Hey, Duds.
How's Bossman?
You tell him off yet?
He kinda told me off.
You're smarter than him.
He kinda laid me off.
You know what I'm saying?
What? Today?
It's on me.
I wish I could do more.
I've gotta figure out how to make my rent.
The doctor's like, hey,
everything looks good.
But just so you know, the number one cause of death
for people your age is homicide.
I'm like, is that a threat?
What it is, what it is!
Hey, Russell, you ready?
Nope.
I'll take a beverage, though.
Make it a bourbon.
Smells of desperation.
First it was trivia night, and then...
Karaoke.
What next?
Big tattoo with every six Rainiers?
That's not a bad idea.
It's last gasp.
Don't say that.
You need a sign-up list.
On it.
Everybody that's in here, put your name down.
And everybody that's not here, but will be.
To do what?
Take the stage, my brother.
I'm feeling some funny tonight, man.
You're just now working on your stuff?
How do you practice it?
You can't.
This, this is what this moment is.
Welcome to the first-ever Ed's Tavern
Comedy Open-Mic Night.
I've got two favors.
One, don't be shy.
Get on up here.
You're among friends.
Two, let's support the man behind this.
Our host and emcee,
our very own Russell Harris.
Hello, Ed's Tavern.
Ultimate dive bar.
Been in, uh, lots of bars in my life.
We got your sports bars.
You got your cowboy bars.
You got your gay bars.
In the '80s,
they had something they used to call "fern bar."
What the fuck was that about?
I tell you what, me, personally,
I don't like a lot of foliage.
I have the feeling that maybe there's a bear in there,
waiting to eat out my left buttcheek.
But I do like bars. I like bars,
I love bars, uh...
because I host karaoke, which I enjoy.
People tend to enjoy it. If you've been here on a Friday,
you know it's a good time, and I'm good at it.
- I make... - Hey.
Today. Today's the day.
- It sure is. - Mm-hmm.
-And you look lovely. -Oh, don't jinx it now.
Oh!
Were you on your way somewhere, dear Marcie?
-Hmm. -Shirl...
Man came up to me in a sharkskin suit.
I was like, this is it, this is the moment.
He looked at me and went...
...you ever thought of trying stand-up comedy?
Cut me to the core, man!
Just like white men been doing my entire life.
Just like that man, right there.
See what I'm saying?
So here we are.
Open mic night!
What do you say? Hey, yeah!
Who's gonna be our first victim?
Mr. B.G.! Come on, and show 'em what you got.
I want to talk a little bit about my wife.
She makes the greatest sex noises.
Like, the best, like, uh, you know,
the classic, like, mmm!
But not when we're having sex.
She makes these noises when I'm scratching her back.
Seriously, this was-- this was in our wedding vows.
Mm!
You make 'em right every time, dearie, dear.
And she said I could get a puppy.
- Right. - Next.
Okay, well, thanks, everybody.
That was a-- that was a dream come true for me.
Yes, it's just that easy.
You going up?
I actually thought he was gonna get
one of the Bee Gees up here, but...
Ten bucks in it for you if you do.
Who's our next comedian of the evening?
20, you got a deal.
Who's our next brave volunteer?
Anybody?
-Hey! -Hey.
Sorry, backhoe guy hit the main.
-We had one hell of a mess. -Give it up for Dudley!
- Look at that, he's doin' it. - Right?
-Will you grab food orders? -Yeah.
-Two nachos? -You got it.
So I'm, uh, working today, and my boss,
he comes up to me, and he's like,
"Are you taking lunch?"
I say, "Well, yeah."
And he says, "Well, don't come back."
Well, you know what I thought.
Uh, my first thought was, dude's giving me the afternoon.
That's how positive my thinking is.
I mean, I just got a little disoriented about my employment.
I lost my job.
Oh, shit.
Well... huh!
Let's give it up for Dudley!
Bravely done, bravely done, Dudley.
Don't let him get you down.
You're supposed to make us laugh, for fuck's sake.
I know exactly how you feel, man.
I was working in construction this one time.
I had dropped a load of drywall when I shouldn'tve,
and I got put on traffic duty.
Stop. Go. Stop.
And suddenly, it hits me.
This is power!
What the hell? Christ, what is wrong with you?
-Shit, shit! -Hey, hey, hey, hey,
Hey, hey, hey!
Okay, back the fuck up! Dudley, let it go!
Back off!
Take care of each other tonight, okay?
Dad, groceries by the door.
What the fuck is going on?
It just won't go.
Can't find a gear.
This can't be real.
You need to be out the door by now.
-Not today. -Yes, today, Brian.
First come, first serve at that job office.
Come on!
Brian!
Hey!
You're funny, it's a Comedy Open-Mic.
You should try it.
Hello?
No, I'm up.
I'm supposed to do a training at 8:30.
Yeah, sure.
I guess.
Wait, where am I supposed to find these people?
Good morning.
Hi.
-Hi, I'm Sophie. -Don't vote.
Oh, I'm not campaigning.
I'm just talking to people to see what impact
the $15 minimum wage has had on you.
What's this for?
Leena Ananda for Congress. She's awesome.
She's trying to lift up low-wage workers.
We're just trying to hear people's stories.
Maybe your story.
My story?
Just got laid off, waiting for a friggin' day gig.
How's that?
Sorry to hear that.
What was your job?
Uh, fulfillment center.
Uh, on the floor, picking, stowing.
Keep that pace up, or get written up.
Do you mind if I record?
I-- I got nothing.
Nothing to say.
I think you do.
And-- And the water just got higher, and higher,
and higher. And, whoops.
I'll just have a look.
Oh, uh, yes, uh...
After I tidy up.
Haven't had company in some time.
Well, I should take a look,
so I can see if I can fix it or if I need a part
-or... -I'll just give it a once-over.
It is a lot.
Look, look.
All I'm asking for is a little grace period.
Fucker.
Watch your language.
Hey, Ed.
What's cooking? Smells good.
-It's clean. -Where you been?
Silver City.
I think I found love.
Oh, Lord.
What is she, um, 32?
Former cheerleader?
Not this time, no. Age appropriate-ish.
-Uh-huh. -She's been living
on the edge a little bit.
She's got this chronic pain condition thing going,
but she's solid, beautiful, smart.
You're gonna like her.
Where am I? Is this my bar?
Gotta try new things.
I gotta meet a guy.
Hey, Ed. Um...
Ah, God, I don't want to ask this.
I'm all ears.
I might need a little time on this month's payment.
I hate to ask.
The, uh, landlord jacked up the rent on our apartment.
Ah, yeah.
It has been a little tight.
It's just this month.
Okay.
-Thank you, Ed. -How many more payments, anyway?
-Just seven. -Seven?
-Yeah. -Wow.
And this whole shebang is yours.
Yeah.
Memories?
Hell, no.
But here, check this out.
-Oh. -Hey, hey?
- We're just talking here, so... - Okay.
I'm not looking, or not looking at anything.
Excellent. That's just what I like to hear.
God, you must-- You've owned this place for a while.
1986.
Five.
Inheritance?
It looked like it. Like-- Like a family transaction.
You've been snooping around.
County records.
How do you think I found you?
Look, Edward, I'm not here to talk about the past.
Metropolitan areas expand.
Businesses grow.
People prosper.
This is good. It's-- It's good for you.
-It's good for me. -Marcie, this is, uh...
-Jake Garland. -Marcie's a lead bartender.
Practically owns the place.
- I bet. - No, seriously.
What can I get you?
Um, a single malt scotch, neat.
Yeah, but we don't have anything like that.
Oh, uh, what do you got?
How about a bourbon?
Hell, yes.
Okay.
Anyway, purchase option.
It's a piece of paper, Edward.
I shoot it over, you look.
We have another drink.
Right now, this is about you and me.
I got groceries.
Oh, you are here.
How's Mom?
Sleeping. Don't bother her.
Trust me.
Okay. Did you take her on a walk?
Uh-uh.
She can't just lie around.
She's supposed to get out twice a day.
She had surgery, girl.
Did you even read this?
You have to look out for her, because you're here all day.
I gotta work too, you know.
You're working?
I did three nail appointments today.
They text me, and then they come by.
Yes!
-What? -5,000 followers.
She needs some order around here.
I'm gonna have a salad.
How much was that thing, anyway?
I got a good deal.
When you get your check?
Monday. Should be.
Pay him the old rent.
Fuck it.
Think that's a good idea?
It's what's right.
I tried to upsell this guy this morning.
You know how Larry keeps pushing us to do?
How'd that go?
Guy wasn't having it.
Finally I'm like, dude, you're right,
I'm just bullshitting you. Let's do the repair.
You check with Larry?
I just said, "Do it."
Hmm.
Good for you.
Can't treat people like that.
We just gotta get through this, right?
Seven months, pay off Ed, you come work at the bar,
we get on our feet.
Have a baby.
Yeah.
Is it still gonna be called Ed's?
People out there are talking about what they're gonna do
tonight or tomorrow or whenever,
and they'll be like, why don't we go to Marcie's?
Marcie's.
You should be out the door by now.
Not today.
Yes, today, Brian, today and every day.
I got a job.
Oh! Well if you don't get there on time,
you won't have it very long.
Brian.
Brian!
Okay, let's try without the jacket.
Yeah, I like that look on you.
You got, like, ten waiting out there.
-I don't like this one anyway. -You don't?
He looks like a working man with a capital W.
They want small business owners.
-Wait, what? -Pivoting, yeah.
Just get some jacket options, keep it moving.
Hey, let's try the jacket.
If this was my real jacket, it'd be like, uh,
glue stains, and paint, and mud, and holes, and shit.
Try dropping your hands, and looking that way.
Yeah.
Hey, you a small business owner?
I don't think so.
I might know somebody.
Really?
- Hi. - Hi, are you Marcie?
Yeah.
Brian said you might be willing to talk to me.
We're doing a survey, just a few quick questions.
You know my brother?
I met him at the temp agency.
He was a big help.
He was?
And if I raise prices, my regulars go somewhere else.
And my regulars are everything.
You think if people have more disposable income,
they'd spend more here?
What if I lose my people?
We're just day by day as it is.
Just between you and me, I'd lay off the other bartender,
bring my guy in.
Your guy?
Yeah, my guy.
We'd cut our costs, do some of the things we always dreamed of.
When I own the place, that's what I'm gonna do.
Stick around. It's comedy night.
People of all types, of all ilks and all likes,
turn you towards this side of the room,
whilst I introduce to you R-R-R-Russell the Hilarious!
He's introducing himself.
You're too kind.
Let's bring up our first comedian of the evening.
How about Nathan? Nathan.
Wow, uh, uh, this is-- this is my first Open-Mic.
Uh, uh, uh, I'm a--
Thank you, thank you.
Uh, I'm a little nervous.
I came from the city just to--
because I didn't wanna-- uh,
I wanna do jokes in front of people I-- I don't know.
Uh, uh, I don't know any of you, do I?
- Okay, um... - No.
All right, well--
Living in a town where you're related to half the people,
it's pretty slim pickings.
But I was engaged once.
Unfortunately, it fell through during the prenuptial agreement.
Don't worry, I didn't want his money.
I just asked for a DNA test.
- Any married people here? - Yep, yep.
Okay, I've been married to a bar.
Right, and we had our ups and downs.
And there were times when the bar would say to me,
say hey, "Hey honey, honey, it's January,
and it's raining and it's cold.
Let's go to a-- let's go to a beach somewhere,
to a hotel with a pool."
And I'd say, "Oh sweetie, oh yeah, that sounds fantastic."
But no.
We have to work.
And work.
But, you know, there were some good times.
We-- We got along pretty good.
We never argued about what to watch on TV.
The thing about love is, though, it takes time.
You've got to put in the time.
I don't know about you, but me, I ain't got that kind of time.
I just, um...
Nope.
Let's kill that one.
Let's just move on.
Uh, no, no.
I know there's some love in this room.
Yeah!
Somebody's got something to say about a subject such as love.
How about yourself?
You?
Anybody?
Nobody?
Duds, can you get up?
And sit on your perch, here?
Can you sit up?
Duds, cab's here.
-Come on. -Time to get up.
If there's three people laughing, is it funny?
I talk to the people.
I-- I spread out the flyers, but Ed's...
It is where Ed's is.
-Way out here. -Get you another?
Oh, I gotta get going back to the city.
See? That's where it's at.
Chuckles, chortles, giggles, and snorts.
Now, that's a comedy club.
Do you guys have a website?
Like, a following?
You should join the groups, you know?
Say, we have Open-Mic Night.
Come on down.
Uh, I-- I don't know anything about...
Social media?
All I know is the scary stuff.
What scary stuff?
I don't need nobody hunting me down from my kindergarten.
Hmm.
I mean, I-- I could show you.
-Really? -Yeah, what's your demographic?
Uh, say what?
Like, what-- what age group?
I guess older?
Comedians are younger.
Yeah, that's me.
Prime of youth, right here.
Hey, I will, um, pick up your drinks tonight.
Next time, too, if you help us out with this.
Um, yeah.
Sure.
Great. Uh, you gotta promise to come back.
I was talking to my sister today.
Let her know what was up with me.
She said, "What? You're not funny.
You are funny.
Everyone's got a different idea about what funny is.
I'll see you back here next Thursday.
You know, people who do this for real,
they got albums, websites, DVDs.
That's the goal.
Get something out there that's making money for you.
One week at a time, we'll get there.
Truck done?
Transmission. It's a rebuild.
How'd you get here?
Larry. After he demoted me.
What do you mean?
Put me back in the hole.
-That asshole. -Mm-hmm.
How the fuck did he do that?
Somebody needs to go.
Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Yeah. Yeah, okay, bye.
Shattered hip.
-Dad? -Yeah.
Helping an old lady or something, slipped on
the step of his shuttle bus.
How's the old lady?
Collateral damage?
Oh, sorry.
We-- We got to go up to the hospital.
No vehicle.
Brian?
Veronica.
Sure you want to do that?
I just... you know, I need help.
Were you asleep?
No, I'm just getting up.
God, it was a hellish flight.
I'm so dehydrated.
I need some water.
Okay, so I rented a car,
and I talked to the doctor, and his surgery is tomorrow,
so we have to be up there today by one.
So I think that that gives me a half hour to get some food
and water, and then a half hour to
get settled, and then, uh, what's-- what's the drive time?
It's like a half hour.
Okay, so 40 minutes, unpack, drive up there, see him,
meet the doc on rounds, get his meds balanced,
and then hit the cafeteria.
Hello.
She calles me, "I got a problem."
But she won't let me in.
She's like my mom. God, a bit.
What'd you do with her?
Talked her into mahjong with the ladies.
Let's hurry.
Hey, I brought a little something.
Uh-huh!
I made that, dude.
No shit.
-Mm. -Not bad, huh?
Mm-hmm.
It's all right.
Dude, amazing to see you in action, Russell the Hilarious.
Oh.
I'm surprised she's having me back.
And what it tells me is I need to get my shit together.
What kind of comedy am I all about?
Yeah, I finally caught some of those prior clips
-that you were talking about. -Oh, there you go.
With, uh, Mudbone and Little Feet.
I'm having another heart attack.
That's good stuff.
I mean, he makes the painful stuff funny.
Tell stories.
If the story's good and the comedy sucks, well...
At least you got a story.
Oh, damn it.
Go ahead.
Make a mess.
I didn't know you had a sister.
Mhm. Back home, Detroit.
She sees Mama all the time.
I was thinking all this hilarious stuff
I could do about Mama.
But nobody's bad-mouthing Mama.
When somebody come up to her...
"Did you see Russell on his thing talking about you?"
-Pfft. -Hey, grab me that tape, huh?
Maybe Mama could be like the lady in 310.
Lady in 310! She can't see, but she keeps everything!
She had us over for some trouble with
the plumbing in the bathroom.
But first, we had to find the bathroom.
I like that. I like that.
No names.
Just the number 310.
Can't use the name of this apartment building, though.
Boss would be on me.
- God, the landlords! - Yeah.
Man, they raised their rent again.
It's tight at home.
Been there too many times.
She's watching me like a hawk.
Plus now Larry put me back in the hole.
You already in the hole.
Yeah, even I thought of that one.
-I'm paying you for this. -Oh, no, man.
It's cool. It's just...
I don't know.
Pushing 40. And still this way.
Guess I always thought I'd just burn bright and
die young or something.
I never have to pay the piper on this shit.
See, now you got me thinking.
How can I use that?
Oh, yeah?
Get the wheels turning, huh?
Let's see what else is going wrong with my life.
Bring the pain!
I'm gonna use it all.
That x-ray?
Multiple fractures. Multiple types of fractures.
Think about the recovery time.
I can't.
Sorry. Should I help you clean up or something?
It's fine. Just sit.
You want something?
Um, tonic.
Stronger. It's on me.
-I'm still jet-lagged. -From this morning?
From Thailand. Just got back.
Four and a half weeks in the hurricane zone.
You've never been to my place, have you?
I'm doing all these cool event nights and...
Hey.
Hi.
-What are you having? -Uh, beer.
- Longneck, please. - Okay.
-Here you go. -Thanks. Nice place you got.
You from around town?
I'm just out here for work.
-Oh, welcome. -Thanks.
Hey, do you know who owns the woods out here?
Why?
Somebody called in a bird sighting.
Just want to walk in and check it out.
- I need to ask Ed. - Mm-hmm.
How's your accounting gig?
Uh... Left that a long time ago.
I used the skills do the books.
Did they pay you for that?
I just want you to have something stable.
I'm gonna own this place.
Own the business straight up.
Hey, Murph.
Oh, man, it's good to see you.
Um, can you get some nachos in six, please?
-You got it. -Thanks.
Murph?
Oh, my God.
What?
-Oh, my God! -I know!
What is going on?
I-- I'm up here for work.
I knew you were somewhere in these parts.
Uh...
-Marce, this is Megan. -Hey, we met.
Uh, used to be my bartender back in Colorado.
- Yeah. - Engaged to my best friend.
A lifetime ago.
You had a regular bar?
The Salty Nut.
-That's right. -Like you remember.
Yeah, I walked into my bar one day and just kept coming back.
Until you didn't.
Guess I got some explaining to do?
Yeah.
Now and then, I did get back to Pueblo to check in on Dad.
I thought about saying hi.
I know, it don't make much sense.
We were always your friends, Murph.
-You could have stuck around. -No, I just...
It was a big change coming here.
So what's going on? What are you doing here?
Oh, they sent me up to do field work.
Oh, scouting out bars.
Hey. Get you anything or...?
I-- I'm good, thanks.
No, no, I work for an org now.
Conservation Partners. We preserve natural spaces.
I'm actually following up on a tip.
Endangered species sighting.
What does that mean?
It means that we try to save a species
before it goes extinct.
Everything we humans have done is kind of coming
back to bite us.
You got to get permission.
Oh, yeah, totally. Is-- Is Ed around?
- Um, no. - Mhm.
Do you know when he will be?
You know, you look just like you did.
And when he gets out of surgery, they're going
to want to release him right away.
And they'll recommend rehab, but that's crazy expensive.
He's got insurance, doesn't he?
He better.
He doesn't have money for rehab, that's for sure.
So we have to think about our options.
Assuming he survives.
Wanna make garlic bread?
-Wait, what? -Garlic bread.
No, no, before that.
Assuming he survives?
Oh, yeah, plenty of old people die from,
you know, breaking a hip.
Complications.
Fucking landlord.
Anyway, we need to make some plans for him being at home.
Maybe you two can move in with him.
I'm sorry, what did you say?
Get Home Health to come in and fill in the rest with family.
And where will you be?
I'll get you set up, but I have to go back.
I-- I have to put in some time at the hospital,
and then I'm in Southeast Asia.
So you're just gonna blow out of here?
I'm here now.
I am so tired of taking care of everybody every time
something gets fucked up in this family.
Do you think I enjoyed sending half my paycheck
home to them as Mom was taking her time dying?
I took care of her.
I had to get Dad his food.
I had to make sure little Nancy grew up and
got out of the house.
You should have got the hell out like she did.
And I still have to make sure Brian gets to work.
That's not my fault.
I-- I can't get my license unsuspended
until I get my car back.
I can't get my car back until I can get it out of the tow lot.
Your license wouldn't be suspended
if you weren't drinking.
I wasn't drunk.
I was trying to get to work.
- Hey, what do you want, babe? - Beer, please.
Can I recommend the house ale?
- Is there butter? - Just margarine.
Ugh.
Why do you think I started drinking in the first place?
I wouldn't know, Brian. Jesus.
I had to put up with Dad's shit for years.
So did I. So did I.
Yeah, well, you get to be the one everybody loves.
And you, you get to move away, fly all over the world.
You guys got it all, and I get nothing.
Everything I got, I had to work for.
How do we just get him the fuck out?
You get him out by having your own life.
After you left, you know, The Salty Nut
got actual real salty nuts on the table.
Oh, holy smokes.
Destiny, huh?
Yeah. Dream fulfilled.
Still there?
-No. -No?
No, it got torn down.
-This is nice. -Yeah.
Yeah.
So... after Mama died, I...
I was not in a good place.
I started taking her painkillers,
you know, which helped with all the pain and...
and the depression.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, well...
when I was recovering, I went back up to Cheyenne Mountain.
Oh, man.
Being in that place...
with all the rocks and the trees...
and the birds...
it healed me.
I got a job up there at
the Raptor Rehabilitation Center.
I nursed this red-tailed hawk for weeks, and...
when I finally got to let him fly free...
man, it was profound.
You know, we kind of recovered together.
And I just thought...
people need places like this.
You know, this place saved me.
We got to save them.
I guess I wasn't there for you at all, was I?
I just thought you would have kept in touch.
You know, like it was always so easy between us.
I guess maybe I was embarrassed.
Embarrassed about what?
Oh, my marriage falling apart.
-Oh... -Getting ditched all
-the way out here. -Yeah.
But you found Marcie.
Yeah.
I found Marcie.
What are you having?
Surprise me.
Dangerous.
Sorry?
Long Island iced tea.
Looks pretty, but it's not what you think it is.
-Seven. -Keep it open.
-You sure? -Mm-hmm.
So how's business?
It's great.
Early yet.
Things get raucous?
Not much.
It's open night tonight.
Insane.
Wait, hold on, hold on. Um...
Here you go.
So, uh, I'm getting married to
a top-producing realtor tomorrow.
Oh, yeah. She is smoking hot.
Check out the diamond ring she sold me.
You married?
I was. I... She died.
Uh, so...
So, here's another one.
What do real estate developers have to be thankful for?
Lots.
Today's the day.
Geez, I hope you're right.
You'll see. You'll see.
- Hey, Marcie. - Hi.
This is my friend Stacy.
-Oh, nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you, too.
Up and running.
People can see this right now?
You exist.
Right here.
-Post, post. -Uh, well, what do I say?
You just be yourself.
Oh, hashtag it.
And I need a photo of you.
-Okay. -Ready?
Hand on the hip.
Oh, cute.
Cute pals.
Co-workers?
Uh, bird watchers. A flock of them.
All volunteered just to help me find this owl.
Or owls.
You still gotta get permission.
Yep, Murph introduced me. Ed said it's fine. He's cool.
Mhm.
-Uh, longneck? -Yes, please.
Manhattan, please.
Two tequila shots and a longneck.
-Ah! -And you? You good?
-Yeah. -All right.
Beautiful woods back there.
Yeah. Yeah, I go out to my spot.
When everything's driving me crazy.
Which is like all the time these days.
Do you wanna come out with us?
What?
We're going out Saturday, early.
You could show us your spot.
I got a lot going on.
We'll just have to go out and find it ourselves, I guess.
-Hey. -Hey to you.
What's this?
We put some cash behind this so we get more attention.
Like sponsored posts?
I guess. Only you do that.
I want to dedicate these funds to
Ed's Tavern's advertising account.
Make good use of them.
Okay.
How many mosquito bites between the five?
Mosquito bites? I'm not sure what you're insinuating.
What time?
Uh, 6 a.m.
-Hey, what do you want? -Food orders.
-Nachos, anyone? -Ooh!
I started managing this apartment building a while back.
Thing is, nobody told me it was one
of those Twilight Zone apartments.
I'll tell you what I mean.
There was this old lady in 3B.
Must be the worst hoarder you've ever seen.
Sadly, she passed.
Had no family that we knew of.
So it fell to me to clean all the crap out of this apartment.
Now I get back to the back den.
-And she had this big old box.
Must have been a refrigerator box or something.
I get that thing open.
Seven of her ex-boyfriends come
hauling ass out that motherfucker.
They get up out there, and I'm recovering from this,
when all of a sudden I hear this sound.
It's coming from the box.
I look over.
A pair of eyes, beady little eyes,
way back in the box.
Grab a flashlight. Turn that on.
There's a creature in there, starts tearing through the box.
We're scaring each other.
Next thing you know, I'm hiding under the table.
Creature's in the corner cowering.
And I start to get a better look.
I'm thinking, I don't know what to do.
Call my good friend Murph.
Murph was like, "Hey, well, what kind of creature is it?"
I said, "I don't know.
"At first I thought it was maybe an ape,
"because it was big like a gorilla, but standing
"up tall like a human, and hairy like an orangutan.
"I think I got a Wookiee situation."
He goes, "Well, Russ,
"let's take a realistic approach to this.
"Let's think this out.
Wookiees are mythical creatures.
"They do not exist.
"I think you got a Bigfoot problem."
I'm like, well, maybe if I can feed it, I can get to its heart.
So I get some food up on the computer screen,
start scrolling through food.
I guess one of the ex-boyfriends was Filipino or something,
because we landed on a picture of some lumpia.
Bigfoot's eyes lit up. Like, that's it. That's it.
Only it was more like, "Waka-wa !
"Waka-wa! Waka-wa! Wa-wa!"
So we ordered some lumpia.
We sat down, and we got down.
He started to sort of open up to me.
Then started to sort of like fixate on me, get close.
And I'm thinking, how am I going to deal with this?
I'm too old to be raising no Bigfoot.
Can't be doing that.
My life is not geared for that.
I'll call Murph again. Murph said, "Well,
"you know, sometimes when life
"gives you something you don't think you're ready for,
"it's really giving you something that you need."
You know what I'm saying?
And that's how I came to be foster father to a Bigfoot.
Thank you, thank you.
Do you guys want to know my favorite four-letter F word?
- Yeah. - Okay! Um...
Free.
So I signed up for one of those online things.
You pay the membership, they pay the shipping.
And I'm buying really useless things.
Uh, Lazy Susan, noise machine, paperweight,
all things I used to call my ex.
And so I'm sitting there, and I'm peeking out the window,
looking for my next hit of dopamine, thanks to USPS.
And I realize all shipping can be free shipping
if you just steal from your neighbors.
I'm just kidding.
I don't steal from you guys.
Uh...
So a parrot walks into a bar, orders a scotch on the rocks,
knocks it back, orders the same thing again,
knocks the second one back,
points his wing at the empty glass.
-Now the bartender says... -That'll be 15 bucks.
-The parrot says... -Put it on my bill.
- Ohhh... - Eh-oh!
Who here likes shopping centers? Anyone?
I don't know. I mean, to me,
you've seen one, you've seen 'em-mall.
This is tough. Pretty tough crowd.
I got into politics because I wanted to change the world.
Yeah.
It's about change, all right?
It's about them changing their minds.
Now, if you want to get into politics,
you've got to know some jargon.
Number one word, pivot.
Also known as no follow through.
Yeah.
Do you remember, the coach would be like,
if you take a shot, follow through.
You're still in the game.
I guess that's why they're politicians and not athletes.
That's my time. Thank you.
You got this.
Okay. Okay, I got this.
Thank you, everyone.
Um...
Oh, I-- I feel better with...
All right. Thank you, Russell.
Uh, there-- there's this woman, and-- and she's driving her car,
and she sees a casino, you know,
tucked away at the side of the road.
So she says, "Hey, well, today-- today's my lucky day.
I'm going to go in there and see what happens.
She sees some action taking place at a-- at a table
over there in the corner.
She walks a little bit closer, you know?
A-And then she sees, sitting there at the table, a dog.
It's betting. It's-- it's calling.
It's raising. It's holding.
I mean, like, his little paw's
just moving so fast, you just can't even keep track of it.
And, um--
And then, you know, so then what happens, too,
is that she notices all the human people,
they're just all, like, looking like there's nothing wrong.
Like, the dog's just like everybody else.
She's just had enough of this.
And she, like, says to the man next to her,
she whispers, "Hey, hey, hey, hey, um, that dog,
"that must be the smartest dog in the world.
"Look at it playing poker."
And, you know, he-- he whispers back,
and he says, "That dog isn't that smart.
"When it's got a good hand, it wags its tail."
Oh, he's just like me!
All right!
Who wants to follow that?
Be careful you don't fall in love with all the things
you didn't say, didn't do, didn't feel,
the moment you let pass you by,
the dream you thought you'd never forget.
They wait, whispering, live, live, lived.
Fear the tear you never wept, the hand you never touched,
the lips you never kissed, for the bomb
that whistles before it hits ground is the most dangerous.
But what if it never hits?
Waiting, waiting, waiting.
Supernovas do destruct, but any blue-eyed sailor
can tell you the ocean is at its most beautiful
in a storm. Calm seas might get you home,
but it's the roar of the ocean that makes you feel alive.
You are your most beautiful while you are
breaking into a million stars, lighting the way
for all those behind you.
Living, living, lives.
I mean, most people go through their lives
completely terrified of, of-- of everything, right?
But you gotta find the funny in what you do.
I mean, money, happiness, love, it's all funny.
I think you understand this.
Oh, check out this industrial park down the road I brokered.
Proud father.
-Hm. -I, uh...
-I-- -Hey.
Hey.
What do you want with this place anyway, huh?
You kidding me? Land. They ain't making it anymore.
It's Mark Twain.
I don't get it.
Well, a lot of what I do is, um, is putting the puzzle together.
Connecting the dots.
-Sounds fun. -I'm pretty good at it.
-I bet you are. -Mm-hmm.
Mm.
So big dots in the city.
And then there's all these other dots out here.
Landowners.
Municipal government.
And then there's the me dot.
Me dot...
connects the dots.
What do they want to put all this stuff here for?
Big online retailer. Fulfillment, man.
It's just business. You got to get the orders out.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
Fulfillment.
What are you doing later?
Grab a drink, you and me?
Not here. Someplace nice. Um...
Chanticleers.
In the strip mall?
The plaza, yes.
Come on.
Don't you want to be taken care of once in a while?
Let me buy you one.
All right.
But we'll do it here.
Right, Sunday?
You have your coffee, Dave?
Yep.
How'd that go?
It was good, yeah.
Yeah?
Good to catch up.
With, uh...
Megan?
What's going on with her?
Lots. Yeah, she's got a kid.
A kid? Good for her.
He lives with his dad.
Really? Why?
They split.
That's the arrangement.
Does she have an addiction problem or something?
Yeah, she did.
It's all right now, but I think it makes her sad.
I always thought you and I were, you know,
one of a kind, but, um...
-Wait, what? -Nothing.
Hey, but what?
I'm just another in a series of bartenders.
Oh.
Hey, Marcie.
Now, Marcie.
Whatcha got?
Heard something.
It's great you could come out.
I'm usually alone.
Well, you're never alone in the forest.
Well, that's kind of creepy.
Is it a spider?
Once you go micro, it's worlds within worlds.
Pretty weird, isn't it?
I mean, you just happen to find Murph after all this time?
Well, I knew he moved around here somewhere.
And things happen you can't explain.
Never thought I'd work with birds, either.
I never thought I'd date a guy who came into the bar.
Yeah, that was always my rule.
Guess I made an exception.
Well, you're a lucky woman.
No.
I like your spot.
Yeah?
Well, it's taken.
I heard that.
Yeah?
We'll see if we get a response.
They're hard to see, easier to hear.
So this is your job?
Somebody's paying you to be out here?
I know.
Isn't it awesome?
Just getting started, though.
Trying to carve out my niche.
Birds of prey.
I mean, good for you.
It's hard work, though.
I mean, somebody's got to be the voice for all this.
And we're all connected, right?
I mean, if-- if that tree and that spider
and this bird can't survive, neither can we.
I just can't believe you're that excited about one bird.
Well, I'm trying to figure out, maybe--
maybe they're getting pushed out of their homes
and trying to find new territory.
You know, I gotta figure out,
are they sticking around?
Are they nesting? Are they making babies?
See, if we can document this,
we got a tool to maybe advocate for the property.
Here.
Give these.
Why?
Ou, you say you come out here every day.
Let me know what you find.
What did you mean, advocate for the property?
Protect it.
We'll keep it pristine.
Like it is now.
A building is like a human being.
Dies a little day by day.
I want to talk to you.
You know what he's going to do, don't you, Jake?
He's going to sell it to some big ginormous company
so he can build a fulfillment center.
Like, right here.
Where you getting all this?
Straight out of his mouth.
When she's going on like, a road trip,
she will take a bunch of potatoes and stick them
in the engine of her car and bake 'em.
Look, this is new ground to me.
I've never been in a real relationship before.
How'd you get ten acres anyway?
My grandpa. He worked on cars.
I'm the one who decided to turn it into a bar.
Seemed like a good idea.
It's a great idea.
I never took any risks.
It's a huge risk.
Well, it turns out, 70-year-old man on a ladder
trying to put a band-aid on a building.
Ed, you can't sell to this guy.
I would give it to you if I could, you know that?
What are you going to do?
You can't purchase the whole acreage.
Look, I had a friend in the seminary, okay?
One day he got caught jacking off.
And the head of the whole thing,
the head priest, had a meeting with him.
And he said, do you-- listen, though, this is important.
He said, do you know what you're giving up?
You're giving up sex for the rest of your life.
And he ended up quitting. So I'm just asking you,
Marcie do you know what you're giving up?
What are you talking about?
I'm talking about money. This guy wants to give us money.
Not just me, you.
Take it and run. You are smart.
You can do whatever you want. You can go to school.
You can learn to write code. You can make a lot of money.
You can do something with your life.
I am doing something with my life.
Okay, here's the deal.
Leanne, she's got this chronic pain thing,
I told you about it, right?
And there's this treatment in Canada.
You can't do it in the United States because it's...
Anyway, it's new and it's pricey,
and I want to give that to her.
I want to get out of Dodge and move on with my life.
We shook on this.
I made my payments.
I know.
There's an owl in there.
Fucking endangered species.
I like owls.
But I don't love owls. I love Leanne.
What?
They got you doing this now?
What?
The bird people.
Nothing but trees so far.
Marcie.
Mmm.
It's not the same old Ed's.
You let these crazy tree huggers in and...
We might need crazy right now.
You from around here?
Born and raised.
You?
Yeah.
You had this a while, huh?
A lot of years.
How are your dots?
Hmm?
You're the dot connector.
Oh, yeah.
Drawing my lines. Um...
I'm starting to see the picture.
Mm.
Takes time.
Persistence.
I started out, uh, selling homes.
Little single-family places.
Making people happy.
Once you get a taste, you want to do more, right?
Mm, yeah...
You got a talent, you know.
You're not just pouring drinks here.
Hey, Jones.
Good people.
We depend on each other.
They depend on you.
Hmm.
And comedy.
That was amazing.
Went all right.
All right? You kidding me?
You're-- you-- You're killing it here, Marcie.
This is gonna be a-- a launch pad for talent.
Like you?
Maybe not.
I know what I'm good at.
But who knows? Anything's possible.
I grew up in a one-bedroom
with a leaky roof by the freight tracks.
Single mom.
Dad left.
Mom died. Um...
My wife died.
Here I am.
Making my way.
Mm. Hmm.
Life hasn't been a bowl of cherries
for you either, I'm guessing.
What are we doing here?
I want to talk with you.
About?
Everything.
Life, uh...
Your place. Whatever.
I don't have all night.
Brass tacks, huh?
Look, I could buy out Edward tomorrow
-and leave you no place to go. -Ed's not going to sell to you.
But I wouldn't do that.
Cash.
And I've located, through my network,
a prime spot in Town Park Mall.
Town Park Mall?
Great rate.
Fifteen a square foot.
What's the square footage?
Twenty-four fifty, thereabouts.
Come on, that's a killer rate.
Ed put you up to this?
Throw in moving expenses, too.
Look, we're just having fun here.
I need another. How about you?
Two more.
Wait, what? Did anybody laugh?
Yeah, they did.
What, you don't think I'm funny?
I mean, you're not.
You're all like, Mom is fragile.
Did you take Mom out?
What are you doing with your life?
Yeah, none of that shit is funny.
You don't know the other sides of me.
Guess I don't.
So, my job, the campaign?
You making the big bucks?
No, I do photoshoots for them.
I coordinate their events, fundraisers.
I was thinking, I could do this myself.
What do you mean, yourself?
I could do events.
Weddings.
What?
Like an event planner.
Ow!
Anyway, I was gonna propose to you
if you'd be interested in, like, joining forces.
Since you have a big following and all.
We could have packages, like bridal makeup packages.
You're wanting me to team up with you?
Yeah, you'd be a great addition.
Or partner. Ow!
Why do you have to yank my head?
You want your twist looking like biscuit rolls,
all loose on your head? I didn't think so.
So, what do you think?
I bring a lot to the table.
What do you bring?
I have good ideas.
And a good eye.
They like my events.
I mean, I need the work.
But you and me, we don't always see eye to eye, you know?
I need you to show me.
What, the comedy?
No, I mean, that would be hilarious.
But... show me something you can pull off.
And then, I'll decide if I want to work with you or not.
Ow!
I might need you to make a video for me.
Chuckles, back in the city.
They got this big contest.
Yeah, what was the name of Rocky's trainer?
Mick. Look...
We gonna do a training session?
I'll get you chasing chickens or something.
Drink some raw eggs.
Murph's got a birthday coming up.
Big 4-0, man.
Woah! Ain't no joke.
-You got that right. -Mm.
You make your bucket list?
Too many bad experiences with buckets.
What's on your bucket list?
Perform at Chuckles.
And, I don't know, maybe go to Africa.
And see where they held the slaves,
before they got to America.
I like to visit spots that are epic
in people's lives, and throughout time.
Good or bad.
You can feel it.
Hm.
What about you, Marcie?
I'm doing it.
You ain't nearly dead.
You knock off everything on your bucket list,
what the hell you got to live for?
I've got one thing on my list.
Our future.
Marcie just needs one last score.
I saw Jake yesterday.
Oh...
Strings?
We gotta move.
-Move where? -His strip mall.
Decent chunk of change.
Yeah.
But if we give this up, we never get it back.
You know where you're going?
Or is this gonna turn into one of those slasher movies?
I can hear myself think out here.
When I hear myself think, I tell myself to shut the fuck up.
I tell myself that even when I'm not thinking.
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
She's gone full-blown birdwatcher.
Wait, you're writing this down, right?
I was out birdwatching with my friend Marcie...
Oh, my God.
Ah...
I got one question.
Does it taste like chicken?
Shut the fuck up.
Jesus--
He's an omen.
That owl.
Good or bad?
I don't know.
I thought I was gonna own a bar.
I thought you and I were gonna work together.
I thought you and I had a future.
I thought all this was supposed to get easier.
What do you mean?
I mean, uh, I used to think you just work hard,
you hang in there, you get to a place
where you're gonna have what you want, but...
when you start to think you're getting...
somewhere where you're calling the shots, and then
you find out that you aren't at all,
because here come the powers that be,
and they take what they want.
I guess you just learn to live with stuff.
Stuff I probably would have walked away from ten years ago.
Like me?
No.
Nope.
Like the job.
What are you talking about?
Maybe I-- I made up this whole picture in my mind,
about how things were gonna be,
and I carried it so long.
Maybe it just seems like ours, but maybe it's mine.
Not yours.
-Maybe... -Yeah?
I mean, maybe we could start fresh.
Wherever.
Walk away?
What do you want, Marce?
What do you...
You're always so, what do you want, Marcie?
What do you want?
What do you want, Murph?
I don't know if I, um...
I got a picture of moments of us together,
and we got a little baby we're both looking at,
but I don't have a clear idea of what else is going on.
I do worry if I'd be a good provider.
I want you.
I want the bar, and I want a baby.
Perfect for you.
Sitting on a branch right above us.
Daylight, wow.
Some people around here, they're gonna think you're the enemy.
I know.
But I don't.
You done good.
So what now?
We document these, the more the better.
Build a case.
There must be more I can do.
Now, science only goes so far.
It's people who change things.
People standing up for what's right.
But you said if the owl's here, this guy can't touch the land.
Oh, it's not that easy.
It's private land.
Owners can do what they want.
So what can we do?
A best-case scenario,
owner protects it, keeps it as habitat.
Ed needs his money and I don't have that kind of cash.
No, I get it.
Neither do I.
I can reach out to a land trust I know.
They might like this. It's their mission.
But they don't have a lot of money either.
Always money.
Maybe they partner with a private individual
to come in and buy it.
That's worth a shot.
So I tried to help him with the bathroom.
He wouldn't have it.
So fine, we'll just sit here
and talk about the canned peaches
or the way the blinds are hung or whatever.
And then the blonde PT comes in and...
oh, now he will get up.
Yeah.
He's recovering.
Yeah.
So the power of attorney, um.
This gives you the ability to make
all the important decisions for him.
- I need to ask you something. - Yeah.
You know this developer, they want to buy up
this whole place and tear it all down.
I already almost own the business, right?
I just need to own the property, the ground.
So would you help me and buy the land?
Wow.
I know it seems crazy, but just think about--
- Why would I do that? - Because I pay you rent.
It's an investment.
Okay-- Okay, but let's get real.
This is real.
I just mean, a place like this
isn't set up for the 21st century.
I built this up.
This is my family.
People come to have a laugh
and be with each other, help each other.
If you do this, I'll sign the power
of attorney or whatever.
I'll take care of dad.
How many-- How many times do I have to bail this family out?
Do you have any idea what that feels like?
My dog needs chemo, and my cabin has dry rot,
and half the year I'm running around
helping people who are literally in deep shit.
It'd be an income for you.
It appreciates, it always does.
No, I love you,
but I'm done being a cash machine.
Still on the rack. Another ten minutes.
Told Megan about the owl.
How many times have we mentioned owls prior to this?
It's nuts.
The whole world's descending.
She said I'm a lucky woman.
Aren't you?
I think that there's part of you
that misses Colorado.
You're not happy.
Well, I was young and dumb then.
Seeing Megan again, I don't know.
It's-- It's nice to--
to be seen as that version of me,
to sort of...
account for my life,
to remind me that I have a good story to tell.
I hope you don't need too much reminding.
Ha.
Well, it's a good thing I made some notes for myself.
I got to thinking.
About?
If we're going to do this,
I got to bring something, you know?
I got to contribute.
So, I made a list,
and I took a picture of that list
thinking I might forget the list, but um, here it goes.
I can give Marcie more than one day off a week.
Quicker turnaround on maintenance issues.
Handle more of the unsavory elements,
although things do tend to calm down more quickly
when you're involved, even though I hate
the fact that you're involved,
but people respect you.
Whoever's closer, how about?
How about? How about?
Oh, I'm nervous about this one.
We could-- We could add our own homebrew to the mix.
This is exciting.
Yeah.
Don't get too excited.
There's always another shoe to drop.
Let me go check.
They're saying three grand.
You want to drop your shoe, or should I?
I quit my job.
It's more risk.
Just be nice to not have stuff like this crush us.
If it was, at max, a bummer.
Yeah.
But what the fuck is life if you're not happy, right?
Put your hand on my sticky ball.
What are we doing with your hair?
Shit, I forgot.
This is going crazy.
You know what? Sit/
We'll do something.
Okay.
You want to see what I wrote?
I did two versions.
-Mm-hmm. -Okay.
So, this option is for his birthday.
A toast.
And this one, are you leaning towards that?
I think I am.
Oh, God, I think I am.
Well, how about we just take out the first option,
because when you have two options, you, like,
hesitate and are too scared to make a choice, you know?
Uh-huh.
Are you okay?
Yeah, yeah, just a little freak out.
That's probably normal.
Yeah, but I mean, like, what am I thinking?
Well, he's your guy.
No, no, I mean that I can go up against some developer.
I mean, they got money, I don't, it's as simple as that.
You know, people raise money all the time.
Our candidate raised, like, 800 in a month.
Dollars?
Thousand.
She's a politician or whatever.
What we could do is, we could throw a fundraiser.
People like you.
I'm sure they'll support you.
You think we could do that?
Yeah.
I want to help you.
You do?
On one condition.
A condition, yeah.
I want to do the whole shebang.
Photos, videos, show what I can do.
Yeah, of course.
All right, so what can we do?
Well, you have the space, so use it and have fun with it.
Oh, you know what I used to love?
The carnival used to come every summer.
Mom would do up her hair and then she'd take us
for the day, my sisters and me.
Uh, cotton candy, beanbag toss,
rollercoaster, the whole deal.
We could do cotton candy and games.
-Yeah. -Like a carnival.
A barnival.
Oh my God.
A barnival!
Yeah.
Oh God, I think I made you look like a little girl.
How y'all doing out there tonight?
I said, how you doing out there tonight?
That's what we want, that's what we want.
Some nice smiles out there.
Got a guy in my apartment.
He has what I like to call resting
"I will slice your throat in your sleep" face.
He called me up to his apartment,
wanted to get his window open, been painted shut.
I was like, what's the problem?
Uh, you feel like jumping?
So here I am peeling this off so he can put
this swamp cooler in the window.
He's got like a hundred layers of paint on it.
And with every layer of paint,
I get a story from this man's life
about how horrible his world is.
Turns out he was in construction too.
And the man's been getting him down.
By the time I got the window open, I felt like jumping.
I called my friend Murph, I was like, hey Murph man,
I'm down and I don't know what to do.
He said, you got to take it slow.
You don't just eat a whole pie,
what you got to do is one slice at a time.
Think of something good, one small thing.
That worked on me for about five minutes.
But then I got home.
Y'all was here last week, y'all know that I inherited a Bigfoot.
I'm bringing my trouble to him.
I'm feeling bad about that.
But he just goes,.
I was like, sure, yeah, I'll take a bath.
And so Bigfoot draws me a bath.
And he said,.
I was like, hey, you know what?
Some lumpia does sound nice.
So Bigfoot made me some lumpia.
And I was feeling a little bit content
and good inside my stomach, but my heart was still hurting.
He said, how about so-bah-di?
And I was like, yeah, okay.
And he kind of picked me up like a puppy,
cradled me close to his chest.
He just kind of rocked me.
You ever seen a baby get hungry and reach out
for some food on its mama when mama ain't ready?
Like, no.
I felt so comfortable in Bigfoot's arms
that I reached out for some Bigfoot titty.
Bigfoot was like...
I was like, okay, I'm sorry.
I guess you're not that kind of Bigfoot.
And he said,.
I was like, okay.
Kept telling me it was going to be okay.
But something told me it wasn't.
I seen too much of the world.
Not really great.
All this climate change, people being mean to each other.
I don't know what to tell them.
I don't know how to raise a Bigfoot.
I don't know how to take care of myself in a world like this.
And I don't know, man, I just--
Life is hard, y'all.
And I'm just trying to make it, and um,
Sorry, y'all.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
It's okay.
I think it's time to switch over.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
Yeah. Please, please, everybody.
Turn back to the stage.
I'd like to introduce you to a very special guest.
Marcie Wood!
I'm not as good at this as Russell.
Let's give a hand for Russell.
Uh, our very own Murph McCoy is turning 40 this weekend.
Oh!
Um, Murph...
Uh, most of the time when I've asked you
what you've wanted over the years, you've said,
whatever it takes to be around you.
Well, I just want you to know that that's what I want, too.
Um.
So I'm wondering if you want to shut all these people
up who keep wondering when you're going to make
an honest woman out of me by letting me
make an honest man out of you.
You want to get married?
Uh, yeah!
Whoo!
Okay, I guess you're not that kind of Bigfoot.
Hey, Russell.
I'm looking at you right now.
Shit, no!
No, it's awesome.
You just saying that.
Would I joke about comedy?
Is the comedy a joke? That's the question.
I want to-- I want to put it out there.
I crashed and burned, Soph.
I know how to edit, okay?
- Got it? - Getting it.
There we go.
You guys, this video of Russell is getting like tons of views.
Oh, my God.
It's linked to the fundraiser.
"Want to see this guy live? Come on down."
Whoa, genius right here.
Shit.
Hey.
Hey, I'm really busy right now. What do you need?
Nah.
Veronica told me what's going on, just came by.
I mean, what do you need?
What do I need?
Um...
Yeah, okay.
Come on.
Oh!
Microphone check.
Hello? Hi!
Welcome to our barnival fundraiser.
#SaveEds!
Without further ado, let's give it up for our host, Marcy.
We all know that Ed's is not just a bar.
Right?
It's our home.
And the woods, that's home to a lot of things, too,
like a really cool owl that's an endangered species.
And I don't think that's an accident,
that there's this magical, one-of-a-kind thing
living outside of our doors.
Our home.
And what do you do when your home is threatened?
You come together.
You come together, and you stick up for what you love.
So play all the games,
put all your money in the jar,
and let's protect this magical,
fucking one-of-a-kind thing we got going here, all right?
Yeah!
When I was a kid, this whole area was forrest.
Like, as far as you could see, and it was beautiful.
I remember that.
And people would throw their appliances out the window,
and then they would throw their garbage
and shit out the window.
And so the question is,
what kind of world do we want to make?
Right?
Now we got a woodsy owl licking all his lollipops.
But we are also the last of our kind.
So protect this endangered species, Ed's Tavern.
Nice to meet you, Erica.
Oh, my goodness.
I-- I got to admit, this is great.
Yeah!
I got tacos!
What!
Where's Marcie?
You got it.
As I said, I'm a city boy.
Somehow Murph and Marcie convinced me
to take my Black ass to the woods looking for a bird.
Took half the day, but we finally found it.
They handed me the binoculars. I looked up.
It took me a while to see it, because it had its back turned.
But then it did one of them exorcist head swings
where it just rips his head around.
I was, "Ahh! Damn!"
He said... "Who the fuck are you?
In here disturbing my peace?"
I don't know why he sounds like Mike Tyson.
That's just what it is.
And Murph, he was like, hey man,
I just want you to know, they're talking about building
some kind of high rise and destroying all of this,
so you won't have no place to live.
The owl said, "I've been here before you.
I'll be here after.
I don't hold on to things I don't need.
And I don't need you."
And he turned around and flapped his arms
and went off into the sunset.
Do what you can to save this place, man.
Love y'all.
How we looking?
Well, it's-- it's a good start.
What do you mean?
Are you down to do another fundraiser?
Always another shoe to drop.
You kicked ass.
I don't care what anybody says.
On we go.
A round for the house on me.
I should get going.
I couldn't have done this without you.
You missed the party.
Oh, sorry guys, I was in crazy meetings all day.
-How'd it go? -It rocked.
Very successful.
Not as good as we hoped, but what is?
Well, so, I have some news.
Yeah?
I talked to the land trust.
They want in.
They want to partner up and buy the property.
-No shit. -Wait, what does that mean?
It means we have to find a private buyer
to partner with the trust.
And then we can put the land into protection in perpetuity.
For the owl and for you.
Another fundraiser.
You need to go.
You're making this happen.
I see it. I see what you're doing.
Thank you.
Look, you need to secure this.
And I want to help.
You'll do that?
You've come so far.