No!
Here we go. This is a big 'un!
This is a big 'un!
Here we go.
- Hi, everybody. - Oh, Christ!
Let's see who is out of here.
I should go because I look horrendous.
- I'm so sorry. - I guess I just got overexcited.
You're out of here, but... but, Catherine, the good news is
you won't be walking out of here alone.
- Yay! - No.
Here we go.
It's definitely me.
It must be me.
Oh, no!
Oh, but that was a fake smile.
- That's a smile. It's a smile. - Wow.
I'm absolutely fantastic at robot dancing.
Some people have asked me whether I might actually be AI
and not a real person because I'm that good at it.
We're out of here.
I like the way you're just like packing up.
I'm taking my bowl of wool.
Look at the length of the fucking thing she's had to do.
So, remember, this game is about not laughing,
but it's also about making people laugh.
Yes.
We are now in the final hour, okay?
So in the next 30 minutes,
anyone who hasn't made someone laugh,
throughout the whole thing, then that is it.
You are getting the boot.
Okay? Message understood?
- Yes. - Yeah, yeah. I understood that.
This is going to be kind of insane,
but I look forward to watching it, so got to make someone laugh.
Ladies, if you want to say goodbye,
I'll see you next door with all your stolen goods.
I do realise I did a big guffaw laugh two minutes into the show,
so I always felt like I was on borrowed time, in a sense.
So, it was my time to leave.
- Bye, everybody. - Bye, everybody!
- See yous! - Have fun!
- Have fun, have fun, all of you. - Bye!
They're saying goodbye to the girls.
A double red card sees Aisling and Catherine
ride arm in arm off into the sunset,
our very own Thelma and Louise.
We're not bitter, we're better.
We're better. That was wrong.
- You were robbed. - I was robbed.
- Yay! - Good game.
Whoo-whoo! Whoo-whoo! Legends. Legends.
Come in and sit down.
It looks nice in here.
- We missed you. - We missed you. Hi!
Jesus Christ. I'm not joking, I've had it.
That is so impressive.
I swear to God.
The knitting was put there as a nod
to our ancestors, who would've knit back in the day
before women were allowed out of the house.
Tony, will you make myself and Catherine a drink?
Prosecco?
Wow.
And then there were five.
Deirdre and Jason have their noses in front,
having caused the most laughs,
while David, Martin and Paul are yet to land their first laugh,
and have just 30 minutes to get one or they're out.
Catherine, would you like to do the honours?
- It would give me so much pleasure. - There you go.
Oh, she did it. Okay, we're back in.
This is it. Thirty minutes to make someone laugh.
Okay, here we go, babes.
- We're in. We're in. - The end.
- Check it out. Check it out. Check it out. - To the death!
Heehaw, heehaw!
Here, you gouger!
Wow. Dermot the donkey.
I couldn't. I couldn't look at him.
Not long left, so get up off your holes and do something.
Where are you going?
Going do me thing now. I've got to do a thing.
A lot of pressure. It was a bit like,
you have to go on the attack, you have to do something now.
What can you do?
Fuck's sake.
When the 30-minute warning came up, I thought,
okay, I'm just going to try and hit whoever I can,
just hope something lands.
He was trying to have a drink, and he just spilled it all.
Oh.
I have a really bad aim.
Do you know my libido? I'm 57.
My libido is like, compared to a dog,
when I was young, it was like, "Rrr!"
Now my libido is like, "Hah!"
Dave McSavage!
He's just going for it now.
When I ejaculate now as a 57-year-old man,
it's just a little droplet.
It's almost like my cock is crying for the cock it used to be.
So, I'm behind the curtains, getting ready for me stage performance,
and it felt like I was going in for a vasectomy or something,
and I was trying to manoeuvre me jocks.
I went, "Look, just go for it. Just jump off the ramp and get into the sea."
Oh! Here we go.
That's his arse!
- Jason Byrne. - That's his arse.
Oh, my God!
Welcome to Crack TV.
That is Jason's arse.
Here is a few things I do not like.
That is his arse crack.
I'll just have a little think first.
Oh, that's bad.
Oh, wow.
- Oh, Deirdre's so close to going. - Oh, Deirdre. Deirdre's going.
But what I do like...
Ooh!
That is funny.
Ooh!
Christ.
I'm not a big fan of this.
Jason's little bum!
Oh, my God!
I'm not a huge fan.
I mean, fair play, Jay.
Oh, here's another thing.
I don't think this goes in here.
No, you wouldn't like that.
Yes. Does this...
Ooh! Huh-uh!
Do you think he drew the eyes on himself?
How do you get that... Yeah, you could. You could.
I certainly don't mind a little bit of that.
I've actually fallen in love with Jason Byrne doing this.
Me, too. Me, too.
His bum was so lovely
and exactly the sort of bum
you'd expect from a tall, red-haired Irish man.
- He's working his arse off there now. - Yeah.
That was tough. Yeah.
Okay. Goodbye. Thank you!
Come on now. Jesus. Well done.
That's was...
- Now that's a show. - I mean, that's commitment.
That was some craic.
Oh, my God.
I'm never going to work again.
Jason speaks that direct language of comedy.
Well done. That was fucking great.
I wanted to laugh so badly. I just couldn't.
It's just boom! No setup, no nothing. Foof!
Woof, woof! Nice arse, Jason.
Oh, my God.
I'm not hearing anyone laughing, you miserable pile of shites.
Well, no one has cracked yet, so we're going to send in a visitor.
They're getting a visitor now.
Who's the visitor?
I think the group might be in need of a therapy session.
Ooh, who is it?
Let's see if this can make them laugh.
Some of them know him really well.
Oh, my God!
- Oh, look who it is. - Oh, Jesus Christ!
- Bernard... - Bernard O'Shea.
Bernard O'Shea!
Let's see what Bernard can do in the time we have left.
David, how are you?
We don't like each other, Bernard. Let's be honest.
It's gonna get dark.
Can we not have any trauma in here right now?
I think I was quite confused at that point.
A little bit burnt out, so I had a weird reaction to Bernard.
- David. - It's okay. It's okay.
David. David, can I just say something to you?
No.
We're all going, "What's going on?"
Two men having a breakdown.
David, I don't have much time, in terms of this, not to live or anything.
Oh, my God! Look at Deirdre. She's gonna crack.
I don't really know what the tension was, but I thought,
"Oh, you're doing it now. You're going to get into that now. Right."
- But I'll just say, David, I love you. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It literally was like a scene from the Banshee of Inisher-mish-mish.
Me being the Colin Farrell character
and him being the Brendan Gleason character.
David...
Keep it at arm's length. Arm's length. Arm's length.
I don't have much time.
If he'd given me three of his fingers, it would've just topped off the scene.
Come on. Come on. Everybody, I want you to sit around here.
I don't have much time. Okay? Okay.
I missed the girls at that point.
Do you know what? This is about love and respect,
and I love everyone here, and I know we love each other.
- There you go. - Jason, please.
- Cop on! - Go ahead.
Sorry, I didn't mean that. I didn't mean that.
- It's all right. - Right, so, what we'll do is now...
I'm going to go round and give you a little mantra.
I've had a mantra before. Have you had a mantra?
So I'm going to whisper it gently into your ear.
Now, David, this is your mantra. Are you ready?
It's all right.
Go on. Just whisper the fucking thing. Go on, go on, go on.
It's all a bit real now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Does the monkey smoke?
Oh yeah, I got it. Yeah, yeah.
Okay. This is your mantra.
Okay? Okay. Thank you.
So, we're getting close now. Time is nearly up.
Now, Dee, Dee, let it out. Let's hear it.
I'm dying to let it out now, to be honest with you.
Oh, Pádraig!
Where did that come from, Dee? Because I felt that off you.
- Oh, Pádraig! - It was deep, from a deep place.
Bernard was in a mad zone.
So maybe look at Dave and pretend Dave is Pádraig. Right?
So off with the glasses and just... off the glasses.
Sorry, sorry.
- Well, I just need a moment. Okay? - Yeah, so just...
It's not easy, Bernard. They're not laughing.
I had to lean into it a bit.
I don't know what noise I made. It was guttural.
- Oh, Pádraig! - Yeah. Lovely.
Now, Dave, can you say back to Deirdre your mantra, please?
Does the monkey smoke?
That's it. That 30 minutes is up.
30 minutes. 30 minutes. Who's laughing?
- Maybe me. - Was it me doing this? Is that laughing?
I don't know what's happening.
This is going to be a bloodbath. A bloodbath.
Yeah. Order more ice. Order my ice. We need more drinks.
We need more drinks. Here we go.
All right, that is your 30 minutes.
- The 30 minutes is up, okay? - Oh, God. Oh, my God.
So clearly you've all done very well in the not-laughing stakes,
but two of you have done better
in the making people laugh stakes than the others.
Okay, so I can tell you
the two comics going on
to the final of Last One Laughing are...
- Jason! - Who is it?
Deirdre O'Kane.
- Whoa. - Excellent.
- And Jason Byrne! - Oh, what?!
Oh, great!
So, David, Martin and Paul, say your goodbyes,
and we'll see you next door.
Oh, I've ordered more ice.
It's a weird dream that just happened.
Jason and Deirdre worked so hard and they really deserve to be in the final.
Well done!
You know when you've had a near-death experience,
afterwards you just think, "Ah, it's just great to be alive."
That's how I felt afterwards.
Didn't really know what I was doing.
It was like we were all playing a game of chess,
but I was playing darts.
- Well done, boys. - Good luck.
And then will you walk in some sort of cool way? Bye!
- Well done, lads. - Well done, gents.
So Martin, Paul and David got within touching distance
of our grand final, but try as they might,
they didn't cause any laughs, so they are out of there.
And this is it.
After landing two laughs each,
two of the best comedians in Ireland,
Deirdre O'Kane and Jason Byrne, are going head-to-head.
- Come on! - Here we go.
- Well done, Deirdre. - Well done us, Jay.
- I mean, that's a great achievement. - Well done us.
The doors closed, and it's just me and Deirdre just going, "Oh, my God."
All right, this is it.
Let's see if we can crown ourselves a winner.
Here we go. We're in play, we're in play.
The final 30 minutes.
One more laugh and they are out.
I was on the attack,
so I just started messing with those bean bags.
Jesus Christ, Jay. I mean, you're still going.
Sort of respect, sort of pity from Deirdre.
"Look at you, still going."
He can just go. He can go forever.
Oh, my God!
I'd say he went home and annoyed some people at home.
Jesus, the fucking state of the gaff.
And you know I'm going to go flying on my arse now.
- Her voice makes me laugh. - Yeah, me too.
Just her voice alone makes me laugh.
If you come forward...
He doesn't have a plan before he does it. That's what's key.
I'm make you a margarita.
Deirdre doesn't giggle loads.
I think that'll stand to her.
I think her body won't sort of surprise her with a laugh.
Jason was, like, birthed in a circus.
Like, his bones were made from balloon animals.
Now, it doesn't matter if you don't want a margarita,
I'll show you how to make one.
It's very good in the snow.
Bit of ice.
You're a fucking messer, do you know that?
The reality of being left with Jason sank in.
Happy Christmas!
- Happy Christmas, Jay. - Happy Christmas, everybody!
Funny, that's funny.
Fucking state of you.
It's winter, Deirdre.
When I put the beanbag on my head,
I burst it and then it all went down under my glasses,
started to fill my glasses up with white snow...
and then I start to suffocate.
I just wanted to laugh.
I really just wanted to bloody laugh so badly.
What are you making?
Margaritas.
Well done, Deirdre, huh?
Well, there's a margarita to be made.
That'll focus the mind.
This is the nicest bit of a margarita, right?
Okay.
It's the rim, the rimming. Have you ever done any rimming?
What?
Jason went mad and I thought, okay...
What am I going to do?
I've got to match him somehow.
And all I had was the rimming.
Have you ever done any rimming?
No.
Are you sure?
- Yeah. - Oh, Deirdre.
Come on, Dee.
Not bad. Come on, Deirdre.
Sexy word play versus a snowy hedgehog.
Just a small one now. You've fucking...
Just a bit more.
Jay!
He's a killer, that Jason.
Oh, Jay is an assassin, an assassin.
I can't really taste the alcohol in that.
I'll say this. You look fucking amazing.
I can't taste the alcohol.
It's kind of two masters, isn't it?
Yeah, two masters. You're dead right.
Oh, they're both doing comedy drinking.
Come on, Deirdre, don't let him win!
That was a great squirt from you, Jay. I've definitely lost my touch.
Mother of God. That was... She nearly got me on that one.
Okay, Deirdre.
Deirdre O'Kane has the most control over her face than anyone ever.
Her cheeks must have been exhausted.
They were so tight like granite.
I think Deirdre kind of just turned into Jason's carer by the end,
and then the carer kind of got fed up and went, "I'm going to have a drink."
Oh, my God. Look what you fucking did. Look at the state of that.
Oh, yeah, sorry.
Hello, Last One Laughing Ireland finalists.
Hello.
We've noticed it's quite a mess in there,
so we're just going to send someone in to spruce it up a bit.
- Oh, Christ. - This is a good game. This is a good game.
- Oh, it's Shane! - Shane! Holy shit!
- Come in. - Come in.
Good evening, good evening.
Oh! Oh.
It's relentless. I just don't know what to expect.
So good of you to come along. As you know, my name's Davy Tavrin.
Davy Tavrin.
I'm here to run the creative arts for the over-fifties.
Yeah!
That's us, all right. Yeah.
I love what you've done with the place already.
Bit of a winter wonderland, isn't it?
- It is a bit. - Would you mind grabbing that one?
Shane Daniel Byrne is one of the best comedians.
Oh, my God, I would've broken.
You might set that drink down, Deirdre, if you don't mind, sweetie.
- Jesus, just stop drinking, Deirdre. - Set the drink down.
So reluctant.
Deirdre was lamping the margaritas into her at this stage.
You're no stranger to this, I'm sure.
Yeah, I'm okay with that.
So, get into the big hoop,
and the idea is we're doing a class called 'Twerk of Art'.
- So, you want this coming right out. - Oh, God.
Where you might do number two.
Oh, lovely.
So, get in the big hoop.
I love this now. This is right up my street.
For Jason, strapping a paintbrush
to your arse, that's something he'd love.
Right. Let's have a look at you.
Okay. Actually quite amazingly perfect.
Yeah, take off the jacket, make yourself comfortable.
Is it a hot flush?
- It might be. - The fucking neck!
Did you hear what he said?
If this show wasn't happening, Jason would still be doing this.
- So we're going to dip it low... - I'm angry now.
Into the paint, and then we're making a twerk of art.
Then we pick it right back up, pick it up slow,
and then we're going to just twerk on.
And it's a portrait of each other.
Something to remember the day.
Okay, let's have a go. Let's have a whirl. Give it a whirl.
Here we go.
They're going to make you look like an eejit now.
It doesn't look anything like him, but this is conceptual.
That's okay.
It's about expressing yourself, isn't it, Deirdre?
- Oh, yeah. - Let's twerk it out.
Let's get those hips moving.
Very important in the over-fifties.
Let's get going.
Let's really stretch it out, work it out.
Up and down.
He has those stents working overtime. Let's go, let's go.
That squatting, that was the most physical thing I'd done all day.
We could have laughed in pain.
And as you go for the last few strokes, let's really find each other's gaze.
Let's focus in on each other. Hold the gaze.
And twerk it out.
It's the subtle shit that can get you laughing.
Twerking!
Oh, that must be so hard to just look at each other's eyes. That's horrible.
Oh, my God.
That's such an insane thing to ask them to do when they're so tired.
That's brilliant.
Okay, eyes and a mouth.
Does it look like Deirdre yet?
I'm not sure Jason's taking this seriously.
Let's have a look. Let's have an exhibition.
Deirdre O'Kane.
It's the fucking spit of you.
Look at the ginger head, and you're lying down having a little rest.
I see it. I see it. And the red coming through. Yeah.
Is there any more like people our age coming?
A lot of them have died. Yes, a lot of them have died.
I'm fighting for funding, to be honest.
Jesus, we used to run to this.
Jason, are you all right?
Yeah, I think we're okay now. Yeah.
Well done on your artistic endeavours.
If you and Deirdre could go into the locker room for a minute, that'd be great.
Okay. I hope you're all enjoying yourselves in there.
Oh, we're loving it, aren't you?
- Oh, we're having a good time. - Yeah, yeah!
Arseholes.
Dee, we have to go into the locker room.
Oh, it must be such a mind fuck being in there right now.
- Oh, yeah. - Just each other.
It's like being trapped in a lift.
Oh, this is ridiculous.
- Yeah. - Oh, mother of God.
Trying to hold in laughter is a killer.
It's really, really painful.
What did you do with the bean bag?
It just burst. It was like a snowman coming on me.
You must not laugh, Dee.
- Hey, Deirdre. Hello, Jason. - Hi, Graham.
Well done for getting this far.
Yeah, I'm actually on the telly. Yeah. Everyone's delighted for you.
Everyone's delighted for you. Listen, you've both done so well.
Okay? There's nothing between you.
So, in order to try and crown a winner,
we have wheeled out the big guns.
So, if you want to go back into the main room for the final push.
Good luck both of you.
Here we go!
Jason, Deirdre!
Oh, fuck it. Not the lads.
- Oh, shit! - Come closer.
The Den is back!
I've seen bits of you that I've never seen before.
- Oh, yeah. I do apologise. - Yeah.
This isn't helping down here, by the way.
Now before we start, before we start, okay.
Oh no, Dustin's there as well.
Dustin will make them crack.
I had huge fear of Zig and Zag and Dustin
because I just thought, "Well, here comes a roast now."
We're going to decide the final with a staring competition,
but a staring competition with a difference.
Okay.
Normally, it would be the first person to blink would lose.
Yes, that's true.
On this occasion, it's the first one to laugh.
The first one to laugh...
Will lose.
- This is like penalties, isn't it? - Yes.
They haven't got any eyelids, so that's not fair.
How dare you? How dare you?
If you've got ping-pong balls for eyes, I really feel that's cheating.
So hang on, who are we staring at?
You're staring at Zig. You're staying at Zag.
You have to look him in the eye.
Look me in the eye.
Right down the barrel.
I'm not gonna lie to you, I'm hammered now.
Whoever doesn't laugh wins 50,000 euro for their chosen charity.
Who's gonna win?
- Jason. - I'd say Deirdre.
- Our commentator is Dustin. - Oh, Christ.
The excitement is unreal.
This is not good. They're lethal together.
Okay, here we go, here we go.
God love Ray D'Arcy, trying to corral this.
Just 90 seconds of gameplay to go.
And we're off. Yes, welcome along to the LOL Ireland stakes.
This is amazing. Six episodes, and these two people have not cracked a smile.
It's like being at a Tony Cantwell gig.
And it all boils down to this, two washed-up comedians
who are facing two muppets.
That's not Zig or Zag, that's Jason and Dee.
I love you, Deirdre, but come on, Jay.
Look at the mouth moving. Like, I would go for that.
I had Zig, and he just kept going...
And I was going, "Oh Jesus, I'm going to go."
Yes, there's a lot of money at stake here.
Deirdre O'Kane, you've been absolutely fantastic tonight.
Some of your jokes have been brilliant.
Do them on stage, you might even get a few laughs.
Oh, my God! Deirdre, don't let him win.
Jason, you're the biggest-selling comic in the history of Edinburgh.
How did you do that?
Maybe the Scots drink as much as Deirdre O'Kane.
Jay is not gonna break.
Yes, it's LOL Ireland, and we've got 30 seconds left.
These two have come a long way. It's two warriors.
It's like the Grand National, the Olympics, the World Cup,
the Monaco Grand Prix all blended into one.
But look at Jason Byrne's face.
He's not going to crack, or is he?
And look at Deirdre O'Kane. She's absolutely brilliant.
Chat show host, comedian, actress,
she's got it all in her bag, along with a lot of Botox.
Oh, she's cracked!
She's gone!
We have a laugh!
And that means we have a winner.
I was milliseconds from losing this game loads.
Jason is the winner!
Jason Byrne!
Love you, Deirdre. Love you.
You know I love you. No tongues.
I actually thought they're not gonna get me,
and then just that one word.
Come on, everybody, congratulate our winner.
One person was the last one laughing.
Congratulations to Jason Byrne!
You get that beautiful understated trophy.
Well done that man. Well done that man.
Last One Laughing Ireland. The first-ever winner of Last One Laughing Ireland.
And congratulations to Deirdre O'Kane, so close.
She is a comedy hero of mine. I bloody love her.
Yes, Jason. Well done, congratulations.
Fantastic. Fantastic. Well done.
Wow. That's a lot of confetti.
They've really gone all out on the confetti. Yeah.
Jason used everything that was in there, he played a good game.
Dustin, man, you should have been in here the whole time.
You guys were amazing.
I thought the new guy was good. Your man, Graham Norton.
He's got a career. Trust me.
You were like me comedy wife in here.
Jason and I had an accidental alliance.
We were, I think, both born on the same bouncing castle.
He's a very special comedian. I'm delighted that was captured.
Come on, now, don't... can we laugh now?
I've done two Royal Variety Shows and stuff.
Gigged over Australia, gigged in Jakarta, gigged everywhere.
And I can tell you without a doubt, this is the biggest pile of shite
I've ever done in me life.
Sorry.