Most challenging trigger this week.
And how you worked through it.
Some kids came by my house last Saturday
looking for bottles for a bottle drive.
And how'd that play out?
I told them I didn't have any.
And?
Shut the door.
Made myself a coffee, and I didn't turn on my laptop.
That's notable progress, buddy.
So we want you guys to write
about your earliest memories.
Pain, joy.
Your current triggers, challenge you're facing right now.
Basically, the story of you.
Can we name them?
I'd call Anthony's 'Nosferatu: Dumpster Diver.'
That's good. Bloody good.
'Bram Stalker' 'Vampire Diaries'
- And yours, Carlos? - Guys!
'Menace to Society'?
Guys! We don't tolerate abusive behavior here.
End of story.
No pun intended.
Oh, hey!
How are you guys settling in?
You are disgusting.
Kind of a mixed bag, eh?
Yeah.
These reports are off the charts
Yeah, doc said he had to ask the guy
to refrain from touching himself seven times.
That's why he gets twice my salary.
And triple mine.
Latest guy is ready for intake.
I asked him to wait outside the washroom for you.
Oh, and Gavin...
might not want to shake his hand
You're an asshole,
you know that?
I just wanted to check to see if you needed some help
with your intake schedule,
but since that's the way you feel–
But I was.
I was going to get lunch if you wanted to come with?
Thanks. Umm.
Yeah, I I'm good though.
Okay. Yeah.
You want me to get you anything?
I'm good.
You know, I would, I'm just meeting my mom,
and and, you know, we do this thing, and...
It's okay.
Yeah. Okay. I'll talk to you later.
Actually, Gavin,
you've got stuff on your face.
Uh... bye!
Petunia, are you even paying attention?
Mom!
Baby, it's your name!
Bio wouldn't let me call you 'Otter'.
Can you just not call our fathers' 'bios'?
God, I swear you were high when you gave birth.
Well that explains Ryan.
Let's order wine.
We're on our lunch, Mom.
People don't know how to have fun anymore.
I do, Mama!
Mmm, Baby.
And your job, Petunia!
Mom, it's okay.
It's not healthy to spend time with...
those people, is all.
Why she taking so long, Daddy?
I don't know, pudding.
Sometimes machines are a little finicky.
Oh. Oh fuck.
I don't know why I had a panic attack.
What...?
What was the trigger?
My bank account.
What are you dancing around?
I mean, obviously, I have feelings.
It's nothing solid.
I'm wasting your time.
It's not my time to waste
I'm not even thinking about it.
Yeah. You are. I know you.
You feel sorry for them, don't you?
Talking about your freaks again?
I see them and their fucked up thoughts and fantasies.
But they weren't born that way.
Somebody fucked them up and now they have this
filthy stain of a life to live with.
It's my job to confront that for them.
Try and clean them up
before they marry somebody else's life with their shit.
Some days I can't wait
to get in the shower to scrub myself clean.
Which is brutal because I hate showers.
Yeah well you can thank Hitchcock for that.
Is that one of your clients?
You're so pretty.
How do you not go completely mental?
Who says she's not mental?
Asshole!
Uhh, Gents?
This is Howard.
He's going to join us for group today.
I go by Howie, if that's okay.
Yeah. Of course.
And you said there wouldn't be any newcomers.
You're right, Carlos, we did.
But this is kind of an exceptional circumstance,
so, welcome Howie.
The new guy can just walk in?
Yes.
Everyone starts on the same day!
Usually that is true, but we are welcoming Howie.
So that's it, then?
We don't have a choice.
- Yes, Carlos, that's right. - Well that's bullshit.
How's that making you feel?
No power.
Vulnerable?
Feels fine., I'm used to it.
But we all had to say how we got here.
So, Howie, do you remember what we talked about at intake?
Are you going to have to tell
everyone in the group what brought you here, right?
But you should know that everyone here
has been charged with similar convictions.
Who wants to start?
My name is Carlos.
First offense. It was a...
misunderstanding.
I met this girl.
They told me she was 13.
How was I supposed to know?
She walks up to me and starts asking me questions
about some posters I was putting up.
My cat was missing, so
I was asking around.
She looked at her phone,
said, 'it's getting late.'
So she would see me tomorrow
and hoped I found my cat.
And I said, 'it's getting dark.'
'You shouldn't take that trail.'
She said, 'it's okay.'
'It's the way I go home.'
I said, 'yeah, that's cool, but
it just freaks me out,
you know?'
She said, 'it's okay.'
I said, 'no, I have a sister.'
'I'll walk you.'
We walk into the woods.
She grabs my hand and pulls me in.
And she's like...
all over me.
Why the hell are we going to start someone with this shit?
I think you know why, Carlos.
Are you acknowledging some discomfort?
Go ahead, Howie.
I didn't mean to hurt my kid.
God, I'm just so sorry.
Why do we got to listen to this guy
freak out about his kid? Carlos is right.
We got to stop this.
How old is your kid?
Buddy.
Hey, man, you don't hear me?
How old is your kid?
This is ridiculous. The man is clearly in distress.
Fuck off, you Fruit Cake.
Guys, guys, guys!
Let's talk about your bloody little fetish!
We've already talked about my issues, Buddy.
You seem to want to talk about everybody else,
except for when the focus is on your deviance.
Whatever, Bloody Mary!
Buddy, calm down, alright?
Yes, I have my own deviant behaviors.
I make no illusions about who I am or what I've done.
That's why we're all here.
Sit down.
You look like a deranged orangutan.
Freak!
Hey, buddy. Look at me.
You have two options, okay?
You can sit down and participate with the rest of us.
Or you can leave right now.
Thank you.
♪ 'It doesn't get easier the further I run.' ♪
♪ 'It gets harder to carry the weight of what I've done..' ♪
♪ 'I don't want to run run run no more.' ♪
Tell me about a time that you just...
let go.
This one time when we were kids.
My sisters and I were at the park.
We all had balloons.
And Poppy – remember,
she's the youngest –
She was
maybe three at the time.
And she accidentally
let go of her balloon, and it flew up in the air.
But Violet says, 'awe, Pea, that was so nice of you.'
'You let your balloon go up to the fairy party.'
Now, I'm 13 years older than Poppy. I'm
16 years old.
And Violet looks at me and says, I guess it's time
that we send ours up to.
And she lets hers go.
And I can't.
My little sister's looking at me in confusion,
and my big sister's looking at me like,
what the hell is wrong with you?
But I don't let it go.
Ryan, you've chosen
a very difficult population to work with.
Why did it feel so familiar?
Sexual assault, Ryan.
Let's start by naming it.
♪ Oh, Lord, I see
what brings me here... ♪
♪ It's a mother to all... ♪
- Hey! - Hey, hi Buddy!
Hey Matty.
How was your day?
Better now that you're here.
Buckle up.
I have a surprise for you.
Matteo and I
are going to drop you off at the spa.
What?!
You're always working so hard, Michelle.
So, Matty and I'll go for some ice cream.
You didn't have to do that.
Don't worry about us men.
Right, Matty? I already booked your appointment.
Deep breath in.
And exhale
again in.
Feel your lungs fill with air.
Feel your body melt into the wood
and cushion.
Fuck this! I'm done.
I'm sick of these
stupid exercises and this stupid fucking journal.
You all know what I've done.
Fuck yeah.
I pass on this bullshit.
You guys know that these assignments are mandatory.
Uh...
Yes, Justin?
I, uh...
Holy fuck!
Jesus!
Spit it out!
Jordy, do you want to tell us
what you just got out of disrespecting Justin?
What are you talking about?
What did you get from that attack?
Nothing.
Let's fucking move on.
Let's discuss the similarities between the verbal
and sexual assault.
You're joking, right?
This is a fucking joke.
No, it's not a joke.
Sometimes it can be helpful
if we start with our earliest memories.
I don't know, my earliest memory.
I'm six.
It's Halloween.
Mom's dressing me in my costume.
Dad comes home
drunk as usual.
He starts yelling at my mom
for dressing me like a fairy.
She gets really scared
and she starts to shake.
And then he backhands her across the face,
tells her to shut that thing up.
I was 'that thing.'
Hey, man, can I talk to you?
Yeah, of course, Howie.
I'll take a seat.
- Oh! - Oh. I'm sorry.
No. My fault.
I don't know how I could have missed you.
I should have been paying attention.
I'm Jordy.
I'm Poppy. Ryan's my sister.
Uh!
Are you done with Gavin?
Just finished.
Then you're done here.
You're done.
See you later, Puppy.
I can't lose my daughter.
She's all I have.
Okay, umm...
So how do you...
How do you feel about her?
How do I feel about her?
I'm telling you how I feel about it.
Do you want to tell me what the hell that was?
- Jesus, Pea! - What, I didn't do anything.
He bumped into me.
No, you told him your name.
You know what kind of men I work with.
What are you even doing here?
Violet got mad at mom, and no one wants us to do
family therapy.
I... I don't have time for this.
Okay, but mom wants me to fix it.
FYI, that guy was super hot.
You're never to be here again.
Okay! Whatever!
No you need to go!
Okay!
When I was 20,
I met a girl on my work.
Her name was Gloria,
and she was 13.
She was really nice.
She'd take her breaks with me
and we started going out.
She was the first girl that I ever had sex with.
I felt like my heart could explode.
I just loved her so much.
Let's get back to Abby.
How I felt about Gloria.
That's how I feel about Abby.
There's just so much love.
That I just
needed to...
Why'd I do that?
I knew it was wrong.
Vicarious trauma, isn't it?
It's a possibility.
I mean, file after file of sickness.
Like, who are these fucking guys?
I don't know what I'm doing.
Tell me about the dream.
Are you seeing the assault again?
I'm almost feeling it.
'It'?
Andrew, it
doesn't matter what I call it.
No?
Jesus Christ.
'Assault.'
Sexual assault. Rape.
What are you feeling right now?
Like I don't want to talk anymore.
These freaks are hurting children.
Let's talk about children.
I'm talking about my clients.
Not children.
Sometimes it helps to look at our feelings about the victims.
If we're still talking about vicarious trauma.
You think I've been sexually abused...
I think that only your feelings count.
So do we treat the psychopathy or the paraphilia?
What do you think?
Well, psychopathy isn't treatable.
So...
Buddy's been done for sexual assault.
Fuck!
Who's the victim?
It's an eight year old kid.
Buddy befriended the mom.
She's... she's single.
She's confused.
Said that Buddy was always so friendly to her and her son.
I just talked to P.O.
Yeah, well.
Kids in the hospital getting stitches.
I mean, what are we doing here, Ry?
I keep thinking we're doing some good,
and then Buddy's out there
doing his best to keep the recidivism stats up.
And now we got a kid who gets to call himself
a victim for the rest of his life.
So what's the fucking point?!
You really think it's a waste?
What do you think would happen if there wasn't treatment?
I don't know, I'm
sorry, Jazz.
I don't know,
maybe I'm naive, but to me, it's just straight up math.
Okay, so maybe half the guys won't take to the treatment.
Or maybe they stay on the straight and narrow
for a few weeks or months or years.
But think about how many more people would be victimized
if there was no treatment at all.
Or these guys were just straight back to their shit right
off the bat.
There's literally
thousands of victims.
It just makes sense to me.
That's why it's good to have interns.
Extra marks?
Depends how fast you can get me a coffee.
Jazz, don't listen to him.
What? I thought that's why we had interns.
Well, I'm going to let you two argue that out.
I got some work to do.
And some coffee.
Yes, please.
Decaf, two Sugar.
Seriously?
Uh, hey, Jazz?
You gotta laugh or you'll cry,
or you'll
get cancer or go postal or something.
It's survivor's humor.
It's dark, but it works.
Thanks.
Grandpa.
♪ I don't want to run run run no more ♪
So I know that you love shoes.
Other than that, you're kind of a mystery to me.
Ryan Temple.
You've been lurking in my closet.
I mean, I like it, I like it.
It's. It's very cute.
If you had to write in your journal,
what would it say?
I'm a gray crayon and a box of colorful ones?
That's perfect, yeah.
Is aloof, wordy enough to distract.
What about you?
So I'm a therapist.
So naturally, I am a disaster of a human being
in most respects.
But I will say with absolute certainty
that I'm not a sociopath or a sexual deviant. So.
Well, that's really good,
because that was, of course, going to be my next question.
Yeah, yeah, I knew I knew that.
That's why I laid it out there right away,
because I don't stray very far from missionary position,
it's just not...
I don't have it in me.
What about your family?
Do they, do they live here?
My sister Anita lives here.
My other sister lives in Portland.
Okay. I've.
I've never been to Portland.
You should probably never repeat that.
It's nice there! You should go.
What about your parents?
Um, well, my dad and his wife, they are snowbirds.
Oh, so you get to escape the madness
that is family Christmases.
Mmh hmm. Definitely.
Nice. And where's your mom?
Um, my mom passed away when I was 12.
Oh, Gavin.
I'm sorry that's so young.
How did... How did you deal with it?
I thought we were supposed to be having a nice light drink.
Yeah, sorry. I, um–
I have a bit of a back story addiction.
Mmh hmm...
Okay. Umm.
My mom had this
camera that, she loved.
And when she passed away, I kind of adopted it.
And I started taking tons of photos.
And umm,
then, I guess, like, right away, after my mom
died, we went and saw my aunt for Christmas,
a nice long road trip.
And, um, along the way,
I took pictures of my sisters,
and I could see them...
I could see them in their grief,
but I could also see them being okay.
There was this emu.
And it was amazing.
Just...
Just running along its fence.
I guess at some point we stopped,
construction or something,
and it stopped, too.
Umm...
And I swear it was looking
right at me.
You can send me invoice.
No, that...
That sounded beautiful.
So you, uh, have two sisters,
Violet and Poppy.
Flowers.
Yes.
So I bet
your name is 'Platycodon Grandiflorus'
So close.
No. It's Petunia.
Petunia!
Yeah.
That was my next guess.
Yeah, you must be a green thumb.
More boring than that.
I am a Latin minor.
- Oh! - Mmh hmm.
Very handy. So you're the oldest.
No. Violet. But not by much.
Um, my mom had us when she was a teenager.
When Violet was just a baby,
my grandparents, decided to,
take a sabbatical and head to Jamaica in the hopes
that that would help contain our mother.
Mmmh.
So she one night snuck out, and,
I'm her souvenir.
Beats the hell out of a T-shirt.
Yeah, yeah.
That's awesome. And...
it's a heck of a back story.
Hey, Mrs. Laidlaw!
Want a hand with that?
Oh, hello, Jordie. You're so sweet.
But I need the exercise in case I steal myself
an extra piece of pie.
Okay, well you have a good night.
Hi.
Hi, Justin.
Shall I read your entry,
or would you like to tell me about it?
Please.
Sure.
Your sister died by suicide.
I'm... I'm sorry, Justin.
I don't really, um...
Really talk about it.
Can you read it?
Out loud?
Okay.
We had been at the neighbors for dinner.
I loved eating at the Draper's.
Sheryl stayed home.
She was two years older, so it was okay.
She said she had a stomach ache from eating
so much chocolate since Easter morning.
When we got home, mom went to check on her
and I heard her scream.
It wasn't like
when she saw a raccoon
on the back deck one summer.
It was as if a monster or something weird
was inside of her.
It's hard to explain.
Anyway, my father and I ran into the bathroom
and there she was.
My father turned and walked out of the house.
I knew why, and so did Mom.
We didn't say anything to him
because it didn't matter anymore.
She was dead.
Justin...
Maybe I should stop here and just read to myself.
No. K... k... keep reading.
Please.
I remember feeling like maybe
I might start to laugh.
And it was really weird to feel that way, but I did.
So I went to my bedroom and tried to read a book.
I looked out the window and could see my father
raking leaves.
If I'd had a gun, I knew I would have gone outside
and blown his brains out.
I think she'd been wanting
to die for a while.
The first time
I saw my father lying on top of her, I was nine.
Justin.
The point of the exercises to get some insight.
It's, it's not to punish.
I need to hear you say the words.
Why?
You got sad.
I did.
Is that important to you?
After Cheryl died, I told my mom that
if dad had been stopped, Cheryl would still be here today
Mom hit me and told me to shut up.
I lived in a foster home after that.
My foster parents were really nice,
but they had little girls.
It's not that I liked them in that way or anything.
I don't know why I did it, but I did.
My foster parents
don't talk to me anymore.
My mom stayed with him.
I think a lot of things
that happened to people are really weird.
Don't you?
I do.
I really do.
Hey.
Uh, all I have is water
or, kombucha...
Umm...
I actually need to go.
So, I will see you tomorrow.
Okay.
Do do you maybe want to grab a drink later or
something?
Later it is.
Keep going, Ryan.
You're getting there.
I understand it's dissociation,
but why can't I shift past it?
If I were my client, I'd...
I would think I was abused.
But it's got...
It's got to be because of work.
What would the difference be?
You being abused versus vicarious trauma
23. Can we not do this?
Can you just answer the question?
I don't trust myself.
I just–
I just need to know.
Knowing isn't the issue.
Accepting is where we need to focus.
Okay, I guess we know,
what to focus on next time.
We still have time.
What just triggered you?
This was helpful.
I'm going out for drinks tonight
Just be careful, okay?
Yes, Mother.
Do you guys dream a lot?
Are you having your nightmares again?
Jonesy's mad at me!
Oh, just on my way out, Mama.
Bye - Bye
What did you do?
Nothing. Is that how you greet me?
Okay, Mom, so what's the issue?
Clinic called about my breast enhancement appointment.
And Jonesy got the message.
You're getting a boob job?
Mom, you're gonna look so hot!
Poppy, for fuck's sake!
Well, three of you ruined me.
Okay, Mom. Like, what do you want?
Talk to Jonesy.
He listens to you!
He listens period.
You Just don't communicate.
That is not true.
He got mad!
You mean when he asked you why you
would go ahead and want such a thing
at 55 years of age and not talk to him–
I'm 49.
Go home and talk to your husband.
Why do you talk to me like that?
Like he's my life partner.
So go talk to him!
Just go put on some lingerie and tell him
how hot the sex is going to be.
Oh!
Ryann!
Jazz, hey! How are you?
Hot date?
Oh god no., I'm just meeting friends for a drink, so.
You look great.
You know, your evaluation is already completed, right?
Word has it you've passed.
Well, you know, I got to work on my brown nosing skills
if I'm going to get a paying job.
Why don't you join us?
Got really super cute friends and we just ordered the nachos.
Triple threat.
I'm into it.
Awesome.
Ryann, it's okay.
God, I must look like a lunatic.
You okay?
I'm just, I guess I'm not used to...
I was looking for the bathroom.
The bathroom is
down the hall to the right.
The front door is
the next one over.
Okay.
I'll see you on Monday.
So...?
What?
Okay, fine.
I brought somebody home.
Fuck, I knew it!
No, no!
Oh my God, shut up! Too loud.
Ryann got laid last night.
- Can you not? - What!
Oh, yeah. Oh. Yeah.
No, it's not headline news. I'm not a nun.
Quit. Can you not?
Who is he?
Oh, God.
Someone I shouldn't have slept with.
- Oooooh! - Bow chick a wow
You guys, stop that! It's so...!
Hey Sis, what's up?
Holy shit. You actually answered
How the fuck are you?
I'm good, I'm good.
How are you?
Dad wants us to come visit.
And how is Dad?
Is he still complaining about the heat?
Don't avoid the question.
I'm not avoiding anything.
You avoid it every summer.
Come on, it will be fun this year.
Say yes.
Please, please, please, please,
I can't. I can't.
But I promise I will, um...
I'll call you when you're there.
One day you're going to have to face mom's passing,
you know.
Gavin?
I'm still here.
Think about it. Okay?
How is your social life? Still breaking hearts,
Mr. Grinch?
Mom would want you to fall in love,
you know?
Yeah, I know.
Oh, my God, do you like someone?
You like someone!
How the fuck are you a therapist?
Are we good?
Jazz, it's like we said the other night.
Actually, it was morning.
You're making fun of this.
Trying to.
Sorry.
Continue.
It's okay.
I think we're good.
Thanks for being the better adult.
The student teachers, the teacher.
Let's not push it.
Put right back into his place.
I'm ready to read my last entry.
I think if I can speak it out
loud, I can begin to let go of my shame.
Each day as I wake, there
is a split moment where I am just a man.
That is all.
Just Anthony.
Unfortunately, that feeling is an elusive one and I'm quickly
reminded of who I am, or rather, what society sees me as.
They don't know
or care that I am transformed by music.
My mother and I would listen to records together for hours.
My father tried his best to make me happy,
but his practice took precedence.
His patience could not set aside a lift or tuck.
In order for young Anthony
to have his father come to a concert.
My mother loved me so much.
I think she felt the pain of her heart at times.
When she was well, she would wrap
her arms around me and hum to me,
or simply stroke my hair for what seemed like hours.
I did not tell my father
when I saw her begin to deteriorate,
I was torn between confusion and fear,
when I would come upon her
doing all manner of unnatural things to herself.
I'd back away
and play outside.
I knew she was beginning of the decline into madness, and
I would not be able to hide it from my father for very long.
I was 11 when she was committed.
It's a day
I wish I could erase from memory.
She looked beautiful, which, despite her
slide into psychosis, remained a constant.
My father sat beside her and touched her
skin and began to cry.
I found this frightening and I didn't know what to do
with my own sorrow.
At that moment I felt an orphan.
It is a feeling I have not lost.
And perhaps as a result, I've caused insurmountable
pain.
And when the depth of my shame and grief
are so vast that I cannot breathe, I close my eyes.
And I think of my mother.
I hear that crackling vinyl,
a soft humming.
And I know that I was once loved.
I live in hope
of experiencing that again to my life before I die.
So was she a pad girl or strictly tampons?
Get out!
Sorry I was hoping I could talk to you for a minute.
Of course, Carlos, come in.
What would you like to talk about?
I'm just really pissed off all the time.
You're gonna have to ask me questions.
Okay.
Let's start with the anger.
How old were you when you first started feeling it?
They gang raped my sister.
I was 12.
I was doing
minor jobs for them.
And, you know.
Running drugs and shit.
I wanted in,
I wanted in real bad.
This one day.
I got jumped by a couple guys.
They knew I had product,
so they robbed me.
Now I'm into it for,
like, a grand.
And they tell me
I need to make it up to them.
So now they give me more product this time, some E
and some coke, and they tell me
I got to sell it by the next day.
So I asked my sister,
she was 13.
She had a bunch of dumb friends and so she said she would.
And that's
how she got introduced to those guys.
And suddenly she's thinking,
they're so fucking hot and she's so fucking hot.
Then now she starts wearing tight clothes
and her tits hanging out.
So one day I go there to Frankie's basement,
where they all hang out. And I walk in and I hear, like,
some noise and shit.
There they are.
All around her like fucking dogs.
Her mascara's running and Joe is banging the shit out of her.
I'm 12.
What the fuck am I even seeing?
Your sister was violated by your friends.
I see now, Carlos.
But you don't.
I wanted to kill every one of those motherfuckers.
But it's my sister.
What the fuck was she doing there?
Why does she have to dress like that?
Why did she have to go there?
Those guys are fucking animals!
Do you think your sister wanted to be raped?
Well, no, obviously not.
Do you think that if she'd known she was going to be
sexually assaulted, she would have gone to Frankie's?
I played that scene so many times.
It made me hard.
Jesus, I hated her.
I hated her so fucking much!
And it made me hard,
when I first saw it.
Carlos,
part of healing is understanding
and self-forgiveness.
Forgive myself?
Have you not read the police report?
I'm going to hell!
Ain't nobody forgiving me!
Have you forgiven your sister?
She didn't do anything wrong.
Carlos, when we first started
the session, you were blaming your sister.
Let's talk out a scenario, okay.
Um, let's pretend that you – adult you –
is there with your younger self
at Frankie's.
You've just walked in and you're witnessing
your sister being abused.
What do you tell that young boy?
I don't know.
Carlos, you were just a boy.
You didn't know me back then.
I was stealing shit, running drugs.
There's a young boy in front of you.
He's just witnessed his sister being sexually assaulted.
What is he feeling?
I don't know, what do you want me to say?
I was turned on?
Is that his fault?
I don't know!
Carlos, you were 12.
Your body was flooded with hormones.
It responded.
It also responded with fear
and a feeling of wanting to protect your sister.
And what else?
I was scared!
I felt like I was going to puke.
That's trauma.
And you felt arousal. In that moment,
that 12 year-old boy had a physical response.
Did you ever act on it?
Did you ever rape your sister?
Jesus, no!
Why would you ask that?
I never wanted my sister.
It was never about her.
Are you still angry?
No.
Well thanks for being the only
other person that doesn't have a life
I have a life! I just happen to be
a very empathetic therapist who puts his desperate
coworkers needs before his own.
I'm 'desperate' now!
- Okay. - Mmh hmm.
You're out with me, aren't you?
It's hot in here.
We should go for a walk.
You and I both know that you saw me blushing,
so let's not pretend that it's hot in here.
We can just enjoy a drink and...
I mean, that's the thing with us
both being in the same field,
it's kind of hard to get away with these kinds of things.
Mmh hmm.
You maybe if you were an engineer or a dog walker.
You think I could be a dog walker.
High praise.
Oh. Hey.
Uh, Ry!
Sorry. I need to check my voicemail.
And then we can talk about the group?
Yeah, no rush. No rush.
I gotta write reports anyway, so...
I'll, I'll see you before group.
Okay.
I've been really finding myself drawn to women's washrooms.
It took everything not to go in and root around in the rubbish.
What do you think's going on for you?
Perhaps it's because I've met someone.
She a Tampax representative?
Uh, Jordy, you can leave.
What the fuck?
Just leave.
Jordy, go to the wait room.
Call your P.O..
Fuck you!
- Hey! - You can call my P.O.
I don't give a shit.
Fuck.
Bullshit.
Uhh. Take ten, guys.
Take ten.
Go grab a coffee or a water.
I wrote in my journal last night.
It's embarrassing.
I feel like I've been projecting
everything to figure my shit out.
I was abused as a child.
I feel like I've always known.
It's just really clear now.
His name was Chuck.
He babysat us.
In front of the family.
How old were you?
I don't really remember.
I remember my bedroom.
And I remember my pajamas.
Frilly shoulders and, umm,
shorts bottoms.
And I had a mobile
in the middle of my room.
Little giraffes.
What do you remember?
I remember his cheeks.
And I remember...
The feeling of his tongue
pushing into my mouth.
And it felt
spongy and weird and
I wondered if that's what a frog
feels like.
Ryann.
You've experienced
an exceptional breakthrough in your own capacity to feel.
You felt sorry for me.
I just saw it.
I don't want your pity, Dr. Stevens.
It's not pity, Ryann.
It's grief.
Derek Fuller for his intake.
No!
No! No no!
Ryann?
You all good?
Thank you, Carmen.
We're all set here.
Ryann.
That's a pretty cool name for a girl.
I've had a chance
to review your sex assault conviction.
You're under investigation for several others.
Yeah, it's a mistake, though.
I mean, obviously, you can see I'm not some
crazed rapist.
I'll just be a moment.
Let's get started on your intake.
This questionnaire
is pretty personal, eh?
Hey? Ryann?
Mrs. Temple...?
Hey Mama!
Hi, Baby. Oh, so cold!
I am so excited we're doing burlesque theme!
What?!
No, no no.
No way.
No, this isn't a stagette. She's going to hate this!
I have all the decorations, and I have a really great costume.
Okay, but Jonesy, seriou–
Burlesque?
Hazel? Would Violet actually want burlesque?
I feel she has to step outside of her comfort zone.
I know my children the best.
Come on, let's decorate!
You guys are all assholes!
Okay, whatever.
You're going to be thanking us in the morning.
Guaranteed, some hot guy is going to want
to rip that off you.
I'm dating someone, remember?
- Where is he then? - He had to work.
The birthday girl
should always have a glass of champagne
in her hands.
- I wouldn't worry about it. - Worry about what?
Nothing.
Poppy.
Okay. Enough said.
So your mom just asked me to show her my abs.
Oh, God.
We try really hard to come across as a normal family.
Okay, I just told some guy
that I can still pass the pencil test,
and he had no idea what I was talking about.
What the hell is wrong with you?
Jesus Christ, Poppy.
Don't worry about it, man. You'll get used to it.
So this is what my boobs are going to look like.
All. The. Time.
Going for the 'Pamela Anderson'.
All the way to Pam? Good for you!
So, Hazel, are you still painting?
I was wondering if Ryann and that boy
were making sweet, sweet love?
Can we just maybe send her away somewhere?
Anywhere? Seriously, we apologize.
No, no no no no, it's super fun. It's like I'm at an improv.
Mom, can I talk to you?
Yeah, sure. Baby.
What are you doing?
- Talking to your friends. - They feel uncomfortable.
- They feel harassed. - I don't like your tone.
They don't feel harassed!
Mom, you got to dial it way down
You can't be asking people questions like that.
Mom, have a sip. I make the best sangria.
Jesus Christ, Mom!
- Okay? - This is really good.
Did you hear what Violet said?
Why are you guys mad at Mama?
Pea, just stay out of this.
It's because I've been asking if Ryann is
sleeping with that boy.
Oh, I've seen how you are at the office!
You've seen nothing!
You're too busy flirting with a fucking rapist!
This is ridiculous. Mom!
Bottom line, it's none of your goddamn business.
Yes, actually, I think that it is my business,
because how else am I ever going to know if my girls
are going to get a relationship that sticks?
Oh, that's rich coming from you.
Letty!
I've been with Jonesy for six years, so–
Seven year itch must be creeping in.
Just in time for some new fucking boobs!
Okay, okay, okay!
Why don't we get some games going?
You guys come and help me set up some Karaoke.
Yeah. To Violet and her crazy fucking family,
who never fails to surprise.
Speaking of surprises, though, where's Poppy?
You said she's 'studying'?
Should we be worried?
She must be pretty serious
about that audition she has tomorrow.
Sorry I'm late!
You made it!
I got caught up in a report.
Crazy filed there, Brad?
Yeah, you know how it goes.
Murphy's law.
- Happy birthday. - Awe.
Ooh, girl it's so pretty!
Oh, your hair's wet.
It's always better when we smell nice.
And you do smell pretty good.
Mmh. Delish.
That's that Piña Colada conditioner.
Yeah, it was in the shower at work.
I thought you said you showered at home.
Yeah, but it's faster that way.
I don't know about you guys.
I'm pretty hungry.
Order some Poutines?
You're talking my language.
I'll see what I can do.
Are you gonna try it on?
Yeah, of course.
Thank you.
I told you, Bobby,
it is over!
Yes. Okay.
That's good, that's good.
That's what I expected.
See you later.
Yeah, I need to head home, too.
Violet?
Ryann?
Hi...
Ryan is going to be here in a second.
She just went to get a coffee next door, so.
Um...
Well, do you want anything?
I was just going to call her, so...
What's wrong?
I thought
we had a bit of a connection last time we met.
Yeah, totally.
We should get, like, a drink sometime.
Well.
I'm here now.
Umm...
Do you want, like, a beer or something?
I have a lot of choices–
I made sangria, so,
I can just go get you a glass.
I don't want your fucking sangria.
That wasn't offered at all.
We both saw the same behaviors.
Tell me he wasn't lying.
This is why people don't like dating therapists.
I'm going to head home.
Oh, no, stay!
I really do actually have to get up early tomorrow.
You okay?
Oh, yeah.
And then there were two.
Mmh hmm.
Get off her!
I'll be quick.
Excuse me.
I just need to help my sister for one moment.
Ryann!
I don't know what to do.
Let go of me.
I'm worried about my sister.
Just take a breath.
How is she?
Momma's here now.
What the hell happened?
I need to know what happened!
Not here.
I didn't know.
Of course you didn't know, Sweetie.
Why isn't she talking?
She's sedated.
Why don't you just say good night
and come back tomorrow?
You're kicking me out?
We are really, really tired.
Let's go home, Hazey..
Your baby's fine.
All three of them.
Come on.
Everybody needs their rest.
I need to know what's going on.
You hear me?
Sure thing. Mom.
She's going to be okay, Ryann.
How about you?
Why did you take this job?
I didn't ever think something like this
was going to happen.
No, I – I don't mean it like that.
I mean, really.
I don't know.
Thought it'd be interesting.
Umm...
When we were younger,
I told mom
I didn't want Chuck Fielding to babysit us anymore.
Umm...
I told her I didn't like him and that I would run away
if he was ever allowed back in our home again.
She didn't ask me why, but
she knew what I meant.
There was this
one time, I guess you were ten.
I was almost 12.
I was having a sleepover at Nancy's
house, and, um,
we got in this stupid argument,
so I stormed out of there
and went home.
When I got there,
Mom's car wasn't there.
It was gone.
But there was this–
this other car parked out front.
It was
super quiet
When I went in and
so I went to check on you, and,
your bedroom door was shut
and you never closed your door
when you slept–
You don't have to say anything.
It's fine.
It's not fine.
I told Mom
to never let him babysit us again.
And the one time I go to
a sleepover, she lets him back in.
I knocked on your door.
I guess I was afraid to
just walk in.
You don't have to explain.
We were kids.
Then, I heard him shush you.
And then a minute later, he just walked out
and he looked at me.
And he knew
I knew,
and he never came back.
Letty, at some point, you're going to have
to figure out how to forgive her.
She knew, Ryann.
No, she didn't.
I told her!
No, you told her you didn't like him.
Things were different back then.
People didn't talk–
Well, they didn't talk about anything.
And yeah.
Mom's all about Mom.
But she wouldn't
hurt us on purpose.
So you think she hurts us accidentally?
An accidental asshole.
You have to give her a break.
The boobs, though?
Yeah,
I should probably give your shrink a call.
Have a seat.
We're going to review your test results
and discuss your future.
You're a sex offender who has a penchant for violence.
That's not true.
It's not a dialog.
I'm not interested in anything you have to say.
You can't talk to me like that.
Why do you do it?
What kind of therapist are you?
Is it a feeling of weakness
that triggers you?
'Weakness?!'
Read your fucking report,
you dumb cunt.
I know exactly who you are.
You can go back to reception,
have your halfway house staff come and retrieve you.
Get fucked.
Yes. Okay.
Thank you.
Carmen,
can you send them back, please?
Thanks.
Sit down.
First of all, you should know I've called the police.
What?
I didn't fucking do anything.
Second, they're on their way.
This is bullshit. I'm fucking out of here.
You still on that dirty old truck?
What the fuck is this?
How many women have you sexually assaulted?
That you don't recognize one
that's sitting right in front of you?
I was 22.
You've been doing this a long time.
Why do you do it?
I'm not answering any of your fucking questions?
Why do you do it?
You're kind of fucked, aren't you?
Why do you do it?!
Because I can.
And now you have a daughter.
Do you hurt her, too?
Don't you fucking talk about my daughter.
Why?
She's a female,
and you really like to hurt females.
Did your daddy bully you?
Did Mom bring too many strange men home?
Does it matter?
You made your choices.
I'm done with you.
Hey girls.
Hey.
Hey, girls.
Hey, Jonesy. How are you?
How are you doing?
Thank you, I'm okay.
How are you doing, girl?
I'm good.
Just busy with work.
You going to have some of that latte?
She's just trying to cover up her feelings.
Her guilt.
You know your mom.
But it's eating at her, that you might be hating her.
I don't hate her, Jonesy.
Maybe it's time the two of you talked.
I mean, she's a nutcase.
I know.
But I love her.
And I know she loves you.
I know.
Talk to her, Vi.
The coffee's good, Mom.
Thank you.
Oh, honey. You're so welcome.
Ry?
Sorry I've been distant.
It's okay.
I guess I gotta work on my animal magnetism.
You have the files?
Uh, yes, I do.
So, how's our distance now?
Are you sure this is a good idea?
Yeah, I'm sure,
despite my better judgment.
Hey, Sis.
Umm...
I got your package.
This is perfect.
Thank you.
It could end badly.
Or we could communicate the shit out of it, and it could end...
goodly.
Is that a yes? I.
Oh, here's my hard working girl.
Oh, I'm so happy you're here, my Violet.
We're fine, Mom!
I'm sorry I'm late, but I know how you get
If there's no pressies!
Little birthday roast, suddenly?
Okay, well I have an audition tomorrow...
– Can you pass the hot sauce? –
so I'm going to need some help tonight.
I'll help you, Pea. What time is it?
Twelve thirty-four.
Okay, I gotta run. Sorry.
Bye, honey. I'll see you on Sunday.
Bye, see you back at the house!
♪ Have to go. ♪
♪ The end of the world, at ♪
♪ The palm of my hand. ♪
♪ When it all goes to hell, ♪
♪ will you still be my friend? ♪
♪ Their face to the sea, ♪
♪ And my back to the land. ♪
♪ If you can't come with me, ♪
♪ I'll understand. ♪
♪ Can we meet in the dark? ♪
♪ We don't have to say much. ♪
♪ And if you have to go, have to go. ♪
♪ If we didn't know ♪
♪ what we know. ♪
♪ The end of the world, ♪
♪ at the palm of my hand. ♪
♪ When it all goes to hell, ♪
♪ will you still be my friend? ♪
♪ Their face to the sea, ♪
♪ And my back's to the land. ♪
♪ And if you can't come with me,
♪ I'll understand. ♪
♪ Can we meet in the dark? ♪
♪ We don't have to say much. ♪
♪ And if you have to go, have to go. ♪
♪ I'll let you go, ♪
♪ let you go. ♪
♪ I'll let you go, ♪
♪ let you go. ♪
♪ If we didn't know, ♪
♪ what we know. ♪
♪ 'Cause when you travel light,
♪ some things are left behind. ♪
♪ The end of the world, at ♪
♪ the palm of my hand. ♪
♪ When it all goes to hell, ♪
♪ will you still be my friend? ♪
♪ With my face to the sea, ♪
♪ and my back to the land. ♪
♪ If you can't come with me, ♪
♪ I'll understand. ♪