[ HUMMING ]
OH, LET ME CALL YOU SWEETHEART
I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU
LET ME HEAR YOU WHISPER
THAT YOU LOVE ME TOO
KEEP THE LOVE LIGHT GLOWING IN YOUR
EYES SO TRUE
OH, LET ME CALL YOU SWEETHEART
I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU
OH, LET ME CALL YOU SWEETHEART
I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU
EASY NOW, EASY, MY BACK'S BUSTED FROM ALL THIS PRUNING.
YOU SILVER-TONGUED FLATTERER.
[ LAUGHING ]
YOU KNOW, THERE WAS A TIME
I COULD WORK ALL DAY AND DANCE ALL NIGHT.
MAYBE I'M GETTING TOO OLD TO RUN THIS FARM.
THEN LET'S SELL THE BLESSED THING.
LET'S LIVE THE LIFE OF RILEY
AND GO DANCING IN THE STREETS.
DANCING IN THE...AND WHO IS
GOING TO MILK THAT ORNERY OLD COW, HMM?
OH, THAT'S MY ALEC.
ALWAYS A MAD, IMPEFOOL.
LOOK AT THIS PLACE.
YOU EVER SEEN ANYTHING S$0...RURAL?
I LOVE THIS PLACE.
I'M THINKING GOOD THOUGHTS, BETTY,
NOTHING BUT GOOD THOUGHTS.
THIS IS REALLY GOING TO HELP.
IT CAN'T HURT.
I MEAN, IN FOUR MONTHS, THE PAIR OF US
HAVE WRITTEN SWEET ZILCH FOR MR. ZIEGFELD.
YEAH, THEY SAY IT'S ME, TOOTS.
TUCKED OUT OF TUNES.
ALL WASHED UP.
BUT LOOK AT ME NOW, HUH, RARING TO GO.
I FEEL A TUNE COMING ON ALREADY.
THAT'S THE SPIRIT. GET INSPIRED.
A COUPLE DAYS IN THIS COUNTRY,
YOU'LL BE POPPING THEM OUT LIKE SAUSAGES.
DO YOU HAVE TO HIT EVERY BUMP?
YOU'RE MAKING MY ACCORDION SOUND OFF.
OH, IS THAT WHAT IT IS?
YOU REALLY THINK THE BLAINES WILL
SWEEP YOU OFF TO NEW YORK
AND MAKE YOU SOME ACCORDION STAR?
HEY, BIG BROADWAY SONGWRITERS?
IT COULD HAPPEN.
FIRST, IT'S A SONGWRITING TEAM,
AND THEN ONE IS INUNDATED WITH ACTORS
AND MUSICIANS AND, AND TAP DANCERS.
OH, PISH, SIMON.
THEY SIMPLY HAVE TO OBEY
THE RULES LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.
ACH, MARK ME, HETTY KING, OUR REPUTATION WILL SUFFER.
UH, BREAKFAST WILL BE SERVED
FROM 6:00 TILL 9:00--
IN THE MORNING?
AH, GOOD DAY,
AND WELCOME TO THE WHITE SANDS, MR. AND MRS. BLAINE--
OH, PLEASE, BETTY AND RUDY.
NO, I'M AFRAID... THE WHITE SANDS
IS NOT A FIRST NAME SORT OF ESTABLISHMENT.
WE'RE QUITE FORMAL HERE.
WHITE TIES AND TIARAS,
I CAN TELL.
ENTRANCE DOORS ARE LOCKED AT 10:00 SHARP.
ALSO, WE DISCOURAGE
STRONG SPIRITS AND, UH...LOUD NOISES.
NO TAP DANCING, NOW.
LISTEN--
SWEETHEART, I THINK THAT'S, UH, GOOD NEWS,
BECAUSE WE'RE HERE FOR QUIET AND CREATIVE REJUVENATION, SO...
GOOD, THEN WE UNDERSTAND
EACH OTHER PERFECTLY, HMM?
YIKES.
SHE'S GOT TO BE A SPINSTER. AM I RIGHT?
UH, YES, MA'AM.
[ GRUNTING ]
HEAVENS!
OHH... WAS JUST GETTING READY TO GO OVER TO
THE WHITE SANDS AND INTERVIEW THE BLAINES.
THIS IS CERTAINLY HEAVY ENOUGH.
I WONDER WHAT'S IN IT, OHH.
ALEC, YOU REMEMBER SELENA, JASPER'S COUSIN.
OF COURSE.
SHE'S COME TO HELP OUT WHILE HE'S AWAY.
WELL, THAT WAS THOUGHTFUL.
I'VE ALWAYS BEEN DEVOTED TO COUSIN JASPER AND HIS WORK.
TRUE GENIUS IS SO RARE.
I KNOW.
I SEE YOU'RE FIXING HIS, UH,
REFRIGERATION DEVICE.
HOW'S IT GOING?
DURING THE LOW-PRESSURE CONDENSATION PHASE,
THE COOLANT LOSES ALL ITS VOLATILITY.
SO, IT'S GOING WELL?
I'M A COMPLETE AND UTTER FAILURE.
I'M SURE I DON'T KNOW WHAT USE I AM TO OLIVIA AND MONTY.
OH, SELENA.
I'M SURE IT'S A GREAT COMFORT
TO JASPER THAT YOU'RE HERE.
ME, TOO. OHH!
WHAT IS THIS?
WELL, IT APPEARS TO BE SOME SORT OF AN APPARATUS FOR...
I HAVE NO IDEA.
OH, HA, HA.
OH, LOOK.
OH, HA, HA, HA.
"PLEASE PATENT THIS.”
"MAY MAKE OUR FORTUNE, JASPER."”
WELL, IT'S DIFFICULT TO PATENT A BOX OF PARTS,
BUT I'll SEE WHAT I CAN DO WITH IT.
PERHAPS IF I CHECK HIS NOTEBOOKS.
I'll HELP YOU HAUL YOUR CAMERA
OVER TO THE HOTEL IF YOU LIKE.
WOULD IT HAVE KILLED HIM TO WRITE
SOMETHING A LITTLE AFFECTIONATE?
HE OBVIOUSLY THINKS THAT WHATEVER
THIS IS WILL SECURE YOUR FUTURE.
WELL, HE COULD HAVE SAID HE MISSES US.
READ BETWEEN THE LINES, OLIVIA.
HIS CARING FOR YOU, HIS
NEED TO PROVIDE FOR YOU AND MONTY,
IT'S ALL JASPER CAN THINK ABOUT.
OUT OF THE QUESTION.
NOT POSSIBLE -- WE CAN'T SIMPLY
MOVE A PIANO INTO YOUR ROOM.
WELL, THEY HAD NO PROBLEMS AT THE SAVOY.
NEVER MIND, BETTY.
SAVOY...BUT YOU SEE, OUR ONLY
PIANO IS IN THE DINING ROOM THERE.
FINE, MOVE IT UP TO OUR ROOM.
BUT...THE PIANO, YOU SEE, IS FOR THE ENJOYMENT OF OUR GUESTS.
WHAT ARE WE, GEFILTE FISH?
OH, LOOK, NEVER MIND.
MR. FLO ZIEGFELD -- YOU'VE HEARD
OF HIM -- IS EXPECTING A SHOW
FROM US IN LESS THAN A MONTH.
AH, IT DOESN'T MATTER. I'M DRIED UP ANYWAY.
RUDY...WE ARE YOUR GUESTS.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE NICE TO US, REMEMBER?
MRS. BLAINE, I'M OLIVIA DALE,
FROM THE AVONLEA CHRONICLE.
I'VE COME ABOUT THE INTERVIEW.
INTERVIEW? WE'RE LEAVING.
AND DON'T THINK WE WON'T TELL ALL OUR FRIENDS
WHAT A HORRIBLE PLACE THIS IS.
RIGHT?!
OUR REPUTATION IS SAVED.
NO JUGGLERS. NO ACROBATS.
NO ROYALTY.
ROYALTY?
ONE OF THEIR FRIENDS IS ONLY THE KING.
KING...GEORGE? OUR KING GEORGE?
A LIKELY STORY.
OH, YES, REALLY, OLIVIA.
DOESN'T EVERYBODY KNOW THAT AFTER A COMMAND PERFORMANCE
AT ALBERT HALL, THE BLAINES WERE
PERSONAL GUESTS AT BUCKINGHAM PALACE
FOR THREE DAYS?
NO DOUBT HIS MAJESTY HAD MORE THAN ENOUGH PIANOS TO GO AROUND.
PIANOS?
YES, THEY WANTED A PIANO FOR THEIR ROOM.
IS THAT ALL?
HETTY, THEY'RE SONGWRITERS.
UH, OLIVIA...YOU GO ON.
I'll CHECK ON THIS.
FELIX WILL DRIVE YOU HOME.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD TAKE US TO SOME REAL FRIENDLY COUNTRY...
LIKE BORNEO.
THEY'RE ONLY HEADHUNTERS.
I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M PUTTING YOU THROUGH THIS.
AH, YOU'LL GET IT BACK.
YOU WERE DOING SO WELL
WHEN WE FIRST GOT HERE.
YOU ALMOST WROTE SOMETHING.
IT'S THE PRESSURE.
ALL THOSE PEOPLE WAITING
FOR YOU TO TOP YOURSELF.
YEAH, WHAT IF I ONLY HAVE ONE SHOW IN ME?
AW, IT'S A SLUMP.
LIKE TY COBB AND CY YOUNG, HUH?
COME HERE.
OOPS. OH, GOODNESS.
I DO BEG YOUR PARDON.
THE DOOR WAS AJAR.
I GUESS KISSING BETWEEN MARRIED PEOPLE
ISN'T ALLOWED IN THIS MONASTERY.
YEAH, DON'T WORRY.
WE'RE PACKING TO GO.
NO, UH, NO...
ACTUALLY, I WAS JUST COMING TO TELL YOU THAT WE MAY AFTER ALL
BE ABLE TO SET ASIDE THE PIANO FOR YOUR EXCLUSIVE USE.
[ COUGHING ]
EXCUSE ME.
AND, UH...
WHAT CHANGED YOUR MIND?
OH, TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, MY BUSINESS PARTNER, MR. TREMAYNE,
DOESN'T ALWAYS APPRECIATE ARTISTIC NECESSITY.
OH, AND SUDDENLY YOU DO?
OH, SUDDENLY? OH, NO, NO...NOT AT ALL.
OH, HE HAS MANY FINE QUALITIES.. TREMAYNE,
BUT SADLY...STILL LINGERS UNDER
THE OLD-FASHIONED MISAPPREHENSION
THAT SHOW PEOPLE ARE, WELL...
VAGABONDS, YOU KNOW.
WHEREAS I TAKE THE MORE MODERN VIEW.
NO KIDDING?
SHOW PEOPLE ARE, WELL, PRACTICALLY...ROYALTY.
OH, WE ARE?
SO, I DO WANT YOU TO BE
AS COMFORTABLE HERE...
AT THE WHITE SANDS HOTEL,
AS YOU WOULD IN -- I DON'T KNOW -- IN...BUCKINGHAM PALACE.
AH.
AND WE CERTAINLY KNOW OUR PALACES, DON'T WE, SUGAR CAKES?
ONE SMALL FAVOUR.
COULD YOU POSSIBLY REFRAIN FROM...
CREATING DURING MEALTIMES.
OH, WE ONLY WORK AT NIGHT.
THANK YOU.
HOW DOES THAT STORY ABOUT US AND KING GEORGE KEEP GETTING AROUND?
SEARCH ME, BUT I SAY
IFIT GETS US BETTER SERVICE,
GO WITH IT.
[ JASPER DALE ]: MY DARLING OLIVIA...
AHH!!
JASPER!!
NO, OLIVIA.
IT'S A KIND OF SOUND REPLICATOR.
I FOUND PRELIMINARY DRAWINGS UNDER
DEVICES FOR SOUND
REPLICATION AND AMPLIFICATION.
OH...
IT SOUNDED JUST LIKE HIM.
I THOUGHT HE'D COME HOME.
IT'S HIS MESSAGE TO YOU.
JUST TURN THAT CRANK.
[ JASPER ]: MY DARLING OLIVIA,
I C-C-CANNOT BEGIN TO TELL YOU THE PAIN I FEEL IN MY HEART
WHEN I TH-THINK OF THE OCEAN BETWEEN US.
I ACHE TO FEEL YOU NEAR ME.
OH, JASPER...
I'M SORRY.
I ALWAYS GET SO EMOTIONAL
WHEN JASPER'S ROMANTIC.
AUNT OLIVIA,
THIS CONTRAPTION COULD MAKE YOU VERY WEALTHY.
NOBODY'S GOING TO PAY TO LISTEN TO JASPER TALK.
LET ME BE YOUR BUSINESS AGENT IN THIS MATTER.
OH, I DON'T KNOW, FELIX.
WELL, PLEASE.
WITH THIS, UNCLE JASPER'S GOING TO BE BIGGER THAN EDISON.
OH...
PLEASE?
[]
THAT SOUNDS GOOD.
IT SHOULD. IT'S THE FIRST SONG WE EVER WROTE TOGETHER.
I NEED A RHYME FOR DONKEY.
MAYBE IF I WRITE THE WORDS,
THE TUNES WILL JUST POP INTO YOUR HEAD.
OH, SURE, LISTEN, I'll TRY ANYTHING.
WHAT IN BLAZES
ARE YOU DOING?
IT'S 3:00 IN THE MORNING.
SHHH.
THE SPINSTER LADY SAID OK.
YEAH, WE WON'T BE MUCH LONGER,
'CAUSE ONCE IT GETS LIGHT OUT WE'RE NO GOOD.
I'll TELL YOU WHAT, MAC,
WE'LL CLAM IT UP AND PIPE IT DOWN.
HERE'S AN OLD TRICK I STOLE FROM IRVING BERLIN.
HERE.
PFFFT...PFFFT.
WHOA!
MAYBE YOU WISH YOU'D STOLEN A TUNE WHILE YOU WERE AT IT?
AHH, YOU'RE EVERY BIT AS GOOD AS BERLIN.
OH, SURE, THE ONLY THING ME AND IRVING HAVE IN COMMON
IS THAT WE CAN BOTH ONLY PLAY IN ONE KEY.
HEY--
HEY, WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE TEAMED UP WITH HIM ALTOGETHER.
WITH BERLIN?
PLEASE, NOW THERE IS A ONE-HIT WONDER.
PLAY.
[ JANET KING ]: WOULDN'T THAT BE THE LIFE?
HOB-NOBBING WITH KINGS AND TYCOONS.
I HAD NO IDEA I WAS SO DULL.
OH, NO, NO, DEAR, NOT DULL.
JUST, UH, SETTLED.
SOME LIVES ARE SO FULL OF...
EXCITEMENT AND IMPULSE.
NOW, HOLD ON, I CAN BE IMPULSIVE.
REMEMBER, I TOOK YOU ON THAT
CARRIAGE RIDE UNDER THE MOONLIGHT?
THAT WAS WHEN DANIEL HAD THE CROUP.
WHAT? REALLY, HETTY KING.
THE ROYAL ORDER
OF THE DAUGHTERS OF THE DOMINION
HOSTING COMMON MUSICAL PERFORMERS?
THE WOMAN SMOKES.
MEDICINAL PURPOSES IS MY UNDERSTANDING.
SOME OF US BEAR HIGHER STANDARDS
FOR OUR ORGANIZATION, HETTY KING.
IS THAT SO?
HIGHER STANDARDS THAN THOSE OF HIS IMPERIAL MAJESTY,
KING
GEORGE V?
WHO JUST LAST SUMMER,
CHOSE TO ENTERTAIN THE BLAINES
AS HIS PERSONAL HOUSE GUESTS.
HIS MAJESTY LIKES SHOW TUNES?
APPARENTLY.
WELL...
SINCE WE ALREADY HAVE SCHEDULED ON OUR CALENDAR A MUSICALE
TO RAISE FUNDS FOR THE NEW PORTRAIT OF HIS MAJESTY
TO BE HUNG ON THE AVONLEA SCHOOLHOUSE,
WOULDN'T IT BE MORE APPROPRIATE TO MOVE THAT DATE FORWARD
SO AS TO INCLUDE OUR ILLUSTRIOUS...
VISITORS?
SHALL WE VOTE?
YOU READY?
WE ORDERED COFFEE.
YES, SIR.
I JUST THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE TO SEE SOMETHING
THAT COULD REVOLUTIONIZE THE MUSIC INDUSTRY.
A FAIR ROYALTY SYSTEM, MAYBE?
YEAH, HA, HA...
WHAT IS THAT?
VOILA.
ALLOW ME TO PRESENT MY
TECHNICIAN MISS SELENA DALE.
HOWDY-DOO.
NOW, UH,
MR. BLAINE, IF YOU COULD SIMPLY
SAY SOMETHING, ANYTHING, INTO THE DEVICE.
OH, MY WIFE'S THE WORDSMITH. I JUST WRITE TUNES.
AND NOT TOO MUCH OF THAT LATELY.
OH, OK, LISTEN, I'LL DO IT.
ALL RIGHT.
UHM, ANYTHING I WANT?
ANYTHING YOU WANT.
ARE YOU READY?
UH, LIZZIE BORDEN TOOK AN AXE AND GAVE HER HUSBAND 40 WHACKS.
GAVE HER MOTHER.
PERHAPS SHE WANTED HER HUSBAND
TO STOP FEELING SORRY FOR HIMSELF.
NOW, BE PREPARED TO BE AMAZED.
[ RECORDING ]: LIZZIE BORDEN...
[ SQUEALING ]
MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY THAT BUTTON.
WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THAT WAS VERY AMUSING.
UH, THAT'S NOT IT. WHAT'S HAPPENING?
OH, YIPES, BY JIMMINY.
LISTEN, IF YOU DON'T MIND, WE'VE GOT TO DRESS FOR DINNER.
I'M, I'M SORRY.
NO, NO, IT WAS VERY AMUSING.
NO, I'M SORRY.
NO, WE THANK YOU.
THAT'S GOOD.
SEE YOU LATER.
OK. DON'T FORGET THE COFFEE, NOW.
NOTHING THE KING LIKES MORE THAN A GOOD HAND-ROLLED HAVANA.
YOU, UH, YOU DON'T MIND, DO YOU, LADIES?
NO, NO, NOT IN THE LEAST. DO WE?
HIS HIGHNESS ALWAYS SAID NOTHING TOPS A MEAL BETTER.
EXCEPT, UH...A NICE GLASS OF BRANDY.
IF, UH...
WE DRANK BRANDY, WHICH WE DON'T.
ANYWAY...
MR. AND MRS. BLAINE,
YOU'VE BOTH EXPERIENCED THAT VERY RARE PRIVILEGE --
AN INSIDER'S VIEW OF THE ROYALS
AND...WE WONDERED IF YOU MIGHTN'T
GRACE US WITH AN ANECDOTE OR TWO, YOU KNOW...
ABOUT TIME SPENT WITH OUR ROYAL FAMILY.
YES, UH, WELL,
THE, UM, THE KING...
NICE GUY.
VERY NICE FELLOW.
QUITE SOMETHING, ACTUALLY. UH...
THE PRINCE, WELL, THE PRINCE.
I MEAN, WHAT CAN YOU SAY ABOUT THE PRINCE?
HE'S A PRINCE.
OH, AND HER MAJESTY?
OH, TELL US ABOUT THE QUEEN.
THE QUEEN? OH, WELL.
THEY DON'T MAKE THEM LIKE THAT ANY MORE. DO THEY?
NO.
OH, SHE, SHE'S A HOOT AND A HOLLER.
JUST, JUST CRACKING JOKES AND CARRYING ON, YOU KNOW.
SHE'S A CARD.
THE QUEEN IS A CARD.
AND DANCE?
YOU SHOULD SEE THAT WOMAN DO
THE BUNNY HUG.
AND NOBODY CAN TOUCH HER TURKEY TROT.
NOBODY.
HA, HA...OH, GOODNESS.
YOU HAVE HAD AN INTIMATE VIEW, HAVEN'T YOU?
BEHIND THE CASTLE WALL, THEY REALLY LET THEIR HAIR DOWN.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
So, HOW HAVE YOU FOUND YOUR STAY HERE IN AVONLEA?
UH, I TRUST THERE'S BEEN SUFFICIENT PASTORAL INSPIRATION.
OH, SCADS. WE'VE BEEN WRITING OODLES.
YOU SHOULD SEE HIM CRACKING OUT THE TUNES, HUH?
I AM GLAD TO HEAR THAT, BECAUSE, UH,
WE WONDERED IF...
IF YOU MIGHT LEND YOUR SUPPORT TO A RATHER WORTHY ROYAL CAUSE.
IFIT'S FOR OUR OLD FRIEND THE KING,
WE'LL BE THERE WITH BELLS ON.
YOU WILL?
OH, HOORAY!
OH, YOU WILL, OH, YOU'LL PERFORM
ONE OF YOUR NEW SONGS IN OUR UPCOMING MUSICALE.
UH...ONE OF WHICH?
IT DOES BENEFIT HIS MAJESTY.
WITH PLEASURE.
UH, SWEETUMS.
LOOK, A DEADLINE IS MAYBE ALL WE NEED.
I'LL SAY IT IS.
LADIES, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I...HAVE TO GET SOME AIR.
OHH! NO...
WELL, THANKS ALL.
BEFORE YOU LEAVE, WILL YOU
BE VISITING HIS MAJESTY AGAIN?
WELL, THEY DID SAY SOMETHING ABOUT CHRISTMAS.
YOU'RE INVITED FOR THE HOLIDAYS?
TO BALMORAL?
AH, BELTING OUT THE HOLLY AND THE ivy AROUND THE OLD UPRIGHT.
HEY, I WONDER IF WE COULD BRING SOME FRIENDS.
THEY GOT ALL THOSE EXTRA ROOMS.
...TO FERRY ME OVER
TO MY LOVE AND DIE
SEE, THE SADDER THE SONG, THE MORE SHE YIELDS.
I WISH I INHERITED YOUR VOICE.
OH, CECILY, YOU'VE GOT A BEAUTIFUL SINGING VOICE.
I WISH I HEARD MORE OF IT.
I FAILED OLIVIA.
I FAILED JASPER.
I FAILED MODERN SCIENCE.
WELL, THE QUESTION IS,
CAN YOU MAKE THIS THING WORK?
DODO! DUMB-DUMB.
HOW COULD I FORGET THE FLUCTUATING INDUCTION FIELD?
OH, COME ON, OLD GIRL. YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT.
I WISH I WAS...
SELENA, WITH THE ENDORSEMENT OF THE BLAINES,
WE CAN MAKE JASPER DALE A HOUSEHOLD NAME.
THEY'RE BUSINESS PEOPLE.
WE JUST HAVE TO PROVE THAT IT'S USEFUL TO THEIR BUSINESS.
HOW?
...IN VALLEY GRAND
I WOULD SWIM OVER
THE DEEPEST OCEAN...
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO PLAY FOR US NOW?
BAT SHRIEKS AND BULL BELLOWS?
NOW, UH, MY FATHER'S GOING TO SING INTO THIS,
SO YOU CAN HEAR HOW CLOSELY THIS MACHINE CAN REPLICATE A TUNE.
YEAH, IF IT COULD WRITE
A TUNE, I'D BE INTERESTED.
UH, FATHER?
FATHER?
OH, YOU TAKE THE HIGH ROAD
AND I'll TAKE THE LOW ROAD
AND I'll BE IN SCOTLAND
AFORE YE
AH, BUT ME AND MY TRUE LOVE
WE WILL NEVER
MEET AGAIN
ON THE BONNY
BONNY BANKS OF LOCH LOMAND
GOOD, GOOD, KEEP GOING.
BY YON BONNY BANKS
AND BY YON BONNY BRAVES
WHERE THE SUN SHINES
BRIGHT ON LOCH LOMAND
ARE YOU A PROFESSIONAL, MR. KING?
OH, BLESS YOU, MA'AM, NO.
UH, CHURCH SOCIALS,
UH, THE CHOIR, THINGS LIKE THAT.
[ RECORDING OF ALEC SINGING ]
[ PIANO PLAYING ]
WHAT GIVES?
I HEAR THE MAN'S VOICE, AND THAT TUNE POPS RIGHT INTO MY HEAD.
SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
WE DON'T CARE ABOUT THE MACHINE.
HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED...
IT'S HIS VOICE WE LIKE.
BROADWAY?
YOU WOULDN'T TURN DOWN BROADWAY.
THE CROWDS, THE LIGHTS.
BIG THEATRES, SWELL RESTAURANTS.
OH, ALEC, THIS IS SO EXCITING!
YOU'VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF SINGING.
WELL, NOT ON THIS SCALE.
WHAT'S YOUR BEST OFFER?
FELIX.
NO, NO, NO, NO, THE KID'S RIGHT.
OK, BETTY AND I WILL PAY YOU...
OUT OF OUR OWN POCKETS FOR TWO WEEKS.
WE WORK UP THE MATERIAL, WE SPRING IT ON FLO.
IF HE BUYS THE PACKAGE, YOU'RE IN.
WE PAY THE GOING RATE
PLUS THROW IN A DELUXE ROOM
A DELUXE ROOM.
IN AN UPSCALE HOTEL.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, A SUITE.
THE GOING RATE PLUS 50% IS THE LEAST MY CLIENT COULD CONSIDER.
FELIX, I'M YOUR FATHER, NOT YOUR
CLIENT -- JANET, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
OH, I THINK WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT IT.
YES, LET'S TALK.
WE'RE GOING TO THINK ABOUT IT.
NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'VE GOTTA GO
AND SEE A CHICKEN COOP.
WHAT'S HE HOLDING OUT FOR? A CUT OF THE GROSS?
YOO-HOO!
ALEC, ARE YOU THERE?
ALEC! OH, AH.
OH, I SEE YOU GOT SARA'S BICYCLE.
ARE YOU IN A HURRY?
ALEC, YOU'LL NEVER GUESS.
I AM ORGANIZING A MUSICALE REVUE FEATURING THE BLAINES.
OH, HETTY, NOT YOU TOO?
NOT ME, TOO, WHAT?
WELL, ALL THIS FUSS ABOUT THE BLAINES WANTING ME
TO GO TO NEW YORK AND SING ON BROADWAY.
YOu?
I KNOW IT'S RIDICULOUS, BUT THE KIDS ARE ALL EXCITED.
THEY PRACTICALLY GOT US PACKED AND READY FOR THE NEXT BOAT.
THEY WANT YOU?
SO THEY SAY.
THE BLAINES WANT YOU?
ALL RIGHT, IT'S NOT THAT FAR-FETCHED.
FELIX THINKS THAT THE BLAINES WOULD BE PREPARED FOR US
TO TAKE THE WHOLE FAMILY ALONG--
THE WHOLE FAMILY.
OH, OH, ALEC, YOU MUST.
MUST I? BUT I ONLY GOT INVOLVED TO HELP OUT
WITH JASPER'S INVENTION FOR OLIVIA'S SAKE.
YOU NEVER HAVE HAD A SCRAP OF AMBITION.
LOOK, I COULD PROVE TO BE A TOTAL BUST.
I MEAN, THE BLAINES HAVE ONLY HEARD ME SING ONCE.
IT WASN'T EVEN ONE OF THEIR SONGS.
JUST 'CAUSE YOU'RE NO LONGER YOUNG,
WELL, IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE
TO BE SO SETTLED.
"SETTLED?" THAT'S THE WORD JANET USED.
YOU SEE, THE BLAINES ARE SHOW PEOPLE.
SHOW PEOPLE, THEY GO ON INSTINCT, GUT, LIKE ME.
LIKE YOU?
OH, NOW, THIS IS PERFECT.
YOU MUST GO TO THEM AT ONCE AND TELL THEM THAT YOU'LL AGREE
TO SING THEIR LATEST SONG
AS THE GRAND FINALE FOR MY MUSICALE.
OH, ALEC,
OH, PLEASE, YOU WOULDN'T DENY YOUR OWN FAMILY, WOULD YOU?
NO, NO, I...
LET ME THINK ABOUT IT.
DO YOU REALLY THINK I'M SETTLED?
OH!
I'll TELEPHONE REGARDING THE REHEARSAL.
OH, THE HOLLY AND THE IVY
WHEN THEY ARE BOTH FULL GROWN
OF ALL THE TREES THAT ARE IN THE WOOD
THE HOLLY BEARS THE CROWN...
IT'S AWFUL GOOD OF YOUR FELIX TO SHOW RUDY THAT JOINT OUT THERE.
OH, THE BARN.
I'M SURE YOU'RE WELCOME
TO TAKE THE TOUR.
NO, NO, NO, I'll STAY PUT.
SOMETHING IN THE BARN GIVES ME THE SNIFFLES.
MAYBE IT'S THE FUR.
THE FUR?
HAIR?
WHAT IS IT COWS HAVE?
TELL US ABOUT NEW YORK.
IS IT EXCITING?
EVER BEEN ON A TROLLEY?
A SUBWAY?
NO.
AN OVERHEAD TRAM?
WE GOT 'EM ALL RIGHT OUTSIDE OUR DOOR.
WHERE DO YOU LIVE? IN A RAILWAY YARD?
UH, TELL US, WHERE DO
YOU LIVE?
YOUR HOUSE, IS IT GRAND?
WELL, ACTUALLY IT'S NOT REALLY
A HOUSE.
AHA, AN APARTMENT.
BETTER.
WE GOT A SUITE AT THE CONNAUGHT ARMS HOTEL.
YOU CAN GET ROOM SERVICE 24 HOURS A DAY.
YOU WANT A PASTRAMI AT 2:00 A.M.,
YOU JUST PICK UP THE PHONE.
WHY, YES!
WHAT'S PASTRAMI?
AT 2:00 AM.?
MUST BE A SLEEPING POWDER.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, ANYHOW?
YOU DON'T BAKE?
ME? BAKE?
HA, HA, HA, THAT'S RICH.
NO, I NEVER GOT THE KNACK.
AND WE DON'T HAVE WHAT YOU'D EXACTLY CALL A KITCHEN.
ANYWAY, NOBODY BAKES IN NEW YORK.
EVEN THE BAKERIES DELIVER.
OH, BAKING'S ONE OF MY FAVOURITE THINGS.
I GET UP AT DAWN WHEN THE HOUSE IS ALL STILL.
AND I TAKE THE RISING LOAVES OUT OF THE WARMER
AND POP THEM IN THE OVEN.
HAVE MY MORNING TEA.
AND I WATCH OUT THIS WINDOW AT THE SUN LIFTING
AND THE MIST RISING OFF THE MEADOW.
THE WHOLE PLACE SMELLS
LIKE FRESHLY BAKED BREAD.
WE HAVE DAWN IN NEW YORK.
YOU CAN WATCH THE STREET CLEANERS.
THERE'S KIND OF A MIST THAT HANGS OVER THE BOWERY.
IT BURNS OFF USUALLY.
MRS. BLAINE...
DO YOU HAVE CHILDREN?
ME? NO.
MANHATTAN IS...
I MEAN, OF COURSE, YOUR KIDS ARE GONNA LOVE MANHATTAN.
CITY LIFE CAN BE SO BROADENING.
THEY'LL NEVER WANT TO COME HOME.
THEY WON'T?
NOW, MR. BLAINE, I HEAR THAT
YOU WERE ABLE TO OVERCOME
A SEVERE CASE OF WRITER'S
TO AN AMAZING VOICE REPLICATOR
INVENTED HERE IN AVONLEA.
WELL, ONE SONG IS HARDLY A FULL RECOVERY.
HEY, BUT IT'S A GOOD BEGINNING.
SO, WOULD YOU SAY YOU ENDORSE
THIS AMAZING REPLICATOR?
WE'RE NOT REALLY INTERESTED IN IT.
WELL, IT'S, UM, PORTABLE AND
PATENT PENDING AND, UH--
WELL, PERHAPS THE POLICE COULD USE IT FOR, YOU KNOW,
MURDER CONFESSIONS.
OH, WE DON'T HAVE MURDERS IN AVONLEA.
AL!
HI.
HOW'S JAN AND THE KIDS?
OH, FINE, MR. BLAINE, MRS. BLAINE.
BETTY.
BETTY. LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO INTERRUPT HERE.
ARE YOU TAKING UP OUR OFFER?
EVERYONE THINKS I...
I THOUGHT, WELL, IF I SING ONE OF YOUR SONGS IN HETTY'S SHOW,
WE COULD SEE HOW IT GOES.
YOU BET. ABSOLUTELY.
I AM SO THRILLED.
YOU KNOW, THIS FELLOW IS
THE TALENT OF THE CENTURY.
PUT THAT IN YOUR PAPER.
ALL RIGHT.
OH!
OH, JANET, YOU'RE AS CHANGEABLE AS THE WEATHER.
I KNOW, BUT SINCE I TALKED
TO THE BLAINES, I JUST DON'T
KNOW WHAT I WANT.
BUT IT'S ALEC'S OPPORTUNITY.
SURELY IT SHOULD BE WHAT HE WANTS THAT MATTERS.
HAVE YOU BEEN REHEARSING
ALL THIS TIME?
I GUESS WE LOST TRACK OF THE TIME.
YOU KNOW, ALEC, I'VE BEEN THINKING.
THAT SONG WAS KIND OF FUN.
IT IS?
YES, THE BLAINES, THEY WERE TICKLED.
OH, ALEC.
THAT'S WONDERFUL.
BUT YOU KNOW, IF YOU'RE DOING
ALL THIS BECAUSE OF ME--
YOU? NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
THE MORE I...SANG, THE MORE I REALIZED THAT A MAN'S
GOT TO FOLLOW HIS DREAMS...
EVEN IF THEY COME LATER THAN EXPECTED.
WELL, YES.
THAT'S TRUE.
A MAN...A MAN WOULD BE A FOOL TO...NOT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE
OF A CHANCE LIKE THIS, DON'T YOU THINK?
I SUPPOSE.
I...AM GOING TO REACH FOR THAT BRASS RING.
WHY SHOULDN'T I?
I'M GLAD IT MEANS THAT MUCH TO YOU.
YES, IT DOES.
BRIGHT LIGHTS, HERE WE COME.
...TO SUFFER THE SLINGS AND ARROWS
OF OUTRAGEOUS FORTUNE...
OH!
AHEM, THAT'S QUITE ENOUGH, THANK YOU.
UM, I'll LET YOU KNOW.
HE PULLS COINS FROM YOUR EAR,
IF YOU'D LIKE THAT, MISS KING -- DEARY,
PULL A COIN OUT OF MISS KING'S EAR.
NO! NEVER MIND.
GO ON.
I THINK I HAVE A FAIR SENSE
OF YOUR COUSIN'S ABILITIES, ADA HUBBELL.
NEXT.
HETTY KING!
THIS HOTEL IS A THREE-RING CIRCUS.
HAVE THE BLAINES TURNED ALL OF AVONLEA SHOW-BIZ MAD?
SHH, SIMON. CONCENTRATION.
MARK DOWN THAT I'll PLAY SCOTLAND THE BRAVE,
BUT IN TRIBUTE TO THE GREAT WHITE WAY
I'VE REINTERPOLATED IT TO A RAGTIME BEAT.
IS THERE NO INDIGNITY FROM WHICH I CANNOT BE SPARED?
QUIET.
[]
HE HAS HIS HEART SET, OLIVIA.
WHY ISN'T HE MORE EXCITED, THEN?
WELL, YOU KNOW ALEC.
WE'VE BROUGHT YOUR TICKETS TO
THE MUSICALE EVENING.
OH, THANK YOU. YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO COME ALL THE WAY--
WHAT'S ALL THIS NONSENSE YOU WROTE
IN THE CHRONICLE ABOUT ALEC BEING
THE TALENT OF THE CENTURY?
WHY, THAT IS A DIRECT QUOTATION.
AND YOUR SISTER, I CAN'T BELIEVE MISS KING
WOULD MAKE ALEC THE STAR OF THE MUSICALE.
IT'S SHAMELESS PROMOTION OF YOUR OWN FAMILY.
SINCE WHEN DID ALEC ENTERTAIN
SUCH AMBITIONS, I'D LIKE TO KNOW?
THERE ARE FIRES BURNING IN MY ALEC
ABOUT WHICH YOU KNOW NOTHING.
NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
I HAVE TO PACK MY THINGS FOR NEW YORK.
HMPH!
CAN I GIVE YOU A HAND WITH THAT SAW?
I GOT THE ELBOW FOR IT.
OH, DON'T TROUBLE YOURSELF, MR. BLAINE.
WOULDN'T WANT YOU TO RUIN THAT FINE SUIT.
YOU'RE TALKING TO JOURNEYMAN CARPENTER FIRST CLASS.
RUDOLPH BLITZSTEIN -- STEP ASIDE.
YOU'RE A CARPENTER?
I'M JUST A BRONX DINNER-PAILER WHO KNOWS HOW TO WRITE A TUNE.
HA.
YOU EVER MISS WORKING WITH YOUR HANDS?
YOU KIDDING?
THAT'S HOW I STARTED, TO THE RHYTHM OF THE WORKING WORLD.
SITTING ON MY FRONT PORCH, DON'T YOU KNOW?
I'M DREAMIN' OF AN ANGEL
HER NAME IS FLO
[ LAUGHING ]
YEAH, TUME EASY AS HITTING NAHEN.
NOW...
WELL, YOU COULD ALWAYS GO BACK TO CARPENTRY.
YEAH, BETTY WOULD LOVE THAT.
IF IT'S WHAT YOU REALLY WANTED, I'M SURE SHE WOULD.
YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS A KID, MY DREAM WAS TO HEAR PEOPLE
POURING OUT OF THE THEATRE, HUMMING SOMETHING I WROTE.
WHEN YOU GET TO BE OUR AGE, ONE OF THOSE DREAMS
OUGHT TO BE COMING TRUE.
ALL I EVER REALLY WANTED WAS TO RUN THIS FARM
AND RAISE A FAMILY.
YOU KNOW, YOUR VOICE IS PERFECT FOR THE SONGS BETTY AND I WRITE.
YOU GOTTA BE THERE FOR ME.
PERSONALLY I THINK YOUR LIFE WOULD BE A LOT EASIER
IF YOU LEARNED TO PLAY IN SOMETHING OTHER THAN C-MAJOR.
HA, YEAH, I GUESS THAT WOULD HELP.
I WON'T LET YOU DOWN.
YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT EASY LIVING UP TO
SOMEONE ELSE'S EXPECTATIONS.
NO, I SUPPOSE AT THE END OF THE DAY...
A MAN'S JUST GOT TO LIVE UP TO HIS OWN EXPECTATIONS.
SO, WHAT'S YOUR ADVICE?
GO BACK TO CARPENTRY OR TAKE PIANO LESSONS?
[ LAUGHING ]
SELENA, I WAS WONDERING IF YOU'D, UH...
IF YOU'D EVER HEARD OF ANY CONTRAPTION
THAT WOULD ALLOW A PERSON TO PLAY THE PIANO
IN THE KEY OF C-MAJOR, SAY, AND THE MUSIC
COME OUT IN ANOTHER KEY.
AS A MATTER OF FACT,
COUSIN JASPER, I BELIEVE, HAS
DRAWINGS FOR JUST SUCH A DEVICE.
REALLY?
MM-HMM, IT'S MERELY A MATHEMATICAL
SERIES OF LEVERS JUXTAPOSING
HAMMER STRIKES WITH STRINGS HIT.
I COULD ATTEMPT A PROTOTYPE.
BY TONIGHT?
UH, MM-HMM.
[]
SHE'S A SAUCY FLASH PACKET AND PACKET OF FAME
SHE HAILS FROM NEW YORK AND THE DREADNOUGHT'S HER NAME
SHE'S BOUND TO GO WESTWARD WHERE...
WHERE'S SELENA?
I DON'T KNOW.
...BUT THE DREADNOUGHT'S THE CLIPPER TO BEAT ONE AND ALL
[ APPLAUSE ]
OH, TIMES LIKE THESE MAKE ONE REALIZE
THE MIXED BLESSINGS OF GOING DEAF.
SHE DOESN'T WANT TO GO, YOU KNOW.
GO?
TO NEW YORK CITY.
HOLD ON..WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
FATHER, HERE.
OH, THIS IS IT?
YEAH.
THANKS HEAVENS. DOES IT WORK?
WELL, IN ESSENCE IT CREATES
A TEMPLATE PARADIGM BY TRANSPOSING
IN A PREDETERMINED MANNER--
YES.
I'll GO GET MR. BLAINE.
HA, HA, THAT'S GOOD.
I WAS SPEAKING TO YOU, ALEC.
HMM?
JANET SAYS SHE'LL GO BECAUSE SHE THINKS THAT YOU WANT TO GO.
AND EVEN A DEAF OLD LADY CAN TELL THAT
NEITHER OF YOU WANTS TO GO.
SOMETIMES I WONDER HOW THIS MARRIAGE WORKS AT ALL.
[ LAUGHING ]
WELL, IT'S JUST THAT...
WELL, JANET THINKS THAT
I CAN'T BE IMPULSIVE.
WE ALL TAKE FOR GRANTED THE GOOD THINGS THAT WE HAVE.
MAYBE YOU'VE BEEN A LITTLE COMPLACENT.
BUT IMPULSIVE, THAT MEANS POPPING A FLOWER INTO YOUR LAPEL
OR TAKING A CANOE FOR A PADDLE.
LEAVING THE FARM AND MOVING TO ANOTHER COUNTRY
IS A DIFFERENT MATTER ALTOGETHER.
THANK YOU, ELIZA.
NOW I KNOW... EXACTLY WHAT
I'M GOING TO DO.
[ IMITATING BIRD CALL ]
THAT WAS THE BLACKBURNIAN...
HETTY, THESE BLAINES ARE MAKING A FOOL OF YOU.
ANYONE COULD CLAIM A MORE CONVINCING ROYAL LINK.
OH!
[ STRANGE GULPING NOISES ]
AHHH!
[ WHISTLING ]
DOES THAT REALLY LOOK LIKE SOMEONE
OF INTIMATE ACQUAINTANCESHIP WITH THE KING?
NOW, I ASK YOU?
NO, IT DOESN'T.
GET OFF.
MORE, MORE, MORE...
MOST IMPRESSIVE.
LET'S MOVE
STRAIGHT ONWARDS TO THE PIECE DE RESISTANCE
OF THIS EVENING'S ENTERTAINMENT.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MR. ALEC KING
WILL NOW GIVE US HIS RENDITION OF
RUDY AND BETTY BLAINE'S
LATEST COMPOSITION.
[ APPLAUSE ]
A SONG DESTINED TO MAKE OUR ALEC THE TOAST OF
NEW YORK'S GREAT WHITE WAY, UH, "HONKY..."
"TONKY..."
"DONKEY."
IT'S SET FOR "G".
I'M SORRY, RUDY, BUT YOU DON'T NEED ME ANY MORE NOW.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, UH, WITH THIS NEW DEVICE
DEVELOPED BY THE DALE FAMILY, I THINK THAT WE COULD PERSUADE
MR. AND MRS. BLAINE TO PERFORM THEIR NEW COMPOSITION
THEMSELVES TONIGHT -- YES?
BUT JUST BEFORE THAT, IF YOU'LL INDULGE ME
IN A...CERTAIN IMPULSIVENESS,
I'D LIKE TO SING A SONG FOR MY WIFE.
ELBERT, I'M GOING TO NEED YOUR HELP ON THIS.
AND I'D VERY MUCH LIKE MY
DAUGHTER TO COME AND JOIN ME.
CECILY?
[]
ARE YOU WEARY OF ME
MY DARLING?
DID YOU MEAN ALL THOSE WORDS YOU ONCE SAID
THAT MADE ME YOURS FOREVER
SINCE THAT DAY LONG AGO WHEN WE WED?
NOW, IF YOU COULD LIVE
YOUR LIFE OVER
WOULD YOU DO IT
OTHERWISE?
ARE YOU
WEARY OF ME, MY DARLING?
ANSWER ME
WITH...YOUR...EYES
JANET.
WE'RE NOT GOING.
WELL, HERE'S TO THE END OF YOUR SLUMP.
HA, HA, HA.
LET'S SAY I HADN'T
COME OUT OF MY SLUMP.
DO YOU THINK YOU COULD, UH,
I MEAN, WOULD YOU HAVE...
BUT YOU DID.
WELL, LET'S SAY I DIDN'T.
WHAT? IF YOU NEVER WROTE ANOTHER NOTE?
WE WOULD HAVE BEEN OK.
YOU ALWAYS WERE A PRETTY GOOD CARPENTER.
OOH!
HI, MISS HETTY.
I'VE GOT SOMETHING WE WANT TO SHOW YOU.
THANKS FOR THE SWELL PARTY.
THE KING WOULD HAVE LOVED IT.
HA!
NEXT TIME YOU SEE HIS MAJESTY,
YOU MUST REMEMBER ME TO HIM.
WE WERE OLD CHUMS AT SCHOOL.
YOU ARE--
WELL, HERE'S A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR YOUR PORTRAIT FUND.
AND, UH, WE THOUGHT YOU'D APPRECIATE
AN AUTOGRAPHED PICTURE.
VERY THOUGHTFUL.
DON'T FORGET TO TELL GEORGIE,
SIMON SAYS HELLO.
SIMON, NO NEED TO RUB SALT.
CHEQUE.
NOT BAD.
LET ME SEE.
OH!
WITH THIS DEVICE, YOU CAN HAVE BRYCE, JOLSON,
WHOEVER YOU WANT, SING FOR MR. ZIEGFELD.
I'll SAY.
THAT THING IS THE GREATEST.
THANK SELENA.
PURELY MY COUSIN'S INSPIRATION.
I'M JUST SORRY WE COULDN'T USE THE VOICE REPLICATOR.
BUT WHO DO I SEE ABOUT THIS MACHINE?
AHEM.
OH, ALEC, I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.
WELL, I SUPPOSE WE SHOULD GO HOME TO YOUR ORNERY OLD COW.
OH, LET HER WAIT.
TONIGHT, YOU CAN SING IN MY EAR.