--== McEphie ==-- For latest releases visit moviesnipipay website
Are you trying to be funny?
You love me?
We only just met
and you say you love me?
You should court me first.
Treat me for recess.
Buy me cotton candy,
and let me drink from your water jug.
You should already be waiting by the gate
before the flag ceremony.
You should carry my bag for me
and put your hand on my shoulder when people are watching.
You'll ask me what shampoo I use.
And when I get tagged when we play tag,
you'll be "it" instead of me.
I should be the only girl in your heart.
For my part,
I'll always let you eat from my lunchbox.
Here,
have some peanut oxtail stew.
It's so delicious!
And of course, I'll help you with your homework.
[laughs]
What did you say?
You silly!
What if someone sees us?
Are you crazy?
I haven't even said yes to you
and you're already asking for a kiss?
[laughs]
Where?
Just on the cheek.
We're still young.
[giggles] You're a real troublemaker.
I don't want to.
[laughs]
What?
That's too long.
Three?
Fine, five seconds.
Elsa Mangahas,
Grade three, ylang-ylang!
Oh friends, here we go again!
This, I already learned by rote
Overnight talk wakes my brain
But it wasn't just me I know
We had many "Let's take it slow"
Elsa!
Elsa Mangahas!
Then the end will go
Elsa!
Elsa Mangahas!
"Can we be just friends"?
Elsa!
But no one can stop
my heart that was shaped by the past
Oooh, no more
I am done being stupid
Oooh, Oooh, I'm good to be a girlfriend!
Oooh, Oooh, I'm good to be a girlfriend Wooh!
Oooh, I'm good to be a girlfriend!
[panting]
-Hey! -Come in here.
What's wrong?
Why are we squeezing in here? It smells and it's cramped.
Just hurry up, piglet.
You're so annoying.
You talk too much.
You're not finished answering my slam book yet.
I am.
Nice!
Here.
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
-I want to be a supermodel. -Mmm!
Nuna wants to be a pediatrician.
Facky wants to be an astronaut.
If not,
he wants to be a senior stylist at David's Salon.
If not that,
then a junior stylist will do.
What about you?
What do you want to be when you grow up?
Me?
I want to be...
Happy!
[inhales sharply]
[laughs nervously]
Um...
Let's give a round of applause for Elsa for her wonderful...
Take her away!
[muffled groans]
[yelling indistinctly]
Who told you to come bug me here?
Look at this bitch.
Instead of thanking us for having your back at the reception earlier,
-you're being rude? -Right?
If we weren't friends with the bride, we'd have lost a client.
She asked me to make a toast, didn't she?
Girl, anyone with half a mind,
if given the chance to speak at a wedding,
especially about the bride,
is expected to say good things!
[Elsa chuckles]
I just couldn't believe my eyes till now.
Son of a bitch!
Cynthia?
Getting married?
Do you remember Cynthia's powers?
Her armpit was biological warfare back in school.
We know,
and now everyone at that reception knows as well.
Even the groom's family.
Excuse me!
Hey!
Does he have a brother?
[Facundo] Hey, Elsa.
You didn't have to mention any of that, Elsa.
You should have tried to make the bride feel special.
-Correct! -Why?
What's wrong with what I said?
I only reiterated that,
even though she had body odor and lice when we were young,
she still managed to get married.
Was she not made to feel special?
Did the man file for annulment?
You really are sick in the head.
I'm pretty sure she's heard of deodorant by now.
And she's learned to care about the welfare of the people around her.
The groom might be into it, though.
Right?
-That scent that... -[laughing]
...cuts like a knife.
But hey, look at her now, she's a doctor.
Something good came out of her being bullied in high school.
I'm not aware that bullying is a prerequisite for a successful love life.
Why do you keep ranting about your love life?
We're here for you.
-Right! -Here for me?
-You're here for me? -Yes!
-You guys are here for me? -Of course!
Well, would you make out with me?
Huh?
Will you fondle my breasts?
Will you play with my nipples?
-Would you like us to? -Facundo!
Sure, you're here
but you have your own love lives.
Imagine, girl.
We have our own love lives but we're here.
Besides,
you feel much better when we get together like this.
-I think I heard a cat. -Did you step on one?
-That was me. -Oh, was it you?
Nuna.
Nuna's right. You're amazing.
You're really good, the unforgettable 15 percent.
-Fifteen percent? -[all] Oh!
Fifteen percent, audience impact.
Observers, watchers, bodies to crowd up a set.
Right! For the reactions, for the applause,
in short, people who don't have much going on.
[all laugh]
Funny... 15 percent. 15 percent?
-[all laugh] -It is pretty funny.
Can't you be grateful at least some people are still supporting you?
Even if your love team makes people throw up?
And you, Nuna.
Our photographer that you dated,
you think he won't leave you
when he finds out you snore like a bear?
That's too mean.
-And you, Facundo. -What about me?
Facundo Facky!
You think when your little boy toy graduates,
he won't leave you?
You better watch your mouth, Elsa.
Shut it.
If you must know,
I'm not paying for my boyfriend's education nor am I spending for him.
You offend me. You have a mean streak you better fix that.
[fake sobs]
I'm so ashamed, I have a bad attitude
and I should fix it?
What about your face?
It's so ugly, but do I make you do anything about it?
-You really want to go there? -That's below the belt.
-That's below the belt. Enough. -Sis!
Exactly, below the belt. His face is below the belt.
-Your face looks like wrinkly balls. -Balls? Balls?
-I look like balls? -Sack of balls!
Why? You little shit!
Have you ever seen man balls?
[laughing]
Huh? You've seen balls?
You think this beautiful face looks like balls?
Huh? Go on.
You've seen balls?
You've never had a boyfriend ever.
Have you seen balls?
-I've never seen balls! -Right, right?
-Balls, balls, balls! -You happy now?
-Yes! -I have never seen balls!
I have never had a boyfriend!
Right.
Hey, Karissa! You wanna laugh so loud?
You think this is so funny, Karissa?
You're so happy
because you see Tristan's balls all the time? Huh?
-[Facundo] So mean! -Are you sure he really loves you?
-He was just taking pity on you. -So mean!
Karissa, just because you're round like a ball,
doesn't mean you're on the rebound.
-Oh, my God. -You're really asking for it.
Okay, excuse me.
I know I'm Tristan's first love.
-Correct! -After high school graduation,
he went to the States.
He dated some American girl
but at the end of the day, he came back to me.
-Right! -True!
You've seen it all, huh, Elsa?
You've seen everything...
except for balls.
[all laugh]
Band together, you animals. [laughs shrilly]
You guys are so happy!
Elsa...
What?
Just be happy for her.
At least, love works.
Just not with you for now.
Right, Elsa.
Let it go.
Let go of the hate.
Let go of your jealousy.
Let it go, Elsa.
Let it go.
And when you do,
I'll let you see my...
[together] Balls.
So you'll finally see a pair.
Whenever she sees my face, all she can think of are...
[all] Balls.
Let's go to the restroom.
-There we'll find lots of... -Balls.
-[all laugh] -Balls, balls, balls.
[Karissa] I'm going to piss myself!
I can't hold it anymore.
[all continue laughing]
Please give me a boyfriend.
Balls!
[Karissa chuckles]
What's up with this?
I go to the restroom and you've drank two bottles?
Of course you're going to piss yourself.
You're too freaking happy.
Where are they?
Over there, happy as fools too.
Hi, babe!
You made it.
Come over here.
Damn, I loaded the stuff into the van.
Everything's fine. They're all in the van.
Problem solved.
Good thing Cynthia paid us the full price.
Where are they?
Come on, let's dance.
I can't, I have to drive our minors home.
The hazard lights are still flashing.
Don't miss me too much, okay?
That's impossible. It's only been a second and I miss you already.
I love you so much.
Okay?
I'll go ahead.
It's so good.
[Tristan blows kisses]
Hey, enough of that.
Let's just dance.
I don't want to.
This is about the only thing that touches my lips.
And you want to take it from me.
You know what, friend?
I feel like you don't have a boyfriend because you keep drinking.
I keep drinking because I don't have a boyfriend.
That’s it.
You don't have a boyfriend because you're always drinking.
I'm always drinking because I don't have a boyfriend.
You don't understand.
The reason you don't have a boyfriend is because you keep drinking.
I keep drinking precisely because I don't have a boyfriend.
That's what I've been trying to tell you.
You keep drinking.
That's why you don't have a boyfriend!
I'm only drinking because I don't have a boyfriend.
Like I said.
Keep drinking, and you won't have a boyfriend.
You're trying my patience.
I am drinking because I don't have a boyfriend.
You're trying my patience.
Fuck you!
Damn it.
[laughs]
The reason I don't have a boyfriend might be...
that my mother is a bitch.
Right?
Oh, friend, I didn't mean it that way.
Hey, I didn't mean anything against Auntie.
I meant no disrespect towards her.
It's just an expression, right?
"Son of a bitch."
We say it when we're happy. "Son of a bitch."
When we're angry, "Son of a bitch!"
When you're thinking, you go...
"Son of a bitch?"
When you're scared--
I'm going home.
Hey.
Don't be so serious.
I was just joking.
That's enough.
Let's just dance.
They're over there.
We're having such fun.
Friend!
Friend, don't be so sensitive. You know how I get.
Hey!
Elsa!
Son of a bitch!
Elsa! Where are you going?
Come on, let's dance.
[scoffs softly]
[Elsa] Oh, Elsa...
Don't be such a brat.
There are plenty others who do not have partners.
On top of that,
some of them haven't got a house, or food to eat.
My love! My love!
You can buy cigarettes now!
Fuck, we have money for cigs! My love.
Oh, quickly!
Hey, wait, wait.
Hey, miss, my girlfriend gave me that.
Hey, you already gave that to us.
[vendor] Do you like anything?
This here is cheap. Three for a hundred.
Try it on. This here is 50 pesos.
So you'll at least get to buy something.
Here, we still have T-shirts.
[chuckles]
Ma'am,
would you like to browse?
You might like something.
Will you take it?
How much for the queen of hearts?
This one's 450 pesos.
But I'll give it to you for 350.
Buy it, it's cheap.
350 pesos for just a T-shirt?
Well, you see,
that's for two shirts.
These are couple shirts. Wait.
Here it is.
One for you
and the king of hearts for your boyfriend.
Take it.
Fuck you.
Oh! Fuck you, too!
If you can't afford it, don't curse at it.
You'll bring bad luck on my wares.
Get out of here!
Haggle if you don't have enough cash.
Mad woman.
What a bother!
[whimpers]
Elsa!
Look...
Even the cockroaches are getting some action!
What about you?
[Karissa] Hey!
Hey, Elsa!
Really? We're down to cockroaches?
That's your current standard?
You're getting on my nerves.
Get in.
I don't want to go with you.
Just go ahead.
If you get kidnapped, we won't have ransom money for you.
Ransom?
Huh?
I am not worth much.
Whatever. Up to you.
There are rumors of men on motorbikes committing crimes in this area.
She stopped!
Facky, get her in.
Elsa, come on.
Let's go.
-[Elsa vomits] -[all exclaim]
Be careful.
-Be careful. -[Karissa] Lucky it's not in your car.
[Facundo] Help her.
[Karissa] Be careful, she's drunk.
-[Facundo] Okay, watch yourself now. -[Karissa] It stinks!
[Karissa] Smells like vomit.
There.
[Karissa exclaims]
So, the gig at the orphanage tomorrow.
[Nuna] Right, the gig at the orphanage.
Facky, you'll be the tour guide as usual.
Okay.
Karissa, 45 sandwiches for the kids.
Yup.
Let's bring Elsa along.
-[Nuna] Ah, yes, let's do that. -Mmm-hmm.
Yeah, let her come with. She's fun to be around.
Oh, here it is.
Elsa, you're home. We're here.
This is you.
I'll walk you to your house. Come on.
[photographer] Go with her.
[Facundo] I'll do it. I'll go with her.
Come on, Elsa.
Let's go.
Oh, my God. Back so soon?
Huh?
Why are you back so soon?
She said she'll manage.
So why did she get in the car with us?
Was she afraid of the men on motorbikes?
No.
What then?
She was annoyed
that even criminals had partners.
[all laugh]
She's in too deep.
Oh, my god.
Jesus, she's turning on criminals too.
What is she going to compare herself to next?
Cockroaches.
Cockroaches. Oh, my God.
[woman giggling] Aw, careful.
[man] Right there. You like it there?
[giggling continues]
-Right there. -Oh, my God!
[woman exclaims]
-[woman laughs] -[man moaning]
You are such an idiot.
I'm helping you wash your underwear.
You won't get any help from me next time.
What, you're going to cry? Because of you underwear?
-Why? Who said I was crying? -Look at you, you're tearing up.
I wasn't really going to.
What are you saying? You're almost crying.
God, you complain too much.
-Just hurry up. -So I don't have the right
-to speak up in this house? -You're taking too long.
You're doing it over and over. You'll never finish at this rate.
-It's the middle of the day-- -[Elsa yelling] What the hell!
I told you.
Finish that already.
Why are you hanging laundry here inside?
Uh...
Mamwah told us
to hang the underwear inside
because they are more expensive than our clothes.
Ah, yes, and our dryer's broken too.
That's why we're doing it by hand.
Maybe you didn't wring it properly.
It's wrung dry! Why don't you try? You talk too much!
Give us a hand!
They're doing their best, sis. I'm sorry.
[Elsa] Whatever!
Where has she gone now, anyway?
Those are your underwear. They're huge.
This house looks like a festival.
Hold this.
[in English] Why, if it isn't my lovely daughter?
Awakening like the morning dew in the middle of the pond.
Ha! Come, baby come!
-[man growls] -[laughs]
Stop it! Stop! Don't, stop it!
Don't, stop it!
Don't stop it!
[exclaims]
[man barks]
Yes.
Meet my lovely daughter,
Elsa!
Not the Frozen,
not the healer,
but the daughter.
Hello, Elsa!
[hisses]
Come inside.
Come.
Come inside.
Come inside...
the house.
[man] Okay, let's go!
Let's go! Let's go!
Let's go inside.
Let's go inside the house!
[all exclaim]
Hi.
[in Filipino] Of course, we're going to sit.
[in English] Is there something wrong?
Oh, nothing. Nothing.
[in Filipino] Elsa! Don't be rude to our visitor.
[Elsa] I'm in the bathroom!
[in English] Oh! Oh, let's go to the kitchen.
-Let's eat me. Let's eat us. -Hmm, I like that.
I'm going to prepare some food for you. Your favorite, huh?
[in Filipino] What are you doing here? Get out of here.
Get out!
Go to the store and buy nothing!
Go buy some Pacencia. I'm running out of patience!
Just do it. Go on. Get out!
You're so vain, you're not even that pretty.
My God.
-[in English] Hey! -Yes?
Hey, you, uh, never mind my daughter, Elsa.
Yes.
She's, um...
She's, uh...
She's not hearing in the morning.
[chuckles] Deaf in the morning, yeah.
-No hearing in the morning. -It's okay.
Just stay focused on me, okay?
Turn around. Yes!
[in Filipino] Dayday! Bing! Cecile! Come in here!
We're going to prepare something for fine dining!
[in English] Twist that.
Okay. First, you're...
I mean, me.
I'm going to hot the container with the eternal flame.
And now,
after softening the meat,
you're going to put the peanuts
and let the sauce turn into...
[in Filipino] Thick. Thick.
[in English] Make it sticky!
Cover until the end of time
and put the vegetables last
so that the vegetables will not comatose easily.
-You know, too much cook? Abused? -It's done!
-Punched? Comatose? -Come here, baby. Try it.
Yes, of course!
-Good? Good? -Mmm!
Delicious, delicious!
-[exclaims] -[laughs]
And now, of course.
And now, let's take a picture with the penished product.
-Hmm, you like the penish? -The penish... [laughs]
Girls, girls.
Girls.
One, two--
[tuts] Oh! Wait.
[in Filipino] This doesn't belong here.
We need to look fresh.
Hey, come on.
-Wait. -There.
Smile!
-[in English] Mmm! Peanut butter. -[man growls and barks]
[in Filipino] Mmm! Peanut bu... Your armpit smells like peanut butter.
Yana.
Continue with this.
Honey, are you leaving now?
Honey.
I cooked early because I know you have an event today.
You know that, right?
Honey, you know that right?
Honey.
That's why I invited Dmitri over.
You know what I mean, right, hon?
Hon.
Honey? Hon, your water bottle's by the shoe rack.
Hon.
Don't forget your water bottle.
Oh!
Oh, Cecile! Cecile!
Cecile! Don't let her out. She can't leave yet.
Don't leave until you've recited step number eight.
-[Elsa] Ma? -Yes!
[in English] Uh, Dmitri!
-Dmitri, excuse me! -Yeah?
-Dmitri, look, huh? -Yes?
My daughter.
My daughter, Elsa, knows the procedure step-by-step
how to cook this because it's her favorite food.
Well, it smells really good.
Really?
Yeah, I know.
[Elsa, in Filipino] Put the peanuts in the mortar.
Grind finely.
Pulverize if possible.
[laughs]
[in English] Dmitri, see? I told you.
She's very smart.
Like me!
[in Filipino] Hon, where are you going?
Take this with you, hon. Elsa!
Go ahead, take it.
Won't you have a few bites?
I said no, Ma.
Hon.
-Even just three spoonfuls? -Karissa and the others are waiting.
Take care!
Happy birthday, Ma!
Thank you!
Thank you, honey!
Hey, come sit beside me.
You might fall off.
[children cheering]
Okay, settle down now. Be still.
Okay, kids. We are here at the Volunteers' Shrine.
Here you'll find the names of the volunteers
who helped rehabilitate SBMA when Mount Pinatubo erupted.
Okay?
Go play but stay close to your guardians.
Yes, sir!
When you hear my whistle, we'll meet at the well. Okay?
Yes, sir!
All right, then. Off you go.
[children] Let's go!
[Facundo] Be careful!
Don't run. You might graze your knees. Be careful!
Kids, don't run!
Jesus!
Don't run, just walk!
Oh. Hey! Hey! Hey!
Tikboy! Don't push others around!
I will punch you in the chin!
[mutters indistinctly]
Watch it, you might slip.
Careful.
[whistle blows]
So? Let's go?
Hey, get up. You're stinking up the bus with your legs wide open.
[groans]
[nun] Stop running. You'll end up in the hospital. That's expensive.
Don't run, you might stumble.
-Sister... -What?
Would you like some?
Yeah, may I?
Looking after kids is very tiring.
[exclaims] Is this alcohol?
It's too early!
Sister, Father gets to drink as early as 7:00 a.m. in the church.
That's for the holy mass. There's a ceremony.
Shame on you.
Drink this.
This is the blood that you need to drink, whatever.
Know that I'm just really thirsty.
[grunts]
Mmm!
Ah?
[laughs] Sister...
I have something to ask you.
But it's a bad thing to lie, right?
That's why everything you're going to tell me has to be the truth.
Fine.
I'm used to telling the truth anyway. It's in the ten commandments.
Sister, are you happy with your life?
Are you okay?
I'm okay.
I'm happy living in service of the Lord.
And spending every moment of my life spreading his greatness and eternal love.
Ah! I think, Sister, you should drink to that.
Here!
[scoffs]
[laughs]
Sister, have you ever had eyes on a man?
Oh, please!
You can't tell lies according to the ten commandments.
Honestly,
I don't remember liking anyone.
Ever since I was young, I always knew I'd be a nun.
Probably, that's why I don't think about those things.
I wasn't focused on it.
Does that mean, Sister, you're still a virgin?
Jesus, Mary, Joseph. Saint Mary, Mother of Mercy, you son of a boogie.
-What kind of question is that? -Answer.
Of course!
[both laugh]
I am a hundred percent virgin.
Never been touched. Never been kissed.
Nothing pointed at. Nothing inserted.
Not even "barely missed." [gasps]
-[chuckles] -What's wrong with you?
So, Sister, what you're saying is...
You never...
liked anybody but there must be somebody that liked you?
-There's someone, right? -You're so annoying!
-There's someone, isn't there? -Yes, there is!
[both laugh]
-Give me that. -Drink.
Who is he?
-Patrosino. -[laughs]
He would always give me sticky rice treats.
Yeah?
During break time.
Boy! That was my snack.
I think even my poop was getting sticky.
-[both laugh] -You're crazy!
Patrosino was such a sweet guy.
-Yeah? -Yes!
Shh! Hey!
-Is he handsome? -Yes.
[both laugh]
-Is he tall? -Mmm-hmm.
I mean he was a basketball player. I was just up to his armpits.
Is he a good baller?
Stop it!
Hey.
Sister,
why didn't you end up together?
He seemed okay. Why did you turn him down?
I mean, there's nothing wrong.
I'm just a little confused.
You're pretty, Sister.
Hey, she's pretty. Let me see! Let me see!
[both laugh]
You're pretty.
You seem smart.
But...
why didn't you hit that?
Maybe I'm just not cut out for romance.
It feels like I am not meant to have other relationships than with God.
That's the truth. I'll have a drink.
But, Sister, you're just a mere human.
You're not a goddess.
You still have earthly needs.
That's why what I really want to ask you, Sister, is...
-do you touch yourself? -How dare you!
-What? -I knew it.
Your questions are very scandalous. This conversation is getting out of hand.
Grisly! Disrespectful! Yes, I tried it once.
-[laughs] -Just once?
I got bored.
I didn't do it again after that.
Not even a few times?
No.
So, Sister, what happens when you feel horny?
-What are you going to do? -You want the truth?
I pray the rosary and I don't let go of it until I feel something--
Extra strong?
Stronger than any force.
Control.
Faith.
Devotion.
High five.
Sister, let's just align. Align, Sister. Align, come on.
Drink up, Sister.
-I think they'll smell this on me. -No, it's fine. It's good.
-Hey, so, Sister... -Mmm!
Relationships aren't just about sex.
Sometimes you just need someone to talk to.
An intimate conversation, don't you agree?
Why,
can't I talk with the Lord?
He may not answer through words
but you will feel it in your heart
and it's much more hardcore.
You know?
You'll get not just mental, physical, emotional,
but spiritual satisfaction, too.
That is true heaven.
Cheers.
Sister, I wish I saw things the way you do.
How so?
All I really want is to have a boyfriend.
No reason, I just wanted to try how it feels.
If someone like you can have suitors, and is likable,
why don't I get to have one?
There, so the truth has come out. You are lonely.
That's not what I meant.
Sex-starved!
Gosh! Sister, you're too much.
I'm just wondering why I can't seem to attract a man!
I think there's plenty to love about me,
I would make a great girlfriend but why does no one like me?
You are lovable, you are likable, you are a good catch
-but nobody wants you! -Ain't that the truth, Sister?
I don't know why
but it's starting to feel as though all the forces of the universe
are coming together to make sure I end up alone.
That's not true.
I believe God is preparing you for the right person.
Think about it.
If he left you in the hands of crooks and deceivers,
wouldn't you be sorry?
You never know, he might be protecting you
so when the time comes to meet the one for you,
you will be ready.
And you will have stayed on the right path.
What do you think? Huh?
Well, Sister...
I must say, I'm really enjoying our talk.
But are you sure about everything you said?
-Nope. -Excuse me?
No. Because it's possible
that the one for you has already passed and you just don't know it.
Ah! Ah, now that's impossible, sister.
I have received no such gift.
Hmm, you see, child,
sometimes,
we have our minds made up about the kind of gift we want to receive.
Its packaging, its height, weight, its color and design,
that we won't recognize it if it arrives in a different package.
We might think it's not the gift we wanted.
But when we open the box and look closely,
alas!
It is exactly the gift we asked for.
Just in a different package.
Huh.
Sister, you're drunk.
May the drunk become barren.
May you be barren.
[laughs]
[both laugh]
Sister, have you ever been hit in the face with a water bottle?
Never. How about you?
You ever been strangled by a steel rosary from the Vatican?
[both laugh]
Sister, drink some more.
This stuff is great, what's this?
Beer.
"Burr."
Say it, "burr."
"Burr."
[both laugh]
Where did the kids go?
Okay, children. We're here at the well to wait for Sadako to eat this rascal.
Just kidding.
Okay, let me explain. Sisters, you may join in, all right?
Bring out a one peso coin and prepare your wishes at this wishing well.
Nobody has ever been disappointed by this well.
All wishes it hears come true.
Yes, for real.
I once had a friend who wished to look like Yassi Pressman.
She threw in a coin and she got the looks of Yassi Pressman.
Another friend threw in a coin and wished to look like Nadine Lustre.
She looked like Nadine Lustre.
Another one threw a coin but she slipped and yelled, "Oh, twat!"
And, well... Don't ask me how that one ended.
But her face was hacked in the middle.
Go on, say your wishes.
Papa God, I wish for a Barbie in Swan Lake.
With her own comb, and with Kelly.
When I get circumcised, I want a bike with a lot of reflecting stickers
with a cool basket and a super awesome horn, just like how trucks blare.
Jesus, I want a complete set of lip tint, Jesus.
All shades and flavors, with flat iron with a curling feature.
I hope it comes with big curlers, Jesus. That's all. Thank you, Jesus.
Oh, oh, oh! And a ring light.
Uh, for me... I'm not sure yet.
Okay, okay. I have one. iPad Pro 12.9-inch
2019 model, 1TB rose gold.
Ah, they don't have it in rose gold. I'm fine with silver and black.
I'm not choosy. You pick for me, no problem.
Apple pencil and a leather case worth 9,000 pesos. Thank you!
Lord, I wish I had a boyfriend now.
I don't want to pray the rosary forever.
I want a boyfriend, a family, a child.
I hope someday, I'll come back here and hear their wishes, too.
Their wishes in life. That's the only thing I really wish for.
My only wish is to have a boyfriend.
To be the answer to someone's wish.
Lord, I want a boyfriend.
I want a boyfriend.
[mouthing silently]
So, sis?
Aren't you overdoing it a bit?
Huh? Do you have cancer?
Let's go.
[Facundo] Hmm.
`[gasps]
Honey.
Drink some water.
I'll prepare something for you. Come and eat, okay?
This wouldn't take long.
Here, honey.
Come, sit here.
Honey?
How was your event?
I'm glad you keep getting projects.
Actually, I plan on resigning
after the next one.
[chuckles]
Baby...
-Good morning. -Good morning.
[sneezes]
Honey.
We're going to the bar. Want to come with us?
No, ma. Go ahead. I think I'll get some rest.
Are you sure?
Happy birthday, Ma.
Thank you, honey.
I'll leave you to it.
Please eat something.
Let's go?
Honey, eat something.
Oh, nice, our new client just confirmed their booking.
You know what to do. I'll take care of the catering,
Facky, you host. Nuna, you take care of design.
Copy.
Why does this one seem rushed with the preparations?
Because it's a funeral, Nuna.
Somebody died, these things aren't planned.
Would you like us to plan yours?
Please don't.
I'm going to host a funeral? For real?
I will resign after this event.
Here's the design.
After this event, I will resign.
But don't worry,
I've found a new job.
I'm actually signed up to start.
I'm even over-qualified.
Where are you going to work?
A job where people won't get to rub in that I'm alone.
A job where I don't have to think about needing anyone else
because in this job, I really should be by myself.
What job is that?
Toll girl!
[all laugh]
Toll girl!
Toll girl?
Hey, Elsa.
I cannot allow you to be a toll girl, okay?
Don't you know it's a health hazard?
Don't you know that? Huh?
You will be prone to sickness.
-That job is prone to sickness, honey! -[exclaims]
Huh?
I can wear a gas mask!
[all laughing]
[Karissa conversing indistinctly]
You'll probably just drink on the job,
and lash out at the passing cars!
You did not think this through! You did not think this through.
You just dove right into some job without knowing what you're in for.
All right, fine,
tell me.
How?
You're going to be a toll girl. How is that, huh?
Go on, tell me how. How?
Where? How?
How? Where?
Where? How?
How will you pee?
How will you pee!
[Elsa] Shit, shit, shit!
Shit, shit, shit!
-[Facundo] Elsa! Where are you? -I'm coming!
Hey, Karissa,
my last event, and it's a wake?
My name is Joyce,
Ms. Manalili's niece.
Our condolences.
Our sympathies.
The truth is, I had to ask someone
because Tita Apple has nobody to arrange these for her.
We're too busy to see to it ourselves.
We have a lot of work.
None of us has the time.
We'll take care of it for you.
-Condolence! -Please don't mind her.
-Is she okay?
Our sympathies.
[Joyce] It's very sad.
My aunt was very pretty.
Intelligent.
But never had a boyfriend, not once.
I suppose it's because she became a teacher.
She had high standards.
Maybe she came off too strong.
I remember she'd always get visits from her students.
I know she's a great teacher,
sweet and very thoughtful.
But, that must be it.
Some girls don't get to have suitors.
Not cut out for having boyfriends or a husband.
It's such a shame
because if you think about it,
she has all the characteristics and qualities of a good wife,
or a good mother.
We're grateful she spent her last hours on earth with us.
Please take care of her.
She won't let others take care of things either.
The problem is she lived alone.
And now,
she died alone.
She told me that at the funeral,
all her cross-stitches and her pet shih tzus should be there--
I'll do it!
I'll take care of...
Ms. Manalili's cross-stitches.
We have a lot of work to do before the funeral.
Okay, I'll stay here to see to the guests.
Okay, ma'am.
Tommy!
[sobbing] I'm sorry, ma'am.
I know how lonely your life must have been.
Am I a bad woman?
Ma'am, I ruined you.
Ma'am, I messed things up for you.
I'm sorry.
[sobs] I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Ma'am, sorry.
You're the first and last person to have loved Tommy.
You were the only one.
You were the only one!
I love you.
I just love.
No matter what they say.
I will love you, no matter--
who you are.
I love you.
I just love you.
No matter what they say.
I will love you, no matter--
who you are.
I love you, no matter
[sobs]
who you are.
Lord.
[continues sobbing]
Lord, I know I don't have a boyfriend because...
you're just protecting me.
Nevermind that!
Don't worry about me, Lord.
Quit it.
I want to have a boyfriend.
Let them hurt me.
Let them hurt me and destroy me, Lord.
Can you please make it happen for me?
You know you won't regret it, honestly.
Everything a man could want in the world,
I believe I possess.
I'm a keeper, Lord.
I am a keeper.
I'm very pretty.
You know that.
I'm smart.
I had lots of medals.
And most importantly, I was Most Loyal in Girl Scouts.
That's not too bad.
I'm also talented.
I know how to dance.
I'm good at dancing! Look!
Look how I kill it.
Lord.
I'm a great singer, too.
I've read and watched everything about 50 Shades, too.
I am all warmed up for battle!
This here's for the golden buzzer.
Trust me.
I have police clearance,
NBI.
I'm not a bad person, Lord.
I even donate blood to the Red Cross.
But why? Why do you keep the men from me?
Why does every guy I'm attracted to end up being taken,
or gay, or a cousin?
I'm such a keeper. I am a keeper.
Lord, I'm respectful.
I'm understanding.
I'm patient, supportive if needed.
Hear me out.
Here, here Lord!
You want to go out? Have drinks with your friends?
Sure, go ahead!
Go on, enjoy yourself.
You're busy?
No, it's fine. Take your time. I'll wait for you.
What do you want? You're off to play?
Basketball, DOTA? You'll play DOTA?
I won't bother asking, "DOTA or me?"
because you know I'll be here for you.
I hope you win!
What was that? You miss me?
If you miss me, where are you?
I'll go to you. I am on my way.
If you're still with your buddies,
do you have appetizers?
I'll get the rice cooking.
I'm the best girlfriend. I am a keeper!
I know how to cook peanut oxtail stew.
What would you like? Some ground nuts?
Ground nuts, finely ground, pulverized nuts, Lord.
I want that.
I want my peanut finely ground, Lord, please.
I really just want a boyfriend.
Lord, I want someone who will love me.
Do you know what I mean?
I want someone...
to be there for me
when I'm upset.
I want someone
who will never think of me as an inconvenience,
or a loser.
I want someone who will hold my hand when I'm scared.
Lord, I want someone
who will be by my side when I can't deal with things on my own.
Someone who will tell me the important things
that happen in his life.
Lord, I just want...
I just want one person
who won't bail on me even when I'm fucked up.
Just one person, Lord.
I want someone who...
Someone who will complete me.
I want someone who will make me feel like a woman.
Someone who will wait on me, seek my attention,
and not be able to get on with his life until I've granted him my favor.
Lord, you know what I really want?
I want to walk down the aisle
in a white dress.
In front of you,
with the man who will change my life.
Lord, you love me, don't you?
Please give me one person who will love me, too.
[sniffles]
Just one person.
[sniffles]
Someone who will love me wholeheartedly
and will not leave me.
Just one.
Please.
Please give me someone to love me, Lord!
Because there is plenty to love about me.
I'm a great girlfriend.
I am a keeper!
[lightning crashes]
[sobs]
[chuckles]
[grunts feebly]
[thunder rumbles]
[vehicle approaches]
Miss, you want an umbrella?
For 75 pesos only.
The money I have is for my ride home.
It's not enough.
All right.
It's okay, that will be enough.
[Elsa] Really?
I'm enough?
[man] Here.
[Elsa] Where are you headed?
Me?
Are you him?
-[bike revs] -Ah.
[Elsa gasps]
[Elsa whimpers]
[Elsa gasps]
[Elsa yelps]
[exclaims]
[chuckles]
[laughs]
Sorry.
It's fine.
[laughing]
Be quiet!
-Hey, fuck you! -Ow!
[Elsa laughs]
[sniffs]
Whoa!
[man moaning]
[grunting]
[grunts]
Wait, wait, wait...
Shh, shh. Okay.
[Elsa squeals]
[snoring]
[Elsa vocalizing romantically]
[exclaims happily]
Oh. Oh!
[continues vocalizing]
[woman] Elsa!
Elsa!
Well, hello, there my friend!
Hello, super friends!
Hello, Karissa!
Hello, friends.
[Facundo] Impressive setup!
[Nuna] Hello!
[Facundo] Is this a farewell or a graduation?
Are we going to eat now? Later.
We should eat later.
Wow, isn't it grand?
Wow, what a grand farewell party for the team.
True. Spoiled!
This is for you!
Aw! What is this?
A chamber pot!
So your mother can stop worrying.
[all laugh]
That's where your kitty goes when you want to pee.
[chuckling]
Oh, my God.
Quite a charm.
True!
Auntie's famous peanut oxtail stew.
More famous than your messed up lipstick.
[Nuna mutters] Is it?
Were the peanuts finely ground?
Of course.
Ground finely by mister's mortar.
Even the edges were ground to bits.
And you... If you don't want me to grind your face,
move over there and wipe the things.
Don't bother asking for permission. What's wrong with you?
[Facundo] Don't get in the way of Auntie Liberty's peanuts.
We're all here today to celebrate Elsa's fancy new...
I mean...
Elsa's new line of work.
Right?
Elsa, the new toll girl!
[all cheer and applaud]
I have an amazing daughter, don't I?
She has a new achievement.
And for that, let's dig in!
[all chatter excitedly]
Baby, let's eat!
Let's eat together!
Let's eat this cake.
[gags]
[retches]
[sighs]
[grunts]
[urinating]
[sighs]
[whimpers]
[inhales sharply]
[sighs]
[gasps]
[sniffles]
[stamps foot]
[stomps foot]
[sobs softly]
[employees chatting indistinctly]
Please sign here.
Next.
Karissa!
What's up? I was rushing to get here.
Here we are.
That's new.
Why are you making me drink?
Waiter, give us another bottle.
These are both yours. [chuckles]
Ah, no. Nevermind, I can't drink anymore.
Why are you crying?
Huh?
Why are you crying?
Hey!
I don't know how you'll take this but...
I want you to be the first to know.
Fuck you, you're pregnant?
Fuck you, I'm not.
So what happened? Why are you crying?
Why are you crying?
[laughs]
You first. Why are you tearing up?
Okay.
Do you remember what I used to tell you back in high school?
My dream?
I've always felt like all my dreams would come true,
except for this.
You're going to be a supermodel?
That was in grade school.
Think hard.
High school.
I told you how worried I was that nobody would ask me to dance at the prom.
Then Tristan came to the prom,
even though he had chickenpox.
Remember, I told you...
-I hoped Tristan's going to be... -[gasps]
[sobs happily]
Fuck!
Destiny, destiny!
It fits you to the T.
I almost swallowed that thing.
Tristan put it inside some pork cracklings.
You know me, once I've dipped it in vinegar,
it's going straight into my mouth.
I'm so glad I actually chew my food,
so I felt it.
And I know...
I know you'll insult our engagement ring.
But do you know why it doesn't fit me anymore?
Do you know why it doesn't fit my finger?
Because you have swollen,
sausagey fingers.
[laughs]
Because he bought me this ring way back in high school.
[inhales sharply]
Since high school, he knew he was in love with me.
Miracles happen, Elsa.
Miracles exist
in the heart of a pig.
There are miracles in pork cracklings!
There's a miracle on your best friend's little finger.
[laughs]
You know what, I'm so happy for you.
-Really? -I am so happy for you.
Thank you, bestie.
I'm so happy.
I'm happy.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy for you.
I'm so happy,
for you.
I'm so happy for you.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy for you.
Good day.
I'm looking for someone. An Indian.
I'm an Indian.
We're all Indians here.
This is an Indian establishment.
[chuckles awkwardly]
Um...
Ma'am, I didn't get his name. But, uh--
Are you going to pay off a debt?
Uh no, that's not it.
That's not it.
I paid for this umbrella, this is mine.
To that man...
Ma'am, this.
This umbrella.
Uh... He sells this kind of umbrella.
-This one? -Yes, ma'am.
All my workers sell that design.
All of them?
Ma'am, he owns a motorcycle.
Ma'am, that one.
I think that's his motorcycle. That's the one.
Or this one.
This one! This one! There it is. Ma'am, look at it.
That's his motorcycle. That must be it.
Must be... Must...
They all look the same.
This?
He's tall.
Is that him? Or you.
[exclaims] He's...
No, he's also wearing a turban.
A sharp nose.
This guy! Here, here, here.
That's him!
Shit, they all look the same.
-They all look the same. -[woman] Mmm-hmm.
They all... Oh, my God.
[prompting]
Uh...
They all look the same.
Nevermind, thank you.
[young men chattering loudly]
[man] Loser!
You're an idiot!
So stupid!
[all continue speaking and exclaiming]
[young man] What a fucking idiot.
I hope we just wiped you on the wall.
[Elsa, softly] Just wiped you on the wall.
Just wiped you on the wall.
I wish he just wiped you on the wall.
I wish he just...
[sobbing] I wish he just wiped you on the wall.
Elsa,
your mother is having a good cry at your house.
Her boyfriend Dmitri just left with that girl.
Girl, that would be her sixteenth ex-boyfriend.
Honey, Elsa,
bring me to the hospital.
This is the sixteenth time, Ma.
We can go all the way to the hospital for real this time.
Take me to the hospital.
You wasted these.
Did he leave you again?
Bring me to the hospital, Elsa.
That girl, Cess...
is an ingrate.
Bring me to the... Bring me to the hospital, honey.
-Bring me-- -I don't get you, Ma.
Why is it that whenever you decide to kill yourself,
you have to wait for me?
For what?
So I can stop you?
Fine, Ma.
I'm right here, ma, huh! I'll sit beside you.
Let's talk.
Are you sure you want to do this?
Fuck, bring me to the hospital, Elsa.
You have it easy, don't you, Ma?
Ever since I was a kid,
It always seemed so easy for you to enter in a relationship.
Like you're just buying chips from the store
and when you're done, you just throw it out.
Then you go on and buy another one.
It's so easy for you.
You're so quick to get into another relationship.
Sometimes it makes me think...
Maybe...
Maybe I'm the one getting all your bad karma.
That maybe, God's going like, "Hey!
Your mother's reached her quota with men,
so your chance has passed.
It's over for you."
Then you fuck it up with the guy,
and you'll want to kill yourself.
Huh, Ma?
But whatever,
I think you're ready to die
since you've experienced how it is to be loved and to love,
what with so many men you've been with.
-I only truly loved one person in my life. -Ma! Hey! Don't say that!
Ma.
Ma, you're dying, remember? You still dare lie to me?
Ma, you cannot tell me my father
was the only man you ever loved,
because you don't even know his name.
You're the only one I ever loved!
[sniffles]
You're the only person I ever loved, honey.
[sobbing]
Only you, Elsa.
Maybe that's why
it's hard for me to find someone new to marry.
Because...
I keep thinking about
what you'll say or think about them.
I know...
I know you didn't like Dmitri,
that's why I let him go, honey.
Even if I love him.
I'll just let him go because I love you more.
I would let them go,
it's not them who leave me behind.
I endure the pain.
Because I love you.
I think about how you feel.
I'm not even sure if...
another man will come along,
if you'd think they'd be good for me.
Because, honey,
I'm not sure
if...
If you still think of me as a good mother.
[sobbing]
I get it.
I'm not someone to be proud of,
because I'm not anything special.
[exhales heavily]
Didn't I...
Get it in your head.
Please get it in your head.
That when I found out I was pregnant with you,
when I found out I was going to have a baby,
I went straight to church.
I prayed. Your mother prayed!
[sobs] And I said,
"Thank you, Lord, thank you."
I told God,
"You gave me a...
You gave me a reason,
to quit this job."
I asked God
to give me one person who will truly love me.
I said... I said, "Lord...
give me one person who will never leave my side.
Even if I'm a terrible woman.
Because...
Because I will do everything...
I will do everything, Lord,
to be a good mother."
Because...
Because if I have a baby,
she might love me as I am.
My baby will take care of me.
My baby, Elsa, that's you.
That's you, Elsa.
That's you.
You're the only person Mama ever loved.
You're the only one,
and you will always be the only one I will ever love.
No matter how many men come into my life.
It doesn't matter.
No matter how many.
You're the only one Mama loves.
You're the only one Mama loves, Elsa.
Things will get better.
Ma, I'm pregnant.
We'll fix everything, baby.
Ma, I'm pregnant.
We'll fix everything, baby.
Ma, I'm pregnant.
[sobs]
Mama, I'm pregnant, Ma.
Ma, I'm pregnant, Ma.
Ma, I'm pregnant.
Mama, I'm pregnant, Ma.
I'm pregnant, Ma.
Mama, I'm pregnant.
[Liberty exclaims] Honey, look!
I'm pregnant, Ma.
Honey, honey.
We'll sort everything out.
We'll sort it out.
I'm pregnant, Mama.
Mama, I'm pregnant, Mama.
Everything will be fine, honey.
Mama will sort things out.
We'll fix things together, okay?
Your Mama's got you, okay?
Ma, I'm pregnant.
We'll fix things together, okay?
Mama will sort things out.
Okay?
Come here, honey.
Everything will be fine, okay?
Mama, I'm pregnant, Mama.
We'll sort this out.
Honey, we will go to the hospital.
Let's get you a checkup.
I already went for a checkup, Ma.
I already went.
Honey, we'll do another. What about me?
I want to see my grandchild.
We don't need to, Ma.
You won't die. Nobody dies from drinking multivitamins, Ma!
Those fucking hoes!
Why did they give me multivitamins?
[laughs]
I knew I wasn't going to die yet.
[both laughing]
Your mother won't die yet!
It's okay.
Let's take a selfie while waiting.
Elsa's here!
Elsa!
Anchovies.
Eat all of it.
Mama had us send you pork with shrimp paste.
[speaking indistinctly throughout]
[all exclaim]
Eat well, okay?
I'll take your umbrella, sir.
I don't have an umbrella, mister.
You can take my hat.
Where is it?
Here you are. Look after it.
Elsa!
I told you to bring me along when you go for checkups!
[squeals] She's coming!
Hurry!
[all cheering]
Honey,
I see this in all the rich parties I go to!
If pink powder comes out, it's a girl.
[all exclaim]
If it's blue, it's a boy.
[cheering]
On three, all right? Count. Okay?
One, two, three!
Go on!
Pop it!
One, two, three!
[all exclaim]
Why is it green?
[Nuna] Why is it green?
You said boy.
Blue for boys. Why is it green? It should be blue.
They didn't have blue.
That's fine. Green is for boys, too, Mama.
What do you think of my grandchild? Chlorophyll?
You think he needs photosynthesis?
You drive me crazy! I told you to get blue.
Nevermind, now we know... it's a boy!
[all cheer]
[all encouraging]
Go, go, go!
Wait, wait, wait!
It's 11:11!
Okay! Let's go!
Wait, wait, wait!
Why are you the only ones in your underwear?
Ma!
Slowly. Beautiful baby.
[Liberty laughs]
Bestie!
[all chattering indistinctly]
Congratulations!
Hey.
Say, hi.
Good morning, Ms. Manalili.
It's Elsa Mangahas. Grade three, ylang-ylang!
I'm with Tom-Tom.
Tom-Tom.
I have my own Tommy now.
We had him baptized this morning.
And you're his godmother.
Even if you weren't able to attend.
Anyway, you couldn't possibly refuse.
[laughs]
Ma'am...
I want to tell you something.
I was wrong
when I said,
"I don't want to be like you."
Because it would be a privilege to pattern my life after yours,
if I were to cross-stitch
all the wisdom
I learned from you.
But, ma'am,
it's not true you were alone with only your dogs for company.
Besides, I think if there was anyone
who'll never be alone in this world,
it would be teachers.
Every year,
you are blessed with a new set of children.
And your brood keeps growing.
And here.
[chuckles]
You've got a new grandchild without you even knowing.
Ma'am...
Ma'am, it's not true
that you were alone in life.
Because you had built so many lives.
And it's not true
that you died alone either.
Because someone like you never really dies.
-Right, Tom-Tom? -[coughs]
Oh! [chuckles]
[Elsa babbles]
You did not die.
Because no teacher will ever die...
in the heart
and memory of their student.
Thank you.
Elsa?
Elsa!
Hi, Elsa! So, you work here.
How have you been?
I heard you have a baby now.
Lucky you!
You got what you always wanted.
We're not so...
Where are you headed? You're not mad anymore?
To Obando.
We're going to dance there. You never know.
Let's hang out sometime!
Tell me what you know. I really want to have a baby.
Anyway, take care! Please send my regards to Karissa.
All right, bye!
Take care.
Bye!
[Elsa] Did it come true?
Hey, miss, our fee.
What I wanted?
Our fee.
[gasps]
-What do I really want? -Hey, miss, our fee!
[nun] See here, child...
Sometimes,
we already have our minds made up about the kind of gift we want to receive.
We won't recognize it if it arrives in a different package.
We might think it's not the gift we wanted.
But if we open it,
alas!
It is exactly the gift we asked for.
Just in a different package.
I want someone...
to be there for me
when I'm upset.
I want someone
who will never think of me as an inconvenience,
or a loser.
I want someone who will hold my hand when I'm scared.
Lord, I want someone
who will be by my side when I can't deal with things on my own.
Someone who will tell me the important things
that happen in his life.
Lord, I just want...
I just want one person
who won't bail on me even when I'm fucked up.
I want to walk down the aisle
in a white dress.
In front of you,
with the man who will change my life.
Lord,
I am worthy of love.
Lord,
I would make a great girlfriend.
I am Jowable.