- Previously on "Grosse Pointe Garden Society"...
- Does a part of me wish that he had married
some Grosse Pointer who just wanted to push out
a bunch of really cute grandbabies?
You're his muse.
- I want to be a grown-up with you.
- Have any sold? - Enough to make rent.
- I'm just tired of being your shoulder to cry on.
- It's called friendship. - This just isn't working.
- Whatever dirt you can dig up,
I'm gonna need a lot to take the kids.
- We kind of agreed.
He would put me through law school,
and when I got a job, It would be his turn.
- Last night was really fun. - Got a little crazy.
- The good kind? - The best kind.
- We decided to sub pansies.
- Well, they won't tell the same story, Catherine.
- I'm gonna murder Marilyn.
- I'm the lunatic who's just imagined
we've been dying to get into each other's pants?
- Hey, I'm sorry if I've given you the wrong idea.
- Your son is about to throw his life away,
and we're gonna have to do something about it.
- We all know what's going on in your marriage.
- I want you out of your office tonight.
- How do we get the body to the garden?
- I can drive the body.
- Look alive!
Welcome. It is so lovely
to see you again this year.
Come on in. Grab some champagne.
Welcome to Monaco Under the Stars.
Now, Lorraine, that dress really accomplishes
what it set out to do.
Thank you.
It does look amazing, doesn't it?
Now, I don't want to toot my own horn,
but toot!
George, I did not recognize you with that cummerbund.
Hazel, is he on some sort of secret mission?
Because he is giving Octopussy.
I can't get into that restaurant,
so I don't know what I have to do or who I have to--
Hey! Oh, my--
Help yourself to some champagne.
Hi! Well, thank you.
I hope you brought your checkbook, Fred.
- Ah! You made it.
Each square depicts a little bit
of Grosse Pointe history,
dating all the way back to the Model T.
Oh, there you go!
2,500 from Amanda Mills. Thank you, Amanda!
Do we have 3,000?
3,000.
Okay, we are just getting started here, folks.
So who wants to take it up a notch?
Hank? Hank?
Your wife's face is telling all of us
that you might want to.
Buzz!
Damn it, Buzz!
How could you do this to me?
She just wants to know
what's holding up the permit for her nail salon.
- City's got a moratorium on new awnings.
- You're the mayor, Buzz.
You're supposed to help the community.
- The community is not just your dingbat friends.
Oh.
Mr. Fingers.
You already had your breakfast.
- Marilyn, would you keep that thing off the table?
I don't appreciate him tracking cat litter
where I'm trying to eat.
- Well, maybe he doesn't appreciate
you leaving the windows open.
- It gets stuffy as hell in here.
- There are coyotes, Buzz.
I'm gonna be late tonight.
- But I'm making osso buco.
- We got to grind through dinner.
- Who's we? - What?
- You said, "We have to grind through dinner."
You and who else?
- Tara, obviously.
- Seems like you guys spend an awful lot of time together.
- She's the only one on the team
who'll put in the hours.
We can talk about it later, okay?
- Can we do the osso buco tomorrow?
- The longer it marinates, the more tender it'll be.
- You'll have dinner with me, right, Mr. Fingers?
Come here.
People love to say being a mother
is the hardest job in the world.
I'd argue raising a healthy garden
is just as demanding.
From the expensive equipment to the pricey pesticides,
gardens are a constant drain on your resources.
- This should cover the tutor, SAT prep books, rulers,
protractors, calculators,
whatever else it takes to get into college these days.
- I can't thank you enough, Ms. Bradley.
- Don't give him the money.
He'll just lose it all in crypto.
And then no one's going to college.
- And just when you can finally enjoy
your garden's beauty...
You have to rake it all out and start over next season.
- Since when do you do yoga?
You ready to have your mind really blown?
- You're juicing?
- Mm, I got to stay young for the kids.
I've been told I need my chakras tuned.
- Ew! - Right, gross.
- No.
There's no mats left. - Oh, I'll get you one.
- How? - I got pull here.
How?
- Hey, babe...
can I get another mat?
- Hmm.
I hate when you think the lid's on, but it's not,
and then it explodes everywhere.
- Hey, hey. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Take it easy. - What? They gave me a new one.
- Okay, take a seat. Just deep breaths.
- Are you okay? - Um, are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine, weirdo. Why?
- Ah.
Because I just heard you're going to lunch with my mom.
Well, she's been asking for years.
- Yeah, and you said you'd only ever go over your dead body.
Well, that was before we figured out a way
to make our lives work here.
- Uh-uh, you figured out.
- Stop.
- Mm. They're flying off the walls.
I mean--
- How many sold? - All of them.
I can't keep up.
- Okay, then you keep painting,
and I will enjoy my club sandwich with Patty.
- First, you'll start with a wedge.
- It's a little heavy for lunch, but I'm down.
- Yeah? Are you down for the hour-long debate
about whether or not she should have dessert?
- Only if she does.
- She never does.
- Oh. - Yeah.
Sorry.
- When did kids' birthdays get so out of control?
- Oh, we rented out the Detroit Zoo for Addie's.
- The entire zoo? - It's the only way you get
the hands-on experience with the elephants.
- Remember when it was just, like, Nerf guns and pizza
in a backyard?
- How does that get you any cred on TikTok?
- Every birthday, they just go bigger and bigger.
- Oh, what's Zach's theme this year?
- Outer space.
- Oh, so, like, renting out the planetarium?
- Well, knowing Melissa and Connor,
they'll put the kids in orbit
in some tech billionaire's rocket.
- Dakota's friend Isaac is doing that for his bar mitzvah.
- What?
- Yeah. - Mazel.
- It's like the only reason I'm even there
is to feel bad about myself.
- Not the only reason.
- They already hired a guy to set up the bounce house.
- Uh, your son, dummy.
- Oh.
- Anyone have a daisy grubber?
- Oh, here, take mine.
- Haven't I taken enough from you?
- Always here for you, Alice.
- Never mind. I'll prune.
- Mm-mm.
I can't do another month of this.
- At least they're being mature about it.
- Ladies!
Less chitchat, more clip-clip!
Azaleas don't pinch themselves. - On it, Marilyn.
- Like this!
- Ouch.
- Well, you only hurt the ones you love.
- Okay, go ahead.
Hey!
- Thank you.
- He got so much more whipped cream than me.
- Okay, you know what? just go sit down.
Go ahead. Thank you.
- I mean, how dare you try to buy them a delicious treat?
What were you thinking?
- It's like this mind control thing they do.
I start driving them home from school,
and I wake up here.
- Pierce Goldman, Goldman Weiss Properties.
- Oh. I've seen your billboards.
- You used to work with Gary Mills.
Unfortunately.
- I knew you looked familiar.
I've heard a lot about you.
- Yeah, well...
Okay, yes, it's all true.
I banged his brains out in every house in Grosse Pointe.
But you know what you didn't hear?
I sold all those houses--
not Gary, not his father-in-law,
definitely not the rest of that frat house
they called a realty team.
It was all me.
- That's exactly what I heard.
- Oh.
- Look...
if you ever want to get back in the game,
we need a closer.
- Your Americano. - Thanks.
Not that kind, though.
- No problem, Mr. Donnelly.
- And just clear the afternoon, Liz.
Major client's coming in.
- Wow. Thanks.
Could I get a coffee?
- Liz, can we get a coffee in here?
All right, Kenny, let's make this fast.
- Your boy has been very busy.
- Excellent.
Okay, last month,
he illegally parked in a yellow zone.
- Okay, so?
- It wasn't a Sunday.
- What else? - Okay.
Ah! He's a thief.
- Really?
- Self-checkout at the market.
- I'm listening.
- Forgot to pay for bags.
- All right.
Kenny, can I ask you a question?
- Shoot. - What's our goal here?
- To dig up dirt on Brett. - No.
Our goal, Kenny.
- To get you and the missus sole custody.
- There he is. Now we're getting it.
- So you guys can move to Chicago
and join that fancy law firm.
- So why the hell have I been paying you for weeks
to detail his yoga routine?
- He's really making progress.
- I didn't hire you to start a Brett fan club.
- Thank you.
- Get back out there
and find me something I can use.
- The guy who built this house also did a bunch of museums
in Tokyo.
- Looks like my dentist's office.
- Same vibe.
- Uh, about to start my shift.
- Even better.
- You might want something stronger, though.
- Ford got an A on his history test?
- That's what it says.
Yes!
Oh, I knew he could do it!
- School says he cheated.
- Why?
- His answers were, like, identical
to the kid in front of him.
- Okay, well, maybe he studied just as hard.
- You don't go from a D to an A overnight.
- Like people can't change?
- They're kicking him out.
I wish it could be different, but...
- You can't do nothing!
- You don't get it, lady.
- Educate me.
- Even if I believed him,
that school's not gonna listen to people like us.
- Why?
- The guy who built my house was a plumber from Toledo.
- What looks good?
- Uh, thinking about starting with a wedge.
- With blue cheese?
- Yeah, is there any other way?
- Huh.
Are you ordering that because you want it or...
- Well, I love salad.
- Or because I'd want it?
- I'm just trying to fit in.
- Well, now look at this. How cute.
- Just, uh, doing a little bonding
with my favorite daughter-in-law.
How, uh--how's the mayor?
- Working his fanny off, per usual.
- Uh, speaking of,
have you asked him about Keith's parking ticket?
- Yeah.
Buzz said that he parked in handicapped.
- Well, with his back, he should be allowed to.
They just won't give him the little blue sign.
- Mm.
Okay, well, I'll--I'll see what I can do.
- You're the best.
- Um, try the wedge. Excellent.
- Oh, yeah, so I hear.
She's such a phony bitch.
- Why do you quilt together if you don't like each other?
- 'Cause we're all just trying to fit in, Alice.
Look, you want to get out of here?
- Well, we haven't ordered yet. - Well, the food sucks.
Come on, let's go. You like hot dogs?
- Maybe I got you all wrong, Patty.
- You know what? We're not that different.
- Mm, but you love this town.
- It doesn't mean I didn't have other plans.
- Well, I mean, you live four blocks
from where you grew up.
- Ah, excuse me.
Just excuse me for a minute, young lady,
but you are looking at WBIV's premier weather girl.
- Stop it.
- Mm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm.
Taking a closer look now at Wayne County.
Keep that umbrella handy
because we have a warm front coming in,
keeping our chance of rain elevated through midweek.
Mm, back to you, Alice.
Wow!
- Eh... - Wow!
- Yeah.
I was gonna work my way up to station manager.
- Why didn't you?
- Oh, I don't know.
Long hours, the varicose veins,
the sexual harassment.
- But you're so good.
- Well, then...
I had Doug.
- You didn't want to go back?
- Well, now I'm a different kind of station manager.
- Do you regret it?
- Not for a second.
- Having a baby's not for everyone, Patty.
- Oh, neither are olives
until you spend the summer in Florence.
Well, at least you got to be
a meteorologist first.
- That is why I have arranged it...
so you can do both.
- What do you mean?
- You can spend the whole day writing
because you won't need a day job.
And my Dougie can paint till he's blue in the face.
- How are you arranging that?
- Who's ever bought a painting from a coffee shop wall?
- Someone who loves art?
- Someone who loves her son.
- You've spent thousands of dollars.
- Eh, Keith and I have quite the nest egg.
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah, we were gonna be snowbirds in West Palm Beach,
but... - I cannot believe it.
- Who needs to buy an overpriced condo
when we could invest in your dreams...
and a grandbaby?
- This is straight-up blackmail.
- Eh, don't be so dramatic. - That is what it is.
Patty! - It's an opportunity, honey.
- I don't see it that way.
- Well, you want to know how I see it?
High-pressure front creates clear skies ahead.
It's a great time to soak up the sunshine
and enjoy the fresh air.
Back to you, Alice.
- Was it awful?
- Your mom is just full of surprises.
Yeah, she already texted.
- What did she say?
- She feels like you really get where she's coming from now.
- Yeah, well, she made it pretty clear.
- Hmm.
- Can you, um, take a break?
- I'm kind of in the zone right now, babe.
- I need to tell you something.
- Well, the coffee shop wants another series.
- Awesome. - Yeah.
I mean, the guy thinks I should charge more
because they're selling so fast.
- Like, how much?
- He thinks I should double it.
- Jesus. - Yeah.
I mean, at those prices, I could leave the sign shop.
- Is that smart?
- I mean, I could be legit.
I could open my own art gallery.
- Yeah, but it seems risky.
- Okay. Where is this coming from?
- I just don't want you hurt.
I'm tough.
Oh, hey, uh, what was it you wanted to tell me?
Um...
just that your mom...
Is really proud of you.
Oh.
Oh, how did the, uh, dessert battle go?
- Brutal.
- Well, that's the thing about Mom.
She always wins.
- Ooh! How's the Alien Blood?
- Oh, it's just lemonade and dry ice.
- Aww, were you hoping for real alien blood?
- There's an actual astronaut
taking pictures with everyone, so...
- Oh, yeah, and don't forget the exact replica
of Mission Control. - Mm.
No one needs me here.
I need you... - Thank you.
- Inside this moon bounce. - Oh!
- Stat! - Yeah.
- I mean, look at him.
He never exercised once when we were married.
Now he's like a gymnast.
- Everybody's a gymnast in a bounce house, Melissa.
- I saw him hold Crow Pose
for, like, ten minutes the other day.
- What the hell is that?
- I'm just saying--
if he tried this hard when we were married...
- Okay?
- Okay what?
- Well, finish your sentence.
- Nothing.
It's just annoying.
- Higher. Come on!
- You got a good arm.
You should join the baseball team.
It'd look good on your applications.
- Don't have to worry about that now.
- Oh, we're gonna worry about it, braj.
- Did you just say "braj"?
- All I need is your study guide.
- My tutor didn't give it to me.
- Okay, so we'll go get it from him.
- What's the point?
- You're the one getting screwed.
- Actually...
you are.
- How?
- If all this goes away,
you and my dad can't rub your privates on each other anymore.
- Ew!
That's why you think I'm doing this?
- I saw you guys sharing a piece of pie, okay?
- So what? I like pie.
- Nobody shares pie unless they're smashin' smellies.
- Stop saying those things!
- Am I wrong?
- Regardless of what you think you saw
or what you think I'm dying to do with my lady parts,
you still deserve your day in court.
- The tutor probably shouldn't testify on my behalf.
- Why not?
- Because, uh...
I paid him in weed so he'd go away.
- How'd you get the A, then?
- Just copied off the dork in front of me.
Why?
- Oh, it's just easier being the kid everyone thinks I am.
- But you don't have to be.
- It's the only way to get rid of you.
- There were a million other ways to do that.
- And then face it out that way.
- Ooh, nice! - No, we got people for that.
- Oh. All right, rad.
Um, well, thank you for letting me crash
your son's birthday party.
- Oh, my gosh, no.
Thank you for the killer class. It was amazing.
- Oh, hey, you did all the work.
- You're the one who taught Brett to touch his toes.
- Oh, yeah.
Yeah, he's not-- he's not exactly a yogi,
but, you know, he's a pretty great dude.
- Well, you must be pretty great yourself.
Check, check.
Will the birthday boy please report to the dance floor?
I said, will the birthday boy
please report to the dance floor?
There he is.
- Oh, Zach.
- Hold my Alien Blood. - Yeah
- Okay, yeah!
Come on, everyone, it's a dance party.
Everybody report to the dance floor.
- Don't get me wrong.
She's attractive, that's for sure.
But her features are too even for Buzz.
I mean, that injected airbrush look
just doesn't do it for him.
Even if it's all the rage on social media.
Maybe I'm old-fashioned,
but I still say the way to get in a man's pants
is through his stomach.
Yeah, right, Mr. Fingers?
Don't you worry your furry little tail, okay?
Buzz knows a girl that thin
could never make a meal like this, right?
Yeah.
Alice?
Alice, it's Marilyn.
Um, I need you to call me back right away.
It's very important. Please.
Something terrible has happened.
- Sorry I'm late.
- Um, we're in a meeting here.
- Who are you?
- Mm, that's not the right question.
- Excuse me?
- The question you should be asking is,
why does the CEO of the Birdie Bradley Foundation
have to waste her time
to defend our premier candidate?
- I honestly need to know who you are
for security purposes.
- I'm...
I'm Birdie Bradley.
- Are we safe right now?
- She gave Ford the scholarship.
- That I hear he may lose
based on these scurrilous allegations.
- We have a strict policy when it comes to cheating.
- Oh, yeah? What's the policy?
Don't bother believing in yourself
because no one else will?
Guilty until proven innocent?
- He had the exact same answers.
- Exactly.
How do we know this other student didn't cheat off Ford?
- She's a National Merit Scholar
who's attending Yale in the fall.
- Exactly. No need to study anymore.
Classic case of senioritis.
- Ford also admitted he cheated
two minutes before you walked in.
- Exactly, because the system is stacked against him
and every other student
who will never be a National Merit Scholar.
- Ms. Bradley--
- Ford is a victim of privileged bias,
which is not just an indictment of this school
but really of the entire education system
in this country.
- I don't disagree there's room for improvement.
- So you agree that you give kids with money
an unfair advantage? - I never said that.
- And yet, we all heard you loud and clear.
- The Foundation is prepared to forgive
your offensive assault on disadvantaged students
in exchange for Ford's complete exoneration.
- This whole thing is making me real uncomfortable.
- Well, would it make you more comfortable
if the Foundation continued the scholarship
for another student after Ford graduates?
- It'd make me even more comfortable
if it was two students.
- It's educators like you that give me hope
for our children's future.
- Commercial real estate's on the other side.
International properties are on the second floor.
Offices in London and Prague
and just now getting set up in South America.
- You guys have everything but your own barista.
- My man Micheli makes the perfect cappuccino.
He's here round the clock.
This is it.
If everything goes well, this would be you.
We'd have you round out our luxury property team.
And then, you know, the usual grind of nights and weekends
until you work your client list back up.
- Where do I sign? - Full disclosure--
we do have some other candidates in the wings.
- Oh, send them home. I'm your guy.
- Team's excited to meet you.
- I never had a chance to shine at McManus.
Gary always sucked all the air out of the room.
Let me show you what makes me great.
- That is the razzle-dazzle the team wants to see.
All right, you know her from her work and more.
The infamous Catherine Crosby, everyone.
- Hey. - Hi.
Hi.
I am so sorry.
- What's wrong? - My daughter just threw up.
- Oh.
Is she alone?
- No, the babysitter's there, but...
- Can she handle it until you get home?
She really needs her mom.
Sorry.
- All right, who's on deck? That bald guy in the lobby?
- It was supposed to be my solo, not a dance party.
- Mm-hmm.
- Brett jumps in right before I throw my airflare,
you know, and does some lame Funky Chicken.
- Yeah.
- I mean, he just--
he always has to steal my thunder, you know?
- Sucks.
- What is with that guy?
- We can't move to Chicago.
I was watching him with her and with Zach and with Zoe
and how much fun they have together.
- We have fun with them, too.
- I can't take that away from him.
- Look, Melissa, the firm,
they're not gonna give me another shot like this.
- I can't ruin his life again. I can't.
- What about mine?
- You still have me.
- What are you, drunk?
Move! Move!
- You okay?
- Yeah. Uh, yeah, I'm just--
Do you ever wish that, um, life had a pause button?
- My daughter threw up on me all night.
- Oh, my God! - It, like, got in my mouth.
- I don't know how you do it. - Neither do I.
- What's it like? - Having kids?
- Yeah.
But what's it really like?
Uh...
okay, well...
at first, it's all about keeping them
from hurting themselves-- you know, choking on hot dogs,
uh, plastic bags over their heads,
forks in toasters, crosswalks.
And if they survive all that, your reward is worrying
about drugs you've never even heard of,
eating disorders, depression, anxiety, heartbreak.
- Whoa.
- That's not even the most terrifying part, really.
Someday...
you will be covered in puke at 2:00 in the morning
and...
Suddenly realize you have no idea who you are anymore.
- So...
why would anyone ever have kids?
'Cause...
there's, like...
I don't know, five minutes in every day that are...
so incredible.
You catch them singing a song to themselves in the tub,
or they snuggle up to you like a puppy.
Whatever it is, those five minutes
make you forget that you're in hell.
- But is that...enough?
- Sometimes.
How's that for a truth bomb?
- Nuclear.
- Time to un-pause.
- What'd I do now?
- You hit a guy where it hurts.
- Are you serious?
- You just barge in like you own the place...
- Have you been drinking?
- Wave your credit cards around.
Yeah, I use what I got.
- You've known the kid all of five minutes.
- So? - So you've--
you've done more for him in one day
than I've been able to do in ten years.
- Okay.
You're welcome.
- Do you have any idea how that makes me feel as a father?
All I did was write a check.
- Yeah, well...
that's what works with them.
- I just want your son to have a fair shot.
- And...
you used the word "scurrilous."
- I googled it in the car.
Oh, boy.
Okay, I may have had a few drinks.
- Mm.
Rough day? - Nervous to see you.
You know, the last time we were alone,
things happened.
- Hmm. How do you feel now?
- Bummed.
- Why?
- Well, the right thing to do isn't what I want.
- Then you definitely shouldn't stay.
- Yeah, that is definitely something I shouldn't do.
- Just for the sake of argument, though...
- Yeah?
- What if you did?
- Well, then you really shouldn't get any closer.
- And I obviously shouldn't do this.
- I certainly...
shouldn't do this.
- Anything else we shouldn't do?
- Yeah, yeah, and a coffee with that flavored creamer--
the no-sugar one?
- Sure. Coming right up.
- Coffee?
- I'm good.
- So Cricket seems like a good get.
- She's cool. - Yeah.
Is it, like, a bang-buddy sitch,
or, uh, you guys in it to win it?
- Why am I here, Connor?
Look, uh...
given the circumstances,
you and I are never gonna be tight.
- Well, since the circumstances were you stealing my wife,
I agree.
- The thing is,
it's really important to Melissa that we're...
all in a good place.
- Mm-hmm. We'd need a time machine for that.
- Yeah, well, what if I had one?
- You probably will for Zach's next birthday.
- I mean, what if I made good on your deal with Melissa?
- Come on, man.
- No, I know a lot of deep-pocket people
who could help you get your car business off the ground.
- What's in it for you?
- I get a new bestie.
It'll make my wife like me more than you.
All right.
On one condition. - Hit me.
- Admit I saved your ass at that party.
- Those kids just weren't ready for my moves.
- I always tell my friends with kids,
one bad decision can wreck a whole garden.
- Children, on the other hand, are extremely resilient.
- Which is why seeing a flower grow
can be infinitely more rewarding.
But not everyone's cut out for the responsibility
of plant parenthood.
- With global warming,
Detroit will be just as warm as West Palm.
- By then, I'll be dead.
- Oh, what are you, a scientist now?
Besides...
you'll be plenty warm cuddling our new grandbaby.
- What about the beach?
- Nobody needs to see you in a swimsuit, honey.
- Well, as long as I get to see you in yours.
- So you have to make sure you're ready,
because gardens don't grow up and move away.
They're something you have to nurture forever.
- Uh, Marilyn?
I need a favor.
- If you're here on Donna's behalf,
I already told her that Buzz cannot get her fireworks.
They're illegal.
- Not that.
It's big.
- You know I'd love to help,
but Buzz has a list of requests a mile long.
- What if it really pissed off my mother-in-law?
- Well, there's always room for one more.
- I came as soon as I could.
- You're so sweet.
- Well, our fur babies are like our children.
- Yeah, I got an alert on my phone.
Mr. Fingers got out.
Buzz and his dang window.
- Hon, how did you get him away from the coyote?
- Well, thank goodness for Japanese cutlery,
because that thing-- that thing had him in his jaw.
There was so much blood.
- Well, you did everything, um...
you could.
- Mm-hmm.
Let's talk about something else.
- Mm-hmm, of course.
- Why are you still in your gown?
- Oh, um...
wild night.
- Yeah, wild.
I mean, that's what the gala is about.
I'll never forget it.
Yeah.
By the way...
someone stole the quilt.
How do you know?
I saw it...
Hanging out of a trunk of a black Cadillac.
- Whose?
- Well...
I mean, doesn't that smarmy realtor Gary Mills drive one?
- Uh, everyone in Grosse Pointe does.
- Well, not everyone was as PO'd as Gary's wife
when she got outbid at the auction.
- I mean, you were upset, and--
and you probably weren't thinking straight, so...
- I know what I saw.
- Well, you have more important things to worry about.
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
But I will get that thing back.
Mrs. Lewis?
- Mr. Fingers is a very tough cat.
We'll have to keep him till he heals,
but he's gonna make it.
- Thank God! Thank God!
- See?
It's gonna be okay.
- It's all gonna be fine.