell us about the first time it happened?
-Sure, I'd be glad to. -Choriza looks like shit.
âª Gather around kids, let me tell you a tale âª
- âª One that always... âª - My God.
She look like she tuck too hard.
Shit, girl.
Now look, dude.
We're very open minded, accepting people.
But we just don't plain want your kind around here.
Yeah, you fucking hetero.
What the hell is wrong with you guys?
Guys?.
Wait, you seriously want me to leave?
No, honey, we just playing.
Okay, because for a second there I actually...
Yes, we want you to fucking leave.
And you?
This is unbelievable.
You know, I'm doing this for the same reason you are, right?
-It's not... -Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah.
I'm sure it's a lovely story, darling.
And we'll have time for that later on in the film.
But for right now, bitch,
You got to go.
Fine, I'm gone.
Not yet you're not.
Get the fuck out of my house.
Bitch.
You better tell him.
Didn't you think that was a little harsh?
No, dear.
This is my last warning.
Girl!
Shit.
Okay..
What the...?
Hey.
Okay.
What, what, what.
Okay.
Girl.
You didn't see this?
My God, you're sleeping. All right.
Hey.
What is this?
You, such...
Girl, you are crazy.
No, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
My God.
God.
Zaza.
âª Shit, but I be putting up a fight âª
âª But they fought back, they was kicking my liver âª
âª No fucker's trying to give me the doody shiver âª
âª Trying to hold it in âª
Quick, go get the others.
You know, I really should.
You know, everyone's been raving about that movie and,
and I love that Australian bitch.
What's her name? Anna Nicole Kidman.
No, bitch, would you get the fuck up?
Zaza's about to kill herself.
-You don't have to yell. -Bitch, go!
-Shit. -Run. Move!
-I'm a girl, I'm saying. -Yeah, you are,
check it do I got lipstick on my teeth?
Yeah, how many teeth you got?
No, all of them.
This - - you still got that bag, under?
Nu-no, bitch, I ain't got your damn bag.
I feel like shit.
What the hell is wrong?
Kitten sent me.
Something about, something about renting a movie.
God, what was it?
- My God. - I can't remember.
Move, bitch.
âª But got lucky, passed out in my car âª
- No. - Is she sick?
Shit, I got to get this on film.
Woo.
Going down, bitch.
Come on.
Girl, what is this news that you got to tell us?
Zaza's killing herself or something.
What?
-Zaza's gonna kill herself? -Yeah.
My God.
-Yeah, come on, bitch. -No bitch, no.
So, what was all this about?
Well, I guess the cherry likes to have sex with ladies.
Big deal, I have sex in my lady clothes all the time.
No, I mean like, like real ladies.
Like post-op? Picky, picky.
-Like women. -Come again?
Vaginas.
Hell, vampire shit.
Girl, what,
did she kill herself yet?
I don't know yet, concerned friend.
Now, help me try to get into the room. Come on.
Hey.
Stop. No, no, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, just...
Girl, Zaza, it's not worth it, baby.
Really, you're telling me that I'm heartless,
but you're telling her she's worthless?
Girl, please.
âª Heck yeah bitches, that child worth it âª
- âª I just stayed in bed âª - My God.
âª When I shit in my pants, I just shake it out the leg âª
Baby girl.
âª Shake it out the leg, shake it out the leg âª
-âª When I shit in my pants âª -I got you.
Girl, get that door open.
Hey, mother fucker.
Hey.
You get down, girl.
Hold on. Hold on, I got this, I got this.
Hide your kid, hide your wife,
this thing's about to blow y'all.
Yes.
No, no, no.
Shit.
Blah.
Where is she?
Window.
My God. My God.
What?
My goodness.
- Jesus Christ, where's Kitten? - My God.
Who's gonna clean this shit up?
My God.
Choriza just puked all over the stage
and you're supposed to be out there doing damage control.
Girl, Zaza just fell out the window!
-She what? -Come on, move!
If she dies, can I have her - -?
My God, my God.
We'll be right down, I'm gonna call the ambulance.
-I'm gonna call the ambulance. -Where's the damn phone?
I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna do this shot, bitch.
- Watch this. - Can I have some?
Mother fucker.
Where the fuck did she come from?
Hey, girl.
Are you okay?
I'm fine.
Okay, good.
Come on, girl, get up.
-Get up. -Stop slapping me.
-Okay just. -Just...
Leave me here to die.
Can you just like, I don't know, move over a little bit,
and just die like right...
Let me be, you heartless reapers.
G... we agreed that was consensual.
Look, could we just move Glen or Glenda
or whatever the fuck here,
so I can move this car please?
Hey, back the fuck up, mister tow truck man.
Look, I'm just trying to do my job.
I said now,
you Toby Keith, Duck Dynasty, devil's reject,
John Wayne looking mayonnaise
on a grilled cheese eating sandwich mother fucker.
It's a long day.
Hey, baby, you okay?
Okay, Zaza, you have to get up,
or we have to call you an ambulance.
-Ambulance? -Yeah.
Yeah, we know your broke ass ain't got insurance,
come on, get your big ass up.
-Come on, big bird. -Mother fucker.
There we go.
Yes. Look at her. She's doing it.
Let me get these...
There we go. Grab the boats.
And the gravy boat shoes, I got them.
-Are you okay, girl? -No, I'm not okay.
What do you think?
I just fell out of a fucking window, am I okay?
Yeah, I... I, I mean I didn't see I just assumed.
Thank you for helping.
You got a handle on it, big foot.
I will f - - when I'm done with this show,
I'm gonna fucking step on top of your head.
- Come on. . Sassy.
As the drama was dying down inside the bar,
my head felt like it was about to explode on the outside.
Was I upset that I'd just been exiled by a bunch of outcasts?
Or that a couple of poorly dressed queens in cheap wigs
and heels just questioned my manhood?
Of course I was.
I was doubting this whole adventure, and to be honest,
I was this close to just grabbing my dress and leaving.
That sounded girly, but you get the idea.
Help, this bitch is heavy.
My God, did she commit suicide?
Ye - - yeah, Blanquisha, she committed suicide.
And we're making the corpse more comfortable.
You... okay.
Come on, have a seat, boo.
On the couch.
Jesus Christ, you really did a number on your car,
didn't you?
It doesn't even look like a car anymore.
All right.
Anything else I can do for you, your majesty?
Fluff your pillow?
Curl your lashes?
Massage your feet, maybe?
Thank you for your sarcastic concern.
But no.
Turn on my music and leave me be.
Heavy ass bitch.
Quietly, please.
Girl, I know.
They're all just so selfish and rude,
but I'm here to take care of you.
I'm gonna have you relax, read you one of my monologues.
-And it'll be a... -Out.
-Yeah, well I... -Out.
- Jesus. - Out!
Okay.
Shit.
Girl.
All right, that was fun, right?
Hey.
Hey, babe.
Sorry I tried calling earlier,
but I'm not sure if I'm gonna make it tonight.
That's fine, don't worry about it.
Are you all right?
-Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. -Okay.
Well, some of the other performers are quite
interesting.
Yeah, sorry about that. I...
It's fine.
Are you sure you're all right?
Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine.
I'm, I guess I'm just a little nervous, you know.
Well, you're gonna be amazing.
I've seen it enough times to know that.
Thanks.
I'll try my best to make it, okay?
No, don't, trust me, it's actually better if you don't.
I, I'll see you at home, okay?
Are you sure?
Yes. Yes...
Okay.
Actually, I have to keep, getting ready. So.
Well, break a leg, babe.
I love you.
-Thanks, love you too, bye. -Bye.
Fuck.
Girl, I feel like shit.
You feel like shit?
I just threw up my entire fucking lunch over those people.
Well, you know what, you might have deserved it
after the way you treated the cherry.
Please, we did him a favor.
Hell, I probably deserve worse.
No, he was too different.
Different?
Bitch, when you first came here,
you couldn't speak a lick of English.
And as far as I'm concerned you still don't.
I am still learning, okay?
Maybe we should ask Santa Clause for a Rosetta Stone this year.
All I'm saying is it takes a lot of balls for what he's doing.
I mean he's got bigger balls than us.
Yeah?
Well, we do it too, no?
It'd be the same thing if you were like to join,
I don't know, like a hunting club?
A que club?
Let's try, the Tea Party?
Honey, parties and clubs, I'm there, baby.
Never mind.
All I'm saying is that he's doing something different.
And I've got to go out there and tuck my tail between my legs
and perform for my mother.
Yeah, well, and you don't do nothing different?
Maybe I should.
Hector, I am so sorry.
Can you guys give it up for Hector?
Damn.
Hey.
La - -.
Change the song for me.
Thank you, and a carne asada hakuna matada to you too.
This next girl coming to the stage is the runt of our litter.
This bitch is so young
her mom actually came to the show tonight.
That's my son.
Hello, seeing around. That is actually her mom.
Ma'am, how do you feel about your son, that you nurtured,
cared for, you probably even breastfed,
is on stage tonight wearing a dress from Goodwill?
Performing a song just for us. How does that feel?
He's always loved the theatre.
And it's these brave roles that's gonna win him
the Oscar one day!
Yeah.
All right, you know, whatever,
whatever you need to tell yourself.
Your son's an actor and that was a good hair color, right?
Please put your hands together for our next girl.
Her name is Ariela.
My baby.
âª
âª Thanks for sticking it in me âª
Okay.
âª I had a really great time âª
âª Ba, da, da, da, da, da, da âª
âª Hey âª
All right, what's the situation?
Girl, she says she ain't going up.
Shit!
All right, I guess we'll just have to close the show
with the cherry.
Yeah.
Wait.
Where's the cherry?
Don't worry about the cherry, we sent her ass packing
right before Zaza went out the window.
You did what?!
Yeah, we really showed her.
Well, I showed her, I mean
they were more like Kelly and Michelle.
What, what? Kelly and Michelle?
-Yeah. -No, girl,
not Kelly and Michelle.
No, I got his ass so good, I swear to God
he was crying when he left.
Crying, because your breath is like cutting onions.
I had him up at the corner, I scared the shit out of him.
You scare the shit out of everybody with the way you look.
You two...
are idiots!
Listen, how are we supposed to do a show called Cherry Pop
if we don't have a cherry to pop?
Sounds like your problem.
I mean, I mean really love, I was more like of a, a,
a back seat passenger with the whole situation.
The hell.
This one was the leader of the pack.
I was the one who was sitting in
the back slapping the whole time.
-All right, you two need to. -It was her the whole...
- Shut up, shut up, shut up. - No, guys, it's fine.
I've got this. You know what,
we can just change the tempo of the show a little bit
and I'll do one of my monologues.
Okay, first of all, Dellusia,
no one wants to see you acting.
You are a bad actor.
My grandma said you were bad and she's blind, she's deaf,
and she's been dead for ten years.
You are worse than Mariah Carey in Glitter.
You are worse than Halle Berry in Cat Woman .
Yeah, you're worse than Shaq in Kazaam, yeah.
You're worse than Mayhem Miller in Cherry Pop .
No one wants to see one of your fucking monologues!
No one's even seen them yet.
Yeah, and we're already sick of them.
You know what, I am not a terrible actor.
I'm a terrible person.
And in the words of Julius Cesar.
Here we go.
Et tu, Brute?
Assiente.
âª Guess I didn't realize âª
âª You were gonna stick it in me âª
âª Thanks for sticking it in me âª
Right, this is Brendan, Ariela's boyfriend.
Brenda, according to her mother.
And he didn't know it,
but he was about to make his stage debut.
âª I had a really great time, ba-da-ba-bop, ba-da-da, âª
âª We should do it again âª
âª Thanks for sticking it in me âª
âª I had a really great time, ba-da-ba-bop âª
Hey.
âª Ba-da, da, hey âª
âª We should do it again âª
âª When you put your hand on mine âª
Those are in.
âª Even though I hadn't planned on it âª
âª You stuck it in me, you stuck it in me âª
âª Stuck it in me, you stuck it in me âª
âª You stuck it in me âª
âª Stuck it in me âª
âª You stuck it in me, and... âª
I think my son's a homosexual.
-Hey. -Hey.
You know, it's terrible how people can treat you sometimes.
Yeah.
Yes, it is.
I guess it's natural when you're different?
I know that.
I mean there's nothing wrong with being different.
Who am I kidding, there's always something wrong.
I know that too.
And who are you supposed to talk to?
That's what I'm saying.
I think it's important to find that person.
But what happens when you can't find that person?
You'll find that person,
you'll find many people who can do that.
Sometimes it can be the person standing right next to you.
Really?
Yeah.
Wait, you mean to listen?
I mean only if you have the time.
Sure, yeah, I would love to.
Well, I think I'm ready.
Great.
Well, I guess I'm worried about what I'm doing, you know.
How far do you follow a dream before you let it go?
All I want to do is perform.
Don't get me wrong, I have someone very special
that never questions my decisions,
but that's probably why I feel even more responsible, you know.
You think you're the only one
-who's got responsibilities? -No...
Who's got a family to worry about?
I got a man downtown who is so drunk right now
he can't even raise an arm, let alone get a job.
I...
One of the girls in there tonight
has a kid in private school.
She's got to lie about what she does at night.
You think it's easy?
You think we quit? No, baby, no.
You put on your heels, you hold that head up tall and proud,
because if you can do that, then you are one of the brave.
Honey, it ain't your problems
that make you special.
It's how you deal with it.
You're, you're right.
You're so right.
I needed to hear that, thank you, Dellusia,
thank you, you're right.
Nailed it.
Stripper wives monologue it is.
Dellusia's speech gave me the push I needed.
I was not about to let these evil queens
decide whether or not I was going to perform.
I was doing this no matter what.
I am what I am
and they of all people should know that.
Look who hath returned.
And uninvited might I add.
Look, I'm sorry if y'all have a problem with me.
But you know what, deal with it.
We know you sorry.
But FYI, being a true queen means
never having to say, I'm sorry.
So, what do you want me to say?
You guys want a reason for why I'm here?
I'm here for the same reason you are, to perform.
I mean do any one of you actually want to be a woman?
Hell no.
Do you dress up as women at home?
If they ask nicely?
Well, I don't.
And I don't want to be a woman either.
Because I'm a man.
Just like you, just like you, and just like you.
We're all here for the same reason.
But you're straight, though.
You do know there are straight guys
who've put on women's clothes before, right?
Puh, name one.
Dame Edna.
Yes, I get it.
Eddie Izzard.
Eddie Lizard, what the hell is that?
Eddie Izzard, how dumb or old are you?
Look, don't you dare talk about my age like that, okay.
Yes, just because your wifey has you wearing her clothes.
Hey, hey.
You listen to me,
you can say whatever the fuck you want about me.
But if you ever talk about my fiancÃ�(Copyright)e again, any of you,
I will shove your dicks so far up your own asses
you won't be able to tuck again.
Having a cross-dressed, completely legal immigrant
in a chokehold was never part of my dream.
But that's how dreams work.
We only see the destination, not the road we have to travel.
And in such times, just remember to stay calm.
You got it?
Si, si..
I don't need to explain anything to you, you, or you.
Finish my makeup somewhere else.
You got anything else you want to say?
No. No.
You know, I've seen that all. What's that for?
Bitch.
Bitch, my tape out it's five minutes ago.
God damn.
You know what, my nauseas are gone.
What?
My nausea, my are gone.
I have no clue what you're saying.
Look, we gonna have to get us one of them straight,
angry mother fuckers come up in here some more.
Girl.
âª Thanks for sticking it in me âª
âª I had a really great time âª
âª Ba-da-da-da, da-da-da, hey âª
âª We should do it again âª
âª Who, baby, I love your way âª
âª I got to tell you I love your way âª
âª I want to be with you night and day âª
âª Thanks for sticking it, inside of... me âª
Hey.
I just wanted to say I'm sorry,
for the way that I treated you back there.
I, I shouldn't judge you,
because I've got enough shit in my life,
and I was a real bitch.
And I'm sorry.
It's okay.
Being a queen means, you never have to say sorry.
I guess that's true.
I like that.
Saying I'm sorry is for the weak.
Yeah.
That's a good outlook on life.
Go get 'em, man.
All right, ladies and gentlemen.
It is that time again.
This is the moment you've all been waiting for.
Where we turn a princess into a queen.
Little bitch cub Simba into a fierce lioness Nala.
We take Ron Paul and turn him into Rupaul.
It is time for somebody to get that cherry popped.
Can I bum one of those, honey?
Sure, honey.
- Thanks, I really need it. - You're welcome.
You ever feel like you haven't listened to people enough?
Wait.
Look at me.
How can I ever go on stage again when I'm as pathetic as this?
I couldn't even kill myself, Marcello.
How can I accomplish anything when you're gone?
Where is the purpose?
Where is the beauty? Where is the passion to perform?
Thank you.
Thank you, no really.
Gosh.
Hey, I'm running really late.
I just want to know if the show's still going on?
Hon, right there, Cherry Pop .
-Amazing, thanks, guys. -You're welcome, too.
And that one did look like a woman.
But there's no mistaking the real thing,
like ourselves, right, honey?
Damn.
Bano, el bano.
My gosh.
Look at the big light switch.
My music.
I'm still alive in here, you know.
Can't never have nothing nice.
Bah.
What the hell just happened?
It's not spinning, it's not spinning.
What the hell just happened?
I'll take a look.
Courage can be an unreliable friend.
Luckily for me, my better half was not.
I had told her not to come, but if it wasn't for her,
I wouldn't have gone another step.
Especially in those heels.
She was my partner, she was my woman,
and I was her man.
âª Ave Maria âª
Don't fall for it girl, shit.
What the hell, Terry?
Brilliant, all of them.
Let's go.
Woo.
Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, yes. Brilliant.
-Yeah. -Terry?
- Shit. - Terry, is that you?
Hey, baby, hey baby.
Don't you baby me, mother fucker.
What are you doing here?
I was just having, you remember I went out to get some milk
and I was coming right back.
Soon, no, mother fucker, have you lost your mind?
No, I was going back...
...what is this shit on your clothes?
I was... you don't even want to know.
- No, get your big ass over here. - Okay, shit, damn.
Bye, Terry.
Listen, I wouldn't wear that one if I was you.
Just I, I like what you're wearing.
No, no, no, it's not good.
Listen, your mom, she'll be fine.
You - -
we need to get you ready for the finale.
Hurry up.
By the way,
good job.
Who knew?
Girls, let's make haste.
You.
Woo, girl.
I don't know how long this night has felt for y'all,
but let me tell you, back stage, this is one hell of a night.
Can I bum a cigarette?
Thanks. Great.
Do you have anyone in the show?
My son.
You?
My fiancÃ�(Copyright)e.
Honey.
I have something to tell you.
Words cannot express
the debt of gratitude I have for you.
You woke me up.
And so I thank you.
Whoever you are.
Whatever your identity really is.
Whoever they call you.
In my memory you'll always be that nameless hero.
Nameless hero.
Who saved my life.
I mean...
-I could just tell. -Sh.
Nameless hero.
Okay.
Now girls, we have a show to do.
Someone get me in my corset now.
Got it.
Standing there, looking back into the eyes
that were once judging and dismissive,
I now saw remorse.
I saw guilt.
Humiliation.
They knew they messed up, done wrong, made a mistake,
been defeated and out-dragged when they...
Okay, okay, okay, you know we can hear all that, right?
What?
You know that stuff you do and it's your voice and things.
Yeah, bitch, you know I can do that shit too.
Yeah, we were just staying quiet out of politeness,
but right now it's getting seriously ridiculous.
Hey, when are we going to those tea club, some hunting party?
Wait, have we always been able to do this?
I'm about to bring back to the stage
our very first cherry pop.
That's right, and this bitch is old.
They say most drag queens age like fine wine.
This bitch age like Greek yogurt, it's disgusting.
Wait till you see it.
This bitch is so old, she used to baby sit Joan Rivers.
This bitch is so old, her social security number is one,
and she's excited 'cause it's Jell-O day at the center.
Brendan.
She went all out, she put her teeth in for the show.
Look, if you're gonna try to be nice to me, or...
Sh.
Make some noise for Lady Zaza.
Come on, people, clap.
Milk. You got to learn tonight.
Baby, you...
Hell no, fuck that shit, come on.
âª There was a time when a one-night stand âª
âª Went always exactly as I had planned âª
âª You liked my ass and you gave it a smack âª
âª And a 40-ounce later I was flat on my back âª
âª If you want my petunia, you get down on your knees âª
âª But you ain't gonna get it like a quarter with cheese âª
âª Baby, this ain't no drive-through window âª
âª Yeah, I work at McDonald's, but I think you should know âª
âª I'm a two-night lady âª
âª Not a one-night âª
Woo.
âª Tonight ain't the night âª
âª But tomorrow for sure âª
âª So, when you get to calling me again âª
âª We can wrestle on my bear rug âª
âª Growling in my den âª
âª There was a day âª
After finding the flier at a truck stop bathroom,
Choriza decided to visit a convention
dealing with immigration held by the tea party.
We haven't seen her since.
âª Lucky for you, I didn't say two weeks âª
âª If I fuck you tonight, that means that I'm a hussy âª
Blanquisha and White Chocolate
eventually put aside their petty differences
and less than a year later the two of them were married.
âª So I tell you again, before you get âª
They divorced two weeks later.
âª I'm a two-night lady âª
âª Not a one-night âª
âª Tonight ain't the night, but âª
Michael and Eric still work at Cherry Pop .
So, swing by and say hi.
They'd love to see you.
âª On it, me again âª
Kitten moved back to the family farm and raised the first ever
livestock consisting exclusively of animals
in same-sex relationships.
Their motto is Hancock Farms, where the steer are queer
and your poultry dish kisses fish.
As an actress, Dellusia never caught her big break.
But many years later, when all of her artistic material
were posthumously published as a collection,
it almost made Amazon's top 100 21st century
North American LGBT artist collections,
catalogues and exhibitions list.
âª ... Calling me, me again âª
âª I'm gonna give it to you, before I count to ten âª
âª One, two âª
Ariela's relationship with her mother and Brendan
only grew after that night.
And while her mother learned to cope
with never having a daughter,
she did find the pleasure in dress shopping
with her two sons.
âª He's our... âª
âª If you think you're the one, you're gonna make me come âª
âª You've got to make her come âª
âª Come âª
Zaza went into retirement and is now mentoring a whole army
of young drag queens.
As for me, I got what I came for.
Because Cherry Pop wasn't just a place for dead dreams,
it was a place where they were reborn.
And everything else is just a cherry on top.
âª I'm a two-night lady, not a one-night âª
âª Tonight ain't the night, but tomorrow for sure âª
âª So, when you get to calling, me again âª
âª I'll be busting out the crystal âª
I'm gonna mess up my makeup.
So no, mother fucker, have you lost your mind?
- Are you fucking... - I...
You sure you're not lost?
We'll take care of it later, okay?
Bitch.
Cut.
Say cut.
Listen, line.
Blah.
If you...
Is Brendan coming? Shit.
What the fuck is a Choriza?
Fucker.
Come back, I'm not through with you.
Action.
Wait.
- So I, I see you use Fubu. - God damn it.
And I see that you also use Fubu Mascara?
Fubu, God damn it.
No, don't.
You, you use Fufu?
You boo boo, bitch.
First name fucking, last name Terry.
How are you?
- - how's your?
First name fucking, last name Terry's
in the house tonight.
Fucking Terry has been beat up by more fucking cock suck
I'm not gonna say that joke.
Shut - -.
Listen to me.
A little softer, feminine.
Feminine?
No, there's not, there's just la, la, la.
I've got to go take a hot, steamy dump.
Just I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I...
need you...
to sit...
No, darling, I don't fucking remember.
Who's got a family to worry about.
No.
Shit, I fucked it up.
We can't change the concept of a - -
I'm celebrating.
Breeder.
What?
His what?
My God.
I said now, you mayonnaise on a grilled cheese
looking mother fucker.
I thought you Mexicans had stomachs of steel
with all the shit that you put in your mouths.
Enough.
I'll just take all of them.
- See. - And, yeah.
Okay, great, thank you, thank you.
Mine is a Kwanzaa album, so.
Great, that is great, thank you.
-If you're into black people. -Cut.
I got to pee, that's the only bathroom.
Girl, why is there so much fuzz up in your hair, bitch?
'Cause I slept in my car last night.
My life's going wrong right now.
I am no Mexican woman.
Don't even answer that.
Shut up.
I can't reach this.
Train.
It sounds like there's like six trains coming.
There's a train.
-Thank you. -We're called trans, not trains.
Okay, what is wrong with my clothes?
-What? -A train's coming.
This gig isn't turning out to be what it was supposed to be.
Shit. Train.
If you ever talk about my fiancÃ�(Copyright)e again, any of you,
I will shove your dicks so far up the train's ass,
you will never.
No, train me, train me like a dragon.
Where we take a princess and turn her into a train,
riding by the studio, right now.
That mother fucking train.
You pissed off someone at Amtrak..
-Plane. -Plane.
I'm tired of these mother fucking trains
on this mother fucking plane.
Tell me about...
Helicopter?