[Brad] Poker players rarely remember their big wins.
But we remember every detail of our biggest losses.
And this was by far my biggest and most humiliating.
I didn't just lose. I lost to a sucker. A fish.
- Who's the fish now? Yeah! - [players cheer]
I got beat by a joker.
Let's replay the hand, shall we?
[sighs]
It all started when the worst thing happened.
A creative got an idea.
Brad, I've got my next game.
Go.
- Come on. Come on, come on. - What?
Listen to me, listen to me.
- If you talk about a new game... - [stammers, sighs]
...MQ owns it. If you even think about it, they own it.
Please. They can't own what's in my head. [chuckles]
- Can they? - In short, yes. In long, also yes.
- [Brad] Dana was upset that Yara's game... - Okay,
- this is ridiculous. - ...overtook Cozy Galaxy as number one.
I can't believe I got no-scoped by a teenager.
[Brad] Getting Dana out of her deal fast became my focus.
Problem was David held the purse strings, and he was clutching his purse tightly.
Leaving early to beat traffic. Home poker game.
Luck be a lady tonight!
[Brad] Poker was perfect.
I just needed to devise a plan to be invited.
It was gonna take some time, but I was willing to put in the...
You should play in my game sometime.
[Brad] Okay. It was easier than I thought.
You just learning to play?
- David was a natural born mark... - Yeah. [speaks indistinctly]
...or as us poker players call it, a fish.
All right. Yeah, I'm up for the challenge.
Okay. Warning you though. You're what we call a fish.
[Brad] I was in.
My plan was to get David to play me heads-up for Dana's contract.
- But there was a problem. - Fold.
Even when he had the best hand, the nuts,
- he didn't have the nuts. - I fold.
Fold. [sighs]
Fold like a Democrat. [chuckles]
Cerritos is a very Republican area. FYI.
[Brad] I needed to loosen up his playing style
so he would bet a contract.
I had to bring in a whale.
A reckless player who splashes around money
to overcompensate for...
Size does matter,
but it's really the diamonds that make it a timepiece.
Huh.
[Brad] Ian's wallet was bulging...
and so was his partner.
Hey, Ian, stop showing off your sparkly bracelet
and let's get to work.
[Brad] Poppy was super preggo.
She and Ian had been working around the clock
to deliver the expansion before she delivered that baby.
She had lost her taste for candy.
Instead, she was eating cabbage while Ian was spending it.
- They were inseparable... - [Ian] Cabbage fight!
- ... and insufferable. - [Poppy] I'll cabbage you!
But I had a plan to get Ian to David's game.
Host a baby shower for Poppy? No, that's never gonna happen.
- Jo enthusiastically refused... - I don't even like Poppy.
- ...until I said... - It would help your boss Dana.
On it.
Attention, employees. It is 6:01 p.m.
The workday is officially over and the baby shower is about to begin.
All men must leave the premises immediately. Women only.
Uh, what about me? I'm Poppy's partner.
Only partners allowed are lesbian.
Hey, you could join me and B-man at my home poker game tonight?
- You're going? - Mm-hmm. Come on,
you've been working like crazy. You could use a break.
Yeah. And, uh, Jo's gonna be sending pics of the baby shower.
So we won't miss out.
Or you could go home and hang out with that diamond bracelet.
- [chuckles] Zing. - [Ian] Mmm.
Hmm.
You know what? I have been working hard,
- and I deserve a night with the boys. - [David stammers]
- There we go! Yeah! - [chuckles] This is a Swiss chronometer.
- It's not a bracelet though. - [Brad] Hmm.
[David chuckles] Well, whatever it is,
you might wanna take it off in my neighborhood.
[Brad] Hear that sound?
It's all my pieces falling perfectly into place.
Welcome to Casa de Brittlesbee.
Wow. So, this is the condo, David. Nice.
[David] Yeah, I love all the period touches.
You know, you got a diamond on your ear, I got my gem in Cerritos.
- The diamond probably costs more. - [player 1] Knock, knock.
- [stammers] Maybe. - Definitely.
[player 2] What up, what up!
- [David] Yo! There they are. - [Brad] Hey! What's up?
There are the boys.
Uh, this is Skank, Little George, and Louis.
Fellas, this is my boy Ian. [chuckles]
He's actually the one that, uh, got me on that-that Warrior Within Day,
you know, pulled this pearl out of his shell.
You, sir, are the reason I met these guys.
After that day, you know started acquiring some friends. [chuckles]
- [George chuckles] - Heard a lot about you, Ian.
- [Skank] Mmm. - Oh, but watch out for Louis over there.
- He'll commit a 211 on your chips. - [players chuckle]
That's police talk for robbery. Louis is a cop. [chuckles]
- A real cop? No way. - Yeah.
[David] Yeah, he's a cop. Little George here, he's a fireman.
And then Skank's a paramedic.
Cerritos is a-a heavy first responder community.
[sighs] Mad respect, brothers.
I'm actually, uh, a member of the Fraternal Order of Police Protection,
where you write them a $100,000 dollar check,
they give you that sticker for the car.
And then, when you get pulled over, the cop sees it and then doesn't give...
- And you've never gotten a ticket? - I have gotten a few tickets.
- Yeah. - That's not a real police organization.
It's a scam.
Whoa. Guy's been here five minutes and he's already lost a hundred grand.
[all chuckle]
- Speaking of, let's play already? - Yeah. Yeah.
Pony up, a hundred bucks buy-in
- per usual. - [players] Yes. Yeah.
Uh... Oh, cash.
I'm sorry, I didn't bring any cash.
You didn't bring money to a poker night?
[stammers] I don't really do cash.
- I mean, where would one even get that? - [sighs]
A bank.
- A bank. Are they still around? - [Brad] Yeah.
I thought we had transitioned into a paperless economy.
No, you transitioned into a paperless economy.
- Banks still exist. [chuckles] - Do you take Bitcoin?
[Brad] Mm-mmm.
- Ethereum? - We don't take anything digital.
- It's just cash... Yeah, just stop. - ApeCoin?
You know, I can float you, bud.
All right, well... but let's keep it small though.
- It's my first time. [chuckles] - [chuckles]
Um, like a thousand bucks.
- Uh, we don't usually play that high s... - I got it.
[Ian] Great.
- Okay. Cool. - [stammers] We usually play a hundred.
- So, uh... [stammers] - Well, we'll start here,
and then we'll see, you know, if... [stammers] Take it easy on me though.
- [chuckles] This is my first time. - [players chuckle]
- I came here to win money, not lose it. - [Brad] And so it began.
My whale had raised the stakes,
and my fish was swimming into deeper waters.
Meanwhile, Jo's baby shower was going along swimmingly.
It's nice of Jo to throw Poppy a baby shower.
[toy squeaks]
- Are they friends? - Mmm.
Does Poppy have friends?
I still can't believe she's pregnant.
And who doesn't have wine at a baby shower?
Is this it? Is this everyone?
Gee, thanks.
I'm sorry, do you have other friends
- that we don't know about? - [keys clacking]
You know, they say it takes a village to raise a child.
You could use this party to help expand your village.
Hey, if Dana gets to work, then so do I.
No. No laptops allowed.
Hey, I was working.
Hey, yourself, the baby shower has officially begun,
and I think David's present has just arrived.
[whistles] Enter!
Poppy!
There's... [chuckles] ...my sister.
What's up, you ratbag? Aw!
Tracy! Hi!
It's so good to see you...
Fucking Tracy! Why would you invite that mole?
I didn't invite her, David did.
But I'd be mad too if someone called me a ratbag.
Ratbag is actually a term of affection.
Is it supposed to evoke the joy of drowning rats in a bag?
No. No, Tracy pretends like she's the perfect daughter
and makes me out to be the freakazoid.
You know what? [sighs] Baby shower's off. I'm texting Ian.
- Look, you've got the upper hand here. - I do?
Yeah, you're popping out the first grandkid.
You've got a hot-ass boyfriend
and you're the boss bitch of a billion-dollar business.
Right. Right.
So go out there and show your younger sister...
- Older. - Really?
Yeah.
Okay. Well, just go out there and show her who's winning,
not just at this baby shower, but in life.
Hell yeah.
Let's go win this baby shower.
- Let's go! [exclaims] - [chuckles] Yeah! [chuckles]
[Brad] While Poppy was focused on winning the baby shower
- over the firstborn... - You're the boss bitch.
...Ian was trying to win over the first responders.
This is so great. I love hanging out with real men.
[all chuckle]
- [Louis] Yeah. - I usually hang out with a pregnant woman
and a bunch of sub-alpha males.
- So, this is very special to me. - [Skank] Mmm. Mmm.
- Skank, can I ask you a question? - Sure.
How do you, uh, sharpen this angle here?
What do I do for my jawline?
Yes. Is that natural or do you Jawzrsize?
It's natural.
What's he talking about?
I do not know, but I'm sure he could stop.
Well, it's a routine for your jaw to help chisel this feature.
Okay. Pot is good. Action on you, Ian.
I had an abusive relationship with my dad.
Did you guys too?
That's neither here nor there.
[inhales sharply] What's your bet?
Yeah. Uh, real men. Real men.
- [Skank] Yep. - We don't talk about shit.
We just go all in.
[Brad] My beluga whale was doing what whales do,
shoving all in every hand.
You know, you don't have to go in every time.
Uh, actually, I do.
I'm a bit of a disrupter, so I like to push all things possible.
- I can tell by your earrings. - [all laughing]
- [David laughs] They're dumb, right? - [Skank] That's funny.
[David] We don't like them, right?
[Brad] Ian wasn't making friends, but David wasn't making decisions.
He had the best hand in poker.
What are you gonna do, David?
This one is a big bet. So, uh...
Damn it, David, make the call.
All right, fine. All right. I call.
- [Louis] Dude! - Pocket aces.
Literally the best hand.
It's 4-to-1. I mean, Hillary had those odds and she still lost.
[chuckles] Thank God.
[Louis] Okay.
[sighs]
[Skank] David wins.
- [George] Oh! - [exclaims]
- [Ian laughs] - [chuckles] Oh, man,
- I feel like Jennifer Tilly. [chuckles] - [Ian sighs] Well, uh,
let's keep this train rolling. Let's get another grand in chips, huh?
A few more pots like that,
you can afford an earring like your buddy here.
[all laughing]
[David] Another thing we don't like, right?
[all laughing]
[Carol] Poppy, I love your sister.
[chuckles] Honestly, I love anybody who brings a Shiraz.
Oh, it's nothing.
I co-own a vineyard with one of the Hemsworths.
- [gasps] - Not the one you think.
It's actually not that impressive.
You can't swing a stick in Australia without hitting a Hemsworth.
Wow. I can't believe you're in the wine biz.
I for sure thought you were in fashion 'cause this outfit is sickening.
Actually, I'm an interior designer.
My firm combines, like, beach house chic with a modern farmhouse aesthetic.
I... [chuckles] ...I call it Beach Farm. It's the hottest thing in Byron Bay.
Really? 'Cause I thought the hottest thing in Byron Bay was your snatch.
'Cause you have chlamydia.
Jesus, Poppy.
It's okay. Poppy's love language is snarky comments
and throwing her Game Boy at me. I have the scar to prove it.
- Twelve stitches. - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
But maybe you shouldn't have called me a freakazoid.
Anyway. Mum and Dad send their love.
They were very surprised you were pregnant.
Not as surprised as me.
I wasn't surprised at all. Poppy's boyfriend is super hot.
It makes perfect sense how she got pregnant.
Even the gays agree. Right, girls?
- Please, don't. - You gotta stop calling us the gays.
Well, where is the lucky fella? I'd love to meet him.
Storm is in the Netherlands right now. He-He's actually a very talented artist.
Storm? [chuckles] I'm sure he's great, Pop, wherever he is.
Well, there's gonna be a storm brewing in your Netherlands
when you see how hot he is.
We should video call him. Maybe we'll catch him with his shirt off.
And I wanna capture this.
The moment where Poppy dunks on your ass.
He's real. And-And when you see him...
Twilight Forest, what is this?
Oh! O-Oopsie. [chuckles] This one's mine.
Okay. Well, if-if we can't call him, I-I can show you a photo.
Hold on, let me find one of his face.
Just a second.
All right. I can't... I can't find one of his face, but here's one of his...
- No, no, no! - No!
Now, hold on, now. [chuckles] Carol's curious.
It's time for a game.
Everybody to the conference room, now.
Hey, um, what's Twilight Forest?
Nothing. You didn't hear anything. Don't even think about it.
Boundaries.
Okay.
[Jo] Listen up, maggots,
in front of each of you is a diaper with a melted candy bar inside.
The game is to guess what the candy is by sight and smell alone.
No eating.
[chuckles] No problem.
Jo.
Jo, why the hell did it have to be candy?
- What do you mean? You love candy. - Yeah, I love candy,
but the baby doesn't. The thought of it makes me wanna throw up.
Then ask yourself, what's stronger,
your desire to beat your sister or your gag reflex?
[breathes sharply] Give me the damn diapers.
Everyone, ready, set, smell!
[whistle toots]
[gags, coughs]
[sniffs] York Pattie!
- That's correct. - [chuckles] This is child's play.
In your face, Tracy.
Oh, Jo. This is gross.
I didn't need to know what a gummy worm looked like microwaved.
- Correct. - [Carol] You think this is visceral?
Real baby poop is black.
- What? - Mm-hmm.
You feed 'em white stuff, and it comes out black.
It's demonic.
[exhales deeply] Hershey's Bar? No, wait. [sniffs, gags]
N-No, Crunch Bar. Crunch Bar!
Two for Poppy!
What is wrong with you?
This is what winning looks like, Tracy... [gags]
[Brad] While Poppy was desperate to humiliate her sister,
Ian was, well, just desperate.
You see, when you commit to it you can barely even tell that it's there.
I-I don't think anyone understands what you're saying.
I'm sorry. Do you guys... Did you wanna give it a shot?
You want us to suck on your ball gag?
[all chuckle]
This is not a ball gag.
This is 40 pounds of bite pressure in a convenient, on-the-go nub.
[all chattering]
- [phone chimes] - Oh, hey, got a text.
- Ooh. What do you got, D? - Oh, nice. What'd you get?
Uh... Uh, baby shower pics. Look at this. Poppy's sister.
She looks just like Poppy but, uh, an adult. See.
- [chuckles] That's adorable. - Oh,
- come on. - [David] I know. [laughs]
Why is Tracy at the baby shower?
I flew her out as a surprise.
Poppy hates her sister.
She does? Oh, why would you hate your sister?
I would love to have a sister who would come to my baby shower.
You grow out that hair any more, you could be your own sister.
Am I right, guys? [laughs] His hair sucks.
I like his hair. It's why I'm growing mine out.
I don't know David with short hair. And I don't want to.
Thanks, guys.
You guys are fucking with me, right?
This is nuts. I'm just gonna say.
I mean, you're not into my Jawzrsize,
you're talking about David's hair being cool.
I just... I mean, where the fuck am I?
Cerritos, bro.
90701.
Right off the 605.
- Next to the 91. - Technically, it's Artesia. So...
Hey. Hey, don't start with the Artesia stuff.
- That's a gerrymandering thi... - [Skank] Guys, every time.
Okay. I'm gonna take a piss and then I'm gonna leave.
[stammers] Ian, they're just messing with you.
I'm definitely gonna write that guy a ticket.
[all laughing]
[Brad] Ian leaving could ruin everything I'd worked for.
- Okay. - What are you doing?
Okay. All right, look, you can't leave.
Is this because they think you're obnoxious?
Huh? Those guys? No, they like me.
[laughs]
Oh, you're serious.
Yeah. Look, Brad,
sometimes you just gotta know when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em.
Okay. Right. You didn't fold once tonight.
It doesn't matter, either way. I don't need these guys to like me, okay?
- Mm-hmm. - I've got Poppy,
and Poppy and I are crushing it on the expansion. That's what I need.
Okay. Well, what I need is for you to stay.
I have been softening up David for months so he will bet Dana's contract.
The details of my plan to exploit him, they're inconsequential.
But trust me, you're pivotal to it. I got it all on my phone.
- Hmm. I like being pivotal to a plan. - Mmm?
- I know that you do. - Mmm.
All right. Step one, get into David's poker game.
Step two, get a fast pass for drives to Cerritos.
Step three, where is Cerritos?
- Step four, gain the fish's trust. - [door closes]
[Brad] And just like that, my whale swam away.
Or in this case, got in his car with a $100,000 sticker and sped off.
But the game had to go on.
Unfortunately, Ian had to go. [sighs]
At least he left us something to remember him by. His money.
- [both laugh] - Well, I mean, just because he's not here
doesn't mean we can't keep playing recklessly, right?
Where we at with the game?
Which game? The one we're playing or the one you are?
See, I heard everything you said to Ian.
Actually, we all did.
No, no. Uh, fellas, c... it's cool. Thanks.
One of the, uh, period touches that are so unique to this place is the, uh...
the vent above the bathroom door.
Really lets you hear all the shit happening behind closed doors.
You wanna play heads-up for Dana's contract? Let's play.
Are you sure?
Shuffle up and deal, bitch.
Can you not be this close to me?
- You don't like it? - I do not.
- Would you prefer I step away? - I would prefer that.
Let's bring it to the poker table.
Let's walk over there with a little bit more distance.
- All right. - Great.
An eye mask, earplugs,
and, um, sleeping pills?
Sometimes you gotta take a couple Xanis and let the baby cry it out.
I'm telling you, mama needs sleep.
You know I can't take these, Carol. I'm gonna be breastfeeding.
Oh, my bad. [chuckles] Give them back to me then.
- Uh-huh. Yep. - [stutters]
[Poppy] Okay.
From me.
Look, I know things have been tricky between us,
but I'm really happy for you, Sis, and proud of the person you've become.
You're gonna be a great mum.
- Thanks, Tracy. - [Tracy] Yeah.
[sighs]
"World's best aunt"?
You know I'm gonna be the baby's mum, stupid.
Surprise.
I'm pregnant.
You are?
You bitch!
- Oh. Whoa, whoa. Chill. - Oh! Whoa!
- [Dana] Chill! - Let me at her!
- What is your deal, Poppy? - [Dana, Rachel clamoring]
You cannot hit her. She's pregnant.
So am I!
[Brad] This was it. Heads-up.
If I beat David, then Dana's free of her contract.
I knew David was outmatched.
You probably think I'm outmatched.
I wasn't thinking that. I bet.
Good, 'cause you'd be thinking wrong.
I call.
[Brad] I knew he had a big hand.
David never believes he can win, so when he's dealt a good hand,
he has to double-check to see if it's real.
The question was, was his hand bigger than mine?
All in.
[players chatter, chuckle]
Oh. [chuckles] Very aggressive, Brad.
It almost seems like you want me to fold.
[Brad] A good con can succeed or fail on the details.
For months, every time I bluffed, I put on sunglasses.
David finally picked up on my tell. He thought I was exposed.
I call.
Aces.
[chuckles] You gave yourself away. Sunglasses.
- That's when I knew I had it in... - Brad wins.
- What? No, I have aces. - He's got a straight. [sighs]
A straight? No. There's a straight on the board? Where?
- [George sighs] You sh... - Oh, my God.
You should have gone all in on the flop.
- Oh, shut up, Little George. Shut up. - [Brad chuckling]
Get your hands off me!
Okay. This is sister shit. I'm not getting involved.
At least Poppy's having the first grandkid, you ratbag.
That's not the way that you use that word.
Actually, I'm eight months along.
- What? - You're not showing at all.
Oh... [chuckles] ...honey, we're using a surrogate.
I mean... [laughs] ...it's great that you're doing it the old-fashioned way.
I mean, your body was built for it. I could never.
No, you did not just body-shame a woman at her own baby shower.
It doesn't matter whose kid's first
because my kid's the one that Mum and Dad will actually see.
Sorry, but it's true.
Poppy, you work all the time to avoid life.
You've always been that way.
No. No, I haven't.
And you have no idea what I'm gonna be like once I have a kid.
Poppy, a kid is not gonna change you.
I flew halfway across the world to be here,
and I still had to meet you in your office.
And you can fly all the way back, you clap-ridden tramp!
Whatever. [sighs]
This is the weirdest baby shower I've ever been to.
You're no different.
You're still just a freakazoid.
She might be a freakazoid, but she's our freakazoid.
Yeah. And you're just a secret bitch wrapped in fake Chanel.
- [scoffs] - [Jo] Hey, Tracy,
you might get hungry on the flight home.
Might I suggest you eat shit?
- [screams, exclaiming] - [Jo exclaiming]
- Eat shit, Tracy! - Fuck you, Tracy!
- [Dana] Eat shit! - [Rachel] Get out of here!
- [Carol] Nobody likes you anyway! - [Tracy] You're all freakazoids!
- Fuck off! - [barking]
[sighs] Are you okay?
You guys just told my sister to eat shit.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.
- Oh... - Aw. [chuckles]
- ...Poppy. - [Poppy crying]
- Come here. - It was nothing.
- [Dana] Yeah. - Your sister sucks.
[Carol] Yeah. She's terrible.
- She is a bad person. - She's the worst.
I love you guys.
- [Jo] We love you too. - [Rachel] Aw.
And I think that I like you more than my real family.
- [Rachel] That makes sense. Yeah. - Well... [stammers] ...yeah.
- Like, a lot more. - [Jo] They're terrible people.
- [Poppy] I'm sorry I'm so emotional... - [Rachel] Oh, yeah. It's okay.
Don't feel too bad. You were beat from the beginning.
The sunglasses, the baby shower,
knowing you had a bespoke door vent so you'd hear everything I'd say
and go on tilt.
Well played.
Yep. I mean, you're right. I'm an emotional man.
Yeah, it's-it's why I had Jo send me baby pics all night. [chuckles]
Oh, I saw. Now, if you wouldn't mind signing this termination of contract.
So, then you must have seen in one of Jo's pics,
the load screen to Dana's new game.
In the MQ office, which makes it...
Property of Mythic Quest.
So we get Dana's new game, and we don't have to pay you two squat.
And that, my friend, is not a bluff.
Whoa. Are these prescription? Jesus, that is strong.
[Brad] Poker players rarely remember their big wins,
but we remember every detail of our biggest losses.
And this was by far my biggest and most humiliating.
I didn't just lose. I lost to a sucker. A fish.
I got beaten by a joker who wasn't even supposed to be in the game.
Dana.