As the old adage goes, if something
sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
Well, not today Elmsdale, because today I can hear
the sound of gunfire in the air
as we mark the start of the official culling season!
So, if you see something on all fours causing a whole lot
of grief, no, I'm not talking about
the beasts in the tavern, grab those .22s
and shoot the little bastards dead.
And if you happen to have a furry little friend,
keep him indoors.
You're listening to Elmsdale 105
and I'm Big Bob loading up and packing down.
Nook?
Come, Nook.
Nook?
Dinner's almost ready.
Smells good, have you seen Nook?
Not in his carrier?
No, I let him out.
Shit.
Did you put water on his paws?
It's nothing he hasn't done before.
He'll be all right, won't he?
He'll be all right.
Congratulations on a real bargain.
Hope you settle in okay.
Heaven knows why you'd wanna take on such a thing,
but good for you.
So for now, just sit back and enjoy the weekend.
Enjoy a glass or two, it's the only chance you'll get.
Here's to living the good life.
Deirdre Bodeen.
It's a shit one.
What do you expect?
Hear that?
Nook.
Nook?
Dinner's ready.
Dinner is ready.
Seriously?
It's fine.
How am I supposed to eat it?
Where do you think he is?
Remember our first night on Hadden Street?
And you thought he'd escaped out a window?
We spent the whole night roaming the neighborhood
in the pitch black calling after him.
Yeah.
That old bitch at number 33 told us to go home.
Yeah, and where we found him?
Mm-hmm.
Little terror.
I guess she was right.
Yeah, hid behind the sink.
Poor darling was so scared.
You were so happy you started
dancing around the room with him.
Think he's in the house?
Maybe.
Point is though, every time we've moved
he's done something like this.
You know?
It's a big orchard out there.
Lot of territory to lay claim to.
It's gonna take me a while.
Why did I let him out of his carrier?
He hates his carrier.
The whole drive.
Are we nuts for moving out here and starting over?
I just mean, now that we're finally in, it just,
It feels so real, you know?
We haven't put all of our eggs in the wrong basket, have we?
You sounded like your mother.
Have we?
We pick fruit, we box it, we sell it.
That's basically what we're dealing with.
I think there's a little bit more to it than that.
We both made the decision.
I know.
I'm sorry.
When's our stuff getting here?
Couple of weeks.
Well.
Gonna need to get a new carpet.
Did you flip the old mattress?
- It's like new. - Ooh.
Nice.
What are you doing?
Yeah.
I thought this house was solid brick but
there's definitely parts that sound hollow.
Great.
I mean, there's no gaps in it, is there?
It adds character.
Come on, come on.
Come on.
Come on yourself, let's nap.
What do we say?
Come on, what do we say?
Go to the country for a simple life.
Yes.
Away from the smog.
We can be self-sufficient again.
We need to be.
We'll make it work.
Out here we can raise a child.
Raise some little garments.
Lamb tractors.
You gotta put the bun in the oven then.
You know what, the oven has been
preheated for a long time.
What was that?
What is it? - I don't know.
What about Nook?
He'll be fine.
How do you know?
He's fine.
That cat's gonna be the death of me.
What?
- Someone's out there. - What?
Someone's out there!
Kill the lights.
There's no one out there.
Are you sure?
You're gonna make it.
Nook.
Hello?
On the first night, he'll watch you play.
He'll lust for more and want his wicked way.
That's it.
He's been in?
Oh, no.
I emptied it.
I'll put some fresh stuff out later.
Do you think this has anything to do with last night?
What do you mean?
Nothing.
It's probably Nook.
That's not funny.
It is a little bit to me.
He's out there, running little rounds with his paws.
Go on, go take a shower.
I'll put you some coffee on.
Thanks.
Oh, be careful in there.
I chased a rat out of there this morning.
Not funny.
You dick! - Sorry, sorry.
Sorry.
You find that stupid thing in our knives and forks?
No, get out!
- Okay. - Get out.
- Going, going. - Jesus.
Breakfast, Nook.
Dammit.
Oh, this place is definitely yours.
I'm allowed space, am I, I'm honored.
You're allowed this space.
What's this? - Old photo.
The ones that took the rest of this junk.
You don't know what junk is.
- This is junk. - This is my man cave.
So no vaginas allowed.
Fine by me.
Don't listen to her.
Jon?
I found a note.
Why didn't you open it?
I'm not touching it.
What does it say?
I think your boobs are nice.
I tend to agree.
Joke, come on, read me it.
It's fucking nothing.
You're freaking out because of Nook.
I'm sorry.
Really.
Come on, I want to show you something.
Look at it, Meg.
It's huge.
I'll put an ad in the paper next week.
Get some help.
You know, it really is beautiful.
You're beautiful.
Come here.
That was for before.
- Hey. - Hey.
What's the time?
Late afternoon.
Don't read that.
Jonathan, this is bullshit.
No seriously, this is bullshit.
He'll keep you warm, you better run away.
Yeah, it is bullshit.
Oh my God.
Somebody's got him.
That's too far.
Nobody's got Nook.
Will you just take a look around?
We're on 10 acres of farmland in the bush.
The cat will come home when he's ready.
He's probably out hunting.
- Hunting? - Or climbing a tree,
or sleeping under one, or just chasing mice,
I don't know! - But what if he's not?
Where are you going?
I'm painting a sign.
Nook!
Come Nook!
Nook!
Nook, please.
Nook!
Grab between the shoulder blades.
Pinch it, tear the muscle from the back.
If you do it right, you can hear a pop.
Get your knife, cut across the back, just about there.
And you stick two fingers in each side of that tear,
and you just rip the little cunt bald.
Cut off the back legs,
you're gonna get the front legs out
when you're cutting that off.
You run your knife up the belly.
Then you rip the guts out with just the two fingers.
There.
But they're best when they're warm.
If you do it in the cold, they go stiff, and it's not good.
Not much of a problem this time of year.
You're gaining perspective out here, boy.
We don't waste the good stuff.
Hey.
About before.
It's forgotten.
The bun is in the oven.
We're gonna be a family.
What are you doing in the dark?
Something's not right.
What?
- Kill the lights. - What?
Shh, turn the lights off.
Come over here.
Don't.
Someone's out there.
- It's just Nook. - It's not Nook.
What?
You gonna go check it out?
Are you scared?
Fine, stay inside.
Just scare him off, all right?
You presume it's a him.
I'll take care of that.
Shine the light super bright, he'll see you coming.
I can't see without it,
it's pitch fucking black out here.
Try to shine it on the ground.
- Diffusion. - Nice work, baby.
Get inside.
Don't shoot my house!
Oh?
Hey!
And stay out!
- Did you see him? - Jesus.
I asked you to stay in the house.
Did you see him?
No, he just sped in there somewhere.
You want to go after him?
Are you sure?
Yeah, let's go.
Shit.
Where you been?
- Bushwhacking. - What's bushwhacking?
I'll show you later.
You got soap in my eye.
Stop being a baby.
Rinse.
Where the fuck's the meat?
I fed a cat.
- What the fuck? - He seemed hungry.
That shit doesn't come in packets.
I know.
So you're a smart cunt are you?
No, I was just.
Just what?
I oughta skin you.
Come on, Mr. Duck, what are you?
I'm a giant wild cat.
Cam?
Hey, what's cooking?
They came back?
I'm calling the police.
Don't fucking bother.
- Why? - What are they gonna do?
I'm cleaning it off now.
Something?
Baby, this is trespassing, or I don't know, vandalism.
It's sick, who would draw that?
I'll just wash it off and we'll forget about it.
It's nothing. - It's not.
Look, will you just fucking give me a break?
I've been at this since the crack of dawn.
Just scrubbing it all morning.
- Wake up! - What do you mean?
What's it gonna take for you to realize
that there is something wrong here?
Well, now you've got this conspiracy in your head.
There's somebody out to get us.
Nobody is. - Conspiracy!
It's fucking kids!
I can't deal with this right now, okay?
Fucking bullshit!
It was kids.
What do you mean by that?
Don't worry!
No.
No!
Oh, Jon.
Come out, you fucker.
Sick.
You can't drink for shit.
But you can take a cone.
I could sure do with that cat right about now.
Where is he fucking gone?
I'll shoot the little cunt.
We'll eat the rat right out of him.
Pussy.
Fuck off.
I ain't never been scared sleeping out here in the bush.
Truth is, hell of a lot safer than my parents' place.
You know,
I keep having this dream, like,
my mother, she's watching me sleeping.
When I wake up in this dream, she comes over to me,
like holding a pillow, as if she's gonna
prop up my head or something.
But.
She doesn't.
She smothers me.
I'm suffocating, I can't fight back,
and she's killing me, my mom's killing me.
I don't know, she keeps, and she puts more pressure on,
I love you, I love you son.
I didn't get a,
still don't.
All I know is, out here in the bush,
no one gives a shit what you do.
We're free.
I couldn't tell you what today's mortgage rate is,
but the truth is, I couldn't tell you
what the fucking mortgage rate is.
All I know is, when the shit hits the fan,
and all those teary eyed people are in their homes,
I'll be out here.
With a big smile on me face.
You okay?
What baby?
I blame you.
That's not fair.
- Just say it. - Say what?
You don't care.
Meow.
Come on.
Stop treating your Big Daddy Bastard.
Try force, Meagan.
Hello?
I need to report,
I need to report a murder.
My cat's been killed. - What?
I can't hear you.
Hello?
Hello, can you hear me?
What, someone's killed your cat?
Yes.
Call Miss Bodeen at the pet store.
- What? - She'll sort you out
with a new one.
This is serious.
Yes, so is me losing a hand
to a no-good cheating bastard.
What isn't is a dead cat during the middle of the cull.
It's just bad luck.
Have a glass of wine, you'll be fine in the morning
after you go to the store.
What are you talking about?
If you had kept it indoors,
this wouldn't have happened.
Go have a glass of wine.
Go have a whole bottle.
Then in the morning, go see Miss Bodeen.
Jesus, tell her it's courtesy of Chief Boyle.
Congratulations.
On a real bargain.
Here's to living the good life.
Come on!
I know you're out here.
I'm gonna kill that motherfucker!
I want to go home now, can we?
Man the fuck up for once!
I've got something for you, you cat fucker!
I've got you,
you little shit!
He's fucking coming!
What the fuck is going?
Meg?
Baby?
Meg.
Meg, wake up, wake up.
Wake up.
Meg, wake up.
Wake up.
We gotta get out of here.
Come on.
Okay.
I can't move my legs.
Look, do not go anywhere.
I'll be right back.
What the fuck?
Please, mister!
Watch the car!
Come on,
I'll get you out of here.
No.
No, no, you little shit!
It's okay.
It's going to be okay.
♪ I stare out into night ♪
♪ Something just don't feel right ♪
♪ In her sight ♪
♪ She's waiting ♪
♪ Through the lamplight ♪
♪ She's watching ♪
♪ For three nights ♪
♪ She's waiting ♪
♪ For three nights ♪
♪ She watching ♪
♪ Face under a grim moon ♪
♪ Will find her staring ♪
Come on, what do we say?
Out here we can raise a child.
♪ Again they left their mark ♪
♪ In her sight ♪
♪ She's waiting through the lamplight ♪
♪ She's watching for three nights ♪
♪ She's waiting ♪
♪ For three nights ♪
♪ She's watching ♪
Hey.
Just open a window.
Something smells funky.
It's called the countryside.
Why did you pack that?
We had some good times with this.
Yeah, well this time, it's staying in the shed.
Look what I found!
Wow, that is so cool.
Deidre, pleasant surprise.
I've got these for you.
Thank you.
Oh, wow, you shouldn't have.
Thank you so much.
It's all part of the service.
What a lovely little kiddo.
Sorry, she's a little shy around strangers.
Say hello to Deidre sweetheart.
Hello.
That's a lovely skipping rope.
Do you want to go play?
This will brighten up the place.
Wow, thank you.
You shouldn't have.
It's a lovely touch.
I said, it's a lovely touch.
It's all part of the service.
And don't forget to drink your wine.
There's one more thing.
A photo.
I always take one of my new clients.
Together.
The kiddo.
Oh no, she's playing.
Just us?
♪ I got a girl she thinks she's a wildcat ♪
♪ I don't know much ♪
♪ But there can't be a cure for that ♪
♪ While I think she's just the most ♪
♪ I'm tired of being used as a scratching post ♪
♪ All right ♪
♪ Me and her may be ♪
♪ Truly sparked ♪
♪ But my skin's all red from all her scratching marks ♪
♪ She's out, out of bed ♪
♪ Where a shooter move ♪
♪ Oh how I spend that whole moon ♪
♪ Oh yeah ♪
♪ Scratching time ♪
♪ I got a girl she thinks she's a wildcat ♪
♪ I don't know much ♪
♪ But there can't be a cure for that ♪
♪ I wish she'd get stuck up a tree ♪
♪ They all walk out ♪
Really, do we have to?
You know, it would be rude not to.
I guess.
Have you seen Clare?
Yeah, she's out there in the orchard.
Do you think she's okay?
She's fine.
You know what?
We should probably make the most of it.
Should we.
Why don't you get that bottle of wine
and we'll go off to the bedroom.
I guess you want the helmet too?
♪ On the first night he'll watch you play ♪
♪ He'll ask for more and want his wicked way ♪
♪ On the second night he'll make you stay ♪
♪ He'll keep you warm ♪
♪ You better run away ♪
♪ On the third night your time is up ♪
♪ He'll beat you black and blue ♪
♪ Daddy's coming for you ♪
♪ I got a girl she thinks she's a wildcat ♪
♪ I don't know much but there can't be a cure for that ♪
♪ While I think she's just the most ♪
♪ I'm tired of being used as a scratching post ♪
♪ All right ♪
♪ Me and her may be truly smart ♪
♪ But my skin's all red from all her scratching marks ♪
♪ She's out, out of bed with a sugar smooth ♪
♪ Oh, hell, I said that old mood ♪
♪ Oh yeah ♪
♪ Scratching time ♪
♪ I got a girl she thinks she's a wildcat ♪
♪ I don't know much but there can't be a cure for that ♪
♪ I wish she'd get stuck up a tree ♪
♪ Then oh, well, that'd be the death of me ♪
♪ Oh yeah ♪