CAMERA CLICKS
What's the number?
- BSIU 289... - 143.
Third floor, near the end.
Look at that mountain of steel.
Where is our box of chocolates? - Near the end...
Not too high.
Ever wonder if the universe has a plan for you?
I feel like this is one of those moments.
I never saw the port this tight.
Maybe we should wait a little longer.
Yeah. Place is 24/7 with filth.
Their pups are so cute.
Our customers are starting to have withdrawals.
Goes on too long, they might even get clean.
The universe has spoken.
Let's get ready to move.
Caoimhe.
Niamh.
Saoirse.
Maeve.
- Maeve Walsh. - I like the sound of that.
Fucking idiots out there, man...
Sitting around with their fingers up their asses on our fucking dollar.
Doing nothing is better than being busy doing nothing.
Lao Tzu. Bless you, my dear.
Customs are scrutinising everything moving in and out,
the port's backed up all the way to Britain.
According to this, it's causing a shortage of toilet paper. Tragic.
We're stuck in a queue. There's nothing we can do.
Do you want to witness capitalism at its worst?
We should be using this time to do some fucking housekeeping.
Reasonable thought. What do you suggest?
I don't know, maybe clear out the competition.
That reminds me, I need to order that book on poor impulse control.
LAUGHS
That fucking funny, is it?
Quite.
While I flush out a solution,
why don't you go ahead and blow off some testosterone?
And how do you propose I do that?
What about that girl?
Take her out for Valentine's Day.
It's a bit much, isn't it?
Asking a new thing out on Valentine's Day.
Seems a bit... - Keen?
Maybe. - Or honest.
What the fuck do you know about this stuff, man?
Less than most.
But my brother fancies himself a ladies' man.
And he says if you're straight with a woman, tell her how you feel...
it'll warm her little heart.
And other parts too.
Yeah, or I scare her right the fuck off.
Might tell you how she really feels. Save you some time.
Yeah, all right.
And don't forget a dozen roses, yeah?
My father used to get my mother the white ones.
Usually, to be fair, after he smacked her about.
Last of the great romantics, he was.
IN DUTCH:
It's a beauty.
KNOCK AT DOOR
- Hey. - What's happening?
Rika sold her entire first batch of shirts to a wholesaler.
That's amazing.
RIKA GRUMBLING IN NEXT ROOM
Why is she upset?
The fuck face completely scammed her. The shirts are gone.
So is every last cent in my bank account, including your investment.
Fuck.
Did you meet with this arsehole? - Only over Zoom.
And he got your bank details, how?
I gave it to him because he needed to pay me.
Classic look and hook.
They ask you to check online to confirm their payment's landed
and then mirror your screen as you enter your password. Hacker 101.
- I'm so stupid. - No, you're not.
Can you find him?
I'm trying to trace the knobhead, but I think he used a multi-hop VPN
to cover his tracks.
Just forget it. He's gone in the wind.
This whole thing was a dumb idea anyway.
Do you have any more of those?
That's a prototype. It's the only one I have left.
Give it to me.
PORN PLAYS ON TV
SPRAYS
What did you have to do?
Nothing too heavy.
Rika is happy, isn't she?
Then everything's right in the world.
What's that?
Oh, we're headed to Amsterdam for Valentine's Day.
- Oh, with the parents? - Don't rub it in.
Just be yourself. You'll be fine.
When you're back, we can rev up the pony.
I already told you, mate. I'm out.
You may have said that in the moment.
TOBIAS: And I meant it.
You were obviously distracted.
By maniacs with guns.
It worked out fine, didn't it? I had your back.
What're you know, a fucking enforcer? The muscle?
What's happening to you, mate?
You know, when you're...
When you're little, your parents tell you
that everything's sunny in Toy town? The world is loving.
Everyone has a place. - Yeah, I never had those parents.
Then you should know better than most
that the real world isn't kind.
Anything you want, you have to take.
And that means taking it from someone else.
Let's face facts.
This is the best opportunity you and I are ever gonna get.
We just have to take it.
I'm sorry, mate.
This just ain't me.
Cheers.
We've been praying for them for the past few Sundays.
FARRELL: Have you, yeah?
Think it'll help? - Can't hurt.
They're probably off shagging on a beach somewhere in Barbados.
They were cousins.
That's just what the conspiracy theorists are saying.
You believe everything you read online?
None of it. But every lie has a shred of truth.
I've been wondering about tomorrow night. You know, just...
You probably have plans, do you? - I don't think so.
What's tomorrow?
It's the 14th.
Of February.
Valentine's Day?
If you're asking...
did you have something in mind?
All right. I'll tell you exactly what I have in mind, yeah.
Take the family plane down to Venice, land in the afternoon.
Push off in the gondola into the Grand Canal at sunset.
A bottle of sparkling prosecco.
Ferrero chocolate, dozen red roses,
or white roses, depending on what you like.
And...
Yeah. The whole shebang.
What'd you think?
No thank you.
However,
I will say yes if we do something you love.
Show me who Farrell is. Not what Daddy's money can buy.
It feels like our shipment's on a collision course of doom.
Or, at the very least, cargo ship purgatory.
Do you mind if I use that?
You can close that up.
That's a serious traffic jam.
I bet over half of these ships are heading here.
Ours could take a month or more to dock.
Could work in our advantage with the current security checks.
But what if everything stays status quo?
Well, come on then, COO.
You know ports. There must be some other valid option.
Maybe we need to get Tobias in here, see if he's any brilliant ideas.
Assuming we'd find the right controller
with enough clout to shuffle the schedule,
we could resort to your old standby bribes.
Lived and learned.
What else?
You wanna send the ship to another port.
Antwerp.
The port's not backed up.
And the heat is on in Rotterdam. Not in Antwerp.
OK, so say we were to reroute.
We still need to intercept the container.
We'd have to pony the Antwerp port.
And that's something that you and Tobias can work on?
Yeah.
Problem still remains.
Even if the tech works perfectly from start to finish,
the container is the weak link.
There's too many players along the way.
Too many opportunities for trouble.
- Unless... - Unless...
Well...
What if we were...
If we would have fewer links in the supply chain.
If we own the importer and the distributor...
We wouldn't need to piggyback on other people's shipments.
And even better, if our importer and distributor
were from the same company, we could have...
BOTH: Vertical integration.
And who do we know who can help us with all that?
Oh, come on, man with flash.
Two Michelin stars. Wildly creative menu.
This is supposed to be a cultural experience.
I'm posting about it.
That's not experiencing, that's reporting.
My grandmother would go ballistic.
Cut you all to pieces.
Sitting around a table sharing food and words with each other,
that's the basis of civilisation.
Cas.
- Hey. - Hi.
- Guys, this is Ulva. - Hi.
I see you all went for the tasting menu with wine pairings.
How nice. - A lovely experience.
Delicious, of course.
But tell me this. When did everything have to be foam?
Makes it all have the texture of bird shit.
Look, I don't mean to stir the pot,
but my customers are getting a bit twitchy about their supply.
Or lack thereof.
We got a fresh shipment at the port.
I was under the impression the port was locked down.
Not to worry. We'll get it soon.
Well, that's wonderful news.
I was thinking I was going to have to negotiate with that Irish woman.
- Irish? - Fucking left-footed potato eaters.
Feel free to talk to the Irish.
But if you do,
your fuckwit customers will be grinding up Fentanyl
and shooting up between their toes
before you see an ounce of product from them.
We're the only market in this country.
When shall I expect a new supply?
When we are good and ready.
Now kindly fuck off.
We're enjoying our overpriced bird shit.
You OK?
Yeah, I think so.
Hello?
IN DUTCH:
DAD: Come on, Rogers family huddle.
Hi, Tobias. What is that?
Hi Anne-Marie, Rod.
Well, it looks like a monkey.
She's a dog. Her name is Inez.
Don't worry, she's housebroken. And let's speak English.
Does it shed?
Actually, no. This breed is hypoallergenic.
She's part of our family now.
- This house needs an elevator. - Yeah, it has one.
This is it.
This is sweet.
Can you close the door, please?
And you close your eyes.
Come here, lover. - What are you doing?
I just need you to relax a little bit. Enjoy your vacation.
I don't know, it just feels weird with your parents downstairs.
We can try to be quiet.
Wow. OK.
I'm so sorry.
So sorry. Yeah, I wasn't expecting that.
Sorry, guys. You carry on. Carry on.
Erm, actually, sorry. What I meant to say was,
why don't you pop downstairs and we'll have a little drink?
- OK. - OK. Bye.
- God. - Have fun.
- Dad! - Oh, my God.
Motherfuckers.
CHATTER
Hey!
This a sunset home now?
Daytime TV? That's the beginning of the fucking end, that is.
Want this place looking ready for a visit from the fucking Pope himself.
And you, pop to the shop and give me some new spark plugs.
Name brand. No cheap generics, yeah?
Fucking now would be great.
Yeah...
Look pretty?
Yes.
OK.
You're good.
I know.
- Well, I... - My, that's classy.
I'm wearing Valentino.
Fuck you.
Midlife crisis.
RAP MUSIC PLAYS ON CAR RADIO
Hi.
CAMERA CLICKS
You're nothing but a pawn
in these Fenian fucks' misguided operation.
But that doesn't make you any less accountable for your own choices.
WHIRRING
HE SCREAMS
Oh, dear. It's so wonderful to have you home.
Well. Thanks, Mom. We're also really happy to be here.
Yeah, your father noticed.
TOBIAS COUGHS
So how is everything in "Rotjeknor"?
Oh, it's great, Rod. Yeah, everything's busy.
No, you exaggerate. Nothing can be great in that city.
It's been gentrifying for 30 years now,
and it still has the same old grimy stench of an oil spill.
Tobias, don't forget the fennel.
So, what are you working on now, Tobias? Assuming you're employed.
TOBIAS: Oh, logistics.
ANNE-MARIE: I never know what that means.
It's coordinating transport at the port.
You know, ships, trucks, containers.
Sounds kind of boring, no?
TOBIAS: Well, it has its moments.
Got the fennel.
Do we have anything other than lamb?
Tobias is vegetarian.
No.
- It's OK. I'll be fine. - Good.
Tobias is being really humble.
He builds very complex digital platforms.
Like... Like Uber or Airbnb.
Don't get me started on Airbnb.
ANNE-MARIE: They take 20% of profits. And for what?
Well, your setup seems to be doing OK.
Mum, do you need us to toss this?
Tobias can toss the salad. Can you help me whisk this, please?
I have a bit of a...
The Rodgers are not the type of people
who are content with doing just OK.
Have you told her that we've just bought four new properties?
Good for you.
Twenty-seven in total now. Occupancy rate over 90%.
I'm telling you, Tobias, Amsterdam's the golden goose.
It's the cash machine of Europe.
The whole world wants to come here.
You mean literally, right?
I mean...
You know, the stag nights and the girls in the windows.
The XXX of it all.
We know what you meant.
"Doublin"?
Dublin?
Dubble-in?
Just an all-round collapse in spelling and grammar.
I blame the internet.
To be fair, it's not their first language.
What the fuck are you on about?!
Look at this shite. It's a fucking declaration of war.
I'm getting Da on the blower.
You don't need to do that.
Nobody died, you say?
No, but they properly fucked them up.
It's a straight provocation.
And if we rise to it, we give them what they want.
A turf war on their turf.
That's not what they want. They want our market.
'Yeah, but it was theirs first. Don't forget.'
They only did this petty shite because they're fucking nervous.
I'm telling you, we punch back, take half of them out,
and Europe will open her legs for us.
'Hey, your blessed mother is hearing that tongue.'
- I'm sorry, Mum. - No worries, love.
Not my first potty mouth.
Wear this one. It matches my dress.
KIERAN: 'What about the port?'
SLOANE: We're still on lockdown, but we're putting together a workaround.
'I see.'
If I may suggest something...
Who are you?
Mr Walsh?
Who are you?
I'm Marco de Bont. I'm the new C...
I'm the new tech person.
Just a thought, philosophically.
Philo-fuckin'-sophically?
Isn't there enough room for both groups?
We can talk to them and come to a mutually beneficial arrangement.
Like Microsoft and Apple,
or BP and Shell.
Competition, sure, but also complementary.
Working to each other's strengths. Plenty of market to go around.
'Oh, well, thank you, son, for the input.'
And the...
iron kettlebells you have banging between your thighs.
'Do you mind stepping out for a moment?
'I need to have a minute with my children.'
No problem.
The philosopher gone?
He has.
What in the name of all that's holy was that?
That was her fucking keyboard monkey telling us how to do our business.
- He's no fucking monkey. - What is he, then?
He's running around calling himself fucking COO.
Call him the King of fucking Holland for all I care.
But I do not want anybody who is not called Walsh
in our family discussions. Is that clear?
Perfectly.
'Good.'
Well, I need to take my lovely bride out on the town.
Please tell me that you have plans for this evening.
Sorry. I shouldn't have said anything.
It's fine. Dad needs a bit of a surprise every now and then.
Let's move on Antwerp.
OK.
Yeah.
I want you and Tobias there tomorrow,
start work on the pony and the boosters.
Sure.
Find a safe place. Close to the harbour.
Buy all the kit you need.
I'm gonna need money.
Follow me.
I might have found a solution for our incorporation problem.
It's a company that we can inhabit. They make T-shirts.
It's a fairly small operation, but it's growing fast.
Watch your head.
It would be import, manufacture, distribute.
It's pure vertical integration.
And can we access the accounts? Control the records?
It's ours to play with.
We're just gonna need an influx of cash
to increase the amount of cash flow.
Antwerp.
And the T-shirt company.
How many cases are we talking about?
Between the endless bars and coffee shops,
how do intoxicated fools not fall in the canals?
They do.
Usually while urinating in them.
Every so often, they pull out a body.
- Oh, shit. - Mostly tourists.
They don't put that on the postcards.
That's why swimming lessons are required in the Netherlands.
Kids even train with their clothes on just in case.
Although my mum just put a leash on me to yank me from the edge.
- When are they gonna take it off? - It's not fair.
They just want the best for me.
It doesn't include me.
Don't be silly. They just...
They haven't seen your potential...
yet.
It's Marco.
He wants the login for the Thing account.
He's going to make another deposit.
I think this thing might actually be happening.
TYRES SCREECH, SHE SCREAMS
So...
this is you.
- This is me. - Powerful. Fast. Dangerous.
Powerful and fast definitely, but...
..can't deny it's the little tickle of danger that I enjoy the most.
Lucky for you, so do I.
Well, you do, do you?
Erm...
- I thought we were having a moment. - We are.
It's my turn.
Angelique...
Seriously, this isn't like your daddy's diesel or whatever.
Listen, why don't we just... go get a burger or something?
There's a place around the corner. It's very me.
I'll take a rain check.
Feels good.
You say you enjoy danger...
Yeah, I do, but I don't have a fucking death wish.
Are you getting in?
Don't turn on that engine.
ENGINE ROARS
Turn that engine off.
GIGGLING
GIGGLING CONTINUES
I understand you haven't found any acceptable matches in our database.
No.
OK, well. Let's see.
We have sent you, and you have rejected...
Oh, OK.
191 donors.
Yeah. Well, there was a few promising profiles,
but then you FaceTime them and...
Is that necessary?
You need DNA, not a candlelight dinner.
It is necessary.
I don't want my child to inherit the DNA of an idiot.
Given your hesitation,
have you had a truthful conversation with yourself
about why you want this?
I have.
And what was the answer?
A child.
Sure. But why?
For example, some of my patients, they feel a void,
which they mistakenly think a child will fill.
Others have a difficult time coping with societal pressure.
Women often... - I'm sorry.
Did I miss the sign above your door that said psychoanalyst?
No.
No, you didn't.
But some of my patients like to talk things through.
And some don't. So in this case, stay in your lane.
CLINKING
It's time for the Rodgers' Valentine's Day family tradition.
"The liefde speeches."
The love speeches.
I first came to Amsterdam -
this was quite a few years ago - for a bachelor party.
While my stupid friends were knee deep
in Jenever, legal weed and red lights,
all I could see was opportunity.
You see, back then, the city centre was this...
magnificent rundown dump.
So I came back a few months later,
and I was quite a lot younger than you are.
I started buying properties and renovating them,
and that is when I met this wonderful, amazing,
and very beautiful up-and-coming interior designer,
who helped me with my business immensely and stole my heart.
HE SPEAKS DUTCH
"A true Amsterdam fairytale."
That's sweet.
In fact, it was in one of those properties,
floors were buckling and walls were crumbling,
the ceiling was caving in. It was there...
that I learned that my beautiful bride-to-be
had a penchant for quickies.
LAUGHS
Her position of choice?
"Op z'n hondje."
LAUGHTER
From behind.
Thank you for jarring my memory.
HE SPEAKS DUTCH
- "To love." - To love.
Tobias, why don't you go next?
I'm a little bit confused about what I'm supposed to say.
No rules. Whatever comes to mind.
Just from the heart. - You don't have to.
No.
No, it's all right. I got this.
A famous coder
once said
something like,
"Any buffoon
"can write code that a computer can understand,
"but it takes a great programmer
"to write code that
"any human can understand."
Rika...
when you let me into your life...
..you taught me the secret to what love actually is.
And by doing so, you helped me understand
what it means to be human.
I love you... - I'm so sorry to interrupt.
Tech talk kind of confuses me.
In this scenario that you've painted,
if Rika is the human...
..does that make you the buffoon?
No, that's not what I was trying to say.
Mum.
To the buffoon.
- Wow. - What did she say?
Nothing.
Didn't sound like nothing.
Callum. Hi. You've arrived, then?
'In transit, actually.
'Just heading to Dublin airport.'
I wasn't gonna call.
Given the day and all.
I assumed you'd be swimming in champagne and roses.
- Assume again. - 'But then I thought, sod it.
'I'll just leave her a message.'
No need. I bloody hate this day.
'The bastard stepchild of Cupid and Hallmark.'
No. Take that back.
CHUCKLES 'I will not.'
It's a joke.
Overpriced fixed menus.
And don't get me started on the loved-up brigade.
'Mooning around like some cult members pretending to be happy.'
I'd be hanging up now if it weren't for the need
to defend the honour of this holiday.
'You see, there's no better day than Valentine's.'
- Is that so? - It certainly is.
In primary school, I felt somewhat special
because every year I received three...
secret valentine's cards.
A regular heartthrob.
It was only after I grew hair on my chest
I realised they were from my mum and sisters.
SHE LAUGHS
You promised to show me around the city.
Did I?
'So what do you say?
'Does Sloane Walsh have time to fit me into her schedule?'
ANNE-MARIE:
- How's Inez doing? - She's sleeping.
- Dessert? - No, I couldn't eat...
ANNE-MARIE:
Tobias, are you enjoying the vruchtentaart?
Yeah. The vruchtentaart's lovely, Anne-Marie. Thank you.
Amigo.
Thanks. Slow night, huh?
- No romance at food trucks. - Guess not.
Hey.
Sorry. Sorry.
TRANSLATION ON PHONE: 'That's not fair, but that's how it goes.
'They have no talent for happiness.
'And you think you can fix them, but that's not the case.
'That's not possible.
'And before you know it, everything is ruined.'
RIKA: What are you doing?
'If you bring home this stray from London...'
You recorded us?
I'm broken.
A damaged mutt.
No, babe. No, no. She really doesn't mean it like that.
It's exactly what she said. And clearly you agree.
Me? I didn't say anything like that.
No, you didn't. In fact, you didn't say a whole lot.
No, babe.
My favourite part is when your mom says
you had fun with a bit of rough.
And then what? You not coming to my defence?
Without a doubt, I'm never going to be good enough for them
or you, in this gilded fucking temple.
STAMPING FOOTSEPS
No.
What are you doing?
- What does it look like? - Tobias, please.
You know what? They're right.
This is who you really are.
And it's not even your fault you can't change.
You'll always be their precious little girl.
And they won't rest until I'm gone.
So fuck it. I'll do it for them.
Babe. You're overreacting.
We were drinking. We were saying stupid shit.
Come on. Things will look better in the morning.
Yeah, they certainly will when this stray buffoon is back in Rotterdam.
Oh, if you think you can just go home now
and then stay in my place, you're wrong.
There it is. The truth is told. It's not even your house.
It's your parents' house. They fucking paid for it.
They've always got that little leash on you,
snapping you back from the edge.
That's it, then.
Please tell your "op z'n hondje" parents...
fuck you very much.
And thank you for the hospitality.
FRONT DOOR SLAMS
Standby.
All quiet on the south end.
We are a go.
Come on, come on, come on.
No, no, no, no.
- Oh, fuck. - What?
Fucking hell.
GUNFIRE
Tell them to get the fuck out of there.
Go, go, go.
GUNFIRE
- Thanks for coming. - Always.
Is that for me?
You're all I got.
I think I really fucked it this time, man.
- I'm sure it's fixable. - I don't know, mate.
I really flipped out on her. I said some things that...
Just give it some time. It'll be fine.
Trust me, I've been there.
Although I guess it doesn't always turn out fine.
That's not helping.
I guess not. But...
as luck would have it...
I know the perfect therapy for a break-up.
Men's trip.
A lads' trip?
Antwerp. It's the coolest city in Europe.
And while we're at it, we might take a look at the port.
- I hear it's a nice port. - Hey, there you go.
That's the spirit. Let's go.
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