- Previously on "Grosse Pointe Garden Society"...
- My friends and I sort of murdered someone.
What are we gonna do about their car?
- Look, if you're trying to fix things with Doug,
hanging out with me so much isn't helping.
- He just doesn't get
that we're not into each other like that.
Come on, it would never happen. - Right. Right.
- Um...
- Want to buy me a cup of coffee?
- Why is she still here? You guys are friends now?
- Could get messy. - Yeah.
- I didn't say messy can't be fun.
- Is it over? - Yes, of course.
- I forgive you. - How can you do that?
- Because you're my ride-or-die.
- Is Gary here? - God, no. It's over.
I ended it.
- Whoa! Hey!
- I'm worried something bad happened.
- Is Gary here?
I haven't heard from him in days.
I'm worried something bad happened.
- Remember that family in Royal Oak--
went to bed on Christmas and didn't wake up?
- Mm-hmm.
- Well, it wouldn't have happened
if Santa had brought them one of these.
- Mm-hmm.
- You okay?
- Yeah.
- Still up for it?
- Yes.
Ooh. Oops!
Um, sorry. Whitening strip.
- Oh. - Okay.
- ♪ Young love ♪
Oh, wait. Um...
Too much red onion in the salad.
- Yeah.
- ♪ Just follow the beat ♪
- Gary might be dead. - Boner killer.
- His wife hasn't heard from him in days.
- The guy's probably just laying low.
- What if he hurt himself?
- More like he bought
a first-class ticket to an island,
and he's laying on the beach pounding mai tais.
- I just feel like this is all my fault.
- You know, the more you talk about this, the hotter it gets.
- Sorry.
- Look, I want to make this work,
but we got to get this guy out of our bed.
- So, apparently, I can't just give Ford a bunch of money.
It has to go through this whole endowment thing
that my ex-husband set up. - Mm.
Who knew you needed a college degree
to understand a college scholarship?
- Don't look at me.
- Hey, I just played football at Kalamazoo.
- How'd you go from that to cop?
- Well, I blew out my shoulder and tried to get into the FBI.
But I lied on my polygraph.
- Oh.
About what?
Yeah, no, we are not good enough friends yet.
- Come on. Who'd you kill? - Nope.
- Arson. It's in your eyes.
You like to burn things.
Only if you tell me about your ex.
- Fine. Which one?
- Well, how many are there? - Let's see.
First, there was Eddie in aerospace.
He liked to drive fast and fly high.
We had a pretty good time until his heart gave out.
- Oh. Too much excitement?
- And cocaine. - Hmm. Yeah.
Well, uh, who's up next?
- Mm, Marcel was a real bon vivant.
He owned a bunch of vineyards outside Calais.
Everybody loved him,
except the people he conned into buying hotels
that he didn't own.
- Yeah, all these guys, they sound really stable.
- Uh, maybe I'm...
meant to be alone.
Yeah.
Thing is, you know, even when you're with somebody,
you can still be alone.
- I think I'm...
probably just a lot to come home to.
- Or you just haven't found the guy that can handle it.
- Are we good enough friends to tell me
about that polygraph yet?
Getting closer.
- Pollination's an essential element
of any healthy garden.
- ♪ Blood on the grass, blood on my knees ♪
- Bumblebees return to the same flower
again and again...
- ♪ Scream on the breeze ♪
♪ You make me laugh, you bless my sneeze ♪
- You want to get really crazy?
- ♪ Feels good to find someone ♪
- While butterflies are easily distracted
by bright petals and long stems.
- Can we--can--can we watch something else?
- It's so hot.
- Where are we? - You'll see.
- ♪ You helped me back up and kiss my lips sore ♪
- Watch your step. Just-- - Okay.
Can I open them now?
Now.
Oh, my gosh!
Hi!
Wait, what? How?
- My boss does their signs for free.
- Yo, do you have a plunger?
Asking for a friend.
- I know you're not ready, but when you are...
- But in the end,
it really doesn't matter who's pollinating who.
The secret to a great garden
is great sex.
- Mm. - Lower?
- Higher.
Uh-uh, lower.
- Why are we putting in bird traps anyway?
- They're feeders.
- Judges give extra points for a variety of wildlife.
So this is perfect for orioles and finches.
- Oh, that makes way more sense.
- Also, coyotes. - Ugh!
- Unless you want them to eat the birds.
Oh, so your phone does work.
- Oh, I know. I got your text. I forgot.
- I was just wondering
if we're gonna watch the Tigers game tomorrow.
These apps are making me insane.
- Yeah, someone should really invent
a better way to have anonymous sex.
- Yeah. - Why are you even on them?
- What do you mean?
- I just mean you never really put yourself out there.
Contrary to what you all may think, I'm still a dude.
- Yeah, you are.
All man.
- I just meant since your divorce.
- Yeah, I'm overdue. - I love it.
Release the kraken.
- I'll take anyone who's semi-normal
who can semi-appreciate me.
- Oh, that app definitely does not exist.
- So are we watching the game or what?
- Uh, yeah. Yeah, that'd be cool.
- O'Sullivan's is playing it in their beer garden.
- Yeah, I'll text you.
- So, uh, what height don't we want to feed the coyotes at?
- Kind of just want to talk about the whole college thing.
- So have you looked at any schools yet?
- Not really.
- Did you talk to that guidance counselor lady?
- Nope.
- So what are you thinking?
- I'm thinking I might not go.
You don't get the money if you don't go.
- Can't you just give it to someone else?
- I'd rather give it to you.
- Yeah, well...
it's just a lot for my family to process right now.
- What are you talking about?
- I don't know.
Things are weird at home, okay?
- Okay.
- They just don't need the stress
of all the applications and the campus tours.
- Maybe I can make it easier on your parents.
- You've done enough.
- If you change your mind--
- Just...
leave me alone.
- Hmm...
Gary?
Gary.
What happened to you?
Oh, my God.
- It looks worse than it is.
- Are you missing a tooth?
- Just stay away from me, okay?
- Wait!
- And don't tell your husband about this.
- Guys, I know this is awful and no amount of therapy
is ever gonna make us normal again,
but right now, we gotta get this out of here.
- What have we done?
- That is not a useful question!
- Will you give her a break?
- Okay.
The question is, how do we get the body to the garden?
- What about your truck?
- I can't move this by myself. - We can all do it.
- You want me to touch a dead person?
- Okay, just pull around to the loading dock.
- No, we can't use the truck. The back's all open.
- Oh, perfect.
So, if anyone looks, they'll be like,
"Hey, murderers, this your corpse back here?"
- Then we'll use their car.
- Who's gonna drive a dead person's car
with the dead person in it?
- I will.
- No, no, no, no. Hell no!
- It should be me. - Guys...
- Why you? Why not her?
- I'm still drunk.
- Yeah, and she's on probation for drunk driving.
- Guys... - Right. She knows how.
I can drive the body.
All of this is my fault.
- You can't go alone. - She won't be.
- Why me?
- If we get pulled over,
you're the drunk friend who needs a ride home.
- ♪ Right before my very eyes ♪
- S-T-O-P.
- ♪ I thought that you were only faking it ♪
♪ And like before ♪
- S-T-O-P.
- Why do you keep doing that?
- Fully spell out "stop," and it's a complete stop.
- Good tip. - Lots of practice.
- Oh, no.
- What is that? - I don't know.
I don't know. - What is that?
- I'm telling you, I don't know.
- Well--S-T-O-P! - Oh!
We're out of gas.
- Like, "out of gas" out of gas?
Or, like, "there's still a few days left" out of gas?
- It's below empty.
- Who drives on empty?
- Someone who doesn't think they're gonna end up
in their own trunk.
- Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. - Okay, we just--
we gotta get gas.
- With a dead person in the trunk?
- Would you rather be stranded on the side of the road
with a dead person in the trunk?
- I'd rather go home and take a shower.
- Okay, we just gotta find a gas station...
- Oh, please.
- And act like a couple of prom queens
who just had the time of their lives.
- I can't do this. - Hey.
You can.
- How are you so calm?
- I've learned people are capable
of way more than you think.
- ♪ Baby, what a big surprise ♪
- Hold still, Daddy. You're gonna smudge it.
- Oh, that's nice.
- The pinkies are the hardest part.
- Oh.
- Okay, both of you go upstairs and brush your teeth, please.
- But I'm not done with Daddy's manicure.
- But I'm gonna look so pretty for my 10:00 with sales.
All right, off you go.
There you go.
Mm.
By the way, poker night tonight.
I'm gonna miss dinner.
- Oh.
You'll also miss our appointment.
- Damn.
- But, uh...
you missed last night too.
The therapist says we gotta stick to the intimacy schedule.
- Sorry, babe, I've just been slammed at work.
- Sure you're not avoiding me?
- Come on, now.
- Ran into Gary at the mall.
- How was his vacation? - Not great.
- Oh? - He didn't get a tan.
He...
he got his ass kicked.
- Well, did he say who did it?
- Oh, clearly someone who thought he deserved it.
- Yeah, well, I bet there's a lot of husbands
who want to knock out that guy's teeth.
All right, kiddos.
Daddy's train is about to leave the station.
Let's go!
- Say bye to Mommy. - Bye.
- Have a great day.
- All right, let's boogie.
- Hey, hey, hey. Um, wait a minute.
How did you know he had a tooth missing?
- You said he had been worked over.
- Right.
- Probably had a broken nose too.
- No, I can't ask that.
Because I'm at some dude's apartment right now.
Yes, I slept over.
Why can't you do it?
What? I gotta go.
- Last night was, uh...
was really fun.
- Got a little crazy. - Mm.
The good kind? - The best kind.
- Oh, it's cool if you have to go or--
- I don't want to. - Oh, then stay.
- I can't.
- Am I making it weird?
- Uh...
I kind of lied on my profile.
- Yeah.
There's someone else. - Oh, no.
I mean, there is someone else, but it's just--
it's not that kind of someone else.
- Oh, like, an open relationship?
- I have a kid. - Oh!
Why'd you lie about that?
- I mean, what guy wants to hear about the stripper's kid?
- Wait, wait, wait. You're a stripper?
- No, I just mean, like, single moms
aren't exactly killing it on the apps.
- Sorry, do you have anything for a second grader's lunch?
My ex forgot to pack one for her field trip.
You've come to the right kitchen, my friend.
Boom. - Oh!
- Mm-hmm. - Hello.
I was just hoping for popcorn and Gatorade.
- No, Lunchables, Uncrustables,
fake cheese, yogurt tubes.
- My knight in shining armor.
- Ooh, I'm gonna add that to my profile.
Um...okay.
So I'm just going to hijack the rest of your coffee,
and I'll get myself out of here.
- Or you could come back later, and I'll take you to breakfast.
- I'd like that, Brian.
- Brett.
- Are you sure? - Ah...
I'm stealing your shirt!
- Okay, so we have potato skins shaped like mitts,
chicken nuggets shaped like little home plates,
and taquitos--
- Shaped like penises?
- Those are baseball bats.
- You didn't have to go to all this trouble.
- Oh, don't be silly. I do this every game.
- You always make penis taquitos?
- We felt bad for you, okay?
- Yeah, you know, just with Brett blowing you off.
- Oh, he didn't blow me off.
He just sent me the shrugging cat emoji.
- What does that even mean?
- That he got a better offer?
- Yeah, okay, that would drive me crazy.
- Well, he's allowed to have fun.
- Let's hope the fun he ends up with is down
with him having a girl bestie.
- Why wouldn't they be?
I'm married.
- You're also super bomb,
so they might have a slight problem.
- Well, I'm not worried.
- Okay, great.
Well, then how do you and Brett normally do all this?
- Oh, we usually do a shot
every time someone gets a double or more.
- I can't do shots.
I have to take the kids to school in the morning.
- I'll just do a shot every time
they pat each other's butts.
- Oh, you're gonna be wasted.
- Well, then I think I found my sport.
- ♪ Come on, come on ♪
♪ Just make that Tootsee Roll ♪
♪ Here we go, here we go ♪
♪ Just make that Tootsee Roll ♪
♪ Yeah, come on ♪
- You could send it to voice mail.
- But then he'll know that I saw he called.
- ♪ And make that Tootsee Roll ♪
- Who's "Hot Cop"?
- Something I'm trying to quit.
- No one patted a butt. - They will.
- Hey, guys, can we please just watch the game?
- Yeah, sure. - Mm-hmm.
- Okay.
Oh, my bacon-wrapped dates!
Oh, no, no, no, no, no! - Oh, it's for the best!
There's so much food. - Oh, no, no!
Oh, God! Oh!
- Do you want some help? - Oh, Jesus!
- Oh. - Can you get the broom?
- Yeah, where is it? - Just right over there.
Oh!
No, no, no, no, no.
Here, here, here.
- Oh, thank you. Jesus!
Come on. Stop.
Oh.
Oh!
Oh, Tucker just installed these.
He's gonna kill me.
- Is that a camera?
- You might want to rethink doing that shot.
- How was poker night? - Oh, great. Won big.
- Enough to replace the smoke detector I broke?
- What happened?
- Burned some appetizers,
but you probably already knew that.
I don't want to be spied on.
- Well...
I didn't want you to bang Gary in our bed.
- Oh, my God. - But here we are.
- You said you forgave me. - You fell in love with him.
- So you pulverized his face?
- You know, it was my guys, actually.
- Your guys?
You put in office alarm systems.
- We also do response security.
- Well, they responded.
- Look, I'm just trying to protect my family.
You don't have to do all this.
- Neither did you!
- You have me now. - Do I?
Come on, Tucker.
- You only ended it because you got played.
- I'm yours.
- How am I supposed to ever believe that?
- I mean...
how many times can you dock in Saint-Tropez
without feeling like it's Groundhog Day?
- Yachts-- can't live with them,
can't torch them for the insurance payout.
God, I miss you sometimes.
- Well, you shouldn't have divorced me.
- You were sending me to an early grave.
- Well, that was the plan.
How are your kids?
- Monica is enjoying a brief stint
back in her artists' colony.
- You mean rehab?
- Their therapeutic arts program is exceptional.
More importantly, how's your kid?
- Mm.
He wants nothing to do with me.
- Neither do mine.
- At least they want your money.
- So write him a check. - I tried.
Write a bigger one.
Maybe I'm not cut out for, you know, motherhood.
- Liam would disagree.
- Liam is ten years older than me.
- He still calls you Mom.
- He only started that
when I wouldn't have sex with him.
- Really?
- Christmas trip, Aspen.
- My boy's always had good taste.
- Well, I think my boy might be better off without me.
- It's not that easy.
- It was for the first 16 years of his life.
Why not now?
- Because if you really want to be his mom...
it's not a choice.
- Why didn't we work out?
- I'm an old bore.
- I could use some more boring in my life.
- You fell in love with him.
- I'm yours.
- How am I supposed to ever believe that?
- Okay, this is a good one. Okay.
This is a guy in finance. - Mm.
- But his real passion is doing dance TikToks.
- And he prefers baths over showers.
And he loves using the word "rizz."
Ooh! Uh...
- Hang on, hang on. - You only get one guess.
- Him.
But he's more "YOLO" than "rizz."
- Okay, yes. Now you're getting it.
- Okay, okay, okay, okay. My turn.
- Okay. - Um...
all right.
She's a little kooky.
- Mm...
okay, there's a lot of cray-cray in here tonight.
- But the good kind, like, uh--
like somebody who wants to ride the biggest roller coaster
or, uh, streak a Denny's
or crash somebody's bat mitzvah.
- Mm...give me more.
- Okay.
She smells good, like vacation.
- Ooh, I like that.
- And she's the kind of person
who's just really easy to be with,
especially for a guy who hasn't been on an actual date
in a very long time.
Is it her?
Um, okay, okay, my turn.
- Alice.
Alice.
- Hey.
- Hey. Hey. This is--this is Cricket.
- Oh.
- Cricket, this is, uh-- this is my, um...
garden buddy.
- Yeah.
Well, nice to meet you. - Hi.
- Doug. Not a gardener.
- Did you see the Tigers won? - Oh, yeah.
That bottom-of-the-seventh home run was unreal.
- You watched it? - He almost caught it.
- Yeah, and if this kid in front of us
didn't bring his stupid mitt, like--
- Wait, you were there? - Yeah.
Well, uh, someone in Cricket's class
gave her these insane tickets, you know.
- Huh.
- It's just one of the many amazing perks
of being a teacher.
- Huh.
Well, hey, Alice used to teach.
- Oh. Why'd you stop?
- Um, I--
- I can seat you when you're ready.
- Thanks. - Yeah, yeah. We're ready.
Enjoy. - Bye.
- Nice to meet you. - Have a good night.
Oh.
- Can I get you anything to drink?
- Absolutely.
- Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks.
- How was your day?
- Uneventful.
- They come fix the AC?
- Mm-hmm.
Uh...
said we need a new compressor.
- They leave an estimate?
- Over there.
- Hmm.
Was it the supervisor
or the short guy they always send?
Weren't you watching?
- Would it upset you if I was?
- No.
- Still have on those green undies?
- They're from France. - Oh.
It's not 9:00.
- I don't care.
Hi there.
How you holding up? - Better.
- Okay.
Good.
I'm gonna ask you something, and, uh...
I need you to stay calm.
- Okay.
- Do you have any cash on you?
- Brett made us leave all our phones and purses
at the garden center so they couldn't track us!
- I just, uh--I meant, like...
tucked away in your bra or something.
- What? Like, someone gave me a tip?
- Okay.
Okay, check the glove compartment.
- All right. Uh, what about under the seat?
Oh...
- Okay. - What do we do?
- Nothing you're gonna like.
You take left pocket. I'll take right.
- Oh, God, this is all kinds of wrong.
- Pretty much the theme of the night.
Oh!
Ugh, it's used. - Oh, God.
- Oh, God, gross.
- Oh, oh, oh. - What?
- That's at least half a tank of gas.
- Oh, great. Now we're drug dealers too.
Wait!
The name's on the bottle.
- I kind of like her.
- What do you like about her?
- I mean, what's not to like?
She's hot, funny, down-to-earth.
- Yeah, I guess.
- Mm. She's even a teacher.
- Yoga teacher.
- Whatever.
Brett's definitely getting pregnant tonight.
- So what exactly is a garden buddy?
- Wait, are you weirded out that my best friend is a girl?
- Oh! - Ah.
- I'm sorry, I thought she was just your garden buddy.
- Why can't you just be happy for the guy?
- I just feel like my friend can do better.
- Really?
Feels like you're a little jealous.
- Seriously?
- I mean, we've spent enough time talking about it.
- ♪ You got it wrong, it's not as it seems ♪
- So let's stop. - Ah.
- ♪ You're Ascendant Scorpio ♪
- Oh!
- I mean, when you spend a lot of time with someone,
obviously, it crosses your mind.
- I'm not saying you're into her.
- Well, good, 'cause I'm not.
- I'm saying she wants you to be.
- What do you mean?
- I don't know, I just get the vibe
that she's one of those girls, you know?
- Alice is married. - So?
- So she doesn't want to be with me.
- Mm, maybe not.
But she definitely doesn't want you
to be with anyone else either.
- Hmm.
- ♪ Nowadays ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
Oh, come on.
- License, please.
- Are you kidding me?
- You rolled through the stop sign.
- No, I didn't.
Because now I do this new trick--
S-T-O-P.
- You had anything to drink?
- It's, like, noon.
- Please step out of the car.
- What, you gonna have me walk the line,
touch my nose, do the chicken dance?
- I want to know what you told my son.
- Excuse me?
- Well, he's not going to college now because of you.
That's what he said.
- Hmm.
Well, he told me it was because your marriage
is a dumpster fire.
- What's that got to do with you?
- Let's be honest.
I'm not helping your situation.
- Nothing's happened. - Not yet.
- We're just friends. - Joel.
- That's the deal.
- Yeah, it's also called an excuse.
- Okay, speak for yourself.
Oh, so I'm the lunatic
who's just imagined we've been dying
to get into each other's pants?
- Hey, I'm sorry if I've given you the wrong idea.
- No wonder you failed that polygraph.
You're a terrible liar.
- Yeah, well, I guess you'll never know.
- Unless there's a better test.
- ♪ Play it on my radio ♪
♪ Play it on my radio ♪
- Another fail.
- Hold on.
- You know the tragedy in all this?
That kid is smarter than both of us.
- Have a nice day.
- ♪ Work, show me what you workin' with ♪
♪ Uh, show me now ♪
♪ Baby, you are chosen now ♪
♪ Might put a hole to ground ♪
♪ 'Cause I could see you hold it down ♪
♪ Ride with it ♪
♪ Feeling your beat, ready to ride with it ♪
♪ We could kick it, bring the night with it ♪
♪ Get worthy, step 'em outside with it ♪
♪ Work, work, we can work ♪
♪ Show me what you workin' with ♪
♪ Got a vision in the mind of a marksman ♪
♪ Like the eye of the bull on target ♪
♪ And you shine like a diamond, flawless ♪
♪ I see you flirtin' ♪
♪ Do a little twerkin' ♪
♪ Wanna know for certain
♪ If I see beyond the surface ♪
♪ Work, work it ♪
♪ Gotta make it worth it ♪
♪ Or you're not as perfect ♪
♪ Hey, yeah ♪
♪ Hey, work it ♪
♪ Hey, yeah ♪
♪ Hey, work it ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
Mrs. Crosby?
- Oh!
I, um--I was just getting a jump on the dishes for you.
Thank you.
20 on pump 3.
- Okay.
20 bucks.
- Have you...
you ever have that kind of night
where one bad decision just...
leads to another...
and another and another?
- Nobody chooses to work here.
So then you get it.
You don't have any cash, do you?
- Or a card or a phone.
You can use mine.
The people I would call don't have their phones either.
- Okay.
- It's just...
you and me, DJ.
You're all I got.
What?
- Hey, clean your windshield for 10 bucks.
- I'll clean your windshield for 5.
I don't have a car.
- Oh, come on.
Eh, that's rude.
- 2 bucks apiece.
You won't find a deal like that on the street, my friend.
- All right.
- Thank you so much.
- But I'm also gonna need that bracelet.
- For 20 bucks of gas?
Well, how bad do you need it?
What about my earrings?
- Yeah, what about them? - They're worth more.
- Mm, my mom doesn't have pierced ears.
Bracelet.
It's not funny!
- How much did they see? - Like, half my vagina.
Oh, my God.
Ah.
Well...
better them than another man.
- I'm sorry.
- We have to get past what I did.
- I know.
- This isn't who we are. - I know.
- You're not a Mob boss, and I'm not a French maid.
- Well...
where do we start?
- Uh...
- Oh, God.
- Um--hey, what's up?
- We need to talk.
Alice, I'm working.
Now I'm a customer.
- Uh, how can I help you, ma'am?
- Um, I was just wondering
why you're being such a dick.
- For real? - Yeah.
Yeah, it's like my best friend's trying to dump me.
- Well, uh, if this person really is your best friend,
maybe you should realize he has his own life
and it can't always revolve around yours.
It doesn't.
Who do you expect to just drop everything
when you have a bad day?
- That's how you see it?
- Or when you have an argument with your husband
or your in-laws are all up in your business?
- Well, you give good advice.
- You treat me like an emotional support animal.
- Are you kidding me?
Who was there for you when your wife walked out?
- Six years ago.
- This is so unfair, and you know it.
- Well, then maybe I'm--
I'm just tired of being your shoulder to cry on.
- It's called friendship.
- But what do I get out of it?
- What are you saying?
- I think...
This just isn't working right now.
- What?
You have no idea what you're doing to me.
- Well...
Maybe you should talk to your husband about it.
- When pollination fails,
it can be devastating for a garden.
Two flowers competing for the same ladybug
means one will die.
- I know you don't like me very much.
- Why does that matter?
- Because your son is about to throw his life away.
And we're gonna have to do something about it.
- ♪ I've reached a point where ♪
♪ I think I have it all ♪
♪ No more notes ♪
♪ So take me now ♪
- A pesticide meant to protect a bloom
does the opposite when it poisons the milk beetle.
- ♪ 'Cause I don't want to know ♪
♪ If everything must go ♪
♪ Please let me have this ♪
♪ Or take me now ♪
- What happened to you guys?
- We took a detour.
- Are you guys okay?
- I had to do something that might not be good for us.
- Like everything in nature,
the balance of pollination is delicate.
- And you never know which way it's gonna go
till it's too late.