(HOCKEY CHEERING MUSIC PLAYS)
CHARLIE: And so, the last hope for victory
rests on the shoulders
of the youngest hockey player ever to turn pro...
Charlie Boyle!
He takes the puck from Messier,
knifing through all-star defense,
greasing past Gretzky, leapin' Lindros.
In the dust! Just him and the goalie now,
mano a mano.
He shoots...
He scores!
The crowd goes wild in the arena.
(HISSING)
-Hey, Charlie. -Oh. Hey, Dad.
Hey, come here.
-I want to show you somethin'. -Well, make it quick.
That's a nice shot.
Thanks. I've been workin' on a technique
that maximizes puck velocity
by calculating the exact rate of forward momentum
-required in the... -Charlie. English?
Oh. Um... it's all in the wrist.
Gotcha.
You get changed outta your school uniform,
hop on the Zamboni.
I need clean ice for the afternoon crowd.
Oh. No can do.
-I gotta be somewhere. -Charlie.
I thought I told you not to bring these blasted things in here.
Bad for business.
Besides, I need you around here.
Can't Zamboni with a bad backbone...Y. (CHUCKLES)
You won't have to. I built this for you.
This is what I wanted to show you.
It's not radioactive, is it? I don't want to lose any hair.
Go ahead and put it on the ice.
It emits a positive magnetic charge along the ice,
briefly transforming electrons to positrons,
which temporarily ruptures the covalent bonds
between molecules.
-Once the bonds reform, then... -Charlie.
Right. English.
Um, push that button right there,
and she'll be smooth as a baby's butt.
Oh, one more thing.
Cover your ears.
(SQUEALING)
(DEEP DESCENDING OSCILLATIONS)
(LOUD BOOM)
(CHUCKLING)
Oh, that is some trick.
Dad, I gotta go. I'm late for some street hockey.
I have a feeling they're finally gonna let me play today.
See ya.
Yeah. See ya.
CHARLIE: Come on, team! Let's go!
Go, team!
-BOY 1: Move. -BOY 2: Go now!
BOYS: Yeah!
Excuse me. May I talk to you for a second?
What do you want, cranium crud?
Well... I would like to play.
You know, for someone so smart, you're pretty stupid.
What makes you think we'd ever let you play?
Oh... I don't know. Maybe this.
We play in the street, genius. A puck won't work.
This one will. Watch.
-BOY 1: Hey! -BOY 2: Whoa!
BOY 3: Oh!
-BOY 4: Nice. -BOY 5: All right!
BOY 6: Did you see that?
-Wow. -MAN: How did he do that?
How'd you do that?
It's made with graphite polymer,
engineered to resist friction on concrete.
Designed it myself.
Not bad.
Not bad at all.
Okay, brainiac. You're in.
Cool! Okay, let me just take off my scarf.
Okay.
Ready!
(WITHOUT ENTHUSIASM) Great.
You know, it's my ambition to someday design a puck
that'll actually float off the ground.
-But, of course... -Yeah.
...that'll require the manipulation of gravitons.
Great. Uh, why don't you play defense?
You know,
Dr. Krickstein is the real authority on the subject.
He's kinda my hero. He and Sergei Federov.
Oh, man. I just realized something.
If you're on our team, that makes the sides uneven.
So, I'll tell you what.
How about you go sit on the curb
-and we'll work you in? -Oh... okay.
Okay.
CHARLIE: Hey, guys, don't hit it so hard.
Remember, it's graphite. Easy does it.
Well, hello there.
Dr. Krickstein. Perhaps you've heard of him.
Particle wave conflict?
Sergei Federov?
BOYS: Yeah!
-(KNOCK ON DOOR) -CHARLIE: Come on in.
Brought you some brain food.
Don't need it.
Got any cool, popular, socially well-adjusted food?
Sorry. Ate all that.
So, you, uh...
You skipped dinner
to spend your evening in the room
futzing with a hockey stick and feelin' sorry for yourself?
Not entirely. Took a minute to feel sorry
for the people in war-torn countries.
Well, don't let it get you down, Charlie.
I'm sure that things will look up
Once you're at... Harvard...
Princeton...
-MIT... -My college scholarships?
-Word came back? -Cal Tech...
♪ Charlie's going to college ♪
♪ Everybody wants him ♪
♪ Hey, Charlie's going to... ♪ Conga line!
-Dad... -♪ Charlie's going to col... ♪
I have a photographic memory.
I gotta live with these images for the rest of my life.
That's the problem with you geniuses.
All brains and... no rhythm.
You know, Charlie...
your mom and I are very proud of you...
'cause nobody in this family has ever gone to college.
And you... are goin' five years early.
So. If there's anything I can do to help you decide...
Already done.
"Northern University of Wisconsin."
I didn't know you... applied there.
Huh. Didn't want to jinx it.
All expenses paid. I just have to teach a few classes.
Charlie...
every one of these is all expenses paid.
All right. The truth is,
there's this guy at Northern. Dr. Krickstein?
Krickstein? Isn't that the guy
-you've been readin' about? -Right.
He's this close to discovering the graviton.
Do you know what this means?
(SIGHS) If we can figure out how the graviton works,
we might be able to manipulate gravity.
Defy it.
Think of a world where bridges won't collapse,
where planes won't crash.
A world where your mother's soufflé won't fall!
CHARLIE'S MOM: I heard that.
(CHUCKLES)
Now, you... You're sure about this?
I mean, I've got... I've got Harvard here.
Positive. The lab where I'll be working,
completely state of the art.
Dr. Krickstein uses the ice from the hockey rink
to cool his particle accelerator.
You see, the lab is directly under the hockey rink.
Science and hockey! My two favorite things
in the world are in the same building!
When I found that out, I knew it was for me.
♪ Charlie's goin' to Northern ♪
BOTH: ♪ Charlie's goin' to Northern ♪
♪ Charlie's goin' to Northern ♪
If you're sure about this, son...
I'm sure, too.
♪ Charlie's goin' to Northern ♪
BOTH: ♪ Charlie's goin' to Northern ♪
♪ Charlie's going to Northern ♪
♪ Hey, Charlie's goin' to Northern ♪
Dad. I used nanotechnology to give this stick here
an electromagnetic charge every time it touches a puck...
creating superpower and speed.
Wait till the guys get a load of this.
(BUZZING)
-MAN: Ow! -(BANGING AND RATTLING)
(RAH-RAH COLLEGE THEME PLAYS)
(SHRILL WHISTLE BLOWS)
All right, ladies, Listen up!
We've got a good shot this year, but as we all know,
the championship goes through Rumsen.
Now, you, new guys
need to be aware that good ol' Rumsen
ain't always so good,
Especially when they execute the Rumsen rack.
What's the Rumsen rack?
Oh, nothin' much, really.
They just create a distraction.
And when you ain't lookin'...
-you get roughed! -(GROANS)
And they usually go after your best player.
Who's gonna be ready and waiting.
Now...
we got a whole truckload...
-(ELECTRICAL HUMMING) -...more work to do this year.
-PLAYER 1: What the... -PLAYER 2: Argh!
(ROARING AND ELECTRICAL HUMMING)
-Not this again. -Can you believe that?
Krickstein!
(ELECTRICAL HUMMING STOPS)
Man, I thought they were gonna give
ol' crick-in-the-neck the boot and let us have our arena back.
They were...
until they recruited some super-genius kid
to help him solve the mysteries of the universe
or some such garbage.
Man, we almost had the arena to ourselves!
What's the little pipwhiffer's name, anyway?
Charlie Boyle!
Been lookin' all over for you.
(CHUCKLING)
I'm Dean Wallace. Welcome.
We're expecting great things from that brain of yours, son.
Everyone's so excited to have you here at Northern.
Well, not everyone.
I think they hate me.
What, that bunch of losers?
-(SPITS) -Who cares about them, huh?
Let me tell you somethin'.
They lose that big game with Rumsen,
it's good-bye, Coach No-win-big-game.
Gkktt!
Come on. Let's go meet Krickstein.
Gkktt!
(ROARS)
Our facilities here were built in 1954, Charlie.
Beautiful, ain't they?
-Yeah. -Huh?
Best in the country, I think.
Here we go. Right down here.
It's kinda chilly.
Chilly? It's colder than Admiral Byrd's underpants.
-(MUFFLED ALARM BLARING) -Not much to look at, either.
I don't like it down here. Anyway...
I got some major, major... stuff to do.
I am dean after all. (CHUCKLES)
Professor!
-Good. -KRICKSTEIN: Hello?
Charlie!
Charlie Boyle! I am so excited to see you.
Welcome, my friend. Come with me.
Got a lot to show you, buddy. This...
is the particle...
accelerator.
Huh? What do you think?
(PARTICLE ACCELERATOR WHIRRING)
-She looks kinda old. -Well, it is kinda old.
But it's not about looks.
It's what's under the hood that counts.
(STEAM HISSING)
(CLATTERING)
Shh!
You wait right here. Got somethin' for you.
Son... if you're so sure, I'm sure, too.
(THINKING) So much for Harvard.
Here you go, Charlie, got your own lab coat. Put it on.
It's a little chilly down here, we're underneath the ice rink,
but it does help to keep the accelerator nice and cool.
How's that feel, huh?
Fit good? Come on.
Come over here. I got more to show you.
Here's your workstation.
Oh. Charlie, I read your paper
on the symmetry of fractal entropy.
It blew my mind!
(SYSTEM CLANKING)
Charlie, look. I know you're... you're a little disappointed
the place is not exactly what you expected.
It's just that the funding's not coming in like it used to.
But I'm not worried, 'cause I know you and I,
we're gonna find a graviton, Charlie. We can do it!
Together. What do you say?
Yeah...
together.
Things aren't really so bad here, I guess.
At least my roommate turned out to be a nice guy.
Yeah, you met him already?
Actually, no. I'm going to go meet him right now.
I spoke to him on the phone though.
He said that the left side was his.
Help me here. And, uh...
the sodas in the fridge were his,
and, "Later, dude."
(CHUCKLES) And this is nice?
He called me "dude."
(CHUCKLES)
See ya later.
See you later, Charlie.
(CHUCKLES)
Hi.
Hello.
The lair. Cool.
Hi, guys.
What are you doing here?
Well, I kinda live here.
Oh, oh, oh, no.
There's no way I'm sharing a room with Krickstein Jr.
But this is my housing assignment.
(SCOFFS) The lair just became the diaper den.
(LAUGHING)
(LAUGHS)
What are you laughing at, Pintstein?
This is going to be a long year.
I know I have to teach classes
as part of my scholarship,
but why do I have to teach this particular class?
Well, duh. You're a physics genius.
It's a physics lab.
What do I got to do, draw you a road map, son, huh?
Come on. Away you go.
Hello.
I'm Charlie, and I'll be teaching this class.
Hello, I'm Mike, and I'll be disrupting it.
(LAUGHING)
All to myself.
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
-(PEOPLE WHOOPING) -(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
Supposedly, the party started in the quad,
and then it went to the arena,
and then it ended up in the common area
where I had to listen to it all night.
Ha! That sounds like fun.
How come you didn't just join them?
Because all the other reindeer hate my big, red shiny nose.
Why do you think? I mean, they just don't like me.
Come on. Don't like you?
You sure?
I've had this problem before.
I try to make friends. It never works.
Well, why don't you try something different?
-Like what? -(LAUGHS)
-That's funny. -What?
Well, you're asking for social advice
from a guy that's been alone
in the lab for the last 15 years.
Good point.
I'll see you after my workout.
Okay. Hey, one thing.
What I really meant was that a good scientist
doesn't keep repeating the same experiment over and over
expecting to get different results, right?
-Yeah. -You know what I mean?
-Yeah. -Okay.
Have a good workout. I'll see you in the lab.
-All right. Bye. -Okay, buddy.
(GIRL WHOOPS)
Whew!
Yes, yes, yes, yes. Whew! Yes.
Always a classic move, Bob.
(BRITISH ACCENT) You know, I couldn't agree more, Dick.
It's a dazzling performance by Miss Addison.
But if she wants the gold, Dick...
she's got to nail the double toe loop.
Perfect landing.
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Whew! Yes! You go, girl. Yes!
(IMITATING CROW CHEERING)
I didn't realize anyone was here. (LAUGHS)
(SIGHS)
I'm Claire.
I'm Ch-Ch-Ch...
Ch...
A good scientist doesn't keep repeating the same experiment
over and over expecting to get different results.
Ch-Chaz.
Chaz from... Chicago.
Chicago, huh?
Then you're new around here.
Yeah.
So, where do you go to school?
Excuse me?
Where do you go to school?
Where do you go?
Franklin.
Well, there's your answer.
Cool.
So, I guess I'll see you around.
Definitely.
Cool.
(EXHALES)
CHARLIE: Franklin Junior High just got a new student...
Chaz Anthony.
How do people see in these things?
Amy Abrahams?
Claire Addison?
Here.
Chaz Anthony?
(DOOR OPENS)
Chaz Anthony?
Uh, yeah, yeah, yo.
(LAUGHTER)
I'm so glad you decided to join us.
Please, take a seat.
I said, take a seat, young man.
I see first impressions are your strong suit.
Well, you can either take a seat here,
or you can take a seat just outside the principal's office.
Just kidding.
Hey, man,
nobody ever dared to irk off old Lady Spurlot before.
Paul O'Donnell. Friends call me Odie.
You're hardcore, man.
Settle in, Chaz.
I'll be teaching this class all year.
And I'll be disrupting it.
And it took many, many years
before Galileo could prove his theory to be correct,
that, indeed, the planets
travel around the sun in a circular orbit.
Elliptical.
GIRL: What?
Well, technically, you're right, Chaz.
Well, I'm very impressed.
Uh, I was, uh...
skating and some geek told me that the...
ice rink was elliptical.
Didn't think the info could come in handy
while I was sticking his tongue to the ice.
TEACHER: All right, all right.
As you may or may not know...
-Hey, Chicago. -Yo.
-This is Deion. -Hey, homes.
Yo.
Odie says you're down. Mind if I join you?
Sure. I mean, yo.
(WATCH BEEPS)
Oh, man I got to go finish my experiment.
Experiment?
Uh, yeah, experiment to see how long I can stay in school
without ever actually going to school.
Later.
First day and he's ditching at lunch.
He's the bomb.
Hey, how's it going?
Hey.
I finished the calculations for today's experiments.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, the data's right there on your desk
underneath your eighth grade geometry book, Chaz.
So how'd you find out?
My computer told me.
So who's Chaz?
(SCOFFS) A guy who has a life.
I've gone through life so far as Charlie Boyle
and it isn't any sleigh ride.
Today, Chaz met a whole group of guys
who thought he, I was cool. Me.
That has never, ever happened to me before. Ever.
And I'm going back.
Okay.
Okay?
Charlie, I'm not your dad.
You're in college now. I don't care what you do
as long as you get your work done.
Good.
But I need a partner who's going to be dedicated.
Right. When I'm here, it's all about work.
-Good. -Science. Nothing else.
Glad to hear it.
So they really thought you were cool?
One kid even gave me his lunch money
'cause he thought I was going to beat him up. (LAUGHS)
Love to love you, Claire,
and I mean that.
Love to love you, Claire,
and I mean that.
Yo, yo, Claire, wassup?
(IMPERSONATING ELVIS) I like you, Claire.
Always have. Always will.
(GIRL LAUGHING)
Oh, look, I got this one from a street fight.
Look at that.
Oh, and, uh, this one when I flipped my Harley.
(LAUGHING)
I got appendix scars.
Bear, bear...
Listen, it's not the scar, all right? It's the story.
Girls like bad boys, Okay?
MIKE: Okay, girls, if you think that was something...
Bad boys, huh?
Sorry about that, Principal Kirch,
but I'm sure that toe will heal.
(CLASS LAUGHS)
(SIGHS) Six detentions in three days.
Personal record.
And you made it to my class with five whole minutes left.
Another personal record.
Well, the skeleton lecture sounded awful interesting,
so I thought I'd vary my routine a little.
(CLASS LAUGHS)
Park it, Mr. Anthony,
and lose the blades.
Catch you later, Claire.
TEACHER: All right, everyone, settle down.
-You're spinning your wheels. -(TEACHER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
Claire Addison is in the Honor Society.
And Chaz Anthony's not.
Honor Society girls never like Honor Society guys.
Trust me on this one.
Sounds like a risky game plan to me.
Look, I've analyzed the situation
and now, I'm enacting a strategy
just like any good sci...
psy... cho for the hottest chick madman would do.
Cool.
A little something to brighten up today's boring lecture.
So, we've learned that the skeletal frame
is the structure upon which our bodies are built.
Of course, alone, it's not much good.
It requires a complex series of muscles, tendons and nerves
to actually move.
And remember,
just because your skull is made of bone,
that doesn't mean you have to be a bonehead.
Thank you. Thank you.
I'll be here all week.
Cool!
All right, now, let's start with the legs and the feet.
Now, how many bones do you think are in your feet?
Big finish.
-Not a fan? -No, I am a big fan.
I just wish you'd use your powers for good, not evil.
When exactly did you go over to the dark side?
What are you talking about?
It took a lot of thought to rig that up.
A lot of scientific thought.
Maybe you're a genius and you don't even know it.
There are geniuses your age, you know.
I was talking to a colleague over at Northern.
He was telling me about a young man...
Oh, some geek in Science Club helped me rig it up.
(BELL RINGS)
Who was it that helped you?
Like I said, some loser in Science Club.
It's pretty impressive.
And I'll wager you his future doesn't include the words:
"Do you want fries with that, sir?"
(CHUCKLES)
All right. Now, who wants to come up here
and finish charting these points on the polar graph for me?
(LAUGHING)
(SIGHS) Okay, Mike, let's see it.
(LAUGHING)
(CLASS LAUGHS)
Ooh, bitter irony.
Savagely lampooned on my own chalkboard
with a crude caricature
essayed by that japesome wag Mike MacGregor.
You know...
I used to think that you were cool. Jerk.
ALL: Ooh!
Ooh, look at me, I'm japesome.
(CLASS LAUGHING)
-CHARLIE: Hello. -Hey, Charlie, progress report.
Oh, hey, Dad.
Well, the graviton continues to elude my grasp,
I can't get to square one with this girl I like,
and my students have become openly hostile.
Not to mention the dorm food.
That bad, huh?
Well, the only fatherly advice I can give you
about the science stuff is just keep plugging away.
Now, as far as girls are concerned,
I know less about that than science.
But I'll tell you this:
if those rotten students were bugging me,
I'd flunk the little weenies, or make them get a tutor.
A tutor! Dad, you're a genius!
(DIAL TONE)
Genius?
I guess it does run in the family.
You're never going to guess
what I've got right here.
Okay, I'm guessing Steven Hawking's autograph.
Not even close.
Okay. Oh...
evidence for graviton?
-My first F. -Your first F.
Your first F?
I got to hang this up somewhere.
Do we have a refrigerator in here?
What am I saying? This whole place's a refrigerator.
Charlie, I know I'm a little out of the loop on this thing,
but why are you so happy about getting your first F?
I gotta go.
Yo, dude, there she is.
-Hey. -Hey.
So, uh, I guess they're gonna kick me out of school
if I don't get better grades.
(SCOFFS) And I would care because...
Because I need a tutor and, uh...
You're pretty okay.
Can't you find anyone else?
No. I mean,
well, you were the first one on my list.
Maybe we could work something out.
I could tutor you in a few things.
I'm not interested.
Then I guess I should start practicing.
You want fries with that, sir?
My schedule's very busy.
I only have time after school and, uh, before practice.
Oh, great. Just what I want to do after school: more school.
-Take it or leave it. -Take it.
-Fine. -Fine.
("I WOULD DO ANYTHING" PLAYING)
-Come in. -(DOOR CLOSES)
Hey, nice... crib.
Thanks.
I got you something.
Me?
The new Backstreet Boys.
Yeah, you know, just to say thanks and all.
That's good, isn't that? I mean,
that's what we're supposed to be listening to, right?
I mean, do you like it?
Yes!
Thank you.
Hey, so, what's with the museum?
Oh, it's my dad's.
He's the hockey coach over at Northern.
Do you want to meet him?
-Hey, Daddy! -No, I mean...
-What is it, honey? -I want you to meet...
Jason...
-Of Friday The 13th. -Chaz?
"Part 12. The Coach's Nightmare."
-CLAIRE: Chaz? -I'm just going to get
-my things here. -Chaz?
Nice meeting all of you.
(DOOR OPENS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
Okay.
I don't know, Charlie.
I can't say I approve.
Although...
I would've loved to have seen coach Addison's face.
I'm glad he didn't see mine.
I had to smooth things over with Claire, too.
That was 20 miles of rough road on the apology turnpike.
-Hey, Doc? -Hmm?
-You ever have a girlfriend? -Yeah, sure.
You know, when I was your age, for my science fair project,
I built a robot called Cheryl,
and we became very close.
I hope you're kidding.
Maybe.
Look at this.
Nothing again.
I don't get it, Charlie.
We have tried every permutation in the book,
and still, there's no sign of a graviton.
Well, maybe if we take our minds off it,
it'll just come to us. You know, if we sit back, relax,
and, uh, have a little fun.
Archimedes.
The Eureka Syndrome, yeah.
You know, Edison really believed in that.
Whenever he had a problem that he couldn't solve,
he would just do another activity,
and then boom, the answer would come to him.
Eureka!
That's what I'm talkin' about.
Come on, dance with me.
Oh, no, I don't think so.
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS)
Come on. What do you got to lose?
Uh, you don't want to know.
(ALARM BUZZES)
The alarm!
Doesn't that mean we've isolated the graviton?
Impossible! It's the same experiment we just ran.
-Nothing's any different. -Except for the music.
We've been looking at a graviton only as a particle up until now.
We can just as easily think of it as a wave.
You said so in your book.
Particle wave conflict. How could I miss this?
Okay, okay, what does this mean? Um...
the music. Sound waves from the music
set up a phased harmonic,
which affected the nuclear matrix,
and released the graviton!
In other words, groovy little house beat
just unlocked the mysteries of the universe!
We did it, Charlie! This is big! We found the graviton!
Oh, man!
This is very big.
Now you got it, Doc, just like that particle.
Okay, you know what this means?
We can do it, Charlie! We can change the world!
-Oh! -Can we do it later, though?
I'm kinda late for science class.
Yeah, sure. Go on. I'm fine.
BOY: Told you I studied.
A "C". Maybe I am a genius after all.
Maybe you just had a good tutor.
Well, Chaz, you may not be a genius,
but you are going to meet one.
After the skeleton incident, I got to thinking
it might be good for you to meet a kid your age
who's not ashamed of being smart.
Good. He can probably use some one-on-one
with a kid who's not ashamed to kick his butt.
(CLASS LAUGHS)
Yes, well, not just you, the entire class.
I've arranged a field trip today to Northern.
I spoke to Dean Wallace about an hour ago,
and he's invited us over to meet the young man.
-(BELL RINGS) -So, let's go, everyone.
Uh, I'm going to meet you there.
Track trials next week.
Uh, out of shape. Gotta practice.
-Doc! Doc! -Charlie, Charlie, come here.
I got to show you something really cool.
-Doc, listen to me! -Careful.
You get that stuff on you,
it's going to turn your skin six shades of purple.
My eighth grade science class is coming here right now
to see Charlie Boyle.
Oh.
Oh, what?
Well, that explains why the dean was after you all morning.
Oh, that's great. What am I going to do?
Well, you can't be in two places at once.
It violates all the laws of physics.
So...
Wait.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Six shades of purple?
Thank you very much. Thank you and welcome.
We are very pleased to count among our ranks today
the youngest particle physicist
to ever grace the pages of Scientific American,
Mr. Charlie Boyle.
But before I bring Mr. Boyle out,
I have some startling news.
A terrible lab accident has left young Mr. Boyle
temporarily disfigured.
But plucky scientist that he is,
he has agreed to come out and talk to you anyway,
if only for a short time.
So please make him feel at home here.
A nice round of applause. Mr. Charlie Boyle. Charlie?
(AUDIENCE GASPS)
(PUBLIC WHISPERING)
CHARLIE: (IN GRAVELY VOICE) Thank you, fellow teens.
Please do not let my gruesome appearance frighten you.
I assure you that my awful pain will eventually subside.
Since I am in obvious discomfort,
I will now take my leave
and let Professor Krickstein
talk to you about electrons and stuff.
Well, uh...
-Electrons. Okay, uh... -Psst!
Just excuse me for one second, I think I have a call.
I'll be right back. Just talk amongst yourselves.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
What?
How do I get the purple junk off my face?
It's starting to burn.
Just use soap and water.
Right! I'll hit the bathroom, and you go out there and...
keep up the good work.
W-w-w-what am I supposed to say?
I don't know. Make it up.
Off.
Many times, I think that an atom is...
is pretty much like the universe...
I gotta go pay the water bill. Excuse me.
KRICKSTEIN: The nucleus and the orbiting electrons...
Chaz?
This is a very valuable clue
as thymine is changed to uracil.
Uh, here at the university, we have, uh, T-1 lines, but...
Chaz Anthony? I'm shocked you even showed. But glad.
You're the main one I wanted to meet Charlie Boyle.
Actually, my tie was a gift
from the head of the anthropology...
Excuse me, uh, Dr. Krickstein, uh,
perhaps if Charlie isn't well, I should phone Dean Wallace
and schedule another field trip.
No, no, there's really no need to involve Dean Wallace in this.
I'm sure I can convince Charlie to come back.
-It's just that right now... -What are you doing to me?
...you see, he's getting his, uh, nourishment
and he has to do that before...
A premasticated gruel has to be force fed
into what now passes for his esophagus.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)
It appears that, uh, Charlie is in need of assistance,
so I'll be right back.
-What? -What are you doing?
-Well, it-it's too much? -Yes!
Why'd you tell them I'd go back out there?
'Cause that teacher was gonna tell the dean to reschedule.
We don't want to do this again. Let's just get it over with.
Okay. Okay. Give me a push.
(SCREAMING)
-(GROANS) -(CLATTERING)
(LAUGHTER)
Oh, my gosh.
You guys, somebody should help him.
-Here, let me... -No, no, no!
(IN GRAVELY VOICE) I'm fine, I'm fine.
-I can do it myself. Really. -He's fine, he's fine.
Okay, that's it for today. Uh, in light
of today's circumstances, that's it for Mr. Boyle.
You kids do your homework. Bye.
Hey.
I decided to move my stuff back in.
I need some help.
You? Need help?
With what?
Well, you name it. Physics, chemistry, poli-sci.
What difference does it make? You have everything.
I could say the same about you.
Me? Ha!
Look at you, Mike, you've got looks,
charm, confidence, women, poise...
women.
And looking forward to getting kicked off the hockey team,
losing my scholarship
and getting a job as a forklift operator
in a cheese factory.
-Not a bad trade-off. -(MIKE LAUGHS)
Yeah, right.
Look, I want more than that out of life, Charlie.
I... I want something that you've got...
and I don't.
What's that?
A future.
So, you want me to tutor you?
Yeah. And if there's anything I can do in return...
Well, there is something...
Okay, more of a someone really.
What's her name?
Claire. I just don't know how to make my move.
I mean, I've done a great deal of exploratory research, and...
All right, look. S-Shut up. Listen to me.
Take all the information that you gathered,
-everything you've learned... -Yeah?
...and forget it.
What?!
Research is no good when it comes to girls.
You think too much and you're dead.
You just got to relax and...
do what comes natural.
-Do... what... -Don't...
think, just do.
Don't think, just do.
Right.
Let's hit the books.
Yeah!
You're right. Good play.
Goin' for the hat trick.
I'm prayin' for that, too.
BOY: Go low on the pass.
Hey, Chaz, where you going?
I'm winded.
-Spellman. -Yeah!
So do you wanna catch a ride with me and dad
to the Northern game tomorrow?
Uh... you and your dad?
Um, no, I can't. In fact, I can't go at all.
-Why not? -This is the year
we're finally gonna kick some Rumsen tail.
-Yeah. -I'm sorry, I...
have to watch my sister.
I thought you said you were an only child.
I am.
Sister Mary Catherine. She's a nun...
and an invalid.
-See you Monday, then. -Later.
Later... dude.
Yo.
Isn't it beautiful?
I love the snow.
Yeah, it's all right.
"All right"?
Well, at least here it stays white.
Back in Chicago, it always ends up dirty.
Like the mean streets, you know?
You're not so tough.
(IMITATES ROBERT DE NIRO) Ya talkin' to me?
-(SNICKERS) -Are you talking to me?
-(LAUGHS) -Yeah?
I know what you did for that little boy.
You weren't tired.
I just needed a break, that's all.
(EXHALES)
This is it.
Okay, give it a sec.
Let her wonder.
Great mystery.
Three more seconds.
Turn and...
Uhh...
Don't think, just do.
So, uh...
where'd you learn how to skate like that? Your dad?
No, I learned how to skate like this from my dad.
(GRUNTS)
This I learned from my mom.
She was a figure skater. That's how she and dad met.
When I was little...
I was kind of a tomboy.
I wanted to be a goalie like dad.
Then one winter, Mom took me to Lake Chenowith
to see her compete
in their annual outdoor figure skating competition.
She was good and all,
but nothing earth-shattering.
And then, right in the middle of her routine...
the heavens opened up,
and snow started to fall.
And her whole attitude changed.
Suddenly, she was no longer just... just a skater
doing compulsory moves for the judges.
She was a ballerina...
in a snow globe.
(CHUCKLES) The next day,
I traded in my goalie mask for a sequin skirt.
She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.
You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
(GIRLS GIGGLING)
Okay, kid, I'm off to the conference in Milwaukee.
I-I'll be back... a couple of days.
Hey! Why don't you just go upstairs and watch the game?
'Cause half the people up there think I'm a genius,
and then the other half think I'm a punk.
Suit yourself.
I'm going to use the particle accelerator while you're gone.
Might as well get some work in, as long as I'm stuck down here.
Mi particle accelerator es su particle accelerator.
Just do me a favor and be real careful, okay?
It's the only one we got.
See ya.
ANNOUNCER: Welcome to Northern Lights Hockey.
MIKE: Whoa!
Igloo City.
Mike.
Yeah, it's a particle accelerator.
The ice from the rink cools it.
(SIGHS) Listen, I got my midterm report card back,
and I wanted to say thanks for passing me.
Hey, you have nobody to thank but yourself.
Sure, I do. So, uh... Here.
-It's from me and the guys. -Thanks.
Hey, good luck today.
We're at the top of our game, So Rumsen's goin' down.
Unless they cheat.
What if they come after you with that Rumsen Rack
the coach is always going on about?
Well, the guys will just have to watch my back.
I don't know of any way to defend against it.
I might.
(CROWD BOOING)
MAN: Go home!
ANNOUNCER: Northern University welcomes you
to the Central Conference Championship game,
between your Northern Lights and the Rumsen Raiders.
(CROWD BOOING)
Sounds like the Northern fans
are gonna drown out the Rumsen fans.
Dude, those are the Rumsen fans.
It turns out they only respond to negative reinforcement.
I hear they recruit exclusively from broken homes.
BOY: Come on, dude.
All right, the three to worry about
are Stoker, Ryder and Cross.
Cross will usually distract the referee here,
while Stoker and Ryder rack our best player,
which is me.
Yeah. So how do we stop it?
Well, we don't.
We send somebody else out there with my number,
and we let him get racked.
That's your plan? We'll still lose a player in the process.
Not necessarily.
We could just lose an equipment manager.
-But... -And you'd come out with a phony
-number. I like it. -But...
Let's get out there and stick it to these cheaters.
(YELLS OF AGREEMENT)
How'd you come up with this, Mike?
Hey, I'm a genius.
Hugo, suit up!
Hey.
Thanks, I owe you one.
We're even.
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen,
your Northern Lights!
-(CHEERING) -(ORGAN PLAYS "CHARGE")
(MUFFLED HOCKEY RINK MUSIC)
-(CROWD CHEERING) -Addisons, a word.
Dean Wallace, Good of you to come.
Yeah, enough pleasantries. Listen,
if we beat our arch rival tonight,
which would be a first in your tenure, if I'm not mistaken.
We'd get to take home some sort of great big cup, would we not?
Yes.
Yeah, I want that cup...
so badly.
So, I guess you know what's at stake now, huh?
Well, I'm off to the concessions.
I gotta get my foam finger.
Don't worry, honey, we're gonna win.
ANNOUNCER: And now, the championship face-off.
Northern controls the puck.
Yeah!
(HORN BLASTS)
That's it! I can't take it anymore.
Five minutes, five minutes. No one will ever see me.
(BEEPING)
Whoa!
Yeah!
-Chaz? -Odie.
We thought you weren't gonna show. Come on.
-By the way, cool shirt, man. -Thanks.
Chaz, what happened to Sister Mary?
She...
got up and walked.
It-It's a miracle.
They're thinking of canonizing her.
(LOUD BEEPING, ALARM BLARING)
(GRUNTS)
-Right on the money! -Yeah.
Chaz? Yes!
This isn't good.
Daddy.
Yes, yes!
-What's that, puddin'? -He's over there.
Dad, the boy I was telling you about, he's here.
-What's that, sweetheart? -He's... He's here.
He was just there a second ago.
(CROWD BOOS)
Here we go, they're getting in position for the rack.
Hang in there, Hugo!
(HUGO GROANS)
(CROWD BOOS)
-Who's that? -I don't know.
ANNOUNCER: Goalie Garcia unable to intercept...
Whoo-hoo!
Yeah! Whoo!
Whoo-hoo!
-It's the breaker. -That was so totally unfair.
Yeah!
You okay, Hugo?
Can Zoo-Zoo come out to play?
ANNOUNCER: ...this reminder. Immediately following...
Charlie, just in time. How ya doin', huh?
I'm itchin' to bring my golden boy in front of the local press
-out there. The shirt... -Sir, actually...
is a nice touch, shows loyalty. And I'll award the finger.
-I do, but... -Can't point the direction
with a normal-sized finger.
Come on, I got the best seats in the house. Rinkside.
I'm right in the middle of an experiment.
I gotta get back to the lab.
Experiment, huh?
Press. Big press. Big press. Okay, make it an important...
No, make it a super-important experiment.
Come on, come on. Let's catch the game.
Hey! Here we go.
(BEEPING AND ALARM BLARING)
Hey! Uno to Zippo.
I like it. Come on, move over!
(GROANS)
I can't believe that.
Daddy, he somehow weaseled his way onto the bench.
-That is so him. -Who, sweetie?
Chaz. The boy sitting next to Dean Wallace.
Oh, you mean Charlie?
Charlie? His name's not Charlie.
That's Chaz Anthony. He's the boy I've been tutoring.
No, that's Charlie Boyle. He's a student here.
That's Chaz.
He's been to our house. He wore your golden goalie ma...
And now I know why.
He was trying to hide his face.
Claire?
So, who's Charlie Boyle?
-Claire, let me explain. -Explain?
Then it's true.
Just what was all of this? Was it one of your experiments?
Were you making a study of the local culture?
-No, I... -Then I guess
you were just having a laugh at my expense.
Imagine, me thinking I could teach you.
Why did you do this to me?
'Cause I'm a big fat liar.
(RUMBLING)
I also left the particle accelerator on!
Get off the ice!
Get off!
Get off the ice!
(LOUD BUZZING)
CHARLIE: Get off the ice!
ANNOUNCER: Please remain calm. Do not venture onto the ice!
Get off the ice!
That's it. This game's postponed until we can repair the ice.
You did this?!
Two minutes left, and we were this close.
This close!
We would've won this game.
You mean, we're not gonna win?
This is bad, Coach.
Very bad.
Thanks, kid. You probably just cost me my job.
I never want to see you again.
ANNOUNCER: The game has been suspended.
Please check with the ticket office
for the rescheduled date and time.
(TELEPHONE RINGS)
-Hello? -CHARLIE: Claire?
-(SCOFFS) -Claire!
Claire!
(TELEPHONE RINGS)
CHARLIE: Claire!
(RINGING)
(TELEPHONE RINGS)
CHARLIE: Clai...
WOMAN (ON P.A.): Also, I would like to inform...
(STATIC)
CHARLIE (ON P.A.): I would like to inform all students
that Chaz Anthony, also known as Charlie Boyle,
wishes to apologize to everyone at Franklin.
Mostly, I want to apologize to my friends.
You're the best ones I ever had. Please forgive me. Thanks.
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
Well, if it isn't the con artist formerly known as Chaz.
I never meant for anything bad to happen.
So, you just wanted to make us look stupid
for your own sick, twisted pleasure.
But not for anything bad.
CLAIRE: Come on, guys.
Hey, and that was pretty funny with the announcement, you know.
Hey!
What are you reading?
Breakaway.
I'm immersing myself in fictional characters.
-They can't get mad at you. -I love Breakaway.
Ooh, is that the one where Zoron goes to Mars,
and saves Queen Schloff from the Argolinks?
No, that's February.
This is the one where Zoron finds, uh, subatomic particles
and how they're connected to a mysterious quantum force.
Oh, yeah. You know, that's an old one.
But you know something?
That's actually based on something that happened.
It was, uh, Geneva, 1997.
The Swiss scientists were able to split a photon.
And even though the particles are six miles apart,
whatever one does, the other one does
exactly the same thing.
Cool!
You know, if we split our graviton,
we could study its quantum force,
And maybe unlock the secret as to how it works.
And then...
BOTH: Defy gravity.
Let's get to work.
Two-seven, three-seven, and the output level is 999.
Okay.
Now, this chip has 33 anti-gravity halves.
And yours has the prototypes.
Why the rubber coating? They all act like superballs.
It's just for protection. And when I press this button,
whatever mine does, yours can do the same thing.
Here we go.
One... two... three...
(BUZZING)
(LAUGHING)
-Hey, Charlie? -Yeah?
Stop hittin' yourself in the head.
Hey, uh, Charlie, are you ticklish?
(LAUGHING)
Okay!
All right, here we go.
The windup and the pitch!
(HUMMING DECREASING)
(HUMMING STOPS)
-Do you know what this means?! -The Nobel Prize!
No. It means I can make amends for all the damage I've done.
What are you talking about?
Well, with what we just discovered,
I figured out a way to help Northern beat Rumsen.
And then they'll win the championship,
and Claire's dad can keep his job,
and my friends will be happy with me again,
and maybe...
Claire might like me again, too.
A little.
Maybe.
All I know is, is that I've let everybody down.
And if I get a chance to make it right,
I gotta take it!
Well, wait, wait a second.
First of all, you haven't let me down.
You saved me!
Charlie, I could never have done this without you!
You're more than my assistant.
You're my friend.
Thanks, Doc.
But I gotta go.
Why are you here?
I need help.
(SCOFFS) You got that right.
I figured out a way to help the team tonight,
keep Rumsen from cheating,
give our guys a chance to win.
Why, so you can look good?
No. So Northern can finally beat Rumsen.
So your dad can keep his job.
I'm doing it for everybody.
Don't do us any favors.
Why don't you just leave us alone...
Chaz?
I just wanted to make things right.
My name's not Chaz.
It's Charlie.
Charlie Boyle.
I can't do it alone.
Yeah! Yeah!
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to Northern Arena!
This is base ops. I need a go
no go on Operation Rack Rumsen.
Skates is go, ops.
Video?
Roger that.
Blades?
I would like it to be known
that I am here under extreme protest,
And I'm only doing this so my father doesn't wind up
stage managing the Ice-Capades.
DEION: I'll take that as a go, blades.
Skates, Rumsen bus should be in target range...
now.
Roger that, ops.
Right. Okay, you guys, let's move out!
(CHEERING)
Video, move into position.
Video's in place, ops.
Roger, video.
-Hey, Deion. -Hey, Charlie.
-How's it going? -Video's a go.
-Where's blades? -CLAIRE: Right here.
Claire, you look great!
Let's just hope this works.
Is it me, or did it just get colder in here?
Mike, you know they're comin' after you.
First sign of trouble, I'm pullin' you out!
You just try and do that!
Houston, we have face-off!
ANNOUNCER: And now, the face-off
for the re-scheduled Central Conference Championship
between the Rumsen Raiders and your Northern Lights!
How's this supposed to work again?
We're going to control key players on Rumsen from here.
How is that possible?
I've implanted microchips
in the skates of Ryder, Stoker and Cross,
the three main players who give up the Rumsen Rack.
Now, each microchip
is infused with trillions of graviton halves,
like the super-balls I showed you.
Corresponding microchips with other graviton halves
will be in our skates. Now, whatever our skates do,
their skates will be forced to do.
Monkey see, monkey do!
-Exactly. -Isn't that... cheating?
We only need to keep Rumsen from cheating.
Our guys can do the rest.
Now, when the time comes, Deion will flip the switch,
activating the particles, and we're on.
And I helped you get a "C" in science. (CHUCKLES)
You sure did a number on this lab.
Won't that professor guy care?
Nah. I'll have it back to normal after the game.
Besides, I've arranged his schedule, he'll be gone all day.
And he's never here during hockey games.
-What's going on here? -Okay. Almost never.
Charlie! This has gone way too far!
I looked the other way when you almost destroyed
the accelerator, but I can't do that again.
I told you I had to do what I had to do.
No. This has gotta stop, and it's gotta stop right now.
-I thought you were on my side! -You know I'm on your side.
But you're putting everything we've done in jeopardy.
And I've always been about science first.
Ahead of what?
You can solve all the mysteries in the world,
but what would it mean without friends?
Nothing.
The chance to make up for all the selfish things I did...
to help my friends...
That means everything in the world to me.
So please, help me.
I'm sorry, Charlie. I can't be a party to this.
But wait!
Chaz! I mean, Charlie.
We got some action here.
Odie, tight up.
They're going after Mike! Omar, you're in!
Mike, get off!
Okay, guys, get ready. We gotta stop the Rumsen Rack.
Deion, flip the switch.
(HUMMING)
Take...
that!
Yeah!
Penalty box!
Yeah!
This is it! Power play! Stop number two!
Number two!
Deion, give me the other chip!
Here. I'm stoker. You're Ryder.
Let's rock.
(HUMMING)
Let's go!
PUBLIC: Whoa!
(LAUGHTER)
(DEION LAUGHING)
Dance with me.
-Let go of me! -No, you let go of me!
ODIE: Cross is leaving the box.
He's out of control!
Do something!
-He's heading straight for Mike! -Quick, the other chip!
Deion, where's the chip? Shake it, roll it,
-anything! -I can't find it!
-Mike! -(SCREAMING)
-What are you doing? -I have the other chip!
Aah! Are there any brakes?
Doc!
Hey. Hey, whoa, whoa!
Hey! Whoa, we're too light!
Hey! Hey! Whoa!
We did it!
We defied gravity!
MAN: Go, go, go, go, go!
(HORN BLOWS)
Yeah!
It's the electricity!
We must've reversed the charge of the gravitons!
They're repelling against the positive charge of the Earth!
ANNOUNCER: The final score... Northern one, Rumsen nothing!
Coach, you are gonna be here a long time, my friend.
A long, long time.
Yeah. That's what I call publicity.
Oh, yeah! (LAUGHS)
I'm proud of you.
Okay, I'll take Rudis.
I'll take Smithson.
Then I'll take Van Bonn.
Man, you're sticking me with him?
Come on, what's wrong?
Look, I'm gettin' good,
And I'm learning. Look. It's good, huh?
That's right. And today he's learning on your team.
MIKE: Hey, Boyle!
Hey, Mike.
Hey, listen, if you want us to get off the ice, then...
We're thinking about slapping the puck around a little.
Okay. We'll just clear out. Come on, guys.
We need somebody to play against...
if you're interested.
Us?
Me?
We heard about what you did.
Thanks.
-How'd you find out? -The coach.
How did he?
So...
maybe I talk in my sleep.
Okay, but on one condition.
Name it.
You get Krickstein.
Uh...
okay.
What? What's wrong?
Come on! Hey...
If you want, I can float.
All right.
Come on, guys, let's go!
Pass! Over here!