999, what's your emergency?
They're having a hospital, I'm sorry I'm telling you!
Let it haunt you.
But we're in.
So focus on you.
That's good!
That's a bell!
We'll go back into the backroom.
Who are you?
Oh, don't you look acer than that dress!
Yeah, look at you, very pretty!
No visual, repeat, no visual, a gym aware.
This is all bloody wedding!
You can't have done a runner already!
Shell flag's almost up, Liv.
We're getting looks.
I've got him.
Looks like he just snuck off with a quick consummation.
I've got a big shiner.
How many guests are dying there?
At least 40.
It'll be easy to yank him out on his own wedging.
Yeah, let's just...
Frying Asian beers with petrol, wouldn't I?
Can you isolate him?
Hey!
Negative.
We need to make a decision, this isn't going to get any prettier.
Shit.
Kerry Mandrake, sent her down for spousal GBH.
We've been spotted.
Stole for 60 seconds!
No, in 60 seconds they'll have stomped our heads into the floor.
Come on, boys.
All right, let me know if they're coming, yeah?
They're coming.
Okay, just follow my lead, all right?
Hey!
Massive congratulations, Bob. Both having a good time, yeah?
Yeah, great, yeah.
Amazing.
This is Frank, I'm drinking.
Yeah, it's just me and the wife can't work out how we know you.
Well, you don't, Angela.
We've just moved back from Australia.
Yes, really, yeah.
Oh, Kate, you said we could get crashed.
It's all right.
Fucking cops!
Back off, back off!
Now, take it easy, mate.
You're going to regret anything you do.
Anything we do, we're not even going to remember.
Back off!
Congratulations to Jimmy and Michelle from all of us on the Friday Street Nick.
Now, you two don't spoil a bird, do you?
Well, what I'm really looking for is the father of the bride.
Where are you, Vinny?
Oh, now, Vinny, I'm on a little bit of a
myth not to get an invite to this little shindig
after our family's history.
Dearings, I've put every twig of your family tree in the clink.
I'm so thrilled to be able to nip in the boat yet another union
because your new son-in-law, Jimmy Webb, is under arrest
on suspicion of the murder of Samina Hassan.
Go quietly.
You'll all wake up in the morning with nothing but a hangover.
Get back! Get back!
Call me!
Kate!
Come in.
Let's drink you in.
Night, Vin.
Get up!
I didn't torture. I was on my stag night.
Yeah, but you went dark, didn't you, Jimmy?
Just in time to nip off and get a few bits like petrol and matches.
So, on to the Down Syndrome case.
And I gather we have another promising lead,
which you so graciously tested me at 4am.
Always a bit more than promising, sir.
Lucy Cook was a member of the Stage Wings Drama Company.
They were devising a play at her day centre.
Now, we're two come to belongings and discovered this.
A copy of the play, and on the front page, LC loves Captain Brown Bread.
We're sending a detective to interview the group,
keeping an eye out, of course, for anybody
who matches up to Dr Peep's criminal profile,
which I'm sure you've all digested by now.
Mum, I'm not having a go, but...
It's a profile. It's not a 3D printer.
Now, as for White, well, I'm afraid it can only be speculation at this stage,
but for me, he picks his girls because of a severe sexual trauma,
likely in his adolescence, which is why he'd be smart to do a search
of any suspicious death or Down Syndrome girls up to their early 20s.
We've already covered that, Doctor.
You've covered the last 15 years. I'm telling you to do the last 50.
And, I'd hurry. The gap between Jocelyn Wade and Cathy Calvert's abduction
is a massive acceleration.
He's missed his fix, so he's agitated.
Volatile.
I've, er, designated our assignments. Connie's got printouts.
Move fast. Doctor's orders.
Wearing a skirt like that doesn't count if you score.
You should be disqualified.
I can't compete.
Shut up and keep your eyes off that rear view.
But he's still staring at us.
My phone is only supposed to be a few days.
Tell me about it.
Oh, are you telling? Right, yours is the only place that we could play the volume.
At a full tilt.
Boot him.
There are certain conversations that I can't have with him.
Like what?
Like any.
Ah, God, Jesus, Viv, you know, since one
pass I've cut right down on me, Karstner, James,
but 24 hours cleaning this up, might as well have sucked off a chimney.
No!
So, it's looking like your fire starter has
poured petrol through the cat flap and whoosh.
Cat's survived, Joy.
Bookage has had zero warning.
Organ's too overdone to tell him the smoke got off first.
All the flames is tragic. It's fucking tragic.
Press conference in five minutes, ma'am.
There's roadworks on Hadley Avenue. We're gonna have to bomb it.
Joy's the words, Jonah.
Right, I'm gonna need a plus one. Any volunteers?
My daughter-in-law saw the best in everyone.
Even the Manchester Metropolitan Police.
Despite the hardly surprising revelations of
racism in the very marrow of their institution.
If there was anything, please, please tell us. Thank you.
We are doing laps around the clock to find who did this.
But, Moutheners, won't speed that up, any.
I ring you lot three times a week when the shop gets vandalised.
You can't even bother coming any more.
Yeah, so it's hard to be too thankful that you finally decided we're worth helping.
Clive, for your own safety, cease and desist, OK?
Oh, why are you a nun now?
Come on, sip a bowl of peculiar so I can ask you about the arson.
Seriously, Clive, you're practically pissing on a grave.
I won't piss on that tight cow if she were on fire.
He dicks still out.
Very good.
Watch and copy every single movement the
other's making like you're looking in a mirror.
Adam.
Adam, tell this seriously.
All right, everybody.
We've got a visitor.
Detective Tanner's here to ask you a few more questions about Lucy.
It's Patrick. He did it.
Adam, watch it. We've discussed this.
He never listened.
What? No. How many times it was my stag do?
I don't remember where I was at 3am.
Be a shit stag do if I did.
You're a known member of the British Democratic Action Force
and you've just married into the family founders of the movement.
And you've done this before?
To her father-in-law's mosque?
Yeah, an empty mosque.
Is this me?
Eh, I want him out, not dead.
Then you're released from prison one week before this happens.
Exactly, so I wouldn't be so thick to get caught on camera, would I?
We went to half-moons for some lap dances, then blackout.
And if all you've got is some skinhead, then I'm laughing.
And, frankly, why would we bother going after
one packet when there's 15 of them five doors down?
Shut your mouth!
Done. Got this with Majid Hassan's phone.
Clyde Bradley reckons he found it in the
alley behind the house the night of the fire.
Right, and he was howl-pissed when he told you?
If Majid thinks we're questioning his statement, everything will go south.
We just need to slip it in, simply, economically.
There's no point in dressing at all, Paul.
We've had the right to ask.
You've no idea how sensitive this culture can be.
Really?
What about that time when me, you and Haddie went to that pub at Christmas
and we ordered a mulled wine,
but you giggled when Haddie ordered a red bull and a dessert.
He ducked me for that.
No, he ducked me up because he wouldn't give him a blowjob until he'd met your mum.
After two dates.
Silla, I'm Detective Sergeant Joy Frees.
My sincere condolences.
Can we just get on with it, please?
Get something.
Adam and Lucy were both in the Romeo and Juliet take-off, we did.
Adam can get fiction and reality a bit confused.
We found this on a copy of your script.
LC loves Captain Brownbread.
Mean anything to either of you?
No, sorry.
No. Lucy had loads of crushes, loved attention.
I miss her.
Do any of these men look like the suspect that you saw outside your house
before you left for work?
I'm not being funny, but they already do look alike.
No rush, no.
We, um, we stumbled across your phone this morning.
Any idea how you might have misplaced it and when?
I can't even think.
It's been a pretty rough 36 hours.
Yeah, of course. God.
Can't even imagine.
It's just that in your statement you said that you didn't leave the shop
and it was actually found behind your house on the night of the attack, so...
My statement?
What are you trying to get at?
It's just a question. It's not like you're a suspect or anything.
A suspect?
No, not a suspect. Just a person of interest.
You're telling me you think I had something to do with killing Samina
when you have a guy, a white guy or so?
What's happened to Mr. Hassel?
Mr. Hassel's phone was found by a witness outside the house.
We just asked him how I got there.
The fuck's saying this is...
She don't deserve this.
Look, I'm...
I'm 70 months off an upgrade,
so I dropped the phone in the skit behind the shop.
And I was going to say it got nicked so I could claim for a new one.
Dad, I'm sorry.
It's not that much money to see.
Oh, we're not done.
Your sergeant just declared my son a person of interest
after questioning him without a solicitor.
How is that one to play out?
I don't just view asking how Hassel's phone got into the alley,
but both of you circling round him when this man is our prime suspect.
And who leaked this on Twitter?
Mum, the reporters are asking about Nazi cake cakes. Any comment?
Tell them it tasted so damn good, Mary Berry would have gobbled it down
and done the goose step.
Well, why camouflage a legitimate line of investigation?
We both thought they'd be oversensitive to formal questioning.
No, I thought, Mum, it was my fault.
What about Jimmy Webb?
Well, we didn't have enough to hold him.
Mum, we've got sources covering all main fascist groups, including Jimmy's,
and normally there'd be trophy chatter by now, but they're picking nothing up.
That's a first man, and I don't ever want to quote Jimmy Webb,
but why would that lot bother with Mina when there's a much larger Asian family
right next door?
Wrong cat flap.
Viv. Viv.
What if it wasn't race hate?
We just assumed it was because of the haircut and the area.
It could be a more personal motive.
Mina was a teaching assistant.
Well, that's how we've got on.
I mean, what if Mina wasn't even the target?
What if it was Majeed?
I don't know.
Ask around, then quiz Majeed and his dad.
Make them understand our thinking.
So, what are you going to do next time at Top Notch Constable Office, your advice?
Take it, Mum.
I can't stand here.
I've got to stay, please.
Let's go.
I should have asked you straight up about your phone.
I apologise.
Oh, and then this has been released as evidence.
It was found in your bedroom.
I thought you'd want it.
So, if it wasn't race, what else is there?
We've been hearing Samina was quite a vocal feminist within the community.
Oh.
Any light you can shed on that for us?
Such as?
Come on, Dad, they mean the mosque.
Samina made noise about women being allowed on the committee.
Her and Dad would stay up all night talking about it.
I'd wake up and they'd be having a massive row.
I could never keep up good at it.
She wanted to organise a demonstration.
She didn't even have a chance to.
Print off the leaflets.
Sorry.
Can you answer?
In Malmhasan, do you think her stance might have
been seen as controversial or inflammatory, even?
She helped Samina It's Theresa, yeah?
I'm Theresa.
Alright, Theresa.
There is a man out there who wants girls like you,
dead, and bobbing up and down in the Riverlight apples.
Now, I'm sorry, but we need you all to be scared of this guy.
Yes.
We are.
You tease, you're absolutely a little bit.
Hello? Is that a student's dad?
Tea.
So what's going on between you and him?
No, I'm just saying, you must have a few years of prostate value left.
There's no heat to lean on your head.
Give me one. Yeah, so I was just thinking, right, I've
just got to break it to you all very gently.
For real, love, now!
Tea, give me one.
Relax, relax. I'll put the phone down for us, then. Anything.
Shit.
Hello?
Fuck.
Erm...
I want more tea, something.
Erm, yeah. Er, two cokes, then, please.
I want a pint.
No, I'm not having a pint.
OK, then, I will tell everyone that you took me in my party phone.
So, you're saying, the day that Lucy went missing,
she was crying on the payphone to Patrick.
How do you know what was Patrick?
Lucy was my friend.
Tapped in brown bread.
Brown bread.
She meant brown beard.
Shit for bring.
Patrick.
Just got off the phone from the bookies. Big tip.
Work tip, obviously.
Manager told us that last Thursday he had a big row in the box
and saw Jimmy Webb chasing out an Asian guy, saying he's going to kill him.
Well, which Asian guy?
Which do you think?
Oh, no! No!
First you wreck her engagement, sick of him in prison.
Then you smash her wedding.
Fuck her running, you'll be a clump out your spine.
I'll threaten my boss one more time.
You'll spend your honeymoon being
finger-banged by women uglier than your mother-in-law.
Fucking pigs!
Give me all these handcuffs now!
Jimmy! Jimmy!
Ergh!
We've witnesses saying you were arguing with Majeed House San
in a bookie's toilets two days after being released from prison.
Why?
Stand at the bog out.
You threaten Majeed's life. A week later, Taos gets torched.
Simple maths, Jimmy.
All right. OK.
We help people out, yeah, you know, with cash flow sort of thing.
Yeah, I think you mean loan-sharking.
I do it down the bookies because the in-laws
might not like some of the clients we help out.
I mean, this stuff isn't even me, but, you know, I fell in love.
Her dad won't accept me unless, you know, I converted.
When did you loan Majeed money?
Michelle did.
Said it was after 12K to pay off some gambling debts, yeah, right.
She only gave him five, but then he kept palming her off, he wouldn't cough up.
With interest, he owed about 20 by the time I came out.
We had a wedding to pay for.
Did he pay you back? Where were you?
You'd better start having flashbacks, or it'll
be more than an extortion charge you're facing.
I was in the bogs at half-moons.
I got a handjob.
I was twatted. It took a while.
Of who?
It was my stag night.
Shit had been late since noon.
She said her name was Marlene.
She was black.
Please don't tell Michelle.
Black? Bravo.
Be more specific.
Shit.
Well, there's a memory of God, you know, shed
long dark hair, spandex, miniskirt, big tits.
And then there's like a flash image, which
has been sort of fucking with me a little bit.
She might have had some sort of deformity or something.
Deformity?
A dick.
Please don't tell Michelle.
I don't got that pint out of you then, did he?
Why didn't you tell us that Lucy called you the day she went missing?
She didn't.
Captain Brownbread.
OK.
Where were you the night that Lucy went missing?
I loved those kids.
Yeah?
How much did you love them?
Don't be so disgusting as if I'd ever even dreamed...
Even what?
Her, do you know?
Lucy was raped.
And drowned.
I'll show you photos of her dead, cold dug-up body.
Just so you can see it before and after.
Now, I don't ever want to see them forwards again, what he does, what he tells...
No, please, I didn't know. Not until he heard those other two.
Yeah.
Who, Patrick?
Her...
Her boyfriend.
What? Wait, no.
No one we've spoken to has been here.
No one we've spoken to has ever mentioned a boyfriend who?
The first day I met Lucy, she told me she loved me.
It got so bad she wouldn't even believe me when I told her that I was...
That I'm... gay.
She was devastated.
Then she, er...
She told me that she found another bloke.
Somewhere like me.
That made me nervous.
I saw him pick her up in a van.
I saw a van.
White transit.
He looked scared when he saw me.
You saw him?
You saw him and he didn't stop him, he was suspicious.
What do you think?
But he got her back safe. She said he made her happy.
I mean, who was I to judge?
She was in your care.
I couldn't face hurting her again.
So she rang me at the...
It's day cos he said he dumped her.
She said she wanted to kill herself.
I said I'd meet her at my local for a drink.
She never showed.
And you didn't step forward with this when she went missing.
I was going to, but then they pulled her out of the river
and I thought that she topped herself.
But who'd feel better knowing that?
How do you think they would feel if they knew I let one of them die?
I couldn't.
I'd lose my job.
Your job?
Lucy Cook.
Jocelyn Wade.
Very close to a third.
You had days to come forward with this.
And you knew, you knew he was still out there.
You knew.
They were good fit, but I said to get the black ones.
Yeah.
Shirt's OK, though, yeah?
Yeah, shirt's fine.
Well, Tess is right.
We'll get out for another pair in black.
Out there?
At the cast-off?
And you're here because...?
I invited him and he's staying for two, which is going to be tough.
Come on, Tessa, let's go upstairs and tell Caddy the dinner's almost ready.
I'm not first, yeah?
Would you rather I pissed off?
No.
It's not a few being useful.
But using Tess and Mum to get back over the mat.
Bit cheap.
They wanted me to meet Cathy.
Call 999.
Check Tess and Cat and Mum. Call 999. Check Tess and Cat and Mum.
Go home, Diana!
Tell her who I am, Cat.
Please, I didn't know.
Pop and tell you, those are the two of them.
I'm here.
My boyfriend.
Wait, no.
One sec.
No one we've spoken to has ever mentioned a boyfriend who...?
Laurie, what does this look like to you?
Like every single night for the past couple of weeks.
I'm not whining for a fuck here, Viv.
I need a second opinion and you promised me yours an hour ago.
Not every night.
And it wasn't you who didn't bat an eyelid when you wanted to
turn our tidy cellar into this stinking soundproof spaceship.
He was working his tits off to prove that it was worth it.
They're going to pour or what?
OK. Radio on out for the college.
They want it street, catchy, unforgettable.
Heart beat, basically.
Probably shite. Write yourself.
Ready?
Mm-hm.
Oh, Laurie, that's not shite.
That is not shite.
Should I? Should I? Let's go on.
Go do it, go. Just one more time.
F sharp.
Yeah?
How do you know about F sharp?
Oh, I know F sharp.
It's better.
I think it's better.
I like it.
I like it too, yeah.
Mm-hm.
Do you like this?
I'll save you the olives.
But the Rieuxker doesn't stand a chance.
Isn't your girlfriend just full of surprises?
How come Kathy's family never heard of you?
What, you've met her family, yeah?
Alfredo Delgani. One year out of your offenders.
Salfa?
Clearly not.
Now, humour me.
Where were you the dates that Lucy Cook,
Jocelyn Wade and your good lady were abducted?
Are you mad?
What, me?
Give her some dates?
Match, ten for Lucy.
Sitting retakes.
Yeah, six Cs, three Bs, no Cs.
Check, next.
Jocelyn Wade, 2nd of September.
I was playing chess, and I won every single round
to raise money for spacky kids from my foster home.
Well, you can check their phones, they loved it.
I'm no suspect.
I've worked in an office, you know, to fuck the lodgers.
Look, don't charge him, Dinah.
I mean it'll fuck his life up again.
Go on.
Go on, see him.
Can't blame her for not telling her family if.
They reckon.
We've all put our neck in the noose for this kid.
So there's no going back.
We've never taken anything at face, Farley, before.
Cathy can't be the exception.
Now Patrick the Welland's alibi has got some legs.
He said he went to meet Lucy at the Blue Anchor pub the night she went missing.
That's a gay pub. Patrick's a regular there.
Now look, here he is.
8.04pm, March 10th.
Now there's only one camera by the front door,
but that same night, he went home with the landlord.
Same again with the other girls.
If he is gay, it doesn't really fit with anything in the profile.
What, is there a rule book?
Yeah.
Gay serial killers only ever target gay men.
Dharma, Nielsen.
I'm having him.
His alibi holds up.
He knew about the van, which means he saw him.
We don't want to alienate a star witness.
Star witness?
He didn't just turn a blind eye.
Two girls died.
God knows how many more.
Are you saying it's not him?
No, of course I'm not. I'm saying it's unlikely.
Your captain.
My captain.
I'm sorry. I'm so...
Scared of losing your job, Patrick.
You'd better be waking up screaming, boy.
I swear to God you'd better be carrying this guilt-like cancer till you croak.
So one question.
Do we want the same thing, Patrick?
Out loud, you streak of piss.
I want to help catch him.
I pray that's the only thing we'll ever have in common.
Mr Llewelyn.
Right, good news is, we found Marlene.
That deformity is a stonker.
She was a giggle, actually.
Check out that cleavage.
Can't blame you.
That Adam's apple, though.
Can't quite get how you missed that.
Your wife open-minded, Jimmy.
Please.
Look, this is lifetime shit. Don't wreck it.
Show it to me again.
I'll tell you anything that I can.
Wait, wait, wait.
Why would he get caught on camera unless he wanted to be seen?
We know that, tWitch.
Shit.
All stars girls, for thinking outside the box.
And for astonishing bigotry.
A fucking mask.
Babe, ma'am, just play it out.
Majeed kept his shop door locked so he could easily
sneak out the back and peg her to the petrol station.
He makes damn sure he's seen getting the petrol,
pours it in through the cat flap, and is in
such a rush to get back, he drops his phone.
From a bank job, four years ago near Elderwood Avenue.
You can get him for less than a grand.
What in there, Jonah?
How do you know it was me, ma'am?
It's got a very distinctive walk.
Don't let anyone tell you you're different.
Cheers, Jonah. I owe you one.
That and the B.O.
Motive.
Majeed's paying off mega gambling debts, so he borrows money from Jimmy's wife.
And he knows he hasn't got a prayer of paying it back.
When Jimmy gets out of prison, Majeed knows he's on borrowed time.
So, Majeed sets fire to his wife for the life insurance,
and gets to keep the money by framing Jimmy.
And we link arms and yellow brick road it to McLaren's office,
and present him with this.
Based on what?
A tick.
I'll never say disappointed, Majeed.
Why didn't you tell us that Jimmy had reason to set your house on fire?
Don't look at him! Look at me.
My dad can't know.
You don't know what he's like.
You saw Freddie, your dad, that you'd let your wife's killer go free.
I'm sorry.
Sorry goes down much better for me with the chase.
I say two years for perverting the course of justice,
and I'll ensure that you get the same room
as Jimmy with the same view at the same time.
Lovely.
Ta.
Wait!
I did it.
Come again.
There's a mask in a concrete,
installed biometric thumbprint safe,
hidden under a towel at my shop.
You'll be needing this.
But I want a word with my solicitor.
In Brighton.
Mother, take him back up.
Keep coming. Keep coming, Tic-Tac-Tac.
Does he see you?
Doesn't look like we need his thumb, but not for trying.
Worthable shit.
Keep coming. Give him your wag.
Not murdered!
Marded!
In the name and fulfilment of Allah's Holy Word!
Allah! Allah! Allah! Allah! Allah! Allah! Allah! Allah! Allah!
Time to get him.
A bereaved husband to religious psychotic.
In Audre-laurent-o-re?
That's a bit rich, even from you, Ashok.
Four weeks ago, his doctor put him on antidepressants
because he said he was having suicidal thoughts.
Now, do you remember that mum from here
smothered a kiss and threw herself out the window?
Same drug, same dose.
You calling in a psychiatric reporter, am I?
Tentress Alan and I are not interested today.
It makes escalating protests and attacks on all sides
with several thousand teams already included.
Detective Chief Superintendent McLaren...
Get back to your desks.
Ma'am, there's a street fight on Pumfield Road
between a gang of Asians and the BDAF.
Mabel and Watch got stuck in, so it's got messy.
Thanks, God.
And McLaren's on the warpath, wants to know
you've saved him a piece of that cake.
Do you think you could text me this shit?
Majeed has sounds brilliantly adapted to everything we've thrown at him.
Frame and Gilly failed, and now he's a majahadi.
That scumbag deserves life or what he's done
not seven months in the puzzle factory.
Oh, fuck.
What do you suggest?
We thought this'd wipe right back in his box with the right motive,
and we get that out there fast before anybody else gets hurt.
Sounds lovely.
How?
Well, Samina's got to have known her
husband's debts were spiral and out of control,
so she must have told someone.
When you were with Majeed, his dad was just staring at Samina's necklace,
and he said something in Urdu, but I tried to Google translate it,
but I can just remember it phonetically.
Muf kuna Samina marim marishuka.
Something, something, Samina, something.
With conviction joy.
Muf kuna Samina marim marishuka.
Do you have a club card?
Muf kuna Samina marimishuka.
It means forgive me, Samina, my darling.
Why don't you ask me in the first place, Sarge?
I... I couldn't work out if it was racist or not.
Leave me alone.
Sir, just one question.
Your son's saying he killed Samina in God's name.
His list is claiming he's crazy.
Do you honestly believe either?
Lads, have you known since they were born,
are a baseball bat away from joining your son in jail?
Or hospital?
Right now.
You're either this community's in-mom,
or you're that boy's father. You can't be both.
Samina begged the young man to grant her a divorce
five weeks before the fire,
but the young man wouldn't grant it.
She'd found out Majid had remorged the house
to raise gambling debts and put a stop to it.
A wonderful, lone confession from Majid.
On tape, both of you.
No, Majid already thinks Emma's screwed up,
but it should be me.
Just me.
I know I can trip him up, ma'am.
Um, it shouldn't have to be a question.
So, Majeed, you don't think you're mentally ill?
No, no, no, no, no, thank God I'm not.
I heard the voices of martyrs on my shoulders,
and they're bidding me the courage of a child of Allah.
You proud, Dad?
Oh, he's far from proud, Majeed.
And if you are hoping to pin your sudden
G-addist urges on meds, it won't work.
Your doctor's given me the dates you started taking them. Here.
Now, how come, before you started taking the medication,
your wife's life insurance policy was signed
while she was on a school trip at U-Rud, Disney?
You know what a lad just whispered to me?
How far must your legs look without heels?
Answer the question.
How did your wife sign the life insurance
when she wasn't even in the country?
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
If, um...
If you really are a G-addist,
don't you think we would have found some hardcore stuff hanging about?
Extremist websites on your phone?
Allah composed me, not YouTube.
Step outside, sister. See the glory.
The blood of my wife has already sown.
In 50 years, your grandchildren will be Muslim.
Though I'm not sure we'd want them.
Awkwardly, fuckers.
May I suggest that we stop wasting valuable time...
Save us.
Is that a slim fit Armani shirt?
How much was that? 100. 150.
Try 200, love.
It's just that we're holding a batch of those last week,
selling two for a tenner down the market.
Saw you coming a mile off.
Still, 200 quid.
Did Samina have to buy it for you? No.
I hope she had to buy you your skinhead mask, didn't she?
Look, it says here on her credit card statement,
look, spending your wife's cash on the mask that you were going to murder in.
That is top five.
She didn't know I was going to.
She bought it herself, for fun.
Come on, Jade.
You took out that credit card behind her back
because you couldn't scrape up the cash.
Love you. Say it, can't do it.
English, Mr Hassan.
Thought you'd be used to answering to women by now.
By all accounts, it's your wife that held the purse stream.
She didn't.
Working day and night, coming home,
leaving your balls by the front door, she'll chop them off on my right.
Oh, you think I'd kill my wife for money?
Your dad does.
You must have been so desperate.
I get it. I get it.
Your whole life, you felt like an embarrassment to others,
but most of all to yourself.
Oh, shit.
Look at that. Ripped off like toilet paper.
Samina probably never laughed at you to your face,
but on behalf of a woman who sounds like a cracking good bird, let me.
Ha, ha, ha! The only thing that bitch was good for was catching hands.
So you did kill her for the money?
Fuck her right, I did!
That didn't arrange a marriage for me.
He just handpicked the door at Rina's part
and I never wanted to put her foot wrong
and she still had the same more than me!
Drop-kicked-yourself into a life sentence.
Don't bother having the last word.
And she's such a hairy fucking god from day one!
Fuck her!
Consider that leaked.
Take a bow, lady! Take a bow!
No, no, no, no, no. These are on me.
Oh, thanks, man.
Do I pick them or do I pick them?
You are not still talking about that car we made to old Maria.
It was a joke!
And what's gone up between you two anyway?
OK, what was it?
Did he finger on you a little or something?
I'm all right.
Tegan, meet my old man.
Mr O'Connell!
I am so sorry.
I am so sorry about what happened on the phone
and about the, er, the thingering thing you just sent.
Did you hear that?
What? My tits off?
Name's Jock, by the way.
We're on brandies. You?
Yes, please. Doubles.
Hey, l'appelle, I'm not having this.
I'm not having it right. I'm not having this any more.
It's just one I'm after, OK?
Thank you.
Hi, Ben Fiddle! Where are you going now?
I'm trying to make a good point!
Clyde! Clyde, you best tell your vocab around me right now
cos I'm about two seconds away from shoving a taser up your arse
and pumping you so full of vaults
you'll feel like you've been fisted by a bylon.
Now go and sit down!
You all right, sir?
She's missing.
You all right? Thanks.
You're very welcome.
You OK?
What else is she keeping quiet?
Go, go.
Get a taxi.