[phone rings]
- Hey. - Oh, shit. You're asleep.
Mmm. [chuckles]
You still haven't quite figured out the time difference yet, huh?
Sorry, I just... [inhales deeply]
I'm so excited to show you.
[breathes deeply] It's here.
- Whoa, whoa, what... what, the baby? - What? No, no, no, no, no.
The ba... The baby's still right here in my body as per usual.
No, no, no, I-I'm talking about the art piece.
Oh, my God. Okay.
Well, now I'm awake so you might as well show it to me.
Okay.
Ta-da.
Oh, wow.
God, that is so beautiful.
Yeah. Isn't it?
It's light and airy,
a-and it fits together perfectly
just like how it feels when we're together.
Aw, well, I am blushing.
I know it's a little too dark to tell, but I am.
I wish you could see what I'm working on over here.
You know, it's funny that you should, um... that you should say that
because I've been thinking that maybe I should...
or I-I cou... I could...
[stammers] Temporarily...
Yes. Yes. Yes, please. Please come here.
- Really? - Yes.
I was going to ask you,
but I just felt like I couldn't ask you to come all the way out here
to hang out in my tiny studio apartment.
Are you kidding? I'm, like, a million months pregnant.
There is no such thing as too close to the toilet.
[chuckles] Well, I miss you too.
[chuckles] Uh, but what about MQ?
Um... [clicks tongue] ...we are on a break.
Then hell yeah, you just... just come here.
[chuckles] Um, but...
[stammers] but I...
[stammers] I do wanna know is...
is this... is this gonna be like a...
like a visit or...
- [stammers] How do you wanna... - Um.
You know, I ha... I-I hadn't thought that far ahead.
I-I kind of thought we could figure it out as we go.
Sure. Sure.
That's really all we can do with anything, right? [chuckles]
Yeah, just take our time.
- Maybe turn into a diamond. - [chuckles]
Well, if you buy the flights, I will buy the stroopwafels.
Deal.
All right, you better get some sleep.
- Good night, Storm. - Good morning, Poppy.
[breathes deeply]
Okay. Let's get... Let's get a round of applause, guys.
- Monday morning, huh? Come on. - [employee] Oh, okay.
Come on. Here we are. Big meeting. Big meeting. Big meeting.
Do you feel it? Do you feel the excitement?
Good. Good.
First off, I wanna address some rumors, uh, and rumblings about, um,
the lack of faith in my leadership and some insinuations that I'm a "lame duck."
Anyone here heard that?
Anyone here started those rumors?
Possible. I don't know. Either way, they're not true.
Uh, let me assure you right now that I have the complete trust of Montreal.
You're looking at a healthy duck, right?
Strong duck.
And what may have seemed like a...
a challenging moment on a national stage...
Oh, are you talking about how you totally biffed it in front of Congress?
Yes, Anthony, that was what I was referring to.
But, uh... But it was actually a tactical triumph
because, uh, even though we did lose the venture capital
from our foreign friends,
uh, what is one country's PR disaster is another's investment opportunity.
So, I am thrilled to announce that we have secured a large infusion of cash
from another country's sovereign wealth fund.
[chuckles] We got some money.
- We did it. - Which country, David?
- It doesn't matter. - That evil, huh?
[David] It's not evil, okay?
And it's not evil for a country to profit off its own natural resources.
Are the natural resources people?
Let's not get mired in the details.
Guys, the point is, let's wipe the slate clean
'cause we are flush with cash.
I mean... [chuckles] ...it is... it's like COVID days again, right?
♪ COVID days are here again ♪
♪ The skies are gonna clear again ♪
♪ A-COVID days are here again ♪
[chuckles]
You're singing about COVID?
[stammers] Hundreds of people died.
No, millions.
Millions?
Yes, sorry about that.
Apologies. I'm not making fun of COVID.
Just used to having meetings with people I have a rapport with.
Where is anyone I know?
Ian? Poppy? Any of the other ones? They should all be here.
- [cell phone rings] - Oh...
uh, I gotta take this.
Um, just, uh, hang tight. Be right back.
[phone chiming]
All right.
Wow, you're blowing up. Who's texting you?
Oh... [stammers] ... doctor. [chuckles]
- Is everything okay? - Yep.
Hey, where the hell are you?
I'm in the middle of a massive negotiation and I need your help.
Oh, okay.
Does this have implications for Mythic Quest?
It very well could.
Now, I need you to go to my office and open the vault.
- You have a vault? - Of course I do, David.
Every man has the right to safeguard his prized possessions,
legacy documents and priceless valuables.
Is this where you keep your lifts?
No, it's where I keep your balls.
Hey, don't insult me if you're asking me to do you a favor.
All right. Where is this thing?
Yeah. Back corner to the left, against the wall.
I'll unlock it remotely.
[vault lock beeps, clicks]
Wow.
Didn't this used to be a fire exit?
[Ian] Point the camera at the sneakers.
Yeah. See, right there, Steph.
MJ wore these in game three of the playoffs.
The bet is on.
I'm gonna win Steph Curry's ring.
You're spotting me three strokes though, right?
Right, Steph?
This is the major deal you're talking about?
Come on, man. I need you back at the office.
You know, we're trying to come up with plans over here.
Uh, right. I forgot to give you the heads-up.
David, I'm taking a leave of absence.
What? Why?
Well, because Poppy's taking one.
- Wait, Poppy's taking one? Since when? - Don't yell at me, David.
She started it. Go yell at her.
I can't yell at her, Ian, because she's not here,
- much like you. - Not my problem.
I turned off the Poppy switch
and then, when she's back, I'll flip it back on. But until then,
I'm going to play the ten best golf courses
with the ten best athletes.
It's important to have a plan.
Yes, I know it's important to have a plan, Ian. That's why...
[sighs] Just please don't bone me here, man.
Hey, we're teeing off. Bye, Dave.
- Wish me luck. - No, no, please. [stammers, sighs]
Whatever, I'm taking a gold bar.
Oh, shit.
Ooh... [chuckles] ...sorry about that.
[breathes deeply] Where were we?
Oh, you were celebrating millions of COVID deaths.
No, no, I was not celebrating anyone's death, okay?
I was celebrating a windfall of money we recently received
- with a jaunty song that... [sighs] - [cell phone rings]
Uh, I gotta take this, so just hang tight for a little bit longer, right?
Uh, maybe order some lunch? Andy, you want to be in charge of that?
- I'm Mikey. - Yeah, great. Get that going.
- Oh, Mikey is great at Postmates. - [phone chimes]
Come on. Let's go. Pass the phone around. I'm "hungy."
Mmm... [stammers]
David, big news. I'm leaving.
Oh, I know. Ian told me.
You're taking a sabbatical. Thanks for the heads-up, by the way.
No, no, no, no, no. I was on leave.
Now I'm leaving, as in the country.
Like, I-I'm looking at flights right now.
What? Why?
I'm gonna go see Storm in the Netherlands.
It might be a visit. It might be moving.
I really don't know yet.
Well, it's certainly crappy timing. [sighs]
I mean, you're leaving and now Ian's on leave.
I can't have both creative directors leave at the same time.
How does that make me look? Not like a healthy duck.
Like a pretty fucked duck.
Wait, Ian is taking a sabbatical?
Yes, he just told me.
He's taken off on some Golfing with the Stars tour.
You know what? This is so typical of him.
Throwing a tantrum just to get attention.
He is boning both of us
just like he always does.
But I think I can debone you, David.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think I have the solution. All right, go to the vault in my office.
Everything's in a vault now.
All right, fine. [sighs] I'm walking there.
There's a hard drive in there with a Roscoe sticker on it.
No, Poppy, I was just in the vault
and there was nothing in there except Ian's ridiculous sneakers
and various earth elements.
Not his vault, my vault.
It's just an empty cereal box on my desk.
Ian would never go near it, due to his fear of refined sugar
and artificial coloring. Although...
[chuckles]
...he doesn't seem to be that worried about artificial coloring in his hair.
- [chuckles] - Okay, stop with the jokes, would you?
Uh, so w-what is this?
What am... What am I holding? Are the... Are...
Are there compromising pictures of Ian?
It's Elysium. It's finished, mate.
Wait, what do you mean? [stammers] No, I killed that.
Yeah, we ignored you and built it anyway.
See, sometimes it works in your favor.
No, that does not work in my favor because I told Montreal that...
that I killed the expansion.
How is it gonna look when they find out that you guys defied my direct orders?
I don't know. I don't really get involved in the nitty-gritty.
It's not nitty-gritty. It is my life and career.
You know what? I don't need this, and I don't need you.
You don't wanna work here? That's fine.
There are plenty people that can replace you.
- Clean slate. [sighs] - [call disconnects]
[breathes deeply]
Okay, so I just need to replace her with a, uh...
a major piece of talent.
And I think I know where I can find it.
Not out there.
[Andy] This is tough.
I know what I should get but I also know what I want.
Oh, boy.
What the heck is "tat-zat-zee-kee"?
It's like ranch.
I'm hungry, just hurry up and order and pass the phone, would ya?
Okay, team, listen up. Uh, I need you to check this out.
Uh, you know, just tell me if there's anything in there worthwhile
or maybe we scrap it for parts. Here you go, Andy.
- I'm Mikey. - I gotta pop out for a minute.
Uh, take care of something. Uh, thank you so much for hanging tight.
- Can't wait to talk big moves with y'all. - Scrap what for parts?
Gotta go. Can't talk.
- What do you even do with this thing? - [phone chimes]
[Anthony] Uh, it's a hard drive.
Yeah, but there's, like, no ports.
There's, like, nothing.
What do you mean you don't want the job?
I don't want the damn thing.
I'm offering you lead programmer.
I mean, I... I'll pay you whatever you want.
Back up the money truck. Beep. Beep. Beep.
- You know, all I need is to... [stammers] - [dog barking]
What kind of hellhound is behind that door?
Oh, that's Butter. He's sweet...
to women.
He bit the hell out of the delivery guy's calf yesterday.
Didn't even touch the food, just wanted that male meat.
- [chuckles] - [Butter snarls, barks]
Ms. Bryant does not have time to repeat herself.
She doesn't want your pity job.
It's not a pity job.
I-It's a top position at one of the biggest gaming studios in the world.
And I am the greatest game-maker of my generation.
It is time to bet on me.
That's what I'm doing. I'm trying to bet on you.
Let me bet on you. Let's bet on you together, huh?
Come on, talk some reason into her.
- What are you wearing? - My sad narwhal pajamas.
- Why are you sad? - Because I defended child labor
in front of Congress, David.
Which is why I would never tell Dana to compromise her values for a job.
'Cause I did that, and now I'm gonna be sad forever.
Ooh, dip.
Oh, my God. I'm getting boned by a narwhal.
Jo, Jo... [chuckles] ...sweet, loyal, Jo.
Would you please explain to them that we have the chance
to build something great together?
I'm sorry, David. But my first loyalty is to my boss and my best friend
and my other best friend and their best friend.
[Butter barks, whines]
[sighs]
[stammers] Where's the tall, skinny, brown one?
[stammers] The reasonable one who cares about money.
Where's the man?
- [Butters growls] - [door rattles]
[in Polish] I love our high level meetings.
As do I.
Although sneaking around so we don't bruise our fragile creatives is tiresome.
Creatives.
[sighing]
[sighs, chuckles]
What if we didn't have to be subject to their emotions?
What are you suggesting?
- [chuckles] - A future together.
One where we drink caipirinhas on the beach in Rio
and have sex until we pass out...
[chuckles]
...crowdfunded by American children.
Interesting.
[chuckles, inhales deeply]
- [in English] Excuse me, could you... - [masseuse 1] Mm-hmm.
Thanks.
[in Polish] On this drive is malware I created.
When uploaded into the Playpen system,
it will skim fractions of Playpennies off every transaction.
Over the course of a year, two, five, etcetera,
millions of dollars will be deposited into an untraceable crypto wallet.
[chuckles]
All I need is someone who can access the network.
Impressive.
[chuckles]
I stole it from the film Office Space, which stole it from the Superman III.
Both movies I stole from the Internet.
It is a...
[in English] theft onion.
[in Polish] I love the way your brain works...
[cell phone rings]
[clicks tongue, groans]
That's David's ring.
[clicks tongue, in English] Excuse me, could you...
[masseuse 2] Mm-hmm.
[in Polish] Decision time.
Are you with me or with him?
[in English] Everything okay? Not hungry?
Actually, no, I was eyeing up your meal.
You ever get that feeling where you only want what your friend has?
[chuckles, stammers] Why would you say that?
No reason, friend.
Listen, Andy... [stammers] ...we should probably, um...
[David] I'm back.
- [Anthony] Hey, David. - Hey, great job, team.
Hey, keep hanging tight. I can't talk right now.
I'm busy as a Brittlesbee. [chuckles]
Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz. [chuckles]
[cries]
I get so boned!
I get so boned all the time. Everyone's always boning me.
- Everyone's boning me right in the... - [Jo] David.
[screams] Jesus.
What are you doing here?
Feeling very uncomfortable.
[sighs] What do you want?
I'm here to betray Dana and Rachel by getting them their jobs back
and in return I ask only that you consider hiring me back as your assistant.
God, no. You're crazy.
- Please, David! - Whoa!
Are you scared of me?
- Yeah. - Me?
[chuckles] David, you...
Ho, ho, ho, I took a class.
Someone taught you to do that?
David, it's me. You know me.
It's Jo. Sweet, loyal, Jo.
Please hire me back.
Please.
I need this job.
I can't go back to that dog-infested shitbox of an apartment.
I'd rather die.
If you don't hire me back,
I swear here and now that I will walk into the ocean again.
See, right there. Yeah, you're insane. Get away from me.
[sighs]
Jesus, you're insane. You're all insane.
You know what, that's it, I'm starting fresh.
- No more you, no more Ian, no more Poppy. - No.
- Clean slate. Clean slate! - No. No.
You need my crazy! You need my crazy!
[phone ringing]
Hey, David. I can't really talk right now. I'm in the middle of this bet.
And it's not going very well.
Steph Curry excels at every sport he plays.
Okay. You shut up, you shut up and you listen good, okay?
'Cause you're not gonna bone me this time. No. [chuckles] I am boning you.
You're fired! Ha! Slean clate!
- What? - Sorry, clean slate.
Look, I am done with you and Poppy.
And that is what you get for lying to me about the expansion.
David.
[Ian] Wait, she told you about Elysium?
Oh, yeah. Yeah, she told me a lot of fun updates.
Like the one about her moving to the Netherlands.
She's what?
Oh, don't act like you didn't know. Come on.
Look, I didn't but g-good for her, all right? She should do that.
David!
You know, you two have no respect for anyone in this company.
I'm gonna show you something. You see this?
This right here is people that have been waiting around all day.
Move, Anthony. They've been waiting all day to understand
what the direction of this company is.
Well, guess what? Here's the direction this company is going.
It is going in a direction without you.
- What? - Okay? You like that? Does that hurt?
Yeah, that's the sting of a Brittlesbee. Ha ha!
[call disconnects]
Now, Anthony, what is it?
I played the expansion.
Does it suck? Please tell me it sucks.
It's incredible.
No!
No, it cannot be incredible.
Tell me it's-it's bad.
Because if it's good, then that means that I have to work with them.
And I don't want to work with them, Anthony. Because I hate them.
So, tell me it's bad, or tell me it's lame,
or tell me it's mediocre.
But tell me something that I want to hear!
A masterpiece.
I know. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
And I've watched a ton of porn.
Oh, s-shit.
[inhales deeply] I need Ian and Poppy back.
[sighs] Okay.
- Okay, let's call them. [chuckles] - [Andy] Call her now.
- Yeah, I'll call them back. And I'll, uh... - What are you two talking about, Judas?
- I'll beg Ian. - [Andy] I ought to hurt your ass!
- I'll beg Ian to come back. - [Mikey] That hurt!
- [Mikey] Hey, get off! - No, you get off of my woman!
[grunting, groaning]
Ow! Ow, my scalp!
Hey.
- [grunting] - [employee] World Star!
[Mikey] Got you! Got you! Hey, no kicking!
- No kick... It's not a kick fight! - Guys.
Guys, come on, you're too old for this! Stop it! Come on!
You're gonna break a hip.
- Good. Add it to my broken heart. - O-Okay.
Everybody, go back in the conference room, would you?
Guys, come on. What the hell is going on?
Mikey slept with Carol.
I didn't sleep with Carol. We just made out.
Wait, wait. Carol, Carol? Our Carol?
No, she was my Carol until he stole her from me.
- Wait, y-you both made out with Carol? - [sighing]
No, I made love to her.
We just kissed a little bit.
Petting. Over the shirt stuff. She wanted to do more on my...
- Okay, all right, listen, Mikey... - No, no, no.
Enough! Enough! Enough! Stop it! Stop it!
Guys, I do not have time to keep two crazy people apart.
I gotta go get two other crazy people back together.
So, you go in the testing cube. And you, go in the conference room.
And stay there, okay?
- Just one more and then I'll... - No, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa!
No.
- [Mikey sighs] - I'm gonna poison you.
What is that? Don't do that.
Go. Go!
- [Brad] Hey, David. - Hey, Brad.
- Wait, what are you doing here? - Just dropped by to clean out the office.
Oh, great. Hey, we're cleaning house.
Everybody's gotta go.
Hey, love that energy. Where are you going?
To get Ian and Poppy back.
Clean slate! [chuckles]
- Hey, clean it out, all right? - You know I will.
[knocks on door]
- Please don't go. - Whoa!
I'll beg if I have to.
You already are.
No, this is nothing. I-I got a whole nother gear.
I can get down on all fours and you can ride me out of here
like a hobby horse if you want.
- David, get up. - Does that mean you'll say yes?
David, get up off the floor.
- All right, fine. [sighs] - Sorry, okay?
I just... I'm not trying to bone you.
But I have to leave.
I can't work with Ian anymore.
I know Ian is... [sighs]
He's frustrating as hell to work with.
But i-if it makes you feel any better, so are you.
You're both insufferable, selfish children who are driving me insane.
- Thank you? - [sighs]
But somehow together the two of you, i-it works.
Uh, look, I don't want it to work. I-I don't want to want you.
I wish I could quit you.
But I... [sighs]
[stammers] Then you make something like Elysium and it's incredible.
So I'm asking you to come back.
David, this is hard for me too.
Do you think it's easy for me to walk away from everything we've built together?
Well, so don't. I mean, y-you don't have to leave.
If you don't leave, then he won't leave. And then nobody has to leave.
And then we can go crazy together.
Is this your strategy for keeping a woman?
'Cause it is not working.
[sighs] Yeah, it never does.
Do you have juice?
I've been running around a lot today.
I think I have an orange you can suck on.
- [phone chimes] - Uh...
Who's this?
Oh, God. It's Anthony. With a link. Probably some weird porn thing.
- Oh, my God. - What?
- It's Ian. - In a weird porn?
No... [sighs] ...but he is fucking me.
[Poppy] "Ian Grimm resigns from Mythic Quest?"
Oh, my God, he's resigning?
He... He can't do that.
He just did.
Which means...
it all comes down to you.
If you stay, you'll be creative director.
No one else. No Ian, no compromises.
[sighs]
Please stay.