And hey, we’re going to crown the first
LOL Canada champ.
Rated R for radical!
Let’s fucking go!
♪♪
So, home stretch, we’re getting close to the end here.
You’ve all been great.
Uh, but two of you have failed to eliminate anyone.
At the one hour mark, if neither of you makes someone laugh,
you’re out of the game and will join me
and the others in the lodge.
Ooh.
Good luck.
Oh.
I thought the doors would close.
After four and a half grueling hours,
Tom and Colin have fucking brutalised half the cast.
Brandon and Andrew have their work cut out for them
to coax a laugh in the next thirty minutes.
Gear up for the knockout round!
You know it’s my birthday tomorrow.
Is it?
Yeah, I turn 50.
Oh, I could tell you stuff.
If you’d told me that I’d be doing this when I was 50...
Yeah.
I probably would have drowned myself.
Okay.
Okay. So what we’re gonna do...
Oh, here we go.
I just want to show you...
Yeah.
How I got so beautiful.
None of us were making each other laugh.
So when the rule came up,
the pressure was on.
I am supposed to be here. I’ve earned this spot.
I’m ready to work.
These heads gotta roll.
This is my moisturizing routine.
Alright. Moisturizing, okay.
Oh shit.
Oooh.
Yeah.
Oooh.
Okay.
Whoa.
You know of all the gay porno I’ve seen
this is by far the worst.
He’s going for it, though.
Well, you can’t fault him.
I like a lot of things rough, but my skin isn’t one of them.
Gotcha.
Do it up. Do it up.
Oooh. Uh.
Do you feel like I’m sufficiently moisturised enough?
It’s really your choice.
Oooh.
Woo.
Whoa.
Oh!
Holy shit!
That sounded like he cracked his knees.
That was wild.
I would have laughed, there’s no way.
That was incredible.
Thank you.
Yeah, I liked when you slathered yourself in the,
in the white creamy liquid.
Thank you.
Yeah.
I figured if I’d gone through Tom
in a Gorilla costume...
I can go through a guy covering himself with moisturizer.
- Thank you. - It was good.
That was... That was something.
I tell ya Brandon, I’m guessing right now
his clothes are just falling off of him
’cause he’s so moisturized.
Colin said
when you forget you’re playing the game
you let your guard down.
I’m thinking what if I could get Colin to forget
he was playing the game.
Same with Brandon. Same with Tom.
How ’bout you Colin?
As an undetected serial killer.
Yeah.
Have you ever stopped yourself
before uploading your DNA to Ancestry.com?
Oh, absolutely.
That’s funny.
Let’s go Phung, let’s do this.
It’s a cute little baby, I’m just a little baby.
I’m just a little baby, you know, I’m just a little baby.
Oh!
I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m a little baby.
Oh boy.
I’m in a studio all by myself.
Tom! Look at his face!
That was fairly odd, I gotta say.
I actually want to laugh but we’re not allowed to laugh.
I think I’m gonna go slip into something
a little more comfortable... an iron maiden.
An iron maiden.
Oh my gosh.
I don’t know what’s funny anymore.
Looks like Andrew’s feeling the pressure.
I feel like I can’t make them laugh.
These three I just like don’t know, I’ve tried everything.
Okay.
Time’s almost fucking up, boys.
Pucks on the net, that’s all I’m asking for.
At this point in the game, I am so desperate.
I just wanna show you a photo.
We’ve heard about underprivileged kids.
Well, these kids are overprivileged.
Oh.
So I’m helping a charity
that will de-privilege these children.
We’re gonna go into these neighbourhoods
and these homes and de-privilege them.
So you gonna rob them?
Honestly, I have to, like, focus.
I am ready to slay until the end.
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
I’m going bananas. Oh my God.
Porn parodies I feel like might make you laugh.
Possibly.
Sperminator.
What about Shaving Ryan’s Privates?
What about Titanic... Cock?
There were so many "almosts".
We were all on the edge of our seats.
Here we go. The last two minutes here, boys.
You’re here talking about your new show?
Tell me about it.
It’s called Colin Mochrie.
Oh.
I had to live as a dainty, bald, white man for...
- Yeah. - About six years.
Unlock the trauma. What was that like?
It was really devastating.
I’m really finding this riveting.
Okay, here we go. Here we go.
I assume they don’t have a countdown clock
in most torture chambers.
Probably not.
Oh, I’m so sorry.
Uh oh.
Oh no, no, no, no, no.
All right.
Uh-oh.
Brandon, what the fuck is that?
Areola Grande.
You’ve all been very funny.
This is not something I wanted to have to do,
but we are down to the one hour mark.
Colin, you took Debra and Jon out.
Tom, you took out Dave, Mae and Trevor.
So, you are the final two.
Brandon and Andrew, I am so sorry,
you were great but your time is up.
Unfortunately, you will have to come back
to the lodge with me and the other resentful comics.
Aww.
Tom and Colin, good luck!
Oh.
None of you could break me, remember that.
Give me love. Bye, Colin.
You were a warrior, man. It’s not fair.
I was disappointed, like I really wanted
to take home money for my charity.
But at the end of the day,
to go toe to toe with the great ones,
it did feel like a career highlight to me. It was awesome.
Unbreakable, though.
Oh, oh.
Unbreakable!
You almost got me, though.
- In the bathroom! - You almost fucking got me.
Aww, I knew it.
I was a little bummed...
..and then when I got to the lodge.
I was like, oh, this is nice.
I wish I got eliminated way earlier.
Here’s the thing. If it was just me laughing, we’d be good.
Yeah. Yeah.
Because you guys made me laugh in here, in a big way.
It’s lights out for Brandon and Andrew
so it comes down to the final two:
Colin Mochrie versus Tom Green.
Both these comedy icons have yellow cards
so whoever breaks next, loses.
Whoever holds on wins 100K for their charity.
Place your bets... babies!
Oh shit. It’s sudden death here.
This is an epic battle of two icons.
Tom Green and Colin Mochrie.
Canadian legends who are known
for keeping a straight face in the midst of insanity.
This could go either way.
Ready?
- Okay, here we go. - Here we go.
This is it. The final two!
I respect and love as a person...
and a performer.
Oh thank you, thank you. Okay.
Next one who laughs... loses.
I’m a little nervous about this because there was
several times today, I nearly lost it
with some of your outrageous physical thrusting antics.
I know, but I can’t just go over there
and start thrusting at the table.
I’m so bruised down there, I’m worried what’ll happen.
I made it to the end...
The slapstick showdown with Colin Mochrie and myself.
A showdown!
At comedy corral.
Last One Laughing.
Loses.
Wins! I know the concept of the game.
I’ve only had one glass, are you gonna have another glass?
- I’ll have another glass. - Okay.
Because at this point, I don’t, I truly don’t care...
Yeah, at this point, let’s just...
I’m just enjoying your company.
We started off with ten people and now it’s just me and Tom.
I love Tom, he’s very funny.
He’s gonna be very difficult to beat
because he’s truly unpredictable.
- Good luck to you, my dear. - Cheers, my friend, cheers.
One of them is gonna get a hundred thousand
for their charity.
Colin’s charity is the, uh, "Stop the Steal" fund
for Donald Trump.
Oh, someone’s at the door.
Oh. Oh my gosh, really?
We’ve got more special guests, do we?
It’s Al Waxman back from the dead.
- Okay. - Oh, hello.
From Schitt’s Creek.
Ah, that is Karen Robinson from Schitt’s Creek.
- Hello. - Hello.
My name is Karen Robinson.
Hello, Karen.
And I am one of the Amazon Executives for this show.
Are we fired?
Wait for it.
I wanna congratulate both of you
on being our final two comedians.
Clap yourselves!
Thank you.
Clap yourselves!
Clapping.
Okay, stop.
Now, those other people back there, bless their hearts,
they got their sorry asses kicked off this show.
Rude.
But they are the foundation for your success.
Absolutely.
So we thank them. We thank them for their effort.
It’s about fucking time.
And we thank them for their failure.
Yeah.
- Mmm. - Okay.
We should take a look.
Aww, it’s the In Memoriam.
Yeah.
Oh God.
Please stop now.
The “In Memoriam”, every year...
I’m always so delighted to not be on it.
Now I’ve actually experienced it.
This is awful.
Aww.
Yes. Yes, that’s... I want my memory to be that.
A lovely montage, a lovely tribute.
Woo.
Those were good times, you guys.
Those were really good times.
A really good time.
Does anyone know what year it is back on earth?
Good luck to both of you.
- Thank you. - Aww.
I’m gonna go, goodbye.
- Yeah. Okay. - Thank you so much.
So great seeing ya.
It was pretty cool to see...
an Executive from Amazon.
Oh, she’s not!
Wasn’t Jeff Bezos, I know that.
Should we have a shot of scotch?
Um, alright, I will have scotch
even though I’m not a scotch drinker.
Uh-oh.
Oh my God, Colin!
I know it was a risk but um, maybe Colin might
let his guard down a little bit there.
Okay.
Colin, hey? What do you say we go have a scotch there, eh?
Let’s get ’er done.
Let’s get ’er done there, eh, bud?
- Cheers, sir. - Oh Jesus.
Oh.
That’s a big dram of scotch.
That’s too much for a shot.
Yeah, they’re gonna be shittered.
- Cheers to everyone watching... - Cheers to everyone.
Around the world.
Oh God. God, God, God, God. Oh Jesus.
Oh! There he goes.
Oh boy.
That’s nice. That is nice.
Ho!
Yeah. No.
- That is nice. - It... yep.
Do we wanna have another shot?
Or do we wanna go out like that?
- Oh my God, alright! - Yeah.
I think that Tom has made a genius move with the scotch.
To loosen up Colin?
Well, he knows Colin doesn’t really drink,
he might have lost his edge a little bit.
Yeah.
That’s a good fucking point.
I’m so glad I didn’t drive here.
Yeah.
They’re gonna fucking ralph.
Yeah, Colin might ralph.
Oh, fuck, Colin.
That one went down smooth, eh?
The whisky...
could be a mistake.
I was quite light headed.
I was still trying to focus on the thing
and also making sure I wasn’t slurring.
We have to remember I’m a role model to young people.
Uh-huh.
And can I just say
how difficult it was to say the words “role model”.
Oh yeah. We’re wasted.
Yeah, but you know what, we’re having fun.
Yes.
I’ve really not had a craving for alcohol in six years...
until today.
Now, I’m guessing at some point,
they’re gonna make us do something.
Right.
That will make us laugh. Good luck to you, my friend.
Cheers, my friend. Cheers.
Or maybe they just won’t do anything?
Oh, they don’t fucking think we’re gonna do anything, eh?
Trevor and Caroline, get in there and fucking mix it up.
- Okay. - Alright, good luck.
Perhaps the gag is, it never ends.
So it’s like Groundhog Day.
Uh huh.
It just keeps happening over and over again
but no Andie MacDowell, it’s us.
Hello?
Hello? Um, so, have you ever been at a concert
trying to have a conversation...
and then right when the music stops
you realise you just shouted out something really embarrassing?
Well, that’s the gist of this next bit
called Concert Talkers.
I can hear the sound coming...
- Oh I see, oh okay! - There we go.
Oh look.
Hey, hello you two.
I guess we’re not explaining the rules of the game,
we’re just talking and wait for them to cut it out
and say something really loud.
He says they were penis moles, is that a thing?
And then I put my balls in a laminator.
I’m not in the game, I can laugh.
Ha ha!
Caroline and Trevor,
they’d come out to make us laugh.
But Caroline was the first one to go.
Why’d they send you?
It’s like sending David’s brother against Goliath.
She won’t watch this, will she?
I would have sex with Tom Green
and I didn’t think I’d say that before.
Ah!
I like that.
Yes, they are real.
He’s teetering.
I have really bad hemorrhoids.
This did not work like we thought
it was going to backstage.
I gotta say you lasted longer
than you did in the original part.
You know what?
I do hope Tom wins.
Ooh, hee hee hee!
Alright guys, no takers. This bit’s over.
Oh, bye.
My foot!
I crossed my leg.
Ah heavens.
I don’t know why I think hurting myself will get a laugh.
Uh, give it a try.
- That’s never not funny. - Yeah.
No.
That’s a nice wedding ring you have there.
Yeah, I just realised that’s going to leave a big mark.
I had a wedding ring once too, it left a mark as well.
Are we getting into some kind of territory we shouldn’t?
- Probably. - Alright.
This is really tricky.
My natural instinct is to laugh at
every single thing that comes
out of your mouth, sir, because...
Yeah.
I just like, I honestly, uh, you know, uh, uh...
So why are you fighting it?
Wouldn’t you feel better if you just laughed?
You could hang out with those guys out there.
Oh no!
Oh my God.
This is when he does his thing.
You could have a couple of drinks, have some laughs,
have some fun.
You can forget about all the pressures that’s happening.
- Oh. - Uh oh. Don’t do it Tom!
- Oh yeah, I see a smirk. - Hold on.
Trevor will give you a nice little neck massage.
Mmm-hmm.
Mae will give you a delicious cheese sandwich.
Oh.
Brandon will moisturize you.
Oh, I mean I’m down.
I’m down.
Aww, Tom is on the edge.
Yes, he is. He’s on the fucking cliff.
Hey! Do you wanna see my 64-year-old toddler?
Tom!
Oh my gosh.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
I’m not gonna cheat by diverting my gaze. Okay?
Tom needs to now go on the offensive,
he’s, like, receiving it.
Yeah, yeah.
How bout you teach me the 64-year-old toddler.
Okay. What do I do here?
Lean kinda forward so your, um, weight is in,
because, you know, toddlers they don’t really have their...
yeah, that’s it.
And then you, at some point you just pick up speed.
This is the most amazing thing.
This is fucking insane.
The 64-year-old toddler.
Okay. You gotta have the hands a little more...
I’m watching Colin Mochrie teach physical comedy to Tom Green.
It’s pretty cool.
Some joy, through the eyes. Like wonder.
Joy and wonder.
Tom Green and Colin Mochrie
pushing back and forth at each other.
It’s like fencing with comedy.
Okay. Come.
That’s something you would pay a lot of money to see.
Like I would just throw cash at that.
We need another shot.
Do you want some cheese?
Uh, yes please. Thank you very much.
You’re welcome.
Absolutely. Are we going to eat cheese now?
- What the hell? - Absolutely.
Alright, let’s make things difficult
for these old drunkards.
I like where this is going.
Alright guys, it’s me Jay Baruchel.
You might know me from some bank commercials...
- Oh yeah. - A few years back.
So the time has come to dance.
Fuck.
Dance until the music stops.
- Dance? - You get the gist of it.
Slow dance together. Come on.
I think they want us to do a slow dance.
This is true love.
We finally found what makes Brandon laugh.
Oh my God.
You’re a very gentle dancer.
Our breathing became like one,
we sort of calmed each other down.
Okay, it’s getting weird now, but it was a nice moment.
- Grab his ass! - Grab his ass!
- Grab his ass. - Tom!
I’m thinking if I lower my hand
a little on to the buttock region,
maybe that will get a laugh.
Uh-oh!
But I didn’t feel like I had the right to
place my hand upon his supple buttocks.
This is beautiful.
This is a really nice way to end.
It actually really is.
What is that move?
I like it.
Please let them stop now.
Tell me you guys are getting this
in two hundred frames per second.
So good.
I could watch Colin and Tom for about ten more hours.
That was beautiful.
- It was beautiful. - It was beautiful.
I think it told a story.
I’ve thought about that. What happened there with you.
Oh!
Some people wish for yachts or private jets,
I wish for a romantic dance with one of my comedy heroes.
- Thank you, sir. - Thank you.
Yeah.
That wasn’t unearnest either, like.
- No, it was beautiful. - Lovely.
It felt sincere.
Sometimes the final is, like, as marquee
as you’d hope it would be.
Colin Mochrie and Tom Green,
each of whom are masters at what they do.
Getting to watch them go against one another:
dream come true.
Such, uh, an honour to be here today.
I think it’s worked out beautifully.
Well, I guess we gotta have another shot.
This is a fun way to end it though, right?
I love you.
Uh... I love you, too.
Colin, thank you.
Thank you.
That is some good scotch.
Some Bancroft moonshine right there.
Uh, I should have held in that pee.
Alright guys...
ten minutes left.
Oh my God.
You’re watching two legendary comedians
from two different places.
Colin is the improv master
and then Tom Green is like
the first word of mouth celebrity
in the history of the world.
And watching these two guys
trying to crack each other...
It is worth the price of admission for that alone.
You do impressions?
- Oh! - Have you done impressions?
I only have this one.
- Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait. - Alright.
Let me just mentally prepare for this.
- Right. - Okay, wait.
Ready?
I... well... okay. Go.
"Hi, I’m Craig T. Nelson."
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
He almost laughed.
I want to end this before the time is out, obviously.
So, I’m trying to formulate through
my already muddled brain some way to attack.
I also do this:
"I’m Peter Graves. Next on Biography"...
Hmmm.
Colin’s hitting a nerve here.
I, I, I think, I did Mr. Potter too.
Mr. Potter?
From, eh, "It’s a Wonderful Life."
Oh, yes.
Lionel Barrymore was underrated.
Wait a minute, that’s not fair.
Wooo.
What happened?
He just said Lionel Barrymore.
Oh!
Lionel Barrymore was one of the famous Barrymore,
um, family,
and one of their relatives of course
is the lovely Drew Barrymore, who Tom
was married to at one point.
You’re trying to pull the emotional...
"I know you think I’m a bitter old man, George Bailey."
Tom’s like, huh...
Huh.
And it was the first time we’ve seen that from Tom
basically the whole game.
"I know exactly what you’re doing, George Bailey."
Finish him.
Finish him. Take him down.
Finish him.
Off with his head.
"You think I’m a bitter old man George Bailey."
He’s on the ropes.
Oh God, oh God.
"When I’m masturbating I think about you with your poor..."
Oh, he got him! He got him!
Oh!
I’m so pissed, I could not have done anymore.
Oh!
Really? Lionel Barrymore got you?
Ah. You know, it was just funny, you know.
He did an impression of Lionel Barrymore
and I think maybe the personal,
sort of, nature of that shifted me a little off guard.
He just got me, man. He just got me.
God bless you, sir.
- Yeah. I love you man. - It was so much fun.
- Yeah. - It was so much fun.
Absolutely. Thank you, thank you.
Thank you.
Oh my God, Colin.
He knew he was gonna take us all down.
Cheers, cheers, cheers. That was fun.
I’m letting it all out now,
it’s been like six hours of holding it all in.
I know. I know. Oh, it was so hard.
Humping tables at 64-years-old on national television.
Yeah.
You know what I, I, I aspire to that.
I just made you laugh. That’s cool.
It’s so easy to do.
You know the game’s over I know
but I do appreciate that I made you laugh.
Here we go, come on!
Hey!
Oh!
- Hey! - Oh my God.
You did it!
You know, I, I, I...
just felt good to know that I made it to the end.
I really enjoyed the showdown with Colin and myself.
I was happy that that’s how it went down.
Thank you. Thank you.
Ladies and Gentleman, the first winner!
Oh jeez! Really?
The inaugural champion of LOL Canada!
We present this to you.
Thank you so much.
Jesus Christ!
What the hell!
That was the scariest thing that’s ever happened to me.
You funny motherfucker.
Oh. You bitch.
Colin, can you tell us what charity you’re playing for?
I’m playing for the Welcome Friend Association Rainbow Camp.
It’s a camp for LGBTQ+ people.
Giving them a safe place to have a lovely summer experience.
Yay!
Alright, alright.
Being with these people just reminds you
how incredible the Canadian talent pool is.
So go out there and support your
local comedy club because we all
need a laugh.
Colin Mochrie, you are The Last One Laughing.
♪♪
Caroline! Caroline!
Wake up and go home!