Why's mine the slow one?!
Come on!
All right.
INDISTINCT
Yep. That'll do me.
God, here we go. Like a bunch of kids.
Can't take them anywhere.
I still don't get the point of this game.
I just like whacking balls and pretending they're Davy's head.
THEY CHUCKLE
HE CHUCKLES
Right, we're next, Dad. Go on. It's your go.
I know it's my go.
Hey, hurry up and miss, Ron!
You can't rush genius, pal.
Oh, that's fighting talk, that.
Hey, do you fancy a bet, Ronnie?
I won't take your money, son.
This is guaranteed, like Sheffield fucking steel.
CHUCKLING
"No clogs on green, Mr Phelan." LAUGHTER
Hurry up, Pops. I'm getting soaked here. Hold on.
Just give me a bit of fucking space.
Oh, just hit it! LAUGHTER
Thanks, love!
ALL EXCLAIM
Can you believe that?!
All right, I'll finish it off for us, Dad.
So, I've been mulling over ways to improve our margins.
Margins are good, Ronnie.
I'm not saying they're not.
Just asking the question.
Can they be better? Wahey!
It's not worth the risk.
We don't want to start cutting it. Oh, no.
Maybe there's something else.
How about we have a conversation with the Amigos?
Why, though?
Why change what works?
I'd like money enough to relax a bit more.
Would you help me do that?
Be good for the both of us.
My clogs would fit you nicely.
If that's what you want. Yeah.
All right. Let me think on it a bit more.
Let you know tonight. GLASS CLINKS
OK, listen.
I am going to play the indulgent nana
and propose a toast.
To another little prince... All right, Mum.
..in the Phelan family.
To Alfie. To Alfie!
CHEERING, LAUGHTER
GULLS CALL
Mr Peter Thomas?
DOOR CLOSES
PHONE VIBRATES
INDISTINCT CHATTER
DOOR OPENS Michael Kavanagh?
SHIP'S HORN BLASTS
Can you confirm your date of birth?
13th of the tenth, '88.
And you know why you're here? What you need still?
Yeah.
Daft question, I know, but you'd be surprised.
Been given your paperwork and sample jar?
Yeah. Provide your sample here
and leave it in the hatch, along with your signed forms, OK?
Remote control, DVDs and Wi-Fi code
are all here if you need it.
You must not use any lubricant as it may affect the sample.
Yeah, fine. Marvellous.
Thanks. DOOR CLOSES
LOCK CLICKS
PHONE RINGS
Hello there. Hey, babe. Guess where I am.
I'm hoping you're at the clinic.
Not only am I at the clinic,
I'm inside Wank Central.
And you thought of me?
You know what I'm like.
Forever the romantic.
Every surface in here is wipe-clean.
Nice. And there's porn.
That being said, er...
I thought you might...
you know, give me some assistance.
Assistance?
Some words of encouragement?
Seeing as we're in this together.
Right, give me a minute.
You still there? I'm not going anywhere, babe.
Well, in that case,
seeing as we are in this together...
..what if I join you, so to speak?
Are you serious?
I'm just undoing a few buttons
and pushing my hand
inside some very sheer underwear.
You are very, very good.
How come we've never done this before?
I don't know.
SHE MOANS SOFTLY
on top of your knee
of business for me
Don't keep me waiting
business for me
It's good, isn't it? Yeah, it's really good.
Take it from me
Ukrainian Albarino? Yeah.
The soil and climate of the area match northern Spain, apparently.
Mm. Mm. Love it. It's a good story.
Yeah, we should take it and we should push it.
Thanks.
that I love you truly
the whole round world to see
of business
It's me.
Not only have I got a low sperm count,
but the fellas I'm firing can't even swim.
I'm sorry.
I don't care.
There are other ways of getting pregnant.
Diana, you can't do that. It's me that's the problem.
Michael, it's not a problem. Yeah, it is.
We want a family together,
so we solve it together.
We put our trust in the science.
You'd do that?
Yeah, I WANT to do that.
I love you.
And I like saying it.
Mm. So say it again.
PHONE VIBRATES
I love you.
And I'm going to Spain in about three hours.
What's happening in Spain?
Ronnie's looking for a bigger payday, and...
..and he's making noises about stepping aside.
And you step up?
You blow me away, do you know that?
I'll see you tomorrow.
DOOR CLOSES
Going en masse, are we?
Solidarity.
Davy. All right, Michael?
Jamie? What are you doing here?
It's Take Your Lad To Work Day.
Banksey's meeting us there, so...
ENGINE STARTS
Ooh-hoo!
Inside, Ronnie. Just the three of them.
Right. Yeah.
Over to you, lad.
DANCE MUSIC PLAYS
Hang on. What are we drinking here?
Where's it from again, Ricky?
I first tried it in Galicia.
It's normal there for the person preparing the queimada
to whisper some words.
HE BLOWS HARD
It's an incantation to cast out demons and bad spirits.
It sounds like bollocks.
Nah, Jay, it's true, you know. I've seen it, yeah.
Am I allowed to spit it out?
A toast. To friendship and business.
Friendship and business.
CLEARS THROAT Oh!
ALL COUGH
What Ronnie is asking for
is more of the same, but on better terms.
Same gear, better price is what we want.
We need to hear only one voice.
We're saying the same thing. One voice makes sense.
So, what can you do?
What is it you are proposing?
A change in price means that something else has to change.
Ronnie wants an improvement.
If a lower price means buying more product, then fine.
If it means us adjusting the means of transport, fine.
Bear in mind there are other suppliers,
it's a big world. Jamie.
Go and take a piss.
There's a good lad.
Jamie.
Do you know what? I am suddenly desperate for a piss.
JAMIE CLEARS THROAT
Yes, he is Ronnie's son,
but why is he at this table?
He's learning.
Why is he learning?
Our business is with you, Michael.
You think I'm doing the right thing, Davy?
Honestly?
Of course, fucking honestly!
I don't know.
That little bit more risk,
for a truckload more profit, so to speak, but...
..you need that little bit more luck, don't you?
What about your man at the docks? What can he do for us?
Nah, Ron.
He's eyes-only.
He can tell me if the container gets through customs,
but, nah, he can't change it.
So he's the best mate of useless, then.
He can tell us if we're going to be safe.
And he can keep us out of a Cat A shithole.
Mm-hm.
We buy as soon as it clears the border.
What if we buy earlier,
at sea?
We take on the risk of the UK border ourselves.
A direct shipment to Liverpool in two, three weeks' time.
Could you work up a price based on that?
If you are sure that is what you want.
That's what we want,
what Ronnie wants.
HORN BLASTS
GULLS CALL
CLUNKING
WASHER HISSES
BUZZER
PHONE VIBRATES
CHORISTERS SING SOFTLY
INTERNAL RINGTONE
Look, it's gone straight through. It's all good, yeah.
You sure you still want me to go through with this?
HE SIGHS
OK. OK.
HE CHUCKLES WRYLY
HE BREATHES RAGGEDLY
Oh, shit.
INTERNAL RINGTONE Fucking hell...
Hello, Ronnie?
It's not looking good, pal.
It's not looking good at all.
Michael?
Eight. Eight very healthy-looking eggs.
Oh! God, that's fantastic!
Fantastic.
So, Michael, your turn next.
Fingers crossed, as always.
Thank you.
DOOR OPENS
Eight. Eight!
DOOR CLOSES
PHONE VIBRATES
You OK? Mm-hm.
We should get you home.
My man on site was saying that the container was...
..like, screened off and it was taken apart.
Then they put it back together, and then he sent it on its way.
They're saying that there's a buzz.
Lots of, erm, happy faces dockside.
Happy faces?
Yeah.
You know, um, backslapping and...
Yeah? Yeah.
Then we leave it alone. We've got to.
Christ.
It stays parked in the yard and we don't go near it.
What else can we do? It's going to be rammed with spyware,
and they'll be waiting for us to collect.
What if they're not waiting for us to collect?
What if they've found fuck-all?
If they opened it, they found it.
No, they...they, they, um... they definitely opened it.
Fuck! Ronnie?! Fuck!
It's gone.
First time we buy at source, and we tank.
So what I'm thinking, is it bad luck or is it a rat?
Heavy coincidence.
Then it's a rat,
killing our supply.
You know, if it gets out we've got a hole in our supply lines,
we'll have every twat trying to fill it.
Mancs, Geordies, every fucking flavour of Mafia.
So who knew?
You, me, Davy Crawford,
Banksey, Jamie, Bobby.
All 100%, solid.
And the Amigos.
No chance.
You know, I think they're trying to teach me a lesson.
They're purely business, Ronnie.
And they'll still want paying.
So it's one of us.
Find out if anyone is selling as much as a wrap on our patch.
Yeah? Can you do that?
You want me to wade through the shit on the streets?
Well, who else can I ask?
I won't forget it.
BIKE BELL DINGS
Get up here, now!
Get in that car!
Go on! In!
Go on!
I don't think yous know who the fuck you're messing with.
Clowns on a fucking stick.
So, go on, then, soft lad. Who are we messing with?
Whose lemo are you selling?
Fuck off. I'm not a grass.
I could punch you all night, you know.
You've got one of them fucking little faces!
Fucking listen to me. You can keep your bits,
you can keep your phone, and we can pretend
like this never happened.
But you are going to fucking tell me who you're selling for.
Do you know who YOU'RE fucking messing with?
I can't get my head around that he's one of us.
It's greed. It's always greed,
and it's put a massive hole in Ronnie's pension pot.
He's going to want him ended.
Here we go.
I just don't get it.
Davy fucking Crawford?!
You never know.
Might just be a book club.
KEYS JANGLE
ENGINE STARTS
BABY GURGLES
Here we are.
It's veggie chilli, Melissa. Oh, thank you.
And there's guacamole and yoghurt.
No tortilla chips?
I make a nice chilli, don't I, Jay?
She does, you know.
PHONE VIBRATES
Thanks.
No phones at the dinner table, Ronnie.
We're not Americans.
We are not.
How come you asked Davy Crawford to be a godparent?
I like him.
You...you like him?
Shouldn't I?
Yeah.
What is it you like about him?
Don't know, he's a nice fella, isn't he? He's harmless.
Is there a problem?
No. Good man.
BANGING ON DOOR
Hiya.
No, you don't! SHE SCREAMS
Get here! SHE SCREAMS
Shut the fuck up! Now!
Don't you fucking move!
INDISTINCT SHOUTING
Jamie! No! Stop it!
Who...the fuck...do you think you fucking are?!
Fucking get off me, Banksey!
He pulled a fucking knife on me!
Don't be daft, you! GROANING
SHE SOBS
GROANING, COUGHING
It's OK. Sh, sh, sh.
Are you OK?
What's he running in here - a fucking nursery?
GROANING
INTERNAL RINGTONE
PHONE RINGS
Hello there. Morning, babe.
Did I wake you?
I was just dozing.
I never sleep properly without you here.
Where are you?
At the flat.
Late night.
Are you OK?
DOOR BUZZER
What time's the christening start?
12. I'm sure it's 12 - let me check.
All my nice clothes are black...or grey.
12, noon.
Are you coming home to change?
No. I've got a suit here I can wear.
I'm making myself a proper, healthy brekkie, by the way.
Consisting of what?
All things nutritious and good for my sperm.
You'd be proud of me. DOORBELL
One second, babe. Door.
Is it wrapped?
Yeah. Car's on its way.
Sound.
I'm back.
Who was it? Post.
Is what wrapped?
Nice piece of fish.
Have you got time to meet me for a coffee?
Yeah. Text me where and I'll be there.
Wanker.
HE CHUCKLES SOFTLY
PHONE VIBRATES
Morning. All set?
I am.
But I'm not feeling it.
I don't actually get any of it.
I know you put him up to it.
Come on.
It's Davy Crawford.
He's a follower, not a leader.
Nah, I'm feeling I need to make a point.
No, it's too soon.
Right, he was cutting three kilo,
a good weight, but where did it come from?
Keep going as planned. I'll think on it.
And don't forget about the christening.
pearly-wh...
a trace of red
doncha know
'round the corner
How's that sound?
I wasn't really listening, George.
PHONE RINGS
You're up bright and early.
How's our day so far?
All good, mate. No surprises.
You at home? Yeah. Home alone.
Our Freddie's out and about. Gym bunny.
We are indeed looking at a creature of habit.
CAT MEOWS Circuits, followed by a run.
Any problems, I'll give you a bell.
Sound.
Mate, that was some party last night.
Almost like the bad old days.
Oh, tell me about it.
I thought I'd left all that behind me.
Get yourself all cleaned up? Yeah.
Did you wash your clothes? Got rid.
How's the kid?
We got him patched up on the private.
He'll live.
Anyway, you've got about 45 minutes.
Freddie will message when he's on the move.
Take it easy.
Deep...breath.
HORN TOOTS
Ta, mate.
You smell nice.
Decided you were worth it.
I've been thinking about you.
But you'd still rather sleep at the flat?
What's going on?
Am I allowed to know?
We've got a rat in the house and it's gotten heavy.
But I'm sorting it.
After this, Ronnie owes me.
After what?
I'll tell you what.
No more than three years' time,
I've decided we can do whatever we want,
go wherever we want.
Three years. Count them.
Yeah, I'm booked in to see my mum today.
How do you think she'll be?
The same, I expect.
Is she still talking to someone?
Yeah. I mean,
I can't help, but I wish she'd talk to me...
..and I was there.
Have you ever killed anyone?
What kind of question's that?
Have you?
No, I haven't.
But...
Well, I could.
I would, if I had to. You know, if they deserved it.
Is that a deal-breaker?
How many other couples have conversations like this,
do you think? HE LAUGHS SOFTLY
PHONE VIBRATES
Don't forget where you're supposed to be later.
I won't.
And I don't mean the christening.
CAR WARNING BEEPS
DANCE MUSIC THUMPS
PHONE VIBRATES
at 5:30
BABY FUSSES
Sh, sh, sh. Hey, we're not far now.
ENGINE REVS
Are you coming? They're here.
Give me ten minutes. You know, Jamie was asking
for the same ten minutes of your time.
Elaine, I've got stuff going on.
Hello! SQUEALS HAPPILY
Hiya! Aww!
Where's my dad?
Aw, you look amazing!
MUSIC ECHOES
the girl next door
the best about
PHONE VIBRATES
Yeah? Is it done?
About ten seconds from now.
Are you going to have a listen?
Ronnie?
Abort. Stand down.
Got that?
MICHAEL EXHALES
CLOCK TICKS SOFTLY
HE EXHALES SHAKILY
HE SWALLOWS HARD
HE INHALES DEEPLY
HE EXHALES HARD
GULL CALLS
BABY CRIES
GUN CLICKS
SEAT BELT UNCLIPS
WATER BOILS
ANGRY VOICES ECHO Stop it!
SHE TAPS PHONE SCREEN
Oh, there you are! Hiya, baby!
Hiya, Mum!
Are you OK? Yeah, I'm good. How are you?
Yeah, I'm good, I'm good. Have you got your cuppa?
Yeah, I have. Have you got yours?
I have. And a biscuit.
Two biscuits.
You know I love a digestive. Yeah, I know you do.
You can dunk a digestive. Right, ready?
Yep.
Cheers. Cheers!
Have you cut your hair? I have. Do you like it?
Oh, let me see. Turn.
Oh, it's beautiful.
You look perfect. KEYS JANGLE
How's your Michael?
DOOR LOCKS
RUSTLING
HE SIGHS Come on.
CHURCH ORGAN PLAYS
INDISTINCT CONVERSATION
Got a smoke?
You're supposed to have given up.
I have given up. Jesus on a cross makes me nervous.
Ta.
So we're, er...we're definitely good, yeah?
You, er, spoke to Ronnie? Yeah, yeah. We're sound.
Um, but he wants nothing said, all right? Not a word.
Yeah. OK. Understood, yeah.
Some people still aren't in the know, so...
OK. Got it, yeah. Yeah?
Happy days.
BRAKES SQUEAK Oh, here's Diana.
Hiya! Hiya, girl!
Hiya. All right, love?
Jamie, congratulations.
No Michael?
No, he's on his way.
Elaine, Rachel, you're both looking lovely.
Mwah! Thanks.
Look at you, skinny bitch!
Half right.
Are there many babies getting done?
No, just us. Special favour.
Er, from God. Diana?
Oh, I don't, thank you. Neither should you.
Mum, we import cocaine.
You're on my case for smoking a bift?
Cut out the idle talk.
See all of you inside.
First two rows are family, hon.
Got it.
Thanks a lot for this, Jay, yeah?
I'll see you in there. Yeah. Sound. Thanks for this.
What was that about?
Ah, he's honoured, isn't he?
Feels like he's family.
What are your thoughts on Diana?
Nice arse. Oi!
Saying what I see.
Bet you Michael Kavanagh can't believe his luck.
Oh, I do like the way they hold hands. Have you noticed?
Not really.
The priest's asking, are we doing this or not?
Bobby's right, come on, let's wet the baby's head
so we can wet the baby's head!
What's the priest's name again? I've forgotten.
Oh, just call him Father. They like that.
You have asked for your child to be baptised.
In doing so, you are accepting the responsibility
of training him in the practice of faith.
Do you, the parents, fully understand
what you have undertaken? We do.
Godparents,
are you ready to help the parents of this child
in their Christian duty?
We are. So many godparents!
Lucky little lad.
Almighty and ever-living God,
you sent your only son down to our world...
..to cast out the power of Satan,
the spirit of evil,
to rescue man from the kingdom of darkness.
If your faith makes you ready to accept this responsibility,
renew now the vow of your baptism.
Do you reject Satan?
I do. And all his works?
I do.
And all his empty promises?
I do.
Do you believe in Jesus Christ, his only son,
our Lord, who was born of the Virgin Mary,
was crucified, died and was buried,
rose from the dead
and is now seated at the right hand...
You made it!
I did.
Why are you sat so far at the back?
So you could see me.
Then the 11 disciples went away...
You look perfect.
Yeah, I thought so.
When they saw him, they worshipped him,
but some doubted him.
And Jesus came and spoke unto them, saying,
"All power is given..."
Oh, my God, look at that baby's little face!
"..and teach all nations, baptising them
"in the name of the Father."
Are you sure...about me?
A family with me?
Yes.
..even until the end of the world.
Amen. Amen.
BABY GURGLES
Good boy! BABY CRIES
Cheers, mate.
love has arrived
Thanks.
See yous in a bit.
What's happening, boys? Yous all right?
All right?
to compare
So, is he here - the rat?
He's the one with the whiskers.
How's your mum?
Can you believe she's missing my dad? What's all that about?
God knows.
to be true
Don't ever cut me out.
Don't ever not tell me.
What we've got materially is very nice and I love it,
but what we have as you and me is more.
I'm not like these other women,
cos I'm not your bird or your Miss World.
I'm yours.
Understood.
Now, hold that while I go for a piss.
Ugh! Funny.
MICHAEL HUMS ALONG TO SONG
now that I've found you, stay
Knock-knock. Hiya.
I'm Cheryl. I'm Davy Crawford's wife.
Oh, yeah, and godmother.
Mm. I've been meaning to say hello a few times.
Can I just say,
I don't think I've ever seen Michael looking so happy.
Oh, well... Oh, thank you. I think!
You must be doing something right.
Well, I just demand his undivided attention,
and he complies.
BOTH CHUCKLE
Your dress is lovely, by the way.
Give it an hour, it'll be covered in red wine.
I drink too much.
Well, is that your opinion or someone else's?
Oh, I know what I am, Diana.
How long have you been together?
Like, 18 months, almost.
Oh, 18 months, wow.
Yeah.
Do you still believe him?
About what?
There's nothing good about our men.
Get out while you can, hon.
He'll survive.
Thank you.
You don't mean that.
Yeah, you're right, I don't.
That's not to say I don't appreciate the honesty.
I'm not flaky.
I'm tired.
Really tired.
And I'm you - sooner than you think.
My advice to you...
OK, my advice to you, Cheryl, is to be careful
with that wine. Your dress really is beautiful.
Yeah.
Call me.
CHEERING
WHISTLING
Looks good on you.
DANCE MUSIC PLAYS
INDISTINCT CHATTER
Sorry about the late call, Michael.
I decided you were right.
We need to know what the fuck is going on.
What are you thinking?
Firstly, there's no way Davy Crawford's brave enough
to turn rat all on his own.
Secondly,
we lose a truckload of gear,
yet there's still no truck-sized hole
in the supply line. Early days yet.
But there's stuff out there, even if it's just a trickle.
Coming from where? I don't know.
Other families? Outsiders?
I'm just thinking out loud here, but...
..could even be the gear we thought we'd lost.
Who spoke to our contact at the port?
Who gave us no other option but to let it go?
Davy Crawford.
OK, we'll rack him.
100%.
But not here. Not in the UK. I don't want the noise.
I don't want us... I don't want us looking troubled.
Then, where? It's got to be soon.
Spain.
Go tomorrow. I'll announce it.
Me and Elaine's anniversary.
He's invited. We all are. But no Cheryl.
I don't think Davy will mind that.
What about the Amigos? We can't just avoid them,
and we owe them a lot of money.
OK, we set up a meeting.
Yeah?
So, I'll see you fellas on the dance floor.
ALL CHUCKLE
CHEERING
with the bamboo door
a bamboo floor
you can drink a chino
swinging to the cha-cha
in a sombrero
when the cats are hoppin'
move to the big beat
and listen to the platter
you can drink a chino
move-a to the big beat
and listen to a platter
SPRINKLER HISSES
BABY GURGLES
Mmm...
Oh, yeah, I could get used to this.
Oh, could you, now?
Mm. Quite easily.
So, how come Ronnie's got this huge villa
with, like, five bathrooms
and marble steps,
and all you've got is a caravan in Talacre?
En suite caravan. All the mod cons.
And don't diss Talacre - that's my childhood.
SHE SLURPS
Mm! Did you enjoy that?
Mm. Yeah, it's gorgeous.
It's my last day drinking. Hopefully.
Mm. Do you know what else?
I'm getting just a little bit turned on.
Just a little bit? Mm-hm.
It seems I've developed a little lump in my trunks.
Front or back?
HE SNORES
Bobby.
Robert! Mm?
Talk to me.
Make me laugh.
In a minute.
HE FARTS
You're hilarious.
You started it.
How did I get to being this age?
Happens to everyone, love. Enjoy it.
Cos in five years' time, you'll be five years older.
Did you speak to Ronnie?
I speak to Ronnie all the time.
Did you speak to him about me?
About my ideas?
Not yet. Why not?
Because we're in the middle of a shitstorm, aren't we?
Speak to him, please. Or I will.
How many businesses do I run?
Loads. Shitloads.
It's not easy, and there's better ways of doing things.
BABY FUSSES
RATTLE SHAKES
Davy, can you just give us a hand
shifting some booze from the garage?
All right, give us a second, yeah?
I think I'm going in for a bit.
It's too hot for me out here, Elaine. OK.
Whew!
Elaine!
Are we eating in or out tonight?
Out.
I booked that nice Italian place at the marina.
Oh, lovely.
Perfecto!
I could stay here forever, I really could.
Is that the plan? One day.
What happened to Cheryl, Davy?
Oh... She couldn't make it, mate.
You know what she's like.
Probably for the best.
Bobby, if you ever leave me for a girl,
I'll have your balls, do you hear me?
Love you, too!
BABY CRIES
'Ey up. You all right, Ron?
Thanks for this, Davy. Yeah, it's no problem.
Good man.
Hey, do you want a cold one, Davy?
Oh, yes!
Oh, you know I love a cold one, Michael.
Yeah. Oh, I'm parched.
Tell you what, I love this heat, only...
DAVY GROANS
'round the corner
DAVY GROANS
DOORS WHIR
PANTING