[dramatic music playing]
[snoring]
Wife, why procure all this festivity
for our evening banquet?
It is not every axial revolution
that your husband gets promoted,
and now you no longer have to travel for work.
Oh, it's hardly a promotion.
I will still be Collecting Information
and Gathering Analytics Regarding
Extra-Terrestrial Technology, Equipment and Systems.
Regardless, I am relieved I no longer
have to leave to get C.I.G.A.R.E.T.T.E.S.
Right, Vril II?
Ugh, whatever.
Hold that position. I want to generate a memory.
- [camera shutter clicks] - All right, let us consume.
I attempted a new recipe.
Let me know if there's too much cadmium.
I think it is delicious.
[Wife] Vril II?
No amusements until you drain your dinner.
I cannot consume until I actualize this level.
You will not actualize any level
focusing on the move you are making in the present.
It is about the next five, ten, twenty billion future moves.
Ugh.
Did you hear about Var-Don across the street?
His wife said he is close to powering down.
Perhaps he has outlived his usefulness.
How somber.
I hope they will sell the home.
They have a three-ship garage,
and I have optics
on a sweet little cherry-red two-door rocket
that will trigger many envy senses.
- [buzzing] - Vril, you are ringing.
Ooh, ooh, it is my superior.
I must engage.
All he fixates on is his occupation.
Soon, you will have many allotments to be with Father.
[Koko chirps]
[both laugh]
Koko, it is beneficial he was not in the vicinity
where he could absorb that output.
[all laugh]
Mr. Starr, you are appearing well.
[Mr. Starr] Appreciation.
I have lost some decibels,
particularly around my middle frequency.
You know how it gets as you age.
[laughs] Affirmative.
This will be our last download
before you begin your new occupation with the Coluian government.
- Indeed. - At solar up
you will journey to Bryak,
an inhabited planet with a perfection potential
of less than 50 that is in possession of a weapon
known as the Hyper-Ray,
which has the ability to decrease the size
of both organic and inorganic matter.
Once you have run the analytics
and obtained the Hyper-Ray, you may return home.
Ah, after spending so many planetary revolutions
roaming the cosmos,
determining the perfection level
of an infinite number of planets,
it is satisfactory to know none has come close
to Colu's 99%.
And with your new position, you can finally fix that 1%.
I could,
but 1% is such an insignificant amount,
a variable hardly worth acknowledgement.
Spoken like a true government official.
If I wasn't a 12th level intellect,
I would think you were a 13th level intellect.
That's humorous.
[Mrs. Starr] I requested you empty the trash.
[Mr. Starr] I will when I have--
[Mrs. Starr] No bother.
I have done it myself once again.
[Mr. Starr] I must conclude this dispatch.
Mrs. Starr requires atonement.
End transmission.
End transmission, Mr. Starr.
[electronic music playing faintly on stereo]
[volume increases]
The song we were betrothed to.
Hmm, how serendipitous.
[telepathically] I take it the exchange with your superior was satisfactory.
[Brainiac] Why have you switched to telepathic communication?
[Wife] I have unease about Vril II.
He has been in distress as of late.
[Brainiac] Perhaps it is just adolescent digital humanoid defectiveness.
[Wife] No, this is not ADHD.
I would appreciate you conversing with him.
[Brainiac] As soon as we complete this movement
along to the sound, my dear wife.
[chittering]
[disgusted chirp]
Let me be solitary!
Mother has informed me of your recent unease.
You would not comprehend.
Make an attempt.
If you are excreting from your anatomy,
- this is perfectly normal-- - Repulsive!
Then what is the apprehension?
You think you comprehend everything.
That is because I do.
- Non-viable! - Viable.
Then tell me what would happen if the solar orb combusted.
You and every being you know will be residing
in their cybernetic forms
by the time the solar orb combusts.
Even Koko?
Especially Koko,
because monkeys do not exist nearly as long as we do.
How could you vocalize that to me?
I hate you.
I wish you would power down.
You are acting like a level one intellect.
I cannot wait for you to grow to level four or five.
We get it, Father. You can count.
Wow, you are so smart.
I am smart enough to actualize
the tetrominos level you cannot.
You have successfully vocalized
the lack of pride in your offspring.
Get out of my room!
It is my room, as the last time I checked,
you did not have the credits to purchase anything.
[groans]
I have the ability to process the knowledge
of over 490 octodecillion beings,
and he insinuates I cannot comprehend a being I machinated?
You recollect what it was like
being in that stage of development.
I recollect everything.
I am repelled by that offspring.
I wish I could unplug him.
You always want to destroy the things you do not understand.
There is one thing I do understand.
[device vibrates]
Vril, we just exchanged files last night.
According to my calculations,
a couple should exchange files at least 2.3 times a week.
Approval. But sans vibration.
[warbling]
I am satiated.
I will take care of myself.
Solar down, wife.
Solar down, husband.
- Vril, are you in sleep mode? - [Brainiac] No longer.
Proceed with additional caution on your journey.
[sighs]
I have completed the calculations
and there is no need for caution.
All the variables are accounted for.
I am going out for C.I.G.A.R.E.T.T.E.S. one last time,
then I shall quit.
Go into sleep mode.
[switch clicks, buzzing]
[vehicle alarm beeping]
Deficient vehicle.
Sustenance, in case you become deprived.
Appreciated.
I actualized it, you genital.
Vril II, watch your output portal.
You did this?
And I bottled it,
so it'll stay like that forever and you can't mess with it.
The imperfect way you completed this is perfect.
Do I detect pride in your offspring?
We... [sighs]
We will discourse when I return.
[shutter clicks]
Where is Koko?
- [Koko chitters] - [Brainiac] Koko.
- You transgressor. - [chirps]
Acceptable.
One final endeavor together
before I return to Colu in perpetuity.
Lock as screensaver.
[chirps in delight]
Agreement, Koko.
I am proud.
When we return,
I shall transfer that information to him.
- [chirps] - That's humorous, Koko.
[dramatic music playing]
[chirping]
Yield observed item near keel of ship.
The analysis and acquisition is complete.
Koko, let us return home.
[chirps in excitement]
[alarm beeping]
[chirps in alarm]
Non-viable?
No.
Impossible.
No. No.
No, no, no, no.
[chirps]
Wife? Vril II?
I cannot receive any input!
[chirps frantically]
I cannot relay information
as to what occurred while we were away,
as I do not have it.
There is no being dispatching in all of Colu.
Mr. Starr?
[Mr. Starr, disrupted] Vril, transmission difficult--
Mr. Starr, are you receiving my input?
- ...Colu, one variable unaccounted for. - Mr. Starr?
No.
They are inanimate.
How?
How could I not have predicted this outcome?
[chirping]
Agreement.
If only I had recognized the significance of that 1%,
perhaps this... never would have happened.
I will never again have a home.
I shall forever drift in the cosmos,
raging against imperfection.
There.
Finally, a planet with possibility.
[chirping]
The planetary core is unstable.
The entire planet is doomed.
This municipality
is near complete actualization.
- [chirps] - Yes.
Perhaps we could salvage
the planet's most advanced municipality
instead of the planet itself.
Very astute, Koko.
[chirping]
Let us begin.
[Koko chirps]
These citizens are lucky, Koko.
Thanks to us,
they will not have to face the suffering
the future had in store for them.
[intense music playing]
- It is perfect. - [chirps]
Of course time will destroy its perfection, Koko.
But we cannot freeze time.
Or can we?
[chirps]
[device powering up]
[powering up]
[all screaming]
[chirps in delight]
Admonish!
This is no curio.
[Koko chirps]
Finally, the universe has revealed my destiny.
Come, Koko.
Let us be useful.
Our work has just begun.
[dramatic music playing]
Another axial revolution,
another world perfected.
[sighs]
[screen transitioning through planets]
Hmm.
I wonder what Koko is doing at present.
Koko? Koko?
[sucks teeth, pops lips]
[electronic music playing]
Affirmative. Affirmative.
Affirmative.
Faster. Faster.
Affirmative!
Share those files all over him, you filthy...
- [Koko chirps] - Koko!
I thought you were in nap mode.
You should not see such things.
[chirping]
Negative, Koko.
No matter how many municipalities I save,
there is no sense of challenge.
I... I...
Perhaps I have outlived my usefulness.
- [computer beeps] - [Koko chirps]
[Brainiac] Non-viable?
A planet with that low of a percentage
should be completely desolate.
The terrestrial composition is adequate.
However the beings themselves are...
This is the most unadvanced civilization
I have ever encountered.
[chirping]
The most exceptional place on an unexceptional planet.
The potential for actualization of this municipality
is almost null.
This would be quite the challenge.
[chirps]
[both groan]
- What the shit? - Where the hell are we?
- [squeals] - Okay.
Well, that's not gonna work.
Whoever's place this is, it could use a little TLC.
I know, it's like, hang a poster or something.
Get a plant. I'm just saying.
[chirping]
Agreement, Koko.
In the multiple planetary revolutions
we have been actualizing Metropolis,
we have never encountered such entities,
especially this one.
[echoing] I am the knowledge of infinity.
I am the collector of worlds.
I have...
- Way too goddamn loud, buddy. - Jesus Christ!
Hey, great and powerful Oz!
Mind telling us what the fuck is going on?
Show your face!
Yeah, I feel like I'm talking to the banker on Deal or No Deal.
- Ooh, is that show still on? - No, no, no.
'Cause remember, Joker blew up Howie Mandel?
Ah, right, right, right, right. That sucks. Great host.
I always thought he'd be good on The Voice.
[Poison Ivy] The Voice?
Honey, why would Howie Mandel be on The Voice?
Last Comic Standing, maybe? But not--
[Harley] No, he's so good! Oh, he's so entertaining!
- And he's a germophobe, I like that. - [chirping]
Very astute, Koko.
[Harley] Who the fuck is Koko?
How can she...
Ugh. I have left the intercom on.
It's still on dickwad.
Enough!
[screams]
[continues screaming]
What did you do to Ivy, you son of a--
[grunts]
[sniffs] Ugh!
This place is nasty.
Do not refer to my domain with such a pejorative term.
If you insult it, you insult me.
I'm just saying,
you could stand to crack a window or something.
Preposterous.
The atmosphere would cause my exterior to rapidly deteriorate.
[chuckles]
Very humorous, Koko.
Aw, shit. Is Koko that pile of dead monkey bones?
Buddy, what is going on here?
Oh, no. Are you fucking those bones?
Cease your nonsensical blathering.
He is definitely fucking those bones.
Perfecting Metropolis
has been one of the greatest challenges I have ever faced,
and I welcomed it.
But then you showed up!
You are a variable that is beyond calculation.
And as such, you must be eliminated.
Ah, so that's your deal, huh?
You lose your mind when stuff is unpredictable
- and just destroy things you don't understand? - [gasps]
[groans]
Ooh, that touched a nerve. Mmm-hmm.
You are the ultimate barrier to perfection,
and will be stopped
before you spread any more of your damage.
Damage? Damage?
Fuck off, you fat-headed freak!
You have no right to call me...
[slowing down] ...damaged.
Goodbye, creature of chaos.
Stop it, Brainy!
How dare you command me?
And my name is Vril!
Oh, but Brainiac is so much more fun.
Let her go. Remember our agreement.
I take care of the humans,
you take care of everything else.
This one is getting in the way of everything else.
I can keep her in line.
Plus, I like her.
And you said I could have what I like.
You wouldn't want me to, oh, I don't know,
tip off the humans to the little plan
for their city now, would you? Hmm?
[sighs] Approval.
I will return her and her companion.
None the wiser?
As per usual.
This is the best part. This is the best part.
...damaged?
Oh, shit. Are you talking about the Thai iced coffee?
Yeah, they never pack that right.
It's just for the best, though.
Honestly, I should not have caffeine this late.
[chuckles]
Honey, are you okay?
Yeah, I just... I don't remember ordering all this food.
Oh, because you didn't, sweetie. This is my treat.
You know, to... to celebrate killing Jason twice?
What's up? You... Are you all right?
I don't know. I... I have that feeling, you know?
Like when you've been scrolling on Waynestagram,
and the next thing you know, you've, like, blacked out,
and it's the middle of the night,
and you don't know how much time has passed,
and somehow you're six years deep into the page
for your kindergarten best friend's ex-husband's French bull-- [screams]
[gasps]
Oh, Jesus Christ. You have kitten feet.
Hey, how did you get in here?
Um, my boyfriend owns the building.
I kept getting security alerts
that people were coming to your door.
I just wanted to make sure everything was okay.
Of course!
Yeah, just looking forward to scarfing all this chow.
Oh, good, good, good!
You two need to stop ordering delivery.
We want you out and about in Metropolis
as much as possible.
We are so thrilled that you are a part of our city,
and I am personally going to make sure
that you never leave.
- See ya, Lena! - Yeah, and thanks for stopping by
completely unannounced.
Okay, we gotta change those locks.
But first, let's fucking eat!
Ugh, all this dairy is going to be a big-time gamble,
but I think it's gonna be worth it!
That's why you get a condo with two bathrooms.
I know that's right.
You're happy here, right, Ives?
In Metropolis?
Like... like, you're glad that I wanted to...
that we wanted to move here?
Oh, honey, I mean... [sighs]
You're in Metropolis, you know,
so that makes it perfect for me.
Aw, babe!
Plus, they have that place that makes vegan kebabs.
And I know it sounds weird,
but you won't even know it's actually jackfruit.
Still not the best name for a restaurant.
Ugh, those pepper jack and brie sliders
are racing the seven-layer grilled cheese bites for the exit.
But you were right, so worth it!
Right?
Now, here's a big question.
Did you save room for dessert?
I don't know, I'm pretty full-- Uh, doy!
Hey, you didn't happen to pick up any fun
after-dinner drinks, did ya?
Ah, I didn't, honey.
But I could put some pie in the microwave
until it turns into a liquid.
That's okay.
For some reason,
I just felt like a cup of cocoa.
[intense music playing]
[dramatic music playing]