(cheerful electronic music)
[Maisy Voiceover] I hate it when Mummy tells me off
in front of other people, like a silly little girl.
I'm virtually an adult.
And Holly always goes on about how
I haven't even got a boyfriend,
haven't even kissed a boy.
Nobody else's little sister expects them
to start procreating the minute they start their period.
Could I pull that off?
Well, if Mummy and Daddy wanted grandchildren,
they shouldn't have sent me to so some rubbish
all girl's school.
I never meet any boys.
And then Holly ruins my chances.
Well I guess me and Megan can grow old together
and look after abused donkeys on Cornwall.
I wonder if we could get a possum.
She looks a bit like a possum.
Oh I wish I hadn't blurted out that little joke
about peeing in the shower.
I just, I thought everyone did it.
[Ben Voiceover] I wonder if they secretly look up to me.
I mean, sure they're popular and supposedly cool,
but what are they gonna do when they leave school?
It's not like Thomas Cunningham will make much of himself.
They probably wish they could have 5 A-stars like me.
I wonder what GCSE's they even got.
She's kinda hot.
Nah, maybe not.
Looks a bit badgery.
Nah, they're just not that clever.
They should enjoy it while they can.
[Maisy Voiceover] I mean,
it's all very well if you need glasses,
but some people,
Oh my God, it's Nathan Beals-Harper!
This is my chance!
Maybe I could just bump into him.
[Ben Voiceover] I would like to be
Professor of physics at a big famous university.
Professor Ben Maxwell.
Or even quite a small, niche university,
married to my childhood sweetheart.
I would like to have a childhood sweetheart.
Am I still in childhood?
If I could find a sweetheart in the next few weeks,
it could count.
The girls at school are so boring, though.
Where else could I meet one?
[Maisy Voiceover] OK, I am actually stalking him.
Hi, Nathan.
Hi, Nate.
Remember me, Maisy?
Your parents are friends with my parents.
God, I am so lame.
He does have beautiful eyes, though.
Shit.
Maybe he didn't see me properly.
OK, I'll overtake.
I'm busy, I'm important, I have places to go.
And then maybe he'll make the first move.
Where's he gone?
Oh, hi Maisy,
I didn't see you there.
Oh, hi Nathan!
Oh, Maisy, I've been meaning to ask you,
will you go out with me?
I don't know.
I'll just have to check my diary, Nathan, and...
Shit, shit, shit!
Oh, sorry!
Don't worry.
- Sorry. - Sorry.
It's about time, Maisy!
Boris is probably rotting in here.
I know, I'm sorry.
I was on my way and I ran into Nathan
and got a bit distracted.
What happened?
Well, he looked at me.
Well that's new.
What kind of look was it?
Mostly kind of angry.
Hmm
Take Boris.
I caught my Mum yesterday trying to put him
down the waste disposal.
Poor Boris.
But I mean if I could just get his family
to come over for dinner,
'cause last time we hardly got to spend
any alone time together.
But do you really want to have your first kiss
when your parents are in the next room?
Megan, I wouldn't care if they were in the same room.
I just want to have had a kiss.
Yeah, fair enough, me too.
Sixteen's quite old,
and we've only got a few months of that left.
Exactly, we need to get a move on.
OK, let's make that our absolute deadline.
We will get it done by then.
Is it really just us two left?
Where did Saskia's boyfriend come from?
I know.
Pass him to me.
Do you want to go first?
OK
Goodbye, Boris, the loveliest of all the mice.
I mean Badger was very nice too
but you were less bitey.
And Boris, I'm sorry that you had to eat Badger.
I'm sure you didn't want to.
You're always a very loving brother.
I just should have fed you more.
I mean in a way we're burying two mice in one.
Yeah.
Rest in peace Boris and Badger.
(light music)
You know, I'm actually quite excited
to go back to school tomorrow.
[Maisy] Why?
It'll just be the same as always.
Now A levels are a big step up from GCSEs.
Differentiation, integration, exponentials and logarithms.
This is no GCSE picnic.
You can't just sit back and do no work like last year.
This is going to be a very difficult year.
You're really going to have to hit the ground running.
Hit the ground running.
Hit the ground...
First week of school,
you think they'd cut us some slack.
Copying Ethan's homework is such a drag.
His handwriting's a mess.
Well you're not having mine,
but why don't you just copy Ben's?
Hm... I did that last time, and meh.
Wait, what?
How did you get a B? But you copied me!
That's weird, let's see.
I did some of it myself.
[Rob] Right boys.
[Ethan] Yeah, here's where you went wrong, Ben.
Square's on it.
Oh shut up, Ethan.
I don't care.
(chattering)
Shh!
What you doing there, Sam?
[Ben Voiceover] Ben, it's Ben.
Is that history?
You've written a lot, let me see.
Well it's not finished yet.
Oh come on, let's have a look.
I'd rather you didn't.
[Rob] Look, just let me copy down the headings, OK?
"Bribery slash trasformismo"...
I have to go, actually.
Oh, come on!
I have to go.
Come on, just let me have a look.
You can't have it!
It's my work!
(light music)
[Maisy Voiceover] What shall I get Megan for Halloween?
What are we going to do actually?
It'll be a good excuse to go out I guess,
meet some guys,
make some headway on our first kisses.
We could go to that Goth club.
I'm sure if we dressed up as Goths
we'd pass for eighteen.
[Saskia] Detonate the bomb, detonate the bomb!
Don't you mean deactivate, Saskia?
(laughing)
Deactivate the bomb.
Guard it, guard it.
[Olivia] We've got it!
Maisy's had an accident!
(laughing and chattering)
Oh, they got my hair.
- That's disgusting. - So immature.
This is a secondary school.
Oh my God I look a mess.
Oh I look this bad and I saw Mr. Williams earlier.
Oh right, and what would have happened
if you weren't looking like that?
She would have got off with him.
She's got off with ten boys, let's not forget.
Gonna up that number at Halloween.
Shh.
Yeah actually I was wondering
what are we going to wear for Halloween?
You think it'll be too slutty
to go as a slutty nurse or a slutty angel?
Well, you could just go as a nurse
or as an angel.
Yeah, but which one is sluttier?
Well, everyone will be slutty anyway.
Well I was thinking pirate.
Well actually we were thinking of
maybe going to Alice's party for Halloween.
Right.
I hadn't actually heard about that.
I don't think she meant to leave you out or anything.
I mean... it's just you don't really know her.
What do you think I should wear, Maisy?
I don't know whether I should wear something
like an actually good costume
or maybe something supposedly sexy.
I mean I would usually wear a scary costume, but
what do you think?
Yeah, whatever.
Shall I ask if you can come?
Oh no.
It's fine, I've got other plans anyway.
[All] Trick or treat!
Oh aren't you adorable?
I'm afraid I haven't got any sweets.
But if you like, you can each choose a toothbrush.
- Thanks. - Thank you, thanks.
Bye.
A toothbrush?
I know.
Think she got some sweets?
[Maisy Voiceover] Four hours.
What could you possibly be doing for four hours?
Surely she couldn't be getting off with someone.
We're meant to be in this together.
Right, a couple more houses then we'll go home.
Come on Maisy, don't be so miserable.
We'll have way more fun.
You can sort out the sweets if you like.
I know you like that.
It's just so unfair.
Oh come on Maisy, it's not so bad.
Loads of my friends haven't kissed anyone.
(giggling)
You haven't kissed anyone?
I've kissed three boys.
Oh, ha ha ha, well make your own way home.
[Ben Voiceover] I do like magnetism.
A Ben specialty you might say.
I'm definitely going to make a comeback on this.
It's pretty much like that one last year
that was best in the class.
Why is Jamie top of the class now?
Oh for heaven's sake, move on to the next bit.
You obviously can't do it.
All right, calm down.
Where's your Halloween spirit?
That's easy for you to say.
You do nothing, absolutely nothing.
I've been working on this physics project all week
and I'm not accepting anything less
than an A this time.
(sombre piano music)
(glass clinking)
Welcome to another year at the Tennison Witch Academy.
Now, as I'm sure you're all aware
we have a new teacher joining our staff.
Paddington Bear!
Now I want everyone to make him feel very welcome
because we'll have no speciesism at this school.
Thank you Professor Maisy.
Now that's all cleared up,
let's enjoy the wonderful magical meal
we have prepared, invisible soup!
I'm so looking forward to potions this year.
I really can't wait to...
(phone ringing)
Oh, it's Megan.
Hey.
[Megan] Oh my God Maisy, so much happened last night!
Oh yeah, I completely forgot.
You went to that party thing, didn't you?
How was it?
[Megan] I'm really sorry
I didn't reply to any of your texts.
I think I left my phone in my coat all night.
It was really embarrassing actually.
Basically, I kissed his guy.
Oh, wow.
So what was it like?
[Megan] Well we were both really drunk
so the kiss itself wasn't that great
but he was really hot.
But then afterwards he passed out.
This is the really embarrassing bit though,
I wrote my number on a napkin
and put it in his pocket.
Well, congratulations.
Anyway, I guess I'll see you at school.
So who's that guy that she got with?
I can't remember his name.
Oh, um... Jonas!
- Oh hey Maisy. - Hey!
Wait, let me get you a punk.
Sorry Maisy, I guess it was a kind of
had to be there thing.
Oh right.
Oh God, when Elliot started smashing up that chair
I was like actually scared.
I know and I can't believe how drunk James was
like I've never seen him like that ever.
I know, he was all over everyone.
Is there anyone he didn't get off with?
(laughs)
So how was your weekend, Maisy?
Actually it was really fun.
Yeah, we went trick or treating
and I got these really cool sweets.
Some people just give you the weirdest stuff though
like this one lady...
Oh my God.
I just remembered how hilarious was it
when we were just about to leave
and Megan was like, no wait, I haven't got his number!
Oh so embarrassing.
Guys, can we just talk about something else?
Oh yeah, sorry Maisy.
I totally forgot you didn't come.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
It wasn't very nice of Alice not to invite you.
She probably just thought you wouldn't enjoy it.
Why wouldn't I enjoy it?
It wasn't the kind of thing you'd like.
People were smoking and drinking
and it was just basically like
everyone getting off each other.
But I would quite like that stuff.
We could have a party at mine actually, the four of us.
[Maisy Voiceover] Uh, that's not a party.
Oh right,
so just anything cool now isn't a Maisy thing
Oh no, poor innocent Maisy, she only likes playing games.
She wouldn't possibly like anything fun.
Better just leave her out.
Bloody hell, they think I'm so boring, so predictable?
Well I'll show them.
(students chattering)
Hi.
Is it OK if I sit with you guys?
So, long time no see, Katelyn.
What have you guys been up to anyway?
As I was saying,
yeah they've got like the nicest little powder blue dress
in the window.
Is she even friends with them?
I didn't know she was friends with them.
No, me neither.
Definitely, that sounds amazing.
And you look so hot in blue.
Jason is gonna be all over you.
[Katelyn] So we'll swing by after school
and you can see it.
Yeah, definitely.
That would be awesome.
Yeah, awesome.
So meet outside at four?
Errr... Yeah.
Yeah.
We'll see you then.
You can clear this up for us, yeah?
I'll see you later then.
[Ben Voiceover] I love that feeling you get in your tummy
when you know you've done something well.
(knocking)
Almost like nervous in anticipation of the praise.
Ah, you'll be wanting your projects back.
Hang on a moment.
Very good, Jamie.
Here you go, Ben.
Come and see me tomorrow lunchtime.
One or two things I want to discuss with you.
OK.
(rock music)
I'll catch you guys up in a second.
I'm just gonna go to the toilet first.
OK.
(screaming)
♪ Cold air hits my face ♪
Fuck!
♪ I feel like a disgrace ♪
Fuck
♪ Put my best and got nothing out ♪
♪ Now all I got is self doubt ♪
♪ Returning ♪
♪ Home a failure ♪
Can't do it!
Fucking hell!
♪ Returning ♪
♪ Home a failure ♪
About time.
[Ben] Sorry.
There was a really long queue.
A really long poo?
[Ben] Shut up, Luke.
All right, let's get off.
I've got loads of homework to do.
Oh, fuck homework.
I'm not doing that shit anymore.
We're wasting our lives.
We need to get out more.
Have some fun!
Yes.
That's what I'm always telling you wet-arses.
We can have fun.
Just as long as it doesn't cut into my work schedule.
We have until 5:45.
Want to come back to mine and play Pokemon?
Yes, I need to train up my Wobbuffet
before the next convention.
Wobbuffet's a shit Pokemon.
But it has such high defence stats.
Oh my God, you are so not getting it.
This is our problem.
We're just not cool.
Or is it, we're just too hot? (chuckling)
I'm being serious, guys.
We never get invited to parties.
People don't say hi to us in the corridors.
And lately sometimes people even call me
a geek to my face.
And for what?
If I really was a geek,
at least I'd be getting good grades.
Nah I think you're thinking of a nerd.
See geeks don't have to be clever.
They're a like, er, well losers.
Really, is that the official difference?
You guys aren't listening to me.
I want to go to parties and stuff.
Why don't you go to Rob Kogan's party?
Isn't that next week?
But I can't just go, can I?
I'm not invited.
Yeah, why not?
Why am I not invited?
Isn't it obvious?
I'm not invited.
A house party might be fun.
I bet there'd be girls there.
Yeah, actually this might be a good idea.
Good thinking, Ben.
But we won't be able to get in.
We're not invited.
Oh stop being such a pussy, Ben.
It's a house party.
Nobody knows who's invited anyway.
Well, where even is it?
I'll get in touch with my higher contacts.
What higher contacts?
Just leave it to me.
(upbeat music)
Right guys.
I've made a mission book.
A what?
Ethan, your target is James Johnson.
You guys do music together
so he might talk to you.
Ben, you'll take, Thomas Cunningham.
He's cool but he's stupid
so if you're clever, you might be able
to get a bit of information out.
Meanwhile, Luke and I,
we're going to eavesdrop our arses off.
Understood?
[Luke And Ben] Yes sir.
I am so excited about Rob Kogan's party.
I know.
It's gonna be amaze.
I was thinking about wearing that sparkly gold dress.
You know the one?
Oh yeah, I love that dress.
I'm so excited for you that you bought it.
Rob has the best parties.
[Amber] You remember the last one?
I know, his house.
Oh my God, with Sasha's ID.
[Lizzie] Oh yeah we need to get that again.
[Katelyn] We're having Sambuca
- Preparty! - Flaming Sambuca.
Who's Rob Kogan?
Oh he's like this mediocrely hot guy from Woodside.
I used to go out with his brother,
who was way hotter but he has some alright friends.
[Maisy Voiceover] Alright friends?
They sound like potential boyfriends.
Can I come?
Er...
Yeah.
Your Dad can drive us, can't he?
Yeah, of course.
So shall I just wear that dress
that I got for the annual gathering?
No, no.
Don't wear any of your stuff actually.
Buy something new.
OK.
Mum says blue is really my colour.
(laughing) God Maisy, you're so cute.
Isn't she?
So glad to have you back, Mais.
Right guys, I've got to go and meet Jason
so I'm gonna go love you and leave you.
Oh, don't you just love Maisy's kisses.
They're so like, unpracticed.
OK, so we're going this way.
I guess we'll see you later?
I'm going this way too actually.
Oh, no actually,
we have to do something else first.
Oh yeah we actually need to go that way, so.
Oh yeah.
Bye.
[Maisy Voiceover] Does Katelyn like me?
I think she likes me.
She definitely used to like me in primary school.
Do I add anything?
They think I'm cute.
I can work with cute.
Yeah, I'm Maisy the cute one of the group.
(laughing)
You know what I've discovered,
you don't want to not hand your work in at all.
All you need to do is make no effort, but still hand in
because they can't tell you off for being stupid.
Yes, that is the dream.
Ben.
OK, all right.
There's Thomas Cunningham.
Go and ask him, Ben!
Why don't you go and ask him?
It's your job.
Jamie said so, remember?
- Oh, this is a stupid idea. - Go on!
Hey, Thomas Cunningham.
Thomas.
Tom?
What?
So I was just wondering what you're up to this weekend.
I don't know, why?
Oh, I was just wondering if you're going
to that Rob Kogan party thing.
Yeah maybe, I don't really like to plan.
I just sort of see where the night takes me.
Me too, me too.
So, um, if the night was to take you there, say,
like,
where would that be exactly?
What?
Don't worry.
I have to go.
Right.
Mission debriefing time.
What did you guys find out?
Ben? Ethan?
Useless.
Thomas is very rude, actually.
Just walking off.
Well you guys are the most terrible detectives.
You're lucky to have stealthy friends
such as Luke and I.
[Ben] You actually got it?
How?
Let's just say I've got it.
He paid Ariana to tell us.
(light guitar music)
So, this is Maisy's first big party.
You will look after her, won't you?
So what goes on at these parties nowadays?
Lots of drinking and sex, I expect.
No!
Dad, please, shut up.
Don't worry, sweetie.
I trust you won't get up to those sort of things.
Oh, that reminds me, you did remember
to put your Sylvanians game away, didn't you?
Mummy did ask.
Dad, those are Holly's toys, they're not mine.
You still play with Sylvanians?
How cute.
I don't.
I don't, they're not my toys.
Have you been drunk before, Maisy?
Yeah.
- Sure? - Obviously
When was the last time you were drunk?
Like, Saturday?
I thought your Dad said that this was
your first party though, so
(rock music)
(crowd chattering)
♪ OK ♪
(upbeat dance music)
Come on Maisy, join in!
I can't really dance.
♪ Freedom of speech ♪
♪ Ain't the freedom we teach ♪
♪ What freedom we preach ♪
♪ So what you gonna say about that ♪
♪ I'm ready to stand my ground ♪
♪ I'm ready to stand my ground tonight ♪
♪ I'm ready to stand my ♪
I mean like,
this whole idea which is given to us
is like energy needing to be made
or sourcing from something.
Like, energy can make itself.
We have to keep paying for all the energy in our world
but that's, you know, that's just the government.
You know? That's just, that's what they wanna do.
So corrupt.
[Girl] Yeah, right?
So corrupt.
Yeah, completely.
It's like, just so corrupt.
Yeah, corrupt.
Yeah, man.
Hey, do you wanna go outside? Or -
Never have I ever given Ryan a blow job behind the shed.
[Group] Ellie.
That was one time.
Never have I ever
kissed someone of the same sex.
Never have I ever
had sex.
[Girl] Oh that's such a boring one!
I suspected.
How far have you been, actually?
Yeah, how far, Maisy?
Like what base?
Wouldn't you guys like to know.
Is there anything to know?
I'm beginning to wonder.
Well, we know you haven't had sex or given a blow job.
I've never been to second base.
What exactly counts as second base?
(chattering)
It's like a hand job or fingering.
Oh my God.
OK, wait. Um...
OK, never -
I have never been kissed.
Oh, phew.
I was genuinely getting a bit worried about you there.
Never have I ever seen a guy naked.
Ooh.
Maisy's seen a guy naked.
Who?
You have to tell us.
Oh it's just this guy.
Who, Maisy?
Is it someone we know?
No, I don't think so.
Well then tell us.
OK. Um...
Yeah it was just this guy called
Nathan Beals-Harper.
What was it like?
Was he fit?
Oh yeah.
Nathan Beals-Harper's really, really fit.
Ooh, Maisy got lucky.
So, what was it like?
You know, it was fun.
No I mean how was it?
It was how it normally is.
How big was it?
Was it hard?
Yeah actually it was really hard.
So he had an erection?
No, it's just normal.
Hang on, Maisy.
How was it hard then?
Don't ask me, you know, it was just the way it was.
Maybe we should find out from Nathan himself.
No, no don't, please.
Why not?
Actually, it wasn't him, it was another guy.
Did you lie?
No, I didn't just.
Maisy, have you even kissed a boy?
I'm going to go to the toilet.
Should I feel bad?
I was thinking in the mouth.
Shaft in the mouth and then tiny balls on the cheek.
Oh yeah.
I don't know, it's just like
when my Grandma died I just felt,
it's like I wish I spent time with her. It's really hard.
Yeah I know exactly how you feel.
It's like when my snake died, I thought...
That's really not the same thing.
That's not the same thing at all.
[Girl] It's really not.
(crowd chattering)
(bass thumping in background)
Hey.
Hi.
Cool party.
Yeah.
A long toilet queue.
I know.
Actually alcohol inhibits the chemical in the kidneys
that cause the reabsorption of water from the loop of Henle
so that if you drink more, you get more liquid
passing through your body and
basically, people pee more parties and stuff.
(chuckling)
Luckily I don't really need the toilet that much.
So why are you in the queue?
Well.
I don't know where else to be, I guess.
That's kind of weird.
But I, I do know what you mean.
(distant vomiting)
[Boy] Oh mate.
We need to go.
Oh, OK.
Well, goodbye then.
Ethan!
Is it normal if I'm kind of dizzy?
Do I need a doctor?
You know what else would make us cool?
We start a band!
Do you think she's my girlfriend?
You know what, that's actually a good idea.
♪ Ooh ♪
(knocking)
- Hey Dad! - Dad!
Alright
Oh, thank you.
[Ben] Do you want me to take that?
Yes please, there you go.
All right.
Hey!
Come here you, oh so good to see you!
Alright, let's get inside.
♪ We'll have a wonderful time ♪
♪ In this beautiful town ♪
♪ Oooh ♪
♪ Wow ♪
♪ Oooh ♪
(sighs)
♪ One two three four! ♪
(drum rolling)
(rock music)
♪ Well I can't touch this and I can't touch that ♪
(incoherent instruments playing)
Well, er
That sounded pretty good actually.
[Luke] Shall we try a different song now?
[Ben] Yeah.
One, two, three, four.
Ben.
I thought we were gonna do some physics today?
Well, we can't now, can we, the band's practising.
I thought you had your January mocks coming up soon.
Dad, it's fine.
I'm not stupid.
It's fine, I don't need to study.
I've always got the band to fall back on anyway.
Right.
One, two, three, four.
(incoherent instruments playing)
(students chattering)
Oh, Ben, I've got your mock.
I meant to give it to you earlier.
Oh yeah, how was it?
The points you made were good
but you need a more structured essay plan.
You know, Thomas wrote a great essay actually.
I'm sure he'd let you look at it for some pointers.
OK.
(giggling)
Is it OK if I borrow this?
No, someone's sitting here.
(girls chattering)
Good morning, school.
Today as I promised I will read you
another essay from this book of English essays.
This one is about the school play we'll be watching
in about a week's time, Macbeth.
It's called "On The Knocking at the Gate of Macbeth".
This is a century of English essays here
means 100 English essays.
Very interesting one to put in your notebook.
[Ben Voiceover] Look at them, just going along with it,
doing what they're told.
It's always exactly the same,
nothing ever happens.
It's all so ridiculous.
I'm not a part of it anymore.
That used to be me
but now I'm one of the stupid ones.
One of the fucking stupid ones.
Pointers from Thomas Cunningham's essay?
Thomas Cunningham is an idiot
and everyone knows it.
But I guess I can learn from him now.
He can teach me?
Fucking stupid Ben.
They all think I'm just withholding some sort
of great intelligence.
But no, this is me, just stupid Ben.
Fuck!
Look at them all.
So quiet, so good.
Good grades, a good future.
They all know what they're doing.
It's just me.
Officially more stupid than Thomas Cunningham.
I should do something.
Shit, I really should.
Just go for it.
Shock them all out of their stupid heads.
Yeah, yeah!
Fuck!
(rock music)
♪ I just wanna cut my hair ♪
♪ But I can't bring myself to do it ♪
♪ Because I'm scared of scissors ♪
♪ I just wanna talk to you but I can't ♪
♪ Because my Mommy says I shouldn't talk to strangers ♪
♪ I just wanna go to sleep ♪
♪ But I can't because it always feels ♪
♪ Like I'm procrastinating ♪
♪ I don't wanna waste my time ♪
♪ But I do because I can't find the motivation ♪
Like, you remember when we had that really,
really bad argument?
Who were you talking to?
- Henry. - Henry.
Wait, lets all get in
and then start from the beginning again.
[Katelyn] Oh yeah, let's snuggle.
I like to snuggle.
(giggling)
[Lizzie] Say what happened.
Thanks.
Oh, sorry Maisy.
There's not really room in the bed.
You'll have to sleep on the floor.
Oh, OK.
You can use the cushions in the corner if you like.
Or there's a blanket in the other room.
(girls chattering)
Oh I couldn't really hear what you guys were saying
from over there.
Oh
It's just, we're kind of discussing some stuff
we can't really share.
Yeah, Amber's going through some stuff
she doesn't necessarily want to tell everybody.
Sorry.
Right.
No, I understand.
(girls chattering)
[Amber] There was about, probably about...
Anyone we know?
(girls chattering over each other)
Actually, you know what,
I think I'm just gonna go.
Oh, I didn't wanna say anything
but that's probably for the best.
Yeah, no offence.
What?
It's just, we used to like you, like this much.
And now we like you this much.
[Lizzie] And for reference,
we like each other this much.
(tense rock music)
[Ben Voiceover] Do I know that girl?
Oh my God, it is.
It's alcohol makes you pee girl.
Does she recognise me?
[Maisy Voiceover] Oh shit, I know that boy.
Should I sit next to him?
Is it weirder to sit or not sit?
Looks like I sat.
I better talk to him.
But what can I say?
Say something!
Anything?
[Ben Voiceover] If one of us doesn't say something soon,
this is gonna be a painfully weird bus journey.
She's the one that sat here.
[Maisy Voiceover] Well it's too late now.
I've just completely fucked this up.
Of all the empty seats in the bus
why am I in the one next to him?
What should I do?
I mean I can't just start talking
with headphones in.
But if I took them out, that looks so keen.
Maybe if they just fell out,
then I could start a conversation.
Oh damn.
Maybe if I just sit it out he won't remember me.
Hey.
Do I know you from that party?
Which one?
I've been to so many.
Actually, I've been to one party and it was that one so
yes, probably.
Pretty good party.
Yeah, it was good.
Did you have fun?
Yeah.
Yeah, me too.
Well.
No?
Me neither, it was awful.
What have you on there?
Can I have a listen?
Yeah, OK.
Ah, Linkin Park, I was just listening to them.
Blink.
[Maisy Voiceover] Oh I hope he doesn't see
that Blazin' Squad song.
It was on the party CD.
It wasn't a planned purchase.
Blazin' Squad?
That's embarrassing.
OK, look, I got a lot of old stuff on there.
Excuses, excuses.
Don't worry, I'm not judging.
Oh my God, you have Sunny Day Real Estate!
OK look, if you're just gonna make fun of me
give it back.
No, I really like them, they're good.
Don't be so sensitive.
Anyway I was just surprised.
You have a lot of the same music as me.
This is exactly like my soundtrack to fifteen.
Your what?
Oh it's just this thing I do.
It's kind of silly.
I get all the music I listen to a lot of in a year,
and put it on a CD.
So it's kind of like each age has its own soundtrack.
That's a really cool idea.
So it's kind of like a diary?
Yeah I guess.
How long have you been doing it?
Since I was eleven.
That's when I really first started getting into music.
But God, nobody's ever going to hear my
soundtrack to eleven.
You think this is embarrassing.
[Ben Voiceover] Was that funny?
I am pretty funny.
I should bring up my band.
That would sound cool.
Should I just be like, what are your hobbies?
Are you in a band?
No Ben, this isn't a German oral.
Hmm, maybe I should ask her,
Have you ever heard of Silbermond?
Nah, I hadn't really expected you to.
It's this German band my friend Luke really likes.
They're really good.
My band's doing a cover of one of their songs actually.
What, you're in a band?
Yeah.
We're just starting out
but we haven't had much time to practise
'cause work's always getting in the way
but we're all right.
So what are you doing A levels?
AS.
Same here.
So stressful.
Oh, don't remind me.
I'm completely failing physics.
Really?
See, physics is fine but history
is just a total disaster.
I got three A's and a C in the mocks and
everyone just won't shut up about the C.
[Ben Voiceover] Three A's?
That should have been me.
I should be working now.
Remember something, remember something.
[Maisy Voiceover] Oh God, I should be revising right now.
Could I be revising?
I haven't got any stuff with me.
I'll go home now.
Wait, I'm on my way home.
God, that C.
I saw Megan got an A, but
I can't just ask her for help.
Megan is my best friend.
She used to be my best friend.
We sort of fell out.
I've actually fallen out with all my friends.
And my sister.
[Ben Voiceover] Wasn't there something
called a wanker engine?
Oh, I'm sorry.
[Ben Voiceover] Shit, what did she say?
Should I put my arm around her?
Is that weird?
What happened?
Well, I had these old friends and,
and then I had these new friends and
and I just didn't really fit in with them I guess.
[Ben Voiceover] Say something good.
Think of something sad.
Say something really thoughtful.
Oh no, poor you.
Why?
They just, they made this really big deal
about the fact that I haven't done anything,
anything with a boy.
I don't know why I'm telling you this.
But you know, it just happens to be the case.
It's purely in a matter of circumstance
and the way everyone bangs on about it,
it's like it's a defining feature about me.
And it's not. It really,
it has nothing to do with my personality
and it has nothing to do with what I like. It's...
Calm down.
We're only sixteen.
Look, I haven't been very far either
if it makes you feel any better.
I think you're overthinking it.
Really?
Yeah, and I'm sorry about your friends.
I guess luckily for me most of mine
haven't gone very far either.
Well, not very successfully anyway.
God, where are we?
Well, I didn't really know
where I was going in the first place.
We'll have to get off and get the bus
back in the other direction.
(light music)
Are you wearing pyjamas?
Yes.
(laughs)
You must be freezing.
We could always, if you wanted to, huddle together.
Just if you wanted to.
Yeah.
Oh, this is really near my house.
I'm getting off the next stop.
Well, it's been really nice.
Are you going back home now?
Yeah.
Well, have a nice life?
Will we not see each other again?
Can I have your number?
We could revise together sometime.
I could help you with history.
Yeah, that would be really nice.
(light rock music)
♪ Take the cycles of four seasons ♪
♪ Can't seem to find a reason ♪
♪ Keep on living ♪
♪ It gets closer ♪
I'll race you to the swings.
I still don't understand though.
Why did Mussolini want to invade Abyssinia?
Well that's mainly because of the resources.
But we can look over it later if you like.
And Kristallnacht, that was 1938, right?
Yes, Maisy, take a break.
No, I'm just gonna check.
No, come on Maisy, take your mind off it for a minute.
If I can't remember it now
I'm not going to remember in the exam, am I?
Oh, Ben!
♪ Found you in my backpack ♪
♪ Hiding in amongst the bricolage ♪
♪ I wanted to tell you ♪
♪ I don't know why ♪
♪ I guess I need to share these things ♪
♪ Play on words ♪
♪ Only honest when they're slurred ♪
♪ Only honest when we both forget to grip ♪
♪ Play on words ♪
♪ Or sit in silence if preferred ♪
[Luke] Oh guys, it's Ben. Hey Ben!
[Ethan] Hey Ben.
We're gonna play some football.
Do you wanna join?
This is Maisy.
Hi.
Got Ethan, Luke, Jamie.
- Hi. - Hi.
Two on two?
But there are five of us.
Jamie doesn't really count.
You'll see.
Maisy!
Hey, pass back, Maisy.
Shoot, shoot!
Goal!
(toilet flushing)
Hey.
So how've you been?
Why are you talking to me?
Just making conversation.
Yeah, but why now, Maisy?
You randomly stopped seeing me, remember?
You haven't spoken to me in months.
Yeah, sorry.
(students chattering)
(laughing)
(girls chattering)
Argh!
Jamie, Jamie.
Why weren't you, ow, why weren't you defending?
I was right here.
But you weren't there.
You weren't there, Jamie.
- I'm in this area! - Jamie!
(light piano music)
[Teacher] OK, quiet guys, pair up and let's go.
Oh hey Amanda, do you want to be a pair?
Sorry, I said I'd go with Megan.
[Megan] Hey.
Hey.
Um, sir, can we go on the three, please?
[Teacher] Yeah, sure.
- Give in one more go. - Come on.
We can do this, Ben.
See yeah, then if you want the wavelength
you've just got to make this triangle here.
And this distance, that's capital D
and then if you want to work out the fringe spacing
from that, all you need to do is...
Yeah?
Maisy?
Huh, what?
Who's that?
Oh, that's just Nathan Beals-Harper.
So what's the fringe spacing?
Oh, you know actually,
this book's got some really good examples of it.
Yeah, here.
If you just do those
'cause I should probably do my history essay and stuff.
[Ben Voiceover] What does she see in that idiot?
He looks like a twat.
Ask her something.
How do you get the
oh no, it does give the fringe spacing.
Oh well, I'll ask anyway.
Desperate measures.
Hey Maisy, how do you work out the wavelength
if it doesn't give you the fringe spacing?
I don't actually know.
I mean, I think I might go and ask Nathan.
Oh no, I get it, I see it now.
Hi.
We're just doing this question and...
[Ben Voiceover] Oh yes, now she's happy.
Isn't Nathan such a delight?
All he has to do is ignore her.
So charming.
"Ooh, Nathan, you're so clever and amazing.
"Ben's really stupid and doesn't understand
"a basic equation."
"Can you do his homework for him?"
Thanks, Nathan.
You're so clever.
[Ben Voiceover] Just, if a comet hit tomorrow,
that would be it.
Maybe some of us would survive though.
Hide out in the garage and start up a new civilization.
There's limited space in the garage.
I guess I'd have to have the family.
It's their garage too but I'd have to think tactically
about who I need in my new society.
Ethan and Jamie probably know a lot.
They could build up the more technical side.
Luke, he'd be some extra muscle.
We'd need some girls for breeding though.
I could bring Maisy.
Nathan couldn't come.
He's obviously useless.
Unless he could be my servant.
He could be my cat carrier.
I could have one of those Persian cats.
'Cause I'd be the ruler.
Would I have to hold elections
or would it just be obvious?
Nah, not Nathan.
I have to have a cat carrier I actually liked.
Nathan can die in the apocalypse.
(coughs)
Hey Nathan, would you mind moving your bags?
Oh my God.
[Maisy Voiceover] You know what, I'm good.
I'm really bloody good.
There aren't many people as good as me
when I put my mind to it.
I've been the best that I can be.
If he doesn't see that, he is obviously a dick.
You know who is good, Ben.
Ben will make me feel better.
(ticking)
How is it you're doing better than me at physics?
You never do any work.
Don't know. (phone buzzing)
Guess I'm just clever.
Well you can't complain about it.
I only did physics 'cause you made me.
I don't need it.
I'm gonna be a TV presenter.
So unfair.
(phone clicking)
I guess it helps you don't really do any other subjects.
Um, yeah, I do.
I do German, Media Studies and Drama.
You do German second language, Luke.
German's your first language.
You speak German at home.
Germany's better at football.
(phone buzzing)
(phone clicking)
Who are you texting all the time?
You're not supposed to be texting
in the library anyway.
Hmm.
Saw Nathan in the library.
Who's this Nathan guy?
Let's see your other texts.
No, give that back.
- No, come on. - Give that back!
Come on!
No, come on
Nathan's this stupid twat she really fancies.
Wait, isn't she your girlfriend?
Of course not.
I never said that.
Oh, she's a friend.
(laughs)
OK, that's enough.
Oh come on.
All right, give that back
or your Charizard's getting released.
Fine.
Can the people with no ambition
please go to the other end of the table?
Look, do you wanna be her friend?
Just play a bit of hard to get.
[Ben Voiceover] You should ask him out.
Lol, sticky out tongue face.
(phone buzzing)
(rock music)
♪ Slow, you're coming slow ♪
♪ I feel you crawl ♪
♪ I see right through you ♪
Hey Maisy, do you like my cartoon?
Ben, do some work.
Yeah, but look.
Ben, I'm trying to do a past paper.
Hey Maisy, why is this a negative here?
Oh, it's 'cause you're not minusing a minus.
You're minusing a minus minus.
What?
Come on Ben, it's really simple.
(pen clicking)
(papers flipping)
(clicking)
(click)
OK look, Ben, if you don't wanna work, that's fine
but can you just shut up so I can at least
get on with some stuff?
God, calm down.
Why are you so stressy?
'Cause in case you hadn't noticed
our exam is a week away.
I thought you especially would be a bit more concerned.
Me especially?
You think I should be more concerned than you?
No, I just mean more concerned than the average person.
'Cause I thought you wanted to get an A.
Oh, so you don't think I can get an A now?
I didn't say that.
I knew it.
I knew you thought I was stupid.
Ben, I don't think you're stupid.
I just, I think you have
slightly unrealistic expectations sometimes.
Well, thanks for your concern, Maisy.
But I guess you're not concerned enough
to actually help me when I ask for it
or reply to my texts.
Oh, yeah, right
'cause I should ask out Nathan, LOL.
No, shut up.
Actually, yeah, let me tell you something
about your precious Nathan.
He's a dick.
Ben, you don't even know him.
I've seen him and I know his type.
But you know what, ask him out, don't ask him out.
I don't give a shit.
Oh, fine.
Yeah, you're right, Ben,
I do think you're completely thick,
really really stupid, a complete idiot.
And you know what, realistically,
you're probably gonna get a B and two Cs.
Maybe an A in history on a good day.
Was that what you wanted to hear?
You're not gonna get four As.
To be honest, the idea of someone like you
even applying to Oxbridge is laughable.
Oh, fuck you, Maisy!
You want to be realistic?
Like Nathan would ever go out with someone like you.
It's embarrassing the way you follow him around
all the time and he totally ignores you.
He's just shy.
He's not shy.
He's clearly really popular.
And would never go out with someone like you
who hasn't got any friends.
Well I had thought you were my friend, Ben.
I'm not your friend, Maisy.
(rock music)
♪ I try to pretend ♪
♪ I didn't hear it ♪
♪ So I did offend but ♪
♪ No going near it ♪
♪ Don't know I guess whatever ♪
[Saskia] Hey, Maisy.
Oh, hey guys.
Are you OK?
Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm great.
Maisy.
It's just, you know,
I've been having such a great time
with Katelyn and people recently,
I've just, just been worried about work.
Oh, right, OK.
Wait, how are you guys doing?
What have you been up to?
Well, you know, stuff.
Yeah so how is Katelyn these days then?
Actually, yeah she's really good.
Like we've just become so close.
The other day we went to this party and then we had...
I guess, you know I've been
just concentrating so much on work recently
I haven't seen much of people.
Right, well.
We better get going.
Yeah, I better catch up with
I can't do this shit question!
Stupid bloody Maisy, so bloody clever.
"Hard to get" rubbish German second language!
(snapping)
(tense rock music)
Mooo
[Maisy Voiceover] Calm down.
You are prepared.
Tomorrow will be fine.
You have everything you need.
I haven't got a clear plastic pencil case!
(dramatic rock music)
(retching)
[Ben Voiceover] Oh dear
I still don't understand anything.
It'll be OK though.
I'll just do my best.
No it won't.
Tomorrow! Tomorrow!
Right.
If I don't sleep and work all night
I might be able to get through some of it by the morning.
I'll make a list of everything I don't understand
and make myself a little timetable.
Hmm, OK, if I can just understand two things per hour
then I'll be ready.
How do I still not understand
this double slits bullshit yet?
It's OK, it's OK.
If I just understand three things per hour.
Oh, forget it!
OK, OK, stay calm.
No point in panicking now.
Maybe you understand more than you think.
OK let's do a paper and see.
(tense music)
Did I sleep!?
OK.
Keep calm, keep calm.
Let's just keep going.
Figure 9.2 shows a skier of mass 76 kilogrammes.
Calculate the weight of the skier.
Times it by gravity, easy.
Component of the weight in the direction
parallel to the slope.
Parallel.
Component of the weight in the direction parallel
to the slope.
Hypotenuse currently measured to scale.
These answers to tell you fuck all!
(screaming)
I'm getting worse by the second.
Right, we'll be OK, we'll be OK.
We just need to use our time efficiently.
OK, I'm making an executive decision for company Ben.
We need to spend our time resources
on what'll be most profitable.
Let's take a break from physics, get your head straight.
Do a bit of history.
(tense music)
Giolitti and the response to change.
Vatican failed to recognise the Italian state.
At least I can do history.
Shame I have a physics exam in,
four hours, oh my God, I have an A level
physics exam in four hours!
What the fuck am I doing studying history?
No, no, not the morning.
The exam is today! Shit!
(tense music)
I'm going to do really badly.
I thought I was good at physics
but I'm just not.
I should never have taken it.
Everyone will feel so sorry for me.
They all know how hard I've been working lately.
Maybe I shouldn't go.
Then people won't think I'm stupid.
They'll just think I'm disorganised and kooky
and miss the exam.
Wow, that really is a genuine solution.
Skip the exam, cut your losses.
What a relief.
I'll have a nice relaxed day revising history.
[Maisy Voiceover] I hope he's not freaking out.
Actually no, he deserves to be freaking out.
(keys clacking)
(chiming)
(keys clacking)
[Ben Voiceover] Such a relief not to be doing the exam.
People will already be there by now
stressing out, going mad.
So glad I'm not one of them.
I can just imagine them now
wondering where I am.
Luke won't care.
But I bet Ethan will totally be freaking out
chewing on his pencils like a lunatic.
Hah, suitably shocked just like I thought.
Though it's not like she was expecting
much of me anyway.
"Realistically, you're probably going to get a B"
"and two Cs, maybe an A in history on a good day."
A, B, and two Cs.
That's not actually that bad.
Could I even get a C?
Yeah I probably could.
And if I study history,
they probably won't care that much
about the C in physics.
They will care if I don't go to my exams though!
Maisy?
Ben, you've got to go to your exam!
- I know! - Come on, I can cycle you.
This doesn't change anything, you know.
I'm still angry at you.
I'm only doing this so you can bring down
the average mark.
You know, make my A look even better.
Just leave it.
(tense music)
Maisy.
Ben, go, I didn't just nearly give myself
a heart attack for nothing.
Thank you.
And make sure you go to your maths exam tomorrow!
Maisy, what about your physics exam?
Different board, afternoon exam.
Ben, where have you been?
Get to your exam, hurry!
There's a space up here.
(tense music)
If you open your papers, you may begin.
[Ben Voiceover] Well, that wasn't so bad.
If I had some sleep, it could even have been a B.
(chattering)
(light piano music)
(phone buzzing)
OK, you can take your seats now and get ready.
Coats and bags at the back,
hand your phones in to me at the front.
(light guitar music)
(knocking)
Hey, I was just wondering if you want to do something.
Thought you didn't play with children anymore.
Yeah, I know, I'm sorry Holly.
I shouldn't have been so grumpy with you.
But I knew you wouldn't forgive me that easily
so I also brought you these.
I thought maybe the badgers could do
with a hand in the bakery.
Are we playing whoever you want
whenever you want or specific families?
I thought we could play specific families
and then you could play with new ones.
Yeah, it works better with the money too.
(tapping)
[Maisy] Oh hello, Mrs. Rabbit.
[Holly] Oh hello, Mrs. Lamb.
Lovely day, is it not?
I am having the most dreadful day.
Haven't you heard? I just caught my husband Mr. Lamb
cheating on me with Mrs. Panda!
[Holly] Oh, Mrs. Lamb, what a scoundrel!
How did you find out?
[Maisy] Well, Mr. Otter saw them getting it on
behind the bakery last night!
(laughs) Maisy!
Getting it on?
(phone buzzing)
I know, it's absolutely shocking.
But anyway, how is everything going with you?
And you can turn over your papers now.
[Maisy Voiceover] To what extent were Mussolini's
economic policies successful in the years 1922 to 40?
Shit, I definitely missed out that chapter.
(tense music)
(sombre music)
[Invigilator] You have 20 minutes remaining.
Put down your pens now.
[Maisy Voiceover] Don't cry yet, come on.
Megan.
Maisy, that went so badly today,
and I haven't had any sleep at all. (sobbing)
Look, I'm sure it wasn't that bad.
Don't worry, it's fine.
(light piano music)
[Ben] Hey Maisy.
We made it.
Hi guys.
I'm Olivia.
Hey girls, I'm Luke.
Hi.
So, party at Ben's?
Well, more of a gathering.
You guys are coming.
I might just...
Yeah, we're so up for a party.
No, more of a jam.
A do, maybe.
I know what you're thinking.
That exam was horrific.
Mhmm.
But you know what I was thinking in it?
What does it even matter?
If all this goes wrong, look what we're left with.
But Ben, I don't care about friends,
I just want to be left with four A's.
You don't have to prove it to anyone, Maisy.
You shouldn't judge yourself based on your grades.
I've stopped doing it
and it worked out for me. (chuckles)
Thanks, Ben.
I'm really sorry I called you stupid, you're not.
You're actually really thoughtful.
Yeah I'm just bad at physics.
I'm not gonna be a physicist now, that's for sure.
And I'm sorry too for what I said about,
well, everything I said.
I'm really glad we're friends.
Me too.
(upbeat guitar music)
OK it's like a monkey.
It's like you put it on your clothing.
Your turn, explain it.
Say anything!
- It's like a monkey. - An ape?
When you do something about and you go really red.
- Blushing. - Yep.
Um... Uh
And it's got the face.
Ah, time, time.
It's got the face like the face.
The thing.
Russian, no queen, no.
Raccoon.
Racoon is not a monkey!
That's not a monkey.
Isn't it?
(laughs)
(giggling and laughing)
Everyone is just falling over.
It's a bit crazy.
I have some of my Sunny Day Real Estate CDs up here
if you want to borrow them.
[Maisy] Yeah, that'd be great.
It's lovely.
I made this for you actually just after we met.
And, um
I put some of them on there already.
[Maisy] "Soundtrack to Sixteen"?
Yeah.
This sounds kind of stupid, it's just,
you know I was telling you I made those CDs for myself?
And
it's just as friends.
Yeah, I remember.
It's not stupid.
It's actually really sweet.
Obviously just as friends.
Yeah.
Really good friends.
Glad we got that one cleared up.
(rock music)
♪ What do you get ♪
♪ From being so mean ♪
♪ I just thought we should ♪
♪ Love everybody ♪
♪ I try my best ♪
♪ It ends up a mess ♪
♪ No one ever understands ♪
♪ Take the cycles of four seasons ♪
♪ Can't seem to find a reason ♪
♪ Keep on living ♪
♪ It gets closer ♪
♪ Here she is now ♪