Previously on surrealestate.
We've been at this new place almost six months
and we still haven't found a replacement for Phil.
We found 34 replacements for zooey.
These aren't people you replace easily.
I'm still meeting August in underground parking garages.
If you find our mission so distasteful, why do you stay?
Little Luke.
All growed up.
And he sells houses.
Payback's a bitch, little Luke.
And it's coming for you.
Slow down, jaybird. No one's gonna take it away.
You definitely did something different.
It's called a reverse sear.
Put the steak in the oven a few minutes,
bake the inside then you sear it on the grill.
Do you think we'll have a barbecue at our new place?
We'll pick one out together.
Cool.
Can I go to Quentin's for a sleepover on the weekend?
Like, they-they're throwing me a party, like, my friends.
Like, farewell-type thing.
We talked about this.
Yeah, dad, I, I promise I'm going to be super careful
- and I won't... - This isn't a debate.
We have rules for a reason.
Hey, I know this is hard but we'll figure it out. Okay?
Goodnight.
Hey.
Come here.
- Goodnight. - 'Kay.
Sleep tight, buddy.
Same old story:
A woman comes home early and catches her man
with a microwave.
Why build a magnetron when one can simply borrow
from the people who brought us the six-minute baked potato?
- August. - It's for Luke.
Let me guess: He called
and you jumped at the chance to thumb your nose at asdra,
who will be furious to learn
you are in violation of your non-compete.
Luke is a friend and needed my help.
This isn't about asdra or my recent discontent.
Look, I know you've been unhappy with them
but I got some news tonight at dinner I think may help.
Zhang is retiring.
He announces next week.
And his replacement?
Executive director?
That's wonderful, shell. Very well deserved.
It's what I've been working for all these years.
But they are gonna be looking at me very, very closely.
Not just my work.
Everything.
My record has to be spotless.
No skeletons in the closet, or else
the last thing I want to do
is to put your career at risk.
Thank you.
I can tell you right now, Mitch,
there will be no shortage of buyers for this neighbourhood.
Young families will love to have such a great school nearby.
- Good to know. - Any particular reason
why you're selling?
Just time to move on.
- Got it. - Well, in terms of staging
I have a few thoughts. I
yeah. My, my son Jaylen has kind of a sleeping disorder.
One time he wandered right out the front door into the street.
- My god. Was he okay? - Yeah. I don't sleep real well.
I, I was awake and grabbed him in time.
Lucky.
- Can I take a look inside? - Another time.
It's a war zone in there.
- Teenage boys, right? - Yeah.
Excuse me. It's the movers.
Hi. Yeah.
Yeah, I was hoping you could pencil me in for the 23rd. Yeah.
- See what you needed? - Sorry. I-I was just
yeah.
Got some moving stuff to take care of if you don't mind.
Sure thing.
No messing around, please. Just take the first offer.
- Whatever it is. - The first offer?!
- Thanks, Ms. Ireland. - But...
Hey, Audrey. Settling in okay?
Yes, Mr. Roman. I familiarized myself
with open accounts, I organized an inspection
with the Rohan house and I sent back
that coffee pod machine, as requested.
I mean, am I crazy or was there a weird aftertaste?
There was, but I'll find a nice pour-over machine
and make a standing bean order with a local roaster.
Awesome.
Roman/ireland.
May I say who's calling?
Sure. One moment.
There's a Mr. Macneil on the phone for you.
- Macneil? - Transfer it to my cell?
Sure.
Luke Roman.
Luke. Hello, Luke. How are you?
Fine, thanks. Who's this?
Luke, my name is Tyler macneil.
I'm, looking to sell my home.
I was told you're the best. I'm in the business of best.
Well, thank you, Mr. Macneil.
What sort of property are we talking about here?
- It's Tyler. - The address is 712 river walk.
- The house on the hill. - The one overlooking the river.
But you know that, living there as you do.
Would you like to come by and take a look at it?
Yes, yes, very much, Mr. Mac...
Tyler. Tyler? Then we can set up
a personalized market plan identifying and targeting
- key buyer segments. - Thanks, Luke.
I'll be in touch.
712 river walk is hitting the market.
Is that a good thing?
It's pretty much a big fish that just jumped into the boat.
Okay, well, I'll find some comparables
and make some room in the calendar for you.
Thanks.
Sorry, I just had one question.
I keep seeing a reference to s-m-e-p
but I can't seem to find what it means.
Specialists in metaphysically engaged properties.
Homes that have,
unique barriers to sell.
Well, I'd love to learn more about them.
Susan, I'd like to introduce you to our fabulous
new administrative assistant, Audrey,
fresh from the temp agency.
- It's nice to meet you, Audrey. - Miss Ireland.
Any experience in the industry?
Well, I spent two years temping at Leland properties.
High volume, but lacking the personal touch
that a boutique agency provides.
Two years. I hope you learned a few things.
So, a few.
Why don't you take the day and get to know my filing system?
Sure. It shouldn't take the whole day.
She has a hundred and nine different color codes.
Hope you know your fuchsias from your violets.
Strap in, buttercup.
It was so strange. There were these big locks
on his son's bedroom door.
It was a mess, with bars on the windows
and he wants me to take the first offer we get!
- First offer? That's crazy talk. - No, seriously,
I get a real weird vibe from this guy.
This guy!
This wonderful guy!
Mitch!
Can I get you some coffee?
We have, pour-over now.
So, your dad won't let you come
because you walk in your sleep sometimes?
Bro, that's nuts!
Yeah, I know.
You ever thought about seeing a sleep doctor or something?
No, I never want to see another doctor ever again.
Right, right. Sorry, I forgot.
Man, is it, is really that serious, though, like...?
I mean, sometimes I wake up
with actual scratch marks on my walls.
Last week my whole wardrobe was tipped over, so...
And you just never remember a thing?
- Never. - Man, that's crazy.
But you should still come. I'd just, I'd look out for you.
I came to apologize.
I shouldn't have snapped at you like that.
I'm just... anxious to put that house behind us
and get a fresh start.
My, my wife and I bought that house together
but she died. It was a car accident.
I'm so sorry.
This was a few years ago and just as we were
picking up the pieces, Jaylen got sick. Really sick.
The doctors didn't think he was gonna make it.
- My god. - They called it a miracle.
Guess the universe owed us one, you know?
That's amazing.
So, the sleepwalking, it started after?
- Yeah. - It's probably stress-related.
He's just been through so much, but, I got a handle on it.
Well, Jaylen's lucky to have you looking out for him.
And I will do my best to fast-track the deal
and give you two that fresh start asap.
- Thank you, miss Ireland. - Susan.
But I insist we field multiple offers.
I wouldn't sleep well let the mif we didn't. It does.
Okay. Sounds good.
- Who are you? - Sorry.
I-I-I was... no one, no one answered the door.
I asked who you are.
Well, I'm a member of St. Andrew's church
and I'm just, I'm just inviting you to our
weekend fundraising barbecue.
I see. A man of god.
And he told you to come over here
and invite me over for a little wine, wafer and
ribs?
- No. - Not, not exactly.
Well, then, what does he tell you, then?
I assume he speaks to you, comforts you,
tells you you're his favoritest little helper.
Okay, I should really get going.
Just kidding, son. What's your name?
Alex.
Alex. Well, I'd like to give you some money, Alex.
How's $100,000 sound?
One and five zeros.
Are you a liberal arts major, Alex?
- A hundred thousand? - That's
I mean, I don't... I mean...
The church could do so much with that kind of contribution
it's not for the church! It's for you.
I will personally pay you$100,000
to leave the church... that corrupt, depraved,
rotting old relic... and never return.
What do you say, Alex?
Can I get an amen and a hallelujah?!
All right.
You're crazy.
Hundred grand from a crazy man spends just as nice!
Think about it, Alex.
How do you always know exactly what I want?
Sorry for being late.
The asdra rocket I'm designing now needs to be 12 tons lighter.
It's like asking a prizefighter trying to make weight
to hand over his spleen.
Must be nice to play in the big leagues again.
Asdra's resources are impressive.
But there was a certain uncomplicated morality
about my work at the agency.
On that topic,
whatever's shambling around the Rohan house,
should take care of it.
But I made a commitment to asdra, Luke.
And, more importantly, to Rochelle.
I'll join you for a pint anytime,
but I mustn't cheat on asdra anymore.
Vocationally speaking.
So, no more toys.
Been tough without you, August.
And Phil. And zooey.
I miss the old days.
That's why I haven't tried so hard to replace you.
Be pretty much admitting that,
you're not coming back.
I miss it, too.
More than you know.
To old friends and musty attics.
Yo, Jaylen!
Come outside, man! This party's gonna be lit.
Jaylen! Look, man, I'm not leaving
'til you get your ass outside. Don't be a wiener.
Jaylen!
Come on, grow a pair and get your ass out here, man.
I'll make a man outta you, boy!
Jaylen.
Man.
Luke Roman. Welcome.
Tyler.
You look... Just like your transit bench.
Please, come on in.
I love the walls, floors and the view is...
Remarkable.
May I ask why you're selling?
- It's just not me anymore. - Something from the kitchen?
Just water.
So, tell me your story, Luke.
Well, with roman/ireland you get all the amenities
of a high-volume agency with the care and attention
only a boutique.
I can read all that on your website.
I want to know about you.
Not much to tell, really.
Any family?
I'm a single-detached at the moment.
How about yourself? What line of work you in?
I operate luxury retirement lifestyle alternatives.
Senior housing? Now that is a stable market.
You know what it's about, Luke?
Dignity.
Our society, we tend to just put people in a box.
- That's true. - We just put them in a box
and toss them out when we're done with them.
Just toss them right out,
into whatever. Sink or swim, right?
- It's a shame. - Yeah.
Yeah, it is. It's a shame.
A shame, a damn shame.
So, tell me, Luke, why real estate
out of all the things that you could've done?
Asking myself that a lot lately.
Excuse me.
Hey. Can I call you back?
Can it wait? I'm with a really important client.
I'll be right there.
So you're leaving?
A client issue. Can't wait.
You've got clients. You know how it is.
Give me a call and we'll talk about what your needs are.
I'm very good at expressing my needs.
Great! See you soon.
Hey
I thought about what you said and I'll take the money.
What the hell.
I'll call you.
Sorry, limited-time offer.
Came by to do a little staging and I found this.
Whoa.
I hope Jaylen's okay.
Hold that thought.
My god! Is he all right?
We're okay. He just needs to rest.
- Are you sure? - Please go.
- Mitch, it's... - let us know if you need anything.
- What the...? - Let's just give 'em some time.
We'll talk about it, but not here.
All right, so I looked into Mr. Valmy but there isn't much.
It says that he used to be a pilot
for a commercial airline, but he quit a few years ago.
Was probably when his son got sick.
Yeah. He's been day trading ever since.
And he's apparently really good at it.
Do you always dig into your clients this way?
Because at Leland properties we would never really do this.
Audrey, will you excuse us for a moment?
Yeah. Sure.
So what do you know?
- Jaylen is not a sleepwalker. - What is he?
I could feel something else in there. Something nasty.
Should we bring that thing along? The m.E.D.?
I don't know how to use it. Do you?
It's a... Molecular exfiltration device.
How hard could it be?
- We should call August. - August is unavailable.
Asdra's jerking his chain.
No August, no Phil, no zooey.
Lomax is at that relocation conference.
We are seriously understaffed.
We gotta move fast 'cause that kid's in danger
and I think his father is, too.
Are you guys hopping on a call? I'd sure love to shadow.
Sorry, I found a cerulean file in a vermillion folder.
Start again, please.
Jaylen?
Open the door. We need to talk about it.
I just want to be alone!
Okay.
I'm here if you need me.
It's humming. I think that's good?
Maybe it doesn't know the words.
Luke, we have to do this right!
This family has been through enough.
Yeah. Unlucky.
- What are you doing here? - Mitch, we need to talk.
What's happening to your son isn't normal.
I told you, he's just a teenager.
He's bending iron.
No amount of hormones in the world can explain that.
There is something bad in your son.
It is old and it is evil and I think we can help you.
- You people are insane. - Get outta here. Right now!
Dad?
What is happening to me?
I don't understand.
Mitch.
Come on. Your son, he has
he has a demon in him.
- I know. - You know?
How do you know?
I'm the one who put it there.
Jaylen was diagnosed with lymphoma.
There wasn't any cure.
I'd just lost Laura. I.
I couldn't lose you, too.
I've travelled just about everywhere
and I've seen things...
In older parts of the world.
Things that I, I can't explain.
And I heard rumours once about a, a man in northern Iraq
who sold immortality.
And when I found him,
before I spoke, he knew why I was there.
He-he said he could save Jaylen.
I cried.
For the first time I felt like there was hope.
I brought all the money that I could carry safely
in that part of the world.
And a gun in case the money wasn't enoug.
And I knew it was possible that he was conning me
probable, even - but I, I paid him the money.
I was paying the price of immortality.
It turns out that the price was higher.
He sold you a demon.
But it worked.
It worked.
The day after you took it the cancer went away.
Boom.
It was a miracle.
How long before...
It started about six months ago.
It wasn't every night at first.
And then it was most nights. And now...
He changes.
You ready to hear about this?
The worst is, is what he does to himself.
His, his nails get long and he...
And he hurts himself.
Throws himself into walls.
Bites.
It's like the demon's trying to destroy itself
from inside.
Why don't I have any...
When you wake up, you don't remember.
You don't have any blood or scars.
Not 'til the next time.
And he's never hurt anybody else.
Except once.
It was just a deer.
Full-grown buck. Pretty much tore him apart.
But, no, you never, never hurt a person.
What happens if I do?
Maybe we can help you get rid of it.
- No. - Mitch, please?
- Absolutely not. - Dad.
Jaylen, what if it comes back?
What if you take it out and the cancer comes back?
- I want... - you don't understand!
Dad, I am old enough to make my own decisions, okay?
I get to decide.
I want friends!
Okay? I, I want to get married someday.
I just, I want a life.
However long.
You done this kind of thing before?
Sort of.
Any chance we can track down this demon dealer?
Well, I emailed Phil about it. Apparently, we have
a better chance catching wind with a net.
His words. No, we're just going to have to
go with the details we got from Mitch.
I've gone through Phil's old records.
It appears we're dealing with a sleep demon.
Immortal. And very dangerous.
It lays dormant during the day
but at night it, effectively, highjacks the body.
So why is it coming out now?
Best guess? Puberty.
It matured with the boy.
Now that he's come of age, it has, too.
Meaning it'll only grow stronger and more destructive.
Will an m.E.D. Work?
No, no. I've-I've... I've learned over time
this demon-extraction business is very bespoke.
One size does not fit all.
This particular entity,
has been fused with the boy too long.
It's laid down roots and won't come easily.
We need something more powerful I have an idea.
- Goodnight, rich. - Sorry, prof.
Gotta check the briefcase.
New security protocol.
You should've got an email.
All right. Okay. Goodnight, professor.
[Low-freq
defibrillator designed to keep a soldier's heart
beating for s, even days, if medical evac is impossible.
I've reprogrammed it to,
expel a concentrated electric charge.
What we must do:
Attach the leads to the boy's chest,
flick the switch,
and it'll burn the demon out from within.
Like how a, fever kills a virus.
And Jaylen will be okay.
Well, he should be. It's important
no one is touching the boy during the surge.
Any contact charge could be fatal, so stay clear.
Thanks, augie. We'll take it from there.
It's, probably best if I come along.
It's a, touchy little piece of technology.
Won't asdra throw some kind of legal fit?
Probably.
But standing here with you both
staring down the unknown and the unspeakable...
It just feels right.
Well, let's go.
- Audrey, I... - this is it, right?
You're gonna do a thing with the engaged property?
Please let me come. Whatever it is I can handle it.
Not this time.
Luke, we all need to learn at some point.
Okay, kid. You're up.
Hey, Jaylen.
Gotta stay awake. Remember?
Dad, something's wrong.
I think it knows.
- Dad, how does it know? - What?
Hey, it's okay.
Stay awake!
Hey! Open up, valmy!
Valmy, my kid's in emergency! Got 20 stitches.
- Maybe a concussion! - I don't... who, who's your son?
Son of a bitch! Your kid cut him up!
Okay, you need to calm down. 'T tell me to calm down!
I'm sorry, I can't help you right now. Okay? I'm sorry.
- I can't help you! I'm sorry. - I'm calling the police!
Hey!
- We gotta go. - What?
The police are coming. Come on.
But, wait, are-are are we just gonna leave?
Yeah, we gotta pack a bag, right now.
- But why? What happened? - The police
aren't going to understand. They're not going to understand.
They're going to take you away.
Look...
We're going to be okay. I promise you. Okay?
Go pack a bag. Now!
You gotta stay awake, Jaylen. Come on.
It's all going to be okay, okay? You're gonna be fine.
- Come on, talk to me! - I'm tired, dad.
Fight it, Jaylen. Come on, fight it!
I'm gonna get you where safe soon, okay?
Somewhere you can sleep. Okay, Jaylen? Jaylen!
Jaylen!
Isn't that Mitch's car?
Where the hell did they think they're going?
Mitch, where's Jaylen?
He ran. I need to go find him.
- We'll find him. - No, no, no, I
you can't help him now! We can. Stay with Mitch and call 9-1-1.
- But I... - just do it!
We'll be back.
Jaylen!
Are you out here?!
Okay, then.
Susan, is there anything you can do to restrain the patient?
Jaylen! Wake up! Jaylen!
Jaylen! Wake up!
Almost. Almost.
Jaylen, stop! H.
Audrey!
I can't hold him here much longer!
Jaylen, stop!
It's dad, Jaylen, okay? Listen to me.
I'm sorry. Okay?
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
The contacts go on his chest!
I'm sorry for everything.
- Do you, you... - Mitch, be careful!
Jaylen.
Jaylen, I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
You're in this mess because of me.
Let me help you. Let me help you now.
Don't push the button until you're clear!
Let go! It could kill you!
- I'm right here. - Mitch!
Don't!
What happened to you?
Something is weighing on me and I have to tell you.
I'm afraid I broke my promise.
You were with Luke?
There was a problem and I had the solution.
That solution, however, was a piece of classified
asdra technology that I removed from the facility
without their knowledge.
I will quietly return it
and no one needs to be the wiser.
Was it worth it?
I helped save the life of a nice young man, so...
Yes.
It was actually the most worthwhile thing I've done
in some time.
I'm sorry.
You're fired.
Clean out your desk this morning.
Security will show you out.
- I know the protocol. - Yes, you do.
Hey.
I just, I thought I'd stop in and see how you two were doing.
My ears stopped ringing, but I still taste pennies.
Could have been a lot worse.
What happened with that kid? His friend?
He's, he's okay.
And he talked his dad down off of defcon one.
Talk about a great friend.
Jaylen's lucky to have him.
- How is Jaylen? - Good.
Who knows about tomorrow, or next week
- or next year, but... - Yeah.
That's being a parent, I guess.
You do your best and you cross your fingers.
- Hey. - The valmys are okay.
All good to hear.
Hang on, we just got an email from Audrey.
This should be good.
Dear Mr. Roman and miss Ireland.
Thank you so much for the experience.
I've learned so much, blah-blah-blah-blah...
Regret to inform you I am moving on
to other opportunities less... invasive.
Sincerely... the "I" is dotted with a heart.
Audrey.
Damn it! Ach! I really liked her.
Well, we are a little invasive.
- In a super-supportive way. - I guess some people
are irrationally terrified by your filing system.
But, seriously, we'll have to find a replacement.
- Again. - Come on!
We just landed the most impressive property
we ever had.
Good things are gonna start happening.
Now.
Hey, Carl.
Surprised to see me?
Of course you are.
Since I'm not at the bottom of a lake
where you and your snivelling ratfink of a son dumped me
35 goddamn years ago!
Yeah. It's me, Carl.
Elvis the elephant.
Still alive.
Not to gloat, or anything.
When I saw that obituary
and looked at your dead, smirking, stupid face,
you know what I felt?
Actually, I was pissed.
I was furious. I was horribly cheesed off
that you were rotting in the cold, damp earth
and I wasn't the one who put you there.
That hurts, Carl.
You know, I almost stuck a knife in your son's back today.
Right in the spine. Just...
But then I thought...
That's too easy.
What I really want
is to slide into that gym-toned, sun-kissed, good-haired carcass
and ride it into glory land.
In the end, Luke will envy you...
Your pleasant, grassy rest.
So, chew on that for a while, Carl,
as the worms chew on you.