- Okay, you can look. - It's a tree!
And it's just the first week of December!
How together are we?! How together are we?!
We even said that together! We even said that together!
Okay, this is getting weird. Okay, this is getting weird.
So, a tree?
Yeah, we're so on top of it this year,
we're even doing a Christmas card!
Take the picture, Kenneth?
Seems like a lot more work
having to Photoshop me in later,
but okay. I'll go get the camera.
The new and improved DiMeos.
Gone are the days where we would let things slide
or drop the ball or, you know,
not finish... you know, whatever.
Wrong. You are the same, if not worse,
and I can prove it with one word.
Yeah, righ...
Man-cave.
Aughh!
Ah, yeah. That was it! That was the one!
Technically, I think it's two words, but still!
Such a nice idea.
Ten months later? Nothing!
JJ, it's not my fault.
Daddy said that he was gonna fix up the garage.
Thanks for that. I meant to.
I really did, but stuff got in the way,
and then it became one of those things that...
that everybody has, that you want to take care of
but every time you think about it
you feel bad so you ignore it.
Not everyone has those.
The "JJ's Dream" Charity.
Aughh! Why did I promise so many people
I'd build an accessible playground
for kids with all abilities?
To impress a girl who broke up with you anyway.
I know!
I didn't even donate!
I'm almost as bad as Dylan!
What? I finish what I start.
I have a decade's worth of "Christmas coupons"
you refuse to honor, that say otherwise.
Aughh! So many hugs!
I owe you so many hugs!
I can't let you lord this over me.
It's time to face the music.
What are you staring at?
You're the one who stayed in high school an extra year
to prepare for college and you haven't done squat!
We are the worst!
Merry Christmas from the DiMeos.
Captions by VITAC...
If I may...
not following through is
a regrettable shared DiMeo family trait.
- We know now! - Don't kick us while we're down!
DiMeos have a real problem.
You're a DiMeo.
By marriage. That man-cave's on you.
I finish what I start.
Okay, that's it. I'm doing the charity.
JJ's Dream is no longer Ray's nightmare.
Ya hear that, "kissing mom" dream?
- You're back! - Okay.
Let's all do our things and get Ray some therapy.
I'll finish the man-cave.
JJ, you had a list of things you wanted to do
to get ready for college. You wanna hit that?
Dylan?
Fine.
But you're not gonna like it, Ray.
If it wasn't clear, that was a hug.
Curly slide, tunnel slide.
Curly tunnel slide?
Don't mind if I "tube."
Drink this smoothie.
Why?
"Make a meal for Ray."
And now, boom.
What else you got for me?
Actually, I'm on my way to city hall
for a playground permit.
Want to tag along?
Sounds like a lot
of pencil pushers and red tape.
I know, I'm excited too.
I like to play by the rules.
This is where they keep the rules.
Yeah, I'm good.
There are gonna be a lot of lines.
We can divide and conquer.
And if you're honoring coupons,
I think I have one that seems relevant.
Ray, no...
That coupon was a mistake!
I was six and hopped up on cake!
Fine.
Why not?
You laminated it?!
Really put a dent in it, haven't you?
Doesn't it feel good
following through on things you've started?
You really think you're different, don't you?
Oh, Jimmy, I'm not better than you...
Didn't say "better."
Do you want some help going through some boxes?
Uh, sure, I've already started.
This is worthless junk.
This is stuff we're not keeping.
Are the actors actually inside this?
Jimmy, come quick!
Aah! What's wrong?!
Oh, look, from when we first met.
Lovely!
Kinda in the middle of something.
Look, it's us camping.
Keep or junk, babe. Keep or junk.
Why don't we have more photos of us like this now?
Well, typically, pictures are of things that happened,
and you and I don't, you know, do stuff.
Aughh! What?
Ow, God! You're right!
We don't do anything just us anymore.
I keep promising that we will,
and then it never happens.
I have dropped the ball
on the most important thing of all... us.
We have got to get back what we lost.
This picture makes me want to set myself on fire!
So..."junk."
Okay, you made your "get ready for college" list.
"Guess I can check off the first item."
"Make list."
"Well, I'm pooped.
Shall we call it a day?"
Hmm. "Make 'Shall we call it a day' joke."
List humor is so good.
All right, well, what next?
"Learn how to make coffee for yourself."
Nice. Start small.
Now, you know the rules... I don't help you,
since I won't be around next year.
"Any idea what you're doing yet?"
I haven't decided.
Too many options, I'm afraid.
Now, I'll... percolate while you get back to the...
Grind.
Forget it.
Stupid DiMeo appliances ruining my jokes.
What's wrong with this thing?
Oh, that pot wasn't to your liking?
We've got a coffee snob.
You're on your own. What's the next move, college?
It's okay.
You got any tire sealant?
"Our neighbor borrowed it."
Okay, so to make coffee
you have to get tire sealant from your neighbor,
then clean the glass,
then get a new coffee pot.
Looks like we got a real "old lady who swallowed the fly" situation.
Next.
Hello, uh, my name is Ray DiMeo of JJ's Dream.
This is my assistant, Dylan.
This isn't our normal dynamic.
He has a coupon.
Mm.
A fellow turtle man, I see.
I left mine at home. May I kiss yours?
He wants to start a park.
Oh, well, that's a complicated process.
I'm a complicated boy.
See, I respect all that you do.
So here's my B-O-2 for your A-O-K.
Yeah, thing is, this is the Parks and Planning department.
You need to bring these forms to the Planning subdivision
of the Parks department.
It's in the Planning wing.
That's not this?
Ha, I wish.
Next!
This place is so logical!
Don't you want to get this connection back? Junk.
I'm not even showing you anything.
Keep. Oh, look!
"Hey Roommate!"
Do you remember, this was the song
that you were working on when we fell in love.
Like my gut since I turned 40,
I refuse to be sucked in.
Too bad. "Hey Roommate!" take one.
Squirrel? Acorn? Tree?
Ah, screw it. I'll finish it later.
See? Didn't finish it.
That's exactly what I'm trying to stop.
Okay, we're fixing this. Today.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah... Well,
you and I are connecting... - Blah, blah, blah, blah...
with or without you.
Okay, quick status report on where we are making coffee...
The cat is missing.
But if we can find the neighbor's cat
and fix the screen door we broke at the neighbor's house,
through which the cat escaped,
the neighbor will give us tire sealant to fix the tire,
and then we are making coffee, baby!
"Preparing for college is so hard."
Yeah, so much of it is looking for cats.
Hey, excuse me, I really need to use the restroom.
Do you mind just holding on to my spot in line?
Sorry, but I just feel like it violates the spirit of the line.
You understand.
I think you have a future here, Ray.
Next!
Hello, Craig. Here is my form 612 application
to build a playground, and I understand
you'll need to send me over to Parks,
but I'm here for my 897.
You can't get an 897 for a 612 unless you fill out a 383B.
Well, I filled out a 383B just for fun!
Mm, great.
Still a lot more forms you need to fill out.
This is what we trained for.
Sir, would you mind if I played some of my psych-up music?
No amplified music allowed.
Oh, Dylan, I'm going to need you to sing the "Rocky" theme song.
That's not the "Rocky" theme song.
Sorry, pal. You're not getting this back.
Hey, no running.
I respect that.
That felt like "Rocky."
You're helping. What's the catch?
This is the futon where we had our first kiss.
Know what we're gonna do now?
Maya, this is no time for our second kiss.
We're gonna go out, Jimmy.
Look, that was on a Wednesday.
I mean, why can't we have relaxed fun like that anymore?
What three people are not in that picture?
Florence Henderson, Tony Blair, and Billy Crystal.
Well, sure, granted...
The kids.
This is our life now.
Will you please just let me do what I promised JJ I'd do?
What's this?
You won an argument.
I don't like it.
Why do you do it all the time?
Well.
Maybe we can both be happy.
You want to reconnect.
I want to finish the man-cave.
Eh, maybe we do both. What do you mean?
You want to have our day here?
Not here...
In the apartment where we first fell in love.
Welcome back to 1997.
Come on.
Remember this?
Photo of a random family I hung on the wall ironically?
How much did you hate this?
So much to catch you guys up on.
World's crazy now!
Hey, College!
Listen, did you successfully
sign up for that wheelchair repair service?
Oh.
Wi-Fi's out.
Oh, you're right.
Give up. I don't think you should make the coffee.
Hell, I don't even think you can.
"Of all the motivation tricks you use,
I hate reverse psychology the most."
Even more than tickle therapy?
Mm!
Banned for a reason.
Any idea where the router is?
Under the sink?!
What fresh DiMeo hell is this?
Okay, you gave it a shot.
Let's try again tomorrow.
Still all you.
We'll get you under the sink...
What are you doing?
No, no. You can't do that.
Not reverse psychology!
Regular not-wanting-you-to-die psychology!
Do you even like coffee?!
The '90s really were a golden age of movies
that I taped "Beavis and Butt-Head" over.
We're back.
It's like we never left 1997.
What a time.
I got a woman I love and a hundred free hours of AOL.
I can't remember a time I felt so relaxed.
See? It was just that easy.
We just need a little space for us.
Are we sure JJ needs a man-cave?
Just floating it, but what if we put stairs out there?
What a great day for a groundbreaking ceremony.
And a heck of a turnout!
I need you to film this for the JJ's Dream website.
I'll never understand your generation's need
to post things on the Internet.
Hello, JJ's Dreamers.
Head Dreamer Ray, here, ready to break ground.
You know, I've always been the type of a guy
to follow through...
Assistant Zoning Commissioner Lyman?
To what do we owe the pleasure?
First off, thanks for the invitation.
Nice to be included in something like this.
This is such bad content.
But I'm afraid I have to shut this down.
Your permit was denied. What?
No, I-I submitted all the paperwork.
I-I followed all the steps.
Yeah, but it's my decision.
And not to get all technical,
but... my sister uses this area to play frolf.
No!
No, it's not over.
Not if I break ground before you stop me.
That's not how this works at all.
Oh, you're not even flexing.
I'm so glad we're filming this.
Yes! Come on, JJ!
Get to that router that any other family
would know not to keep under the sink!
Use that good foot!
Go, good foot, go, good foot, go!
Okay, yeah. Okay.
Get that plug in.
Closer.
Closer!
It's in!
Ahh!
Water on the floor, grounds...
dude, you made coffee!
I hate it, man.
This is ending.
It's challenging, it's fun, I make a difference.
And I'm so damn good at it.
No, I don't have anything else lined up.
That was all bull.
That is what you were asking, right?
See how good I am at this?
You think you're scared about what's next.
At least you know what you want.
I found what I love, JJ.
And he's going off to college.
Ray? Are you okay?
Why wouldn't I be?
Just because the entire foundation
of my world view was proven to be totally arbitrary?
Rules don't matter. Systems don't matter.
Nothing matters. It's great.
You want to fill out a form together or something?
Ray?
Guys, I'm worried about Ray...
What is this?
How long have you guys been finished with this,
and why are you both wearing cargo pants?
- They never went out of style! - They're comfy.
Just... find me later.
You seem so relaxed.
It's weird.
Get out. Please go.
I think we both know what this means.
Time to give this place back to its rightful owner.
Okay, final touches.
Mm.
Okay, smoke detector in.
It's time to go.
But we'll always have our teenage son's man-cave.
I'm so glad that we know we can relax together
and that we still enjoy each other,
'cause to be honest, I wasn't sure.
And knowing that means the world to me.
We can take that with us.
Yeah.
Last thing... carbon monoxide detector.
Aah!
High danger!
Oh, my God!
We weren't relaxed.
We were dying!
High danger!
I just don't know where I go from here.
"Time for an inspiring speech.
The kind you always give me."
Really?
Let 'er rip.
"You are cool...
You are tall.
And at the end of the day, go for the stars."
Wait. "Go for the stars"?
What's that?
You go for the gold or reach for the stars.
"Reach for the stars."
Don't say "reach for the stars" 'cause I just...
"I don't have money,
but what I do have are a very particular..."
"Set of skills"?
You're giving me the speech from "Taken"?
"Sorry, I don't have your gift for coaching."
I wouldn't call it a gift.
This is getting better. Go on.
"You are a coach."
Well, yeah, I kinda am.
Could I be a coach?
I think I'd like that.
Yeah, I-I could be a coach.
"And you're gonna shine like..."
Don't step in front of a moving train.
Coach Kenneth Clements.
I like the sound of that.
Thank you, buddy.
I might just have a post-JJ plan.
"I need some of your gift right now."
Damn straight.
JJ, you're gonna make coffee,
and I don't care how many pots you break,
how many tires you puncture or how many cats we lose.
You're not gonna give up
until you have a cup of joe
in that beautiful, wildly unpredictable hand of yours!
Coffee on three.
One, two, three...
C-O... Yes, coffee!
All set. With the new vent on the water heater
you shouldn't have any more trouble. Just curious...
the amount of gas that was leaking,
it wouldn't be enough to, like,
change your mood, right? - You kidding me?
You could take a couple of people
who didn't know each other, pipe that in...
Oh! They'd be all warm and cozy...
- Okay, thank you. - When my in-laws come to visit,
I just crank a little juice in their...
You have been thanked, sir.
Okay, this reconnecting.
It's gonna take a little more work than we thought.
That's gonna take some time.
Uh, when do we have time?
Uh, the holidays are crazy, so how's January?
JJ tours colleges on the weekends,
and then Dylan's track season starts.
And then it's spring break. That's out.
What about June?
Uh, sure, late June?
How late? July?
Yeah, it's a date. All right.
And we're really gonna do it this time.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, no, we're really gonna do it.
"Cheers, Coach."
Mmm!
Lots of grounds.
But, uh, for my money, this beats Starbucks any day.
"And it only cost $250 more."
Yeah, yeah.
Oh. Mmm.
Hey, Ray, just making sure you saw that caution tape.
Wouldn't want you to go in it.
What does it matter?
This is where my park was supposed to be.
I thought you might want to see this.
Full approval? How?
It's because you followed the rules.
I went back to the permit place to see what the problem was.
Turns out, he just misplaced one of your forms.
I will do it!
We had a good laugh about it.
I guess this means your world view
wasn't wrong after all.
I knew it.
The world makes sense.
I never lost faith.
And the best part is,
since I did it all myself,
I get to keep this little guy.
You're right, Ray.
You did it all yourself.
I'm happy for you.
Winter.
Okay, you can look.
You got the beach chairs!
Did you make lava flows?
I can't believe we used to take the time to make those.
We're gonna take the time again.
For us.
I got this, Jimmy.
I got it, too.
I finished something else.
Oh, God, there's more, is there? Okay.