- All right.
The coast is officially clear.
- Freedom!
This girl's got some roots to stretch!
Mmm!
- Get some water, get some fertilizer.
Now's your chance, folks!
- Mmm...
- Aah! - Whoa! Oof!
- Larry? Larry?
Has anyone seen my pet ladybug?
No...
- Guys, guys! I've grown a flower.
- Whoa! - Ooh!
- That's just glued on.
- You can't glue on a flower.
- You can glue everything.
Look! I glued eyes to my butt.
- Everyone stay close to your pot spots!
Don't wander too far.
- Too late, Boo! Ha ha ha! Tag! You're it!
- Can't a bonsai get some sleep around here?
- Can't catch me!
- Whoa! Whoa! Oof!
- Gotcha!
Uh-oh...
- Hey! - Go back to your side!
- Can we share it?
- Whoa! - Oh!
- Oh... - I knew it.
- Look! Winter's coming! Herman lost another leaf.
- That means it's almost Christmas!
- Shh! Don't say--
- Um, did somebody say Christmas?!
- Ah, yes! Sing for us, Albert!
- Me? Sing?
Oh, I don't know if I can...
- Albert! Albert!
- Albert! Albert! Albert! - Ha ha, come on, Albert.
- Who's ready to get their jingle on?
Sing it, Albert!
- I'm ready! I'm ready! JINGLE ME!
- Ahhh, here we go...
Right there. Ooh, you missed a spot.
- And turn up the "Silent Nights"!
- That's not too much, right? Ha ha ha ha!
Nailed it.
- Eeew, Lola's got a weed!
- Ahhh!
- She's got a weed. Maybe I've got a flower.
Ever think of that? Weedist.
Oof!
Aah!
- Ooh! - Eew!
- Ugh! Try cleaning your butt yard once in a while, Gramps.
- Off my lawn!
- Owww! - Oh! Get outta here, jerkweed!
- The name is Geeeen--
Oof!
- Be nice. It's Christmastime!
Goodwill towards all, remember?
- So warm and moist. Ahh...
- Ooh-whee!
Uh, 'scuse me, guys,
I don't wanna disturb you or anything,
but there's fresh Christmas trees on the lot!
- Oh! - Ah!
- Get outta my way! - I wanna take a gander!
- Calm down. Come on. Everybody'll get to see 'em.
- Check out that bark! - Oh ho ho ho ho!
- Check out those stems! - It's me and the spirit!
- Hubba-hubba! - They're big!
- That's some serious plants!
- Hey. Why are you so blue Christmas?
Those trees outside--
someone's gonna take them home,
make 'em all twinkly and shiny.
And right on top will go a big, bright star.
Why not me?
- Uh, guys, I don't wanna alarm you or anything,
but Earth Mama's comin' back!
Get back to your pot spots--
pronto! - Ohh!
- How did you get down here and all gussied up?
- Is that your Christmas tree, Grandma?
- This pipsqueak? Ha ha ha!
He's not ready yet.
- Ya got the delivery for Baker's Hill, Ma?
- It's in the back. We just need to load the truck.
Sweetie, do Grandma a favor and take off all those ornaments.
- Lots of people think I'm a pipsqueak too.
Awesome!
But my dad always says it's okay to be small,
as long as it doesn't stop you from doing big things.
And she's gone!
- Aah! I'm so glad she plugged you in!
Oh, you look so nice all plugged in!
- I do, don't I?
Aw, no.
Ugh!
- Delicious bamboo...
is the panda's favorite food.
- Aah! Turn it off, turn it off!
- Yeah.
- Not in front of the children!
- Aw, man!
- So the search is on
for the world-famous Empire City Christmas tree.
I'm here with tree expert Horton Farber.
Now, professor...
what makes the perfect Christmas tree?
- Ha ha. Right. Robust branches
are a must for any Christmas tree,
the better to hold those ornaments and lights.
Some delight at the aroma of a tree,
or "nature's perfume"...
As I like to call it.
But the truly perfect Empire City Tree
that captures our hearts and imaginations,
it radiates all the beauty and wonder and joy that--
I'm sorry.
That is Christmas.
- Albert! Everything he said--
that's you!
I can be that tree!
- Yes!
- Ha ha ha! You? - Why not me?
- Tomorrow, I'll be joining Professor Farber
at Baker's Hill, Vermont,
where he will select this year's Empire City Tree.
- All right, plants! Baker's Hill!
We need coordinates!
- We're here, and Baker's Hill is there.
I'd say it's about 3 inches.
- That's so close!
- Ugh. What are they putting in your mulch?
- Wait, now hold on, hold on, hold on.
You're leaving us, Albert?
- Albert, we--we love you.
- I will never forget you guys.
- Again, I don't wanna alarm anybody,
but Albert, your ride's leavin'!
You'll be sorry!
- No. I'll be a Christmas tree!
all: Go, go, go!
- No, no, no!
- What the dingus is goin' on here?
- Oops!
- Go, Albert. Follow your dreams!
- Ha ha ha ha!
It's gonna be a very peaceful Christmas this year.
Ooh!
- Whaa--
Albert!
- Albert!
- Maisie!
Whoo-hoo!
- Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-- - Whoa--oh-oh-oh!
No, no, no! Oh, my lights!
I can't be the Empire City Tree without my lights!
Yaaaah!
Oof!
- One more stop at Baker's Hill and then...
- Empire City! And then...
- The greatest Christmas Tree in the world!
- Whoa! So this is outside.
- Yeah, brutal, ugly, and cold.
Brrr...
- Do you hear that?
It's like someone's crying.
- We're being transplanted!
- Aww! Aren't they cute?
- Can I tell you a secret?
I'm on my way to a new place too.
You think I'm scared?
I am.
- You are?
- Yeah, even a big tree like me.
Sometimes we all feel small.
But that's okay,
as long as it doesn't stop you from doing big things.
all: Whoa!
Noooooo!
- Uh, Dad, what's Grandma's little tree doing on the truck?
- You're seeing things, honey.
- Not things. Grandma's tree!
- Ah...
- Uh-oh! - Oh, bite my bark.
- Holy Blitzen!
Coulda sworn I covered those up.
- The tree was here.
I saw it!
- Maybe you're just hungry, sweetie.
Let's get some lunch!
I see things when I'm hungry, too.
One time, I saw a giant fried chicken.
- Whoo! That was close.
- I think I wet my soil.
Help!
- Talking snow!
- Whoa! The outside is a strange
and mysterious place.
Ugh!
Someone's underneath!
Cold, cold, cold!
Ohh...
Ohh...uhh!
Sweet relief!
I got snow in places no cactus should have snow!
- Hey, are you okay, mister? - Mister?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, like you don't know who I am.
I love it, the whole not recognizing me thing.
Hello! Cactus Pete!
You're on a sign!
- A sign? How 'bout plates!
Cups, napkins--the menu!
- How 'bout the toilet paper?
His real name's Roy.
He changed it after he got the job.
- What were you doing in the snow?
- It's a brutal and sadistic tale.
11 months outta the year,
I'm the hottest tamale in town.
But as soon as Christmas blows in like a bad smell...
They toss me out like trash
just so this pretty boy can take my special spot!
I hate you.
Check out those lights.
- That tree has nothing on you, Albert.
Well...
aren't you mister shiny and twinkly?
- Albert's gonna be the Empire City Christmas Tree.
Maybe you've heard of it.
- Well, you don't say?
The most famous Christmas Tree in the whole dang universe.
- Guys, we should roll.
- Well, not the universe, not the whole thing.
Just the world.
- Oh, don't be modest, Albert.
- Yeah, don't be modest, Al.
You're the Empire City Christmas Tree, Al.
Everyone loves you, Al!
- Oh ho ho ho, that's because
the truly perfect Christmas tree,
like moi, radiates the--
Aah!
- I know all about Christmas trees, jocko!
"We need room for our precious trees.
Let's throw the cactus outside. It won't mind."
Well, I do mind!
I mind a great deal!
We should go.
- Sharpen your needles, boys!
It's time to show our friends a prickly good time.
- Ooh, whatever you say, Roy.
Ohh...
- Destroy that tree!
Albert: Aaaah!
Aah!
- You gotta shoot back. - Gene's right.
Make us fly, Maisie.
- Not what I meant!
Albert: Aaaahhh!
- Ohh...
- Head for the truck!
- Yee-haw!
Ow!
- Aah! - Aah--ooh-ooh-wah-oh!
Maisie!
Aah!
Run!
Oh!
- Albert! - Behind you!
- Yah, yah!
Ooh!
- Wow. - Dang.
Ha ha ha ha!
Now, that was a prickly good time!
- Leave Albert al--
- Hah. That's the best you got?
- Aah!
- Maisie! - Ha ha.
How's it feel... knowing there ain't gonna be
no stinking Empire City Tree this year?
- Let me get back to you on that.
- Man, I hate Christmas.
Ooh!
Ohh...
- Yes!
- Next stop, Baker's Hill!
Ha ha ha!
Wait, no! No, no, no, no! - Wait, wait, wait!
Wait for us!
No! No...
- I'll get us a new ride faster than you can say
"Every wish comes true if the wisher who wishes it
wishes hard enough!"
- Where'd you dig her up?
Come on, let's go back
to that cozy, wozy wonderful store.
- You're a quitter.
- I'm a realist, pal.
Even if she does find us a truck, which she won't,
what are the chances it's gonna take us to Baker's--
- Yoo-hoo! Baker's Hill anyone?!
- Maisie, ha ha ha, you're amazing!
- Unbelievable.
- I'm the best, I'm the best!
Aw, yeah!
I'm the best! Ooh-ooh!
I found a truck! Ooh, yeah! Let's go!
Oh, boy! This is gonna be the best Christmas ever!
Can you feel it, Albert?
- Whoa!
There are stars in the sky and snow on the ground.
It's everything Christmas should be.
But something's still missing.
It's me!
- What about Santa?
- Yeah, he's pretty great.
- And the nine flying reindeer?
- Uh, there were only eight.
But, actually, the tree!
Yaahhh!
- Ha ha ha! The best thing that could happen to Christmas
is me... beating the sap out of
the shiniest, twinkliest, Christmas tree in the world!
- Whoa! What's happening?
- "Bakers Hill.
Paper--Paper Mill?"
- Aah! - Aah!
Oh!
- I don't wanna die in screaming agony!
Hold on to something big!
- At least we got rid of Cactus Pete!
- Think again!
Ha ha!
- Albert!
- Maisie!
Hang on, I'm comin'!
Oh!
- Wrong again. You're goin'!
- Oh!
- Ha ha!
Oh, boy.
- Ah...aah!
- Yes!
Pete, I know a way out.
But I need your help.
- What's your plan?
- Gene can flip the switch!
- This is not a plan.
It's--aah!
- Hurry up, Gene! - Hurry!
It's stuck!
- Albert!
- I'm sorry, Maisie!
I'm sorry!
- At least I'll take you down with--
Aah!
Ah...
- Albert! - Maisie!
- Aah!
Aah--
Finally!
- Let the auditions begin!
- Hmm.
This could work.
- We can't have Christmas without a tree.
- Bring it, Boo!
Oh!
Oh. Next!
Next!
- Next!
Ho...ho...ho.
all: We miss Albert.
- Whoa! I didn't know trees grew so tall!
Hello? Hello!
Does anybody know how to get to Baker's Hill?
Anybody?
Maybe they're too tall to hear.
- Maybe you're too short to be heard.
- A bunny! Aw!
- I don't like the way she's lookin' at me.
- Gene, only you could be paranoid about a bunny.
- Yeah. She's such a honey bunny!
The cutest wittle fuzzy muffin the world!
Aah!
Hey, stop!
Ouch!
You wanna piece of me?
- He already got a piece a' you.
It's the piece a' me I'm worried about.
- What's his problem?
Aah!
- Another one?
How many are there?
- You don't wanna know.
- Hop!
Hop, hop, hop!
- Ah...I'm getting sleigh sick!
Both: Uh-oh.
Aah!
Whew!
- Ah-choo!
- Oh, this is how it ends.
Ha ha ha! Yes!
Vegetables--one. Bunnies--nothing.
- Baker's Hill!
We made it!
- Well, tweeze my roots!
- Whoo-hoo!
How do ya feel now, Mr. Grumpy Pants?
You're sharing a pot with the next
Empire City Christmas Tree!
- Oh, my last one!
I can't go out there without my ornaments!
- Oh, don't worry.
We're gonna get ya all holly jolly.
Aren't you gonna help?
- Why bother?
- Gene, this is my chance
to be a real Christmas tree.
- Albert, you don't need any of that shiny,
twinkly stuff to be a Christmas tree.
You shared your pot with me when no one else would.
You treated me like a friend and not some filthy weed.
If that's not what Christmas is all about,
then I don't know what is!
- Thanks, guys. - If anyone says
you're not Christmassy enough, send them to me.
- Break a branch!
And not literally!
Just an expression!
- Trunk in.
Branches out.
Be...the tree!
- Oh! This is it!
We found our tree, everyone!
- Christmas tree! Over here, please!
Christmas tree! Please!
I'm the one.
I'm...the one.
- It's a Christmas miracle, everyone.
We have found the glorious Empire City Tree!
- You'll be the Empire City Tree next year, Albert.
You'll see.
- The runt wants to be the Empire City Tree!
- That's precious!
I mean, right?
I mean, tell me, am I'm wrong?
- Hear that, Betty? Shrimpo wants your job.
- Ha ha ha ha ho!
Look at you!
Oh, I've got pine cones bigger than you,
little sprout.
- I'm not a sprout.
I'm just short.
Leave me alone!
- Albert! Ah-choo!
Albert! Ah-choo!
Albert?
Oh, there you are.
- All my life, I dreamed about being a Christmas tree.
- Forget those jerkweeds.
They don't know their butts from their branches.
- Come on, let's go home.
- No way. Everyone at the nursery
is just gonna laugh at me.
- Ah ha ha!
What's funny is that you actually had me fooled.
I really thought you were the famous tree!
But hey, I gotta thank ya, Al.
Because of you, I found the real Empire City Tree.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
- Noooo!
- He's gonna destroy the Empire City Tree.
And it's all my fault.
- Don't blame yerself, Albert.
It's her fault too.
- Yeah! Feel better now?
- No...no.
How did Pete survive the Mill?
- He's unstoppable.
- No, he's not.
- Whoo-hoo!
Ah, yeah!
- Yikes! Where are we?
- Leave it to me.
- Ah-choo!
- Are you all right?
- Why wouldn't I be?
- Watch this.
Yo, buddy, can you help out a fellow weed?
- A weed in need?
- Yes, indeed.
We gotta get to Empire City Square!
- Hey, SCUZZ! We got a weed in need here!
- Harry! Let's get these newbies to the square ASAP!
- Yo, take it down a notch.
- See, everyone else treats weeds like dirt.
So we help each other.
- It's the weed creed.
- How can you grow in a crack?
- Hey, babe, it's just a crack. But it's my crack, all right?
- It's a crack.
- Hey, we got your route!
- This way. Let's go!
Right here!
- Ah!
Ooh!
Ugh!
Now!
- We're here in Empire City
for the lighting of the world's most famous Christmas tree.
Professor Horton,
what can you tell us about this year's tree?
- Oh, that trunk!
Those branches! - Is that Albert?
- Yeah, if he's been scarfing a buttload of fertilizer.
- You mean, they didn't pick him?
Well, I would have picked him!
What's wrong with them? He was perfect!
- Hey, down in front!
- Cactus Pete!
- Save...the...
ah...ah...
ah-choo!
- Maisie? Maisie!
Albert?!
- Maisie!
You're freezing.
- We gotta warm her up.
- I know you. You're from Grandma's nursery.
A tree like you shouldn't be out in the cold.
Dad! Dad! The palm tree from Grandma's store.
You gotta see this!
Someone's pulling a fast one.
- Well, if it isn't my old pal Al,
the little tree that couldn't.
Look at yourself!
I may never be a Christmas tree,
but I am not letting you ruin Christmas.
- Oh ho ho ho! Sassy words, amigo.
Oh, sometimes I'm so bad.
Now if you'll excuse me,
it's time to get a little festive.
I call it "The Empire City Christmas Tree Lighting...
with extra picante."
- Uhh!
Mm...uhh!
Mmm...
- No!
- Albert!
I...
I saved the tree.
- Not yet. Look, a falling star.
- Aah!
- Ohh...
- Ho...ho...ha!
- I'm--I'm--I'm bald!
My dad always says it's okay to be small
as long as it doesn't stop you from doing big things.
Uhh!
- Folks, the Christmas star
has sliced off the top of this beautiful tree.
Sliced it like a knife through a holiday cheese log.
- You don't have to be a scientist to know
that a Christmas tree without a star is...
not a Christmas...
Tree?
- Are you okay?
- Yes! Someone get me a pot,
a shovel, and ornaments. Quick!
- You heard the professor.
And while you're at it, get rid of this ugly cactus.
Oh...
- I don't know how you got here, my little friend,
but thank Christmas you made it.
- Daddy! That's him! Grandma's tree!
I told you I saw him!
- Jiminy Christmas!
- It's like my dream had a dream,
and that dream came true!
- You can do it...
- C'mon, little guy...
- Be strong.
- Be...the tree.
- Hooray! I'm a genius!
- Go, little tree!
- Are you gonna sing that all night?
- I might!
- I figured!
- Back home, my friends can't get enough of it.
- Good-bye, Albert.
- Oh...
oh--uhh!
Ah, you've gotta be kidding me.
- Maisie! Wait! I need a favor!
- Pete!
Thanks, guys!
- Ugh. You won, okay?
Just let me be. Go spread joy to the world
or some reindeer-poop like that.
- You don't really hate Christmas, Pete.
- Oh, stop.
- What you hate is being left out.
I know how it feels.
Yer talkin' nonsense.
- We're not so different, you and me.
We both have needles, but...
no one hangs ornaments on yours.
And that stinks.
- I...
I always wondered what it would be like,
bein' all shiny and twinkly
and feeling the warmth of those lights
and...making everyone feel merry!
Hmm.
Listen, I'm, uh...
I'm sorry. For everything I did to you.
I've been nothin' but naughty this year.
- It's not too late to do nice.
- Whoo-hoo!
Hey, look at me!
I'm Mr. Shiny McTwinkly!
Ooh, sorry about the buzz cut, ma'am.
- Don't mention it.
- Whoo-hoo!
Ha ha ha! I'm prickly!
I'm prickly, and it's okay!
- How long are we gonna give him?
- As long as he wants. - Wait, what?
- After all you put me through? You're just walking away?
- No. I'm going home.
I got some friends who need a Christmas Tree.
Yeah, that's the stuff!
- Maisie looked that bunny square in the eyes and said--
- You wanna piece of me?!
- Right, that's telling 'em!
What about green Gene, here?
- Ah you wouldn't believe it.
Gene knew every weed in Empire City!
- Every weed! - Wow!
- Gene's a bad dude.
What can I say?
I get around.
- I hate to alarm y'all again,
but Earth Mama's on the move! Hurry!
- You wanna do what?
- But we've got presents to open!
- Just one second.
- What is it with her and that tree?
- I don't know how you did it, little tree,
but I'm glad you're back.
Here, I made something for ya.
I'm sure I'll be seeing you around.
I always do.
- I love sappy endings.
- Yeah, me too!
- Weed! - You can call me SCUZZ.
- Merry Christmas! - Aah!
- How's it hanging, fun stuff?
- Watch your mouth, little weed boy.
Ohhh...
- Refill!
- I think I found my soilmate. Mwah.
- Oh, no...
- Oh, yeah, we invited some friends over for Christmas.
- Come on, guys! Mingle, dance around.
This is a party! Let's party!
- Who's ready to get their jingle on?
Ha ha ha!