Don't worry, just take a long breathing.
It's not opening we need to cut it.
She looks like a fairy
When I was born,
my grandmother said I looked like a little fairy.
Congratulations!
I was born with a smile on my face,
as the first child in our family,
my mother and father were so happy.
What shall we name her?
We shall name her Ria.
I was loved by everyone in my family.
My father was like a friend to me.
I remember my birthday at school.
It was a very special day.
Do you know the meaning of Ria?
My teacher told me
my name means fairy in Arabic,
Since that day, I started to feel that I am a real fairy.
My sixth birthday was the greatest day of my childhood.
My father made me wing, real wing.
All I wanted to do was sit on my father's shoulders and fly.
Faster father faster, faster father faster.
I still don't understand why we have to do this.
It has been our culture for generation now.
We have to do it.
Otherwise we can't get her married when she's old enough.
I don't like this at all.
Why are we so different than others?
Ria, why are you eating so fast?
I want to go outside to play with my friends.
Not today Ria.
But why mother?
Today we have to go to your auntie's house.
Which one?
Shabana, you have to wear this, okay?
Okay.
Eat this.
I will eat.
I forgot something.
Salam.
Salam, are you auntie Shabana.
Not me, I am Rabia.
Hey, I like your wings.
Dear Ria, you stay with Rabia.
I'm going to find Auntie Shabana, okay?
Okay.
Go with her.
Come in, we'll have some fun.
Which colour do you like?
Pink.
Take it.
Thank you, it's so pretty.
You're welcome, you stay here.
I will come back in a bit.
Hello dear, do you know who am I?
I am Shabana auntie.
Where's my mother gone?
Don't worry, she's just waiting outside.
Wow, look at these feathers.
They're so beautiful.
This is my fairy wings.
Can I have them?
But it's mine.
You are a funny girl.
So you wear this every time, huh?
Of course, because I'm fairy.
You know, I make real ones.
But how, sit here, I will show you how.
Do not make any move, just quiet.
Stop pushing me, please stop.
Where are you, no, help me, no.
Where are you?
Stay still, don't make any noise.
Just calm down, calm down Ria.
Stop, help, it's hurting.
Ria, my baby.
Mother, my wings.
Can you fix them?
I'm sorry dear.
I was only seven,
in that room, they crushed my wings.
They clipped it off so that I may never be a fairy again.
My own strength surprised me.
I didn't think I was going to survive
during or after, but somehow I did.
When a body part is amputated or cut off,
you have no choice but to live with it
And I,
I lived with it.
I focused on playing with my sisters,
Naila and Salma.
When I was 17, I even had a dream
to become a community worker.
I wanted to help people.
One day, Naila told me that she had a nightmare.
She said she was drowning in the river.
Sister, I want to say something.
What is it?
I was drowning in a river, it scared me.
Don't worry, it was just a bad dream.
What if it happens for real?
Then I will just jump in and save you.
I told her, I will save you, I will always save you.
Someone wants to see you.
Really?
She is waiting there.
Come with me.
Is everything okay mama?
Yes, everything is okay.
Just go with your father, house work is done.
Let's go outside.
Why?
We have visitors.
What about Naila?
She's fast asleep, let's go.
Hello, little princess, do you remember me?
What are you doing here?
I'm here for your sister Naila.
Soon she will be fairy just like you.
I won't let you go inside.
Silly girl, if you go against our religion,
do you know what will happen?
Don't touch me.
Don't be stupid Ria,
every woman have to go through this.
Now, get out of my way.
I said I won't let you go inside.
I will see how you stop me.
Father, tell her something.
Tell her she can't go inside.
Ria, don't do this.
Father please.
Let's go.
You don't know what she's going to do to Naila,
someone please.
Father, father, father please.
Please, please don't, no, no, no,
Father please, Father please.
What I witnessed today, this was a disgrace.
I'm sorry.
It was an attack against our traditions.
I don't know what came over her.
I promise this won't happen again.
She ashamed us.
She needs to respect our culture.
Her colleagues, friends are a bad influence.
Listen, Hamid, you have got two options now.
Leave or get her married.
I couldn't keep my promise,
on that day, I couldn't do anything to save Naila.
I didn't try hard enough,
to see her in that much pain broke me,
broke my heart.
I'm sorry Naila.
I know that's not enough, but I'm so, so sorry
I couldn't protect you.
Why did Allah create us with imperfections?
Why is he letting us suffer this much?
What is the lesson we have to learn?
Salam, are you okay?
Please come in.
Yes.
Have you made a decision?
What can I do?
I'm not in a position to leave the house
and Ria is not old enough to get married.
Ria is a daughter to me you know, look,
I have very good news for you my friend.
Remember Masood the family from the UK, you don't.
Everybody knows them.
They are sheikh's friends.
They want a girl for their eldest son Raja
as soon as possible.
But Ria is underage.
Don't worry, I'll sort this out, he'll look after you.
I know she's very dear to you and you love her,
I am sorry, but she has to go.
Mother.
I don't want to get married.
Dear, please try to understand.
We all go through this, it's okay.
Listen, they are coming tomorrow.
Make sure she is ready.
Why can't we run away, far away, so no one can find us?
I have to tell you something.
What is it?
My parents, they want me to get married.
What, this is not right.
I will talk to your dad.
I will talk to.
Don't, you have to respect my decision.
I hate it, I hate it.
I can't imagine my life without you.
I am serious Ria, I can look after you.
I can give you a better life.
Mr. Raza's Marriage,
with Mr. Hamid's daughter Miss Ria,
has been fixed for the Dower payment of Rs. 25,000.
Do you accept this marriage?
I Do.
Do you accept this marriage?
I Do.
Do you accept this marriage?
I Do.
Miss Ria, do you accept this marriage?
I Do.
Praise the God.
Sometimes there is no choice.
All actions, big or small, have consequences.
On that day, I would have done anything
to keep my family honors safe.
So on that day,
I had to leave everything and everyone behind
the Ria that I had known for 17 years died.
She had to, for her family.
Adjusting to living in a new country
as a new woman, in a new family was hard.
England was different.
The weather, the air, the way people dressed,
even the way they went to the toilet
on a chair was different.
Being a wife was different.
Ria, Ria are you there?
Coming.
Salam.
Salam Ria, can you take these bags
to the kitchen please?
Let me help you.
It's fine.
Salaam alaikum.
Wa alaikum salaam.
It's prayer time.
Thank God you reminded me.
Ria, oh Ria.
The good old wife is back.
You better look after yourself, huh?
Shall I make you something to eat?
No, no, no, I will eat with the whole family.
Shall I give your medicines?
I will take it myself, thank you.
I didn't know if Raja was a good husband.
I had never had a husband before
and I didn't know much about him.
As far as I knew, we did all the things
married people were supposed to do.
It wasn't my place to ask him where he went
in the day or ask about his friends.
That was his life, not mine.
Come.
Is it all there?
I'm sure, I got you a watch.
You got me a watch.
It's worth five grand.
It's a Rolex, bro,
I'll get your money tonight, bro.
Ria, wake up.
I thought marriage
was meant to be a happy thing, but for me.
What is it?
Marriage meant pain.
I wished for the days to never end.
Because it always happened at nighttime.
Imagine you have an open wound that is trying to heal.
If you keep picking the scab, it will never heal.
Every night, my wound was ripped open.
Why would anyone enjoy going through that pain
with their husband every time?
Did he know the excruciating pain I was in?
Did he care, was it painful for the men too?
It never made sense to me.
I was this a natural thing in life.
What is wrong with this girl?
Always sick, sick, sick.
Why don't you take her to a doctor?
She doesn't need any doctor,
this is just an excuse
so she doesn't have to do anything.
I just wish I can forget.
Forget the pain, forget what happened.
Especially, forget what life was like before that day.
Maybe if I forget how easy things were,
how pain free life was,
then I won't know what I'm feeling is pain.
Ria, is it me or is it your nightmares
that's making you cry?
Or is it, no, no, no.
Don't cry, no.
No matter how hard I try to forget
during the day, at night, my dreams always remind me.
They take me to dark places
and I wake up remembering everything,
every detail, every second of what happened.
And just like that, I remember the little fairy
that had her wings clipped.
Hi Ria, I've got your test results here
and I have some news for you.
You are six weeks pregnant.
A baby.
Sickness is very common in early pregnancy.
It usually clears up between 12 to 20 weeks.
But you could come back to see me if you need to.
I will give you a list of vitamins including folic acid.
Ria, you okay?
You need to take care of yourself you know,
you'll be fine, don't worry.
This can't be all that defines me.
Or is it?
Is this what it means to be a woman?
Fam, fam, I ain't gonna let you down.
Hello, Jack, p♪♪k.
Hi, are you okay?
Do you want me to show you where reception is?
Father in law knew straight away
that he was going to be a grandfather.
Maybe he could see the fear in my eyes.
Or maybe it was just the constant sickness.
I will never know how he knew, but he did.
And he even tried to find a wife,
so that I could have a restful pregnancy
and future with the baby.
From that moment,
I knew my life will never be the same again.
Check,
I'm so proud of my daughter.
Look how beautiful she is.
You know, I would do anything for my daughter.
Should do Rukhsati at 10 o'clock,
and then Walima in the evening?
Yes, I'm happy with that.
What do you think Mr Masood?
Nasreen is the boss, let's keep her happy.
After all, she is my wife.
Scare the devil out of me.
How's the wife and kids?
Yeah, doing all right mate.
Have a good night.
Now, let's go.
Is it hot?
No, it's my cut.
How are you?
I'm fine.
Mom told me that you're six weeks pregnant.
Is that true?
Yeah.
Why didn't you tell me?
I just found out yesterday.
Okay.
Hey, does that mean we are gonna be mommy and daddy?
Yeah.
You know, from now on Ria,
they're gonna be a queen of this house.
You just relax, look after yourself
and if you ever need anything, come to Raja.
Come here.
What a youngster, what a prospect.
Made a tea for you girls.
Can you make some pakora's Ria?
Ria, is the pakora's ready.
Ria, why do you have to do this?
Leave her alone.
Don't you know she is sick? she's pregnant.
It'll never happen if you don't go in.
I can't.
You know, the first time is always the hardest.
I'm Emma by the way, I teach here part-time.
Ria.
My name is Ria.
That's a lovely name Ria.
Shall we go in?
I don't have the time.
It'll only take a couple of minutes.
Come on, I insist.
Okay.
This is a form.
I can fill this in with you if you like.
And how are you spelling Ria?
RIA.
You know you could do my course if you wanted.
But I don't have any money.
They're all free.
It's the best one.
What's wrong?
No.
It's only 12 weeks, the course.
My husband wouldn't like it.
Emma was different to me.
She was outspoken and smart and independent.
She was kind to me for no reason.
And so we became friends.
Sometimes I wondered,
is all the women in England really like her?
Salam.
Wa-alaikum-salaam.
Shall I make you something to eat?
No, no, sit down.
Mom says you were late today, why?
I was feeling sick so I sat down.
Are you okay?
Sit down, where?
Where were you sitting down?
At the park.
Which park?
The one opposite the college.
Anyway, listen, don't let happen again.
All right?
You gotta look after yourself, you know?
'Cause you got my kid in you.
Oh, hey.
Yeah, you outside.
All right, see you.
Ria.
I don't think this is a good idea.
Don't say that, you're not doing anything wrong.
It's only a half hour class.
No, I should go.
Wait, I have an idea.
Are you registered with a midwife yet?
I've explained to your wife
that yoga classes will help her back pain.
Is it necessary?
I mean, can't she do this yoga thing at home?
It's very important that she's monitored
by a qualified instructor.
So what I recommend now that you book an appointment
with the receptionist to see the midwife
sometime next week.
Do I have to go then?
I would say so, 'cause it's really
that she gets through medical care.
Is that all?
That's all.
It was when I met Emma that I realized my baby
was just a miracle I needed in my life.
My little guardian angel, my best friend.
I knew from now on I would never have to be alone again.
Maybe it was weird that I was going to college
while pregnant, but I didn't care.
I have to go to the midwife.
I always wondered what Raja would do
if he found out I was lying
about seeing the midwife so often, but I felt safe.
No man would harm his own child, right?
So, for as long as I was pregnant,
I knew I could go to college.
You all right?
Yeah, how are you?
I'm, okay, we're good.
Nice car.
Thank you.
Come bro, we gotta get outta here.
Where you going bro?
Pick up my wife.
You got money?
Yeah, yeah.
Show me.
Got everything here.
So who's that then, you all right babe?
Mind your own business.
All right, calm down.
Junkies.
Raja, drugs is haram.
Ria, don't embarrass me.
Shut up.
Come on, get outta here, hurry up.
I made a mistake.
I'm sorry.
You embarrassed me in front of my crew.
You are sorry?
Why Ria, who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Hello, Naila.
So painful sister, please come back.
I know, I feel your pain.
But listen, you will get used to it.
You have to learn to live with it.
Are they going to do same thing to our baby sister?
Yeah, they will.
But don't you worry yourself with that
and tell parents how you are feeling.
How are you keeping?
I'm okay.
I will call you again.
You look after yourself, okay?
I wish I was there with you as well.
I love you.
What you want?
Can you stay with me tonight?
Why?
I don't feel too well.
You look fine to me.
I don't feel right living here.
What are you on about now Ria?
It's not the ideal place to bring up.
That is nonsense.
There's nothing wrong with my home for a baby.
It's all in your head.
You can.
Please listen to me.
What have you done?
Ria, Ria.
Ria, hello Ria, my name's Dr. Smith.
How are you feeling?
Unfortunately, we weren't able to save your baby.
I'm so sorry.
Ria, I noticed what you've been through,
Female genital mutilation, FGM.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
Support and help are available,
but now might not be the right time.
Listen, I'll leave you to rest now,
but let know if you'd like to talk.
Unfortunately, we weren't able to save your baby, so sorry.
You embarrassed me in front of my crew.
They are coming tomorrow.
Make sure she is ready.
Stop her please, please.
What if it happens for real?
Then I will just have to jump in and save you.
Why Mother?
Faster father, faster.
No, No, No. Some one help me
Mother, help me please.
You've been so brave, you've done the hardest bit.
And I promise you that we are gonna do this together.
This is your new chapter.
This is a new future.
And I'm gonna be with you
every step of the way that you want me to be.
Yo.
Listen, I need you to go out there
and find Ria for me.
She ran off.
Keep your eyes open.
Fam, do you really want her back?
Of course I want her back, bro.
She knows too much.
Plus you, you owe me all right Mo.
Just do what I said bruv.
Okay man, chill, chill, I'll make it happen.
I just want to thank you for everything that you've done.
No worries.
Just promise me you'll never go back to that horrible man.
But I have to, he is my husband.
The same thing happened to my sister.
I will not allow it to happen again.
So what do I do?
First, look after yourself, sort you out.
And then when you're feeling a bit stronger, divorce him.
I'll help you with everything, I'll take to the solicitors.
Everything.
You make it sound so easy.
It is.
But I'm not strong like you.
You are.
Look, think about your family, your sister.
You're no good to her dead.
Yes.
Go find Raja.
Why?
Look at this, look at this.
Ria wants a divorce?
Go find Raja.
He need to sort this mess out.
Bro, where are you?
Ahh
Dr. Smith.
Yeah.
Can I have a word?
Yes, of course.
This patient here, I'm worried about her.
She's refusing to speak at all.
Okay, Leave it to me.
I'll go and talk to her.
Thank you.
Hello Ria, do you remember me?
This is my friend, Emma.
Hello.
Are you happy for me to talk to you in front of Emma?
Ria, I was wondering if you'd had time
to think about what we talked about last time,
about what you've been through.
I lost my baby.
I know, I understand you lost your baby.
I was meaning what you went through when you were younger.
I was cut.
Ria, when a girl is cut,
we call it FGM in the UK.
What does FGM stand for?
Female genital mutilation.
And it's illegal in the UK.
But everyone gets cut.
I understand it might happen to everyone
where you come from, but in this country,
we don't allow it to happen.
It's a type of abuse and we have a duty
to protect and support you.
Protect her from what?
We're here to support psychologically Ria
and also from any complications
that might arise because of the FGM.
Including safeguarding any future children
from undergoing the same procedure.
But I thought I couldn't have any more children.
There's no reason why you can't have children,
but we do have to record on your medical records
that you've been subject to type three FGM.
And we would have a duty to protect any daughters
so that they didn't go through the same procedure.
Look, I know this is a lot to take in at this time.
I've got some leaflets that I'll leave with you
and if you've got any questions, don't hesitate to ask me.
Why did she call it a form of abuse?
How can that be?
Why would my parents choose to abuse me?
They loved me, didn't they?
Ria, you okay?
Ria, when you've drunk that, grab your stuff,
I'm taking you to see someone really special.
My name is Hibo Wardere.
I am a campaigner, a mother of seven, a sister, a wife,
a friend, a niece, a granddaughter.
I'm all that.
And on top of that, I'm also a survivor
of female genital mutilation,
which we are here to talk about today.
Why are we discussing this?
This is an issue that is quite taboo,
'cause people are afraid
to talk about women's private parts.
Women themselves are afraid to discuss
that part of their body.
But for me, it's a very important part of our body
because not every woman has that part.
Ours was taken away, our was ripped away.
Ours was taken away in the most painful way.
And we carry that nightmare in our head.
The imagery, the smell, everything we carry that,
there is 200 million women and girls worldwide
live with FGM, have undergone FGM.
In this country alone, in UK,
137,000 women and girls live with FGM.
Girls who are at risk.
66,000 girls are at risk in the UK.
Women who continue to cut their girls
are victims themselves.
They don't realize all the things they go to comes from FGM.
They don't realize it's affecting
every single part of their life.
There's no part of their life that's not touched by it.
They just haven't connected that.
Let me explain what it is before I get into it properly.
Well, there's four types into how this is done.
Type one, which is called Clitoridectomy.
What they do is they A either cut a little bit
of the clitoris or nick it, that's type one.
Type two is either total or partial removal
of clitoris again,
but this time they go a little bit further,
by adding to little bit of vagina lips is cut off.
Type three is total removal of the whole genitalia.
Nothing is left.
And on top of that one, they removed everything.
They removed the, they removed the vagina lip.
They stich you up and leave you with tiny hole
where your wee comes out as droplets.
That is type three, which is called infibulation.
And type four is to do with all non-medical procedures
like piercing, grazing, cauterization, whole labia removal.
And the other one that nowadays famous
called vagina designer.
Which means a woman says, I've given birth,
I feel saggy, baggy down there.
I need to be trimmed a bit.
But that's still part of type four.
Hello, Hello.
Hi, Emma.
Hi great speech.
Thank you very much.
I've been reading your book as well.
Thank you.
I've actually bought a friend with me today, Ria,
I'd really love to meet her.
Bring her in.
Brilliant, have you got time now?
Yes, I do.
Fantastic, thank you.
Ria, Ria.
Hello, nice to meet you.
Have a seat.
Hello Ria, how are you feeling?
What did you think of the talk out there?
Quite a painful and emotional, isn't it?
That how it was for me too
and for the other ladies I'm sure.
When people that we loved told you what was going to be done
to you, was something part of you,
something that we were supposed to be proud of.
And all of a sudden, we are finding out it's not.
It's too hard, that's how I felt.
I don't know how you feel.
It's okay to look at that part.
It's quite frightening to see everything clear.
If you don't wanna talk about it, it's okay.
But I also know, if you start to talk about it,
you will start to have a different outlook.
And the worst part is the people that you loved,
our mother.
Who are we to question it?
We need to question it, we are humans.
We are girls, we are beautiful.
We exist, we live in this world.
We have to question it, we have to.
But it's part of our religion.
That's what they made us believe.
That's what our parents believed.
And it's not their fault either, it's not.
That's what they believed.
But it's got nothing to do with religion.
It's not in Quran.
Do you think Allah will make us with faults?
Do you think Allah will make us with any part of us fault?
No he wouldn't, Allah wouldn't do that.
It's human that decided there's something wrong with us.
It's never been a religion, it's a cultural belief.
Ria, Ria.
Let there be no compulsion in religion
and truth stands out from all the errors very clear.
Help one another in righteousness,
in good deeds and do not help one another
in transgression and bad deeds.
Allah does not like the oppressors.
And Allah does not like those who are oppressors.
They who believe and do not mix their belief with injustice.
Those will have security and they are rightly guided.
Upon the nature which Allah originated,
created the people no alterations to Allah's creation.
Last but not least, dear sister.
Allah is beautiful and surely in likes beauty.
I have got Holy Quran for you to read and go through
all the verses because it clears everything.
This was the first verse of the Quran,
revealed to prophet Mohamed,
Peace be upon him by Angel Gabriel.
Surely read in the name of Allah who has created you.
May his mercy be with you all the times.
About two hours.
Ria.
She was right.
Who?
Hibo.
I don't think I realized at the time,
but my baby had given me the best gift.
The gift of friendship.
The gift of not being alone.
Without my baby, I would have never met Emma.
And without Emma, I would never have had the courage
to stick up for myself.
I wanted better than what life had given me.
And Emma showed me that I deserved better.
I didn't have to just accept the things
I didn't want, no more excuses.
I could turn my life into whatever I wanted it to be,
for the first time, I had control.
So, which one is it?
Over the black car.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
Where'd you get that from?
Don't watch that.
Are you coming to what?
I don't wanna be a part of this.
Coward.
Hey bro, just leave it man.
Shut your mouth.
Open this door Ria.
Ria.
I know you're inside.
Stay there, stay there.
Ria.
Where is she, where's my wife?
Ria's not here.
You're lying to me, where is she?
Where is she?
Stop.
Ria, I need to talk to you, please, Ria.
Hello Mom, it's Raja, he's lost control.
Hello, mom.
Ria come out, please.
Stop it, stop it.
White woman corrupt you.
She is my friend.
No she's not.
She looked after me.
I looked after you.
You kicked me out.
And that was your fault.
I swear to God, I'll kill her.
Raja, it's over.
Get off.
Just put the gun down bro, put the gun down.
Get out my way, get our my way.
Get off me, get off me.
Stop it, stop it, please stop it.
Like I said, all actions have consequences.
This right here is a direct consequence
of me wanting my freedom.
Was I asking for too much?
Do I even deserve freedom now?
Is this the evil to end all evil in my life?
I wonder if I never have the answers to all of my questions.
Maybe one day everything I have been through
will make sense.
But for now, I will choose to move forward with my life
and take the future that was once stolen from me.
And do my best to make sure no young girl
has to go through what I had to go through.
Starting with Salma, I know my worth.
I am more than what has happened to me.
Salma, It's time to go.
I am coming.
I think she will miss them.
Maybe, but she will be happier.